WHOA That's Good Podcast - Confessing My Deepest Struggles to My Friends | Sadie Robertson Huff

Episode Date: March 17, 2025

Sadie's "Confession Hour" is a new practice that she treasures and has discussed in several episodes. Today, she's joined by some of her closest friends — Freddie, Elyse, Lydia, and Grace — who make up this special "Confession Hour" group. Sadie opens up about why confessing to her friends has been such a game-changer in so many ways, and she shares how fear kept her from doing this for so long. If you're wondering how to cultivate deeper, more authentic friendships and relationships, it might be time to start regularly confessing to one another! Not only is this a biblical practice, but it will also help you love and be loved for exactly who you are, enabling you to walk in freedom without shame while glorifying God!  This Episode of WHOA That's Good is Sponsored By: https://www.trymiracle.com/whoa — Get 40% off + 3 FREE towels with code WHOA at checkout! https://fastgrowingtrees.com/whoa — Get 15% off your first purchase with code WHOA at checkout! https://hiyahealth.com/WHOA — Get 50% off your first order today! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That's hungryroot.com slash woe with the code woe to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. Hungryroot.com slash woe with the code woe. Whoa. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Hey, hey everybody. I hope you're having a great week, but per usual it's about to get so much better. Today is such a good day because I get to have

an amazing conversation with some of my best friends in the world and they've been on the podcast before, so you probably heard some of our conversations. They've been on the podcast individually, together. We've had lots of fun conversations. But the reason we're gonna have this particular episode is gonna be centered around confession, because I have mentioned this several times on the podcast

that my friends have something called Confession Hour. And it used to be once a week, where I've gotten a little off timing recently, but regardless, it's so beneficial when we get together and we just have like a safe space to share things that we're walking through. And I'm going to tell you how this all kind of started because it's a pretty funny story.

So it didn't intend to be a confession hour. What were we even doing? Were we just- I think we were doing Bible study. Bible study. Because we met in the park for Bible study and then we kind of fell off and they were like, we gotta get back to Bible study.

So then we met in Freddie's office. Because our husbands do it. So they do it every week. That's what they're always on. And we were like, why are we so off? Because they do it at like 6.30 in the morning and that does not work for any of us. With all the kids. One, because of us. With all the kids, no.

One, because of kids, and mainly because of kids, but also like, it's early. But they're like so committed, and they do it every week, and we're like so inspired by our husbands. We're like, man, y'all are always in the word together, growing together, and they'll be like, oh yeah, we were talking about this, we're talking about this. And I'm like, we should do that.

Yeah, because we hang out all the time, but it's different when you like hang out with an intention and like a we should do that. Yeah, because we hang out all the time, but it's different when you like hang out with an intention and like a specific reasoning, like, okay, we're gonna hang out on Friday night, we're gonna go do it together, but like, this is gonna be our Bible study. But we didn't pick a book to study, so that's probably what led us into this different thing.

But the first time we're meeting in Freddie's office, which Freddie's a counselor, so it already set the tone. There was tissue box present. And so it set the tone for where this was gonna go. And Freddie opened it up with a little word. Well, I had read in my Divo that morning, I think, or that week, and it was just talking about how we're supposed to use the body of Christ

as a place to confess, and specifically like your community, and how if you're not utilizing that, like you're not doing what the Lord intended community to be for. And I was very convicted, and I was like, I'm going to share this because I need to basically use my friends as a place of confession. And so I like read this whole thing. And then I'm like, I just want to let you guys know I haven't been doing this, but I want to utilize all of you as a place where I can be really open and be vulnerable and like talk about my sin, talk about where I'm struggling.

With like no intention of really anything happening other than me just saying like, I'm going to use you guys as the body of Christ now. And then all of a sudden Sadie's like sweating and she's like, okay. And she's like, I she's like, okay. And she's like, I just feel like, I just feel like I need to share.

And that's really how it started. That is literally exactly what happened. And I love how you start acting with me like, okay. Because it is so dramatic. My whole body tells the story. But I was, I was like sitting there with no intention of like coming in and confessing anything or like sharing what I was like sitting there with no intention of like coming in and confessing anything or like sharing what I was going through because to be honest, I'm trying to fact check myself.

I don't think I've ever done that in friendship. Like I don't, I really don't think I've ever done that. Like I have had really deep best friends who I love so much. And we've had honest conversations and hard conversations, but I have never been like, here's what I presently and actively struggling with internally, because I feel like a lot of times as a believer, it's like you talk about things after it's like a testimony after it's done, or I'd refer back or something. Or I remember like, even when Lainey and I,

we were walking through coming past some eating disorder stuff, we shared a lot about that. We talked a lot about fear and anxiety. But nothing that made me super embarrassed to say or felt like it really challenged me. I never had that like, oh, I'm going to tell you this. I would confess those things to the Lord. I would confess them to a mentor at the time, some of it,

but not like they're truly hard stuff. Cause I would think in my mind, I'll work this out with the Lord. And when it sounds a little better and when I figure this out a bit more, then I'll talk to people about it. But not in the moment. Well, this day was in the moment of the struggle

and I had really been struggling. And just with something mentally, like I had just, my mind was just in a bad place and it had been going on for a little while and I hadn't talked to anybody about it. And I was like embarrassed to talk to anyone about it because I felt like, why am I struggling with this? Like, what is the root of this?

Why am I struggling with this? How do I get past this? I just felt bad for it. And so anyways, we're sitting there that day and Freddie's like, this is the body of Christ should confess their sins to one another. I'm going to start doing this. I'm like, oh my gosh, so am I. So they're like, hey guys, I guess I'll kickstart this. And I shared and I cried and it was really honest and it was really real.

