WHOA That's Good Podcast - A Messy Conversation About Modesty | Sadie Robertson Huff & Korie Robertson

Episode Date: October 31, 2022

Sadie & Korie dive into the tricky topic of modesty. But first, what does "modesty" even mean? Is it a strict set of rules that must be followed about what you wear? Does it only refer to your outward appearance? Sadie shares three questions we should ask ourselves as we get ready for the day or to go out for the evening — but these questions can apply to EVERY part of our lives, not just how we dress. And "modesty" isn't just about ourselves but about how we treat others. Sadie talks about how hurtful it was to receive so much backlash from other Christians regarding what she wore on "Duck Dynasty" and "Dancing with the Stars." It ALL comes back to the heart!  https://lomi.com/whoa — Get $50 off your Lomi with code WHOA! https://vegamour.com/whoa — Get 20% off your first order! See your hair’s full potential with Vegamour  https://www.trymiracle.com/whoa — Get 40% off + 3 FREE towels with code WHOA at checkout! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh What's up sisters and friends happy Monday everybody welcome back You all I'm so excited to dive into this week's podcast because last time I have my mom on we talked about is it okay Biblically for Christians to get tattoos and we had such a great conversation just opening the word and just really Seeking the heart of Jesus over that topic And it was awesome so many of you all have dived in with us and love that and then I asked at the end Hey, if you have other questions that you want us to dive into that are maybe hard topics Maybe topics you've never understood please leave comments and we had so many comments of tons of different topics that we hope to get

To and we want to get to I think this is gonna be an ongoing series of just opening the word and trying to understand the heart of Jesus and conversations that might be hard to talk about. And so today we're actually gonna talk about modesty. A lot of you have brought up the topic of modesty and modesty is a really hard topic to cover. Actually, even when I was looking up modesty in the church, I wasn't really finding a lot of resources on YouTube.

I wasn't really finding actually my video popped up first that I did four years ago. And I was like, wow, I definitely didn't think my video was going to be the top one when you type in modesty in the church. But it was. And I was like, well, that's pretty cool because when I talked about modesty four years ago on a YouTube video Maybe we can link it somewhere that you can see it was about a four to five minute long video of me Just kind of sharing something that guy kind of builds me about modesty and I think that That hit for a lot of people because something I saw in the comments mainly was like well I like thank you for not shaming people who dress immodestly because a lot of times when people talk about modesty, it can come with a lot of shame for those who don't dress modestly or

it can come with almost just like a rude spirit or a judgmental spirit and that is not in any way shape or form the way that we want to present the topic of modesty and I actually think that that can be really dangerous in and of itself. And mom and I were talking about modesty the other day and we were like even us talking about it's like a messy conversation it's not perfect. We don't have all the answers it's not perfectly laid out or said and maybe even the best way but mom was like you know what like we should do this podcast even if we don't have the perfect thing to say, because even people listening to this conversation, I think is gonna grow as closer to the Lord

and grow as in a better understanding of this topic. And hopefully can change our hearts in some ways, you know, for what that looks like. And if you're someone who's Uber modest, maybe you can soften your heart towards those who are. And if you're someone who's not modest at all, maybe this will help you consider what it looks like to dress in a modest way and not even dress but represent modesty in your life. And that's what I talked about in that four to five minute video. It was more

like modesty is not so much of just what you wear, but it's what you represent. And I think that that's a lot of what we're going to talk about today. We're going to open the Bible once again. We're going to read what the Bible says. We're gonna read what the Bible says. We're gonna unpack that. And then we're gonna kind of talk about culture and also even take it to the definition of what modesty is by like Google. What is, what actually is modesty?

So I'm really excited. Mom, you wanna dive in just by starting with a scripture, but also just wanna say, you dress very modestly today. Thank you. I actually thought about it when I put this, I like, did not intend to like wear a turtleneck when we talk about modesty, but I put it on,

I was like, wait a minute, just subconsciously just choose a turtleneck today because of the scum I said, what is modesty? It's fall, it's the natural. And it's my style. This is my style. This is my style, right? This is style.

Okay, great, great, great. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, I love that we're talking about this. I do think that it is interesting. As we talked, you know, just at the house the other day, it was so interesting how we were like just kind of like all around it. We were just like, OK, there's no like, we don't know exactly what we're going to say on this podcast.

