WHOA That's Good Podcast - Answering Your DM's: Boundaries, Love, and Redemption

Episode Date: October 7, 2020

Team LO's Morgan Krueger and her husband Ryan, join Sadie and Christian as they answer your relationship DM's. Listen to their advice on how to cultivate Godly physical boundaries while dating, showng love to one another in a relationship, and letting God redeem areas of brokenness in relationships. Morgan and Ryan Krueger live in West Monroe, LA. Ryan serves as the Young Adult Pastor at Christ Church while Morgan serves on Team Live Original.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, to answer some relationship DMs. And I want to Ryan and Morgan to be on this because they're the people we talk about relationships with anyways, right? Yeah. Like we've gone to them for advice. We've laughed at ourselves. We've fought in front of them.

We've had the highs and lows. And vice versa. And vice versa. Yes, we have been an awkward argument, over weird things. And so I just thought this would be a great conversation. So Ryan and Morgan, well back story Morgan is on team L.O. So you've heard Morgan before, Ryan is her husband.

They used to live in Nashville, Tennessee, where we all met and then they recently just moved to West Monroe. And so now we're all in a little gang here, a little best friend gang. And so it's been a blast. But welcome, Ryan and Morgan to the podcast. Thanks guys. Hey, all thanks for having us. but welcome right and we're going to the podcast. Thanks guys.

Hey y'all, thanks for having us. Yes, seriously, we're so honored and like you said, we have so much fun together. So it's about time we take to the pod. That's right. Love it. Take it to the pod. Take it to the pod. Take it to the pod.

Take it to the pod. Oh, yeah. Also, we like abbreviate everything. So we always call what it's good. The W2G pod. So welcome back. Also Ryan is our college, your youth pastor here. And so they're pastor Ryan and Moran. Whoa. Official title.

Wow. Don't feel like you have to. So they like you with the youth, the young adults. Young adults. Sorry. So they like drop some bombs. Their pastor. Oh my gosh, no pressure. No pressure. Well, we are actually going to take it to the DM.

So these are questions that y'all sent in about relationships. All right, let's just get it started. Let's do it. All right, what are some little ways to show the other person that you love them? So sweet. Okay, how do you show your significant other

that you love them? So I think the biggest thing, and I did not realize this when Ryan and I were dating, but you kind of have to know what the other person's love language is. Like, if somebody is an access service person, like you might want to shift on how you show them love. And so I learn very quickly on, Ryan is, right, me from wrong, you're a access service person. Oh, yeah. And physical touch. Okay. So if you're married and you're dating, you're a active service person. And a physical touch. Okay, so if you're married and you're

dating, it's a little bit different, but for me and Ryan, I had to figure out what that was. And so for me, I'm a quality time person. So all I wanted to do was be in his presence. And he wouldn't say it, but it would speak so much louder when I did an active service, when I did something for him.

So it's sweet. I think just learning those little things. But for him, it's like, hey, I'm running by and getting a coffee can I get you something and run it to your work? And he's like, oh my gosh, that means so much to me. And so I think it says little things just learning what the other person's leveling, which is.

I'll do anything for caffeine. Yeah, sure. So I will work for caffeine. To feedback off that, I think something that as a male, there is nothing more significant in my life than when Morgan speaks life over me. I could get a million compliments, which doesn't happen often,

but a million people could say something to me, but it doesn't, it pales in comparison than when Morgan says one thing to me, like my soul latches onto that and it empowers me as a man to be like, oh, I can do this because my wife believes in me. I love that. I think it's like the intentionality of just being seen

by your person, being heard by your person, being noticed. Like the other day, Christian came in and he brought me like these cards from CVS and candy. And I was like, nothing says love like CVS. I was like, but actually nothing says love like somebody going to CVS and getting exactly what they know you want. And I think that's the thing. Cause like anybody somebody going to CVS and getting exactly what they know you want And I think that's the thing because like anybody can go and CVS and get you something

But like he came with these imminent brownies that have been literally saying for months I want to try and Swedish fish which is awesome I think candy and little cards which I'm obsessed with those little cards actually We've got one I love comedy cards So it's just like I thought so like seen and heard in that moment I was like you know I've been wanting to try these in the I just thought, I thought so, like, seeing and heard in that moment. I was like, you know I've been wanting to try these in the house and you know I love the little cards.

