Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? And Other Crimes - S3 E7 Doggy Bag - Part One

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

Through a dark twist of fate a dead dog named Joao vanishes in the most unlikely theft imaginable.What begins as a bizarre mistake spirals into a rollercoaster of chaos, deception, and the relentless hunt for answers. Each revelation pulls us deeper into shadows where nothing is as it seems.Set against the glittering façade of Paris’s Champs-Élysées, one haunting question lingers: will justice for Joao ever be found?Part two drops October 23rd.Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes.
Sound design by @juanthummler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

9-1-1. What's your emergency? Something bad has happened. A dog has been stolen. Oh, you've got the wrong department, ma'am. This is the police. We deal with real crimes. Hang on, I'll transfer you to someone who can help. Karen. Karen. Okay, I've got it. Get the phone.

Karen, pick up the phone. Now. I'm just finishing my pushkit. Honestly, Karen. Hi there, it's assistant to the detective Karen Whitehouse here. How can I help? Someone has stolen my friend's dog. Oh, okay.

I'm going to have to patch you through to the lead detective for this kind of case. Hold the line. Alright, here we go. This is Detective Lauren Kilby speaking. How may I help you? Welcome to our brand new series when the cops say no, we say yes. This is Detective Lauren Kilby reporting semi-live from our underground detective agency. I'm here with assistant to the detective, Karen Whitehouse. This season, we're launching the world's first speed-solving detective service.

Each episode, we're going to take on a new non-crime crime submitted by one of our lovely listeners. We'll meet them, hear their story and present back our groundbreaking theories in an attempt to crack the case. Part detective show, part game show, part panicky race. This is when the cops say no. We say yes. Do you want to say here? Because you've got longer leave.

First of all, I just want to set the context for where we're starting off this. Pre-interrogation recording, we're knelt on the floor around Detective Lauren Kilby's bed because Detective Lauren Kilby has this absolute need to film the next witness in this weird video setup. It's awkward. It's intimate. And I'm here for it. I'm going to embrace it. Karen, my knees are sore. Oh, are they? You're kind of crouching at the end of my bed in like quite an invasive way. Like I imagine myself in bed and then I'm going to have the memory of this moment of you being at the end of my bed crouching. I'm just not very good at kneeling. But anyway, let's... You're hunching over my bed. Just take your arms down.

Take your arms down. Oh, no, I want to, I'm doing this and you can't stop me. you've heard about this story it's a fucking weird story it's a wild ride already the first thing I remember you saying to me is that it's got hints of urban legend around it I was on a train to Paris recently with my friend Yannika

who told me about something shocking that happened to the colleague of her friend the story was so outrageous and captivating that the whole train carriage was listening in and strangers were gasping and shrieking. This story involves a couple going on holiday with their dog. Something horrible happens to the dog and then the dog gets stolen.

Initially I felt that our role as investigators on this case would be to find out what happened to the stolen dog and get justice for the victims. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I felt like the story was so ridiculously far-fetched, that there is a high chance of someone messing with us and feeding us a fake story. In which case, our mission will be to track down the perpetrator, the person who concocted this story for attention.

Is that her? Yeah, that's Janika. Okay, let me get the door. Okay, Janika, thank you for joining us here in my bedroom. Thank you for having me. Bedroom slash underground detective agency. All right, Janica, please tell us the doggy bag story. So my friend Leina, she has a colleague, and the colleague last summer decided with her boyfriend

to book a train to Paris for a little romantic weekend away. They booked a train, and it was quite expensive. Couldn't really figure out why, but they were like, we just really want to go away for this romantic weekend, so let's do it. And then everyone was like, well, obviously it's really expensive because it's the Olympics this summer in Paris. And they decided, it doesn't matter, we still want to go. So they also booked a really overpriced hotel and everything planned for the weekend. And they have a little dog. It's a Portuguese stray dog.

