WHOA That's Good Podcast - Don't Let Comparison Rob You of the Reason You Were Created | Sadie Robertson Huff & Nona Jones

Episode Date: September 28, 2022

Many people were born an original, but they'll die a duplicate. Sadie and Nona Jones, Meta executive and author, are here to remind us that we were created originals. God doesn't make duplicates, so don't live your life as someone else! Can't escape the cycle of toxic comparison? Nona reveals how you can break free. She also helps us understand where insecurity really comes from. Don't believe lies that counter the truth of God's Word and who He says we are. That's toxic! Nona's book "Killing Comparison" is available now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

JLL believes you should expect more from your office space. So ask yourself, is your office space working as hard as you are? Does it foster collaboration, fuel productivity, and help build culture? Is it designed with intent? Is it a place you want to be? Your office can be a powerful asset, so put your office to work with JLL and see a brighter way. Learn more at JLL.com slash Spotify.

What's up friends? Welcome back to What That's Good Wednesday. How's it going? How's it going? How's it going? How's it going? How's it going? How's it going? How's it going? How's it going? How's it going? How's it going? And say everybody, I hope y'all are having a great week. And let me tell you, it's about to get better.

Because our guest today, this girl can bring a word. She is awesome. Her name is Nona Jones. She is a very successful lady, but she will be the first to tell you all glory to God. She has a crazy story, and I can't wait for you guys to hear it. Also, I want to mention that over on the Ellosister app, which

you can actually download for free now, she's actually going to be speaking so much wisdom as a mentor on the app in this season. Over on the premium subscription, you can get more from Nona Jones, you can get workshops, that have to do with faith, fitness, and even counseling tips. Man, our app is honestly awesome. So download it for free, get a lot of encouragement, or get the premium subscription, dive on in, but y'all without further ado, I cannot wait to talk to Nona Jones about her new book, Killing Comparison.

This conversation is directly to comparison, but also to so many other things. So if you are a girl out there struggling or a guy, I encourage you to turn the volume all the way up and listen closely. It's gonna be a great conversation. Without further ado, welcome to the podcast, my good friend, Noona Jones. I want to thank you so much, Sadie, it's such a joy to be with you. I am so stoked.

Obviously, so many people struggle with comparison. And so this is just gonna be a great conversation. But before we get there and into all the good stuff, I have to ask you the question. I ask everyone who comes on the words, go podcast, what is the best piece of advice that you've ever been given? The best piece of advice I was ever given was when I was early in my career

and a woman said to me, Nona, read everything. Read whatever comes your way because chances are when you get into a meeting, you'll be the only person that actually read the information. Wow. Hey, that's good advice.

And look, you get your books in the background. So, you're a reader, clearly. That's actually good advice, because actually this morning, so my family's going on a trip soon, and there are a sitting all of these adventures that we could do, and I went and read about the adventures, because I'm not about to go on some adventure. I don't know what I'm you know to expect. So I'm reading about this adventure and it's like most of the tubing is done through caves and so you'll be doing miles on the underground. If you don't like the darkness this is not for

you and like if you feel claustrophobic and I'm like okay so all my family Santa I'm in I'm doing I'm doing it and I text her, but I go, hey, I just want to let you all know. You're going to be miles under the ground with a homemade flashlight in water. So just let you know, none of them had read it. They're like, wait, what? None of them had read it.

So that's so funny, that's good. That's great, bye. Someone said, thank you for reading the instructions that you read. And hey, that's good. That's great advice. Someone said thank you for reading the instructions that you did. And hey, that's wisdom right there. So hilarious. Well, that's great advice. So for those who don't know you,

tell us a little bit about you, about your background, your family, and just who is known to Jones. Yeah, well, first of all, I'll start here. Whenever I'm asked to describe myself, like the phrase that I use is, I am a statistically improbable product of grace. And when I say that, what I mean is, you know, where I'm at now, if you didn't know my story, you would be like, wow, that's so cool.