So I think whenever somebody is just so intentional and it's like, nobody else would know that. Nobody else would know that that's what I wanted, but it was so sweet. Those are like little ways to show love. Yeah, I agree. I think intentionality goes such a long way, especially just when we were dating with still marriage, just the idea of, you know, pursuing you and that idea of pursuit. And I know for you, since quarantine, you've gotten big on acts of service. So that's been something that I've really amped up on.

I really have. I've gotten big on that. Recently, I was like, so you know, I told you my love language was this. So I was like, I think I changed it to access service. Because it is funny. Like sometimes, you know, in certain seasons, I feel like when we were dating Laundice, words of affirmation meant a lot because we weren't together.

And so like when he would speak something, I would really hold onto that. So you say, like, my soul just kind of latched to that. And I would just take him at his word. But now we're together all the time. Like I trust him. I believe him like you can tell me everything and it's so sweet but I just I know that already. Like I know those things so deeply and so whenever he like does the dishes or literally this morning makes me a smoothie and like that's so sweet, you know.

Yeah I'm with Ryan. I love nothing is more helpful for me than when you speak life with words of information. That's my biggest. So that's really good for everybody to listen to. I think, you know, if you're in a relationship and this isn't even have to be a dating relationship, a marriage, it's could be a friendship. Words of life matter. Like our time holds the power of life and death. And the words we choose to say really matter. I remember like people would be around my friend group and they would be like, like awkward by how much we would compliment people.

And like it's just funny because that's how we naturally do. But I think not everybody is so used to just like hearing people speak life and we need to, we need to make that a more natural thing. And it shouldn't be awkward to tell somebody, hey, you look really pretty today. It shouldn't be awkward to say like, you did a look really pretty today. It shouldn't be awkward to say,

you did a great job last night. I think we're gonna talk about that. People overthink it. I'll share this message and then we'll be with everybody. I just shared it to and know what you'll say, like a word. And that's just awkward. You know, it just means that when somebody says,

hey, thanks for sharing or just something affirming. And so if you're out there, no matter what relationship you're out there like, no matter what relationship you're in, one little way to show love is just to affirm another person. All right, next question. Okay, I love how this person phrased this. How did you kindly yet firmly set boundaries in a relationship?

I got this. This is really loud. I'm going to make a prediction. I think Sadie and Ryan are going to have a very similar thought. They're both sixes on the Indian Grand, but I can see it. I think it's an amazing question. I would say you don't have to be kind about it. That's what I was going to say.

There was nothing really kind about the way that I said it. It was very firm. Remember, I was like, I'm just going to go ahead and tell you that if you cross this line, I will no longer be attracted to this relationship. That's so good. Exactly. Ultimately, like, godly people are attracted to godliness. And so these types of boundaries build trust, like you said.

And so if more than hour dating and if I set firm boundaries or if she set firm boundaries in one of the person, try to cross those lines, like that's automatically and starts tearing down the trust that you've built. They've worked so hard to build, but trust can be lost and it's an instant. And so, man, but godly people are trying to do godliness. Like it said, you don't have to be kind about it. Put those firm boundaries in place because gods already put them in place for us. And at the end of the day, we're seeking His will and on our own. And so I understand the question,

but like, you don't have to be kind. Just be firm and say, man, this is what we're gonna do. And if you care about me enough, if you love me enough, you'll do this with me. And if not, then maybe it's not the right person. Yeah. That's exactly what I was gonna say. Like the idea of, yes, you don't have to be kind about it.

And also, like, even with us, when we set boundaries, like, we were in on it together. Like, we both agreed that, OK, this is how we want to do this relationship. And I think that if you were someone and you set these boundaries, and then they're like, well, maybe we'll see how long that last. And it's like, you know, then I think you need to really reconsider what you're doing.

But I think that being with someone who respects the boundaries that you put into the relationship is important. And I think that is part of the problem. People do try to be too kind about it. They're like, well, I mean, only if it's okay with you. And then it's like, no, like if you have a conviction that this is, you know, your boundary, whatever that looks like, and it might look different for different people. That's another thing.

You can't judge what somebody else is in another relationship. It's look like, but for you, you do have to be on the same page as whoever you're dating. You know, this is the boundary. This is the boundary. But I will say, this is what kindness does come into play. Christian and I, definitely, when we were dating,

actually more towards when we got engaged, the boundaries started getting really hard, you know? This is honest. And I remember one day we went a little bit further than we had ever intended. And it wasn't detrimental. We didn't have sex before we were married, but for us, it was too far.

