WHOA That's Good Podcast - Before You Say 'I Do' | Sadie Robertson Huff | Laney Rene | Sarah Cash | Gracie Tucker

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

Sadie's three good friends and former housemates — Laney (Rene) Pickens, Gracie Tucker, and Sarah Cash — are joining her to talk about dealbreakers for a potential spouse. Is age a dealbreaker? What about a difference in religion? Or having a past? And does the relationship you're in bring you peace? Laney and Sarah both share how they met their (now) husbands, and Gracie catches them all up on dating apps, casual dating, and why she's okay with waiting as long as it takes for God to bring her the right man to be her husband. This Episode of WHOA That's Good is Sponsored By: Upgrade your sleep with Miracle Made! Go to https://trymiracle.com/WHOA  and use the code WHOA to claim your FREE 3 PIECE TOWEL SET and SAVE over 40% OFF. https://hiyahealth.com/WHOA — Get 50% off your first order today! https://thechosenlastsupper.com — Get your tickets for the 3-part theatrical release of The Chosen: Last Supper now! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up everybody? I hope you're having a great day and I sure am having a great day. I'm so excited for this episode because I have some of my very best friends in the world, like sister type friends here in the house today and I I've had, I guess, almost everybody on. Sarah is the, she's the diva. It's just hard. It's hard to get, not from a lack of trying, have tried to get Sarah on many times, but she's rocking and rolling,

and we finally got her in the house, along with Gracie and Lainey. For those who don't know, we are the HarHars. I don't know how you would know that, because I don't know if we ever went public with that. We didn't. Except for comments on pictures. Har Har. But we are truly best friends. We all became friends at a really unique stage of our life. Early 20s. We were all relatively single as in we have been dating people, but we were not married yet. And we were not, none of us were dating

the person we did marry when we met. So, we met at that time in life. We also were all not quite sure the path that God had us on. Sarah had a maga day, if you've ever been to Franklin, Tennessee, and shopped maga day, that's Sarah's store. So you had a clear direction, but, and then I had the vision for LO, we're walking in it. Gracie, that was before Milkshake Bar.

Yeah, I had no clue. That was before so much. You were in high school when we met, actually. I know. Which is so crazy. Yeah, it's wild. But you were a really cool high schooler. Yeah.

I remember when we met you and you were wearing those like fake glasses. I was a phase. I was such a hipster remember when we met you and you were wearing those fake glasses. That was a phase, I was such a hipster for two months and you met me then. It was the night that you looked so old, remember? And then you started talking and we were like. You're like, she's 11. Okay, well like, you know how when you think back

to when you met someone, you're like, man I had such a different perspective of you than who you actually are? And thinking like, you wearing like fake hipster glasses and you were about to leave for Greece for a modeling trip. So like you were like the coolest hipster, legitimate worldwide model. Honestly, hipster was in though. That was 2017. Hipster was in. Hipster was everything. Yeah. Hipster was everything. I committed was everything. Yeah, hipster was everything.

I committed. You were full committed, and you were Sarah's little sister, but you were crushing it, and we were like, she's cool. And then, Lane, you were beat bopping around. You were back up, literally hip hop dancing. And you're no longer doing that, necessarily. Or are you? Not really.

I'm like, are you? It's only at home, my kitchen. Only on Instagram. Lainey would always like inspire Gracie, Sarah and I to go to these hip hop classes. One problem, it wasn't just like hip hop workout classes. It was like the place where legitimate hip hop dancers go. And it's like when you see those videos on Instagram and you know they line up at the end and everyone's like, yeah, yeah.

There's like three people in the middle and they're crushing it. Like that's where we were. And we didn't dance like Lady. I needed y'all there though. Y'all were my like, my confidence. Y'all can dance. We, it's not just genetics. Like for real, even when you try to teach me like a TikTok dance or something, physically it's not in the cards. Y'all were another level. That was my best. That was my best work.

We were trying. My favorite is when y'all sing. Oh, that's my favorite thing too. I'm getting better every day. Dancing and singing is not the strong suit, But when we were at those hip hop classes, I'll never forget, it was so funny. It would happen every time. The instructor would come over and they'd kind of be like,

oh yeah, we're glad y'all are here, you know? And they'd look at me and they're like, oh, we're so glad you're here. You were kind of like getting some of them, like yeah, thank you. And then they'd be like, and you, you are a dancer. Like, you need it. And I'm like, did you bring us here

so that we could hide from you? Probably, probably. No, no issue. Lainey would always get asked, like, be in the middle of those dances, and we never got asked. Never? No. I was in the back wall against the wall.

Can I actually tell y'all something? I have like a, I'm like ruining it for all the future events that I'm in this situation, but at a wedding or something, anytime somebody puts me in the dance circle, one, I'm like, for all the future events that I'm in this situation. But at a wedding or something, anytime somebody puts me in the dance circle, one, I'm like, I kinda hate you. But I always do this. I'm like, I wiggle wiggle, and then I,

I do the fishing pole. I do the fishing pole to the most outgoing person who I know wants to do the split. And I reel them in. That is smart. Because you can't not go in or else they pour gas on the fire and it's awkward. So I'm like, I'm going in and I'm going to do the fishing pole.

So actually like a memory that actually makes me cringe about myself was at our wedding, it was probably the fifth time we got thrown into the middle of the dance circle and at five you're like, I'm out. Like I'm actually cool with the first time I had my move. I know what I'm going to do. Everyone cheers. It's great. Two, I'm not that great. Three, I was like stretching. Four, it was bad. But five, what are you supposed to do? And me and Christian both got

thrown in. And I remember we just like lifted each other like and it was, I can't even tell you what, it was so awkward and I just remember Xander, Christian's cousin, be like, yeah! Like starting to clap for us, and I was like, oh, I gotta get out of this. It's so funny. But today, we are gonna talk about all kinds of things, but we have been kind of on a relationship kick lately because a lot of people have been asking us

about relationship questions, and specifically deal breakers for potential husbands, which I thought y'all would be a really fun group of people to talk about this with, because we all walk through each other dating so many different people, some more than others, and we all helped each other through what's a deal breaker, what's okay,

what's preference, what's this, what's that, and then ultimately got to find our spouses. Gracie's still on the, I wouldn't even say the search, because she's- Gracie's still living and technically, I am single actually, I said technically. Nating no one, I haven't texted anybody in like months. It's no technical needed.

