Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? And Other Crimes - S3 E35 Dance Floor Dropper - Part Five

Episode Date: August 26, 2026

Halifax’s Biggest Hand Competition was a success (ish). And it brings us one step closer to confronting the Dance Floor Dropper.A man called Christopher suddenly becomes the key to whole investigation. We need to get him on side. If we play our cards right, the perpetrator could be just one phone call away.But with the entire investigation resting on our next move, there’s no room for (any more) mistakes.The Finale drops Sept 10th.Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmyweddingCheck out Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and BTSSound design by @avaud.ioSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Previously on Dance Floor Dropper. I've just got this text message, Lauren, from a number I don't know, and it says, you don't know me and I want to stay anonymous. I saw the shitter that night at the Acapulco with my own eyes. No. Here is a picture of the phantom shitter. That's the man we're looking for. Oh, my God.

Three, two, one. And here is the image. Is this the dance floor dropper? It's his hands, I remember. Going on the fact of the size of his hands. does like him. I would say that's him. We have eyes on the Phantom Shitter.

We have an idea and we're not sure how you're going to feel about it. We know that we're looking for a tall ginger with large hands. What if we ran a competition in Halifax, a largest hand competition? Do you think that is a good idea or do you think we should walk away from that idea? As a policing tactic, that would be way outside the rulebook. However, you're not. law enforcement agency and therefore give it a go.

Oh my God, guys, it's posted, it's live. You will not believe who's just been tagged in the purse. Ho-who, our number one suspect. Ah, jim-b-h. This is for you with your bin-lid hands. Then when I click on the profile of that guy that was tagged

and I then go to his photos, guess what is there? What? It is the same. same photo that we were sent. What are the chances? It worked. It literally worked. It absolutely worked. We have tracked down the name and identity of the real shitter through our biggest hand competition. I need to start this recording off by just appreciating everything that you are as a person for the courage, the dedication of launching, for it was short-lived, but launching

Halifax. It was. Halifax's biggest hand competition. The biggest hand competition. There are two ways to look at it.

On one hand, it could be viewed as an absolute failure. You're on the front line with the admins. They were very suspicious. The admins were getting increasingly upset,

spiraling. What is this post? What is this about? Who's it for? What's the business? They couldn't understand what was happening or why it was happening. But it was actually

quite thrilling. I'm not sure I'd call it thrilling. I was more panicking than anything else. I mean, the accusations that were getting thrown at me as well by the commenters that I was some sort of hand fetish, troublesome collector of pictures. It was just a case of saying, you know, it's just a friendly competition. There's no business as involved. It is just a genuine competition to see who has the biggest hands in Halifax. The lies weren't working. Rightly so, there were some suspicions around why a random woman in Halifax would want strangers to send pictures of their hands.

And then it was swiftly removed after a couple of comments. Five minutes. That is how long the post stayed live before it disappeared. It felt like a lifetime when I was trying to come up with the lives. Deleted. Like it had never existed at all. Five minutes doesn't sound like a long time. It isn't. Unless five minutes is all it takes.

It just so happened that obviously somebody commented a person that we already had suspicions about it being. And to the people who understood what happened during those five minutes, it wasn't a failure at all. The big hand competition was a success. Can I just say this is the universe helping us out here on this case because the chance, the probability of that post being only accepted and live for five minutes.

There are 95,000 people in that group for the friend of our key suspects who have just happened to be online to notice that post when there were hundreds of posts that day because it was the day when all businesses and event things could be posted so it was just back to back

and you could easily get lost in the feed. That friend of our main suspect happened to see it and commented and tagged our main suspect. Yeah. Oh my, this. is amazing. I cannot believe this. Whatever happens

we have now got a legitimate reason to reach out to our prime suspects and invite him to enter this competition. Our next move is critical. Do we go direct to the pooperator on Facebook and say

your mate put you forward? We're narrowing down the shortlist of winners and you may be in with a chance to win. Do not delay enter now. Or do we go via his friend Christopher, who has already engaged with the competition. Say, hey, we're just finishing the shortlisting for the competition and you tagged Jim B-B-B-Kood.

