WHOA That's Good Podcast - Forgiving What You Can't Forget

Episode Date: November 11, 2020

Lysa TerKeurst joins Sadie on this weeks episode to discuss her new book, Forgiving What You Can't Forget. Listen in as they discuss how to move on and make peace with painful memories as well as how to overcome bound-up resentment. Lysa TerKeurst is the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, Uninvited, The Best Yes, Unglued, Made to Crave and 18 other books. Her newest book, Forgiving What You Can't Forget, is available November 17th.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, well that's good for you, I am so excited for today. We are interviewing Anessa and we all in this together. We're interviewing Lisa Terkers for her new book, For Giving What You Can't Forget. This book is incredible. It comes out November 17th. Anywhere books are sold and you are definitely going to want to get this book. I mean, no matter what your life has looked like, this book is going to inspire you. Lisa is amazing. She is a mom of five. She and her husband are just an incredible couple who went through a really hard time, but God has just walked through her through some painful situations and just redeem

so many things in her life that really seemed unredeemable and that really seemed even impossible to her. She would have said, but man, God was so faithful, God was so good and she took the time to dive into God's word and take Him out His word to see a good ending. And so I can't wait for you guys to hear her story. It's going to be incredible. Let's call Lisa. Lisa, I am so glad you were on this podcast and you are one that I'm very excited to ask the whoa, that's good question to what is the best piece of advice that you've ever been given? Well, Sadie, thank you for that. It's actually a Bible

verse. I don't know if very many people give you Bible verses, but I love this. So a long time ago, before I was really even living a Christian life, I came across a Bible verse. It's Matthew 5, 8, blessed are the pure and heart for they shall see God. And I remember reading that verse, it's Matthew 5.8, blessed are the pure and heart for they shall see God. And I remember reading that verse and I remember thinking that sounds ridiculous because you can't see God. And if I could see God, I wouldn't struggle so much with having faith. But over the years, I started to recognize that blessed is that person who desires to see evidence of God's goodness and faithfulness in their life. And when you desire to see God's goodness and faithfulness and God's hand of activity in your life, then you do start to see God. And so I don't

live it out perfectly, but I try to remember when I wake up in the morning and I pray, when I get up from my prayers, I try to remember I just invited the divine presence of God Almighty to do life with me that day. And then I look for his hand of activity and it set my heart on such an adventure of truly learning how to seek God. Well, that is so good.

I love that. You know those bow versus, I mean, I know I've read it before, but it's never jumped at me like that. It is so powerful. And it's so cool too, because normally every time somebody gives me their best piece of advice, you can see it play out in their life. And for you, even reading this book, like, you do see God and like everything. And you even talk about how sometimes that's a struggle because you want to like write

the story of God before he writes it. But I think it comes from that place of desiring to see the goodness of God and your story. And that that's so beautiful. So I can't wait to dive into just this book and this message that you talk about. I just shared with you before we got on that. It truly was so impacting from my own life and just reading it to interview you was something that ended up blessing me more than I would have ever imagined it would have. But it's called forgiving what you can't forget is obviously about your life story. So I wanted to ask you first of all forgiveness is obviously really a hard thing to do. It's something that a lot of people struggle to do and then to write a book about it, it would be extra challenging.

I know about the book writing process and even that and itself is challenging. And so what made you choose the path of forgiveness, which I know is a huge question to start with, and then how did you choose to write about it? That's such a good question to start with. And then how did you choose to write about it? That's such a good question, Sadie. I have to say this message of forgiveness chose me and kind of chased me down. And I remember one of the early writing days, my team showed up and they were ready to hear some chapters

that I'd written and I had not written the chapters that I needed to write because as I started to sit down and put pin to paper, I felt so much resistance in my heart. And so instead of writing good, helpful chapters, I started making lists of all the reasons why forgiveness was impossible. And I listed out things like, well, the other person hasn't said they're sorry. And I don't know if I'm done hurting over this. And if I forgive this, isn't that me saying that what happened doesn't matter? And it very much does matter. Is forgiveness me betraying my own feelings?