Now, they were about to go to the train station to go to Paris, but they had to drop off their dog beforehand at the shelter or at the dog hotel. And the people there were like, your dog is a bit sick. We don't actually want him in here because he's going to make other dogs. ill as well. They had already spent all this money on the trains and on the hotel so they decided let's just take the dog with us, how bad can it be, and go to Paris. So they arrived in Paris, great, went for a big walk with the dog. They got to the Chantillyise and they were walking and suddenly in front of the Louis Vuitton store on the Chantzillise, the dog sneezed

and fell dead to the ground. So there was a little bit of cave. chaos on the Chantz de Csizet. There were other tourists and people around, but there were also people coming out of the Louis Vuitton store that worked there who were like, we don't really want a dead dog lying in front of our store. It's not a great look. The owners of the dog were like, what do we do in a foreign country with a dog, with a dead dog? And they were said that their dog had died. The people from the Louis Vuitton store decided this needs to end this situation. We don't want this chaos in front of the store. And they brought. We got out a Louisville shopping bag and said here you can put the dog in it and take it with you. And the owners were like, okay, well then we can go back to the hotel and we can figure it out. So they put the dog in the bag and they started walking again. And then a scooter comes driving past and grabs the bag from their hands and steals the bag with the dead dog inside it and drives off. So their dead dog was just stolen.

stolen and we don't know what happened. If this is true, because it's quite a marvellous... It is. ...tale, isn't it? I would say marvellous. It is very marvellous. It's very creative and it's quite wonderful if it did happen. Not great for the dog, not great for dog owners, but I mean it's one of those quite

intriguing tales. Can we talk about the sneeze? Yes. What do you think the dog... died of like does a sneeze kill a dog does a sneeze kill a dog can you sneeze so much that it might who knows my previous cat farted and then died you know louis Vuitton is well known for their dog range I did not know that no they've got lots of little nice outfits I wonder if like little fido was like padding around and then he's like saw his like dream outfit heart gets a little bit

Flissory. One day. Oh, got it. He's a window shopping. Finally, my dream outfit. It's his name. Well, why do you keep calling, you actually keep referring

to the dog as Fido? No, it's a very well-known English. I don't know where it comes from, but it's... Fido? I think it's Latin for dog, is it? But it was a Portuguese stray dog, so I don't know if his name.

Gonzales, no. What should we call him? Shwau. Juao. Jua. Yeah, that's good. Okay, the dog is officially named Shwau. It's definitely not Fido.

But Fido's not in. to Louis Vuitton luxury goods? Jowl. Jowl is not into Louis Vuitton luxury goods. Let's not judge any imaginary creatures right now. How much did this dog weigh in your head?

Yeah, that's a good question. I would say about like six or seven. For the context, I have a cocker spaniel and she is a little bit overweight and that's my fault, but she's around 11 kilos. But for a one-handed swipe at speed on a scooter, you need fantastic balance. There are definitely some lose ends to the story.

This is the part of the story where everything starts to get a bit complicated. Yanaka was convinced that the dog owners were two handshakes away from her, that her friend Laina heard the story from the actual dog owner. We asked Laina to put us in touch with the couple who lost their dog, but it wasn't quite that simple. It turns out that the chain was a bit longer than Yannika originally thought. So you're number one, Yannica. Yeah.

Leina is number two. Tonight we speak to number three. Caro. Number four is Giselle. Number five is Heidi. Number six is Emma. Number seven is Peter. And number eight is Mario Line.

And Mariolein, you've reached out on LinkedIn and she is not responding. So she actually could be the owner. Oh, eight people. So do you actually believe that this is true or false? I actually believe it's true. I really hope it's true. Actually, not for Fido, Juel. I don't want Jueuil to be dead,

but I do hope the story is true. Yeah, I think it is true. For me, what is funny about it is that I imagine the thief driving around the corner quite heavy. Let's see what I stole and then he opens the bag and it's a dead dog. Yeah, it's a big fuck you to the thief.

Yeah, exactly. I hope he didn't have like a big, boss that got really angry with him or something. Oh, you're worried about the thief now. If he's reporting into someone. Yeah. Who's going to be upset with him for not stealing something good? If this is true, the sickest ending, I think, of this story, that if we're going really dark,

is that this dog was sold to some dodgy Parisian taxidermist, not finished his qualifications or his online courts like Detective Kilby. And he was badly done. I've seen a fucking fox look like an ironing board when taxidermy goes wrong. Like, Jouau is an ironing board of his former self in the corner collecting dust in some person's house. He deserves better than that.