And then I was like, I remember I asked you guys, do you think I should share this with Christian? Because I tell Christian everything, but I feel like this is gonna be a hard thing to share with him that I was walking through because he doesn't know I'm walking through this. And when you share something with your spouse who loves you so much and you're with every day

and they know everything about you, even to say anything that they don't know just feels like it's gonna be like a weird conversation. And y'all are like, yeah, you should. And it's gonna help you. And then y'all shared like times in your life where you went through something similar and you shared with your spouse and the outcome of it.

And Freddie, I remember you shared something with me and it was so funny because after I did tell Christian I called you, I was like, exactly what you said. I was like, almost to a D. But it was just so funny because I remember coming home to Christian like, exactly what you said. And I was like, almost to a D. But it was just so funny, because I remember coming home to Christian that day, literally that day, it just changed my whole perspective.

And I was like crying, I was so nervous. And I hadn't been nervous to tell Christian something in like a really long time. I just don't feel nervous to tell Christian things. And so, but I did, I felt so nervous to tell him this. And I was like, hey, I need to like confess something to you. I want to tell you what I've been kind of struggling with. And he just wrapped me up and gave me the biggest hug.

And he was like, I have actually, I love you so much more now. And he was like, I feel so much safer around you now because I feel like I can relate to you. And it just, because he was like, sometimes because you don't share your hard things, it makes me feel like bad for walking through hard things. And I felt so bad because I didn't realize like me not sharing my vulnerable stuff and what I'm walking through made him feel like bad for

walking those things. Where I'm walking through it too, I just don't tell anybody. And I think that we do that in friendship too. Like, I can think back to the past, or even like leading leading people where you're like, if I'm not honest and I'm not sure this is real, then people look at my life and they're like, oh, well, that's what's supposed to be to be a Christian. When it's like, no, being a Christian is not that you had to be perfect.

It's like actively living in confession and repentance and letting the blood of Jesus wash over you daily. And so I just learned so much through that first go around. And what's crazy is like from that point on, every single week, one of us cried. We did not plan it, but anyway. One of us shared. But like, had you guys experienced that

in a friendship before? Like, did y'all, had y'all been used to confessing things or had this confession ever been something new for all of you guys? Brand new, brand new. That was different. Yeah. Yeah, because I think, like you said,

it's hard to get on that level. Maybe there's some levels of confession, but there's always that wall where it's like, OK, we don't pass this. We can share some things. But then when it gets too real, it's hard to share those deep things. Because I think it's hard because we,

I don't know, I was thinking earlier, I was like, I think sometimes in confession, we make it about us. Like if confession, confession seems hard when we make it about ourselves, but confession is not that hard when you realize it's actually kingdom work. Like there's a ripple effect that happens

when you do get real. And I think for some I was afraid to pass that wall because I was like, okay, then they're gonna see me as this. Well, then I'm making it about me. I was like, OK, then they're going to see me as this. Well, then I'm making it about me. I'm like, OK, now they're going to think differently of me. But that's not the point at all. I guess it's a much bigger picture than that. And I think we had to experience that to realize that once we got past just the,

you know, what are they going to think of me? We're like, no, this is kingdom work because one, I'm going to go closer to the Lord. Two, I'm going to have warriors around me. And three, that means me and there will be kingdom work done because this will not hold me any longer. And then I can go reach others too. It's really good. I'm not held back anymore. So for me, I think for so long, the reason it didn't happen is because I was too worried about myself. It is true.

But y'all also created a safe place to where I felt like I could. And not that that hasn't been the case before, but we all are in this room to come in together with one purpose that we thought was just to read the word. But when it says when two or more gathered, there he is. There was his presence and he was there. And he kind of didn't make it an option. He was like, like you said,

anytime that we shared, I feel like y'all could probably all relate, but it's like, we all have that pounding, we're like, should I, should I, should I? Well, if they ask me one question or whatever happens, and then that person's like, so how are you doing? Yeah, me last week. I was like, I'm about to leave, like, I had a great time.

And then Sadie's like, you got up, I was like, wait, how are you doing? You're like, sit back down. Yeah, let's get into it. And then, so yeah, that's how I feel about it. I think the wall that you're talking about, and that's what really sparked reading that for me, was so impactful, is like,

I had really great community in college, and we did confess like that, but I realized in post-grad, like something was missing in my friendships, and I couldn't really understand what it was. And then the Lord revealed to me, like, it's because I wasn't confessing. Like I wasn't utilizing my friends the same way. I had nothing to do with the people or the depth of the friendship.

It was like, no, I don't feel as close or the friendships don't feel as vulnerable because I haven't taken that step to share. And so that was very convicting for me too, because it's so easy, like you're saying, to just kind of like look outward at other people and go, well, it's their fault, they need to do it. But it's like, no, I can start it too. I can have the ripple effect and create vulnerability in my entire friend group if I just step forward.

But if I make it too much about myself and go, oh, it's gonna be too scary, and then you don't ever get that, then you're costing yourself and your community really deep friendship. It's so true. When I think back to my college years, I didn't go to college,

but I lived with Sarah, Gracie, and Laney, some of my best friends to this day. But what was different is that they saw me every day. So it's not that I was not confessing necessarily, they just saw what I was going through. And I didn't really have to say it. But when you're not in a season of college or you're seeing someone every day or you're living with them,

it's totally on you if you share or you don't. Because you can put on a face, you can look good for that amount of time. You can go to dinner with anybody, you can hang out, you can play mahjong, you can play nerds. You can do those things. But it's up to you to say, no, I want you guys to know this about me

because I feel like there's a depth of friendship missing or a freedom in our friendship missing. And I feel like we've had this conversation, Lydia, where I remember one time you were like, you don't have to know this about me, but I want you to. Because I feel like I'll feel more known. And just from that, it's like, you are more known and you are more loved. And the depth of friendship it's like, you are more known and you are more loved.

