Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? And Other Crimes - S3 E9 Rural Rectal Rampage - Part One

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

The quiet streets of Chipping Norton are no longer at peace. A phantom prankster - or an organised ring of pranksters - is targeting local stores and tagging innocent household items with stickers that say “for rectal use only.”As the town’s elderly residents grow increasingly distraught, the pressure mounts on Detective LK and KW to put an end to the madness. Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenes.
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Every town has its secrets. Every town has its crimes. And this one. This town I'm in right now is no exception. But here, the story doesn't begin with a stranger. It begins with one of our own. Karen. I live in Chipping Norton, and I've lived here for a little while.

For people that don't know, Chipping Norton is a very quaint little town in the middle of the beautiful Cotswolds, which is an air of outstanding natural beauty in the United Kingdom. It's got this lovely old tweed mill that used to be famous for making wool back in the 19th century. And it's just a very small, quaint town. Got a lot of retirees. It's where the old grannies and grandpas go to live there, you know, the last years in the beautiful surroundings. It's not the kind of place where you would see something very offensive.

I was scrolling through the Facebook group, which is the Chipping Norton Village Notice board Facebook group. And on the 4th of December, 2003, I saw this post. It was a picture of a cucumber. And on the cucumber is a orange rectangular sticker that says for rectal use only. The caption says, who's been pranking at the local supermarket? Are there any more stickers about? I piped up going, if anyone sees any more examples, could you send me pictures? And then someone else popped up a woman called Terry. And she went, oh, it was done over the local store where I work too, all over different products. Something alarming has been happening in the store where I work.

Someone has been putting rude stickers on the candles. And then someone else responded going, it isn't the first of its kind, and then posted a picture of a pepperami, which is a small little sausage in a packet. Got a pepper army here with a rectal use-only sticker on it. So I went, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, so there's been a rural rectal rampage going on around my local town. They were just sticking them everywhere. Rice or stickers on, obogees, cucumbers, corgettes, wine bottles, bleach bottles, loop.

All sorts of vegetables, febreeze cans, broom handles, gardening tools, Dr Pepper, tins of hot dogs, anywhere you could and couldn't even imagine. offending, I can imagine, a lot of the elderly population of this local town. The old people here will be absolutely distraught when they see something like that. Or they'll think it's an instruction and insert it themselves. This is Rural Rectal Rampage Part 1. In any investigation, we begin with the evidence. But here, the evidence isn't fingerprints.

It isn't DNA. It's something far strange. Rectal stickers. And to understand this case, we're going to have to get very, very close. So that is a sticker that is orange. And yeah, there's a picture of a bum. But instead of a bare bum,

it's a bum with denim hot pants on it. It looks quite official, except for the hot pants. How big are these stickers? It's kind of hard to see. Look at the paparami. Oh, they're tiny little stickers. They're tiny, aren't they? Talk us through the Facebook piece.

Karen Whitehouse, if anyone sees more examples, send me pics. I run a true crime comedy podcast. That's a bit. And considering taking on this case to investigate, people are laughing. The effort some people go to, that's you that's done like a crying face gif, but you posted it as a still rather than a moving gif.

So that removes the impact of a gif. I really didn't want to open up my technological social media etiquette on this episode. But we're here now. We're here now. So thanks for just broadcasting that. Karen Whitehouse, Aiden. So you're just like jumping on every single post. So yeah, should I just let the connections go with...

No, no, it's good. I like what you're doing. I'm just really concerned about this GIF link. Basically what you did is you sent a link to a GIF. So people would have to leave that post. Look at this. People don't know, look at this. I'm really embarrassed.

about it. We don't need to go there. We don't need to. Look, watch me click on that. And it takes you out to Giffy. And it's laughing on Giffy. It's a two-step process. You're actually diverting people away from the post, which is what you absolutely should not be doing. Do you know what it is? Clickbeat.

For Giffy. And also, like, Facebook has the functionality that you can comment with an emoji. You don't need to add your own link to an external GIF emoji. Let's take this offline. This case, is officially open.

