WHOA That's Good Podcast - Be the HELP to Others That You So Desperately Need! | Korie Robertson & Paula Faris

Episode Date: May 31, 2023

Sadie's mom, Korie Robertson, is joined by newscaster & journalist, Paula Faris and they want to encourage ANYONE who feels exhausted in life right now. Paula reminds us we do NOT have to carry it all and why we all need to ditch any feelings of guilt we may have and go ahead and ask for help! Korie shares a moment during "Duck Dynasty" filming where she realized she couldn't keep going without some extra assistance and why she loves Sadie's message about being truthful about life. It's so easy to only show the "perfect" parts of our lives, but wouldn't it be freeing to post the moments that are real, whether it's a good moment or not? You can be a help to someone else who desperately needs exactly what you're needing! Paula and Korie talk about how they both intentionally say "yes" to the things that bring them joy, instead of making excuses out of busy-ness. And always remember: NO ONE is perfect. Stop trying to put on a front of perfectionism — it's not healthy for anyone! It's healthy to ask for help. Paula's book, "You Don't Have to Carry It All" is available now!  https://www.reliefband.com — Get 20% off plus FREE shipping with code WHOA! https://www.mykitsch.com/whoa — Get 30% off your entire order RIGHT NOW with code WHOA! https://athleticgreens.com/whoa — Get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D & 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Receive 10% off on your first order on Sold the Genero.com. Plus, free shipping with the code sold to genera 10. Hey, hey, welcome to a world that's good Wednesday. I am so excited to be here to be guest hosting. This is the first of several that I'm going to get to guest host because my daughter Sadie is home taking care of her new baby girl. She is loving it and getting lots of snuggles in and so yeah if you have not heard honey is a new big sister. I am now a grandmother of six and it's just the best life and I cannot think of a better thing than to get to host my daughter's podcast while she is home taking

care of her daughters. So this is a pretty, pretty special blessing. And also, I have a really special blessing today to get to talk to someone who is a huge advocate for mom, specifically working moms, which Sadie is, and which I am. She has a company called Carey Media, and she has a new book out that we're gonna talk about later.

But welcome to the podcast Paula Ferris. Oh, Corey, and congratulations, Grandma. I have to ask you. I have to ask you. Is being a grandparent? Everything that they say it is. Is it better than being a born? And you're no, I know you have to be a parent first. So yeah, that's kind of how the process goes. But it's even better, really. It is. I like, I always knew that I would love being a grandmother, of course, because I have a great example. My mom does amazing grandmother to mama, but it's so much fun. It's all the good and none of the really hard, you know, so all this. You could just spoil them.

You spoil them and give them back to us on the sugar high. So there's that. That's pretty much, that's pretty much how it goes. You get to just say yes all the time and it's so good. That's good. Thank you so much for being here Paula. I just love what you're doing and I want to hear so much more about everything that you're doing for moms and working moms and the first we have to do what this podcast is all about. The first question I have to do what this podcast is all about, the first question I have to ask you is what is the best piece of advice that you've ever been given?

It's a big one. It's a big one. Yeah, I know exactly. And then we can back into it, right? The hard-hitting question from the top, Cory, I love it with that fastball. I think the best bit of advice that I have ever been given is to just be quick to say I'm sorry and even quicker to forgive. That right there just shows that we need grace and we need to extend grace to others but to for me just to not hold the whole to live in offense to take things personally but I try to live in that mantra with my even my kids you, you know, my friends, my family, that I'm going to

make mistakes, but I want to be quick to say I'm sorry, even quicker to forgive. And I want, you know, so that's, that's really I think the best bit of advice. There's a lot of good advice out there. Yeah. But I think that's probably the best bit of advice. I think that is so good. Now, love that you just went there because, you know, whenever you have been married a really long time and you have kids, you know that like forgiveness and extending it and asking for it for yourself is so important. And I just think I love that so much. I did want to mention because in the top of this, I talked about moms and working moms and all that. And if you are listening

today and you are not a working mom, you're not a mom at all. You may not even be a woman. I don't want you to turn this off. Because Paula has so much great advice. And I think there, you just demonstrated it right there off the top. But so much great advice. You have been an Emmy award winning journalist.

You have co-hosted Good Morning America, the Weekend Edition for like a decade, a Euro co-hosted, who's so good weekend edition for like a decade, a Urukha, so the view. And you have done so much. And what I love about you is you're so willing to just share what you've learned and all of that. And those are like hard jobs. This is not easy. I've actually been guests on those. And I know how hard it is. I cannot even imagine doing that every day, every weekend. And so you just have so much great advice and you are so willing to share that. So I love that so much.