And the depth of friendship goes to a whole other level. But to your point too, like you do have to know, it does have to be a safe place. Because I think back to high school, if I would have confessed like that to certain of my friends, that word would have gone to the whole school. And so like, I think there's wisdom and discernment of knowing who is a safe space. And I think as a friend of receiving someone's confession, like you gotta carry that with weight and like respect and honor and love for that person. And so yeah, it's not like, yeah, go confess

to like everybody. I mean, I think there is wisdom in that. One major part of your health journey that's easily overlooked is getting enough good quality sleep. The temperature that you sleep at has a huge impact on your rest, so whether you struggle with waking up sweating or shivering, getting your sleep back on track is so important. And that's why we got to talk about Miracle Made Sheets. They're temperature regulating, self-cooling, and made of silver-infused fabrics inspired by NASA.

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Yeah, brand new, but one thing I was thinking of whenever Freddie was sharing about how she had that and then didn't, because it was so brand new for me, I think that like, I didn't even know what I was missing until that moment when like Freddie shared that and then you opened up and then I was like, oh my gosh, like, I think it was the very next week maybe that I shared and I was crying and my heart was pounding and I was like, oh my gosh, like I think it was the very next week maybe that I shared and I was crying and my heart was pounding and I was like, it's just so crazy because it truly was a ripple effect but I was like, I didn't even know I was like missing this.

Like I didn't even know, I've never had it. So I didn't know what it felt like to feel the weight of that like just lifted off your shoulders when you do have the community to invest and to your point of like obviously like wanting it to be a safe space, I think of it someone that's willing to do the same with you, that's usually a pretty good indicator of it, like being a safe space.

Because like, yeah, they're trusting you with theirs as much as you're trusting you with them. And so I think it was just so good for me to see like, that in y'all. And I think that that was totally Holy Spirit in you and totally in me even in sharing, because even up until the words came out of my mouth, I was like, I don't want to say it.

I don't want to say it. Like I'll just, I'll be fine. Like I should put you down, whatever. But then, you know, your heart's like pounding out of your chest and you're like, everyone knows. Everyone's staring at me like they can tell. Like, and no one is like, it's just all you. But, but I don't know.

It was just a really beautiful picture of like what I needed that I didn't even know I needed. And like the, just the Holy Spirit bringing that into my life and I was gonna say something else but I forgot. I can actually jump in for you there Grace and Freddie you just kind of said this a minute ago but I think our whole friend group agreed that there was just something kind of missing because we were such a fun friend group and it was all always centered around fun, which was incredible and amazing.

But I think you were bold enough in that first meeting or one of the first meetings to say like, hey, this is different and I think it's our fault. You know, and like that was a hard thing. But then we all looked around and we were like, yes, I agree. Like we all agreed with one another that there was something missing.

And I don't know whenever we're about to do this, but the ins and outs that you talked about earlier, Sadie, my end was gonna kind of be around that topic of the recognition that friendship in adulthood looks different than friendship in high school and college because of like what you were just saying, Sadie, of you used to do life with those people every single day, especially when you lived with people.

Like you're with them 24 seven, they see every part of you. And then our friendship, we start in like adult marriages. It's so different because we're not seeing each other 24 seven. So we can put on on the good face of, oh, I'm good, I'm fine, nothing's wrong. Because you're not seeing me at nighttime when I'm going to bed. You're not seeing me in the morning or when I can't sleep.

You're not seeing every single part. So I feel like adult friendships take so much more intentionality. And that was just kind of a learning curve, that we all kind of have gotten to experience together, it does take away more intentionality. And that was just kind of a learning curve, though. We all kind of have gotten to experience together of it does take away more intentionality and we get to make the choice to be intentional with each other, which made the whole difference in our friendship.

So true. I think back to that in our, like you said, it had been years because we had been such great friends. We would do all the fun stuff together, all the parties, all the holidays, just like normal friendship, I feel like. But then it would be like, what's missing?

Why have we not connected deeper? Because it would feel like, if I went through something like, it might feel awkward to call one of y'all. Even though I know that sounds terrible, because that's not true. But it was like, we hadn't developed that yet. We haven't created that yet, you know?

And then I feel like now we're at the point where I will call one of y'all. I will be texting y'all. Because y'all know what's going on in life. It's not just about fun. It's about the date, the life. And we still have so much fun together because that's a huge element of friendship.

But there's so much more depth to it. That is such a gift. But I think that, so Lydia just mentioned the ins and outs. I had texted them and I was like, hey, what are your ins and outs of friendship? What are the things that you're like, this is in my life for friends and this is what I'm pushing out.

And I think back, again, I had the best friendships. When we lived together, it was so fun, it was such a gift. But for me, I remember they would challenge me because they're like, you don't share, you're reserved. You come in and we ask you how your day is and you just say good. And then we see on social media that like, you just wrote a book and why didn't you tell us that?

And I'd be like, it felt weird. I really did struggle with that. And that came from past friendship, high school stuff, where I felt like if I was doing anything different, then people were trying to tear it down or trying to talk bad about me. Or like, people were looking for something, like looking for me to confess something

to then spin it on me and make me look bad or whatever. So I really did not trust people and friendships. And I would fear to get close because I would fear of like what would hurt, you know? And so my out is like just that fear and friendship. Cause I think that fear relationship, it just holds you back. Like there is an element to relationship

that you just have to trust. Like you have to trust people and you have to let go of some of that and just go, okay, I'm choosing to trust you. And then that's where really freedom and love and like real relationship happens. And so my in is like being vulnerable and sharing the wins and the losses.

Because one of the things that y'all have done in my life that's impacted me so much is celebrate our wins. Like y'all literally came to K-Love whenever I hosted where like, and I didn't even feel weird about that. I was like so glad y'all were there and like y'all cheered me on and what I was doing. And then we went back to the house and like ate pizza. And that's one of my favorite memories of last year,

not the cable awards, but eating pizza with my best friends at the house after, which I am sorry, all of y'all's cars got held down by that damn Nashville. That might not be y'all's best friend from here. It would be really impactful for me. But then also, y'all are the people I told like the thing I didn't want to tell anybody too. So like you celebrated my wins and you sat with me and literally let me cry in your arms basically

in my losses. And so that is just a beautiful thing about our friendship. So thankful for. Anybody else have their ins and outs prepped? I feel like I can say my out because I just kind of said my in. So I'll just, I'll go ahead and get them both. Need the out. Okay.