And knowing my story, you would realize, no, that's so God. So right now, I'm married to the love of my life, my husband and I, we passed our local church in Florida. We have two sons, they're 12 and nine. And in addition to that, I also day to day, I work for a tech company that some of you may be familiar with. It's called Metta. We own Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, and Oculus and all of that. And I get to do some really cool stuff there day to day. But my origin story, I think, is really the most important piece because you know, people tend to walk into the chapter your life is on and they just assume that's

the whole story. But I'm an only child. I was born to a mother who did not want to have children. She was actually married to my father for 13 years before she got pregnant. And when she got pregnant, she was actually really angry. And the reason for that is she grew up in a home. There was a lot of poverty, a lot of violence. And I think she just didn't want to have children because she felt like that would be a burden on her life. So yeah, she cried. My dad was super excited to be a father. He always wanted children.

But halfway through her pregnancy, he got diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer. And he was given six months to live. And so he was only 35 at the time. I mean, I can't imagine facing your mortality. You know, your wife is finally pregnant, your only mid-30s, but he fought so hard, he lived until just like two months shy of my second birthday, after which my mother, she moved us to a whole other state, and she met a string of guys who became her boyfriend, And she said, oh my God, who became her live-in boyfriend

when I was about probably five, five years old. But shortly after he moved in, he became sexually abusive to me. And I told my mother, it was about seven. I told her about it. And she had them arrested. And I thought that was it. But on the day of his release from jail,

she actually picked him up, took me with her, and brought him back home. And so the abuse resumed again. And I share that story because I think a lot of times, those of us who have survived abuse of all types, we tend to not talk about it. You know, we tend to say, well, you know, that was then I'm moving on without realizing that everything that happens to you shapes you into who you are and who you become. So, I mean, that's my origin story. I truly a statistically improbable product of God's grace. Well, that's wild and you would never know that you're right looking at your life now and even knowing you you are so confident you are so beautiful you got all these stuff going

on for you and so I think it's so amazing though that you would share the backstory because I think a lot of people are like ashamed of the backstory but it's actually the backstory that makes God look so good and makes you look like a miracle that you are. Absolutely. Which is so incredible. Actually, I had a quote from you. It was like in the back of my notes, but I got to go find it because I love, okay, you talked about in your book,

how humility was a superpower. And I actually want to just go ahead and start with that. Because I think that that is such a thing that's counter-cultural to today. It's like humility does not seem like a superpower. In fact, that you would be the opposite of that. You would come on here and you would be like, actually, I work for this company

that owns like casually owns Facebook and Instagram and I'm a preacher and I'm this and I'm that. But instead you're like, hey, yeah, that's true. But let me just humble myself for a second and show you like the power of what God did in my life. So talk to me about that humility. Was that an aspect that you've learned to have or is that an aspect that maybe your story has kind of given you or something you intentionally seek?

Yeah, it's definitely something I seek because, I mean, first of all, the Bible is so clear, God resists the proud, but he gives grace to the humble. And if you really kind of unpack that, when it says God resists the proud, what it means is God opposes the proud, but what is pride? Pride is essentially believing that I am my source. I am the reason why this was achieved. I am the reason why I succeeded. And when you have that posture in your heart, you really, you just, you don't make any room for God because you're taking all the credit. Everything that God does, he does for his glory. He does for his glory to make his name great. And so the reason why he gives grace to the humble is because he knows that he can

trust the humble. Like God can lift someone to an incredible height. I mean, I look at you, right? The reality is you're at an incredible height and yet you remain humble. And it's not because something changed in you. It's because you were humble to begin with. I believe firmly that success doesn't change you. It reveals you. Success. It enables you to be more of who you already were. And so for me, humility is a superpower

because it makes room for the grace of God. When you can humble yourself and you can say, you know what? Everything I have and everything I am is a gift from the hand of God and you point it back to him. He knows that's a person I can trust with more because they're not going to hoard it and they're not going to take credit for what he does in their life. Something that has been super cool to me is looking through the Bible and seeing story after story where pieces of scripture were memorized and repeated. For generation, scripture memorization has been so important and it still is.

Now, honestly, when I'm memorized more than ever and that is why I loved dwell, they make it so easy and so fun. I won't lie though, some of their verses are a little challenging each month but honestly it makes it so much fun to do it with your family or just the fun ways that they have to memorize scripture. Like y'all seriously imagine if you could just memorize so much scripture that you're just talking to people and it's just flowing out of you, that is my goals and that's why I love Dwell's mission.