Is it me saying that, you know, I wasn't really hurt when the hurt that has been unleashed in my life is not just something I suffered one day, but I'm still suffering because of it every day since. And then when what happened is unchangeable, is it even forgivable? And I had this misunderstanding that I thought the Bible said that in order to forgive, you have to forget. But, you know, I couldn't forget. And so therefore I felt like I couldn't forgive. So what we decided to do is instead of me writing on forgiveness first, we decided to hit the pause button on the book and I studied what the Bible actually says

and doesn't say about forgiveness. We spent over a thousand hours studying. As I studied about forgiveness, I started to understand where things were falling apart for me. I had a very young immature understanding of forgiveness. I really had a little girl understanding of forgiveness that I was trying to take into my very adult world. You see, when I was a little girl, my mom, whenever I would do something to my sister, and I say, I know you've never done anything to Bella ever to her. Never. Never. Never. But I had a tendency as the older sister to, you know, be mean sometimes to my younger sister

and then she would cry. My mom, the great judge would appear and she would look at me and she would say, Lisa, say you're sorry. It was wrong for you to hit your sister and then very authentically I would say, sorry. That's very, very normal. She would look at my sister and say, now you need to say, you forgive Lisa. She understands hitting is wrong, she's not going to do it again. So say, you forgive her. So my sister would say, she forgave me. And then my mom would say, now the two of you need to hug and make up.

And if you don't stop acting foolish, I'm really going to give you something to cry about. And that was a good lesson on forgiveness, however, I never let my little girl understanding of forgiveness grow up. And when I faced some very adult situations, forgiveness fell apart because I kept waiting for the other person to say they were sorry. I kept waiting for the great judge to appear to declare that I was right and they were wrong. And I kept waiting that I felt like the other person needed to learn all the lessons of

why they shouldn't have done this, so that they wouldn't then hurt me again or hurt other people. And so I started to understand as I got into this thousand hours of studying the Bible and forgiveness that I had a wrong understanding of forgiveness and it changed my life. Well that is so powerful and it's really cool to hear like from start to I guess you know beginning of writing this book that that's the process because all the questions you were saying as to why you couldn't write the book from just reading the book it was really all the questions that were answered from a biblical standpoint.

And so it's known that that was where you started. Like this is impossible because of this. But then you took God at His word and read the word, thinking it said, forgive and forget because we hear that all the time. But it really says something completely different is so huge. And I think a lot of times people don't know what the Bible says but they think they do so they just assume what it says because they've heard a really good quote that sounded like it was a scripture and they go with that but it's not you know based off of truth

sometimes and so that's where they get a little bit let us stray and so I think that is one encouragement to everybody listening to that you know know, if you're struggling with something, if it seems impossible, the word of God says like all things are possible through him who gives a strength. And so to take it to his word and find strength from his word is so powerful in this book, that's the whole book. I mean, you unpack the Bible so beautifully. Christian was sitting beside me and I just kept saying, dang, and I was was like listen to this. I mean I read him so many parts that some of the revelation you pulled out just from the Bible was was huge. Something that I love that you said is you said God is not a do nothing God. And a lot of people I do think say that why is God not doing anything?

And especially a year like this, why is he not doing anything? Where is he? But you claim God is not a do nothing God. Where does that come from for you? Well, I was at a speaking engagement one time and I was sharing my story and part of my story that I don't get into all the detail of my story in the book. But you know about what I was facing

as you walk through the book and you follow along the narrative of what I was experiencing in my life. But part of it is that I found out my husband was being unfaithful and it was so shattering and so shocking. I held it private for 18 months because I didn't want to invite public opinion into our very

private pain. But after 18 months, I thought we were about to cross the finish line and be reconciled and then everything fell apart again. Our story was not a neat and tidy story of discovery and then repentance and then reconciliation. It was a very long drawn out hard process. And there were so many times in the journey where I felt like it was gonna be impossible for reconciliation to happen.