But you are in the process right now of like what to do a dual breaker for you. And to be fair, like I'm inspired by your dating abilities because you always have a date. Like you haven't not dated somebody. You haven't not gone on a date. You haven't dated someone in a while, but I feel like you've gone on a lot of dates. Yes. Because I don't live there anymore. Sarah, you want to speak to what you see in Gracie's singleness right now with her

dating. What does that look like? Um, I'm terrified. Like that's a hard question. Okay. So Gracie is the biggest catch of any single girl that I know. She's awesome. So, and she's beautiful and she's like, guys of course would wanna go on dates with you, but any guy asking a girl on a date is a hard, like guys don't just ask girls on dates

all the time anymore. So it's like, I've seen, Gracie obviously wants to try, like you can't sit on your couch and be sad about being single if you're not going where the young people go or the single people go or like she plays pickleball and goes to church and like not that she does those things only to meet a person, but that's where like those are common interests and things that matter to her.

So putting yourself where single people are. And then I say like, go with what you have peace on. But for a little bit, Grace is on dating apps and meeting like great people on a dating app. And then, you know, giving them a shot, saying yes, going to dinner. Even just to like normalize the, not every date you say yes to, or that you ask a girl out to

means you're gonna marry them. Like you can go on a date and get to know someone and have a good time and like part ways and thanks so much. I don't see a future or go out another time. But I do feel like you do a great job of putting yourself where people you could be interested in are and then also putting yourself out there and not being afraid to talk, but also know your worth and not get so much

of your value or identity or worth out of if someone asks you out again or doesn't ask you out. That's really good. That was like, whoa, that's good. I'm not even kidding. This is why we've been wanting you on for so long. Cause like, within a one minute answer about that, I feel like that speaks so much wisdom to so many people.

Like if you're single, yes, like you can't just sit on the couch and be like, oh, I wish I was dating someone. Like you do have to put yourself in certain scenarios where you might meet somebody. Like that's such good advice, but then also like know your worth and know your value. And don't get too desperate that it's like anybody.

I love that you also said that when it comes to dating, there is something to be said about like, not every date do you have to think you're gonna marry this person to go on a date. Like there is something to like casually dating. And I think this gets a little bit tricky like within the church because so many people are like, date to marry, date to marry.

And you hear that and it's like true, but also I think that puts so much pressure on people it's like not even want to go on a date yeah because they're like well what if I what if I don't see myself marry it was like how would you know yeah I feel like we talked about that a lot because you I grew up very much like you only date pretty much if you know you're gonna marry somebody whereas I felt like not that my parents put that on me, but I feel like when we started dating, we were so, we started being friends.

When we started dating. You were dating so much and I was like not dating at all. Once I ended that long relationship and then it was like, wait, these two need to merge. You needed to chill and I needed to pick it up a little. Just be more open, which led to funny dates. But also, I don't think I would have been open to date Clayton had I not had that first

where I changed some perspectives. Because him being three and a half years younger than me at first I was like, no way. Like I am not. He's in college. But y'all were like, give him a chance. And then I went on a date and I ended up marrying him. You know, see, that's good because the whole thing's like potential deal breakers. And some people do say age is a deal breaker. Like to be three and a half years younger and I remember Sarah,

literally she goes, oh no. Ate her words. Oh. Because when Laney started dating Clayton and he was three and a half years younger, Sarah what did you say, remind us? I think I said, like I just would never date anyone younger than me.

And yet you married the youngest one of all. They're five years apart, right? Four and a half. Four and a half. Don't ask us how old we are right now. But ask in October when he turns 26. Let her do her math however she wants. But you know, this is the first time I thought of that,

but you dating Clayton being younger is probably one of the main reasons that my mind was even open to dating someone younger, because I was like, oh, not so weird. Yeah. You know, just seeing, that's cool, I haven't thought someone younger because I was like, oh, not so weird. You know, just like seeing, that's cool. I haven't thought about that. And for me, honestly- You should kind of normalize the younger men.

Yeah, we all. Yeah, so Grace is younger. So if you're younger than me, you're graduating high school this year. What's your number? Go ahead, say your number. Oh my gosh. There is a line.

There is a line. There is a line. 18. Yeah. There is a line. There is a line. There is a line. 18, no. Yeah. There is a line. There is a line. Wait, what would it be? You're 26?

I'm on the brinks of 26, so let's say I'm 26. I think 21 and a half. So 21 and a half. If you're 21, leave a comment. I'm just kidding. People are gonna like, hide their cells from me. I'm not looking for a 21 and a half, but if he was 28, one,

it's not a deal breaker. Exactly. That's the thing, because you get in your mind, you're like, I'm not gonna do this, I'm not gonna do that. Because for me, whenever I'm at Christian, I'm like, he's younger, he's in a fraternity, he's like, and you start to go, no, no, no. But those things don't define who he is.

Yes, yeah. And I ended up being grateful because for me, I felt like I had wasted years dating somebody and I felt like God was like, I'm going to redeem the years by sending somebody who had not even just walked those last few years of life. And I got to restart. That's what I felt like. Yeah. So sweet. So that was really cool. And Clayton is an old soul.

He is such an old soul. He's a grandpa. Yeah. Yeah. So sweet. Mm-hmm. Okay, y'all, I just cannot get over the fact that traditional bedsheets can hold more bacteria than a toilet seat. That is giving me the ick for sure.

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piece towel set and save over 40% off. Again, that's trymiracle.com slash woe to treat yourself. and save over 40% off. Again, that's trymiracle.com slash woe to treat yourself. When I think about that whole idea of dating to marry, what I got it wrong was that like, yes, I went on a lot of different dates, but I wouldn't make it so serious so fast because I was like, I have to see if we're gonna marry.

I'm dating to marry, yeah. So within two months, we'd already have said I loved you, we'd already had like talked about getting married. And then it made the breakup so horrible because it was like, oh, you just said I love you, we just said, but I was, and so I regret how I did that, but it was with the mindset of like, oh, well, if I'm dating this person,

then like, if it's gonna get serious, then we have to get married. And that was like a flaw of my thinking. And so whenever I started dating Christian, it slowed down so much. And by the time we were like two months into dating, we hadn't even like officially made it a thing that we were even dating.