He deserves better. And that's actually why we're taking this case on because we believe in justice for Juao. Justice for Juel. Louis Vuitton could help. They could definitely help. And maybe they could, like, dedicate one of their next pieces of spring, summer collection, to Juel.

The Jual bag. Yeah. I'm going to let you in. a little secret. I think you know that I used to work at a well-known, respected advertising agency. Someone that used to be, that agency is now very high up in Louis Vuitton. So we have an insider working for us. I just can't wait to speak to like the head of Louveton. I wanted to ask how long it would take for their shopper bag, their largest shopper bag, to break under the weight of a seven kilo dog. I mean, you would presume that their shopper bag is good quality.

Should we go into Louis Vuitton today here and get one of their biggest bags? Yes See what it fits? Yes Oh my fucking God evidence We can put in that We can do tests

Let's see if they can Sorry, let's see if it I can't wait to get into Louis Vuitton We don't want to buy anything But can we have one of your biggest bags Do you think they'll give it to us Just to get to late Those pegs will be worth like 30 euros

Are you pay that We could buy the bed We'll barter Neri bottom on just for their bag. And then we'll have to go outside and be like, hey, does anyone have a dog we can borrow? Yanukkah, thank you for your bravery for stepping forward today and giving this case to us.

Leave it with us. Your case is in safe hands. Goodbye. Thank you. Goodbye. Good luck. Goodbye. This case is officially open. The 24-hour speed-solving countdown to crack this case starts now. Countdown initiated. 24 hours left on the clock.

24 hours. Also known as one day. It's time to make contact with Karen's Louis Vuitton insider. Karen, compose the email. Oh, I hope you will. I'm not sure if you remember me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. A touch of flirting, as per always.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. And swiped the bag away. So no, it's a very strange thing to ask, but given that you're on the inside, we feel you could help us uncover the truth behind this strange story. Do you think we could get in touch with the store manager

who worked in the Champsalise store in Paris to see what he knows? 32 minutes pass. He's responded. Karen, it's nice to hear from you. The story is a banger, although it's definitely giving urban legend vibes. Just as well we need to investigate and find the truth. In order to help, can you let me know when the incident took place?

Karen writes back, saying the incident supposedly happened sometime around the Paris Olympics last year, between the 26th of July and the 11th of August. 48 minutes pass. Guess what, Lauren? I've just got an email back from The Insider. Karen, I know our Shamsalise store manager well. I've reached out to him and I'll let you know what he says. Back to the chain.

You've already heard from Janaka, who heard the story from Leina. And she told me by sending me a voice message over WhatsApp, and that was in the beginning of October. And this is that voice message. Okay, are you the cloud for us? Okay, are you ready for this? Lena starts going through all the details of the crime. Turns out the owner of Juel isn't her colleague, but in fact her colleague's friend.

The details of the story are pretty consistent with what Yannika reported into us, until we get to the part where the dog dies. The dog dies of a heart attack. But guess what it doesn't do? It doesn't sneeze. Yes, what the fuck. We need to speak to the third person in the chain, Karol, the colleague who reported the case to Leina.

Karen, make the call. So the story I heard was, there's this couple. They wanted to go to Paris, but it was extremely expensive because it was like the week before the Olympics. We already have an issue with the timings. Yannika and Leina said that this happened during the Olympics, not ideal. And then Karol add some very

specific background information about the couple. These people are very, I don't know if they're climate activist, but they are very, they occupy themselves with a lot of green choices. Then, Juel's death. In front of the door of the Louis Vuitton

shop, the dog dies. So they panic. Like, what the fuck? Figuring out what to do next, do you have to look for freezer somewhere or can you take it with you in a train at that dog what are you going to do with a dead dog like who you're going to call in Paris I think okay they're just figuring out like oh my God it's such a heavy bag what's in it

maybe they feel a little bit and it's Outsfer and then they open it and they have they have a dead dog do you know why he died like what was the cause of death I have no idea what I heard is that he was sick in the Netherlands and they were just walking on the streets and he just tipped over and was dead. And the way you just told that story is that the exact same way you told Laina the story? Yes, multiple times. Interesting, because Laina is pretty certain that Dweil died of a heart attack and then Yannika took it a step further and said that Dijuel sneezed and then died.

