WHOA That's Good Podcast - Body Image and Relationships: How God Redeems Our Imperfections

Episode Date: April 7, 2021

Sadie is joined by gospel and Christian music icon Natalie Grant for a raw, honest, and deeply personal conversation about body image, eating disorders, emotional manipulation, and the alarm bells that sound when you're in an unhealthy relationship.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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For many reasons, I mean, I've looked up to you from afar for a while. You're an incredible mom and wife and artist and worship leader. I even went to the belonging for a while. So I got to, you know, be in the worship room when you're relating. Special play. Oh, so special.

So special. So I'm thankful that you're on the podcast today. So to get started, I'll get started the same way I do with everyone. What is the best piece of advice that you've ever been given? Oh my goodness. Really big question. That's such a huge question because you could think it's so easy to just lay out because I think that certain pieces of advice you're given, just strike you in the season you're in. Yep.

So one overarching piece of advice. Oh, probably in the season of life, even, wow, my gosh, Sadie, it's too hard. I know. So I'm gonna give you two, because I think one of them's gonna be good for you in the season that you're in. I say it too hard. I know. So I'm gonna give you two, because I think one of them's gonna be good for you in the season that you're in. I love it.

And then the other is just an overarching piece of advice. And that is, never have a plan B. I think that oftentimes, even as parents, and you're about to experience this, is that you want to have a plan B, to have a backup in case plan A doesn't work out. Yeah. And I think that as you think about what you wanna do

with your life and your moving forward, all of us have like this goal of whatever our dream is that we want to accomplish. Right. But I think that you have to not look at a dream or a destination as Plan A. You just have to look at living for Christ as Plan A. And however that works itself out is Plan A.

If you have Plan B of, well, I think maybe I'm going to do this as the safe route. Plan B will always keep you from Plan A. And that will challenge you as a parent because you want to protect your kids and go, well, do this as a backup plan. Like, this is what you want to do for Plan A and you want to be a speaker and author. But just in case that doesn't work out, get your teaching certificate so you can have a Plan B. But then the problem is, you're only ever ever gonna do plan B. That's true.

And never do plan A. So that was my number one piece of advice. Oh, that's good. And my number two piece of advice came from my dad. And he said, as a parent, um, never grieve the season that you're leaving. So like, for me, when I was looking at my little baby, and we were moving to, oh my gosh, now they're talking. I would cry and be like,

but I still went to like help them in that little squishy stage. And then when they were the toddler stage and they started school, I was like, oh, but I still want to keep them in that little toddler stage. And he said, don't ever grieve the stage you're leaving because every stage is taking you closer to the greatest stage, which is now my kids are my best friends. And I think that that applies to life. Don't grieve the stage. You're leaving because God's always taking you, even if it's something that you don't want to leave, and you can't see where you're going,

God's always taking you when you're walking with him to the next beautiful stage. They don't greet the one you've left. That's so good. Two, and there are bombs. That was awesome. I love that advice. And especially going into parenting, I think that will be good for Christian and I both,

because it's funny when Christian and I go on trips together and we travel a lot, you know, we were just talking about that before the podcast started. And it's funny, like every time we get back from a trip Christian will be really quiet and I'm like, are you okay? And he's like, I'm just sad that we're not there anymore like he Loves the travel he loves the experience But yeah, that goes with life. It's like yeah, but where we're going is is even is gonna just keep getting sweeter It's gonna keep getting better. Got something in each space. So I love that that's so good. Well I love how close

your family is and recently y'all been doing the song a day keeps the crazy away. I love following along. I want to ask you because I know a lot of people follow that. How has that kept your family close during a really crazy past year? What's funny because you know for people that don't know my husband Bernie Horms is a songwriter and a producer and when we first started we've been married for 21 years and I got my record deal and my husband in the same year. That's awesome. So when we first started in 1999 the thing is is that we did it just T and I. And then as life got busy and he got busy and so many incredible opportunities to work

with so many other people, and he didn't tour with me anymore. So we have this wonderful grand piano, but he's usually down in the studio working on equipment and he walks by that piano every day. So to be honest with you, when when COVID like that whole season first started last March, we were like, well, everything has stopped. What can we do? Well, let's just do a song, you know, let's just do a song.

