WHOA That's Good Podcast - From American Idol to Audience of One- A Redemption Story | Sadie Robertson Huff & Breanna Nix

Episode Date: October 1, 2025

You probably know Breanna Nix from her showstopping duet with Brandon Lake on the 2025 season of American Idol, but what you might not know is everything that led her to that Hollywood stage. Breanna opens up to Sadie about growing up in a broken home, not knowing her real dad, and the painful truth that sent her spiraling into rejection and shame. She gets real about being bound by food, how she rebuilt a healthy relationship with it in a way that honors God, and now coaches others to do the same. Sadie can’t wait to hear about Breanna’s now-viral moment with Carrie Underwood, who encouraged her about “just” being a stay-at-home mom. Plus, Breanna spills the tea on the crazy weeks leading up to her American Idol audition: fights with family and church leadership over whether she should even compete, almost passing on dating her now-husband, and how marriage and motherhood have completely changed the game. This Episode of WHOA That's Good is Sponsored By: https://helixsleep.com/sadie — Get 20% off sitewide today! Start taking your sleep seriously with AGZ. Head to https://drinkag1.com/whoa to get a FREE Welcome Kit with the flavor of your choice that includes a 30-day supply of AGZ and a FREE frother Upgrade your sleep with Miracle Made! Go to https://trymiracle.com/WHOA and use the code WHOA to claim your FREE 3 PIECE TOWEL SET and SAVE over 40% OFF. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Christian and I took their two-minute sleep quiz and got matched with the helix midnight. It's not too soft, not too firm, but the perfect balance for side sleepers like us. I wake up feeling way more rested and ready for all the fall things, bring on pumpkin spice, and all the earth tones. Go to helixleep.com slash 80 for 20% off site wide. That's helixleep.com slash Sadie for 20% offsidewide, helixleep.com slash Sadie. What's up? Well, that's good fam. Happy Wednesday, everybody. I hope you're having a great week. But per usual, it is about to get so much better. Y'all, I'm so excited for the guests that we have on the podcast today. And she's actually here in Louisiana. I have to just say it was so funny when she walked

in the door at Duck Commander. She walked past and I walked in right behind her and I just saw the face of the girl who works at the front desk. She was like, oh my gosh, that's Brianna Knicks from American Idol. And so there we have it, Brianna. I'm so excited that you are here. I know so many people are going to be so excited to see you on. I am so excited to be here. Thank you for having me on here. I'm pumped. Yes. Welcome to Louisiana. Yeah. It was so funny. You got a little lost today and I was like, yeah, this is not the place you want to get lost. Yeah, there's eye patch ladies out there. We never know what we're going to run into. You never know, friend. And I'm just grateful you're here. I've said this to you before we started

filming about say it again. Watching you on American Idol was so fun. I totally voted for you every single week. And it was so funny. You were like, really? I was like, oh yeah. I actually did. And I made everyone else do it too. Thank you guys. And you just did an amazing job. Like think about Jesus saying, you know, you are the light of the world. City on a hill cannot be hidden. And you, you were the light. Like, you just were shining such a beautiful light. You didn't hold back with your testimony, with the way that you led worship.

And I think sometimes on American Idol, and, you know, this might be a hot take. But sometimes in American Idol, when people go on and they sing a worship song, it doesn't go well. You know, like, in the past, now it's, like, so common. But in the past, it felt like when people did a worship song, sometimes that would be like the end of their journey. something. And I was just so refreshed by this time, that was not the case at all. It was like everybody was singing worship songs. Like you sang them so many times. Other people did too, but I think what was different about now than maybe in the past is it was just so naturally who you were. Like you just seemed like you were made to worship and like we all are. And it

wasn't like a forceful thing or a striving. Like that was just who you are. And it was so beautiful to watch and cheer you on. You did so well. So congrats on making it so. Thank you so much. Seriously. I really find it like honoring to hear. I've heard multiple people say that, you know, like it was like you were made to do this. And, you know, we're all made to worship. That's literally what our duty is as Christians, right, to worship the Father. But, you know, looking, not even to jump into it and get so deep so fast, but just, you know, looking back like over my life, you know, I always felt, man, I'm so unworthy to hear all these things, you know, like, who am I? And it's at the end of the day, it wasn't anything in myself. That was all God. Yep. You know, and I remember, like, right before I walked into the American Idol doors, like, they'll never get out of my mind. There were these big, tall, white doors with these golden handles.