Dwell is a monthly membership. Each month you're gonna receive a bioverse memory kit full of fun things like temporary tattoos, like I have right here, that can make great conversation starters, a keychain and a card that has this month first on it. So, super fun little ways to memorize versus, and I don't know about you,

but I love a good family competition, so it could be so fun to see who in your family memorize is the verse first. And if you think that you're too old or too young, Dwell is actually perfect for everyone. Dwell has helped people of all ages memorize over 400,000 verses, and that is a lot, and you can be a part of that. Guys, this is so powerful. I hope you check it out at DwellDifferently.com.

You're going to be amazed at how God can use this one by a verse to change everything. So to show you how awesome this is, we arranged which will have to give you your first month for free with using the code Sadie, S-A-D-I-E. It's so simple. That's well at differently.com and for a limited time only use the code Sadie to get your first month absolutely free. That's so good. Well, my dad actually always says, he always says, you know, people want to get famous and they think that fame will fix their problems, but fame actually just magnifies really you

and your problems. You will still have the same problems, but now everyone sees you struggle through those problems and it doesn't really change anything for you. You kind of talk a lot about that in your book about identity, but first, I just want to go back and, so you wrote this book, Kill and Comparison. And I think that for me, certain books that I've written are specifically like, this is what I'm walking through,

this is what I've been through, so I have so much to write about it. Like, live fearless. Oh my gosh, I was such a little panic attack on wheels. I could talk about being fearless or striving to be fearless and finding that through my faith and God all day long. But then whenever I live, I wrote live more for like a specific call that I felt like the Lord said,

write a book on life and that I come to give life and life to the full because the enemy's taking so many lives because people think their life doesn't matter. So whenever I live, I was like like I don't even know where to start because I haven't necessarily lived these lives you know I lived the lives of here. Even and who are you following I lived the lives of social media but I haven't lived that yet. I feel like this is a book for you and correct me if I'm wrong but it's like you've walked through this like you you've walked through

this you've wrestled through this, and this is like what's come out on the other side. So talk to me about just deciding to write this book. Oh girl, yes, this book is me, it's my story. And honestly, the reason why I wrote it is because throughout my life, I knew that there was something on the inside of me that was broken. And when I say that what I mean is, I would see other people succeed and I

would feel like a failure. And it didn't matter. Like, I mean, my goodness, I was an executive by the age of 23. I was on all these 40 under 40 and 30 under 30 lists, like national publications and all this stuff, and it didn't matter. Like there was never a point where I was like, okay, finally I've made it. And so I knew something was fundamentally wrong, but what happened was when I really started

to do some introspection was right around the time when the pandemic was, you know, starting to take over the world. And I mean, probably like me, you know, a lot of speakers, their calendars were getting cleared because events were getting canceled. Right. Right around that time, I was, I was on Instagram one day and I was getting ready to just like respond to some, you know, people's comments. And I caught a glimpse of my new speed and a bunch of my friends, and I don't follow a whole lot of people,

and I'll talk about that later why in a minute, but I don't follow a whole lot of people, but a bunch of my friends were making posts about this like huge women's conference that they were gonna be speaking at that was like went virtual. And like I knew all the speakers and I knew the host, and immediately I was like, why wasn't I invited to speak? I went virtual and I knew all the speakers and I knew the host.

And immediately I was like, why wasn't I invited to speak? Why was I overlooked? What's wrong with me? Why wasn't I good enough? And there was this cascade of thoughts and the Holy Spirit stopped my thoughts in their tracks and said to me, no, no, why doesn't matter? Wow. And I was like, what do you mean why does it matter?

Like it matters because there's this huge event happening and I'm not going to be a part of it. And I wasn't invited to speak. And the Holy Spirit was like, so do you think you only matter based on the speaking engagements that you have? Wow. And I was like, well, no. I mean, I know I matter to you, Lord.