Like we had just been talking, getting to know each other, like hanging out. I was listening to y'all's conversations outside the window and I was like, you're like, this is not. This is more than friendship. Yeah, this is more, it was more than friendship, but it wasn't like, it was different from anything.

Anything I'd ever experienced. We were truly like getting to know one another and had like chemistry, but we weren't forcing anything. I wasn't forcing anything, and that was so good for me. But Gracie, what does it look like to casually date for you right now? Like, I love what you said about even dating apps. Like, are you on dating apps?

Do you think they're good? That's a hot trick. Yeah, all right, I'm the single one, so I gotta fill y'all in. Okay, so dating apps, there have been times where I was not on them, and then there are times where I'm like, I prayed about it, I feel good about it, I was on them, right now I'm not,

but that's just because I'm kind of busy with work, and I'm like, I don't know if it's actually the right timing for me to be seeking that out. If it were to happen, awesome. But, okay, here's how I think about it. If I am like 10 years down the road and I'm still not married, that's gonna be fine with me. Like I've kind of decided like,

oh, I'd rather wait for the right person in my life and say I get married at, this is so extreme, say I get married at 50, what if I live to be 100, I have 50 happy years. Everyone got scared there, but I would rather wait. I'm not going to be 50, but if I was, I have made peace. You said 10 years. I was thinking you were here like 35, and then 50 was a big right.

I jumped. You might need to edit, OK? Yeah, I'm just saying I'd rather be happy and marry the right person for me for x amount of it. Okay? Yeah, I'm just saying I'd rather be happy and like marry the right person for me for X amount of years. Super important. And just, and there's a lot of takes on everything, okay? But if I get there, I don't wanna get there

and be frustrated that I didn't put myself out there and try. So that's why I try and why I do dating apps and why I'm like, okay, if it takes that long and I was hiding and like I was scared to get hurt, so that's why I didn't date, that's gonna make me feel, I'm not gonna have peace with that, knowing I didn't even try, because I don't wanna get married when I'm 50,

I wanna get married younger. So I'm like, okay, if I want to try, then I should do what people do to try. Unless you just don't have peace, because I talk to some people and they're like, I really like, it makes me so anxious. I don't feel like that's what God has for me. I'm like, okay, awesome.

And then other people, if you do, I say go for it. Because I'm like, if you want a six pack, you go to the gym, right? If you want to get married, maybe you should go where people date. I'm like, word. For me, it's just like that. I'm like, okay.

And I do think for a dating app, we've talked about this before, at least people are on there saying, I'm trying to date. Where like Instagram, you can slide into someone's DMs and then leave them like, it's a game. It's, you're doing that to a lot of people. And not that you can't do that on a dating app,

but I do feel like if you're on there, you're at least saying, I wanna go on a date. This is what I'm trying to do. This is what I'm looking for. And then I also think going back to, I mean, you don't have peace with it right now, but two months ago you did. So your peace can change, you just follow

like the Holy Spirit's leading on that topic and be like hands open about it, which you do really well. On that topic though, I will say this, because dating apps, you get all sorts of people, okay? And you get people who ghost you and never like, I, not on dating apps, I think anybody who's dating has had people treat them in ways that are so hurtful. Like I've had that and I've had that from people,

somebody set me up with, so not even dating apps, and being ghosted, I'm like, oh my gosh, that hurts my feelings. But then I have to land on this. I'm like, the way that people treat you when they're dating you is not a reflection of what you're worth as a person, or if you're good or pretty or whatever, they're literally just telling you, this is my character.

So if somebody ghosts you, that has nothing to do with you. What kind of guy ghost somebody? It's him, not you. And same for guys. I've had, I know guy friends who are like, have been ghosted or just kind of people, because it is so casual sometimes, thinking it's fine to just disappear or,

yeah, so I see both. Yeah, and it can be casual and you can still honor the other person for being human. Exactly. Yes. And like, yeah. That's what I was about to say, like, casually dating is not to say

that you're not intentionally dating. Like, you're still being intentional with the respect you have for someone, the respect you have for someone, the respect you have for yourself, the time that you're spending, but you're not going, I have to marry this person. You know, it's that, it's that line of like, we're gonna, you know, take this slow,

but we're gonna be intentional about it and actually get to know each other. And even if it's not the right person and you need to get out of the relationship, you can do it respectfully. You can do it kindly. you can do it kindly, you can do it in a way that honors that person and it doesn't need to be like a confusing thing

or a ghosting thing or even a dramatic thing. Like you said, you can say, that was a great time, I don't think this is like the best fit, but like thank you for taking me out, you know? I just think that's sweet. Okay, so not everyone knows each of our stories on how we met our husbands, but I think it'd be sweet to kind of reflect

on some of that because we were all there for most of it. And so Sarah, tell a little bit about how you met Martin and how y'all's dating started, all different things, when you knew he was the one, because I love y'all's story. It is so sweet. It's sweet. So I met Martin on the frisbee field,

ultimate frisbee at church, at like young adults, like Friday night, we went to service and then you played ultimate frisbee till like midnight, every Friday night. And so we met on the field and I shook his hand and I remember thinking, one, his handshake is so strong. So when you shake his hand, you like like remember it I actually remember the first time I shook Martin's hand it kind of hurt. Yes it kind of hurt. It hurt my knees actually. I'm not kidding. I made fun of him he's like I thought I was kidding I wasn't.

No we've talked like your handshakes really strong which is a good thing but it's yeah so anyways it's very memorable I was like oh my word ow and then also I just had never in the first five minutes of being around him, I'm like, you're a great guy. I don't think I'd ever had that impression right off the bat of like, you might be the best guy I know. And that came also over time of like being around him, being his friend.

But yeah, the first time I met him, I was just like, whoa. And then me and Grace were walking back out to our cars. And she was like, you thought that Martin guy was cute. And I was like, no, I didn't. And she was like, yeah, it's all over your face, which I literally can't have my face to save my life, like what I think is on my face. And you were running really fast on that Frisbee field.