If this turns out to be false, do you feel that you need to go and rectify your your stories that you told last year and apologize for passing on misinformation or do you feel okay about it? I don't think I will do that. I would have to call a lot of people. Tomorrow we're speaking to Giselle tomorrow morning. Giselle is Cardo's colleague who told her the story. Do you think your story is going to tally 100% with what Giselle tells us? Yes. So are you under the impression that it was Giselle's colleague that this happened to?

No, a friend of hers. I was extremely certain that I was only one handshake away from the dog owner. And now, during this process, I found out there already after me like five other people. Because it wasn't a friend of Giselle. told me afterwards no okay it's not directly from her from Heidi but it's from her sister and then the sister turned out to be a colleague and then the colleague turned out to heard the story from her sister who heard it from her colleague and then I don't know but Caro you were the one that told me the end of the line you

told me the name of who you think it is I thought it was but then Giselle texted me I said is this the dog owner and she's like I think this is the dog but it turns out she got it from somebody else. So Maria Line is not the end of the line. It's more than eight people. Up until now, we thought that Mario Line was the end of the line, that she was either the dog owner or the source of the made-up story. We're going to be investigating this for years.

This is going to be the thing we do for the rest of our lives, only investigating this one fucking crime. We're going to have to speak to Maria Line. We have to. This case, honestly. Well, the thing is that I'm a journalist, so that's what makes it extra stupid if it's not true. Because people are really going to question everything I say. For me, the Olympics is like the element which made me think this is true, because why would you add such a random fact to a story?

For me, that's the reason to believe everything. there were people on like birthday parties that were coming to me like are you are you the source of the dog story because I need to know if this is true I'm like yeah I mean I'm only one handshake way of the sort they're like the dog owner my biggest fear for this case is that it goes international and that it's like we get to the end of the line in the Netherlands and then it's like oh yeah but someone told me about it and they live in New York yeah I know it's really late and we're all really really knackered but could you give us, I would love just a little bit of a pep talk, a bit of motivation from you as part of this messed up whatever we're in, whatever this story is that we find ourselves in. Could you just help us get the motivation to crack this case and find out if it's true or not? For me, I think it's very important that you go on with this case. And that's maybe a little bit of eocentric to say this, but as I told you, I'm a journalist. and I've told this to a lot of people

who are now questioning my integrity which is something I find very important in myself and my work so I just really hope that eventually there will be a podcast episode that I can send to people if they are questioning me I'm like no this is true because these canine detectives

solve this case and it's fucking true and I'm going to tell this for the rest of my life. So you want us to protect your integrity. That's one of our case girls. Thank you. Have a good night. Bye, Carol. Bye-bye.

12 hours remaining. 12 hours to go. It's the next morning, and we wake up to an email from Karen's Louis Vuitton insider. I heard back from the Sean's Alise store manager. confirmed that nothing like this happened at the store around the Olympics. The story is not true. Karen writes bet. This is very, very useful information. Thank you. We will interrogate the shit out of the people who have been guilty of lying to us with this fake story and we will try to rebuild the

image of your flagship Parisian store. We will fight for justice on behalf of you, on behalf of your luxury brand and we will put an end to this nonsense right here, right now. Thank you for the insider information. We're very grateful love from the detectives. Who can we trust? Would Louis Vuitton even own up to this if it was the truth? Who is messing with us? You've got to dig through a whole lot of lies

to get to the truth. What is real? The next person in the chain that we are speaking to is Giselle, Cardo's friend who told her the story. Honestly listeners don't even try to remember these names

and definitely don't try to Understand this chain. We don't even understand it. I have a friend and her colleague had a very strange experience. She had booked tickets to go to Paris by train with her husband. They have a dog and they cross the Louis Vuitton shop on the Chant-Lise. While they were walking, the dog collapsed. What the hell should you do with a dead dog in Paris? And then suddenly there's this guy on a motorbike who was crossing them

and he took the bag out of their hands with their dog. Yeah, that's the story. That's what happened to the colleague of a friend of mine. Wow. Any other details about the size of the dog or the color? It was a mid-sized dog. But, yeah, it was quite a big dog because you need a big bag. But luckily, Louis Vuitton has these bags

because they also sell like major suitcases, right? We'll be finding that out shortly. We're going to go to the Louis Vuitton store after this and demand that we buy a paper bag from them. We're then going to test different weighted dogs in the bag to see if it really can. In Vondel Park. Yeah, in Vondel Park to actually, you know,

withstand the weight at speed on a moped and at what level, what kilogram level it would break. But we've got to do it all of it. this without being arrested. But maybe if this podcast will be a success, then Louis Vuittal will be maybe sponsoring it, right? Maybe you could even get a sponsor deal. Well, I think it's more likely to be a class action lawsuit. So, Giselle, how many handshakes away from the dog owner do you think you are? You said it was Heidi's colleague, so it's literally two people away. You're within sort of touching distance of the dog's owner.