So thank you for doing that. So if you're not a mom and you're not a working mom, please do not turn this off. That I think there's going to be so many things that we're going to talk about that are just like universal truths that can apply to everybody. That's right. But first of all, I want to talk a little bit about what's going on in the world and I feel I'm sure we've all read the articles about like anxiety and what young girls are dealing with and it's just seems to be like and just higher levels than ever that young girls

are experiencing anxiety and your new book just the title I felt like just kind of like made me like my shoulders relax a little bit. And this, me happy. Oh, the title is, you don't have to carry it all. And I just love that so much because I think that that is such an important message for people to hear and particularly young girls who are feeling like they're carrying all. We can see it in the, you know, rates of depression and anxiety that they're dealing with.

So tell me a little bit about like why you write the book and any advice. Speak to that a little bit. Yeah, I have a 15 year old daughter who I understand the world of anxiety very well. I have an eight year old who was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. So like I get that world, like these kids these days,

this generation is dealing with high levels of agency and anxiety, but I really think that like their future is so bright and they're going to be the ones to really disrupt the space and change the game for us. But I wrote the book, so Cory, I have three kids. I grew up in a, you know, a Christian home. Always felt tension about, you know, working outside of the home based on, you know, my own experiences, but also felt tension in the workplace based on how it's treated once I had kids.

I was treated less than, I wasn't valued, I wasn't celebrated, I was scrutinized, and I was paid less. And so I really, a couple of years ago, I was in network news for decades, and then I lost my job right at the beginning of the pandemic, and I had this divergence. I could continue in television news,

which is familiar, safe, right? Kind of the expected choice or I could really start to advocate for mothers and mothers in the workplace specifically because that's my experience. I didn't know anything about how to found a company, I'm not an entrepreneur, I know how to ask questions, but it was in that space and I was like, okay, God, what do you want me to do? And I really felt like he was really calling me into this space to champion working moms. I didn't know what it was going to look like. I didn't even have a name for the company.

Carrie kind of came to me because, you know, we carry children, whether they're in our hearts or our bellies, whether we adopt or we have our own. And I wanted to help carry women through these moments. So started carry about a year and a half ago to really provide resources and content and storylines, story telling rather, to change the game for working moms. To, you know, we believe being a working mom should work. And the reality is, you know, 70% of, of mothers today are working because they have to. Not because they get to or want to, but because they have to. And the majority of mothers will at some point.

I mean, it's so different from when I was raised and from when my grandparents were raised, but 70% of mothers will at some point be there, the primary breadwinner for their family. So why are we valued less once we become mothers? Why are we scrutinized? Why are we paid less? I really wanted? Why are we scrutinized? Why are we paid less? I really wanted to change the game.

This book is really, it's a chance for me. I had a chance to put on my journalist hat and interview all kinds of really fascinating people. Like renowned thought leaders, scientists, theologians, historians to figure out how we got to this point and how we can get out. How can we give working moms the support they need and deserve? But also the why behind it.

Like, you can't talk about the what if you haven't established the why and why is it important Corey? Why is it important to give families and mothers and the workplace support? Well, because I really believe a lot of the issues, the majority of the issues we face as a society are in direct result to two things. How we devalue mothers in the workplace and how we devalue families in society. So I wanna be part of changing that. Well, that's so great.

I just love your mission and I'm gonna be a cheerleader for you and what you're doing and all of this. So one of the things you did mention, as you got to talk to a lot of people and intervene this book, and I noticed in the part where you talked about like women in the Bible, you phone to friend. And I love that so much.

Because I think it's so important to not just feel like we're on our own. And we have to have it all figured out. Like we have a question about something. Call a friend. Call somebody that maybe has done some more research on that. And I love that you did that. Tell me a little bit about what you learned about women

and work in the Bible. [♪ music playing in background, playing in background, Hey everyone, it's Sadie Rob here and y'all, I'm gonna be honest, I like to fix my hair the night before. That is kind of my routine because I don't like to wake up early and have to do it, so I fully fix my hair. But in order for it to stay that way,

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For my perspective, it's important that I interview people from all walks of life, you know, whether regardless of their political affiliation, their ideologies, whatnot, but one chapter, I really wanted to explore the way that certain traditions and cultures and even faith circles can diminish the roles of women. It's a mainstream book, but I think this is really important context for all of us because there's so many of us walking around here in America with this tension of what our role is because of what our constructs, for me, it was the way I was raised, you know, it doesn't a good godly wife stay home and raise her children. That was so much of the tension that I felt, But God put the stuff on my heart too to really pursue. And so I carried that

tension. I decided to interview Joel Mademale. He's the director of theology at Proverbs 31 Ministries and then Lisa Tercursed, who is the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and Lisa's become a really good friend of mine. I wanted to figure out what the Bible says about women and their roles. And this chapter was really, I will say this, like the book can be is disruptive. It ruffles some feathers, right? It was very hard for me to write this chapter because in my experiences, you know, I went to a really small conservative Christian school and the roles of women were very much like you get married and you stay home and you stay in the kitchen where

you belong. You know what I mean? So I really wanted to unpack what the Bible said about our roles as as women and mothers and what I learned was it was very a very freeing message for me and I hope that it's a really freeing message for those who have struggled with this very thing and those that haven't just know that there's a lot of a lot of traditions and cultures, not just Christianity, a lot of traditions and cultures that really diminish the roles of women and our contributions to society. So I wanted I wanted this to be a freeing chapter but it was really difficult because you have to call out certain things that it experiences that have happened.