And I opened them up, or they opened them up. And I remember walking, about to walk through. And I just closed my eyes. And I was like, God, if this is what you have for my life, I will get a golden ticket. But, Lord, I will put you first before anything. And I feel like that's what, you know, made me go as far as I did. Because, you know, like, God's favor is right. I really, I feel it.

was honestly it's true i mean you can see that and it's so cool that you say that because i remember having similar moments before walking into big things being like god if this is you then like you have to do this through me because i feel so incapable of doing this on my own strength and um it's so cool to watch what the lord does but you don't think you could be able to do on your own um before we get too far into i got to ask you the question i ask everybody who comes on the podcast um but what's the best piece of advice that you have ever been given? So I've actually been thinking about this because I knew you're going to ask this question. And years ago, my husband and I were, I think, engaged, about to get married, and we were sitting in my pastor's office. And he was just, you know, chatting with us. We're very

close with him. And he had a piece of paper and he drew the map out of the church on his own. But he also highlight the actual blueprint, you know, from years ago when they gave it to him to build the foundation of the church and all the things. And he told me, he said, said, you know, look at all these buildings. He's like, look at, you know, the ground and, you know, all the things that are inside. He's like, it's beautiful. He's like, everything looks amazing. He's like, but what holds this up is the foundation. And he's like, and without the foundation, everything will crumble, everything will break. And he told us basically, you know, God needs to be the center of everything, the foundation in your own personal walk and also in

your marriage. And that has literally stuck with me since that day. If God's not in it, it's not going to be good, you know, and it will fail. And so just having God is my foundation. That's so cool. And you can see that, like, even you saying that right before you open this gold handle doors, like you made sure God was the foundation of even your American Idol journey, which is so cool. I want to ask you, I have so many things I want to ask you about, but I do want to talk

about American Idol a little bit because that is your most recent journey and it's a really epic one until a lot of people just got to know you. what was your experience like I mean actually before we even get to the experience how did you even get to the point of auditioning because I know it's hard to even get into the room with the judges so what was that whole process like

I don't even really know I don't have the words to explain it it's just my husband and I we really felt a burden to start posting like music on social media just somewhere like getting it outside of the church walls and what were you doing before just every now and again like doing a special

at church that's all we did And if we were lucky, like, someone would ask us to come and take a chance on us to do worship at their church. And so, like, that's all we did. Wow. But we were praying about it. And really, I kind of brought it to my husband. And he's like, wow, he's like, you know, I've been really feeling that in my soul too. So yeah, we should start doing it.

So slowly we started posting on social media and all my life, you know, like I heard, you should try out for American Idol. You should do the voice. You should do this. You should do that. And there was comments that were also being, like, posted on my social media of that. And I don't know what it was. I just remember, like, I just got into a wreck, like, a couple weeks prior, and I was laying on the couch, you know, just, like, bed red and really, like, couldn't really walk and move. And something was just, like, just post that video on American Idol's tryout page.

And I was like, okay, whatever, what are they going to say no? You know, like, who cares? Let's just try. Wow. You know, like, not even thinking, like, I just want to say I did it, you know? What song did you do? So I actually sang a choir song that we were doing at my church by Ann Wilson. Let me tell you about my Jesus.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, one of the best songs, I feel like that's part of my testimony in itself. And so it was just crazy that that song is what, like, opened the door. Yeah. But it was just a very bad lighting TikTok that I posted and I forgot about it because I genuinely, like, I did not think anything was going to come out of it. Like I don't, yeah. So I was helping people lose weight.