That's what I thought when I heard the story. I've been reflecting on it because I think the story is only a good story when you keep your source a bit close by. If you just say, I've heard this story and then without mentioning a source or how nearby a source is, it doesn't make the story as juicy. The problem of this story is that everyone decided to keep their source two handshakes away. because then it's a good story and so when I heard it I thought I was two handshakes away

currently I think if there is a dog owner I think it's very far away Oh no You said you spoke to Heidi yesterday so what did she say about it who did she hear it from

she heard it from Emma and Emma heard it from her sister Peter I'm extremely concerned about something, Giselle. And I don't think you mentioned the Olympics. The Olympics?

No, I didn't mention the Olympics. Oh. Why? Because Oh. Yanaka, Leina, Encaro's version of the story. Wall involves the reason

the price is being high in Paris is because of the couple who were going to Paris, around the time of the Olympics. Oh, yeah, I can't recall that element of the story. Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Any other information from this story about the dog owners, what they're into?

Is there any detail in the story about the dog owners? No, not that I know. Because the other element that is part of the story, another detail is that they're climate activists. Oh, that's a good element. But you don't know it. But your friend, so you call it. Caro believes that they were climate activists.

So that means you told her that. I can't recall that element. Every time it goes to a new person, there's a new element that's added. Janaka added the sneeze. Leina added the heart attack. Half attack, yeah. Karol added the fur touch and the climate activists. We change, like, we don't change, but we set certain parts depending on our audience.

Giselle tells us about a little conversation that her and Caro had before an event. And she said, oh, before you come, know that I told the story and I added an element being that the dog was vomiting. And she asked me to go with that element of the story. Hang on, is there like there are like secretive conversations happening behind our backs to try and get your facts straight? This is outrageous. The details that do tally is that it's a Portuguese street dog.

That's a consistent theme throughout this. I'm very upset that the Paris Olympics has dropped off because that's been... It's really upsetting. So, I mean, every person in this chain feels a bit of ashamed, right? Because we've been lying a bit about the source, you know, because it's a fun story if you keep the source nearby. So I think we feel all a bit trapped. How do you want this story to end, Giselle?

I would really want to know how the dog owners are feeling now, whether they're okay. So you believe it's true? Yeah. Yeah, I do. If it is true, would you join us in some form for a virtual funeral for the dog? A memorial. A memorial service for Juel. Yeah.

Yeah, I'll be there. We're calling the dog Juel. Oh, I think that's a beautiful name. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you so much, guys, for finding out how this actually happened, when this happened, and what we can do to the dog owners to thank them for this very good story because it has given us many tears of joy, although it's a very sad story.

Thank you so much. You've come to the right detective team. She didn't come to us, Karen. We've forced her to talk to us. We'll get to the bottom of this for you. Thank you very much, guys. Thanks for the effort. Thank you so much, Jez-out. All right. Good day, bye, guys. Bye, guys.

Bye. Hi, can I just ask? Karen reaches out to the insider again. When did that Chomsalise store manager you spoke to actually start working there? The big update from our investigative venture is that this story actually had nothing to do with the Paris Olympics. And actually, the incident happened much, much earlier. Most likely in 2023 or even as far back as 2022. So we're desperate to know when your current Shomsalise store manager started working there

because if he only started working in 2024, he wouldn't have a memory of this incident. Is there any way you could help us one last time with this quest for the truth and ask the Shomsalise store manager when he started working there? Now we speak to Heidi, Giselle's friend. Her colleague was going on a holiday to Paris. Her colleague and her husband are nature lovers. and they asked someone to babysit, to dog sets the dog, so they could go to Paris. Suddenly, the dog hotel has just dropped out of the story,

and instead it's a person who was going to dog sit the dog. But they still refused to do that because the dog was a bit sick. Every day, every single day of their threat, the dog got sicker and sicker. Heidi tells us about Juel's gradually increasing sickness. This also implies that it's less about a weekend of the day. in Paris, because the dog is getting sicker and sicker across multiple days. And then on the certain moment that we're walking at the Champs de Lise, the dog just died. That's the story I heard from Emma.