But again, I wanted it to be freeing. I learned that from the very beginning in Genesis, men and women were created to subdue together collaboratively. The proverb 31 woman, we think of her as a homemaker, but she was like the modern day boss babe. She was negotiating. She was a skilled business woman. I mean, when her husband was away at war, she, she, everyone depended on her. She bought a field with her earnings, and yet we, it's the way that Christianity often has reduced women to our roles and, and devalued us in many ways. Even you go on the new New Testament how Mary sat at the feet of Jesus,

she was a student and a scholar. And Jesus, and that was just think about in those days, like so much of the New Testament was a snapshot of history. It wasn't necessarily like, it was, they had their own, you know, historical, they had their own issues going on in history. And so can you imagine how disruptive it was for people to walk in and see Mary sitting with all the disciples, all the men, but Mary, a woman who is a third-rate citizen at that time, sitting at his feet to be, she's a student in a scholar and you said, Jesus, it's a

feat to learn and then to become a rabbi yourself. So it was a very freeing chapter. But again, like it was, it was, it was tough for me to write. I love, my faith is everything to me. It is the bedrock of who I am. It's the foundation of my life. But I love that you meant this important. I'm so grateful that you did go there because, and like you mentioned. I'm nervous about it. I'm nervous.

I'm a little nervous, so it was so good. And like you mentioned, it's not just Christianity. It is other cultures, I remember reading a book a lot of time ago called Half the Sky and talking about how the cultures that don't support women are, cultures that don't are not as healthy as a society because women do hold up half the sky. That's what we're meant to do.

And we're meant to co-laver like you to co like co-labor like you mentioned. And I love the part about Professor D. Mouin because I've thought that so much. I'm like, this was a working woman. This was not a woman that was just, you know, home and not that there's anything wrong with that. That is a beautiful thing as well. That's a beautiful thing as well. But, you know, there are so many examples in just in the Bible of women who are working women and who are absolutely that are doing that. And I'd love that she pointed that out and brought that out because I do think that there is some mom guilt that we can feel about that specifically.

Hunter Lisa. Another thing I thought I think about when I've freed that proper 31, and she is not doing this all on her own. And she is not doing this all on her own. And she's not. And I think it's so important to talk about that. Like we have to ask for help, we have to get help. And I've always been a really big advocate about that.

If you can afford for someone to come in and clean your house once a week, do it. I remember when ours were young, food was a big issue, like cooking at night. So Willie is a really good cook, and now he cooks for our family all the time. And it's so amazing. And I love and so grateful for that.

But back then, like, he didn't. He cooked some, you know, but he didn't fill that like burden of like every night have the meal on the table. And I was feeling that burden. And I was like, I'm not, it's not my gifting. Like, I do not, like, I'm not good at this. So I remember I was talking to a friend, and I was at a, like not, it's not my gifting. Like I do not, like I'm not good at this. So I remember I was talking to a friend

and I was at a like a women's bubble setting and we were all just kind of complaining about the same thing, that same thing. And I know you talk about this a lot in your book. So I wanna hear a little bit about your perspective on it. But I remember asking a friend who does love to cook. I was like, hey, what would it be like if you cook for our family one night a week?

And you like did a full, like a whole meal. I'll pay you and you can just deliver. And it was cheaper than us going out for a meal, but we had like a home cooked meal once a week. And it helps support, do something that she loved and support her. And so like finding ways of like helping, finding people in your community

and your circle and your friendship and your family, are paying someone to just help you. Like that is, there's nothing wrong with that. I think it's a really important conversation to have and I love that you went there in the book and talked about that a little bit. It's, and you just brought up such a good point

asking for help, saying, I cannot carry it all. I can, but guess what? I'm gonna, my shoulders are gonna become weak and I'm gonna burn out and I'm not going to be a good version of myself to anybody. And we have been so programmed in this country to think that asking for help is a sign of weakness or a sign of failure. We want to wear this mommy martyr status with pride. I can do it all. I can carry it. I don't need anybody. I don't need to ask for help. And if I do