But let's just have this conversation publicly for other people to listen to you. And I think a part of what's good about that is in your comments and in people asking, like people are genuinely asking, and they're asking for a reason because they really wanna understand the heart of God. They wanna do what the Bible,

what God's word tells us to do. They wanna live in that way. And it's not because I wanna be just middle or I wanna be like try to get away with something or I want to, whatever. It's like, I actually want to understand the heart of God and this topic and this matter. And so let's have a conversation about it.

Let's see it. All right. I was thinking that if you grew up in the church at all, grew up in the youth group, there's one scripture in the Bible that you definitely heard. You definitely were read. You definitely, you know, it's like the go to modesty scripture. And as I was looking, I think it's really the only place that's first Timothy, and it's two, nine. All right, and it says, this is Paul, writing to Timothy, his son in the faith is what he said, and he's giving instructions for worship

and for the church, for the overseers and deacons and all that, and so he says this right here. I also want women to dress modestly with decency and propriety, not with brighted hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who prefer to worship God. And so I think a lot of times where we've gone with that,

at least I remember in youth group, where we went with that is like, oh, dress modestly, that means, you know, we're the turloneg, or don't wear this on suit. Make sure you wear a t-shirt and shorts, if you're wearing toys, you know, all this kind of thing.

But even when I was a teenager, I was like, but wait a minute, that's actually... Actually, yeah. Modestly, and then it goes on to explain kind of, what women dress modestly, what does that look like with decent-scented priority, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes. And if you look up the definition of modesty, it's not about wearing a turtleneck

or covering your whole body. It's really about like synonyms from modesty, or simplicity, things like, you know, not over, not over indulgence, not things like that. And actually, when you think about that way, I think, particularly for the American church, like, that can even be more challenging. Yeah. Because we're wearing jewelry right now. Yeah. I have on gold earrings, you know, sometimes I braid my hair. I love to braid my hair. Yeah, exactly. And so it's like, Oh, okay, like, what is he saying right

here? And I think like everything else, because Jesus always takes it back to the heart of the matter, what's the heart of the matter? And, and I think that's what we need to actually look at today. I wanted to read first Peter, because in first Peter 3, it also talks about this, but it's interesting because, so that was Paul talking, this is Peter. And they say kind of the same thing, essentially,

but what it says, it's talking about wives and husbands. And in first Peter 3, 3, it says, do not let your adorning, so your beauty be external, the braiding of the hair and the putting out of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear.

What it's right there, like I thought it was interesting that he also referenced the braiding of the hair and the putting out of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear. Which right there, I thought it was interesting that he also referenced the braiding of the hair in the gold jewelry because I guess at the time that would have been the extravagant. Braiding your hair nowadays, if I braid my hair it's because my hair is greasy. I actually just need a few more days braid my hair or, you know, or go and jewelry. I mean, that's just trendy. It's not, I don't not really draw much attention about wearing my gold jewelry, but at the time, it was, but then, but then it says this, um, or the clothing wearer, but let your adorning, let your beauty be the hidden person of the heart with the impartial beauty of a gentle and a quiet spirit, which God's side is, which in God's sight is very precious.

And I just thought that was so good. And I think like so many times, like the church, it's like we get focused and like, okay, the burning of the hair, the gold jewelry. Instead of like, no, like what actually are they talking about? They're talking about like the imperishable beauty, true modesty, is like the gentle and the quiet spirit of your heart. Like that's what is like precious to the Lord.

And I think why would get so caught up on like the gold jewelry, like the breaded hair and then we're like checking out as anybody. But nobody's actually like in the church being like, oh, you have breaded hair. That's a problem. All of a sudden it's like you didn't wear a t-shirt, you know, when you were swimming. Are you your shorts are longer than like your fingertips are like, is your hand like the cleavage to the tank top like, and the spaghetti strap is it covering your shoulder,

all those things and all of a sudden, we're focusing on what the culture and the trends are and set of what actually God was originally asking of us, where is your heart? Like do you have a gentle, do you have a quiet spirit? Which I do think is a challenge, especially for the generation. And yeah, I wanted to read the definition of modesty.

This is a definition of modesty. It says, the quality or state, there's three definitions. Obviously, a little bit different meanings for each of these, but I'm just gonna read them all. It says, the quality of state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities. Then it says the quality of being relatively moderate, limited or small and amount rate or level. Then it says behavior, manner or appearance intended to avoid improprietuity or indecency in propriety.