And we didn't have any kind of fancy light or camera or microphone. It was just our iPhone and our piano. And there was something about the simplicity of it that stripped everything else away that's complicated our season sometimes and just kind of took us back to where we started. And there was something so beautiful about the simplicity of it. But then it was involving our kids and they started singing with us and they started sitting on the upstairs or people couldn't see it in the frame but they were just watching every song you were filming. That's so cute. There was just something about it that made it this whole family

thing that became our daily thing. So the fact that it was ministering to other people was a beautiful gift to us. Yeah. But honestly it was ministering to us. Wow, that's awesome. So the gift really was just to us. And the only thing that the only rule we had was that we couldn't talk on it. I don't know if you noticed on the songs we never were like, hey guys, every time I turned up on Instagram, someone was saying, hey guys, I just didn't want to hear hey guys anymore. It's true. I have to like challenge myself like do not start with hey guys But it's so hard every time I do the same thing. It's so hard

It's like a trigger as soon as you press record. It's like hey guys are like why? I can't even me Totally well y'all crush it. I love that and I'm sure that's so amazing for your daughters to just see their parents do something together I love when my parents do anything together, whether it's playing tennis or fishing in our pond or making dinner, like it's just sweet to see your parents be friends. And so... The togetherness. Yes, that's amazing. And it's fun for everybody in social media to see and it's cool that it's a blessing both ways. That's when you know it's a god thing. Totally. Well, I recently got to be with you in California. And it was so funny because I brought up the fact that we're doing the powerful workshop together on the

L.O. sister app. And also yours goes live this week. So I'm so excited that we're going to be talking about that on the podcast. And it's going to go live. But you said something to me that that was so funny. You were like, you said it made you so nervous to do the video. And I was like, you like you're Natalie Criot. Like you're you do this all the time. And you were like, well, singing is my comfort zone. Speaking is not which I get because if somebody asked me to sing, I would be so nervous. But this doesn't make me as nervous. So I wanted to ask you because I don't think people probably think you would get nervous. How do you press past fear? And certain things to say yes to what God's calling you to do?

Because it's really easy to say yes to the things that you're confident in. It's really hard to say yes to the things that, you know, you're like, this is not necessarily my thing, but I know it's something that God will use. You know, it's funny because even just yesterday, somebody was asking me if I still get nervous when I sing. And I said, I totally do. Like I totally still get nervous, even though that's my comfort zone. And they said, how do you get past the nerves and all of that? And to be honest with you, I used to like struggle with the nerve part of and that used to become such a crutch. yeah my nerves my nerves my nerves my

nerves because I was focusing on the nerves instead of leaning into the nerves and it's good. I'll explain what I mean by that. I lean into it when I'm nervous I like lean into the nerves instead of trying to like make them go away or coming up with the five steps of what you can do to like get to the nerves because I feel like leaning into your nerves actually is a constant reminder that we're not built to do anything in our own strength. It's good. And so if I try to come up with a process of how I get over my nerves, I think sometimes I'm relying on my gift. I'm relying on my confidence instead of my God confidence. That's good. So on my confidence instead of my God confidence. That's good.

So, yeah, there's some practical things to do, which for me always comes back to the word. So I always go to my emergency chapter, which is something like I say, if you've got an emergency, you dial 911. Yeah. And for me, I look up 911, which starts at Psalm 91. I'm going to say, that's good. That's my emergency chapter 9 1 1 and you read the whole chapter because it reminds you that he doesn't let anything come

near you that's going to harm you that is hiding you in the shelter. And I think that gives you a confidence when you know you're surrounded literally by the wings of God. Like you think of like a little bird and then coming into the wings of their like mama or their daddy and it just That gives me a comfort, but the nerves are not something I think that we should try to necessarily get rid of Yes, in a sense that you're like, okay, that's right actually. I can't do this in and of myself But when I'm weak, he's strong and I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And then you just have to go for it. And I think the more that you go, I'm nervous, but I'm going to do it anyway. Yes. Um, that just doing it. Um, I think it doesn't make it go away. It just makes it easier with every single time that you go,

I'm just going to do it. And I think that honestly comes down to that, right? It's like, I'm just going to do it. I'm scared to death, but I'm just going to do it. Yes. And that just going to do it thing kind of starts to get me through. For the Millers, movie nights were one's tradition. Now Sarah could hardly get through the opening credits, not on that old couch. But one day while shopping on QVC.com, she learned lazy boy recliners had slimmed down a bit. And in just a few clicks,