Could you let me know his email address? We can email him. We'll just say we've had loads of interest, but we can't exclude the bin-lid hands. And if we play this next move wrong, the entire investigation could be over. This is Dance Floor Dropper, Part 5. Yeah, we've had loads of applicants. dated. Everyone is involved in this, but we need to make sure that we're really going for the biggest hands. We can just say that the hands that we've received this far have not actually been sufficient

in size. We're looking for the biggest. That sounds so creepy. You're going into fetish land again, I think. Why? The way you said that just sounded... It's not me that's going into that. The whole thing is fetishy. Didn't make me feel good. We need some bigger hands. Why would we not go direct to Jim? Why would we go through the friend? I think we need to build a relationship with the friend, because I think we might need the friend later. I think so. If we cannot get access to gym, then it's weird to then go back to the friend.

Yeah. So I think we need to use the friend to engage, build a slight relationship with him, you know, make it out to be a really big gag, really funny that your friend has big hands. And then we've kind of got that connection. And then if we don't get Jim to actually apply, then we can go back to the friend later.

Yeah. Like we can do this when it's time to actually properly interrogate the friend and say we need to, see you. We need to meet up with you. Because bear in mind, our suspect Jim might not have even seen this. It might not even be on his radar. So I do think going through Christopher is the right thing to do. But I think we need you to do that. Sounds like a plan. I will do that. And then we'll take it from there because we've got a big hand competition at gmail.com,

but we need the email address to follow up. So the best outcome is to get Jim's email address, basically so we can email the instructions and Christopher's email address as well just so we can CC him in on the... Maybe we should be like, how big are your hands? No, that's creepy. Excuse me, how big are your hands? Why?

You don't know me. Hi. Yeah, but I think we should also be like, don't discount your own hands. You could also be in with a chance to win. We've also got second place prizes. No, Lauren, there's the time and a place to be weird. This is not one of them.

Why does everything you say sound like a fetish? Yeah, because I'm just, all I'm doing is like, outlining the rules of the competition. But when you two say it, you guys don't freak out about fetishes. But when I input something, you say, oh, you're making it out to be a fetish. I hate to sort of snub you, but I feel like Lydia and I are on the same page. And I feel like you're slightly off that page. Yeah, okay, fine.

Yeah, I actually agree with that. So the two outcomes that could ideally happen. One, Christopher reaches out and gets prime suspect Jim to actually enter the biggest hand competition. and submits his hand dimensions and photos to our big hand competition at gmail.com email address. And then we confront Jim at the prize giving ceremony. Option two is he doesn't do any of that. Then we'll have to find a way to meet up with Christopher in person and just get him on board. God knows how the hell we're going to do that.

I still prefer the option where he enters the hand competition, wins it. And then we meet him in person. But yeah, obviously that's best case scenario. 100%. Yeah. What happens, Karen, if we do have to email. mail the prime suspect from the account that you set up, what then happens because you made a bit of an error?

I did. Karen made a grave error when she created the account and I don't know if we can actually email from that account anymore because she can't update the name from her own name. So I basically set up the big hand competition at gmail.com and I put in my details to set up. And you know when it says from Gmail, it says your name and then the big hand competition. And I can't find a way to amend and take my name

out of it. Because as soon as my name's in there, the cat's out of the bag. They'll just Google me and be like, well, that's who shot on the floor. And I don't want to obviously give that away to the main suspect. I've just sent another test because it might have just taken some time to change. I did try and change it to Lydia DLM

just to see more legit. Just to FYI, we might be impersonating you again, if that's okay. Okay, great. Oh, it worked. Did it? It worked. Yes.

There we go. So I've done it. So yeah, do you mind if we impersonate you again? I'll sign. Of course. We can BCCU and all of our comms just so you can... He's the highest form of flattery, right? Yeah, that's true, that's true.

Come take on your identity. This is illegal. But not if you allow it to happen. It's not illegal, I don't think. It's for a good cause. It's, you know, this has been a local phenomenon for you. years and if we can get to the bottom of it, I'm incredibly proud to be of played a part in that. We right now, us three, have made this happen and we genuinely might catch the pooperator

via a big hand competition. Like that is actually on the table here, which is phenomenal. I think we just stop our podcast after this because I don't think it can get better than this. I actually agree. Quit while you're ahead. I don't think we can do better. I can't wait to tell the boss about this. I know. Are we quite good? We're quite good, eh? I think so. I think you regret.

What happens if he does show up to accept his award? I think we need to have something inside the trophy or the bare glass. And we'll be like, oh, there's a note in there. Note that says, we got you. You shat on the dance floor. It's so creepy. But we're going to have to confront him at that moment because there's no other time. And then how are we going to be recording this?