So the in recap is the recognition and for the need for intentionality because it's just so needed. And so then my out that goes along with that is stopping overthinking, especially when life gets in the way, because again, you know, the need for intentionality is because adult friendships look different.

And so with that also being the truth, sometimes life does happen and you do go a few weeks without seeing each other or a month. And I feel like y'all probably can relate, your mind sometimes will be like, well, we must not be that, they must not really love me. We don't love each other like we thought we did.

Your mind will play that kind of trick on you. We haven't seen each other in a while, so they must not love me. They don't miss me. Like, you know, and so that's out of the overthinking that just because life happens that your friendship changes because it's not the truth. Like your friendship can still remain so intentional and real even when life happens. You know, when you get to that place of really being confident, it is the greatest gift. All my long-distance friendships, I'm just so grateful to have them and I'm so grateful for all of them and I'm so grateful that they don't put that

expectation on me like, if I don't call every day or face them, because I don't because they're busy. Every time we see each other it's like pick up right where you left off, know you love each other. And I feel like when we were all younger, like, immaturity doesn't allow yourself to do that. The more you mature in friendship and yourself and life, it's like, man, what a gift to like trust that the other person loves you and has your best interest. Just because time has gone by doesn't mean anything. But it's so true. Your mind does wonder, you know. It's good.

Anybody else with your ins and outs? I was going to say I could go off of that because it's kind of similar. Both of mine are some things we've already talked about, I feel like, but the one was overthinking, but in a different way. I shared this with the group last week, but just overthinking in general. And I just have anxiety after I leave about things,

I'm like, okay, everything I said, was that too weird? That thing I did, what I said earlier, was was I too weird? Like, that thing I did, like, what I said earlier, like, was that, like, too much or, like, not? Like, just overthinking in general, like, what they think of me and, like, just, like, replaying everything that I said when we hung out, like, that has to go because I don't need to do that.

I don't have to do that with y'all. But also, an out I was thinking of was what we talked about earlier, how we feel like, or sometimes we only talk to each other about things when we met. And how you said, like, to be able to call each other or, like, take advantage of our phones calling, texting in a group message, like, to do it not just when we're together. So that's the out. The end for me that I was thinking about was to give real answers to questions.

That's good. That's really good. Because again, since we love to have fun together, you know, it's sometimes so easy to be like, how are you doing? Yeah, we're good. Like, you know, that was kind of hard, but no, we're good. We're good. And skip. And so in is to actually say, okay, this is how we're really going.

In is to say, even though I was about to leave, I'm going to go ahead and sit here and tell you how I'm really doing. Yeah, that's good. And also to ask those questions, because I think what was crucial in that moment that I'm talking about last week was that you said, hey, how are you doing? Like, I noticed this or that about you.

And to have that moment where I was like, oh, I can share this. You care. I know you care, but when you say the question, it's directed at me, you see me, I can now respond to that. I want to bring up this because it's such a good point. I think so many people fear being a fun sponge. I don't want to not make it fun,

or I don't want to say something awkward, or I don't want to ruin the vibe, but what a gift it is to actually just have real conversations. Everybody wants to be really known. Yes. And when I said that to you last week, you immediately I was like, oh, I shouldn't have said that because I didn't want to offend you. Because as soon as I said it, you got tears in your eyes and you're like, no,

like thank you for noticing. Like it means so much that you notice. And I was like, wow, that is so cool because I was afraid to say that. You might be like, why do you say that? You know, like it felt negative, but it's like, no, you love me. Like you noticed that. And so I feel like we fear people's reaction

to certain things like confrontation, but most of the time when it's coming from love, it's met with love. And also how often are we waiting on that? Like what if I'm just sitting there, maybe I don't feel like I have it in me to bring this up right now. But when it was asked, it almost like

a breath of fresh air washed over me, which sounds weird. But no, it was really, I mean, I did, I started crying because I was like, you see me, you know? And you care. Not that I didn't think you did before, but you really, you were brave enough to bring it up. And now I have this opportunity. And that day I left feeling,

because again, I did not plan. And that day I left feeling, because again, I did not plan on crying that day. I did not plan on saying anything. I was sitting there having a great time. But I left just feeling so good. And I left with no anxiety. I did not leave saying, why did I say this? Why did I do that?

No, that was like one of the times where I left and I was like, everything I said, I do not regret. That's so cool. That's awesome. I love that so much. That's so cool. That's awesome. I love that so much. That's so great. It is that time of year, people. Time to start getting your yard and house ready

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or it was mutual and it just caused like a spiral of not, just to the point where the friendship wasn't even like beneficial for anybody. And so I will say like the older I've gotten, it's just easier to not be jealous of things because I do think you learn to, like kind of what we were talking about, that you just can expect the best of — if you have good friends, you can expect the best of them.

You can give them the benefit of the doubt, and most of the time that is true. It's not that they don't want to hang out with you, it's just that life is busy. So is mine, and whatever, you know, and we go on with it. Out with jealousy, and like I said, that's gotten a lot easier. But I will say in high school, especially, that was so hard just to, even just like, I don't know whether it was a material thing or like other friendships or whatever it was.

And I would say too, like a practical way, I feel like the way that I kind of, even in high school, like helped rid that of my life was just through gratitude. Because when you're focused on what you do have, it's a lot harder to be jealous about what you don't have. And so just practicing that, and even today, like still practicing that, if I ever see that take root in my life.

But also I feel like the older you get, you just, it gets easier to see all that God has given you. And so- It's interesting though, because we've talked about this, sometimes we have relationships with people who are older and you hear some of the ways that they talk and how their friendships are, and you're like, oh, that's so sad.