She was like, putting in double time. I was like, I've never seen Sarah run like this. I think I got really good at Frisbee starting that night. You were trying to impress him. Not that you're not athletic, but you are the most competitive non-athletic person I've ever met. Me too.

I am not very good at things, but I will give 100% trying to be good and thinking maybe I can get there. But I also have gotten a lot more athletic since Mary Martin. Wow. Just saying he's put me. She's really training. From the time you were on the Frisbee. Yeah, Frisbee field really up my effort. Anyways, we were like friends for,

I think actually two weeks later, I was like, we need to have a party at our house. We all lived in Nashville and by party, I mean, come play games. So we had a game night at our house and I like made sure he knew he was invited, but not from me. I had a friend like,

hey, you should, are you coming to this? So we hung out that night. I found out how old he was. And at the time- All the people, the time. I mean the age. I was 24 and he was 19, not yet 20. And so I was like, oh, that's too young.

Like I can't do that. So literally just like we were friends for a while around each other at church. Actually, I think he was 20. I think he was almost 20. Cause I remember the 19. I remember the 19. I remember the 19.

I can still picture him standing in the kitchen cause I knew who I was looking for. I was like, there he is. Yes. Okay, so he was 19. Anyways, we were like friends, COVID happened. He had just turned 20 like right after that. So he was 20 during.

Yeah, he wasn't 19. I remember him being an emphasis on that. He's almost 20. He's almost 20. So anyways, I was around him and just thought this is the greatest guy. I know everything he did. Just like, wow, he's awesome.

And then we were friends, played ping pong, things were shut down. We had one of our friends who still lived at home and we would go over to his parents' house and like play ping pong and go out for tennis and stay up late talking, hanging out. And then I threw out to him, we were at my house, having a bunch of people over doing game nights.

And I kind of like threw out the softball of, I would love to finish this conversation. We should hang out sometime. And then two days later, he texts me, we hung out for the first time till like really early in the morning. And then we just never stopped hanging out, the two of us. Like the first time we were alone together was like, wow.

And then I think I knew, this is crazy actually. Well, my first thought was that our second date, we stayed out, we did a lot of crazy things. We could have been arrested. Like, but this is all- Okay, Sarah, you're making this sound so bad. We stayed up till the morning and like tell people that- But it's so-

I remember in the sense- When y'all were dating, like in this, We stayed up till the morning and like tell people that But it's so hard to remember that When y'all were dating like in this I remember like it like on paper would have looked bad But y'all were so sweet and innocent about it. There was so much purity in it. Y'all just like loved being around each other Yes, we were just two best friends What was it when y'all were at Leapers and Wasn't it in Leapers and you guys stayed? We did. We just talked like all night. All night long.

Yeah. And we literally sat by a fire, five feet apart, talking for like hours. But I do remember it was that night, we like watched the sunrise. I don't know if this is bad to say to a, okay. Anyways. It's true to your story.

It is. Edit out the 50 part. That was extreme. Yeah, please. No, that's not to your story. I'm just kidding. Edit out the 50 part, that was extreme. Yeah, please. No, that's funny. I liked it. That's so funny. Anyways, I just remember feeling like,

whether I marry this guy or not, this is what it feels like to have peace, to feel like I'm not trying to impress him, I don't have to say the right thing, or backtrack, or explain myself. Like, this is, I had never felt that around a guy before. Like my heart is at rest. I remember that.

And then I think I knew I was gonna marry him like shortly after that, but I kept it to myself. And you know, we had conversations where he was like, I'm terrified I'm gonna hurt you. And I'm like, you know what, if you do, God will pick up my heart and put it back together like he's done before. You don't have to be scared of that.

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So make sure you go to hyahealth, h-i-y-a-h-e-a-l-t-h.com slash woe, w-h-o-a, and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. I love that. I remember that. And it was like, it was like fairy tale in the sweetest way. It was just so sweet and innocent. And I wanna address this because multiple times,

I think all of y'all have said something along the lines of go where your peace is, having peace, not having peace. And to some of our listeners, this might be like the first time you've ever heard that kind of language. Like, what does that mean? And I remember in a relationship I was in years ago, way before Christian,

and I was debating whether I need to break up or get out of this relationship. And I remember a mentor, I called a mentor, explained to her the situation, definitely hid some details of the situation, and she said to me, do you have peace? And I remember saying to her, I don't even know if I know what that means.

Like, I don't even know if I know what peace feels like. And then she's like, well, then you don't. You know, that's your sign. And I remember thinking, man,, nothing about this relationship represents peace. There's so much confusion, there's so much hurt, there's so much heartbreak, there's so many tears, there's so much, and it did not reflect peace at all. And so to hear your story, it's so beautiful to say,

this is the first time my heart was at rest in a relationship. I wasn't overthinking what I was saying, I wasn't questioning what he was thinking. And I remember thinking that with Christian. There's never one day in our entire relationship I ever questioned where I stood with him. I ever wondered if he was gonna reach out to me that day. I ever wondered if he cared for my heart

or was thinking about me. I always knew that. It was just like, my soul was at rest. There was never like, it just wasn't confusing. It wasn't confusing. It was just like, there was such an ease to it. And so that's what it looks like to have peace. And I do think that like, even when things get hard,

because you're in a relationship, you're gonna have arguments, you still have a peace. You still have like, this is where I'm supposed to be. This is who I'm supposed to be with. And that's from the Lord. Like it says in the word, like perfect love casts out all fear, you know? And that's obviously the love of God,

but you sense that even in relationship when you're with people. And that can go into not just who you're dating, but how you do everyday life. Like Gracie said, should I be on this dating app? Should I not? Am I confused by it? Am I overthinking it? Am I stressed by it? Am I overthinking it?

Am I stressed by it? Am I striving in it? No peace, delete the app. That could be on, do I need social media right now? I mean, that question, do I have peace, can be a guideline for like your whole life. And it's really just like, it's the Holy Spirit in this, you know?

And so I love that. I just wanted to bring that up because Christian actually has brought that up about our friendship. He's like, I've never heard more, I've never heard it said more times, do you have peace than hanging out with y'all? Like I remember we were dating

because not everybody talks like that, you know? So I just wanted to address that. And I think that's so beautiful. Sarah, just touch on a little bit. What was different, if you feel comfortable talking about this, about Martin than past relationships you had been in. Everything.