Where are we going to do this? Well, we're our undercover mics. Yeah, I know. You're almost sound quality. Yeah, I know. But where's the biggest hand competition going to be held? Have you hide out the town hall? Well, I don't know.

Lydia, thank you so much. You've been just such a joy. And, I mean, of course, we would not be here right now where we are without you. No. I'm glad I could help and contribute and get us to this point. It's been one week. One week since the plan was set, and it's already falling apart. Lydia messaged Christopher on Facebook, but he has not responded.

He is ghosting her and therefore us. On top of that, we are travelling to Halifax tomorrow. To do what? Go clubbing in boob tubes? And to make matters even worse, today is the official deadline for the big hand competition. What do we do now? Well, do we have entries?

Did anyone enter? No. And we have nothing to show for it. No one entered. Well, no, because how would they? No one would have entered within five minutes. Let me do your last check. Oh, no.

No. Yeah. Your primary tab is empty. Yeah. Oh no, no one entered the big hand competition at all. No. Not even in those five minutes. I don't think it's possible to have seen the post be in a place that you had time to immediately get a tape measure.

You photograph your hands, then search again for what the email address was and then upload your photos and send them to the big hand competition at gmail.com. It was a very low chance of that happening in five minutes. Sadly, this is the deadline. Today is the deadline. We've missed our own deadline. We need to do an extension of the big hand competitions to live on. I don't think it can live on because how are people entering? I'm thoroughly disappointed.

I had such big dreams. This was my biggest dream for this podcast that this big hand competition was going to lead somewhere. What are we going to tell the boss? I think she'll still be proud of us that something happened that linked to the real perpetrator. It's time to initiate plan B. We've run out of time now. So I think we need to contact our perpetrator.

It's time to face the music. Step one. Make contact with the perp. We're going to have to blow our cover. I think the big hand competition is out because does it feel right that we're entrapping someone into something that they thought it was going to be something else

and then actually it's no, we got you. It's funny for us, but is that actually nice? None of this is nice. None of this was ever going to be nice because you're right. We didn't think three steps ahead on this because let's say he shows up to the thing, to collect his prize, what then?

Exactly. The outcome of the ambush would not be good. We can ambush friends but not strangers. Yep. Okay, good. I'm glad that's our line. Wow, we're developing some ethics. I think we've got one chance to get him

and maybe we have to come clean. I think honesty is where we go from here. He's not going to want to meet up with us if he thinks that we think he shout on the floor at the nightclub. But before we even think about messaging him, one look at one of our profiles is going to tell him that we investigate fecal crimes

and he's going to know what this is all about we need to erase any trace of our connection to fecal crimes gosh it's like it feels like I'm a criminal trying to delete my past so you've deleted all your podcast stuff from Facebook yeah yeah that looks lovely it's just a squeaky clean Facebook page

it's absolutely squeaky clean nothing to see here I wonder if I should become friends with someone else first that he's friends with. That's actually a better... Actually, that's my way. That's my way of doing it. I need to just become friends with someone that he trusts.

Step two. Engage Christopher and try to force him to meet us when we get to Halifax. I get the sense he's quite good lulls. Regardless, we need the friend. If he's lonesy and he is access to the real Purt, we need him. What do we say, though? I think... Maybe we're just investigating a local crime and we need his...

witness statement or something. I'll write something and I'll send it to you. I think we can't lie. I think at this point we have to be honest. Yeah. The thing is we've kind of shot ourselves in the foot with the biggest hand competition. I kind of regret it now because he totally knows that we're behind that. We've completely

messed up really. Let's be honest. It was a great idea in theory. Do you think it was bad? I don't think we're in the strongest position. I don't think we've put ourselves in the strongest position. By launching a biggest hand competition? No. Maybe not. Good to know for next time. though.

The messages have been delivered. Friend requests have been executed. Now there's only one thing left to do. It's time to go to Halifax. Attention passengers. We've now reached our destination. We hope you enjoy the flight and have a nice day. Halifax. You've never been AliFax.