And a big point that I make in the book is that, you know, just because we experience forgiveness, forgiveness is a command by God, but reconciliation is very dependent on whether it's safe and whether two people are willing to do the hard work to come together. So I was sharing some of that at a speaking engagement and a lady raised her hand and she was also in a very devastating place in her marriage.

And she said, I just don't understand why God is doing nothing. And Sadie, I understood where that question was coming from because I knew what it felt like. Art didn't live in my home for two and a half years. So I went from having five kids and a full family life to all of the kids growing up and moving out. And when my last child moved out, so did my husband.

So I was utterly alone when for my whole adult life, I'd been so, so like my house had been full of so much life. And it was so hard. And I knew what it felt like to wake up at two o'clock in the morning, terrified alone and having to realize all over again that my husband wasn't home and you know and it was just brutal. So I knew where this lady's question was coming from. But I also knew that just because we wake up every day and we see certain realities in the physical, that's not the full story. Everything

that we see with our physical eyes is what we are experiencing here and now. But at the same time, God is always operating in the spiritual and we may not see it, but we don't have to see it to believe that he is doing something. I Comed the pages of scripture and I realize with God. There's always a meanwhile There's always what we're experiencing and at the same time. There's what God is doing and here's where I get in trouble And you mentioned this just a minute ago. I love to say, you know with with God, all things are possible. And then I love to look at a hard situation in my life and run ahead of God and write out the script of all the good and all the possible that God should do.

And then I want to hold God accountable to my version of good. Yeah. And when God doesn't follow after my script, I can wrongly assume he's doing nothing. When in reality, he's very much doing something. It just wasn't the something I expected. But here's the good news, Sadie, that God knows better than we know. Here I am on the other side of this journey with art and through a series of just crazy miracles, God did bring us back together, but God never listened to one of my suggestions.

He never followed after my plan because my suggestions to God could have only caused change, behavior, and art. And God was after rescuing his soul. Yeah. So he did it differently, but he never was doing nothing. He was always doing something. I just couldn't see it, but we have to know God does his best work in the unseen. That is so good. Come on. Somebody needs to rewind that about 30 seconds and listen to that whole thing again. That's so good. Come on. Somebody needs to rewind that about 30 seconds and listen to that whole

thing again. That's so powerful. I quoted this from the book because I thought this quote was so good and it's what you were just talking about. It says you can't edit reality to try to force healing. And that's kind of where you were talking about the whole sometimes want to play out all the things that God could do that would make this possible, that would make this good. And I think sometimes even in just our Instagram, blog, world, you know, we do that. We want to edit things to make it sound better, look better, but you really walked out the process of healing and forgiveness. And I wanted to ask you this question that you really laid out in the book.

And this was something that really was a pivotal moment for me as I was reading because you talk about just the hurt that you're going through, but at the same time, the forgiveness that you were giving. And so I think a lot of people might have this question too, like, can you forgive someone and that thing that they did still hurt you? You know, it's sad that that is such an excellent question because I think we've wrongly understood that once we forgive all the hard feelings go away. And just because we forgive doesn't mean that we've then attended to all the emotional healing that needs to take place, because forgiveness is both a decision and a process. So we make the decision to forgive, and sometimes our feelings haven't even signed on for that decision yet.

But we don't do it by overriding our feelings because forgiveness is not based on our determination. Forgiveness is our cooperation with what God is doing. So as God's forgiveness flows to us, we make the decision to forgive by letting God's forgiveness that flow to us, flow through us. And so we have to understand that forgiveness is a decision and a process. We forgive for the facts of what happened. That happens in a moment in time in obedience with God. But then we walk through the process of forgiving

for the impact that that had on us. That process of forgiveness is where we tend to all of the emotions and the emotional debt created. And if somebody causes you a $ dollar hurt, then the process of forgiveness will probably be pretty short. But if someone causes you a five million dollar debt, emotional debt of her in your life, that process could take a lifetime. So what my counselor helped me see, and I also, in addition to studying what the Bible says

about forgiveness for a thousand hours, I did so much counseling. I had to do a lot of counseling. But what my counselor helped me see is that I used to get so aggravated because I would forgive someone and then a month later, I would be driving down the road, I would get triggered in pain and then I would be angry and bitter and frustrated all over again And then I would feel like a forgiveness failure So I don't know if that's ever happened to you. Oh, yeah, for sure