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And you know, like, I feel the same way. And I always know God will meet me when I'm there. It's just normally the nerves right before. It's crazy because people ask me that too. It's just normally the nerves right before. It's crazy because people ask me that too and I still get nervous every single time. It doesn't matter if I'm speaking in front of passion or if I'm speaking in front of 12 people at my church. I'm going to be nervous the same way. But I talk about it like skydiving. So I don't know if you've been skydiving. But when you go, you literally get the edge of the plane. Listen, I don't even know how I did it, but you get the edge of the plane and you're so

nervous, but literally you just lean into it and you fall. And it's a little out of control for a second, but then you get caught by the parachute and it's like, the wind just catches you and I feel like this is the same thing with God. Like, sometimes you just have to lean in. I think people think that because they're afraid, it's a reason to not do it. It's like, no, everybody is afraid. There's a reason he says, do not fear, but then he always says, because I will be with you. Do it and he'll catch you. And then that's when you'll see, I don't have to do that.

And I think, too, just even realizing we're always looking, because even when we're afraid, right, the root of that is that we want to be comfortable. We want to be comfortable, like comfortable. Yes. And I think just realizing that God calls us to a life of faith, not because He's cruel or wants to, but because He actually values us saying, I'm not comfortable, but he values our

yes, in the midst of our uncomfortable. That's actually when I think we experience in the most, if we're constantly comfortable, then we don't have the same experience of him because we don't need him the same. And we don't recognize that we need him. But the reason he calls us to this blind faith is because we experience him more. Yeah, we actually experience that comfort of him, the need of him, the understanding of how he shows up every time that we're weak, that's what the blind faith does. Yeah, and that requires us just to kind of step off the edge, you know, that's so good. Yes, I love that man. That's gonna help so many people. Well, I wanted to talk about the workshop because your workshop is going live this week

in the Powerful Workshop. For those of you who don't know what that is, that is a workshop we're doing in the L.O. Sister app on Body Image. We're talking about eating disorders, body image, basically anything you've gone through that maybe you believed a lie about the way that you were made that made you less powerful

than the way that God made you. So it's been so good. You're I got to watch yourself before everything else. Obviously. And I mean, I literally this morning I came into the office and I was talking about your video and I had chills just sharing it because I related to it so much. And I just felt like when you were sharing your story, I'm like, man, I can remember the moment that happened to me in the moment that I felt like that. And I feel like so many girls are gonna relate.

So do you mind just sharing for you like when your eating disorder started and kind of maybe some of the trigger things that started it? Because when you shared that in the study, I was like, that is exactly what happened to me. And I feel like if I heard somebody else share their story when I was going through that, I would have felt so seen. And like a lot of hope that man. Okay, I'm here right now, but I see this picture of where I can be and where I want to go in freedom.

So I would love for you to just share that. Totally. You know, for me, it started in my second year of university. And I can't say that I can blame it all on a bad relationship, but I was in a bad relationship with a boy that, like, I don't know if you'll identify with this part of it, but, you know, you can be like dating somebody. You know, you shouldn't be dating. But then there's like the boy that you see from afar that you're like, if that guy actually like notices me,

that is kind of the dream of what I had written down. Like he looks the way I thought he would look and he's talking the way I thought he would talk. And just all of the things that the outward packaging was like, oh my gosh, like this is the dream. Yeah. And I think that that's kind of how it started for me. But I can't say that it was all his fault.

I think there was an underlying control insecurity issue that just manifested itself because I allowed him to become the voice I listened to the loudest. Yeah. And it's funny because he knew a lot about the word of God. And it was one of the first times I understood that just because somebody has head knowledge, it does not mean that it's transferred to their heart. And so when I'm saying this, I kind of feel bad because I don't want to be throwing this person under the bus even though I'm not even saying his name. Yeah, and it was like 20 something years ago, and I'm still like, yeah, I kind of want to throw them under the bus But I'm gonna stop myself