And someone signed up to go under like my little program thing that I was doing. And I checked the email and right below that person's name that signed up was American, I don't notification so I'm like oh they're gonna tell me no whatever so I remember laying in bed I opened it up on my laptop and my husband was asleep my son was asleep it was like dead quiet in the house and congratulations rano we liked your audition tape we would love to see you again and I'm like what what you're like this is crazy and so I actually missed did you wake your husband up oh I did I slammed a pillow in his face I'm like I just I got accepted you know just like what like he had no idea. It was so crazy. And I actually missed every day in Texas to go do my Zoom audition. And so I'm

like, yeah, this is dumb. Like there's no point in me doing this, especially going on nationwide. Like that's everyone around the world. Like there's no way I'm going to get in there. You know, and my husband like, babe, you already come this far and like you should just try. And so I'll never forget it. I opened up my laptop. I didn't even have an ounce of makeup on. I probably had stains on my shirt from just like doing motherhood duties. You know, my husband was at work. And I opened that thing up. and I waited and I sang my songs and the lady that actually was on the Zoom didn't know any song I sang at all and she's like oh okay well why don't you try like Carrie Underwood song you know I had no idea she was not going to be a judge and so I can only think of Jesus Take the Wheel right

classic that's awesome I sang it and it pushed me and got me to the executive producers and I thought they were just joking with me and they're like no you're coming so then we were there it's also impressive because Jesus Tate the Wheel is a very hard song I know why did I that song. For the average person, that's probably what set you apart. Because most people who sing Jesus take the wheel, that might have been the end of their journey. But that was the beginning of yours. That is so cool. So from that point, that's whenever you got, like, you knew you were going to actually go in front of the judges. Yeah. So that's when they told me, okay, you're going to try out for Luke Bryan, Lionel Richie, and Carrie Underwood.

And I was like, Carrie Underwood. And they're like, yeah. And we think you should come in maybe with that song. And I'm like, you're lied. Like, I'm not doing that. But I did. So it was just crazy like and the song went right with what i was just experiencing like i had no like that's why i feel like it's such a god moment because that song like it was it was just a spur of the moment kind of pick for me you know like oh what do i sing what carry underwood but jesus took the will was talking about a car accident you know with the little one in the back and i just literally experienced that just weeks before this with my my son and so it was just crazy like how god knitted every little thing together and it turned into like a ministry song really

In my perspective, and I was like, take it over Jesus. See, that's what you did. When I say the authenticity of you singing these songs, when you sang a worship song, you weren't just singing, you were ministering to, I think, yourself and to everyone who was listening. And that's why I think it was like there was such a connection point there with you because it just felt so authentic and so inspiring. You could tell that you believed every word you were saying or you were speaking it over yourself, which was really, really cool. So how long did you have to prepare from the time you knew you were going to the judges to getting there? Well, that's kind of blurry now. But I remember I tried out August of 2024 and then in, I don't know, I think it was October or maybe it was November.

We were there in Nashville for my audition in front of the celebrities. And then from that month to January, we were filming Hollywood Week. And then Hollywood Week on out to the end of the show was kind of like stacked on, stacked on, stack on stack. like, let's go. So it just happens so fast, honestly. Fall is in full swing and honestly I look forward to bedtime more than ever. Our days are packed, play dates, park runs, chasing little ones around. And by the time the toys are picked up and the PJs are on, I'm even more ready to crash than the kids are.

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helixleep.com slash Sadie for 20% offsite wide. That's helixleep.com slash sadie for 20% offsite wide helixleep.com slash Sadie. When you got up there in front of the judges, were you nervous? Like, what was your internal state? Oh, my word, Sadie. Like, let me just tell you. So I wasn't, I am usually the nervous type. Like, I'm freaking out. I'm sweating. You know, like, I drank too much caffeine. Like, I'm going crazy. That's like, all the things. And my husband's like usually really, really laid back. Well, we got in there and I'm super chill. And honestly, you know, in the Bible where it just talks about like the piece that passed is all understanding. That's what I was feeling that whole day. And my husband was opposite. Like he was frantically panicky, didn't know how to play Jesus take the will in the rehearsal room. So I'm like trying to calm him down. And I'm like, dude, I'm going to crush this audition. That's awesome.