ask for help, oh, well, she's privileged or she's weak. Well, first of all, like, yes, it is a privilege, but like you don't, you can create that, that circle of community, like you just said, I have people like, I can't afford a housekeeper, I can't afford somebody to help me meal plan. I can't afford childcare. That's totally understandable. And guess what? And other countries where they have a much healthier, a much healthier view on family and interdependent, hiring help is much more affordable, and they are not expected to carry it all,

nor do they even try. But you can create that. So when reached out to me, and they're like, you know, I have special needs kids, and it's too much to ask, and I said, there are people that are just like you out there. You can find them and you create that community. You say, I, I know what it's like to have special needs kids. I'm going to watch your kids on a Friday and then you watch mine the next Friday. You start to be the help to other people that, that you so desperately need. I have

somebody that cleans my house for every month. I used to feel dirtied to do that. I used to feel no pun intended. I used to feel dirty asking somebody to do that because I love cleaning. I'm like, but I can do it myself, but I don't have to. I don't have to carry it all. Go clean somebody else's house that you know needs it.

I love to, you know, I can go clean my sister's house, right? Be that help to other people. But again, like we're so conditioned and I wanna, you mentioned anxiety and burnout and it's all tied into this mentality, Cory, that we have to carry it all. We have to do it all. We have to do it perfectly.

And guess what, we don't and we wouldn't. Well, we won't. We're gonna drop a ball every single day. I tell my kids, I'm mommy's dropping a couple balls today. I'm gonna let the plastic ones drop, but I'm keeping the glass ones in the air. Those ones are really important. So that helps me drop the perfectionism

and ask for help and just prioritize my life. That's so good. You can't carry it all. You can't carry it all. Ask for help. Be that help to somebody else. Find your tribe, build your community. I just had to travel two days for work.

I mean, I had my sister helping me out. I went on my good friends. I had my husband's, the basketball coach from our high school. I had the golf coach. I had like six people. And you know what? At first I was like, no, I'm not going to feel bad about that. Yeah, because I'm that help to them.

Because I don't need help them too. You have to build a tribe and build a community and do life with people. And it's okay to ask for help. I love that. I love to always tell people, you know, you have to be an advocate for yourself. You know, like look at the things that are the pain points in your life and be like, okay, how can I solve some of these things? And I know a lot of you listening may feel like you don't have that community, you don't

have that family, you don't have those people around you, but you can start finding that, that being that, a lot of places you find that is in a church or wherever you, but you do have to be that further. When you have to ask for, you have to reach out and even, you know, with the young people, I talked to our young kids a lot or young, they're young adults now, you know, just about finding relationships and friendships and all that, you have to ask for it. You have to be the one that invites. You can't just sit at home and be like. Put yourself back there, Corey. Yes. Put yourself back there.

You have to. You have to. I love how you started the book. I think it was in the first chapter of May 3 in the intro. You just went ahead and said like, I've been burnt out. I went to a therapist. I needed that help. Totally. You just like're super honest. And I love that. Talk about like why it's important for us to kind of be honest about where we are and

and what we're going through. You you talked about everything from like, you know, messitis and exhaustion and all the things that women go through and that we don't really talk about a lot. things that women go through and that we don't really talk about a lot. Hey, oh, friends, Sadie Rob here. And no, we all know that little things can make a big difference, whether that's giving someone a hug, sending someone an encouraging text or email. Man, maybe even just learning one little Bible verse. These small things can make a big impact. Friends, we love it when we can make a huge difference in a short time. And that is why we are all about AG1, but athletic greens in the Huff House.

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I just had the baby four seconds ago, you know, keeping it real. We have to be real. We have to be vulnerable. And we have to realize that there is strength and vulnerability. You change the game by being honest about your situation. If it's not going to do me any good or anyone any good, if I'm sugarcoding the situation. And I bring up an example

in the book, it was after I had my first, my first baby, my daughter's now 15 and a half, I came back from maternity leave and the very first question that I was asked by a male co-worker was how was my vacation? And it was in that moment I was like, okay, and I was, you know, so I was very angry at first, you know what I mean? But I was like, well, but I was real with them. I was like, and this might be a little graphic, but I was like, you know, my nipples still hurt from nursing. I haven't healed from pushing a baby out of, you know, out of my privates. I haven't slept for four hours. I think so much of it is conditional on us being really real. And I know it doesn't make for palatable social media content.