Tadda. Nope. No. No idea. Oh, you've not lived. Birthplace of Ed Sharon. Home to the Macintosh Toffee. setting for the crime TV show Happy Valley and most importantly the town that delivered us

the dance floor dropper first order of business approach locals on the street investigating who sat on the dance floor at the Acker I don't know if you've heard about that would you mind if we could report asking you some questions about it but the issue is that no locals on the street

want to talk to us don't feel like everyone's walking away from us but then we turn a corner oh Karen and spot the real police We're a comedy detectives and we're investigating a comedy mystery around the corner. And we thought this would be a good opportunity to catch up with our colleagues. Yeah, it's, do you know that someone chat on the dancer, the apple,

I'll go multiple times. 2011 onwards, the actual police weren't involved, but they weren't closed. Yeah, that's where we exist. I think we're people detected. Yeah, they did it. Six to eight times. And then Karen asks the police if they could look. lock me inside their police van in the prisoner cage.

I'm in the back of a police car. If you would like to witness this moment to go to our Instagram at Hooshat on the floor at my wedding. And finally, we reassure the police that the case is safe in our hands. No big deal. We're just cracking the case. Yeah, we're cracking it.

Don't worry about it. Okay, Detective Breakover. Tudda. Let's get back to cracking this case. It's Tudder on the dance floor. And I've got some pretty exciting news to share. Almost immediately after we messaged Christopher, He responded, And you better not kill the girl.

And guess what? We're about to meet him. This is very exciting, Lauren, because we are at the climax of this case and I think we're about to solve a very, very big part of it. We're at the Airbnb, sitting in the front lounge. At any moment, Christopher will arrive. The case of the phantom shitter could be resolved within the next 30 minutes.

He's the only person we have managed to get in touch with that knows the perpetrate of what he sounds like. And he knows his phone number. What do we have right now? I have a phone number of someone who is the self-professed phantom shitter. And we've also got the real audio recording from the documentary maker of the voice of that. self-professed phantom shitter. So Christopher is about to come in here and he's going to verify what I believe will be a false confession, which means he's our link to the real pooperator and he will then become our inside man to work on the pooperator and find out

the big question, Lauren, which is why? Why? Why did you shit on the dance floor? And Karen has purchased some beers, so that is our bribe. He seems pretty up for it, to be honest. The thing we do not know, we don't know if Christopher knows that his mate is the shitter. So this needs to be... Handled with extreme care. We don't know, who knows what, we actually don't genuinely know.

He could be messing with us. He actually could be messing with us. He could be coming here and he could be absolutely messing with us. He could be bringing the perpetrator. Which would be amazing. It would be amazing, but it would also be quite scary. I don't care what, as long as we get answers. One way or another, yeah, okay.

But we have verified that this man is the guy that the owner of the Acapulco and the manager of Acapulco saw with their own eyes. They are 90% sure that this is the guy. And so we need a confession to be 100% sure and solve this mystery for good. Do you have any concerns? Slight concern.

We're inviting a man that we've never met in to our Airbnb. First of all, we were like, let's meet at the pub down the road. And then we're like, well, the audio quality is going to be a mess. It's going to be too loud there. So we're like, oh, let's just take the risk, I guess,

and invite him over to ours. I'm a good judge of character. I've got a good vibe. My gut is like he's complete bansk. It's a good lad. I found him on LinkedIn. But then I was very open and transparent. I was like, this is what we're doing.

We're investigating a comedy mystery that's local to Halifax. We think your mate has some key information for us. Would you mind trying to put him in to, touch with us or just direct him to the message I sent to him on Facebook because we just want to hear if he's got the message, if he's keen to talk to us, or even fine if he doesn't want to talk to us. We just want to know. So he did that and he said he's useless. And then I was basically like, well, can we chat to you? Because you might be able to help us. And he said yes. And then he made a bit of a joke about the big hands. He's joked about the big hand. So he knows that we

set up the big hand competition. Are you sure? 100%. Yeah, so I said, just checking if you heard anything from your mate, still haven't heard a peep from him, and he replied going, no, the helpless tosser.

I'll start growing my hands so I can help you out instead. Shit. I didn't know that. I genuinely feel a tiny bit on edge that he's coming into our house. It's two against one anyway. Were you just about to look for a weapon?

A knife in the kitchen. We should actually hide the knives and we should pat him down when he gets here. You're freaking me out. You're literally freaking me out. Karen, this is the weirdest position we've. We've exposed our address. I was the one that was like, let's meet in the pub and not worry about audio.