In propriety. Thank you. I am just like, like, like, impropriety or indecency. Actually, I'm just like, I'm not knocking on dyslexic people. I am just like sick. I am prepared or in decency, actually, I'm just like sick. I'm not knocking on dyslexic people. I'm just pronouncing things all the time or in decency. And I think that, like, just reading this, I'm like, that is such a challenge for this generation. Because everything culture is telling you to do is like, like, basically, being able to picture yourself. Like, being able to put your stuff out there,

live the best you make sure people know this year. Yes, like do people like you, like are people commenting on your picture, like are you noticed, are you? And even like when you see like the trends of culture, like it is like less is definitely more to them. All the jewelry, all the crazy hair, all the things, like because you're trying to like draw attention to like who you are. And so like to live modestly is to live completely

counter culture right now. And to be like, Hey, like I'm actually okay with being quiet in spirit. I'm actually okay with sitting here and being content and who I am without needing to prove myself by what I wear. And you know, I need to put myself by how loud I am, or prove myself by all the things that I'm doing or that I'm known for. And so one of the things I wrote down, I wrote down like three questions that I think are kind of like good questions to ask yourself.

And one of them was like, are you dressing out of a place of contentment or like to get something? Yeah. And I think that like, I think that that is a standard of like, I'm honestly like, if I'm dressing for a place of contentment or like to get something. And I think that like, I think that that is a standard of like, I'm honestly like, if I'm dressing for my place of contentment,

like I'm dressing the way that I wanna dress because I feel comfortable, I feel beautiful, I think it's okay, you wanna feel beautiful, I feel like myself, I feel authentic to who I am, and I'm not trying to dress in such a way to get attention. I'm trying to dress in such a way to get approval, I'm trying to dress in such a way to get attention. I'm trying to dress in such a way to get approval, much trying to dress in such a way to get other people to notice me.

I think like if you're dressing in such a way to get attention, to get people to notice you, to get certain attention in certain areas. Yeah, I think that's immodest, but to dress in such a way that comes from contentment to feel beautiful, to feel lovely, to feel like you are being totally authentic to who you're created to be, then I think that that's a modest way to dress. So I think you can't say like,

oh, is it a tank top? Is it shorts? Is it this? Is it that? I don't even think that's like the right way to look at it. I think it's like, are you content? Yeah. Are you trying to prove something? Right. Are you trying to get attention for yourself because of the expansiveness of your clothes, the flashiness of it, or because of the sexual attention that you might get in the world that you dress? Like, all those things are ways that we can be immodest. Yeah. But it's not about, it's, it's, it's, it's back to the heart.

Yeah. It's not about a specific list of rules and regulations that make you modest You know, yeah, it's about the heart. Yeah, and again if it was about the certain rules and things like that Then we still shouldn't break our hair But once again if you look at my heart, I'll bring my hair like I said I got greasy hair It's not about trying to trying to get any kind of attention. It's not about trying to be extravagant. It's about trying to be practical, honestly. I was thinking about how if you look at culture, even today, the way people dress in different

cultures around the world is different. It's different. What is acceptable in one place is not acceptable somewhere else. What's acceptable. Just even just in culture. If you look at, you know, over time periods, you know, if you look at what was what the dress that was acceptable in that time period and what's acceptable now,

even if you look at situations like would you wear to the beach if I wore it to the office? Would be true. Would cause a lot of attention. That's so true. You know, if I wore what I wore to the it to the office. It would cause a lot of attention. That's so true. You know, if I wore it when I wore the beach to the office, it would be like, whoa, draw attention to me and would not be modest.

But when I wear it to the beach, it's appropriate for the situation. And so I think that that's something that we have to be careful of is not to assign like biblical truth to things that change, culturally change every time and all that, but the biblical truth that is there, that is eternal, is the gentle and quiet spirit, the modesty, the things that are in the heart. That's so good.

That will always remain true. And that was even true in first Samuel, whenever they were going to anoint the new king, right? And Sam was going to anoint the new king right and Sam is going to anoint the new king and God's about to call David to be the new king. Well David was the last son of Jesse. He's a shepherd boy. He's not fit to really be king and God tells Samuel don't look at that outward appearance. Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart. Well that same truth is still true here in the New Testament.

Like a long time later, you know? And they're still saying, you know, man looks at the outer appearance of God looks at the heart. And it's still true. Like, we can look at the outer appearance, but like God looks at the heart. And so when we're judging people, like you can't judge people based out there

out where appearance, like you also need to look at the heart and look at your own heart. And, you know, respond from a place of that. When we talk about judging people, I think that like, for me sometimes, like I, in the past, have been like judgmental about people that I see if it's like a designer, something that I know costs a lot of money.