I'm not saying that. But like, let's be real about our experiences. Because so often, like, I can't, he didn't know what he didn't know. But I knew it was the images that we're putting out there that we're in our skinny jeans and it was easy and it looked like it's not. It's not. It's not real about it. And let's not just be real, but like let's be the change and let's be there for one another

as we are being vulnerable and just be the help that we so desperately need. So I think there is strength in vulnerability. There's absolute strength in vulnerability. I absolutely agree. I love that so much. I think that that's one thing that Sadie, you know, has has done throughout her time podcasting and writing and all that is just tell the truth about what she's going through. Absolutely. Parts of that, a part of that is allows other people to speak into your life whenever you do like tell the truth and someone can say, oh, they can empathize with you or they can say, oh, how can I help? Or they can offer you good advice when you do

like just tell the truth about where you are and are just honest and vulnerable about with it. And also people can say like me too. Yeah, I feel that too. Absolutely. I've also been burnout. I've also, I can raise my hand and say, I've also felt that too. I felt like I've got so many balls juggling that like they're all gonna fall down. If I don't figure out which ones I can set down right now, you know.

Another analogy that like sometimes I think of is like I've got too many just tabs open in my brain, like you know, on your computer, which like when you got like. The metal tabs under a tab. She's like, okay, like like, which ones can I close down so that I can keep going and not be burned out? You know, and so when we do talk about that thing,

I think it is so helpful. You mentioned something else, just in talking about that in that social media, and I do think that like, that's something that I didn't really have to deal with whenever our kids were little, that comparison and that mommy guilt that comes with social media and always tell, say our daughters, I'm like, you know, the only time we really could compare ourselves or

when we were at church and we'd look around and be like, another mom had on heels and look like she actually got ready that morning, you're like, how did she do it? She took a shower. She really, the only time. Yeah, exactly. That's the only time there was like the real comparison that you could notice, or you know, you show up at work and the other moms look like they're fresh

and they got up and worked out that morning. You're like, wait a second. But now I think women are bombarded with it like hourly because they're looking at their social media feeds and there's so much, it looks like other moms are just like killing it. And our other women, if you're not at other social media feeds and there's so much, it looks like other moms are just like killing it. And our other women, if you're not a mom yet, everyone deals with this or,

so all of a sudden, whatever you did, you thought was so cute, your little Valentine craft that you did with your kids, you thought was really cute, then you looked and saw another mom that did it and did it way better. And just that comparison and what that feels like, as a woman, I feel like that's kind of a new thing

that really is that women are having to deal with. It's, yeah, there's something our kids are dealing with. You mentioned feeling less alone just a second ago, and that really struck me by being vulnerable. You can invite people into the conversation. They're like, oh, you too, but feeling less alone is a huge part of that. But yeah, it's so fascinating

what you're talking about with social media because I was telling my daughter yesterday, I was like, you know, I don't envy you because you can never get away from it, you know? Even for me, you know, comparison robs this of our joy. Anytime we're looking, and we have to realize people aren't always putting out their highlight

reels, right? Yes. Comparison steals our joy, but I ask my daughter, because again, this generation's dealing with so much anxiety, and I'm creating those healthy boundaries, but I'm also like, I don't always know what to do and what to say to her, but, but, um, I do ask her, I'm like, how can I support you in this season?

How can I support you and how, and how so, like, I want to build into her, not just, um, what she looks like. Like, it's really important for me that I build into her, her confidence and her self-esteem and who she is in God and her, her true identity. Um, but it is,. But it is a challenge. And I hope I think this generation is going to rise up and find a way to turn it on its head. And I ask her all the time, I'm like, please tell me that you guys are going to like, because it's so out of control. We're so addicted. We're so addicted to our phones all of us.

It's not just this generation, me too. I don't say a great example. I'm like, please create a solution. The devil meant for the devil meant for evil God meant for good, you know, like, please, try to listen to something really, really, really positive for this next generation. I believe that you can do it. But, you know, asking her, how can I, how can I best support you right now? I don't, I don't have all the answers. I don't know. I'm not, but how can I support you? And she tells me how, how I can best support her. And so even if there's any parents listening that have teen daughters or there's teenagers, you know, and you're having hard time communicating with your parents, or you know, just that's a really, really good way to

connect with your teen about all the anxiety and pressures that they're dealing with. How can I best support you right now? I think that's a good advice. Yeah, I think that's such a good advice. Just asking the questions and you being a journalist, you can definitely guide us in that. And just asking the questions and leaving it open to the answer, I feel like that as a mom, someone asked me recently, like what's the thing that you need to know about as a mom of a teen.

I really think listening is it, it's just like you really have to be a good listener and be there for when they're ready to talk and it might not be at the most convenient time but be there for when they're ready to talk and just listen and let them know that you're there for them, they're trying to figure it out. And if you come across as like you've got it all figured out

and you know, a lot of times they'll turn that off. But if you can just listen and hear them, let them know that they're, you know, they're sane and they're, you know, they're seeing and their opinion is valued and what they're going through is really valid. I think that's so important. My daughter Bella went time. So I have a friend who like, just is an amazing business woman.