Truly. I think he was so set on like, we're just being friends. Almost to a point, Laney would call me like, are you a girlfriend yet? Are you a girlfriend yet? Like, no, I'm not, we're just being friends. Like almost to a point, Lainey would call me like, are you a girlfriend yet? Are you a girlfriend yet? Like, no, I'm not a girlfriend. But it was him being so like intentional

and he wanted to get to know me and not in a romantic context. We didn't kiss for months, like, which is very new to me. Cause all I knew was I like a guy, I kiss a guy. And yeah, it was just different. He was so respectful. He, gosh, I don't know. Everything was different.

I'd never. Well, I think that's, I wanted to ask you that because, you know, when you were like, when we stayed up till the morning, and you're like, is that okay to say? And I'm like, in your past relationships, it wasn't okay to say. In that relationship, it was,

because it was done the right way. And I think that that's so beautiful, because some people might be listening and be like, oh, she's perfect. It's like, no, you have a past, but this was a redemption, this was something new. And some people ask, can you find redemption if you've had past relationships that are broken?

All of us can say, yes. Like, yes, and you can do it differently. Like, it does not, it shouldn't look the same. Your redemption story is gonna look like redemption. It's gonna look different. It's gonna look like, oh, we stayed up till the morning and it wasn't bad. It was beautiful and pure and there,

we didn't even kiss for months. Like, it's just so cool to see how God did so much in your heart before you met Martin. And then when you met Martin, it's just so cool to see how God did so much in your heart before you met Martin. And then when you met Martin, it was like a fairytale. Like it was just such a beautiful story. And it's so cool. Now you'll have Ryman.

And that's so cool. If you saw at the opening of this podcast, watch on YouTube so you can see the cuteness. He's ridiculously cute. He is. He is ridiculously cute. He really is. He was cute from day one too.

And that's not always the case. Listen, we prepared ourselves for the worst. And his head was perfect too. Babies come out. His head was perfect. It's been round. Yep. Probably that little head.

He's a cutie boy. He's a cutie boy. All right, Layne, we were literally all there the night you met Clayton. And can you just also, for the sake of the story, give us some of just the attitude going into the night that you met Clayton. Attitude!

Wait, what? They need the full scoop. You did not wanna go. You did not wanna go. You did not. You did not. Okay, so for context. I was not, something was going on.

Okay, I'll tell you what was going on. Okay, tell me. Tell me what was going on. It was me. So. Because you were dating again, and I wasn't. something was going on. I'll tell you what was going on. Okay, tell me. Tell me what was going on. It was me. So. You were dating again and I wasn't. That is what happened. Yeah.

So Laney's dad. I was sad. Laney's dad, this is very sweet, always said to us, like, y'all need to pray you meet your husbands at the same time. So therefore we were praying that and we wanted to meet our husbands at the same time. And so I met Christian in July.

Y'all were also all there the night I met Christian. And we all met Christian. And then we started talking like right after that, but I was telling y'all, and I was telling myself, we're just friends. Like we're literally just friends. But right after Christian was like, hey, I want to take you on a date.

And I was like, now's really not a good time. Because I had just told all y'all that I was not going to date. December or something. Six months. Yes. And got it on film. And got it on film. We'll post the video.

It's pretty funny. I say the date and everything. July the 2nd, 2018. Yeah. Yeah, that was it. And anyways, I boldly say I'm not going to date anybody for a while, and I'd say until December, and I said, and I'm sticking to it so much

so that you can pick out my outfit when I go on my first date. And I didn't wanna pick out the outfit, did I? Well, no, because things happen faster. So I met Christian the next day. He asked me on a date. I said, I'm gonna need to wait a little bit. So I said, how about September?

And he's like, that's two months away. I was like, exactly. I need some time. So from that point on, we just got to know each other. Well, we still had that date in September to come. And I really wanted all y'all to know him and get to know him because that was something I'd never really done is like date

in like the group setting kind of thing. You know, when people like go on like group. group so I was like why don't we all go to the Luke Bryan concert? Because Luke was coming in to play and my mom was coming in For it Bell was coming everyone. So like this is perfectly everyone can hang out around me and Christian and like we can see if this Is a good thing Well while we were there Lainey was not so happy because when I was dating outside of the timeline I said, couple months earlier,

and you were as a friend holding me to what I said, and you were also like, we're supposed to meet our husbands at the same time, here you are again, and you hadn't started dating anyone yet, so you were frustrated, so you didn't wanna go that night. I think I was caught in between like,

what's a good friend move right now. That's giving myself the benefit of the doubt. But like. I was just trying to be the best friend. And that is true. That is actually true. Deep, deep down. That actually is true.

Deep, deep down. That is what was true. And I was like, do I tell her, no, you can't do this? Because you said, no, but do I tell her she can't do this? You're a loyalist through and through. Yes, that's true. Or do I support this? And in my mind, let her get her heart broken or something.

Like truly, I was like, this is gonna hurt. And I've seen you hurt. So am I gonna watch you hurt again? And so that's really what was going on in my mind. You actually were being a good friend, genuinely. But then from there, once I saw things progressing and saw that things were really good, I should have changed sooner,

but it was hard for me to revert and get on that path and be supportive. But once I had a ring on my finger, you changed your mind. I did, I did. And I think we've told this story before, but I did. I sat down with Christian and from my whole heart, I was like, I am so sorry because you do not deserve to be treated like this.

And we had a moment. Because I would be like, Lainey's the best. She's my best friend ever. And every time you're around him, you're like. Yeah, I was watching like Arrow with me.ey's like the best. Like she's my best friend ever. And every time you're around him, you're like. Yeah, I was watching like Sarah with me. It's like the claws out, you know? Yes, it's like you're protecting the good friend. But you were being a good friend,

because you had to. It's love, yes. And I needed a good friend. I needed someone to tell me like the truth. And so that was an interesting time of nap. And I think some of those hard questions though, helped me to realize that Christian really was the one for me. Because honestly, there were of those hard questions though, helped me to realize that Christian really was the one for me because honestly, there were so many hard questions

from you and family members and what I was doing that like it made me do things so differently with Christian and made me be like, what am I, why am I choosing to like date again? Because it's like, oh, he really is so different. This is like, this is so different. Again, this is my redemption story. This doesn't look like any other of my relationships.