And I remember we were both really like so upset. And we were both like crying, we were both like, God, like we didn't want to do that. Like we desire what you have for us and just had this honest conversation with each other and with God. And I think in those moments, it is important to be kind because you don't want to shame each other.

You don't want to shame yourself. You don't want it because shame also brings you further from God. But I think in that it was really just a repentance of like God. Like this is not what we want our relationship to look like. And I know because from past we both knew if we did not stop in this moment and repent

and we're honest about that, then we were about to spiral down a path and like, I don't know what would happen before we got married, you know? How we not like stopped in the moment. And so there is grace for the journey, like Morgan always says, there's grace for the journey. Like you're gonna mess up sometimes. You might have a day where like,

man, it means to do that. And that doesn't mean all you're the worst person ever. And like shame the guy or shame the girl, like have an honest conversation. And if there's true repentance and you do change, like I think that's a really good thing. Yeah. And I think like you said, Sadie, the indicator that you and Christian were running

the same race was when that happened, you both had hearts to repent. Like, and I just want to speak to the girls for a second because there's so much out there right now with a guy and girl relationships, especially in the beginning when the boundary talk comes up and like, this is such a way to see if you're really running the same race at the same speed because Like I heard time and time again guys say to me or guys say to my friends. They would say well I just want you to know that I care about you. So whatever boundary you're comfortable with that's great with me That is a red flag to me because if you're not happy if you're not with a guy that says no This is my personal boundary that comes out of my relationship with the Lord and the convictions

He's placed in me and this is like I'm not just waiting for you to draw the line I'm actually gonna draw the line to and run with you in that and then if we cross the line we set we repent That's a good indicator that you're not with a guy who might be wholeheartedly seeking after God's purity for him and the relationship So you might be listening and you know and maybe you've never walked a Christian life. Maybe you are like, why do you need boundaries? Why does this even matter? And the Bible talks about how God created one man and one woman and they joined together as one flesh.

So we believe that that is like God's design for our life. However, none of us here did that perfectly. But we desired that. We all were like, we want to see that God. We want to see what that looks like. Bubble also talks about how like, don't have sex before you're married. There are boundaries that it kind of lays out, but it doesn't say in the Bible like, this is the boundary.

This is that. Don't do this. Don't do that. And a lot of people are like, oh, what, it doesn't really say and say people push boundaries. And I think that's the time when you're walking with a spirit of the Lord, like listen to your conviction, let your conviction set your boundaries. And then whenever you get into relationship with somebody, make sure that they are also, if you are a desire in purity and you're a desire in God's plan, they also desire that.

I remember Christian always say, we just have to desire God's will and God's plan, they also desire that. I remember Christian always say, we just have to desire God's will and God's plan over our own fleshly desires. And that was like a good boundary for us, even, a good, just motivational tagline for us. So if you've never heard of this and you're like, these people are strict. It's not because we're like,

we have to have boundaries. It's just because we truly desired that and from doing it the world's way and doing it, God's way, we can all force it. God's way, it was way more peaceful. It was way more joyful. It was way more beautiful. There was not shame attached.

There was like guilt attached. It was absolutely lovely. And so I would just, that's why we were passionate about it. Yeah, that's good. Okay, next question. Great questions, by the way. Thanks for sending in some DMs. about it. That's good. Okay, next question. Great questions, by the way. Thanks for sending in some DMs. All right, this is good.

When is the right time to open up about your story slash testimony in a relationship? That's a really good question. Because me and my brother actually talked about that when him and his girlfriend started dating. I think for me personally, when we kind of had that conversation, I think that it was when we both

realized that we were wanting to continue to pursue our relationship. I remember telling Christian, I said, I don't want us to tell each other, we love each other until we know each other. And what I meant by that was, I don't want us to say I love you unless we know each other's story, and I don't want us to know each other's story until we know that we love each other. Yeah. And I remember the moment when after we shared that, that was when I kind of had that light bowl moment of like I could never imagine telling all that stuff to another person again, which is kind of when, for me, which is when I was like, okay, this is what's going to

happen. We're going to keep dating. And hopefully this is going to end in marriage because after that moment, that was when I was like, okay, this is what's gonna happen. We're gonna keep dating and hopefully this is gonna end in marriage because after that moment, that was when I was like, okay, this is it. Yeah, and I think, like, Christian, I remember whenever we shared our stories, like it was months we had been dating for a few months. Yeah, months. We knew we loved each other, we hadn't said it yet.