But at the same time, I'm like no Lord. That's not the godly thing to do It was manipulative. You know what I'm saying? Like that manipulative when you use the word of God in a really manipulative way, it's so dangerous. And I should have known better, but I cared more about what he thought of me. And we were walking through a grocery store. Literally, we went in to get a pack of gum. And I just remember him literally were standing there in line

because there was no self-checkout at that time. And he looked at this magazine and I actually don't even remember the person that was on the cover. I just remember what he said to me, which was, you know, if you would just like do this to yourself, you would almost be as beautiful as her. And we left there and we went to go get something for lunch, and that was the first time during lunch, I excused myself and said I needed to go to the bathroom. And I made myself throw up. And it was not something that I was premeditated. It wasn't something like I was like,

if I do this, it's gonna make me see. It was just, I think I felt so out of control in my life. There was something about the release of what was in me coming out that I, it's a weird thing to explain to somebody that's never been bulimic. It felt like a high a little bit. And so, oh my gosh, it's gonna make me cry because it kind of takes you back to that raw moment.

Of that high you felt from it that was so twisted because it made you feel good in the beginning, right? And so you felt like you had this thing that you were controlling and I feel like even somebody who's going to be watching this, you feel so out of control in your own life right now that you actually have deceived yourself into believing that what you're doing is your ability to control something. You have no idea right now that it's actually controlling you and It takes a minute before you get to that spot right right? Where you're like, wait a second. That's the way the enemy works. He makes you think that you're in control. When actually it's this thing that's controlling you.

Yeah. And it started in that restaurant and continued for probably about a year and a half of, yeah, I got skinny. Yeah. People started to notice. And then it became like this praise, which then keeps you in this cycle of bad behavior because you're getting a good response. And then the bad behavior and the good response goes to like a concerned response. And it's so funny how that works, Sadie, because then the concern, you don't

even realize it that you're getting some sort of satisfaction from that. Like this concern, this like really weird concern is all of a sudden becoming like this, you know, thing You crave. I wish I could say to you that I got to this spot where it was just like the Lord in this moment, just healed me. I was just delivered from it. I wasn't. Obviously, it was a long road of a bad relationship. I ended up actually getting engaged to this person. And so we were engaged to be married. And I thank God that I figured it out on the right side of the altar.

Because I oftentimes look back and think, oh my goodness, if I wouldn't have listened to that still small voice, where would I be right now? I think I would probably be divorced and be in the middle of heartbreak. But I guess what I wanna say to somebody who's listening is that you can think that this is playing out in the way that you dreamed. And if you're a people, please are like me and you don't wanna disappoint someone

that you've said yes to, it is not too late to say no. And it might feel in the moment like everything around you is going to literally crumble because I felt like that. If I come clean about what I'm doing, it's going to crumble. If I say no and break off my engagement, I'm going to disappoint so many people and it's going to crumble. And the dream I many people and it's going to crumble. And the dream I had for my life is going to crumble. And everything is going to crumble. Yet, I started with just that one decision. Okay, I'm going to break off my engagement.

And then, okay, I'm going to take a path towards healing. And I remember this one time that I was in the basement of my parent's house. I was literally bent over the toilet. I've never heard God speak audibly. I wish that I would hear like the big voice from on I But I recognize that still small voice and I just heard that simple. My grace is sufficient. Wow My grace is sufficient and I. My grace is sufficient. And I just, I remember in that moment going, okay, I don't know how, I'm going to walk that out, but I'm going to start,

I'm going to start just, and I'm going to get up, and I'm going to stop right in that moment. I'm just going to get up. And I don't know if I'm going to have the strength to not do it the next time, but this time, I'm just going to get up and I don't know if I'm going to have the strength to not do it the next time But this time I'm just going to say no and it was that Small baby steps of saying no and then going to my parents and confessing that I had a problem and then allowing them to take me somewhere to get me help And it was not just this one thing. It was little baby steps. And yeah, two years later,

I fell back into it. But then I was in a different spot. And I was more equipped to go immediately ask for help, immediately go back into some treatment immediately. And I think that's the thing so that now, here I am, 20 some years later. And do I still struggle with insecurity? Yes. Do I still struggle with control issues? I do, but I'm equipped with the word of God and an understanding of the power of the Holy Spirit in my life that now I can take captive every thought in the moment. In the moment it happens, you go instantly, Lord, what is it I need to do to take captive that thoughts?

I think it's important for people to know. And I realize that I've been talking for a long time. I'm sorry. But I don't want to apologize. I don't want to apologize. For people to know that if you're looking to get to the place where you never struggle, that will keep you bound. Because it's not a perfect life.