I'm like, you know, that could have been used better. You know, so like in modesty, like we can judge people in every way. People do that to me. Like they'll see some shoes I wear and know the cost of them and be like, that's too much to spend on a pair of shoes. So like those kind of things, it's like,

we can all look at them differently. Something that's expensive to me might not be expensive them differently. Something that's expensive to me might not be expensive to you. Something that's not expensive, you might seem expensive to me. You might say, oh, that's a good price and someone else would be like, what? That's really great to see.

So those are things that change and they change over time. Because what is expensive, back in 1910, what was expensive then now would be like, that's nothing, that's so true. So those are the things that aren't the truth, the standard that changes with culture and changes with time and changes with who you are and where you're at, you know? And I think that's so good.

And you really have to be careful about that because even Judas was so judgmental about Mary, was it Mary? Yeah, Mary Martha, when her decision to, it's like, you could have spent that like so much better. Yeah. You could have like, you could have given that money to the poor and he's judging her. And Jesus is like, don't judge her like this, this moment like we'll be remembered like, yeah, throughout the history of time. Because like, she was preparing him for his death,

which she didn't even know, she was doing, but what she was doing, she was pouring it all out to Jesus. And so you don't know people's heart. And I always say this, I told Christian this because there is a time where I was excited to buy something that was really expensive and it was a designer thing.

And I was like, God, I just wanna say, like if there was ever a moment that you asked me to give this to someone I would, you know? And it's good. And I try to live my life like that. Like, if I'm gonna buy something for me, I'll buy it for me. But like, I know, like, this is not mine. Like, I would give this up tomorrow if I saw someone who needed it.

You know, I say, that's crazy. You can have that conversation when you're buying a purse or when you're buying shoes. But I think it's important that in whatever we do, we do have that heart posture. And I wanted to actually read that in first current themes because I thought this was applicable to this conversation. First Corinthians 1031 says, so whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. And I was like, man, that is so good because it's like whatever you do, whether it's eating, drinking, dressing, acting, living, whatever, your job, do it all for the

glory of God. And so that was my second question to ask yourself. I was like, who are you glorifying? Like, are you glorifying yourself or are you glorifying God? Another one was, what are you reflecting? What are you reflecting? And I think my question and that is, are you reflecting? You know what what are you reflecting? And I think my my question and that is are you reflecting culture? You know are you reflecting Christ? And I think that it's not that you can't be trendy. Yeah. Like I want to dress trendy. I want to dress cute. I actually I like fashion. I think it's a fun way to represent who you are. It's a creative way to represent who you are. It's fun and slow things, but it's like, do I care more about fitting in with culture or really representing my ultimate mission?

And I think that there are certain things that definitely do look more like culture and definitely do look more like, you know, what I'm actually trying to represent. And I think that just comes with respecting yourself. You know, respecting yourself enough to say, I don't need to show that part of my body because that's private, because it's me,

and that's for me and my husband. That's not for anybody else to see. And Mama, we're talking about this. And I think this is important to talk about in this conversation is that modesty, culture culture in the church can actually be pretty dangerous You know, I think that a lot of people have experienced it in a negative way Yeah, they've gone the complete opposite and I've experienced a lot of hurt from modesty culture and Christianity I remember when Doug Dynastie first started

I would wear my blue jeans shorts on the show and we would have so many Christians be like, you know, are you even a Christian? Like the way that you dress is so immodest or people would say to me that I'm setting a bad example for this generation because of the M.I.C.I. dress. Yeah. And like, it honestly like made me feel so much like pressure and also like, so sad and confused because I'm like, wait, does that make me not like a Christian? Does that make me not like when that's actually not at all like Christianity really is and plus like as a teenager like hearing people say that Mm-hmm. I remember thinking I can see why so many celebrities who grew up in the church turn and just go, right?

Because it honestly makes you want to. Like when people say that, I'm like, this is really, this makes, watch me. Yeah, like watch me do it. Because it kind of makes you want to rebel. This is what the church is about. This is what Christians are about. Yeah. Just picking apart whenever you're doing something, you know, you're, you know, you believe

you're representing Christ when you're on TV, or whatever, and you are, but then they're going to pick apart like, okay, you wore these short shorts. I remember the second, I think it was the second night of Dance of the Stars, and you had on denim shorts and like, it was a button up. Yeah, I mean, you can go back and watch it. It was the country episode. And, you know, the shorts weren't anything different than anyone would wear, you know, to the mall or whatever.