Make that point to say, it doesn't always come with age, but it does come with maturity. And I do think that a lot of that spiritual maturity and rooting yourself in truth. And I think that you don't let your mind go there anymore. If you're jealous to one, it's like, God, I thank you that you made her just like that. She is beautiful and wonderful.

And I thank you that that's a takeaway from who I am. You know how to combat it. Where a lot of people never give themselves those tools. And so you look up and you are 35 and you still can't maintain those friendships because of jealousy. So I do think a lot of it comes with age a little bit. I think more of it comes from maturity

and spiritually rooting yourself and being around other people who push you in that way. Like I think we do have amazing husbands who are in the word who push us in those things too, which is like such a gift because Christian will like call it out, you know? And you're like, oh yeah. Thank you for seeing that in me.

Thanks for that. Love that. But no, I think that that's beautiful that you've grown so much in that. But I think a lot of that for you is probably because of how rooted you are too. Yeah, absolutely. And that is just a result of time spent in the Word and practice too. All of that is like a gentle pruning that the Lord does over time.

And then my end would probably be, um, I don't know, I just felt like I was going to say the older I've gotten, but maybe it's more, just the more I've matured too. I feel like I have just seen friends go through a lot more like real stuff in life and just learning how to like sit with people in grief is something that I don't want to forget or let go of ever. Because I think sometimes we try and think of the right things to say, or we want to make it better, encourage.

And sometimes it literally just looks like sitting there and saying, I'm so sorry, this is so hard. And crying with someone or holding someone or making the space to say like, how are you? And then just listening and like just being there. I don't know, I feel like it's such kind of like a lost art. Like obviously working as a nurse in the hospital, I see grief like maybe more often than others.

So it's more present on my mind, but I feel like there's so many people that just don't know how to grieve. And you can probably speak to that too. But just knowing how to grieve and then also just knowing how to sit with someone in grief because it's uncomfortable, truly. Especially true, real, deep, sorrowful grief

that will probably sit with people their whole lives. Like that's something that like, if you're honest, sometimes you're like, oh, I just don't want to go there with someone. Like it's just uncomfortable, but there's so much value in like just sitting there with people. So yeah.

One of my biggest regrets in a past friendship was not doing that, was sitting with a friend in her grief, I tried to, I didn't know what to say, you know? When I was young and grace for the fact that you're young and you don't know what to do sometimes, someone's listening and you feel like you really messed that up.

There's been so much redemption in that friendship, but I really messed up my friendship for a little while because someone went through a really tragic life situation that they couldn't get out of. And instead of leaning in with them, I avoided it. And then when I would talk to them, I wouldn't ask and I would just avoid it. And I would talk about other things

and like that really hurt that person. Cause she's like, you were not there for me in that season. And like, I was not, I didn't know how to be. Now, even when friends go through stuff, it's like, yeah, you feel like I don't know what to say. I don't want to say the wrong thing, but just being there and sitting and listening and bringing a meal or giving a phone call

goes such a long way. So I think that's so good. So that's so important in friendship. Okay, mine is, it's actually funny that you asked that because I'd been wrestling through this scripture and just kind of like meditating on it. But it's from the story of Mary and Elizabeth. And it really stuck out to me

when I was reading it earlier this year on how like when Mary went to Elizabeth and Mary was pregnant and Elizabeth was pregnant and how Elizabeth was happy for Mary that she was pregnant and not jealous. So it's funny that you said that because mine kind of came from that too. I have like, she wasn't jealous.

And I just thought of like, man, how easy would it have been for Elizabeth to go, why didn't I get the savior? Like I had to wait this long and she's 14 and she gets the savior of the world and I just get like a normal baby. Like I was like, I would probably be thinking these things of like what in the world? Like, why do I not get a bigger blessing because I had to wait longer?

And it just made me think of like how beautiful it is that she didn't compare her life. She was so happy for Mary and Mary was just as happy for her. So cool. And I was like, man, I just, I don't want that comparison in my friendships. Like whether that's a great thing, like that's, it's like, I'm sitting here looking at all of you and like every single one of you have really incredible gifts and really great things you're doing for the Lord.

And it's like, it would be so easy to go, oh, well God, why don't you give me that gift? Like, how come I don't have that? But it's like, no, I have what you given me. And it's, it's so good too. But it's so easy to just like take the good and look at it from a negative lens and like an envious lens, a comparison lens. And that's really challenged me to go, okay, wait, like I want to, so that's my out. But then my in is like, I want to like just be that encourager and that like supportive friend even more so to be like man that

That thing you're doing that gift you have is really cool without feeling that like competitiveness that comparison Yeah, that is so good. Maybe think of a verse I wanted to pull up because I feel like when I think back to my life That's something that took me so long to overcome is like that comparison and just learning to champion your friends and not letting what they have as a gift take away from what your gift is. And I remember walking out with Christian one time, feeling jealous of a person 100%

because I was comparing myself to her and being like, hey, I just wanna tell you I'm comparing myself to this person. I hate that I'm doing that because it's making me look for flaws in her. That's not fair to her. That's wrong of me. And you even notice with your tone,

when you talk about somebody, you'll spin it negative and you're like, this is horrible, you know? And you gotta stop yourself because it's not fair to anyone. But we're all subject to that if you're not on top of it, if you're not hurting yourself and being confident.

But one of my friends sent me this the other day and I was like, oh, that is so good. It was 2 Corinthians 10, 12. And it said, not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are committing themselves, but when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another,

they are without understanding. I was like, man, even the Bible calls that out like back in the day of like, when they started comparing themselves in the church, like you don't even have understanding. Like you're not thinking right. You're not looking at it right. I just love that.