And it took a little bit for everyone to see that. Because- Well, I feel like I could see it. It just was like, It was just new. It was just new and I like, wasn't sure. It was obvious that it was different. Like I can still remember that for sure.

It was obvious. I love that. But I didn't know what to do with that. Yeah. You know, I hadn't seen that either. Yeah. So. I love that. But I didn't know what to do with that. Yeah. I hadn't seen that either. Yeah. And it was new for all of us. It was new for me.

It was new for y'all to see me in that scenario. So up to the first date, this is me and Christian's first time to really hang out. We had a date the day before because he had come in town from Auburn to Nashville. He was staying with his brother Chance, which was such a funny thing. And then we all decided to go to the Brian concert.

So Lainey comes, not really wanting to be there. And so- I think I sat with y'all at a table. It was just like so sad. Yeah. But then it all turned around. Okay, friends, I gotta tell you something that Christian and I cannot get enough of.

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thechosenlastsupper.com. I remember you coming up to me and going, I'm gonna go scout out my options. Which is not like me. Can we just say that's not like me? That's kind of funny. But yeah, I walked out in the middle of the little outdoor area and I started circling. In hindsight, it is cool because at that time, I was praying that I would see my husband first. And he walked by and I just was like, ooh, he's cute. And your mom heard me say, ooh, he's cute.

And then she made it her mission to find out who he is. And then I found out his name was Clayton Pickens. And then I was like, I don't know if I can marry a Pickens. Day one. She's not even that bad of a last name. She's like Pickens. Lainey Pickens, I don't know.

But now I love it. I think it's so cute. It's so funny because when mom saw you all that night, she still claims, she tells, I was with her last week when she told someone, yeah, I actually match made someone who got married, they have two children now, so really good match maker. She claims that.

But I remember that night, you saying he was cute and all that kind of stuff, and then y'all going up and maybe just talking for like six. We didn't know, we didn't even talk. We only said, we said hi when you and I walked up to him. And then after that, y'all, that was like in my season of like, I'm gonna go on dates and I'm gonna like actually just,

really just like instead of ignoring, I'm gonna answer. You know? And I remember y'all were like, you should follow him on Instagram. And so I followed him. I found out he was in college and then I was like, I don't know if I can do that. But y'all talked me into it. And then I ended up following Him. And then at that time, I was putting out some Christian music, you know, and then He posted

one of my songs. And I remember thinking, if He posted my song, He has to have some kind of Jesus bone in His body. And so I just liked his message. And then he says working for Luke Bryan. So you didn't know if he was necessarily in the Christian world or like, you didn't know anything about him. No, I thought he worked security. We all thought he was a security guard.

He used to walk with his arms. Do you all remember that? He would walk with his arms out. He doesn't really do that anymore. But yeah, so then he sent me a DM and said, I can do much better than a hello at a concert. Oh, okay Clayton. Asked me to go to Frothy Monkey.

We went to Frothy Monkey and I remember leaving and just calling my mom like we do. And she was like, well, how was it? And I remember just saying, it just was. And by that, I was basically saying what you said about Martin was just, there was always this sense of like home and peace. Security. Security, yes.

Like it was like, it just was, meant like it was really good. It wasn't weird. He didn't ask me any weird questions. He didn't ask me how long I'd had my bangs, you know? Like he just like, he just felt like, oh, like I can relax. He took care of me.

He paid for our order. I felt like he was like watching out for me already. Like there was just a level of, I could tell he wanted to care for somebody. And at the time, I don't even think he would tell you that he was at that place, but God did that. And I walked out to my car, got in, and then I remember he DM'd me and he sent me his number.

And it was basically just like, if you ever want to again, not like, can I have your number? He kind of just like left it in my court of if you want to call me, I'd love it. And then like you said, like I just never questioned his heart, I never questioned his intention. I had one moment and I don't even think I've actually ever told him this, so this would be kind of funny.

I was gonna bring up this moment actually, at Honest Coffee. I don't know if I, yes, I don't know, were you there, or was it just me and Bella? It was me and Bella, and I remember it so clearly, and I was actually gonna say, can we talk about the Honest Coffee moment? Was it like a month in? It was about a month in, you had,

cause I remember us saying to you, or your mom said to you, you're going on a date, you're not walking down the aisle. Like, keep going on dates, you're not walking down the aisle. Like keep going on dates. You don't need to know yet, you know? Yes, but I think at that time, we were all having so much fun that I was like, is he like fun enough?

Because he was so serious and he was so on top of things. And like, I loved that about him. But at the same time I was like, can he be goofy? And so Bella sat there with me and made a prose and con. I remember this. I don't think I knew this. And my prose were just like- So long.

So long and my cons were like, is he funny? Is he funny? Yeah, that was like it, like is he funny? Is he funny? And I think that was like it. It was like, is he funny? It was like, is he funny? And I think that was like, honestly, a very pivotal moment where I was like, I was pretty sure he was it. And then we went to like this hay ride or something.

I knew you were gonna remember this. I don't think you were there, but I came home from a date and I like went into their bedroom because at the time we shared a bedroom and they shared a bedroom and I went into their bedroom, because at the time we shared a bedroom and they shared a bedroom and I went in their bedroom and I remember crying happy tears because I was like, I just knew.

I felt like the question or the saying, when you know, you know, haunted me my whole life until I met my husband and met him. And it was just like, I get it. When you know, you know, and there is just this peace. And what I was thinking too, we were talking about like, where's your peace? Where's your peace?