Are you aware that they're also climate activists? No, no, I didn't know this detail, no. You've started there, I believe. That's on you, Heidi. You've claimed that they're nature lovers. That skipped a step. That skipped Giselle. and it's gone straight to carol

who's now calling them climate activists. So I think that part's on you. Do you know how recently this happened, this event? One of you heard the story, was it like a recent thing from these dog owners? Yeah, I had the feeling it happened that summer. Like it was about that summer holiday or I don't know, in June or May. How Emma told me that it just recently happened

because it was a holiday season. So not the Olympics. So not in the lead up to the Olympic. That's not a detail I heard of it. This is hilarious. It's actually really interesting as a social experiment just to see how like information really does naturally get passed on. I'm glad we're not in like an old school war where like this was a really important like message that had to like get conveyed to a sort of a front line of a war. Because it would not, it would not be the right message.

What are you aiming at? Like do you want to to get as close as possible to the real start? First of all, we're always aiming for the truth. That is what we are passionate about, is uncovering the truth. The issue was that we were under the impression that this happened just before the Olympics, so we thought we only had to track it back to the week before the Olympics. But now that part of the story is dropped out, which really pisses me off,

because I'm concerned we're going to be like investigating this for the rest of our lives, and I didn't really set out to do this with my life. We started this out believing we were two handshakes away. from the dog owners. We came wanting justice for this dog. So we could get closure for the dog owners. They can do a sort of farewell finally, knowing what happened to the dog.

Heidi, do you know what date you told Giselle? I told Giselle on the 17th of July on a Wednesday. Oh, my God. Every seven days it's getting passed on. On Wednesday. Oh, it's like a weird virus. Yeah. It is a virus.

An information virus. Oh, this is incredible. Next up, sisters Emma and Peter, numbers six and seven in the chain. Peter heard the story from a colleague and then told her sister Emma. We thought we were like two handshakes away from the dog owner, but then it turns out we just kept on speaking.

So it was like, oh no, it wasn't my friend. It was the colleague of a friend of a friend. And then we're like, okay, spoke to that person. Oh, no, no, no, it wasn't a colleague of a friend of a friend. It was this friend and then that sister and you're probably the number six person in the story, six and seven in the story. And so we are hoping that we're getting closer to the dog owners to actually find out what happened and actually start the original investigation that we were hoping for. Peter, you told Imer the story. Peter, who told you?

Well, I heard the story from my colleague. She heard it from my other colleague. The story came from her friend and he knows the owner. We might have found one of the dog owners. But the owner is not from the Netherlands. The owner is from London or something. But the owner is from London or something. What?

From England. No! Oh my God. Oh my God. This is never going to stop. The sisters believe that the sisters believed that they know who the dog owners are. They are friends with a man named Tony.

Not only are the owners of the dog British instead of Dutch, they are being cagey about speaking to us. Maybe they are just grieving this dog or something. I don't know. And that might be because they're still grieving the loss of their dog. This was my worst nightmare. I said about four people ago in this chain,

they said my worst nightmare is that it skips into another country because we reached the end of the line in the Netherlands and then I was like, oh no, someone in America told us this story and I was like, we're going to travel around the world to sort this case out. Are you from England? I live in England, yeah. Yeah, she loves here, so it potentially is right around the corner from where you love.