I think that's so important for friendship. We were talking about this the other day, the Bible is like, it's so interesting because I was talking about that verse, like love your neighbor as yourself. So important to love yourself. We have to like value who we are as people. And then there's like other verses that it, like, love your neighbor as yourself. So important to love yourself. We have to like value who we are as people. And then there's like other verses that it's like,

do not have any selfish ambition. Like do not think of yourself as better than others. Do not like, and so there's like a fine line of like seeing yourself rightly before the Lord. And I think like before the Lord is the key because you're not looking at compared to others. Cause I think when you look compared to others, you either think of yourself too highly

or you think yourself too low. It's like, well, I don't have hair like that. I don't look like that. I don't have gifts like that. I don't have a lifestyle like that. Or, okay, I'm better than her because of this, this and this. And you're trying to find confidence, but you won't find it like that.

Because especially in the world of social media, there will always be someone prettier. There will always be someone more gifted in the area that you are. There will always, like, you're always gonna find that if that's what you're looking for. Or you can look the opposite way and always feel better. But I feel like when you see yourself before the Lord, you see yourself as you're intended to be,

like a daughter, loved, valuable, treasured, but not puffed up yeah not arrogant not and like when you see yourself before the Lord you position yourself to be a good friend yeah to love others to love your neighbor as yourself you know so you all know I'm all about finding healthy, high quality products especially for my girls and I want to give them everything their body needs to grow. But most children's vitamins are pretty much just candy full of sugar, chemicals, and additives.

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because when some of you might listen to this, you might be like, oh Lord, do I have to start doing this in my friendship? Do I have to start confessing things? Like I am gonna be the fun sponge, all this stuff. I hope already, 35 minutes in, you've heard, this is not a fun sponge. This is not a wreck to a friendship.

It's the ultimate freedom to a friendship. It's the best thing that can happen to your friendship. It does not take away the fun it adds to. I would dare say our friendship is way more fun now. Our fun nights are way more fun because we know each other so much more and we have such a depth of relationship. I mean, it's beautiful.

So it's the best thing that can happen. But more than all of those positive things, it's biblical. It's designed for not only friendship, but for your life. And so do y'all wanna read some of those verses? Yeah. Okay, I wanna read two and I kind of wanna like talk about both of them a little bit too. The first one is first John 1,9, and it says,

if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. And I think that's like the main part, and that's like the first part to the freedom. But in this talking about like the freedom that comes also when you confess to your friends, like you said earlier, Sadie, there's one of the things that I confess to this group, my first week of my tears that came, and the heart pounding. I just remember thinking to myself,

even before that day, I was thinking, well, God already knows this. And I was like, he already knows this. My husband already knows this. And so do they really need to know this? And I just remember that he already knows this, my husband already knows this. And so do they really need to know this? And I just remember that was what I kept telling myself was, well, God knows this, my husband knows this, so why do my friends need to know this? But then why was my heart pounding?

Why did the tears come into my eyes when we were still in the fun part? And Sadie looks up and she's like, Lydia, why are you crying? And that was the first thing I said was I said, y'all really don't need to know this about me, but I want y'all to know this about me because I believe that there's freedom on the other side of y'all knowing this about me. And it was not fun and it wasn't what I wanted to do.

And it was true, like I had experienced freedom in the Lord because I had confessed this, I had told Him, I had talked to Him, I had cried to Him. But I had never experienced the freedom on the other side of that, of actually letting my people in to fully know me. And that goes to the second verse, which is James 5.16, and that says, "'Confess your sins to one another "'and pray for one another that you may be healed.'" And I feel like that's what I experienced that day was, you know, like I said, God knew me,

my husband even knew me, but for my friends to know me and to pray for me and to love me, despite what it was, you know, that was a healing that I hadn't experienced yet. and to pray for me and to love me despite what it was. That was a healing that I hadn't experienced yet. And it was a healing that I had longed for. And I experienced that also when I told my husband, I experienced that also then, but it was just a healing to see my community knows me

and they love me. And that's what I always say now after experiencing that is, and I hope, because the whole point of this podcast isn't, and you said it as a joke before, so you're like, y'all don't confess on here now. Like you don't have to say it on here, because the point isn't that you need to confess everything to everyone, you know?

I think our point is everything doesn't need to be known by everybody, but everything should be known by somebody. You know, and there's so much freedom to be found in that. Matt Chandler said, if you're 99% known, you're unknown. Yes. If there's a 1% of you that no one knows, you're going to feel unknown.

And you're going to think, if someone knew that about me, then they wouldn't love me. It's really hard to experience true love when you don't feel like you're truly known. When you are, it's amazing. And I can testify to that verse because when I shared that that day,

I was honestly just really struggling. And it had been months and months and months of struggling and silent, not sharing with anyone, not sharing it with Christian, not, not, like I just thought this is the thing, I'm not gonna tell it, that was my right percent. And I would think about Matt Chandler's sermon. I'd be like, that's my right percent.

And I would tell the Lord, and then I read those verses, I'd be like, well, I confess to you, Lord. So like, can you heal me? Why don't you just heal me? And why won't, can this just be over? And then I remember even when I told y'all, I did everything to try to not do this. I tried to fix this in every way,

but to have to say this to y'all. And what is so cool is when I confess that day and shared it with Christian, I do not struggle with that anymore. And I literally was healed of it. And I'm like smiling because I'm like, I didn't expect that to happen. I actually didn't think it was gonna get better.

I really didn't know that that was gonna heal me. I thought, okay, this is a part of the process. And for some people, I'm not saying that is the only thing that's gonna heal you. I thought, okay, this is a part of the process. And for some people, I'm not saying that is the only thing that's gonna heal you. You might need counseling, you might need therapy. There might be things that come along with your confession. But in my circumstance, that verse, I can truly testify and say I am healed.

And I had that thought the other day. I was like, man, my mind is so free of that. I can't believe I struggled with that for so long and it's not a thing anymore. But then I read that verse and like, but you said it wouldn't be. You know, and when we had Christian Stanfield and Phil Wilcom here recently, and I asked him,

I said, how do you carry the balance of like leading worship? Actually Christian asked it when I had the same question written down. How do you carry the balance of leading worship so globally, but being human and knowing like, you're making mistakes. Like, do you ever feel like a hypocrite for like leading when you're struggling?