But you got a lot of hate for that. And it was very hurtful. To see. It was super hurtful. It made you question everything. It made you, and I was like, it was really hard too because I was on dance with the stars and truly felt like I was being like a light, you know, and like representing, you know, Christianity and like who Jesus is

and like showing people God's love there. And like, I mean, I would like pray over CBS studios like every Monday night and just like really believe that like God was gonna do something there and God did do something. Like, even the judges kept saying like, you're such a light and all this stuff. Like, I don't even know how to describe it. It's like this light. And it was like the world was so noticing that. And the Christians was noticing my short shorts. Right.

And it was like everything that was doing wrong, like the dance moves that they felt were in modest. The clothing that they felt was in modest like picking me apart. And it was so hurtful. And literally that week, I don't know if you remember how much I cried. You did. How hurt I was. How like I was just like so confused. Like questioning so much. And so that's hurtful. Yeah. And I'm not the only one that's gone through that. Like a lot of people have gone through that. You don't have to be on dancing with the stars to go through that. Yeah. And so that I think is something that needs to be addressed

and that I think you should ever be like, shaming people or picking people apart. Like, I mean, if we're gonna be like Jesus, Jesus did judge from that experience. He looked at the heart of people's life. And, but I also think like in the same light, it's's also dangerous so it's dangerous to be a part of that culture But it's also really dangerous to dress super provocatively and there is a lot of consequences that do come with that So I do think like you have to be wise like don't dress, you know like well

I think whenever we you know, I do think we need to address that yeah Because we're talking about modesty and whenever you look back at modesty, it doesn't always mean dressing sexual or provocatively. But in this talk, I think we should talk about that as well because I do think it's back to the heart. It's like for me, I don't want people to notice me because of that, because of whatever. I don't want people to notice me because of that.

Because of whatever, I don't want people to notice me outside of my husband, to notice me sexually or whatever. I want people to notice me because I'm smart or funny or kind or whatever. All these things, I'm joyful. Those kind of things, and I think as women, we do need to look at that and think. Sometimes we do, we put that out there we're like oh notice me from a brain but then we're we're you know trying to put these sexual images out there and so I do think we

have to be be thoughtful of that now is that does that mean it's our responsibility for what men think of us? No, no, it's not's not our responsibility. The vowel talks about when it talks about lust. It says, if you look at a woman leftfully, you know, committed it all through your heart and it goes on, he goes on to say, Jesus says this, he says, if your eyes causing you to sin, pluck it out. So it's not like if you're looking at someone leftfully and it's causing you to sin, make that woman cover up. It does not say that. Yeah, you're looking at someone less bully and it's causing you to sin, pluck your own eye out. So you take responsibility for yourself and your

own sin. And that's such a good point to bring up because so many women do feel so much pressure to not just in such a way that, you know, let men stumble. And it's because of the verse that talks about, don't, you know, do anything that would cause a hindering blog or yeah to make another man's symbol and it says it and Romans 14 if you want to read it as this you're not causing another symbol Which I think we should address this verse because I know so many people are thinking well That's I like what you're saying Corey, but it knows a don't cause another man to stumble right? Yeah There's these things that are clean or unclaimed

But but it's not that that's what's cleaner uncle It's the heart. It's like are you doing it? All to the Lord and part of it is heart and so then he goes on to this part where he talks about being a Semmelbot to put an obstacle in your brother's way and All of this is really referring to like food and that kind of thing, but you can apply it Yes, you can apply it to modesty or to whatever referring to like food and that kind of thing, but you can apply it. Yes, you can apply it to modesty or to whatever,

drinking, if people apply that a lot, time to alcohol, like if alcohol calls a stomach back to someone, you shouldn't do that in front of them. Things like that, but that all goes back to the heart. But even in that scripture, it starts with, let us stop passing judgment on one another. But within yourself, you need to know know if I'm doing something that is intentionally causing the sound point block to someone else.

And sometimes you do it. I sure do it. And sometimes you are. Sometimes you need to say, actually, I am. I love verse 19. So let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbringing, upbuilding. Sorry. So let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

Right. It's like, let's just pursue that and all things that we do. Like, whatever we do, it may not be a someone in black. And I think like sometimes because like we hear that one verse with that context, it's like, if you don't read the Bible and open it up, you might think that it literally says in the Bible, do not address a certain way women because it will be a someone brought to your brother. It actually doesn't say that. This is not even talking about women or the way that we dress or anything. It's actually talking about food, you know?