But as soon as those doors open and I walk in there, I'm like, okay, where is the piece that doesn't, you know, that doesn't fade. And it doesn't pass on your dining because like, I'm freaking out. I get that. And the sweat started coming. And I'm like, you know, it really hit me in that moment. And all my word, like, I still remember, like, literally shaking in my boots. Like, I was just standing there. And I'm like, what did I get myself into?

Like, I remember staring at Carrie Underwood. And I'm like, is she actually talking to me right now? Like, it was crazy. That's so interesting. We made it through. So cool. Yeah, it was crazy. I mean, it's so cool.

I think, like, I feel like a lot of people, I don't know if everybody, but a lot of people envision themselves trying out for American Idol. What that would be like, what song would I sing? How would I do it? You know, but you could never prepare yourself for actually being in a moment like that. One of the most, like, iconic moments, I think, from your, journey was when Carrie asked you what you do. And he said, I'm just to stay at home mom. And I loved how Carrie fired back and was like, you were not just to stay at home mom. I actually used that

in a sermon this past month. Actually, I probably should have told you that before this, but it kind of just came out because it was such a powerful moment because I think a lot of people relate to that feeling of being asked, like, what do you do? And feeling like what they do isn't enough. It's not impressive enough. It's not whatever. And so you kind of, we all tend to do this. You either get insecure in that moment. You say, oh, I'm just whatever. Or people might feel an insecure in a different way and try to over-explain what they do and who they are. But that is like a tough moment. And whenever you said that, I felt like every mom around the world could like totally relate. Did you feel when you said like, I'm just as a at home mom, did you feel an insecurity

in that moment? Or were you just kind of- I 100% did. Really? I first of all, like, on my first thought was how did I what did I get into you know and like the enemy was already like when I tell you like it's going to get deep really quick okay because when I tell you the enemy fought me like the enemy fought me because I brought this to like my church leadership and asked them hey like this is what I feel the direction of the Lord is what I feel like I should do and they said no like that's not really from God like this is not what God wants for your life and and we're completely like 100% against it and just told me like if you were to pursue it, like we can't support you in this because we just don't think this is God's will for your life.

And so, you know, growing up, like, that's all I held on to was like that, you know. And so like it was a very trying time for me because after I got accepted, you know, I started fasting. I don't know why. I just felt like I should fast. And so I started fasting and praying, like really asking God, Lord, is this what you have for my life? because, you know, you hear the horror stories with Hollywood, whatever. And so I'm like, I don't want to put my spiritual self-endanger, my family, especially my son, you know, like I don't want to put us in harm's way at all,

so God give me wisdom. And every single time I prayed about this, I just felt God tell me, go. And it was crazy because about a year and a half before any American Idol thought came through my mind, I remember I was sitting at the piano and I was in such a broken season of my life. I'm talking broken, like shattered.

And I remember praying. and I was asking God, Lord, let this be, let this happen. And God, for weeks and months kept telling me, no, I have greater, I have greater, I have greater. And I became in a frustrated kind of mood, if that makes any sense. I was on the piano, I was just banging the keys. And I remember I was like, then what do you have for my life? If this is all you have, like, this can't be. You've given me a talent to sing.

And I'm not using it, you know? And it was just, you know, a moment of really selfishness. But God's like, I have things you'll never be able to imagine. And then I remember he spoke to me nations upon nations. Whoa. Tribes of different tribes. And I held on to that. And so American Idol came about and I fasted and I prayed and I brought that to my leadership.

And God re-brought that to my memory. You know, he's like, I told you that you will be singing in front of nations upon nations, tribe of different tribe. And I'm like, okay. But the enemy fought me. Like he fought me. He fought me with doubt. I mean, he fought me with torment over my son. Every single night, like I was restless.