It's a redeemed life. So that you realize, okay, in this moment, right now, I'm not gonna try to go, I wanna have victory tomorrow. I wanna have victory now, in this moment. And so in this hour, I'm gonna take captive that thought and God is not a genie. So he doesn't like, if you get on the nice list, then he's going to do everything for you. You don't have to do anything for your own salvation.

That's not works. But walking out your salvation, it does require us to believe God, to take him at his word. So when he says to take every thought captive, he doesn't do that for you. He actually says that you can do that. That comes through knowing his word, being a student of his word, getting in his word, letting that word light your path in that moment

and then go, okay, so for this moment, I have the victory and then the next moment it comes up, you do the same thing. Yeah, that's so good. Oh my gosh. You just put so much language to things that I don't even think I've put language for for myself and my story. And it made me emotional too when you were sharing because I've such a similar start and it'll make me cry whenever I talk about you but I remember like I was in a bad relationship and we were on the beach and he looked at some girl and he looked at me and he said, you know, I'm glad that you don't look like that because I don't have to worry about guys thinking you're attractive and lessing after you.

thinking you're attractive and lessing after you. And it was so manipulative. And, yes. Because it framed it and I'm glad, but then it's like that you're unattractive. And so I don't have to worry. That's what that says to you. Yeah. And so when I'm looking at her and then I look at me

and I notice all the differences that we have and it pushed me into this really unhealthy place and unhealthy state. And it was the same for me. My life was a little out of control at the time. And I felt like this was something I could control. And it more led in a way of way over working out and not eating nearly enough and obsessing over how many calories and what it looked just the whole thing. And my mind was just completely spun by that.

And it lasted for, I don't know, probably a year as well. And we were still dating. And I remember saying, I think I have a problem. Like I think I'm like, have a problem with eating. And I don't know why he's the person I went to. But besides, he just became my person. And like you said, his voice was louder than any others. And he said, oh yeah, I've noticed that.

And it was like, as if that's not a bad thing, like at least you look good kind of thing. And you're right, it was like at the time people were praising it and it was like, you look amazing. Oh my gosh, you're so fit and all this stuff at me while not knowing like where the root of it was coming from was so unhealthy. And so you kind of lean into that and you're like,

okay, well, I mean, I look good or this and you don't realize that this is controlling you in such a heavy way and really stealing from your life and who you are. And so when you were sharing that, that's how I was like, oh my gosh, like this is like so my story. And it was the same for me where it was like one day I had a moment with the Lord where I just like repented and kind of confessed to God and was like, I know I'm like not healthy. And I began to just read scripture over myself. But then it was a daily decision. It was like, yes, there was freedom in that moment. But it was like every time I went to eat with my family, I'd tell myself like, eat the meal.

Like eat the meal. Don't think about it. Just eat it. Like, it's healthy from about. I started thinking, God, I started being like, I'm so glad that this is gonna make me a stronger person and that I'm gonna be able to be free. Like sometimes gratitude, you just have to like,

work your way through it with the gratitude that you have for your body. And so, just thank you for sharing because I know that if we've both been through it, then so many girls have. And I love how you talk about, you talked about how you were kind of ignoring so many nudges from the Holy Spirit at the time about this relationship. For girls who are, you know, in a relationship

where they're like feeling so many nudges of like, this is not it, but again, like it looks good on paper or in their mind they've already said this is who I'm gonna marry. What are some of those things that you feel like people can be on the lookout for to know? Maybe this is not the relationship I'm actually supposed to be in. No I think the thing about Jesus is that when he's in it you're going to have peace. Like you're going to have peace. Like you're going to have. That's good.

And it doesn't mean it's going to be perfect. And I actually think that what's really beautiful is that you and I, though years apart, we have a similar story, but we also have a similar victory. Yes, we got the prize in a husband. Yes. we did. And it wasn't because we're perfect or we did all of these things right. All we did, however, was we listened to the nudge of the Holy Spirit. And I think that that's really important because I think that

girls, especially, not the boys don't, but girls especially fall for the lie that one, this is as good as it gets. That two, oh my goodness, what if nobody ever loves me again? So if I say no to this or walk away from it, what if there's nothing else comes around for me again? So I better take it while I can get it. And then I think that that is really important is when you feel that nudge, you have to trust that God has something for you.