But, and it's actually talking about not being judgmental because it says at the beginning of that verse, it's the same verse, therefore it is not past judgment. I want another any longer, but brother decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother brother. And so it's just really important and I hope that even us doing these is encouraging you when you hear something even in the church and you hear a pastor say it when you hear when you see a scripture when it's just one line on Instagram go to open up your Bible read the whole text understand

what they're actually saying and what God's heart actually is for you. You have to understand all these disciples and all these people who are writing the letters to the church or people who walked with Jesus, who knew his heart, who loved his heart and are trying the best they can to start the church based off of what they felt Jesus would have done. And then this word is God breathed, it's God approved everything in here. God's like, here's my sample of approval. This is God breathed. This is how I've done. And then this word is God breathed. It's God approved everything in here. God's like, here's my stamp of approval. This is God breath. This, this is how I want my church to look. And so it's just important that you don't just take one verse. And I think

that that's why like sometimes you take this one version and you're like, man, this is really hard. This makes sense or whatever. And there are verses that are hard, are hard to understand. But then there are others that is like, actually, that's not really hard to understand. I just misunderstood it because I didn't read the whole context. I think the end of that chapter is so good because it just kind of sums it all up. This is verse 22, it says,

so whatever you believe about these things, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself but what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats because his eating is not from faith and everything that does not come from faith is sin. So it's just, you know, it's back to the heart, it's back to the heart of the matter. Like, if you are, if you feel convicted about something that you wear, whether it's because

it's too expensive or whether it's because it's provocative or sexual or whatever, if you feel convicted about that, then that's sin. Like, you need to, you need to be to be aware of that and be careful of that. But also, don't condemn others or don't be judgmental of others because of something that God has not convicted within the noun. That's so good. What do you want to be noticed for? And I think we can send mixed messages in that.

We can say, notice me for this. In the meantime, putting out this sexual image by dressing provocatively or whatever. And it's not to me, it's not always about like how much fabric there is on your body. It's about what you're putting out there and what you're trying to do. And you know what you're putting out there.

And you know the heart behind why. I remember in high school, you know, all the guys are pretty remember in high school, all the guys are pretty provocative in high school. And all the guys are like, who has the biggest butt, who has the biggest boobs, whose body is the best, and they're always high about that. So I remember one of my jeans look good,

making sure I'm working the assets I got. And then I'm like, why am I doing this? Yeah, and I actually remember this is pretty bad But I remember there's one day I was wearing my little jeans and I got it was behind me And he started singing the song booty work I mean he was like left cheek right cheek left cheek and I was like boy and didn't like it And I was like that's inappropriate Yeah, but then I was like asking myself will, I actually have that kind of been wanting people to notice me like that.

And then I got noticed like that. And I actually was like, I don't wanna be noticed like that. That's actually not the kind of attention I wanna draw on myself. Good. And so with that, I have to ask myself, okay, like, am I willing to stop dressing like that? And am I gonna trust that, like, God,

like, I'm not gonna try to get a man based off of, like, these different things that men are attracted to. Like, I really wanna draw attention from a man who's gonna see me and love me for my heart who I am, my personality, because those are the things that get a last. Yeah, that's good. And so great, when you get to the point of your heart,

that can tip my heart to say, like, you know what, God, this is what I want people to be attracted to, and it's actually you in me. Because that is eternal. And when you bring attraction to yourself based off something that you know can change, there's actually so much insecurity attached with that. Because you know what, then today, if this changes, then they wouldn't love me.

It's good. If you attract someone to you, that is attracted to you because of you and your heart and the Lord know it then today, if this changes, then they wouldn't love me. It was good. If you attract someone to you that is attracted to you because of you and your heart and the Lord and you, those are the things that are never going to change. There's so much confidence. It's because I can be going the worst day or I could not look very cute today or gain a little weight in the season or whatever, but the love for me is not going to change because I didn't attract them by the temporary things. I attracted them by the eternal things.

That's good. And I think like that's so important that you attract people with the things that are eternal because then that's how you're going to feel confident. I heard this thing the other day. It was so good. It was an assermon. And it was like talking about it was in dude around him or something where God said like something about I love you I Love these people because I love these people when it was like a repetitive thing of like I love you and They were saying can you remember who's similar was listening to you? I want to say I really can't remember so shout out to whoever said this and they're talking about like if a

wife if a husband says so the wife like, I love you. And then she says, why do you love me? And then whatever they say after this point is so important. And he's like, cause if they say anything other than, I love you because I love you, it's not enough. Yeah. Because if they say, I love you because you are, you know, because you're sexy.