Triggers are very inconvenient because you can't time them So you know if I could say I'm Tuesday night at 7 p.m. I'll be sitting in my bathtub That would be a great time to have a moment, a triggered moment where I have to process something emotionally. But that's not the way it happens. It happens like in the middle of everyday life. I'll be five minutes from getting on stage to do a message and suddenly something happens. Somebody says something. I see something. And I get triggered in pain and it's so inconvenient. But what I've come to understand is that that is not an act of cruelty by God that we can't forget the ways that we've been hurt.

The hurt stays as long as it needs to be tended to. And when we get triggered and pain, that's just a reminder by God. There's more hurt that's sitting in our heart. And we can have another marked moment of forgiveness. I forgave them for the fact of what happened, but now I must forgive this person for the impact that this had on me. And I always add this little statement at the end.

And whatever my feelings will not yet allow for, the blood of Jesus will surely cover it. I love that. Because like I said, sometimes our feelings won't sign up for this. But that's where we cooperate with this gift of forgiveness that God allows. Well, and so powerful. It's such a good way to say, and what my feelings

won't allow. I know that the blood of Jesus will cover. I actually quoted this to you that I love from your book. It says hurt feelings don't want to cooperate sometimes with holy instructions. And that's so true, but allowing God to come into that those hurt feelings, you know, to forgive is so powerful. You had a crazy physical experience to physically painful experience in the midst of this emotionally painful experience. I know with your colon and even with cancer and just several different things, but something that I really stuck out to me was just the revelation that you kind of got about pain.

That the pain is actually what saved you in that experience. Can you kind of share that story? Because I think even though it is so hard and it's even unimaginable to when you read the book, it's like, how did all this happen? But what God showed you and that was huge. Sure thing. So when we have hurt that's sitting inside of us, hurt that goes unattended too long and that just sits inside of us too long long will eventually turn into hate, bitterness,

you know, just huge traumatic emotions. And I read a book one time that said the body keeps the score and that really does happen when we have all of this emotional trauma that sits inside of us, it can really cause a lot of physical damage as well. And that's exactly what happened to me. I woke up about six months into this journey. I woke up one morning and I went to step out of bed and collapse beside my bed. I was in so much pain.

And I couldn't even stand up. So I yelled from someone in my family to come and help me. They rushed me to the hospital. The doctors hooked me up to an IV to try to get the pain under control right away and started giving me pain medication, but nothing was helping. So they decided because I was in so much pain to admit me to the hospital and they were running tests,

but all the tests were coming back that I was okay. So I laid in that bed in excruciating pain Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Well, finally on Friday morning, a doctor came in and said, Lisa, we ran one last test and we finally figured out what was happening to you. Your colon has detached from the abdominal wall. It's twisted around itself and cut the blood flow off inside of you. And we are going to have to go in and remove most of your colon. And then he said something to me that should so much light on this struggle I was having. I had been struggling so much thinking, God, where are you?

Why aren't you taking away this pain? If I had a child that was in this much pain and I had the ability to take away their pain, I would. So why aren't you doing that, God? And that's what I'd been struggling with that whole week, but that doctor right before he left to go to the OR to prep for surgery. He turned around and he looked at me and he said, Lisa, I know that you have been asking God to take away your pain, but I'm just telling you that if God would have done that, then you would have gone home. We would have sent you home. The only reason we kept you here in the hospital is because you were in so much pain. The only reason we kept running tests is because you're in so much pain. And if God would have taken away the pain, we would have sent you home.