You have to take him at his word. I say this to my own girls all the time. We actually don't really wanna take God at his word. That's the thing is we want to when it's easy, but when we can't control the outcome, and girls, we're fix it, girls, by nature, women are nurturers, and you think that you can just help a person.

You can't do that when it comes to your future in marriage. You can't decide on the... oh, so sorry, so sorry. My alarm. Hey, that was actually my alarm sounding for every call. That's what's happening. That literally is the perfect timing. That was perfect timing. That's what's happening on the inside.

That is, I was literally what I was going to say. That is what it sounds like on the inside of your soul and you know it, if you're in this position. That was amazing because I was accidental, but I feel like that is what is happening on the inside is a, mer, mer, mer, mer, mer, and you're like trying to choke it,

nose, toes, and try to quiet it. But there's alarms going off, and the thing is, is that right now, I also know, because I know this feeling that there's somebody watching and your heart is actually pounding because you know that we're talking to you right now. You know that it's like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.

And guess what, it's gonna hurt. When you break it off, I'm not trying to tell you that when you break it off, all of a sudden, you're gonna be like, oh, hallelujah, I followed, but the Lord told me to do and it feels so good. No, it's gonna feel like crap, actually. You're gonna be broken, hearted, but it's going to lead you to the right.

It's gonna lead you to a wide open field. It's true. I think I quoted this scripture. It's from to lead you to a wide open field. I think I quoted this scripture. It's from the message version. It's Psalm. Oh my goodness, I can't even remember the address right now, but it's Psalm. Oh, Sadie. You may be remember it. But it's the message version. And I love it because I think it helps us take a deep breath. It says, but he caught me. He reached all the way from sky to sea. He pulled me out of that chaos, the void in which I was drowning.

They hit me when I was down, but God stood by me. He stood me up on a wide open field. I stood there saved, surprised to be loved. God made my life complete when I placed all of my pieces before him And I think that even though you walk through that like moment of heartbreak He will put you in a wide open field It's amazing. You will be able to breathe deep and you won't feel it overnight, but you'll get there That's amazing. That's so good. Wow.

Come on. I love it. I think that's so true because, you know, whenever you have to trust God in a moment, whether that's ending a relationship or stepping something, you know, you don't get to see the other side of that trust. And we read that in the Bible like, whenever God asked, no, it would have been an arc. Like, he didn't see like the rain yet. He just had to start building. Whenever God asked, gosh, it about an arc, like he didn't see like the rain yet. He just had to start building.

Whenever God asked, gosh, we're gonna walk around seven times. Like he didn't know the wall was gonna fall, but he walked around at seven times and claimed the victory. And even David with glide, like he actually saw a giant, but he still stood before him with his slingshot in his hand. And so like you're gonna have to face this moment where you're gonna have to

trust God enough to end a relationship or whatever that looks like in your life. We're just talking about this right particular subject right now. But I didn't know Christian was coming, you know, but I trusted God in the moment to end it. And you mentioned something about how maybe you believe the lie that no one could love you that way. And honestly, maybe, you know, that hasn't just been aligned. You had maybe that person told you that because I remember that happened to me. And I was recently talking to a friend about that and it happened to her too, where I was, you know, my life had exploded already at the time when we were dating.

And I was known by a lot of people and that's a lot to deal with in its own way. And there was other things and I had anxiety at the time because of all the stuff. And I remember him telling me, you know, you're so lucky, you know, because I can deal with all this and that nobody would ever be able to deal with it. So like basically this manipulation of like no one would ever be able to love you the way that I have. No one would be able to put it with this way that I have. whatever be what I love you the way that I have no one would be able to put out with this the way that I have I am taking on all of the this hardship because for you you know you're

welcome kind of thing and I believe that and I literally thought like you're right this is a lot I would never like nobody could handle this you're so awesome that you have carried this with me, you know? Yeah. Wrong. And so, wrong. Wrong, wrong. And now, me. Right.

Right. I know. That was the alarm sounding like, hello, wake up, not right. But I believed him. And I think so many people, I've heard other girls say that they're, the guy they were dating said,

no one could ever put up with you the way that I do. That kind of thing. And so then you really are afraid. But that's not true. Like now that I'm married to the man that I do that that kind of thing. And so then you really are afraid. But that's not true. Like now that I'm married to the man that I'm married to and he loves me so genuinely and I'm so confident in who I am and I have peace and I'm closer to the Lord than ever and closer to even who I am than ever because he affirms that in me. I didn't see that at the time when I was the other guy and had to break up with him and that was crap.