I couldn't sleep. And at first I'm like, well, maybe that's God trying to tell me, you know, I'm so confused. And that's exactly what the enemy was doing. He was confusing me, which is not from God, and wearing me plum out and making me doubt what God told me to go do. And so finally, I don't even know the question you asked me, but finally, you know, like, I fully surrendered that over to God and was like, Lord, I trust you. Like, I don't know what the next step is going to look like, but I know you told me to go. And I don't know, like, how far I'm going to get. And I'm just going to take it step by step.

And so whenever I was there in American Idol, I was already thinking about all these things. Like, I'm not enough to do this. Like, what did I get myself into? And I remember standing there, and they told me, prepared me, you know, like, hey, they're going to ask you your occupation. Like, what do you do?

Like, what makes you stand out from everybody else? And I sat there and thought about it all day. And I'm like, there's nothing. Like, I can't, I come from a broken home. You know, I don't do anything, you know? Like, and I just started beating, like, letting the enemy, beat my mind up. And so when I walked in there and she asked that, I'm like, I'm just to stay at home

mom. And little did I know that that moment, you know, God was going to use Carrie honestly to just speak life into me. And that's literally what carried me through the whole way was that little moment that we had in my audition. That was like the most beautiful moment. And I didn't even know the backstory. And now it's even more beautiful. I have so many like thoughts. I want to ask you, when you, so when you came to your church leadership and they said no, that was specifically for American Idol. And so you went from that and fasted and prayed. Did you ever go back and talk or did you just pursue what you felt the Lord was doing? We did. And it didn't go great. And I kind of just told them like, you know, like it was very respectful. We left on,

you know, we're still on great respectful terms. But just like honestly, you know, just being so transparent with like the whole entire world you know because there's so many people that are in this when god tells you to do something that's because he has a calling on your life and your calling on your life is not going to match everybody else's opinion yep and everybody else's call that's on their life yeah and that was the biggest thing i learned in that small little season that came into american idol all the things but conversation did not go well yeah to say in the least we left on great terms, but I just plain out right knew that, I mean, it was a fight with my family.

It was a fight with so many people, like, that loved me. Of course, they wanted the best for me, but, like, the enemy used a lot of really close people to come in and try to stop what God was wanting to do. And I know, when I say that, I know that with confidence because American Idol was great. You know, I was able to minister to thousands and help so many people, but what the cameras didn't see and show the world was small conversations that I had with people in tiny little rooms, you know, or walking to someone's hotel room down, you know, my room, whatever, just to go in there and pray for them, you know, like the world didn't see that, but God knew that they were going to need

someone, you know? I love that you're sharing this because I think that's something that's not talked about a lot, that whenever God calls people to certain things, it does often feel like the closest people around them, sometimes the enemy can use in such a way that, because you know, you typically would listen to them, you typically would respect what they're saying, but if the Lord gives you something and you know for sure that's what the Lord said to do, then even if it's a church leader, even if it's your mentor, even if it, you know, you have to weigh it beside what the Lord's saying. And I mean, yes, you're so wise to like fast and pray so that you felt really confident enough to know and to say like hey i respect you guys i respect um y'all so much but in

this area this is what the lord has called me to and knowing that and man i've been studying the life of john the baptist and it's so cool because like he was prophesied over you know the angel came to his father was like this is who your son's going to be and there were a list of things that john the baptist was going to be that were different than everybody else and there was a calling on his life that was to a higher standard than everybody else. And I just think about if John the Baptist would have, you know, looked at Jesus and like, well, he's doing this. Like, actually we do that. I was like, no, you are the ones supposed to prepare the way. You know, like, you're different than him, you know. And this is what I've called you two. We were talking about

this yesterday. Like, it's interesting that they prophesied over John the Baptist. Like, he wasn't supposed to drink wine because he was going to be filled with spirit. But then you look at Jesus and disciples, and they were drinking wine. But if John the Baptist did, like, that wasn't his call, you know? So like, you do have to be, you have to hear from the Lord on that. Like, God, what do you have for me? And if it looks different than somebody else, and that's okay. And I think, too, you have to trust God inside of you. Like, so many people are like, I feel like Christians, we're too scared of the enemy. Like, we give the enemy too much credit when it's like, no, God defeated the enemy. And we have the spirit of living God inside of us

to rebuke, you know, anything that comes at us outside of his will for our life. And I think A lot of people go, like, oh, I'm so scared of Hollywood. Like, what would Hollywood do to me or my family? And it's like, okay, but what could you do for Hollywood? You know? Like, that's the thing. I mean, I love that. People do that with our family all the time, like reality TV or me going to dance in