Your colon would have ruptured and you would have died. Wow. And so I realized in that moment that God loves us too much to answer our prayers at any other time than the right time and in any other way than the right way. We just have to trust when we are walking through pain. We can't try to figure out as we navigate our pain, is God good? We have to state at the very beginning of our journey, I know my God is good. My God is good to me and my God is good at being God. Therefore, I can filter everything I'm facing through that truth and I won't get lost.

Well, that is so powerful. That's so good. I need to do that in my own life. That's amazing. When you talk about in the book about forgiving God, I've had something that looks like such a shocking sentence to me, I feel like, what does that look like to forgive God? What does that mean to you? Well, say, the, I know it is kind of shocking because, you know, you think, well, God's never sinned. So God, you know, do we have to forgive God? And the reason I titled the chapter for giving God is because I think

that's where a lot of people are when they go through something hard and we know that our God is big and is strong and is powerful and is mighty and all capable and So when God doesn't do what we think he should do or when God allows something and we cannot possibly when God allows something, and we cannot possibly understand why God would allow this. We can not only feel hurt toward the person that hurt us, but we can feel hurt that God didn't prevent this from happening. I don't know if you've ever had a situation like that in your life. I'm sure, yeah. It's hard. It's really, really hard. So what I had to do is go through this process of, do I need to forgive God? I have some really hard feelings.

It's all around me not understanding God and me not understanding why if God saw that this was happening, why didn't he stop it? And so in the chapter, I really take people through a process of understanding. It's not that we need to forgive God. God doesn't need to be forgiven, but we do need to process our hurt around what God allowed. And at the end of the day, it really takes us on a journey of understanding that God does have good in mind. But he also is a God that allows us to walk through things that don't feel good or seem good as we are on our journey with him. And that's where faith comes in. And that's where trust comes in.

And I can look back now, Sadie. And I can see so much more clearly what God was allowing. And I kept asking God, bring art home. But God loved me too much to bring art home before God rescued his soul. And I kept saying, just bring him home, just bring him home. And I think God loved me too much to bring a broken version of art home that would have betrayed me and hurt me again. God did bring art home, but it wasn't until God had really done some work on art

that art became the man that loves me the way that God wanted me to be loved. That's so powerful. That's beautiful. And even just seeing, I know I got to see you in art recently, and it's so amazing to see all together and just the strength that you two have in one another now again, and probably even a new found strength. I wanted to ask you this last thing because there is a shift in y'all's relationship and y'all is even just the whole process of getting back together and you talk about that shift

being the vulnerability that you shared. And there is also a shift in the communication going from shameful things to hopeful things, shameful words to hopeful words. What about looking for y'all, and then for other people going through maybe a similar situation, how do you shift from speaking words of shame to really breathing words of hope or life over each other. Well, good question, say the, I wanna also state that sometimes forgiveness includes reconciliation and sometimes it doesn't, but God's redemption is there no matter whether we experience reconciliation and our human relationships or not.

And because of God's redemption and the redemptive work that God does in our life, we can change the way that we speak about situations and that we speak to people. And so I had to let God show me, before I ever knew if Art and I were going to be reconciled or not, I had to let God show me, how do I pursue redemption, God, so that I don't always tell the story proving how hurt I was, but I want to exchange that proof of hurt for wisdom and perspective that can help other people.

And one day I was studying in Genesis, and if you've ever spent time with me sitting around studying the Bible, you know, I go back to Genesis just about every time I study the Bible. But I was reading in Genesis 1 and 2 and then even Genesis 3. And suddenly it occurred to me that when God said it is not good for the man to be alone. So he created a suitable helper for the man. What in the world am I supposed to help with? What does that mean? Suitable helper. And when I studied that, it means that the woman is in full view of the man and she is reflecting back to the man almost as a reminder to him. And as I started to think about that, I was like, well, what am I supposed to remind him of? what am I supposed to remind him of? And as I looked at the story, Sadie, I realized

man was made from dust. And I think about this. Dust is something that we brush away, we brush aside, we don't get very much thought to, right? We just clean it up and move on. And yet God breathed his very own breath into this seemingly insignificant dust And yet God breathed his very own breath into this seemingly insignificant dust and out of it created man.