Exactly. I might know them. It'd be funny if it was Trey to speak to you. Peter, could you tell us everything you know about the dog? I heard that it was a bit of an older It was not that shiny anymore Oh like rugged Yeah

It should be a little bit bigger than a chihuahua maybe Are you aware that the dog was Portuguese? No Noted The dog is no longer Portuguese The dog has become British Okay wow, okay right Now it's British

We have to call him John I think John. The dog is called John now. Hi, Mario Line. Thank you so much for joining us today. Don't worry, listeners. We're nearly there. We're nearly at the end of the chain. We're now speaking to Mario Line. She tells us the story of the doggie bag. The details are consistent with the sisters, except for the fact that there were two men on the scooter. One was driving and the other one was swiping. At this stage, we are less concerned about the details of the story, but more about the

origin of it, because we are about to hear something very disturbing about the owners. And that's the story I heard from my friends, and he heard it from a girl who was friends with the girl whose parents owned a dog. Wait, what? Sorry, say that again soon. Tony, Tony is friends. His friend was living in Paris at the time, who we visited in Paris, her friends was friends with a girl whose dad dog was stolen. I can't even work that out. I don't have the mental capacity to work that out. So Tony had a friend who lives in Paris, who he went to see,

and that person has a friend who lives in the States who had the dead dog. Can't believe they're from the US. I thought they were British. The dog owners are not Dutch, not British, they are American. This story is crossing three countries now. What the fuck? yeah right when are we going to stop

when are we going to go right that's enough everyone's having us on I just do you know what once it leaps country I feel like Tony is going to be

a weak link in the actual details of this story and I feel like it's going to change quite dramatically when we change country sorry

what are we going what are we what's happening now we basically have got a simple objective that we need to get a the largest louis Vuitton shopper carry a bag yeah so we can see if it is even big enough for even a small to mid-sized dog to fit in then we need to find an available dog that is willing to be put in a bag then we need to taste out that if it's strong enough if it's feasible ideally we can find a moped someone that has a moped to do a reconstruction with something that weighs between five to seven kilos and see if it would actually be easy to manoeuvre and steal that from someone's

hand. We've got to leave in five minutes. First of all, is this a good use of our 24 hours? I don't know, because we've got to walk there because we don't have bikes. Yeah, it takes 30 minutes to walk there. And are we even going to get into the Louis Vuitton store because there's security at these kinds of places? and we're wearing undercover microphones.

I know. And we're wearing ties. So it's not very luxury. Given that we don't really know what else to do here, we're waiting on the rest of the chain right now. I think we should probably do it. It'll be useful to have a Louis Vuitton bag to just assess. How are we going to walk into the Louis Vuitton store

and get a bag for free or a very small payment? So my thought was I was going to walk in, looking like I belong as a potential buyer in Louis Vuitton, as in the world of luxury brands. If you or y'all have got any Balenciaga type things, I'll wear my nice watch, I've got a Gucci bag, I can wear. So I'll be like, oh, okay, look at this potential customer coming in. You'll get over the barrier of security. I'll go straight up and maybe I can even get a bag from one of the other stores, so it looks like I've already been shopping. Oh, yeah, you've got money to spend.

money to spend and maybe like have a credit card peaking out of your back pocket or something and my ploy was to go straight up to the desk be a bit flappy and in a hurry and to say hi there i know this is a really strange requests i've got a daughter who's doing an art project at school where and i'm collecting um luxury bags for her because she's trying to recreate um luxury bags in um as clay sculptures it would be so helpful to her for her school project if i could get one of the largest bags from your store is if there's any way it'd really make my daughter so happy. Yeah, I like there a lot. Because no one can say no to a child. The thing I'm most worried about, I could definitely do this story and I have no concerns about.

So the concern I have is that I will be wearing a hidden mic. And you know where that has to go in a tie? In a fucking tie. This is when we need like proper spy equipment. Oh, fuck it, who cares? If they call you out for wearing an undercover microphone. For what am I, what's my problem? Like, I'm just asking for a nice free bag for my kid. This is make or break. I have to look weird and quirky. So I think, you have to look rich.

So, and can I just wait outside? I think, yeah, it's got to be a one-person thing, I think. Oh, thank fuck. Well, shall I just wait here then? And you go, fuck no. You're going to have to come in the shop. We're not going to be together, but you can just be browsing. You can be browsing and just there for moral support.

You're not often. I'm not going to go and browse in Louis Vuitton. Oh, look so unnatural. Do they have like a sock section? That's the other thing. If this fails, then you can be the backup and you can buy some socks, the cheapest thing that they've got in the store. How am I going to be like, can I have that in a large bag?