And then one night, we literally stayed up like, and this is not something about boundary. We've not said it's a foreign word often, it up like this is not something about boundary we're not so far in the morning often but we wrote his parents house and we did but we I mean it was so pure real-life talking about our testament in our story and there was so many tears and just real life and I remember this is I think this is how you know the person is is a good one and pursuing God it was not pretty at all like this talk was not cute like it was like pretty at all. Like this talk was not

cute. Like it was like the worst of the worst. Like it was just like this is like the worst thing that I've done. Those words and it's happened to me. This is like the hardest thing I've walked through. This is how good God is. And then the next day we told each other, I love you. And I think that's really a significant thing because I think so many people they're like scared that if they were really known, then people wouldn't really love them. But to be loved, you have to be known. And so I think those two go hand in hand. And so, you know, that's why our song that we dance to was known. That's where we're in Will's because we experienced that in our relationship.

And so I think that those two went hand in hand with knowing when to share a testimony when it was the right time. And I'm not gonna say, you know, just for people to set an expectation. It's not just because we said I love you, it's not mean we shouldn't have hard talks after that about some of the things that were said, you know, in our story, because it's not always gonna be perfect,

but if, again, if you're pursuing God, there's so much grace, there's so much mercy. If they've already been covered by the blood of Jesus, and they've already been forgiven, you can forgive them for whatever it is and vice versa. And so yeah, I think to know when to share is, to know that you're loved, and also to know when to share is to know that your story's already been redeemed by Jesus and you're not looking for redemption in this guy

or this girl by whatever their response is. That's so good. Yeah, there's so much Sadie and Christian like in our store that's so similar to that. And so I think like, yeah, it made me think of like God is a mighty counselor. And like, I know even for Ryan and I, we've been to counseling and we've been to the same premarital counseling. And I think about the progress that we made in those counseling sessions to understand who we are. But as they look back on our dating and engagement, like we did have a counselor then too, like we had the Lord. And I just think about when we had those specific conversations, like God was counseling us through those. And like I love what you said about like love, you know it's genuine when they see the worst of you. And then that's something that the next day are like, I love them more.

Because they saw what's worse in me and they love me all the same. And then they love you more for the same thing. And so I just think we've been through that too. And just remember from the start, like, seek wise counsel from the people around you, but also know you have a mighty counselor that is guiding you through. Yeah, that's good. I don't know. I just think about the idea,

like sharing your story and just to kind of paint a picture of maybe why people shouldn't do this, like ride off the bat is because that is, it gets the most intimate thing that you can do with somebody, is to let somebody in, not just on, like, oh yeah, like, how did you mess up, like, hey, like I'm letting you in on the good, the bad, and the horrendously ugly. Like, the things that like, I honestly tried to forget

they were so bad, but it's just, it's what happened to me and God has redeemed my story and God has made me new. So just, I don't know, I'm just saying by even giving encouragement to the person who's like, well, I wanna share immediately, like I would almost advise, give yourself some time. Like we've talked about because it's so intimate and once you do, I go from Morgan and I,

I have decided in my head, there's nothing that this girl could tell me that would make me walk away. That's when I knew, I can handle her story and I love her and I want to know everything and it's not gonna make me walk away. Yeah, that's when I knew like I can handle her story and I love her and I want to know Everything it's not gonna make me walk away And so I think that's when you kind of know like okay, we can have this conversation when no matter what they say It's not gonna make you change your mind how you see them. Yeah, it's so good and again You might be wondering why do you need to share your whole story and I think this is the importance of it because

If you don't talk about where you've been then I think a is the important sort of because if you don't talk about where you've been, then I think a lot of times you end up running into your life scared that your past one day catch up to you or maybe one day they'll find out or maybe one day they'll know the real me. And you live in this fear of like eventually being known or eventually

being caught or eventually being found out. And you can avoid that by just being open and just being honest. It talks about in the Bible how a light shines in the darkness and the light cannot be like extinguished from the darkness. Like the darkness, it can't beat the light. Like there is light in a dark place. The light's always going to win. And so I think when you're vulnerable and you share and you're real,

that light destroys the darkness, that light beats your past. That no longer has a grip on you, that no longer has a hold on you, that no longer causes you to fear in your relationship. Because now you have a confidence that, hey, this guy loves me, Jesus loves me, I'm moving on. So I think it's an important thing in a relationship. Yeah, and I think it, I mean, in the moment, it's probably the hardest thing you'll ever do, but it will definitely make for the most healthy relationship you can have. A to the men.