So man is not just dust, he's also breath of God. Wow. And I think as women, we are supposed to speak that over these men in our lives, whether it's our fathers, our brothers, our husbands. You know, can you imagine if we can look at them and say, you're not just a sum total of the mistakes that you've made, that equals shame. But you are also breath of God, created by God,

to be a reflection of goodness and glory of God. And you're supposed to shine that out everywhere you go. And yes, you've made some mistakes. That points to the dust reality of you. But you are also breath of God. And so if I speak that over them, then imagine the man then reflecting back to the woman, you're not just broken off bone. You know, when we see a carcass on the side of the road,

and I know some people take those things home and decorate with them, and I get that. But for the most part, when we see dead decaying bone, we don't think it's a treasure. What do we want to do? We want to bury it. But a woman is not just broken off bone meant to be buried. A woman is also touch of God, design of God, hand made by God. And so can you imagine if we could stop the echoes of shame that are hindering people

all over the world? And if we decided to participate in the divine echo, speaking life over one another, telling these guys are, you're not just dust, but you are the breath of God. And then them echoing back to us, you're not just broken off bone, but you are the touch and design of God. And this divine would change all. Come on. Yeah. It's so good. I'm like getting so excited every here. It's crazy. Like, I mean, reading the book and then hearing you talk, this message is just in you.

Like, I like sitting here about start clapping when you started talking because it's like, she's going there like every part of the book that I just love is just flowing out of you because it's in your heart. Like the Bible talks about there and good treasurestored up and the good man's heart and it's just so in you. And so Lisa, thank you for the a thousand hours. Thank you for the wisdom that you poured in to be able to pour out. And for just going to counseling and just staying in the marriage and you and arts reconciliation. I know you said that doesn't happen for everybody and that's true and there's so much hope in this book even for that story if

that plays out in your life but for y'all's reconciliation it's been a beautiful thing to watch and to read about and it it's powerful. And so thank you for just who you are for your whole family. You guys are amazing and doing such incredible things. And we're so so thankful to be you guys' friend. Well, thank you, Sadie. I feel the same way about you and I pray many, many blessings every you. I think Sadie, the person I just described who is committed

to speaking out the divine echo. I think you are one of the strongest voices of that and I am so proud of how you speak truth and life over your generation. Ah, thank you. That's like the best compliment I could get. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Welcome back to the OneOTEF good podcast. We've practiced that way too much. Only one time actually. Yeah. Don't let her play. Alright we are reading the Good and Badadvice into it by the WOTEF good podcast.

Instagram account, thank you to everyone who follows along and sends in. Good and badadvice, it keeps us very entertained. And no advice. No advice. We kinda do. As human I guess. bad advice that keeps us very entertained. And no advice. We're so appreciate you. No, we don't. We kinda do. As human, I guess. Okay, no, we appreciate all of you.

Thank you for sending good advice. Here is what we got. Question everything. Very simple. Question everything. Question everything. I don't think that's good. I don't think that's good advice.

I don't even get in what context it's like. Well, okay, from a questioner, I get you. Okay, because I do question most everything. I don't think that's good though. I think at some point you have to just trust God and begin to trust people. But I think there's wisdom to questioning something. I think some people naively jump into things

before they thought about it, where they ask questions. And questions can save you from a lot of trouble later. You're not asking questions upfront, can save you from questions you would have found out months later from people. So I think it's good to ask questions, but not if it's in a like untrustful, almost like, I don't trust you. I'm going to question everything.

I'm going to question every move. I don't trust anybody. The government's up to get me like, you might not want to take it that far, you know. Yeah. And I think definitely discernment can kind of coincide with questioning. And I actually heard something this morning, it was a quote by Spurgeon and it said, discernment is not necessarily the difference between right and wrong. It's the difference between right and almost right.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, I was like, that's really pretty good. I like that a lot. All right, just live a little. Is that a Kenny Chess song? Is it? Live a little. Is that a kidney chest or something? Is it? Live a little. You hold it, is it?