Like I know I'm fearfully one, fully made. Like I know what the word says. And God said, the problem with you, no, no, no. I mean, like, I know I matter to you Lord. Like, I know I'm fearfully one for the eight. Like, I know what the word says. And God said, the problem with you, Nona, is, it isn't what you know, it's what you believe. Wow. And I was like, wait a minute. I feel like, oh, sure. So I'm sitting here having this conversation with God.

And I'm just like, what are you talking about? And then God said, so clearly to me, say to God said, Nona, your problem is that so many people think insecurity is a question of ego. It's not about ego, it's about identity. And no, no, your identity is not secured to me. And that's why you're insecure. Wow.

And that thing, when I tell you that thing settled on me like like a million pounds, because it was so true, in that moment, it was like 30 years of me struggling with this issue. It became so clear. It was like, wait a minute, Lord, are you saying that the reason why I feel like I don't measure what, the reason why I feel like I'm not good enough,

the reason why I'm bothered that I wasn't invited is because I have secured my identity to something insecure, and God was like exactly. And so it was, you know, a year, a year of work that I did, like hard work to recover ground, to really understand, where did this start in my life? Like how did my identity start to secure itself to the insecure foundation of people's approval? For example, how did that happen? And going through that process, I learned so much that I was like, let me go ahead and start writing about this. And what has happened first is I got invited to speak out of church in South Carolina.

And I preached, I just called it killing comparison. I just preached to this certain killing comparison. And when I tell you people were in tears, like they were in tears. And what I realized is I was like, Lord, what you've taught me about this issue is something that people need. And so that's when I started to write more about it. And that's the result.

That's so good. But I'm super excited about it. Well praise God. Praise God. Because I know people are listening right now and they're like, dang. Like as if God just said it to them, you know, that their identity is attached to something that's insecure. I love this quote that you said. He said, instead of social media causing insecurity, I believe we bring our insecurity to social media and I was like, oh shoot, that is so good. Because so many people, we blame social media all day long on our problems and I wrote this in my book, social media is a reflection of you. Social media is only as healthy as you are. And so I just love that thought, that it's actually not the problem. It's your heart posture is the problem.

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Your office can be a powerful asset, so put your office to work with JLL and see a brighter way. Learn more at jll.com slash Spotify. Absolutely. And I wanted to mention, like, so of course, you know, I work in social media. So for me, there's always been this question because people would say like, oh my gosh, I hate looking at my Instagram feed because I leave it feeling so bad about myself. But then you would have other people that would be like, oh my gosh, I hate looking at my Instagram feed because I leave it feeling so bad about myself. But then you would have other people that would be like, oh my gosh, I love Instagram. I just feel so inspired. And what that really spoke to me is that comparison is kind of like neutral in the one sense. It's neutral. But it becomes either healthy or toxic, depending on the condition of our heart.

And so, like, I was a microbiology and self-science major in college. And, you know, so a lot of times, when I think about things, I think about it in terms of physiology. And there is a process, a physiological process whereby we inhale air into our lungs, right? When you inhale air into your lungs, it gives you life, it gives you vitality. That process is called inspiration. our lungs, right? When you inhale air into your lungs, it gives you life, it gives you vitality. That process is called inspiration. So when we look at somebody and seeing them succeed, you know, seeing them do well, it gives us life and energy and vitality. We're inspired by that. But the opposite side, the opposite physiological process where we exhale air out of our lungs,

that leads to death, that leads to fatigue, that process is called expiration. And this is why when somebody dies, it's called their expiration date. So when you look at somebody and you start to feel worse about yourself, you start to question your worth and your identity. That's expiration, that's toxic comparison. And so my contention with this book is that look, comparison in and of itself is neutral, but it becomes toxic when we start to believe lies that counter the truth of God's word

and who he says that we are. That's when it becomes toxic. Well, that is so good. I'm like, everybody rewind that 30 seconds. Listen to that one more time, because you just poured out so much wisdom in one minute that could literally reshape the way people live their life.