But now I do and I'm so thankful for that decision. So I love that. You quoted something for the workshop that I just wanted to bring up. You said, you don't need to speak your truth. You need to know and speak his truth. And I just think that's absolutely beautiful. And as you've been talking, the truth of God flows out of you so effortlessly and it's so obvious that you have just I mean immersed yourself in the word and been like a tree planted by a

stream of living water and meditates on the word day and night like and so I just want to call that out in you and just say Thank you for sharing your wisdom Thank you for just filling out truth and God's word over our life because that was the thing with this workshop. It's not powerful because we're powerful. It's powerful because he is a powerful God who created us.

And so Natalie, you are amazing. I know you're an incredible mom to your girls and you've been a mom to all of us today. And so thank you so so much for sharing your story. Thank you so much. That was so good. Thank you so much, man. There's alarms going off.

There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off.

There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. There's alarms going off. How's your day going? Good. How about you?

So good. It's been a beautiful day today. It has been a beautiful day. So what was the question that you guys sent in? So I had sent in a question. It was just tips on how to run a high school girls Bible study, but one that student led. Cool.

And then I run our own Bible study. but one that's student led. Cool. And Z and I run our own Bible study. So that's what the question was about. That's awesome. Well, that's so great that y'all run a Bible study. I have done Bible studies since I was like, gosh, in middle school, I think I put on a Bible study high school, I do now still.

So I love Bible studies. I think they're awesome. I think it's a great way to form community and just study the word together. So my piece of advice for that would just be honestly make it fun. Like, and then that might not be the most spiritual advice. And Christian will get to the spiritual side, but make it enjoyable and something that people actually want to come to. You know, treat girls over the top of it. Guys and girls treat them over the top.

Like, whether that's getting food and I know maybe you're in high-screen, I not have the money to just like go buy a bunch of food. But even just like pancake mix, I know this is practical, but like, it's pretty cheap, it's pretty easy to make pancakes. And everybody loves a pancake bar. Do pancakes and chocolate chips and blueberries and sprinkles and like those are the kind of things that I think make people feel really loved and really invited and like something that they want to continue going to whenever you go above

and beyond the love of them in that way. And the other thing is really just focus on the community aspect of the Bible study like asking people how can I pray for you? And then not just listening, but actually praying for them right there. And then the next week following it up, hey, Julia, what I know you talked about this last week, is that getting any better? Like, those things actually go a long way because I think that the heart of the Bible study beyond just studying in the Bible is to have fellowship with one another. And so when you focus on those fellowship elements like actually diving into what people are going through and feeding

them and loving on them in that way, I think those are two things that make a Bible study really great. Yeah, that was really good. Well, I don't have much experience with leading a girls high school Bible study. But leading one, leading one throughout college, I know for me, I don't want to use the word successful, but the way that made it the most impactful through my group of friends throughout college was always being prepared going into it. And there were some weeks that, you know, a message we kind of come the day up that we were going to talk about something, but it always seemed kind of limited. So for me, if we were going through a book like James, it would always be, like days of preparation with, you know, looking at other resources and looking up other things that kind of, that

kind of go with the verses and really planning out questions that I was going to ask the people there and not really just kind of one-off questions, but more conversation of questions. And for me, always being prepared for the night of Bible study really helped because there are some nights where, you know, kind of like what I said, it would be the day of preparation and it just wouldn't be as, you know, as impactful as it was if I had that preparation. Preparation is definitely key to you because you are the leader of the Bible study, so make sure that you lead it. As the leader that comes with preparation and being intentional about what you're going to talk about, I've talked to people who say, say, I wish my Bible study was more vulnerable or I wish it would open up more or I wish they would engage more and Normally just ask, well, how are you leading it because if you lead from vulnerability and you engage and you open up

That's what's gonna allow other people to and so as the leader your preparation how you love people how you dive into people's lives That's what's gonna set the tone for everybody and your group. And so you're the leader, you're the leader. And I'm really, I'm really excited for y'all's Bible study. I think it's probably already awesome, but I hope it only gets better.

Thank you so much. Thank you. That was a really good advice. Yes, thanks guys. Thanks for calling in. We appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Bye, have a good one. Bye, you in. We appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you.

Bye, have a good one. Bye, you too. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. you