All right, this is a lighter question. What is the one of the most important qualities to you in a relationship? It's a good question. I just have to go so spiritual because it's so... Well, you said liner, wait, let me... Hey, you can go deep. I'll go light.

Okay, great. So, day to day, here's the thing. If you're not married yet, this is what you need to know. That marriage is 90% companionship. And it's 90% stewarding each other's hearts and their souls and doing life together. It's not 90% sex. Like I'm just going to say that if you're dating, it's just not. Because you do think that. You always are like, that's going to be like once I marry you know. All the guys are bummed right now. Sorry to bring you to you. No, okay, maybe

it's okay. I'm just saying it's maybe the guys are having a different But but the roudies date like time wise its companionship and so for me I am so big on like a guy who loves the Lord being with a woman who loves Jesus too because If you are not seeking the Lord if you don't have vision to see people made in the image of God through the lens in which he sees his children, you cannot accurately love your spouse or the person you're dating the way that you're called to. And so I think for me, the biggest quality in Ryan is his pursuit of God. It's him waking up saying, before I'm going to love Morgan, I'm going to love God. And I mean, everyone's different. Ryan and I, just to be honest here, we don't wake up at the same time. He gets up before me every morning and most mornings I walk out and he is with the Lord, he is in prayer.

And I don't say that to say that's how your future spouse has to be. But I'm saying, I see in his day to day life, I see the fruit of him seeking God. And that's how I see it in him. And so I know that I'm going to be loved the way that I'm called to be loved because of the way Ryan is first loved by God. So it has to be that. I love that. I love that. That's nice.

And I would say a little bit lighter, but the same kind of idea is for me, something that I noticed about Morgan Early on, I was super attracted to that. I've just, you know, for everybody out there, you're looking for something like, look at the way that your person treats other people. And I watched Morgan walk into a room and literally just light the place up with her presence. And people, they just loved being around her. She was a safe place for them. She was comfortable to them.

She made them feel seen, known and loved. And like, when you find somebody that makes other people in the room, and even when we were dating, I used to hear it frustrated at her. It's like, I wanna hang out with you in these social settings. And yet she'd be off like, literally changing people's lives or something, I'd be like, oh dang,

I wanted to hang out with you. But, and honestly, like, it was one of the things that was most attracted to is watching her love, her friends, and love her family, and love strangers. So, you know, just watching how your person interacts with other people is really important. I'm hard-eiz-emoji every year. Hi, I love it. There's this video running.

We're going to church the other day because they're announcing that our young adults retreat and working the whole time was just like, googly eyes that Ryan, I was like, you are so in love with him, it's so sweet. That's a good quality, dude. You actually in love with your person, you're very good. You're not in love with him. Yeah, what about you guys?

Yeah, I say for me, I love just the quality of just genuineness, because Sadie's always just the most genuine, the kind of like what you said, just with anybody, whether it's me or her family or you know a way to add a restaurant, she always treats people the same. So that was something for me that stuck out early on was just how authentic and genuine she was. So sweet. Which is what I fell in love with. I love it.

I was thinking about a conversation to have in my great grandma before Christian I started it. I was thinking about a conversation to have my great grandma before Christian I started dating. And Memo Joe, she's a savage, she's a straight shooter. And we went to lunch one day and I was just like, you know, tell me about you and Peppa, how'd you on me? Because they are just like, relationship goals to me. And Peppa has passed away, but he was just like my favorite man in the world.

I just loved him so much. I used to spend the night with him all the time. And every time I spend the night with them, I would sleep with Memo Joe and Peppa would sleep in the world. I just loved him so much. I used to spend the night with him all the time. And every time I spend the night with them, I would sleep with Mama Joe and Peppa would sleep on the couch. And he's like 70, but he's just awesome. But she was telling me about this and she said, you know, she said,

Peppa was just a sweet man. He was just a sweet man. And I remember when she said that, I was like, I don't think I've ever dated a sweet man. I couldn't describe any guy that I had like been with as like sweet. Like they've been great.