So you're a go-getter. I mean, clearly, I can't even repeat what you made your day and because that was very smart. I'm like for real. I'm like I was gonna repeat it but I'm like no not even gonna try. You have this big job. You do all these things. I know you're a runner. You run a lot. I mean you get stuff done like you do stuff but your identity is so rooted on the word. So give me some advice on for people who do a lot of different things,

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slash woe. That's stitchfix.com slash woe for $20 off today. Stitchfix.com slash woe for $20 off today. Stitchfix.com slash woe. Oh, this is such a good question. This is such a good question because one of the insights that I had when I was, you know, doing my own introspection into my own insecurity is what I realized is yes, I had achieved a lot. Yes, I was doing a lot, but it was because my ambition was actually fueled by my insecurity. And sometimes we do a lot,

and we achieve a lot, not because we are really excited about what we're doing, but because we have secured our identity to becoming that thing, because we think once we get there, we'll finally matter and we'll finally have work. That was a lot of my issue, pursuing career achievement, being the first and the youngest executive and all of that. I wanted that because I felt like, man, if I could just be that I'll finally matter. And I spend a lot of time in the book talking about the power of the voices that speak over us because when I was a child, I mean, I could never please my mom. Like, there was nothing I could do that would make her see my worth.

So she would be very quick to call me a derogatory name. The only time she ever smiled was when I brought home straight A's on our report card. And what that did is that caused me to secure my identity to achievement. And many people have done that to the point where if you don't get the thing you're pursuing, you feel worthless. You feel like a failure. And so for me, the journey really was, I had to not just know what God said about me. I had to get it into my heart to the point where if I don't achieve the thing, I'm not broken by it because the thing is not who I am. I don't have to be, you know, the president of this. I don't have to get on this list. I don't have to get this award. If I do, that's great. But if I don't, that doesn't change my worth

one ounce or one inch. But that comes with believing, truly believing what the word of God says about you. Ms. Good. That's so good. You have a quote and it says somewhere along the line, I had surrendered my purpose for a performative applause. God had valued me before I even had the ability to perform my way into his love. I thought that was so good. And I can relate to that to some sense. I remember when I was younger,

just feeling like, you know, if I succeeded, if I did good, and my parents are awesome parents, but sometimes it would be like, oh, that's when my dad recognizes, you know? So I was like, okay, well, then I have to do really good in sports and I have to succeed in basketball and I have to throw the jab when really far. And then this was my way of performing because my dad would notice and he would say something. And if you don't recognize that correlation and what that's doing to you, you'll start

to correlate that with your relationship with God. You'll start to think and you wrote this and you just said this so beautifully. You'll start to think that you have to perform to earn God's attention, earn God's love, to earn God's affirmation, but the beautiful thing is God loved you before you did a thing. He knit you together in a mother's womb.

And it's amazing that even with Jesus, it was the same thing you get to see that God formed such a relationship with his son. Jesus even whenever he was 12, when we see Jesus learning about the scripture, reading about the scripture, all this stuff, and then he gets baptized, and the Lord says, and God says, this is my son,

who I'm well pleased before he does a single thing. Then after that, he goes crazy. He starts healing people, doing miracles. Does this crazy ministry in three years, but before any of that, God said, this is my son with whom I'm pleased. And so it's just a great parallel to your story that, man, God's so proud of you.

He sees you, he loves you. Before you do a thing for him, and if you don't recognize, if you start to act like that in relationships, and you'll certainly bring that into your relationship with God. I love how you talk about just not letting other people's opinions be too much of like where you find your worth. And I don't know, I'm quoting so much of your book,

but it was so good. It said, what might happen if you no longer waited on another human being to give you the thumbs up or thumbs down before you act and on what God has already said? Do you feel like in life like as far as things that you've done and what not? When did you get to the point where you were like, okay, this isn't about human approval, this is about what God's called me to do. I mean, honestly, it's literally been over the last few years. Like, I could say, I could say with authority

that, you know, looking back over my life and my career, and it's funny because so many people who have known me, you know, 10, 20, 30 years, the word they always would use to describe me is confident. They're like, you just see it's so confident. But what they didn't realize is that on the inside of me, I was always searching and seeking for people's approval. It was to the point where it was people's facial expressions.