She's a mom, her kids are so cute. And like, she posts just beautiful pictures on Instagram or she cooks and she, you know, has just, you know, her house is gorgeous and all this kind of thing. Well, my daughter got in her car one time and her car was just like trashed. Like, you know, I mess.

Like, everything was a mess. And Bella was like, you know, that was really so good for me to see because like, and she, and she mentioned it to me and I said, well, that's the thing. It's like something has to get, like you cannot do it all. It can't all be perfect all the time.

And if one thing is looking perfect, you gotta know there's something else, there's a closet that's like about to, everything's about to fall out. And that's just reality. If it was so helpful, Bella said that even she's not a mom yet, she's just, but she's a student in her car is always messy

because she's busy, she's a new wife and student and her car is a mess. And I was like, you just don't remember when y'all were little, our car was a mess. I mean, I had a minivan that I like literally, I, um, I traded it in and they sound, said they found like $3 in the CD of like change where kids and put, you know, change in our CD thing. I mean, our, our minivan was a mess. And I was like working. I was a mom.

I was trying to do it all. And everything on the surface on Instagram would have if we ever had had Instagram, would have probably looked perfect. But yeah. Meanwhile, our kids were just like stuff and so I think Dom's into the CD. At least it was Dom's.

I don't know what it was. They weren't trying to shove Swedish fish or goldfish in there. I don't even know. I had't know. They weren't trying to shove Swedish fish or goldfish in there. I don't even know. I had, I remember the plumber had to come because there was like so many toys in our toilet that had just one of the kids had stuffed down, you know. One of the things in the book you talk about

is like riding momfills on social media. You ride a few momfills. I thought they were so fun. Can you share a momf fail that you've experienced? I can share, I'm a gosh, where do I start with my own mom fails? I mean, just yesterday I was going to my son's golf tournament and I had my other kids in tow. And even though my husband told me where it was,

I still showed up at the wrong golf tournament, or the wrong golf course, which was like 25 minutes away. But I just have a funny story to share. And I opened one of the chapters with this. And my youngest is just obsessed with like smacking my butt. I know it's terrible. I know he's nine years old now, but he was really little. We were on vacation. And I decided to take my older two for a walk on the beach. And my youngest was back with my husband. And when I got back from the walk,

like my husband looked like he'd seen a ghost. And he's like Paula, land and walked up to a woman. He thought it was you. She had the same bathing suit on. Oh, no. And smacked her butt. It's hard. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Yes, he did. Luckily, she had a really good sense of humor about it. She no. Oh no. Yes, he did. Luckily, she had a really good sense of humor about it. She turned around. She's like, wow, you're getting started young. But I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed. Because like, yes, I know I should have nipped that little thing

in the bud for a while ago. But yeah, I mean, the thing is, like mom fails. Mom fails. Help us feel seen. And you know what? Parenting's not perfect. And our kids aren't perfect. We're not perfect. Falls are going to drop drop buts are going to be smacked.

And things are going to happen along the way. And just like it's okay. It's okay. Stop trying to put on this front of perfectionism because it's not it's actually not healthy for us either. It's healthy for us to ask for help mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It is healthy for us to say, I can't carry it all. I need your help. I'm not good. Perfect.

I'm going to drop some balls. We help me. Celebrate the 4th of July with Academy Sports and Outdoors. Take up to $100 off grills. Get up to $400 off ghouls and Nike Tees starting at $24.99. Shop Academy Sports and Outdoors deals in July 4th. Shop Academy sports and outdoors deals and July 4th. Exclusions and restrictions are clause. See Academy.com slash discourage for details.

When I was writing those, I was actually remembering a time. So this is like, I think the statute of limitations has gone out on this. So I'm probably saying no one can turn me in for this. But I was, I was, I can't wait to hear this. Okay. Yeah. So I was, it was during Dictonesty. Things were crazy. I was, so I was I can't wait to hear this. Okay. So I was, it was during Dictonisci. Things were crazy. I was, so I was doing a radio interview on the phone

with all my kids in the car taking them to a horse. I think they had horse lessons. So we were driving out to horse lessons and I realized, oh no, I've got this radio interview you have to do. So they're all in the back seat, and I'm like threatening them with their life, like be quiet because you know, I have to do them. I'm has to do this radio interview and I'm driving. And I, of course, they start talking. And so I think, okay, I've got

to pull over the side of the road and get out. So I pull over into this parking lot. And I jump out of the car, still talking to the phone. I look back and my car is rolling. I forgot to put it in park. All four kids are in my car. I'm doing a radio to be in the car. It's just rolling forward. I still talking. I jump back in the car. It's just rolling forward. I still talking. I jump back in the car, like throw it in park, get back out and continue the interview. We all survived.