Every ever does a person has to say it. I might be gifted in singing. You know, you might hit a talent. I can harm it, I said I just can't sing. But just live a little. I may type one on the Instagram, so in health, I go to a seven, which means kind of the adventurous. Inventures, yes, you always tell me that.

So just live a little, I think that it's not bad advice necessarily, but I do think, you know, if it goes into the idea of like just live a little, have some fun, go live and sin, then I think it's horrible advice. Yeah, because a little normally turns into a lot. But yeah, it can be good. Everything is good, normally in context, you know, like you can make that a good thing, like for somebody like Christian who at times can be very like, this is what we're gonna do, this is the way it's gonna be done. Like sometimes it's like,

you know what, just live a little, let's just give it a, let's just have a good time. Yeah, be smart. Somebody like, hey, just live a little, come to this party, come just have a drink. Like, that is just like starting a conversation with the enemy, you know. Horrible advice, don't listen to that person. But come the person you're looking for is looking for. You're looking for is looking for. So I think become the person that who I'm looking for is looking for.

So I want to become a man. Oh, that's good. That's good. I like that a lot. Yeah. I actually think that Mike Todd's Relationship Series, which we listened to before me dated, I felt like before the person and like preparing yourself to be the person who you're going to be in a relationship before you enter a relationship. That was great advice because I feel like

by the time Christian and I met, obviously I didn't have it all figured out. Obviously we walked through a lot, but I was prepared to enter the relationship that we were going to enter because I was like confident who I was I like the job that I knew I wanted to do I like knew the type of person I wanted to marry and so I had like a guidance of like Life and who I was going for instead of just like floating around thinking like oh I hope Prince Charming like lands in my door set one day, you know There was like a preparation there. Yeah, I think when you come to terms with who you are and who God has called you to be, I think you're able to walk in that confidence and the person who's looking for a person like you, then you can be confident. Yeah, that's great. All right, let's go shun. Focus on discipline before

desire. That's good advice. I know for me a few years ago when I first started kind of following Jesus that I definitely desired him But it was only as well as the practical points that I made to read or to pray to want to go to prayer things Go to attend church and do these things with Bible study and over time that discipline really cultivated my desire Yeah, I think about that even with like social media like honestly I had the Bible app on my phone and think about that even with like social media like honestly I had the Bible Apple my phone and like you don't always like want to click on your Bible app like you just want to go to Instagram or you want to go to YouTube and it kind of is a discipline to be like actually I'm gonna choose that first and every time I do I get lost in it and I'm so glad I did I'll start reading somebody's

Bible say they wrote or I just get lost in a book of the Bible and then I'm like oh you know I'm like done with my time on my phone. And so sometimes that discipline, let me start as a discipline, becomes a true desire. So I think that's great advice. So good. Yeah, I think that's great too. And I think too, you don't want to get into,

make it a habit to where it becomes like a legalistic, religious kind of mindset, but I do think that if you create healthy disciplines, that they can definitely form your desires. Yeah, so good. Thanks for sending in, getting better advice, the way that it's good Instagram page, keep following along and send us some more advice and maybe we'll talk about it. Goodbye.

Thank you so much for listening to the WoW That's Good Podcast. I have so much been doing this. I hope you'll have fun listening. And don't forget to follow me on Instagram at legitsadyrob and follow the podcast at WoW That's Good Podcast. I don't know where it's a live original dot com to see when I'm in a city near you or visit live original blog on our online store which carries my exclusive words by city rob line.

Also, be sure to subscribe to my podcast and leave comments so we can hear what you're loving. Also, when you give a special shout out to my audio engineer, Marcus DePalla, the whole team at United Talent Agency, and my live original team. You guys are awesome and hey, so we're all of you too. Thanks so much for listening. you