I said go to an alleyway and then you just randomly texting him our address. He said no, because he said he didn't want to walk down an alleyway. He said that. Well, he's like, I'm more of a like sit down and slump in a seat. So he was like pub or whatever. Did he say no to be yelling? No, he did. He said he didn't want to go on a walk.

I said, Look, it's not a walk. He said, hope the pub isn't overly loud. And he said, I'm built for comfort in short bursts of power, are you not walking? Is this normal? Is what we doing normal? No.

It's too late now. What's done is done, Karen. I feel I do genuinely feel mildly on edge, but I think the second we meet him will know if he's a creep or not. Yeah, this is not helpful. What's done is done. He's coming over, and it will be fine. He works for a children's charity, FYI.

Does he? So, yeah. Oh, why don't you tell me that? Why are you keeping them? Told you that yesterday. You've asked me that twice. You've got a memory like a sieve and you're not helping. You're not helping the situation.

You're not helping the situation. So anyway, how are we going to do this? So what we need to do is coming over to this microphone now. We need to play this video. A clip from Marcos documentary featuring the self-professed dance floor dropper. But this time it's with his real voice. And we need him to not talk. over it because we can't ever reveal the real

voice of this person. But we're going to play this video first and say, is this Jim? So step one is roll out the false confession. Yeah. Step two is put Jim in the frame for the crime. Exactly. Okay. Okay, I'm ready now? We're all really nervous.

He's arriving in nine minutes. Oh my God. Oh, Lauren. He's just parking. who does message. Oh God, this is so odd.

I actually feel nervous. Do you? Yeah. Have you got the water? Yeah. Should we just get the beer ready? If he's parking? No, let's be here when he.

Let's just be normal. Yeah. I'm going to be like this. And you need to make sure that you're that. What do we do? Do you be a handshake or what? Hand shake. Will you want to do like?

Too formal? Fist bump. No, I was just going to not do anything. High five. Hey. come in hey come in no handshake's normal

handshake's really weird I think a handshake is really weird I think so I'm not even gonna hug I'm just gonna say hey welcome oh my god okay yeah hello hi hi I'm just talking to Lauren Kelvin

hello how we're doing good how are you all right yeah we want to sit there that would be great sorry it's all a bit chunky on what are you hearing so we leave on Saturday so not very long

but we arrived on Wednesday. We love it here. It's amazing. Hallifax. I absolutely love it. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with it. Yeah.

It's all. There is a reason why we have invited you over to our Airbnb in just outside Halifax, given that you have no idea really who we are. Do you have any idea why we've invited you over today? No. You must have run out of people to ask. Scraping the barrel. We genuinely think, and it's quite a bizarre,

far away how we've crossed paths with you, but we genuinely think you might be able to help us solve a big part of a mystery that we've been investigating for a couple of months now, actually. As you know, we specialize in very weird comedy crimes. Sometimes they're fecal. Sometimes they're not. Can you guess what crime we're investigating at the moment in Halifax? No idea. No idea. Somebody Has been shitting On the Acapulco dance floor

Oh yeah I heard about that actually Yeah? Yeah, yeah You're familiar with that crime? Somewhat What do you know about it? I read about it online

Okay That was a joke It's still quite funny Yeah It is funny That's why we've taken it on To investigate And have you noticed

our investigative presence in the local Halifax community in any form. No, I didn't stay away from Halifax. There was obviously the Facebook post. What was that? Looking for somebody with big hands. Why do you believe that we were involved in that? I think Karen posted it. Did you?

No. Did you? No. We had a local helping us just so we weren't exposing ourselves digitally. But we were quite impressed because you definitely connected the dots because when I reached out to you on LinkedIn, I was like, Christopher's on it because he was like mentioning the big hands constantly.

And I was like, how did you connect the dots? Fate. Intuition. Yeah, yeah. No idea. Okay, so that was just a floke. It must have been, but I don't message everybody that messages me on LinkedIn saying,

oh, you're the big hand investigator. Yeah. That would be weird. The really weird part about this case is that there's a local lad who's a documentary maker that came over in 2020. he lives in Thailand now, but local lads, and he wanted to make a documentary about Halifax, and he specifically the Acker. He did some great interviews, street interviews, sat down with all the employees of the Acker, thought he had everything in the tin to make this documentary.