I read, when we were on Winter Jam, I would read Proverbs a lot. And I think it's Proverbs 3.17 that talks about her ways are ways of pleasantness and all her paths are peace. And it's talking about wisdom. And like, I think that verse of like, and that talks about her ways are ways of pleasantness and all her paths are peace. And it's talking about wisdom. And I think that verse of, just like you're saying, in life,

there was just so much peace. I never, even in my going, is he funny enough? I never didn't have peace. And I had come from a relationship where I tried so hard to make peace and force peace. And with him, it was just like home, peace. He never took me away from my relationship with God, but actually just affirmed so many things

that I knew about God and knew about his love for me. And yeah, I just, yeah. I love, it's interesting you were reading proverbs at that time, because Christian and I both read through proverbs together-ish, in that time because Christian and I both read through Proverbs together-ish in that time of kind of getting to know each other. Because we were like, I don't want to start talking

about our relationship, let's like read something together. So we started reading Proverbs. And you know, it says in Proverbs at the very beginning, it's like the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. You know, and so I think as you're navigating what like, what a relationship looks like, gaining wisdom, clarity, like And so I think as you're navigating what, like, what a relationship looks like, gaining wisdom, clarity, like, Proverbs is a great place to like be in and be reading

and be praying through as you're walking through some of these things, because it just puts your mind in that right place, that right thinking, because you gotta be intentional about what you're thinking about, you should do the pros and cons, you should look at it, what's a deal breaker, what's a preference? I think when you go,

I remember looking at that day and being like, okay, you have so many things about this man that is genuinely incredible. And then is he fun enough? Now, fair, because you wanna have fun in a relationship. This is supposed to be your best friend. You're gonna go through life with this person. So you do wanna have fun.

But it's like, can y'all get there? And you saw, yes, like we do have fun together. You know, you'll have your own humor. And I remember thinking the same thing with Christian because remember he used to not think it's stating that he was funny. I was like, well, that was another thing.

I asked him, I might be a dual breaker. I remember asking him like, who do you think the funniest person is? Like that he knew. What was your quote? And it took him, he didn't even say me. I, like, who do you think the funniest person is, like, that he knew? What was your question? And it took him. He didn't even say me.

I was like, what? I know. I was like, oh, you don't get it. No, you don't. You're blinded. But, but then Christian got it. And we still have different humors, completely different humors. He loves, like, sarcasm.

I'm over my head. I'm like, love being weird. He's like, what's wrong with you? But then when we're at our house and it's just us, like he's so funny and so crazy. And people ask me like, since y'all got married, you know people ask like, is anything surprising about each other that you didn't know?

I'm like, I did not know how funny he was. I will say that, yeah, same. I did not know, you know? And so those kinds of things can grow and it can come, you know, like as long as I think if they are down to have fun, cause I remember like we would drive from Nashville to Auburn and I would dance the whole time,

like as if he wasn't in the car, which is so funny now looking back. I just had, that was just me. I was confident. And so like we had fun. He didn't have to be the one being crazy. That was more me, but now it's kind of opposite. I found this chill bone in my body,

y'all having kids and like being busy. And he's the one dancing and making me laugh. And so I think like it's sweet. Cause some of those things you, you know, you can't rule out just because you don't see it all in dating. You're not going to see it all when you're dating. You're going to learn so much about them

when you get married. But you do need to be intentional about it and make sure you see those qualities. You know what's so funny, Christian said the other day, because you and Clayton are kind of old souls. Like y'all are both kind of old souls, like sweet, wouldn't hurt a fly. Wait, why am I saying this?

I gotta know. And Christian goes, you know what's so funny? Out of all of our friends, for a lady and Clayton to be the ones that met at a bar. For real? Clayton loves telling that. It's like we met at a bar. It's? Clay loves telling that. It's like, we met at a bar. It's so funny, because y'all are like the most,

you would never think that's your story. So to the point of like dating up, you never know, like you have to keep your heart open. The beach, like who, like that's just crazy. You just never know. You never know when your time is gonna be. Ultimate frisbee, like, it's just so sweet. I wanna get to some of these questions.

These are very specific questions that people have sent in. We'll just touch on a few. This is deep, but let's talk about it. On the note of purity, once you've crossed a line with someone, is it possible to redeem the relationship and go into marriage pure? Anyone wanna tackle that one? If not, I can.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I agree. I think it reminds me of kind of a conversation I had with my mom. I think we've talked about this before, but when I was talking about one of my friends and something they had walked through and like I couldn't get over, I was in a season where I was young and I couldn't get over what my friend had done. And my mom looked at me and she was like,

Laine, like it's the same blood. It either washes you or it doesn't. And I think you have to realize like, His mercies are new every morning. Like, His blood washes you continually. You are righteous because of His blood. It is final. You're not righteous on anything you've ever done on your own. It is the righteousness of Christ. He who knew no sin became sin for us so that we could become the righteousness of Christ.

I didn't understand that as a kid. I didn't understand that in high school even, but that has changed my life completely, realizing whether it's dating, you know what you're talking about, impurity, it's His righteousness. It's not your own. So the answer is absolutely yes,

because it's built on His purity and not your purity. 100%. And that's always there for you. 100%. I remember even that in Christianize, you know, dating, once we had really fallen in love and all the things, like all of a sudden His past being something that intimidated me.

And then you telling me that, like it's the same blood and me realizing like, I can't hold his past against him or even bring that into our relationship. Like that's washed clean by the blood he's been forgiven. He has repented in turn, like God has done that. The cross handled that. So like, who am I to live in that with him? And then also I have a past.

So like, why am I, you know, like why am I comparing it? And so then like needing to then ask for forgiveness in my own heart and in my own life and literally apologizing Christianly. I'm sorry that I took that personal and that I did not see you washing the blood like you are. And it was just a really beautiful, one of my favorite conversations

of nights Christian had ever had was that moment of me really apologizing and understanding what that was. And then in our own relationship later on, when you get engaged, for us having to be like, whoa, too far, you know, like, and separately repent, separately ask the Lord to forgive us, wash us, make us pure, like we wanna do this thing right. We're not trying to cross the line.

But we messed up sometimes. And so I think that 100% you can go impure. And like, I remember on our wedding night, just being like, thank God for the blood that we get to be pure tonight, that we're walking into this. And it's so beautiful only because of the grace of God. I think that's like the secret superpower too,

for setting somebody free. Like when you can share it and you know so deeply that they, that you're righteous because of the blood of Jesus and they're righteous because of the blood of Jesus, then you can truly like forgive and it, or just know that they're forgiven. Like then they're free. Whereas like if Clayton even shared with me stuff he had walked through and I like held it, that causes so much shame and it just keeps it there. But it's like bringing it into the light and just like smiling,

like realizing that they're forgiven and washed just like you are. Then it sets them up to like walk pure, live pure and have a pure relationship. Yep. It's great, Lane. That's so good. We actually got a lot of questions

of how to get over past mistakes that you made and other people made. Like what if he has been divorced? What if she has been divorced? What if they struggle with addiction? What if they have a promiscuous past? What if they have a sexual past? I think that covered all of the past questions and purity questions. Okay, this is an interesting one.