The Stars. I got the more hate, way more hate from the church than I did from the world and Dance With the Stars, which is a confusing time. That's a 17-year-old because I'm like, I'm trying to be a light, but all the church can think about us about them dancing on TV. And it's like they didn't see, yeah, the conversations I'm having. having with people in our little trailers. Like that puts you, like, in places that you're the light.

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so you said before you were helping people with their weight loss journey. I know that's a passionate topic of yours, which is so. cool, by the way, and I was looking at your interim day and your pen post was like your journey. J.D. Robertson was looking at my Instagram. Yes, I was. I told you. I'm a huge fan. And I saw your pen post about your journey, and I was like, wow, that is crazy. Like, just showing the different pictures and how far you've come. And, you know, I always feel like sometimes it's awkward whenever people share, like, you know, when people, like, share videos on the self crying on social media but like it was yours was so sincere like you had like tears streaming out of your face and

I could just see man this is like a huge part of your story that you had to work really hard for it's a huge part you speak a little bit into that so I'm still on my journey but the journey I don't even really like to call it at first I was like here's my weight loss journey but after the years you know moved behind things I started to realize it was just a journey of like and even more so now like you have to be sometimes careful with these words because people go crazy with them but I have just been feeling the conviction to honor the body that God's given me and at first it didn't start out like that it started out 100% I just need to get skinny you know like I need to just be a certain size you know so I can you know live long for my son and then it

turned into okay 100% just health minded like okay I got to get as healthy as it can for my son and then now it's more so more so turning into how can I present myself every single day as a ministry to others through my body. And I know that sounds crazy. But, you know, the Holy Spirit really just has been convicting me of that. Because really, like, God wants us to be inside and outside full of him, you know, and an honoring of them. And my weight loss journey, when I started, you know, like just looking back at it, like four years ago, my mind was so unhealthy. And, like, it showed on my body, you know. I was in such a broken and bad place. I was married happy thriving in that area, but I was like literally showing all the trauma that I've gone through

in my life, you know, and I really believe that like if you fully are surrendered to God, you know, and 100% sold out, you know, that God can help you totally 100%, you know, like build yourself inside out. And I don't even know if that makes sense. It does make sense. I think it's kind of cool because you went... Did that make sense, actually? It actually does make sense. I think it's cool that you went from, I got to do this for my son.

I got to do this for my son. I got to do this for everybody. Like it became like a ministry for everybody. So I want to be healthy. I want to do this. And I think it's cool that the Lord just continues to like define to you what it means to be healthy. And I think that that's beautiful

because I think a lot of people, it just stops like, I want to be skinny or I want to be this. And it's like, I don't think that. It was almost like a pride issue, too, thing that I had to lay down because it was like it turned, you know, turned into like, oh, well, like, I need to look this way. I need to look like her. And it was like turning into, you know, at least I don't look like that one anymore. And like, God really just like stroke my heart and was like, no, like your body needs to honor me. Yeah, that's cool.

When people like, especially the fact that I came from like 300 and something pounds to, you know, wherever I land at, you know, like God's going to be my help. you know, show me where I need to be. But, um, it's cool. Just like showing that little small difference, you know, like God can really just like clean you up in all ways. That's hard work, friend. That's awesome. I feel like I'm so rambled right now. You're not rambled. Friend, I hope you feel confident. Everything you're saying is such a blessing to so many people. You know, we have done a couple body image podcasts in the past and like those are always some of our most listened to most watch because so many people struggle with that. And, um, we've, I've had a comment because people have said to me like, oh, well, you don't really understand because you

haven't, like, you haven't been bigger. And I'm like, but I've really struggled because my mind's been very unhealthy when it comes to food and exercise and all those things. Because no matter really what your size is, you can make an idol out of anything. You can make anything become something that becomes unhealthy or even sinful because it really distanced you from God. I mean, it separates you from the Lord in some ways. And so for me, I'm like, no, I've actually really struggled with that. It's been something that I've overcome, but it's something I always have to keep track of, just like where my mind's at whenever I'm thinking about my body.