Time is ticking. The 24 hours speed solving countdown to crack this case starts now. Countdown initiated. 24 hours left on the clock. 24 hours. Also known as one day. In this story, everything begins and ends with Karen. For her, this isn't just a podcast investigation.

This is about finding out the truth for the members of her community and gaining a good reputation, i.e. showing off. The issue is that Karen's credibility is already under fire. Ever since she committed a digital crime by posting a link to a GIF which resulted in a still screenshot of said GIF on the Digital Community Notice Board of all places. While this evidence isn't directly related to the incident we're investigating, from my perspective, it's more important.

You can view it on our Instagram page at Hooshat on the floor at my wedding. Our mission today. Find out who has been planting these stickers that all appear to be on phallic-shaped objects in stores all over Chipping Norton. This is more than just a crime. This is a story about reputation and community. Can Karen clear her name and find justice for Chipping Norton

or will she only be remembered for the still Giff? It's time to find out. Step one. Go to the local store one of the crime scenes and speak to the manager. Her name's Terry. I think we have to go and chat to her now. Right now. All we've got is this Facebook post. It's just before lunchtime. Perfect. Lunch break. Step two. Go to the local supermarket where the pepperami incident occurred.

It's a massive supermarket with so many people working there. So we've just got to try and track down someone that happened to be working in December 2003. And can I just go out to a couple of them, just try this? Hi, I'm Detective Lauren Kilby and I'll flash that rectal use only sticker on a cucumber and get their reaction. What is the definition of flashing?

No, like flash my phone. No, I know, but also you're flashing a phallic object. Might as well just send them a dick pick. I don't think a digital flash is inappropriate. Oh, so a digital flash is fine. So if you just flash a dick pick, that's fine. But if you get your actual todger out. Yeah, but it's like a salad.

I'm essentially flashing a salad. It's a cucumber. There's nothing wrong with it. This is where I live. I have to go into this supermarket and this shop on a weekly basis. So I'm not sure I even want to digitally flash phallic objects. I think you got caught up on the word flash. I'm going to digitally show a picture of a cucumber

that happens to have a sticker on it that says for retail use only. Just so you can understand where I'm coming from. No, I get it. It's a place. You live here, whatever, blah, blah, blah. Reputation, I don't care. If I came into your office of work, and I went to your boss and I just digitally flashed this at your boss,

Stop saying digitally flash. How would you feel? Just say show. No, it's, you've made this. My boss would enjoy this. My boss, she'd love it. So don't worry about her. Please.

Normally I don't want to get involved in this shit and I make you do it all. Why can't you just let me? Because I just want to go in and just go up to a random person who's stocking cucumbers. My name's Detective Lauren Kilby. Can I just check?

Have you seen this before? And flash my digital image. Flash the gift you sent of the stuff. smiling face that's not moving that links out to giffy.com and ask if they've seen this before. Let me do it. I'm 100% we'll let you do that. Yeah, I promise.

Initiate phase one. Infiltrate the retail store where Terry works to get a witness statement. Okay, we're strolling down the street in Chipping Norton. We're about to go into a store here. Okay, I'm going to put the microphone down slowly so it doesn't look obvious. Go in. Ask the manager. I speak to the manager.

Anyway, let's just charge in without our only plan. Yep, let's swing it. Are you going to just have the microphone out? Well, I'll just hold it down because it doesn't look. She looks like a bag or something. Karen pounces on a shop assistant and asks if Terry is working. I'll go and see. Thank you.

Oh, yeah, two ladies to see you. How do you? I'm first, thank you. We're talking if there was a bit moment for a day to judge here. How long did it take? Ten minutes? Yeah, ten minutes. Yeah.

Terry guides us through the store, into the back area, and then directly into the staff room. We obviously don't want to disrupt your workplace. It feels like we need to shut the store for a few hours. Exactly. We just take over the staff room, yeah. You witnessed some rude stickers on phallic objects at your store. Can you tell me what happened? So we had Dr Pepper bottles, candles and cans of air freshener.

And you were the manager of this shop, so you are very important, and someone brought this information to you. What did you say to them when you were told? I was quite shocked, frankly. It was quite weird, but not appropriate for a store with families. So we quickly went around and we removed them all. So you were concerned about the children? Yes. And the elderly.