If somebody's facial expression looks like it was even questioning me, I would start to feel insecure. Like it would trigger my insecurity. And so it's literally over the last few years that God has really done with me on this issue because he was like, no, no. And going back to your earlier point, which was so beautiful about, you know, God approving of us before there was anything to approve of, if you read Jeremiah chapter one and five,

a lot of times we look at that and we say, you know, oh, well, before God formed us in the womb, you know, he knew us and he had called us. And, and that is true. But you have to, like, slow down for a second. Because we think that means that in the womb we had purpose, that versus before I formed you in the womb, before the sperm met the egg, before you were conceived, God knew you and He called you. And so no, your purpose didn't begin at conception. God decided you were necessary for creation before conception and so taking that as a truth it transformed my life, say because what I realized is my mother didn't want me and yes that can become a burden where you're like I was unwanted literally from the beginning But even before the beginning God called me

So it doesn't matter when anybody says it doesn't matter when anybody thinks whether they agree or disagree God decided before sperm met egg that I was necessary for creation Wow, and so people may disapprove of me. They may disapprove of you But God approved of you to the point where even if you were unwanted, you're still here by his grace. It's so good. And I think that so many people, it's like, you know, you hear those verses and to some extent, if you grew up in the church, they become so familiar to you, you know.

And I love that you said, slow down a minute. Like think about what that means for your life. And like let that change everything about who you are. Let that be above what anyone has ever spoken over you. Let that be above it more of a priority than anything you've ever believed about yourself. That God knew you. And he decided that you were worth coming into this time

of history for some reason, for some purpose. And like that really does change your life. You know, I think if people think like reading your Bible is just something that you have to do or something you should do or read your Bible is just like, oh yeah, that's a good verse, but no, reading your Bible is transformative. Reading your Bible is awakening your soul to who you were created to be. Do you think this is just kind of a deep random question, but do you think maybe because

that is true, that God knew us before he formed, is that that's why in everybody's heart, no matter if they're a Christian or not, there's a longing for something more, you know? Because I mean, you can't deny, like even if you don't Because I mean, you can't deny. Like, even if you don't believe in God, you can't deny that you're so long for something more than this earth. What do you think about that? Absolutely. Yeah, and I think that's why there's so much pursuit.

So, for example, I work in the tech sector, and if you know anything about the demographics of the tech sector, it's not a very faith-friendly sector. So I think the last stat I saw was like 80% of people who work in tech are either atheist or agnostic. Wow. And yet the tech sector is one of the most productive, innovative sectors in the world. They're constantly pushing for new and greater. They're constantly thinking about scale. And I was in a meeting, so CEO of Meta's Mark Zuckerberg, and for many years, he was atheist.

Well, I wasn't a meeting with him. This was maybe about a month and a half ago. And somebody asked the question, like, hey, what book are you reading right now to really inspire? You're thinking about the future. And he said, the Bible. and like, hey, you know, what book are you reading right now to really inspire your thinking about the future? And he said, the Bible. Wow.

He said, the Bible, because for him, the creation story is all about creating something incredible from nothing. And that's what tech is. And the reason why I say that is because even people who say they don't have a sense of God, don't believe in God, they're constantly trying to pursue who God is in their own way. And that's exactly what he was saying. And so, yes, I think on the inside of us, whether we believe the truth of God or not, there's a pursuit of Him because that is in our spiritual DNA.

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Come on, that is good. Man, I'm glad I asked the question. That's so good. Okay, so what I love about this too is that your back story is,. Man, I'm glad I asked the question. That's so good. OK, so what I love about this too is that your backstory is, I mean, it's big. It's heavy. The fact that you know your mom didn't want you

and you walk through that hard story. But now you're talking about comparison. And I think it's really actually cool to hear you say those two things because I think a lot of people think comparison's not a big issue. You know, it's like, can't comparison just seems like a small sin if you will and if you're only listening and watching my quotations are going out because there's no small sin right? It's like, oh, what's just comparison? Don't we all compare ourselves or it's

just jealousy or it's just envy or it's just envy or it's just Whatever and there's just these little things and it's not that big of a deal Like it would maybe be expected that you would come on here and talk about Abuse, you know, which you have talked about some and I'm sure you talk about other contexts But it's that important to you that you tackle the topic of comparison So oh, yeah, it's a little bit about why it is a big deal, if you're struggling with comparison, and it's actually not okay,

because I remember there was a moment for me that I had to wake up because I was like, there were certain sins in my life or things in my life that I was like, well, it's fine because everybody does it. And then I had to write it. Actually, it's not fine because it's not who I'm called to be, and it's less than who got created me to be. And so talk to us about waking up to the reality that actually it's not okay.