We made it, but I was like, oh my goodness, that could have been just a disaster, but literally, yeah. Just forget to put my car in park. And there's times when I've left the kids at track practice, I've done all the things. Oh yeah. So, you know, as a mom did the happen. I've left the kids at trash practice. I've done all the things. Oh yeah. So, you know, as a mom, I've left my, I got a call from my daughter and she's like, where are you?

And I was like, I'm at Walmart with your brother. She's like, well, track is over. And I was like, okay, well, I'm going to be an hour late picking you up because I forgot about you. I forgot. Yeah. It happened it. Yeah. It happened. It happened.

You know what's really pathetic? Corey, in my calendar, I have to put in pick up child number one at 230, pick up child number two at 330, pick up child, like I have to put it in there. Yeah. Because there's like you said the mental taps and it's like you're not a bad, doesn't make me a bad mom. Right. It just means I got a lot of my plate and I'm actually trying to remember to pick my kids. That's right. You got a lot going on. One of the things too, I love that you talked about, because I think that is just about in that burnout and that season where you feel burnout. And I think we talk a lot about about saying no to a lot of things and that is such an

important word, no is important word and like finding the things that are important that you mentioned, what are your your glass balls and what are your plastic balls that you can just put down. But that that no is so important. And I remember times in my life where like I had to let go of things that I prior seasons was good at. Like I would was the one who hosted the showers or was the one who hosted the showers or was the one who like took food to somebody, but then there were times my life where I was so busy that I just had to say like,

nope, I cannot be that person right now. I cannot do that because I have to do the things that are on my plate and right in front of me. But also you talk about saying yes to the things that bring you joy and I just love that thought and I feel like that's something that speaks to me because I I have to regularly remind myself of that of like saying like yeah oh I'm gonna do the fun thing and and it's okay to like go just do something that's fun that just brings you joy

totally I'd love to hear a little bit more about that and how that works in your life. Absolutely well you mentioned burnout burnout like, there's a difference between, I'm just exhausted and burnout. And like burnout is when you feel like you're at the end of the end of the end of the end of yourself and you're short and exacting with people, you're not yourself. And that happened to me last summer.

And I was like, I was burnout on motherhood. It wasn't burnout on my jobs. It wasn't burnout on anything else. I was just burnout on being a mother. And so we always hear, you know, like, well, first of all, like the majority of mothers are burnt, burn out at some level. The majority of people today are feeling burnout and mental exhaustion at some level. And we always hear, you know, say no to things, say no to things, draw boundaries.

You have boundaries at work, but where are your boundaries at home? You know, then it becomes just white noise. I'm saying no, I'm saying no. And you start saying no to so many things that you're also saying no to the things that once brought you some joy. So a friend of mine, her name is Jessica Kim. She's just a wonderful founder. She's the founder of Ionicare, which is a caregiving company. She has, she's the founder of Ionicare, which is a caregiving company. She says, when I'm feeling burned out, what I do is I put, I add something, I say yes to

something that has brought, that brings me joy. And it could just be something frivolous. It can be something really fun. Like for me, I saw this yoga studio and it was trapeze yoga. So you're like hanging from a ceiling with these silks. And I was like, I'm going to try that. You know, that sounds super fun. Like I love to do that sort of thing, just try something new. And I'm like, I'm gonna say yes to that. And that was in the season where I was extracting. And I'm like, but I'm gonna say yes to that. That really, I can't, I know it just

was, it doesn't sound like a lot, but seeing yes to something that brings you joy, seeing yes to something that brought me joy was a game changer. And I think it's really important, you know, if mommy happy, nobody happy, it won't want, you know, we hear that all the time, but that's not this. This is say yes to something that brings you joy, true joy. Like wow, this is going to be so fun. It might be something I've never tried before. Say yes to it. And make sure that you're saying yes to that one thing

that brings you joy, along with saying no to the things that you don't want to do in this season. And like for me, it's always about my, everything comes back to my why, why am I doing what I'm doing in this season? Because I think it's seasonal. We're different things in different seasons. I'm saying yes and no to the things that I'm saying yes and no to because I want to be real present with my kids. I want to be the one that drops them off, picks them up. I want to go to all

their sporting events. Like I want to be really, really involved in their lives physically. You know, so that that's my motivator for everything that I do. That's why I say yes to think this way. I say, notifings, but saying yes to some things. It's it's really fun. Say yes to something that brings you joy. I think that's so great. I think that's a great. I feel like Willie has taught me that. He's really good at that. I don't know if like men in general are better at that than women, but like, you know, in all of a day, if you can, he puts on his golf shoes and goes out and hits some golf balls and just does something fun, you know, in a whole day, if you can, he puts on his golf shoes and goes out and hits some golf balls and just does something fun, you know.