Then out of the blue, he gets a text message from a random number going, it's me. I'm the dance floor dropper. I'm the brown bandit. Like, if you want to meet, let's meet, and I'll tell you everything. And so I don't know if you've seen that documentary, but there's a moment where they agree to meet with the abandoned brickworks just outside Halifax. And this self-professed dance floor dropper emerged out of one of the abandoned buildings wearing a balaclava, spent an hour and a half with this documentary filmmaker in character explaining everything that went through his head, the motive, why he did it, how he did it. I got in touch with this same guy because we really wanted to speak to him. So the first thing that we really need your help with is to rule this guy out because the big reveal is we have got one witness, multiple witnesses actually, that knows who the real person is.

Okay. The real shitter. Fabulous. And the big drum roll is it's your friend. We're going to call him Jim, but his name is not Jim. Right. Okay. So we've got a.

a witness that has seen, like they're 90% short. It's him. They've seen a photo of him. We never, just so you know, we're never, we don't want to reveal his name. We're never going to reveal his name or who it is because we want to, you know, it's a fun podcast and we don't want to do that. So we're going to call him Jim or the pooperator if we work out. It's actually him.

Cool. So we basically are going to play a clip of who we think is a false confession. It's a video of him wearing the balaclava from this documentary maker with his voice. and we just want to know for sure from you, is that your mate, Jim, or not? Okay. I'm going to play this. If you could refrain from talking over the video

because I don't want to reveal his actual voice. Because in the documentary, Marco changed his voice. But Marco was kind enough to give us the original roars of his voice. What a good lot. And so, but we don't want to play that, obviously, because we want to keep that guy anonymous as well. So this is just... So don't speak when you listen.

So Christopher, is this your friend, Jim? It's not him I knew it I knew it It's not him It's not Jim That is not Jim's voice It's not Jim's voice

That is not Jim's teeth Speaking of teeth Karen has already Discovered something She unearthed some dental evidence That supports the theory That the guy in the documentary Is not the same person

As Jim Our top suspect More on that later Why do you say first of all It's not his voice Because it sounds completely different So you're 100% certain 100%

Yeah he's confident And do you by any chance Recognise that voice From anyone else you know Don't think so You've just helped us with a key part of this case Which was to roll out the man in the documentary And confirm that's a false confession

I just want to double double check Could I give you a phone number Could you put it in your phone and see if it comes up With anyone that you know Good idea Yes Okay so we'll block this

out but 07568. No, nothing's coming up. Nothing's coming out. And that's definitely not Jim's number. Could you just double-check the last three digits of... From what I have. I knew you were the key to this, Christopher. I can probably ring somebody and clarify and confirm his number. Are you not sure you've got his latest number? Yeah, I'm not sure I do. I'm sure it changed. All we want to get at the end of this is did you do it? Yes or no. And why? That's all we want. So would you feel comfortable giving us the number? Did you message him on Facebook? Yeah, yeah. Do you think he saw your message? Because I have a feeling he just hasn't seen anything from... Probably. I don't think he's very active on that. I can get his number. That would be amazing. Oh my God. I feel really like... Do you want me to ring someone? Yeah, yeah.

I'm really excited. Yeah, this is it. Can I just say the dream for how this will go is tomorrow. If we meet up with Jim somehow and talk to him in person, that is our absolute dream. That's the pinnacle, like that's what we're aiming for, but we're happy with things below that, if that's not. Cool. If you think that's not possible. Lovering this guy. So much to spin.

I love it. I've got a favour that I need, like, imminently. It's quite important, urgent. Do you have Jim's phone number at all? Yeah, I've got one of you. Yeah, I've just texting you now. Right, it sounds. Oh my God, amazing.

This is so thrilling. We're going to get his number. Well, he's sent me a number through. Hang on wait. Are you going to call him right now and just to check if it's his number? Yeah, kind of. I think we should.

And then, but what would be the reason? I can make it up. I'll just say, I think we're over some period with pool. We might be short. You're available any weeks. So the backstory is, so the pub where we play pool from, it was at the time a bit of a regular.

We kind of signed him on in case we were short. And he did play the odd game for us. And then just to check if it's him, yeah, I think that would be amazing. But then what if we want to try me? him tomorrow. I think we just need to do that and then we'll call him separately, knowing that that's the number and then we'll explain.