Because they wouldn't understand it. They would think that we would probably put them on there and obviously we didn't want that reputation. Did anyone lay eyes on those stickers before you managed to remove them all? Or did you do that before the shop doors opened? No, we were open when they were found. So I'm not sure if the members of the public saw them.

And were the stickers quite difficult to remove or was it easy? They were quite difficult. They were really stuck on there. And how long did this? actually happened for it's only a day well well it happened for a few days because we kept finding them on one day and then you keep finding them on different products and stuff so it probably went on for about a week but in your your gut feeling do you think this was just um one the perpetrators came in and just did one sort of splurge of these stickers yeah

rather than over motion we just assumed it might be kids messing about did you ever check CCTV do you have security. We have got CCTV but of course we don't know when it happened all the time or date. I'd be sitting there for hours going through all of that. Is it feasible for me to get access to your security camera footage from that time? No. It won't be there now. Delated. Yeah. And in your opinion what kind of crime do you think this is? Nuisance. Nuisance behaviour. Yeah. And we call something like this reverse theft. I would say this one would be rectal, reverse theft. Oh my God.

And Terry. Do you have any leads? I need leads. I'm wanting to go to anyone's house. I'm willing to trespass. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to crack this case for Chipping Norton for the local community here. I don't even live here, but yeah, I'm dedicated to this case.

I'd start at the high school. Those kids at that school are absolutely awful. They're a pain in the ass. They had just got no manners, no respect, no nothing. What age group do you think actually did this? Early teens? Yeah. 13, 14.

Are there any other objects that these stickers were on that you particularly remember that we haven't discussed? Handles. Hot dogs. To pepper. Air freshener. Terry tells us that the person who found the stickers originally is actually working today.

His name is Derry. What's Derry doing? What's his job here? He's a sales system. So he's probably at the teller. So you're just have to turn those customers away. So Terry asks Derry to come into the staff room. Derry, Derry, Derry.

Detective Morin Kilby. Assistant to the Detective Karen Whitehouse. Well, can you say that's your idea? No. You want me to let the know that you're unavailable? Have a seat. What do you know about these fractal stickers? They're in old places like Dr. Pepper and anything sharp.

and anything sharp, garden tools, anything they could fit. Anything they could fit where? I don't understand. Where the sticker wants it to go. Okay Derry. What happened when you discovered the first sticker? Doing some home wear bits. And we walked around the corner we just see some ragdoll stickers on some like mops. You wouldn't expect it at all.

And did you immediately think it was someone in the... We called it as some kids because it was around the school time. What do you mean around the school time? When kids come in and rate the suites. What time is that? It's about half three, isn't it? Yeah, it put glass up as three. Do you feel that you found the stickers on the exact day that they were deposited?

So it's over two days, three days, isn't it? And then you get the odd one just hidden somewhere. So when you found these around like 3.30, that actually on reflection had nothing to do with when the stickers were placed, because that you think that you found them a couple of days after? Yeah, we found it through that week. I know some items actually went away out of the shop with them on, because we didn't notice at that time. So there could still be some objects out there.

out there in Chippin Norton with those stickers on them. Because the average age of Chipping Norton is, I would say, 65 plus. So the likelihood is we've, you know, that elderly grandma has just potted out with the, you know, innocent bottle of Febrize, only to be shocked. The problem is what if she does get that home, this lovely old grandma, maud, and she gets at home and she sees for rectal use only and she actually thinks that's an instruction. What happens then? Dearie and teary. Tell me.

Well, she might get some pleasure out of it, you don't know. We just want to have one liner from you about how you have been affected personally, emotionally, as a victim. I can't look at anything that is shaped in any way like a penis. Even looking at my partner just sends me into meltdown because it has scarred me for life. It's ruined your romantic life. It has. You can never look at another penis again. the penis again. That is a real...