It's not like they're bad people, they're great, but the quality of like sweet, that's something that you don't really see in guys these days. Like you look at the world, especially you look on Instagram, you look at TikTok, my gosh, or Snapchat. Guys don't appear to be sweet, okay? It's like they try to be over sexual,

or they try to be cool, or cocky, or whatever, but you don't really see sweet. And so I was telling them all this, and she said, well, I know honey, she said, you've kissed a lot of frogs. And she said, she said, one day you'll find your prince. And I said, my mom, you have to tell me

next time I date a frog. Like if you notice it, just tell me. And I remember I started bringing Christian around, and she said, Memo, you have to tell me next time I date a frog. Like if you notice it, just tell me. And I remember I started bringing Christian around and she said, he's not a frog. And I said, good, but I knew that already. And I remember Christian like the first time he came to take me on a date, I like opened the car. And I don't even know how you knew this besides.

I probably told you at one point in our 2 a.m. phone calls that we were having before like the two months we had to take him in the first date. But he had a pack of watermelon extra gum in his car because I was like obsessed with watermelon stuff at the time. I was like, that's so sweet. And he read me cars all the time and he would always drive to Nashville and it was like the quality of just being sweet was so seen in him. And it was really shocking. It was like you're so thoughtful, you're so sweet, you're so kind.

And so that was a quality that was really important to me because I feel like it's very contrast to the world. You just don't really hear that a lot. That's awesome. But it was sweet. It was sweet. Oh, you feel sweet. That is so sweet.

Left first. All right, last one, we are going on a different direction than our sweetness. How do you handle disagreements in a relationship? Don't talk about that. Don't know, man. Well, I'll say, oftentimes in a relationship, not always, but oftentimes you have somebody that gets big and kind of like, is ready to do it out

in that moment. And then sometimes you have people who, more like myself, who kind of shrink back. And you're like, I'm not ready for this. I'm not prepared for this. Like, give me an hour to think about it. And I'll come back. But more than I'm working, you know, if I have a discrepancy on the spot, she's a firecracker. She's like, let's get after it.

Let's have conversation. Let's a firecracker. She's like, let's get after it. Let's have conversation. Let's get to the bottom of it. And I have a sense to kind of like, I want to, I want to think through what I want to say. I don't want to say something out of like district emotions that may be hurtful. And so I kind of shell up and Morgan's like, no, let's go. No, and so. That's if you know, I'm not about. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I think that even goes in a disagreement. It's like the goal of a disagreement isn't to be right. Like if that's your goal, you've already lost. The goal in a disagreement is honestly, to somehow walk out of that disagreement more in love with each other than you entered into it.

And that doesn't happen unless, honestly, like calling out the dudes, like guys have to go into lay down their life for the wife, even in a disagreement. Sometimes, I'm convinced I'm right, and I think Morgan's wrong, but I know it's still the call to not just have a backbone, but same time, fight to serve Morgan through laying down my life. That really does play out in our life, And just got to give it to Ryan again. This is just facts.

Most of the time Ryan will like soften first in a way if humility not like carrying down like he will come to me humble and he'll go first like as something in our marriage. It's like go first like don't wait for the other person to come to you like be willing to always go first in your relationship. And then you the time that you wait between when you start the conflict and when your reconcile is going to significantly shrink. And so I see you come to me and just some practical advice for everybody listening.

This is proved to be 100% true in our relationship. It is always better to go first in the relationship and say, hey, I was wrong. And that's the best way to not expose it is always better to go first in the relationship and say, hey, I was wrong. And that's the best way to not expose, but have them see, okay, I need to own my part too. The way for them to own their part is not for you to ham or something.

Like we don't wanna be like it says in Proverbs, like a woman who is nagging as like a dripping sink. Like we don't wanna be that for them in our life. We wanna be somebody who says, okay, I'm gonna own my stuff, knowing and trusting he has a Holy Spirit to fill own his stuff. And then when I do, it'll soften him and when he does, it'll soften me and then we'll come together instead of trying to be the Holy Spirit for one another. And so I just think trusting that we both have a Holy Spirit and being willing to go first.