I love you because you're funny. I love you because you're funny. I love you because you have a good attitude, even those things, because then you're like, well, what if I don't have a good attitude? What if I'm not funny all the time, or what if I'm not sexy in this moment? And it's like, well, then they don't love me. But if they love you because they love you,

then that is like the only thing that's really gonna satisfy you, because like that's never changing and that's how God feels. And so I do think like this is an important thing to talk about with modesty because a lot of times like in modesty is like the way we go about trying to attract love when that's actually not the kind of attraction you want to get because that that is not going to be. It's

not going to stay. It's not going to last. And it's actually gonna stay, it's not gonna last, and it's actually gonna bring on more insecurity than security. Which, this could be interesting segue into just security and confidence, because I do think that a lot of women's push towards other women being modest, sometimes does come from their own insecureness. And I think that that is a really good thing to talk about

because I feel like I kind of used to be at work. I wanted everyone to dress modest because I was like, well, if I'm gonna dress modest and you didn't dress modest, because then the guys are gonna notice you and not me for sure, because now I'm the modest dresser and you're not. And so it's like you cast out this like,

I do it to everyone, they have to wear this certain thing. When it's actually not biblical at all, you're saying it is like you cast out this like I do to everyone they have to wear the certain thing when it's actually not biblical Right, all you're saying it is because you're a Christian and they're saying it's biblical. It's actually not biblical It's actually you're in security Yeah, wanting to make sure everyone's on the same equal playing field That's really you have to trust like if God's convicted you for that Trust that God is also going to come through with you for that. You know, like he's going to honor you in that way. He's going to see you in that way. You're going to be blessed by just the blessing of the Lord in those ways. And so, you know, you just have to trust that, you know, if you feel convicted, then you're going to have to obey that conviction and you're going

to receive the blessing of the Lord. And that's it. You can't put that on everybody else. We're going on them as well. Yeah. I was thinking also about like in this, you mentioned like modesty culture in the church or like people talk about purity culture in the church. And I think the, there's a piece of that that is harmful and that like we get so scared of our bodies.

Like our bodies are sinful. Our bodies are wrong. Our bodies are so we get so scared of our bodies, like our bodies are sinful, our bodies are wrong, our bodies are so so scared, and then you've become an adult, you you intermarriage or whatever, and you've just been taught to be so fearful of your body, that there's there's difficulties that can come with that too, and I just think that's that is that's really harmful, and like our bodies were, God gave us our bodies, they're, you bodies. He made them beautiful for a reason, and there's nothing to be ashamed of in that. I'll never forget whenever I was a kid,

and my dad did something that actually helped me I think with this, because I was like, I was like fourth grade, and I remember I was, and this is just a, just a, I'm just a, it's weird that I have this memory, but our game room at our house had these big windows on the back, and I was, I, but our game room at our house had these big windows on the back, and I was, I loved to watch TV at night,

and they're all watching the naked night. And so I remember our change, I changed into my pajamas in the game room, and these windows were in the back, and these boys had been, were outside my window, and they not, and like let me know that they had just seen me change. And I went, she was like balling to my mom and dad,

like, we just saw me change and all of it, you know. I didn't mean to and everything and my dad was like, sorry, so what? You didn't know, it doesn't matter. You got a body, you got a body, you know, whatever. And he just like made it be nothing, you know, and just helped me to not be ashamed of my body and to know that like, I didn't do anything wrong

when trying to like change in front of boys or whatever, it just happened, and it wasn't a big deal, you know, and I remember that, just really distinctly, because I think it was a way for my dad to just say, like, you're okay. That's not a big deal. Your body's your body. You're not, like, trying to be sexy or provocative, or fourth grade, or whatever. Change your clothes. Yeah, exactly.

And so, I just, I just thought that was a helpful thing for me, I think. I'm kind of growing up in a chart that you did count the inches from your knees or whatever. And those of you who have grown up in the chart, probably know what that feels like. Yeah. I know thing when you talked about insecurity and anxiety, actually, I was, you know, just looking through through the Bible just to find places that talks about our clothes and not a lot of saying everything. And Jesus actually talked about our clothes and his and the sermon on the mountain, Matthew, this is Matthew 6 and he says, therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life,

what you will eat or drink or about your body, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes. Look at the birds of the air. They do not sew or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow? They did not lay burrs bin yet I tell you that not even Solomon and all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God closed the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will they not much more clothe you? Oh, you have little faith. So do not worry saying, what shall we eat or what shall we drink or what shall we wear? For the

pagans run after all these things and your heavenly fathers knows that you need them. But seek versus kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. And I thought that was so good because it just like clarifies that, you know, like this is the outward. Like all these things we're talking about, this is about the outward appearance and Jesus just always, always goes back to like Take first is kingdom follow him And it's about it's about what the inner beauty and and Jesus is gonna take care of those things for you