Without some sort of sticker on it. Yeah, also you want the sticker to be on it. You're actually, you'd prefer a penis as a sticker. Well, I'd rather not, because I've seen so many stickers, it's like, oh my god, that's all I see. Every time you see a penis, you imagine a sticker on it. Yes. I just want you to be able to make love to your partner and not worry about stickers. I

did I cross the line yeah I'm she's leaving she's been after an effective staff meeting that may or may not have ended with me going a step too far

Karen and I are off yeah we'll keep you outdated thank you very much thank you and sorry thank you Gary thank you very initiate phase two the local supermarket

Karen asks the manager if Aiden is working. It's a bit of a long shot but we really hope he is because he is the one who posted the photo of the Peper Army. Yeah, from here. Oh, he's into this. He's on break at the minute. Oh, my God, amazing. Go and speak to him.

What times is break finishing? He might come up and take it later. He treats him really nice. He cancelled his way for us. We've literally struck gold, but he's here right now. Hang on five minutes. He's halfway for his sandwich. Oh, no.

Just put that sandwich down. Give me your earpiece and I'll tell him. He's coming up now. That was a joke about him canceling his sandwich. No, he's coming up now for you. How special are you guys? Do you have a staff room here? Yeah.

Take us for the staff writer for the. We thrive in staff rings. Hello, Aiden. Are you happy to speak to us because we'd be so grateful? Sure, not like I remember any of it. Sorry. Sorry.

I work here now. Yeah. See you at the staff meeting. This is so good. And ironically, on the back of your shirt it says happy to help. And you actually are happy to help. Sometimes. Staff only.

That music's quite. Oh yeah, the music. We can go outside quickly, good way. It might be better to turn the opener. How do we get outside? We're trapped. Not trapped. No, sorry.

Aiden is leading us to the back of the supermarket. He's taking us down a floor. of stairs and we suddenly realised that the store we were just in has access to the staircase too. The star fire escape comes up there and out of here. I love it. I used to work out there, that's why I know. Oh wait, so when did you stop working there? January 23.

Do you not think it's a little bit interesting that the two faces and shiffy there are affected by this? Are linked through you? No, it's a private room. You are in a staircase. We are currently by the bins outside the delivery entrance. You can probably hear the rumbling of the latest deliveries of milk and God knows what else. Thank you for joining us in this bizarre situation.

We are investigating a crime that's happened in the local area of which you are actually the original person that put this on our radar. Do you recognise this picture? Karen digitally flashes the photo of the cucumber with the rector-only sticker on it. Yes, I do. Yeah, so I think I replied to that actually Because I think I saw it on pepper ravi's I was on the tills that it came through

I was like, the hell's that about? I just took a picture of it And I saw that post I was like, okay, sure, reply to it Why not? Did you see this sticker on anything else? That's the only time I saw it, I think, at all, yeah So you were beeping it through to give to a customer

Yeah, who was trying to buy it Yes With that sticker on it Yes And you asked the customer, wait, I need to take a photo of this Yes Who do you suspect is this? the perpetrator of this crime?

If I had to give any answer, I'm Pinky. Who sucks Pinky? A local man called Pinky. He goes around all the shops. He'll buy scratch cars and whatever, but everyone loves him. He's like really hilarious guy. Sort of thing he would do.

I don't know if it was him, but that's the only person that would come to my mind if I had to pick anyone. If I could get your number and we can be WhatsApp buddies, I feel like right now we've already crossed the boundary of friends. If you next see Pinky, if you get a sighting of Pinky come in, Could you text me going?

Yeah. The pinky has landed. Because I live in Chippy, so we can easily, and you're here for the next couple of days. Okay. Add to contact. Okay, so I'm going to text you straight after this recording, and I'm going to say this is assistant to the detective Karen Whitehouse. And then, why don't you? I was going to say, I was going to say you should probably send me an obojean emoji.

But that's fat. Fucking weird. I'm 19. That's fucking weird. Oh, yeah, okay. Definitely don't do that. Yes. Karen!

What the reason being? Why it came to my mind is that the rectal stickers were not just rectangular orange stickers. There were a lot of obergene stickers. So I was just thinking, well, maybe it's just a quick emoji that you can send to us. That's why I sent through the obergeen. I'm not even going to comment on what just happened, but I am going to tell you about these obergene stickers. During the staff meeting in the previous store,

we found out that there were other stickers placed on items. It wasn't just the stickers that said for rectal use only. There were also obergene stickers. Obergene? Yeah, the stickers. Some of them were obergene's. Yeah. What do you mean obergene?