I normally always works. Like if you are willing to say, hey, I'm sorry, I see how I'm wrong. The other person softens too. But the longer you're like, and boom, boom, boom, boom. You're never just not going anywhere. Yeah. Like you're not going anywhere. And I just think like something I was thinking about is like asking yourself, how much time are we really willing to waste over this?

Because like, man, you can drag out a day. Like it's just ridiculous. Like you know, you know, you love that person. Like, you honestly, like, look, you wanna cuddle them, but you're like, oh, shoot, we're so fighting. Like, you know what I mean? That moment where like, you want, you're kind of over it, but like, you're so arguing.

I know. It's like, all you have to do is just say, I'm sorry, like, stubbornness or pride, or whatever it is, like, it has to be smashed to get to that point. Yeah. But another thing I would say for a practical advice is like, all the time, Christian, I was just bringing somebody else in and just asked them,

hey, I remember one time we got in this little tiff in front of his mom. And it wasn't like an argument, but we were clearly in a kind of a disagreement. It was my car, it was awkward. And then I was like, okay, let's just call her. She was there and just ask her to speak into our relationship because she saw how we just played that out. And she had so much good advice and we were both like,

oh yeah, we see that because she just brought it to a bigger picture than our own individual perspective. And so I think if you have somebody in your life kind of just like brought it to a bigger picture than like our own individual, you know, perspective. And so I think if you have somebody in your life that you can say, hey, this where we're at, we disagree. And maybe it's a counselor, maybe it's not that dramatic, maybe it's just a mom or maybe it's a friend. I think sometimes that's super helpful. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. Slow to speak, quick to listen, something that I'm slow to become angry, slow to become angry, something that I'm not the best at, but that I am trying hard to.

And I think even in disagreements, just kind of just keeping that idea of just reminding yourself to be quick to listen, slow to speak, you know, don't let the sound go down on your anger. So I think even just with us, since quarantine, we've gotten better at disagreements just with the humility aspect of approaching one another after we've kind of let whatever we were upset at settled down. And this is something that I do a lot like if I approach you something like kind of what Ryan said, if I'm like, if I know I'm right, then it I'll be defensive the whole argument. Yep. Sess into that that I've learned is to not be defensive

in our arguments. It's good. I have this like crazy memory of like my Peppa Shaku I saw you all about, you know, so weird. Cause I was pretty young when he passed away but I like have very specific memories of him. And one day he just like walked in the room and he was like, one day when you're married,

don't ever let the sun go down angry at your person. And I was just like, okay, I was so little and I like, we'll never forget it. And I literally have like conviction towards that. I was like, if I'm ever upset, I'm like, Christian, we have to talk, don't go to bed. And it's so good though, because you don't want to roll into a new day

like dealing with yesterday's problems. That's something that really is helpful in your relationship. Just keep moving forward and growing. But guys, you all have some great questions. Thanks for just sparking a great conversation. I hope that all of you feel encouraged in your relationship, whether you're single and you have some friends that you're dealing with really shit with, whether you're dating,

you're engaged, you're married, wherever you are in your life. I hope you feel strengthened and actually take this and apply it. I hope you also hear that most of our advice comes from the Bible. If you take God at His word and actually are convicted by the things that He says and with the Holy Spirit guide your life, you're going to have great relationships. And so we hope this encourages you all at Ryan Morgan. Thank you so much for your wisdom. Thank you guys.

You're a great, great friend. Wow. Friend wisdom. Thank you guys. Thank you guys. Joriel. Wow. Friend wisdom. I just have to say, since the cat is out of the bag for you too, that you're having a baby. Yeah. The cat is out of the home. All of this is so timely because I think we are preparing the way for the next generation. And you guys are walking, breathing examples of people who are going to love God first,

then love each other and out of that, be incredible parents. So we just want to say we love incredible parents. So we just wanna say we love you guys. We're so excited and you know what that knowing that you're having a baby will make you want to get your relationship in shape like anything. We're like man we want to get that figured out before we have a baby and so yeah we are paving the way of getting the next generation and it's a really cool thing. Well love you guys thanks for that's good, keep sending it in to the DMs on our Instagram and we'll look forward to next week. So fun. Bye guys.

Adios. Thank you so much for listening to the WoW That's Good Podcast. I have so much been doing this. I hope you'll have fun listening. And don't forget to follow me on Instagram at legit city rob and follow the podcast at woe that's good podcast. I don't know where to live original.com to see when I'm in a city near you or visit live

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