And so I think that I think everybody can really, I think what you're saying, it's hard to put words to in general when it comes. It's so hard to. It's so hard to put words to. And it's so vulnerable and it's so. And I think, too, it's like also a personal thing, you know, but like if I could just like recap what I was trying to say is, you know, like, one of the biggest takeaways from my weight loss journey that I've noticed is when I am, like, in the gym and I am fueling my body

with the right things, you know, don't get me wrong. There's times are like, I could throw down a cheeseburger, you know, and I still do, but like, you know what I mean? Like, there's times where I'm just like rotting in bed and I'm like, give me an extra fry, you know, like I don't need it, but you can notice a difference when you're exercising and you're eating right, just the clarity that's in your brain. And it's like when you're overweight and when you're eating like a sob and you're acting like a sob, then you're laying in bed. You don't want to read your Bible. You don't want to go serve anything. You don't want to, like you're serving yourself. It's healthy really is. I feel like whenever you let the Lord define what healthy is to you,

it really is, it's more of a spiritual thing and it's beautiful because it's not just about being healthy like, oh, I weigh what I want to weigh or I look the way I want to look. It's like, no, my body, soul, mine is healthy. Like for me, this morning, this might sound funny to people, but like I made cinema rolls for my girls. And I love it. I love it. cinnamon rolls. But a lot of times I'm like, I don't need to eat it because it's not good for me, blah, blah. But then this morning I'm like, I'm going to eat the dang cinnamon roll because I'm eight months pregnant and that sounds really, really good. And to me, and if someone could argue this, this is my journey, my experience, I'm like, it's healthier for me to

have the freedom to know I can eat this and it actually not mess with my mind. Like I'm living in freedom. Like I'm not being unhealthy. Food can be an addiction. I'm not overdoing. it. I'm not being crazy. I'm eating a cinema roll my girls in the morning. And I feel fine. You know, it's balanced. And so I think, like, when you argue that what's healthy, sometimes it's unhealthy when you sit there and you just think about it and you're like, I'm not getting a similar, I'm not getting a cinema, blah, blah, and it like becomes this. Well, my thing is like crazy cycle. The fact that you just said that actually kind of brought clarity to my mind because so many people they're like, well, if you would just not bring it to your house, then you won't gain weight. You won't eat

it and I'm like dude you don't understand like food is like a drug it's an addiction for certain people and I think it's really like awesome that you said that because like I feel like that's the freedom that I'm seeking I have I have found a little glimpse of it and God's helping me and that's really to tie in what I was trying to say is I was bound by food you know I was going through all of this yeah it is like it's bound it was it's a mentally mental yeah place to be in and you can't always see it like it doesn't always show up like that's that's the thing with when you hear people with eating disorders, you can look at people at all different sizes who struggle with the same thing. And it's an internal thing, you know? And so I, I'm super

thankful that you share your journey. I'm super thankful that you talk about it. I think that there's so much power and just fumbling through things sometimes and trying to put words to something that like everyone's feeling but doesn't know how to say, you know? No, truly. And I actually didn't even think you fumbled your way through it. Genuinely, I was tracking with you. I was like, yep, that's good. Someone's listening there like, what is going on? It's like, what's happening? No, most everyone there is like, I know exactly what they're talking about. You said that your trauma was showing up on your body and that you had a broken home background. Do you want to share a little bit about kind of where you come from?