Obogene stickers? Or stuck on obergene stickers? Do you know what an obergene shape means, Karen? Yes, I do. Okay, just checking. I would just send a pink doll. Yeah. Pinky, okay, we need to get our hands on pinky.

Do not send him. I'm going to... It's an appropriate emoji. Just like a thumbs up or something? All of your recent emojis are sick. I'm going to wait. Oh, it doesn't matter. Just me. No, I know. I'm panicking now. I'm going to do party. Party.

Party. There we go. As soon as you've seen that pink dot, block her number. Thank you and sorry. Thanks, Aiden. Get back to your place. We've had two witness reports from the two stores. Yes. And then we don't have any leads or anything to go from.

or we've got are what the stickers look like, what kind of objects they appeared on, and when. This could have spanned quite a few different stores. We don't even know the extent of it yet. We need to quickly get more information. Being the local resident here, there's only a few options that we can do. Number one, the Village Notice Board Facebook group, where this case was originally reported.

And where Karen posted that still GIF. I think we need to post immediately on that now, requesting information. There is also this really amazing Facebook group, which I'm obsessed with, which is called Spotted in Chipping Norton. So I think that's also a good one. They're the two main Facebook groups. Facebook groups. So should I put the cucumber photo or the Piperami photo? Cucumber. Cucumber. Okay. Cucumber. Right, okay, perfect. Does anyone know any any of these? Information. Right, sent. We've got to approve that post. We need to wait until the admin does that. Now what? Now I think

we need to sit together. What? I think I've been banned from the group where I just posted. What I mean banned? They've rejected my post. They've rejected my post and I'm no longer a member. It's the next morning. At the supermarket last night a staff member mentioned another witness to the crime.

Megan. She wasn't working yesterday but today she is. So we need to make our way back to the supermarket to find out what she knows. And how bad was it? How many items and how many stickers did you... Oh, because it was across a certain period of time. They'd, like, do a lot of the same products. So, like, cucumbers, they'd have done a lot of the cucumbers.

And then, oh, easily, like, 50 a time. I'd imagine. It's time. So it was multiple... They were just sticking them everywhere. Wine bottles had some of them on there. Yeah, they'd put it on, like, loo bottles and stuff. But they would have done it at nighttime,

because that's when, like, you've got the least amount of star. Or, like, first thing in the morning when no one would have noticed them. Do you know a person called Hinky? Yeah. Do you think Hinky could be a suspect? No. Do you know any local children? Yeah, but they're more like shoplifting.

So what are we going to do? We should probably ask the police if they've got any suspects for us. You could ask the local PCOs, see if they had any sex. They're like, not fully police. That's perfect. That sounds like us. Yeah, not fully detectives. From one not fully police to another.

Yeah, they're like, they can arrest you. They might be able to like hold you, but they don't know if they can arrest you. They might be able to, like, hold you. all of our leads are coming back with nothing. The only thing we have is that it might be a couple of school kids or a random local man called Pinky. Karen decides that we need help. We are recruiting our very first undercover agent,

a local legend called Sean. Hello, Sean. Hi. Karen tells him about our podcast in some of the cases that we've been investigated. One of which is based in Shipping Norton. Right. I've got a sort of favour to ask,

and I would like to offer you the position of undercover agents. If you would consider, you know everyone, you're so well connected, casually drop in the old rectal sticker story and just see if anyone has any info for us, all on the download, obviously. You can't let people know that you're, working for us, just thought you might be able to get us some leads, mate. Well, if it's something I could do sort of casually in the pub or after choir or just generalisation

of, have you seen those stickers? That's fine. That would be absolutely fine. I don't think I've got any time to go sort of searching and researching stuff. No, I'm not asking, I'm definitely not asking you to quit your job and work for free, although that is an option. and if you really enjoy this, we can definitely discuss the terms of that.