Yeah, yeah, that's true. They're going to be like, here's a tiny little bag for your small sock that you've just bought. The thing is, this has to be done. Like, I don't see any way around. I don't see how we can progress the case without going into Louis Vuitton and requesting a bag. so we have to do it, so let's go. Commence undercover operation, phase one, conceal Karen's hidden microphone. I've only got one shirt.

I was just going to, it doesn't really go anywhere the tie, it's like not really fitted for a tie, but. Oh no, Karen. No, no, I think you're going to have to wear a bow tie because that's darker than the tie. I'm not wearing a bowtie. You have to wear a bow tie. There's no fucking way I'm wearing a bowtie. Why not? Let's just try the tie first.

No, because I promise it's going to be... It's too obvious. You look like a clown. You look like an actual clown. Can we just change the tone of it that I'm actually taking a huge one for the team? And I just appreciate you to like support what I need a bit more right now. You look... I'm going to look...

Trust me when I say you look like a clown. Oh. Put the bow tie on and let's see how it's better that looks. how it works better that looks. Oh my God, I've never seen you look more alarming. I look like a fun mum. I think this could be quite a quirky. I look quirky.

I look really fucking quirky. Of course this is not going to look great. Try the bowtie. But where's the how am I going to hide the wires? It's a screaming clown. I'm not. This is so fun for me because I know I don't have to worry about it. Where's just wire going to go?

Do you think they're going to really love seeing a bit of wire poking out? And then what do I do? I go like this. You do what you've done before? It goes inside the shirt? So because, yeah, inside the shirt. and then when we have a tie it goes through some of the buttons

and then it goes up the fucking tie because it's hidden behind the long tie and then it wraps around it's at the top of the shirt. Yes, but okay, let me show you how are we going to do this and hide this really, really, really well. So it's going to go...

First of all, we're going to try. That's what the first thing we're going to do is actually try this and give it a go. Actually, it's better than I thought. Oh my God. Honestly, some of the drama that you... Well, no, yeah.

Okay, can you attach it in a way that... Just let me, okay, if I could just get, first of all, can I tie to next? Oh my God, you're really annoying me today. Just make it work. Why are your mum wearing a fucking bow tie? Issue I have is that I'm wearing a fucking bowtie that says, look at me. Yeah, look at my bowtire.

It's like if you have like a titty top and you're like, let me just put my tips out there. You're trying to like direct attention to your tits. Like my bow ties. Yeah, I know how clavage works. Okay, should we just get this so you're done with? I'm not feeling good about this, though. I'm feeling very good about it. Target located, ETA 240 seconds.

Initiate phase two, penetrate Louis Vuitton. And to truly appreciate just how questionable Karen looks right now, have a look at the evidence on Instagram at Hushat on the floor at my wedding. We're four minutes away. Lauren, what? Did you see that man's face as he looked? at me. People are smirking.

That woman just gave you the weirdest look. You're not making me feel better. Yeah, sorry. Can I have a bit of support right now? Okay, you look great. And colorful and fun and fruity. Fun mum. You look like a fun mum.

Tabby is going to be, oh no, Gemma. Gemma. As lucky to have you as her mum. Never had anyone look at me like that before. No, I'm feeling really sick. Let's cross here. Okay, we're three minutes away. Absolutely horrendous.

Yeah, it's just the next right, isn't it? Oh no. I think you can do this, Karen. If anyone can do this, it's you. Oh no, now you're being supportive. Fuck. It's coming up. There's Prada. I can't see it. It's coming up very close.

Karen. What? What? Here it is. Okay, I'm just going to do it really quickly. I'm just charging. Charging heads. I'll see you in there.

Up next. bag part two. They're not open to talk. They're closing the door. But why exactly? Yeah, you've got to know, I'm a journalist myself, so I'm also trying to make links here. It's the only thing that has remained consistent, Tony.

The only thing, and you have just broken the one red thread that we have with this entire crime. You, he has no idea how much people want to get to the bottom of this, so we're just going to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. We are here today to all. honour the life of a very special creature. A bag was his coffin, Couture his goodbye,

orange and branded beneath the Parisian sky. I think there's a lot more to this case even than we know now. I was waiting for this moment. I have a lot to lose. Everyone is lying to us. Everyone is fucking with us. Do you not understand? This is so bizarre.

Oh my God. Thank you.