You and I? Yeah. Yeah, okay, let's check it's his number. Oh, God. Don't say did you shit on the dance floor. Come on. Oh, let's not forget about the dental evidence. I think I've just found evidence that the self-professed phantom shitter that I have been texting

and he's been ignoring me, I think I've got proof that that is a different person to the real phantom shitter. I've just found proof that it's not the same guy. Whoa. I'm going to talk you through it. Marco responded today, and he sent through a clip of the phantom shitter, the same person I was texting. And he sent it with the voice filter off. So we can now hear that person's real voice, which is a very important asset.

That hasn't led me to any conclusions. But when I watched the clip again, I looked at this man's teeth. We can't see his eyes He's wearing sunglasses And he's wearing a balaclava All we can see is a bit of his mouth And we see his teeth And so then I go back to the Facebook page

Of our real Perpetrator And do you know what is interesting About the real Perpetrator's teeth He is braces He's missing some What? So this is the real

Perp's teeth That is not the same guy Oh wow Those teeth are not the same teeth They are different sets of teeth He has maximum teeth Karen, this is amazing Should we loop in the boss

The boss needs to help us with this Because she's not really been doing much recently I don't think so Oh my god That is incredible detective work She's going to be really impressed by that By the way when we report that back to the boss Missing teeth

That you zoomed in on people's teeth I think we might need to get a dentist on board We need a dentist. Because it's quite a blurry photo. Yeah, they need to be like upper molar left is absent. Exactly. Yeah. Okay, I'll reach out to.

Reach out to your dentist. And maybe you have to pay for an appointment. Yeah, I'll put it on the podcast and get a teeth whitening while I'm at it. And then just get some like teeth work done as well. I'll be like, what's that 10,000 pound expense? You're just going to come back with veneers that you've put on the podcast. Absolutely not. Activating Expert Database.

Professional Experts Air 3D. Contacting experts. What's your official sort of title? Do you get to doctor? This is a really basic question. Yeah, you can use the title doctor. Dr. Dentist? Yeah, so I have a PhD as well,

so I can use it from that point of view. Or as a dentist. I don't tend to because I think it's a bit pretentious. Okay, your name right now is Dr. Dentist. That's your name. Are you ready to solve? this case with us right here, right now on this call. I'm feeling the pressure, but absolutely.

There's a lot at stake. There is everything at stake here. What's the dentist's term for the canines? Canine. The canine d. Can we just play the ABCs of dentistry? What's this tooth called? The front tooth?

Central incisor. And then the other front tooth? So both are central incisors, so you'd have upper left and upper right central incisors, then upper left and upper right lateral incisers, and then the upper left and upper right canines. Okay, this is the range of front teeth that we're very interested in. Okay. So Dr. Dentist, I'm going to play you a clip right now of this documentary where the self-professed shitter is talking.

Initial very top line Dr. Dentist's opinions. From what I can see, he's got all his upper front. teeth and they look to be all sort of fairly even and uniform in colour, shape and size. Ethan, he's got no obvious missing teeth that I can see. We're about to move on to the real suspect here. Dr. Dentist, is this the same person as the self-professed shitter, judging by his teeth? I would say, judging by teeth and smile, that looks like a different person. The lip line looks different, the angle of the teeth looks different,

the size and shape and just positioning of the teeth looks different, where the lower lip sits on the upper teeth looks different, and the buckle corridors, so they're little kind of dark areas at the side of the mouth. Although with the balaclava on it was hard to see those, they look more prominent here. So it looks like a very different smile and a very different set of teeth.

A lot of differences that mean it's very, very likely that's two different people. We've got our answer, Lauren. We've got our answer verified by a doctor dentist. Dr. Dentist? Yes. I just want to let you know that last night I flost. I'm pleased for you. Thank you.

I bit a dentist once. On purpose or by accident? It mixed for both. He just surprised me. Well, as a hygienist, actually, not a dentist. But I, yeah, I bit them. This is like a therapy for us. We're just revealing all of our deep, dark dentist issues.

Yeah. I've heard it all before. Have you been bitten before? Yeah. Coming up on the finale of Dance Floor Dropper. I'd love to see his face. If I just said to him, oh, you're the phantom shitter. His facial expression, the way it changes, when that question is asked.

Oh my God, how are we going to do this? We've got one shot. We do have one shot. And this is the way we're choosing to use that shot. I think we should do it The only reason I rung you, right is something cropped into my head Somebody mentioned a few months ago

about somebody shitting on the floor in the ACA I have a weird feeling There is a lot to unpack That's just thickened the plot Oh God, there it is There's the ACA Oh no, Karen