It will definitely be unpaid, but it'll be very rewarding. So considering I have had half-full appointments after me, and I'll say yes. It is our absolute honour to announce our very first undercover agent, Sean. His unwavering courage and inability

to say no to Karen are two reasons why we appreciate him. He steps forward, ready to embrace the mission that lies ahead. And while I have your attention, I must inform you that our crime-solving window has been extended, because there's no way this case can be cracked in 24 hours when you have zero leads. But because I am saying this alongside this epic and very distracting music, you won't mind in the slightest, and you'll definitely not think we're shit detectives. Anyway, back to business.

Any second now, undercover agent Sean is going to arrive, and he's going to report back if he has any leads from going to the pub on St Patrick's Day and see what they know. Okay, that's all I've got to say. That's him. This is... Hi, Sean. Undercover agent, Sean.

Hello. Hi. Hi. How are you? Hi. I'm Lauren. Hi, Lauren. Nice to meet you.

What do we ask you to do? To go and find out if anyone had any recall on the red stickers, that said for erectile use only, they'd been attached to certain shaped objects. Shape like what? Um, trunchons. Maybe a bit shorter. Yeah, yeah.

A short truncheon. A truncheon, mini truncheon. Cute, yeah. Or a cock. But initially, I totally forgot. Because it wasn't really... Wasn't your priority? No.

So I did. forget initially. But then I did remember and I did start asking when I was in the pub after people had a few pints. Oh. Do you guys ever remember something about these little red stickers that had been put on cucumbers and aubergines and it said for erectile use, for rectal, for rectal use only. Rectal. Rectal. Rectal. See what you want to see. Yeah. And they were like, no, but I think someone started again. So apparently

A couple of them said They had seen a couple of stickers recently Oh my God, recently Yeah, that's what they said And then I wanted to quiz them a bit further And then more drinks arrived And you forgot again No, I didn't, it just became a lower priority

It was after four and a half points So do you remember exactly what the phrasing was I think one of them said I think I've seen one of those recently And the other one went Yeah, me too There might be some more out there That's awful because that's definitely because of us.

If it's happened in the last month, we have caused this crime because they've seen the notice that we've put in the newsagent shop and all of our many Facebook posts, and they've started doing it again. It gives me a bit of motivation. We've inspired a whole new generation of perpetrators as what we've just done. That's why the police tend not to post things on Facebook groups. Do you have their contact details who saw this? Who was it?

Sure, this is pretty basic. Sean, pretty basic. No, I know who it was. It was teaked of 101 right down the name. It was, da, da, and... And what age are we talking? So, Martin must be in his 60s. And Alfred is definitely in his late 40s.

I am very pleased that you've come back with some information. It might be utter nonsense, I don't know. But you have been a good boy. Thank you. You've done a good job. You were our first, Andy Caval. agent and this gives us actual hope for the future when we like to outsource tasks that we can be bothered doing ourselves. I don't want to sound ungrateful here. I don't want it to come

across like that. However, I just feel like this doesn't fully count as one one job. One mission. I think when you've found someone that knew something about this, but you didn't ask where, you didn't ask when. Why? Why? What? The Wos. I didn't feel like I had. I didn't feel like I how to explain the W's to you. It was after four and a half points. We can only release him from this job because he thinks he's done now, he's not off the hook until we actually get access to this.

No, no, you're still here. I just bit the hook and now I'm being pulled in. So are Martin and Alfred friends of yours? Yes. Do you have their numbers? Yes. So we can obtain permission via you to contact these two people.

Yes, in theory. For a light chat, just a friendly, friendly chat. Just to sum up next steps, you're going to go to choir, you're going to sing like an angel. Always. You're going to go back to the pub. You're not going to get to over four points of Guinness before you speak to Martin and ask him for the information of where he saw the stickers and when. And you're going to text me just the answers to the Ws.

I think I can manage that. The other reason I've invited this lovely man here to be our undercover agent is you're literally the most well-connected person. I don't think so. But we need to find access to like, I would say, what's our like target group, like 18-year-old type kids? 18 to 21, I would say, because it's two years from the last time or recent. So actually, I would say like 16 to 21-year-olds would be optimal. Yeah. What would your...