Difference in religion. So a specific question was, I'm Catholic, they are Baptists, I don't want my to bring my kids up in two different churches. We can't find a compromise. So obviously, everything we say here is not the final answer. I think what we've said so many times is, where's your peace? Lean into the Lord. Ask God. The fear of the Lord is beginning of wisdom. But we can speak to experience and maybe what we think is good advice.

Gracie, do you want to speak to that a little bit? Yeah, I can. So as they kind of said, I have gone on lots of dates with a bunch of great guys. But this whole thing is like deal-breakers for when you're going to marry somebody, right? And so yes, go with your peace and really pray about it and seek wisdom and counsel.

But for me, I actually did date somebody who had a different denomination than me. So same beliefs. I'm like, yes, I believe I'll see you in heaven. I know we believe the same thing, but our practices are very different. And so for me, I actually was really hard because I liked him a lot and I wanted to make it work. But I was like, told him right off the bat, I didn't know we had this difference. I need to pray about it and figure out if this is something I can see for myself. And also,

we had to define the lines. I was like, does this mean I have to become like your denomination? Or can we be separate and try and make it work. So we had those conversations of, can we compromise? And then, yeah, I just prayed about it. And kind of what that person said, I don't want my kids to be confused when I say one thing and the dad says something else, because faith is confusing enough. And following Jesus is like, it's not complicated, but it's the most important thing about your life. And so if you're seeing two different things and they don't line up, I just, I don't think, for me, it was not the best.

And so that's why we broke up. Yeah, I agree. And I think this is something that can be a deal breaker. Like I do think that is something worthy of a deal breaker if you cannot come to a unity on what you believe, you know, and what you're going to raise your family in. Because that is a really hard battle. I think the last thing you need to do is ignore it and just get married and think you're going to figure it out. Because I've heard and seen a lot of people do that and

then in marriage it's very, very difficult and especially when you have kids because then you come to all this. So it's conversations definitely worth having. It's hard conversations, but definitely worth having for sure, because that can definitely be a hard road to walk. Kind of in a different vein, but similar. A lot of people said, guys say that they know Jesus or love Jesus, but don't make him a priority in their life. Is that a deal breaker? In the sense of a lot of people are like, my boyfriend

says he's a Christian, but I don't really see him acting like that. Should I go with what they say or should I care more about the way that they are living? Obviously I think we could all speak to this Sarah, you want to speak a little bit to that? Yeah, the first thing that comes into my mind is you'll know them by their fruits. So is their

life fruitful? And fruitful being the fruits of the Spirit. And so I think I dated a couple of guys who said they were Christians. And then I got a front seat view and realized, oh, I think we think being a Christian is different. Because being a Christian isn't, I grew up in church and I know the right and wrong things and it's like the personal relationship with Jesus that it's the walking with Him and being led by Him. And so if I don't, if you don't see that person being led by Jesus and the fruits of Him in their hearts, then I do think that's different. And kind of what you said, like getting married, these things don't get better or easier just because you get married. Sure, you can fall in love with someone, but like fruit speaks and so. You don't want, you're not marrying someone who says they're a Christian, just to check that box.

Like you're marrying someone because they're Christian, because they surrender their life to the Lord. And the fruit of that, the fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control, like you want those attributes in someone you're choosing to trust your life with, you're gonna have your children with.

Now, are they gonna be perfect? No, but at least that they admit that they're not perfect and they fall in the arms of the Lord. You're not just, the benefit of marrying someone who is a Christian is not because they say they're Christians, it's because of what it looks like when you have the fear of the Lord. And so it's bigger than just, oh, he're a Christian, it's because of what it looks like when you have the fear of the Lord. And so it's bigger than just,

oh, he's a Christian, great, we can get married. It's like, what does that look like? How does he love you? How does he love the Lord? How is he gonna lead your family? And I think, Gracie, you joked about saying that was so extreme about being 50, but actually that's true.

If you don't find the person that you feel is the best for you to marry, again, not perfect, but God's best for you, then you don't get married. You know, like then you wait. And I think a lot of people go, oh, well, if I get to this age, then I'll settle. No, never settle because it's too big of a deal, you know? And it's like, when you get into marriage,

you're gonna realize that it's not always just like good feelings and love. Some of it's like just really hard, but like, thank God you chose someone that it was worth it to go through life with. You go through hard stuff, you don't expect things pop up. I mean, they want going through what we went through with Honey when she was young,

like with her health, like shook me and Christian, shook our faith, shook everything. And I'm like, so thankful I married someone who knows the Lord, fears the Lord, loves the Lord. Because those are the things you don't think about before you get married, but you should think about, you know, like who's gonna walk through life with you.

Honestly, we can go on and on. There's so many, so many good questions. This is just funny. Someone said, what if they wear Crocs? And I guess I'll end on this note. That's not a deal breaker, but that you shouldn't help them in their life. What's wrong with Crocs?

Ladies, like I wear Crocs. I do wear Crocs. You really? I have some camo Crocs. I definitely have some Crocs. I's wrong with Crocs? Ladies like, I wear Crocs every day. I do wear Crocs. You really? I have some camo Crocs. I definitely have some Crocs. I have camo Crocs. I have white Crocs. I have white Controversial.

I probably, I tried when Crocs were back, I was like, I'm gonna try. And I was like, this is not me. This is me trying to fit in with the world. So go with where your piece is on the Crocs. This is me trying to fit in with the world. I could literally sit here and talk all day. I'm going to get to do that with them

because they're staying at my house, I'm so excited. But I'm so grateful for y'all that y'all have so much wisdom. I can't believe I get to have friends like y'all. I would not be who I am, I would not be where I'm at in my marriage as a mom, as a friend without the influence of y'all in my life. So I'm so grateful for that.

And I'm so grateful that now so many people got to be influenced by all of your wisdom and it's just a beautiful gift. So thank you friends, that was so good. We would say the same. Yeah, same. I would not be who I am without you. Can we start dating? Can we start dating? Hahaha