You know, I just thought that was really good. That's so good. Yeah overall I mean it kind of goes back to even the tattoo thing which I think most of these conversations will go back to that Because Jesus always went back to the the tattoo thing, which I think most of these conversations will go back to that because Jesus always went back to the heart. It was never about just the outward appearance. It was always about the heart. It was never just about the outward deeds. It was always about what the hearts and tensions were. There are things in scripture that clearly light out.

Sin, that is for sure. It surely misses the mark from what God calls us to. It's not like all this thing is like a moving target that we can't ever know. Like there are things that God lays out and says, like, look, this is against the heart of God. This is not what I want. This is, you know, actual sin.

Yeah, sin. Yeah, that's light out in the Bible. Like there definitely is im modest dressing. And you know, and you know what that is. And I think if you are a Christian and you're dressing in an imotic way, if you're trying to like convince yourself that it's okay, it's probably not okay. I think a lot of times when conviction comes, we try to like convince ourselves like, well, it's not that bad because so and so said it wasn't that bad or they did it or if you're trying to like convince yourself like, oh, I think it's okay.

And it's probably not okay. You know, and if you're going out and you, you know, like, for a fact, like this outfit is to a draw attention to your chest, to your butt, to your things that really should just be private and meant for you, like, maybe just ask yourself, like, does this really need to be worn?

Does it do I really am I putting out what attention I actually want to receive? Like I said, when I was wearing the jeans I was wearing with the tops I was wearing, I was seeking that kind of attention. And then when I got it, I'm like, that's actually not really what I want. Are you actually putting out what you want to get back in return? We want respect a lot, you know, as we make, if you want respect, dress in a respectful way, present yourself in a respectful way, and you will get respect. But I do think that is so important. And on the other hand, the choice of the If you want respect, dress in a respectful way, present yourself in a respectful way, and you will get respect. But I do think that is so important.

And on the other hand, the church thing is so important as well to not be too overcritical of other people or judgmental. And to not see your body as a bad thing, because one of the coolest verses is, honestly, used to make me laugh when I was little in church whenever a pastor would say, and they were naked and felt no shame. But I love that verse about Adam and Eve because they were a married couple who, you know, were naked and felt no shame. This was before sin entered. This was when they were just together and like, holy like union. And that is like such a beautiful thing that I feel like God truly still has for marriage. And I feel like, you know, in marriage, when you get married, you know, under just the

purity and the loveliness of what God created for marriage, you can be naked and feel no shame. And I feel like that's what God has for us. And if you feel shame in those ways because of something someone put on you or said about your body in a unhealthy way, then I do feel like that's something that maybe the Lord can redeem in your life and maybe you can talk to someone who can help you through that because that's not God's intention for your body or for your marriage or for your life. So anyways, I know we went to a lot of different places and like we said, this is not going to be a perfect conversation.

This is not going to be like, you're so what it says. And this is exactly what you're supposed to do. And this is just some thoughts and questions to ask yourself. Some places in scripture to go. Again, every time we do a conversation like this, it is going to be to seek the heart of Jesus. It is going to be to lead us into what his heart is for us, for our bodies, for our lives, for our marriages, for our friendships,

for our communities, for ourselves. And so that's what we're trying to do. That's the understanding we're trying to bring. We're always gonna, you know, basis off biblical truth. And we're always going to try to apply our everyday life to that and get us close as we can to being obedient to the heart of God. And so that's what we are striving to do. That's what we hope you feel and I hope that you are encouraged by this conversation. I feel like

this brings no shame to anyone. It's only encourages you and your life and in your lifestyle. It's actually funny. I saw that someone commented on my last video, the four or five minute one that I did, and they said, this was so good and so helped on me to go clean up my calls right now. And me doing this, I wasn't saying, you need to go clean up your calls. But at the spirit, it convicts that in your life.

I think that's awesome. I think once again, you have to follow your convictions that you feel and not judge others for the ones that they have. We don't have. So we're super excited to continue talking about these conversations. If you have the desire to hear about another one, drop in the comments below.

We have a couple that we've been thinking about based on ones that you've already said. And so, yeah, give us topics, give us ideas, but I hope this furthers your understanding of what it looks like to be modest and what it looks like to honor God with our modesty. you