And they both said, confession is so real. They said, we'll confess to our friends before and we'll be healed. They said, Christian said, sometimes I'll walk back like while the drums are playing, like while I'm on stage and be like, Lord, I'm gonna confess this to you and believe I'm healed right now in Jesus' name. I don't want to think this thought. I don't want to have this feeling.

And he said, and I'll literally be free. I'll walk up there. And so, it's not just verses. Scripture is active and alive. This is who God is. When you step into that, you experience the freedom that's on the other side. That's promising. It's amazing. Yeah. It's good. I remember the day that you shared, I think it was a Monday. I can't remember.

But like Lydia said, it was like a ripple effect. We all were having these conversations of like, wow, we all just feel so much more like, yeah, this was the missing piece. But Grace and I said the same thing in passing, because I think we were at the hub. And we both were like, we just feel like we know Sadie so much better. And then you said the same thing in passing, because I think we were at the hub, and we both were like, we just feel like we know Sadie so much better.

And then you said the same thing, I just feel like I know everyone so much better. But it was like when you know those deep things about someone, you know them better and you feel more comfortable with them and you feel more safe with them to have more fun with them. But I think for me, I am a deep person, right? Like I'm a counselor, of course I like depth,

I like to go there. But I was so convinced that people didn't want that, because no one else started it. So I was so convinced that like, oh well, that was just like, I need to keep that to myself. Like the depth, going there, having those like intense conversations, and I wish Bella was here, because I would laugh with that to myself, the depth, going there, having those intense conversations, and I wish Bella was here, because I would laugh with her

about one time I asked her a really obvious question, and she made fun of me, because she was like, I literally, you know what the answer was. And I was like, no, I just want to know. And the answer she gave was different than what I thought. And so it's funny, because it's like, if you just ask those questions, if you just put it out there,

if you like not be so uptight about how it's perceived, I think like when you have that depth, you know someone so much better, you feel more comfortable with them, then you can share. And then you have this healing that's just like layered and you get to confess it again and again and again with the people that you trust and you know. And it's like

healing is continual. That's something like we really preach in therapy. It's like, you don't just say it once and then like it's done for good. Like you have to continue to heal because something new will come up about it that you didn't realize. And yeah, exactly. And so it's cool to hear you say that Lydia, because it's like, yeah, of course it felt different to like, say it to Reeves and God versus your friends, because it's like, this is, this is different. These are your girls. And so it's just cool to hear you say that. Friends, if you know me, then you know I love reading the word. I love reading the Bible whether I'm working on a message or a speaking event or just doing

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SadiePenns.com. To get all your Mr. Penn Bible journaling supplies today, you'll be so glad that you did. Despite what you all might think, we have not ran out of things to confess. Yeah, absolutely not. Despite what you all might think, we have not ran out of things to confess. Absolutely not. Every week someone knew I was crying. Some weeks I'd be like, okay, that was kind of a chill week. And then the next week it would be something like that. Because life happens.

Two mommas said this earlier, she said even at its best, life is hard. You just got to go through hard things. Even in the greatest moments, there will be something in life that's just a little challenge. It's a part of life, you know? I remember just in early 20s to later 20s thinking, I've realized in life that almost every season there's a bitter and a sweet. There's something really sweet about it and there's something a little bit hard about it. And that's just part of life and growing.

But, Freddie, I love what you said. And to say that y'all feel like you knew me so much better, it's so cool because when I look back at just me in general and my personal growth, like I truly, like I know I didn't let people know me. Like I know that, I knew that. I always just like to keep it fun, like to keep it light,

like to have deep conversations about things of life, but not me personally. I like to talk about the hard things about my life that were obvious to people. Like, okay, you can ask me that, because that's obviously, but there's a deeper thing. It's interesting, because in podcasting,

when I started podcasting, one of the reasons I wanted to start a podcast was I felt like everyone always asks famous people the obvious questions about them. Like you ask them the obvious thing that they're showing you, but there's something in everyone's life that's not obvious, or why is it obvious?

Why is that their life? What could that have, what could have been the start of that? What's the personal side of that? Why did they get there, you know? And I feel like we've been able to have so many open and honest conversations on this podcast. Because of that thought process of like,

don't just ask them the obvious question, don't ask them the question every other podcast is asking them on their PR run. Like study their life, pray about them, like see what the Lord wants to ask. But in doing that, I also, I didn't let people do that for me, you know? And now I do because I'm like,

I lived in a deep fear of, if they knew this, would they think I shouldn't be like preaching the gospel or I shouldn't be like doing what I'm doing or whatever. But then I think that that's a really big problem in the church that leaders present themselves as perfect. And that's not realistic. And it's not even what the Bible says.

It's like leadership present themselves that you need a savior and that you're constantly pursuing a savior. And yeah, you're gonna follow the Lord with everything in your heart. You're gonna be a disciple of Christ, but you're gonna make mistakes and you gotta get back up and be honest about it, you know?

So I love that you said that, cause it's true. I did not let people know me like that and what a gift it is to be known like that. So cool. At least I know you had a verse. Yes, and I was thinking when you were talking too, like, it kind of goes with the verse, but what I kept hearing in my head was like,

say it so you don't sit in it. And I don't know why, that just popped in my head. But what I mean by that is, when you say it and you bring it to life, the more you say something, the more you believe it. Well, let me jump back a little bit. Say it so you don't sit in it, okay? If you sit in it, then you become content in it.

And I believe what confession is, is bringing something from darkness into the light. But when you sit in it, then you're gonna get content, you're gonna say it's not that big of a deal, or you might talk yourself out of it for whatever reason we give. Once you say it out loud, there's freedom, because you're bringing it from the darkness into the light.