Oh my goodness. Let me tell you the reason why toxic comparison is so important and to focus on is because I believe that toxic comparison is the thing that actually robs us of our purpose. comparison is the thing that actually robs us of our purpose. I believe that it's the thing that actually causes us to disqualify ourselves from the reason we were created. And I'll give you a personal example. So, you know, pandemic's happening, you know, everybody has all this free time on their hands. And so a bunch of people were starting, you know, Facebook live shows, they were doing, you know, new podcast and it was all this stuff happening and I started to see like a bunch of my friends who were doing this. I was like, maybe I should do that too. Now here's the thing. I don't have a passion for that at all. Like I love to, like I love this stuff. I love having conversations with people,

but I'm not the one that just loves to think about, what am I gonna talk about in a podcast? How are we gonna time this out all this stuff? But I did it because I saw other people doing it, and then I had other people telling me, oh, you should start a podcast. I did this thing. Girl, nothing, it made me so exhausted.

I was so tired of all the work, and I bring this up because I believe I wasted so much time and energy on that. God never graced me for that. He didn't call me to that. And so here I am doing this thing because I was comparing myself to other people. And God is like, no, I call doing a whole other direction. And you're doing this thing just because you see other people doing it. And so that's why to me, it's so important to identify it and really confront it and get free from it because there are many people who were born and original and they're going to die a duplicate.

And God did not create us to die a duplicate because he doesn't make duplicates he doesn't make extras he gave us each a unique purpose and so yeah that's the reason why it's important. Damn I'm like say it again there are many people who will be born and original and die a duplicate oh my gosh that is that shook me I mean because our whole ministry has lived original, I literally have a big thing that says original behind me. And I'm like, and for me, like my goal, and a lot of what I'm called to do is to go remind people

who they were originally created to be, because I think people think, oh, well, who I'm originally created to be is given to me. So I have that. But some of you need to be reminded of that because you've gotten away from that. It is possible for you to get away from that original person you were created to be and it takes humility

and it takes up purification and the Lord to get back to that childlike faith that he created you to have. So I just love that girl. You are a preacher. I mean, I listened to your sermon this morning, I was on fire and now here you talk, but it's what's inside of you.

And you actually talk about this, it proverbs 23, seven, as he thinks in his heart so he is. And I love that verse as well. That verse has convicted me because for me, because I do talk so much on a microphone. I'm like, whoa, I better make sure my heart is pure because another versus versus say

from the heart so the mouth shall speak, you know? So I'm like, whatever's in me is gonna come out. You obviously, it's so obvious for you because you get in the situation and I'm throwing random questions at you. I didn't send you the questions beforehand. And it's just truth bomb, truth bomb, truth bomb. So talk to me about making your heart pure. Talk to me about, um, you know, as he thinks, um, so in his heart.

So he is, talk to me about the way that you think your thoughts, what you put in and, uh, just your intention intentionality with with what that looks like. Well, I, I think it's so important for us to understand that even in that verse where says, as he thinks in his heart, so is he that word think is also translated, meditate. And when we meditate, we give intentional, intentional mental focus to something. When you give intentional, mental focus to something, what happens is it becomes embedded in your heart. The way that we even form our beliefs is that we give intentional, mental focus to it. I'll give you an example. So I talk a little bit in the book about how I lost a hundred pounds and I've kept it off for

many years now I just did like diet and exercise But before that I felt like I could not lose weight. I was I was like I'll never lose weight. I tried you know, fad diets. It would never work I gave intentional mental focus to what I couldn't do and because of that I believed that there was no way for me to change my condition. It wasn't until I actually gave intentional mental focus to the people who were able to lose the weight and actually learn from them that I started to change what I

believed was possible for me. And so when you think about that scripture, and it says, as you think in your heart, so are you as you intentionally focus, as you intentionally give your mental strength to something, you will become it because you will believe it. And so getting free from toxic comparison, it really requires giving that intentional mental focus to what are the things that are triggering my insecurity. What are the things that when I see it, I start to think like, well, why can't I be like that?