And that Miller talks about that a lot about how just implementing that play into your life and how sometimes we lose that. And yeah, and life just becomes, and it doesn't have to be. You can just say yes to that. Totally. Like, yoga actually did that one time too.

And it had like, do you have sore hips after that? It was kind of painful. Did you like it? I did and I loved it, but maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment. You just mentioned, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it because I loved doing something different like that too.

I'm with you. I'm like, oh, I'll just try something different and that is fun to me too, but it was kind of painful for me. But go ahead. I agree though. It's not for everybody, but like I went, the class I went to, like it was a bunch of like 70-year-old women and I was like, oh, they cannot show me up. They can't show me up. I'm like in my forties. I'm like, but they were incredible and agile. But yeah, do something. Something

that maybe you lose yourself in Craig Graschel talks about how burnout he was at the end of the day. And he just had to do some things that where he could just literally lose himself in it. Like, you know, pilot training, or jujitsu, something where you just, you can turn the page where you don't have to, you can just be, and I'm losing myself mode. Like I need to get myself back. It's really, really important to our sanity,

to our spiritual health, to our emotional health, to our mental health, all of it. I think so too. Well, I love- No more trapezioga for you, Paul. No, that was not pay. I did it once. That's what-

That's more something. Something exactly, like I love, I'm the one that's like every new class. I'm like, I'm gonna try it, you know? And just adding that fun, but then I also can get in seasons where I'm like not doing anything fun. And I'm just like working all day and then I'm so, so busy and just feel like that, that feel that stress and no, okay, I need to

I feel the burden because you haven't said anything to anything. That brings me joy. Yeah. So I love that we've had this conversation and I love that Sadie's gonna get to listen to this conversation because she's right in the middle of this of a new mom and because she's right in the middle of this, of a new mom, and what does that look like, and how do you figure out how to find the balance, or whatever balance looks like, and all the things as a new mom. So this is gonna be such an encouragement to her,

and such an encouragement to, I know everyone who has listened. I was thinking about, you know, as we've been talking is just this idea that like, you know, we can't, you mentioned seasons and like we can't find our identity in our work or even in our being a mom because those things change. Totally. And you're a mom forever, of course, much your mom.

But still that season, those things change and whenever you are experienced, I know, I've experienced like, you feel like you're failing at work or you're failing at being a mom or something like that? If your whole identity is based in that, then you can definitely like lose yourself in it and feel burned out. But just thinking about how, you know, identity has to be found in Christ. And that's what eternal. That's what doesn't change. But, you know, all the things I tell, I talk a lot about with, because I'm around a lot of young girls

because I dot my daughters are like in their 20s and all their friends and all that. And I just see this like this, kind of this like anxiety building up of like, what am I gonna do with my life? Like what is it supposed to be? And you know, at the age, I'll be 50 this year. And I can look back and just say like,

you don't, you have so much time. You can do it all. You can be 50 this year. And I can look back and just say like, you know, you have so much time. You can do it all. You can be a student now. You can be a mom. There you can work. You can have a job. You can, you can be a say-it-home mom for a while. And then you can be a working mom for a while. Then you can go back to be a say-home. You can do it all. And just, just try to encourage young people out there who are watching or listening or watching, just to know that like don't put all that on yourself, you don't have to carry it all like Paul says. I think that's just the title right there and the book was so good. I was so blessed by getting to read it and prepping for this conversation. Thank you, Corey. Thank you for sharing. It was the book and Carrie was kind of birthed out of my

own story of Coll calling where I felt like God was calling me to something different. And if I could just speak real quick before we go a little bit of life into anyone that's listening, you're going to be called a different things in different seasons. Yes. And I think we're so, we're so quick to answer that question that we've been asked since we were little. What do we want to do when we grow up?

Guess what? Like God's going to call you to a myriad of different things in different seasons. Don't back yourself into a corner, give yourself permission to try new things and new seasons. For me, this is a season of calling, you know, really pursuing carry and advocating for working moms

got paid as something different for me in five, 10 years. I don't know, but I hold it loosely knowing where my identity is. It's not in what I do. It's in who I am and who I'm doing it for. Always remember that. And, you know, if you love what you do so much that it defines you, if you can't walk away and still not know who you are, then there's an issue there. But give yourself permission. You will be called to different things in different seasons. You don't have to pick one thing for the rest of your life. God's giving you talents and gifts that that will transfer into different seasons of life. I thought I could only be a broadcaster because I was curious and a question asker and Nozie turns out I can be an

entrepreneur and a founder in this season. I use those same gifts. Give yourself permission to try new things in new seasons knowing that your worth isn't work and your value is not just your vocation and your calling isn't just your career. So if I could just speak a little life into that. Absolutely. I love that. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for being with me today.

This was so much fun. Thank you. Go walk your new baby. Absolutely will.