And that's what this verse is saying. It's in Ephesians, and it says, instead, bring them out to the light. And you skip down a little bit, and it says, and when all things are brought out to the light, then their true nature is clearly revealed. For anything that is clearly revealed becomes light. And I just love the wording in that,

because it's saying, once you clearly reveal something, once you speak it, once you say it out loud, you reveal what's going on, then it's in the light. And when it's in the darkness, like just in general, darkness can be scary. And when you're in darkness, you're not seen. You can't be seen.

You can't see in front of you, you can't see what's going on. But when you bring it to the light, then you are seeing what we keep talking about, being known, like that's from bringing things from the darkness to light. So when you bring it to the light, then you are seeing what we keep talking about, being known, like that's from bringing things from the darkness to light. So when you say it, there's power in that because it's released, it's out there, there's people that can pray you through it.

But also, I was thinking about what you were saying, believing for it. I even said one time when we were in group, I was like, I just think I've gotten so like, I've just gotten the mindset of this is just how it's gonna be. Like, I literally have in my mind said, maybe this is how life is now, or maybe this is just like,

if I'm struggling with this, that's just what it's gonna be. And you know, it's just this one thing, so maybe it's okay. And I was like, no, I don't wanna ever be okay with sin. I'm okay with sitting in this. Like, I want to be in a position, because I'm kind of putting God in a box. I'm saying, well, then you can't actually fix this, God.

What is hope? What is hope? I'm just gonna sit in this, but when I bring it out loud, and then I said, I'm also telling you all this because I want you all to hold me accountable. I want people to check back with me on this. And so I want to bring this out of the darkness. I want to bring this into the light.

I want you all to know these things so that you can hold me accountable, that I can be held to a higher standard because that's what I want. I don't want to be complacent in this. I don't want to just be able to sit in my sin, sit in my struggles and say, well, that's just how life is.

It's good. I think that for me, I remember the fear being like, well, I can handle this one. I can handle this. This is too much of a burden for someone else to know or for someone else to handle. I just want to fix this myself. much of a burden for someone else to know or for someone else to handle. I just wanna fix this myself. And it's like, good luck.

You can try to handle it, but you're gonna be up against the enemy. You're up against a real enemy. You're up against some strong forces. And so yeah, try to handle that by yourself, see how it goes, it doesn't go well. It is so much easier to walk through it with friends. And the beautiful thing is,

it's actually not their burden to carry. It's God's burden to carry. You're putting the burden on Jesus. So when I share my burdens with you guys, I'm confessing it, believing for healing. Y'all are sharing it with me, but it didn't hurt y'all to hear my thing. It actually helped heal me.

Y'all prayed with me. Y'all believed with me. Y'all believed with me. You spoke life into me. And the Lord had it, you know? It was God's to carry. And so, I think sometimes we think like, oh, this could be such a burden or whatever. It's like, no, you're carrying the burden

that is actually God's. Like, He will carry for you and let friends in to lighten it a little bit, because they have the capacity to carry it with you in a way that you don't, you know, like it's too much. And so, I think that's been such a gift. It's like, you're so scared, what is, you know, but it's like, man, no, don't be scared.

Be scared to sit in it. Like, that's the scary part. Be scared to fight it alone. That's the hard part. And I love how at the end it says that it becomes light, because not, like I will say, as much as my own confession has been valuable to me, like equally has hearing everyone else's.

Because then I even called Elise after the last one and I was like, like, thank you for saying that because now I also have this confidence of like, if I'm ever in your shoes even remotely, I know I can call you and be like, oh my gosh, like what do I do? Like, you know, like, and even when I shared one of the weeks, Sadie was like,

oh, been there, like, you're gonna get through this. You know, like we need people in different spots than we're currently into. And that's equally as beneficial of like learning from each other and hearing other people's not just my own confession. So that's again, why I said like, do it with people who are willing to do it with you

because you know, I don't think it'd be nearly as beneficial if you shared one time and none of us ever opened up. Right, you know, like one in time would do it. Right, it's like all my chemistry is here. It's funny because most of the time when you share, odds are someone else has gone through it, is going through it, or can just relate to it

on a human level, or will. Most of the time it's met with that. I remember one time, is going through it, or can just relate to it on a human level, or will. Most of the time it's met with that. I remember one time, a long time ago, I was confessing something to a mentor that felt really big for me, and she went, whew, and she held my hand. I was like, oh dear. Her reaction made me feel like,

has no one said that to you? Like, have you never heard that? Okay, that's, I'm just gonna hold that one. Keeping that one in the box forever. Sad, too. Just kidding. Say as you listen to people confess, see, like treasure it.

You know, it's good for someone to be vulnerable with you. What is Brene Brown says is so good. She says- Vulnerability breeds vulnerability. Yes, vulnerability. So true. And it's the, what is she like, it's a gateway to like, but if vulnerability is not met with empathy, she says it's the door to shame she like, it's a gateway to like, but if vulnerability is not met with empathy,

she says it's the door to shame. Like that's so true. When you're vulnerable and it's not met with an empathetic response, then you feel shameful. When you're vulnerable and it's met with empathy and love, it is like a gateway for joy and for love and for freedom. And so Fran, I hope this helped you as you listened today. And like we said, we never experienced this

in this type of way. And not because other friends weren't willing, but because for me, I was afraid. I hadn't pushed myself in that area until I got to the point where I was literally desperate. I was like, I don't wanna carry this alone anymore. So maybe you're out there carrying that. Maybe your heart's pounding even listening to this.

Maybe today's the day that you call a friend, call your mom, call a mentor, go to lunch, set up a meeting. Like I said, you can hang out with friends all the time, but when you set an intentional time to talk about, maybe it's confession or do a Bible study or bring the Lord into it, you will be amazed what happens in the conversations that spark.

So thank you all so much for being so vulnerable in this conversation and all of our confession hours. I love you guys. Love you. Love you. Love you.