But we don't have access. to children. What do you need? We want to recruit our first undercover child agent, basically. Teenage agent. Teenage agent. Child sounds more alarming. Teen agent.

Teen agent. Yeah. We just need a little teen agent. Yeah. I might have someone in mind. Would you be able to... I'll inquire. I'll inquire via the mother.

I think you should be out for it. Commencing search for undercover teenage. Accessing Teen Agents What's the strangest thing that you've ever seen up to someone's bomb? In person? I mean. I don't know, whether it's Facebook or like weird online things where you'll get an x-ray and it'll be like someone's like, there's a toy car up someone's ass or something weird like that.

And you're like, how the hell did that get there? Well, normally they slipped on it. It's the normal reasoning behind it. is I slipped. I slipped and I fell and my sphinx was so perfectly... And my pants were down. And the right velocity.

Yeah, my pan, my denim hot pants were off and I slipped and I fell. My rectum just perfectly perpendicularly fell on... And sucked it in two inches. This toy car that happened to be on the floor. I don't know. I can't think of anything at the moment. We can ask the nurse that later. Yeah.

Because she would have seen some things. Yeah, we're going to ask a nurse, a local nurse, if they've seen an increase in... Number of... Insertions. Yeah. Yeah. God, it's really questionable what we do.

Sean, thank you very much for joining our team. Lovely to meet you. Look forward to the next case we collaborate on. Thank you so much. No problem. And I will text you this evening. Push them for a little bit more info. I totally forgot.

I mean, look, happens to the best of us. But as long as you know now to prioritize, you what? A novice. Yeah, exactly. We can only speak much from you. Just your willingness to help us for free. I think something quite big has just happened. You know that spotted in Shipping Norton Facebook post.

Yes. We've got some comments. I think someone might have just accidentally confessed. Because, you know, I said it's an anonymous group. Yeah. Well, it's anonymous only for the original poster, but the comments are not anonymous. And I have a very strong feeling

that the people, that responded to this post, thought it was all protected and anonymous when it's not. This woman called Eleanor just put the emojis, the shush emojis, and tagged her friend, Emily, as going, shh, shh, shh. Then Eleanor replied, again, going, oh, MG, laughing emoji, laughing emoji, laughing emoji, Defoe seen the sticker somewhere else, winky face. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Now I thought that was like

okay someone's got some like sexual antics in the bedroom and maybe they've put a sticker on their boyfriend's penis or something going I've definitely seen that sticker somewhere else it's not where I would have gone with it but that's where my head went and then Eleanor responds to that going I didn't realize they would get so much attention and then the sh emoji and then kiss kiss kiss kiss Emily responds, it's bloody brilliant.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Is this a harmless lull or a chilling giggle from the perpetrator? We need to contact them. Message now. Yeah, wait. This discovery fills the air with tension. The kind that could erupt into conflict at any moment. Wait, wait, wait.

Can you stop ordering me about? I really don't. Because it doesn't work when I go back. This could change everything. Have we just found the culprits? They're the perps. I think we're looking at the names of the perpetrators right now. Coming up next on Rural Rectal Rampage Part 2.

We are not going undercover at teenagers' party. Why? We're trying to make this community a safer place. We're trying to find the culprit, Karen. Well, it doesn't feel like that. It looks like we're doing a drug deal. It's because you've got tinned windows. Why can't you have a normal car?

I don't think I would get into a stranger's car. I'm pretty sure you're told not to do that. We need him to understand. urgency of this. I know he's helping us and I know we need to be careful how we treat people and I know he's a child who's 17 but we've got a crime to crack. This is getting out of harm this crime. If he gets detention it's on you. Do you want me to leave this or not? No. We need your help. Are you allowed to talk to us? Yeah. Yeah. Did you tell your teachers? Uh, we are brave. We are strong and we will solve this case.

Right, it's go time in one minute. I accept my role as undercover teenagers. I accept my role as undercover teen agent. It's our only hope. What? Oh my god, look at your email. God, I don't feel good about this. It's like me handing you a knife and then you go and kill someone. It's exactly like that.