Why are they always winning and I'm losing? You know, why am I not good enough? What are those things? Intentionally focused on that because once you're aware of it, then you can move to the next step of actually pursuing freedom from it. But we can't get free from what we don't acknowledge and our heart is only going to reflect what we spend our time meditating on. Yep. Girl, that is so true. That is so...

I'm just like, yes! I'm just like, I feel like we're just at coffee right now and everybody's watching me just go, yes! Yes! It's so good. I'm like, say I feel like we're just at coffee right now and everybody's watching me just go, yes! Yes! So good! I'm like, say it! It's great! And the last thing I want to ask you about is just the difference between you talk about

this, manufactured significance and real significance. Because I think a lot of people are running after this manufactured significance and that's why they're waking up in the morning and they're not feeling like they have purpose and they're not feeling like they have, you know, they're not doing what they're called to do because, but yet they're doing stuff and they're like, wait, why am I, what am I missing here? Speak to that a little bit just as we close about actually going for things that matter. Yeah, well, I think the reason why I talked about this is so several years ago, God convicted me of something. I was you know starting out at then what was called Facebook and you know I was always connecting

with very like famous people and there was this one particular event that I went to and there were famous people there and you know we were like you know taking pictures and there was this one particular event that I went to and there were famous people there. And you know, we were like, you know, taking pictures and I was taking selfies and I posted a selfie on Instagram with someone. I don't remember who it was. And the Lord convicted me like the moment I posted it. God said, why did you just post that? Are you trying to get people to think you matter because you took a picture with someone who actually matters? And I was like, wait, and the Lord said to me at that point, the Lord said to me, no, if you want to get free from insecurity, you're going to have to stop posting pictures with famous people. And I was like, but Lord, what does I have to do with anything? And God said,

when you do that, you're trying to manufacture significance. So when you manufacture significance, it's basically significance by proxy. It's like, see, I matter because of who I know, or I matter because of the title I wear. I matter because of how I look. I matter because I'm married or because I'm in a relationship. I matter because of something external to me. And I'm telling you about this thing so that you will think I matter too. That's how we manufacture it. True significance. True significance is what we have in the absence of any of that. That's right. Whether I have a college degree or not, whether I have a big title or not, whether I have a lot of money or not, whether I'm in a relationship or not,

there is a fundamental significance that I have. And it goes back to the conversation we just had. Before you were even formed in your mother's womb, you already were significant. God decided that then. and once you believe that, you don't need any proximate estimations of your significance anymore. And so now, if you look at my social,

I post what I like, I don't post to be like, look at me, it's like, there's plenty of that, just post what you like instead of trying to get people to think you matter because of what you share. That's so good, that's so good. I love that because I think a lot of people, it's like the missing piece of the buzzer, like I have all this stuff.

Why do I not feel significant? I have all the famous people around me. I have the followers, I have the job title, I have the husband, I have the boyfriend, I have the baby, I have whatever it, I have the baby, I have whatever it is that they thought that was going to do it for them. And they're like, why do I so not feel significant? And it's because nothing that you can get can make you feel more significant than what God's already given you and who you are. And so man, note this was

awesome. I am so glad we had this conversation. And if I'm not mistaken, you're about to be over in the LO sister app, mentoring, and bringing some more wisdom, which we're so excited about. And if you like this conversation, which I can't imagine anyone not, go buy her book, Killin' Comparison.

It is, gosh, this is just, this is just highlight in some of the surfaces, okay? Like you gotta go deep, you gotta go in you got to go read the book get the whole story get all the advice because she has so much to give no no so fun talking to you and I'm just so thankful to be your friend. Oh, thank you, Sadie. Love you so much. Thank you for your ministry and for having me. This was so fun. Thank you. Love you to in you on.