Yeah, so this is kind of like the more vulnerable part of my testimony, really. But I, again, I've been feeling from the Lord like to really just share this. And I hesitated on American Idol, but the more like I've prayed about it, you know, so many times people think, that like I'm not even like trying to boast or brag about myself but like top three American Idol like she has it all together like her life is amazing beautiful family beautiful son which you know these things are true but I've come from a broken home and my dad is actually like a child predator you know like that's been in prison well for my whole life because of that you know and when I found that out like it was that's it crushed me like you know

like crush me not only is he out of my life but like what he did you know what I mean and so I know that's like really tight and it's very uncomfortable but like it's your story just to share that you know like people so many times I mean I know I've done it is like looking at people and I'm like man they have it all together like why can't my life feel like that and then you've come to find out it's like wow they don't have it all together and that's just um like that ate me alive like it ate me alive my whole life growing up I had a stepdad and I thought it was my dad you know what I mean and when my mom and my first step dad split up um my mom like broke it to me basically was like that's not your real dad you know I had questions like why am I not going to see him like all this kind of stuff and my mom like

broke it to me and was like that's not really your real dad and so then I had more questions okay well where is my dad so finally like at a young age my mom told me that and I remember like oh my word the feeling of rejection like it was just it's I just like not like unless you felt it and dealt with it your own like I can't explain it like it is it was insane like it ate my life away for years and my mind and um you know then the split between my stepdad that I called dad you know for years was extremely draining you know my mom was struggling with alcohol and um I'll never forget like we were going to church and I like 9, 10 years old

I'm like I don't want any part of this stuff this Jesus stuff you know like I know the name of Jesus but like I'm never no way there's no way he can't be real because if he's real and my family still is acting this way like no I don't want it

and so yeah I just I was trauma a lot of trauma that I went through and um so young too at a young age the weight started like putting just coming on because I was trying to feel something and I know it sounds so crazy it's like one of those things

unless you've just been in it you understand and if you haven't then you won't but I would eat so much that I would feel sick and that was like the only feeling that I could feel it was so strange and so I was like physically going to throw up or physically like laying there like oh I can't anymore you know and it was because I was just trying to feel something I didn't feel nothing you know I just like I had such a hard heart, you know, towards just life in general. Wow. I'm so sorry, friend. Like, truly, I'm so sorry that, like, actually brings tears to my eyes because I've never

experienced something. I haven't experienced that. And for you to say, like, unless you've gone through it, you don't know how to understand it. But I remember in a dark time of my life, like, not feeling anything. And it was when I didn't feel things and emotions properly that I would turn to things that were not healthy because you just want to feel something or you want to control something.

And a lot of times that can take you down a really hard road. So I know a glimpse of going down a path like that, but nothing like what you experienced. And I'm so sorry you had to. It's wild to me that at 9, 10 years old, you're like, I want nothing to do with Jesus. And fast forward, I know you to who you are now, just watching you on national television,

and ministering to thousands of people, how did that change? Like, how did you actually come to trust God? That's kind of like in the beginning, like when I was telling you, like, when people tell me, like, oh, just the way you honored God, I'm just like, you know, I sit back and I'm just like, I think about all the things, you know, because I remember, like, how I felt for years, you know, towards it. And I don't know. I mean, we relocated to Dallas, like the Dallas area because my nephew was facing a lot

of health issues. And so not only was I dealing with like all the rejection and then like being fat and overweight and all the other trauma that, you know, I'm not going to mention today that my family was just going through. We relocated here and slowly started getting plugged in to church. And my mom, you know, thank God, the Lord got hold of her. And she like truly finally sold herself out to Christ. So thankful for my mom. She started forcing me to go to church. And there was this like youth night we had on Friday nights. It was just youth kids. She would make me go, I hated it. Did you see a change in your mom? I did. Did you tell? I did. And it made me mad. I don't know why. Because she was just happy now. I think that's why, you know, she wasn't as miserable as

what I was feeling. Wow. You know, and there was so much chaos that was still happening, but she still remained, you know, like with the joy of the Lord. You know, not always perfect, of course, but like the joy of the Lord was her strength and it really showed. And I hated it because I'm like, I'm miserable and like half of this is your fault. I blamed my mom for it. Yeah. You know, and so like I hated her a long time. And it was, I'd really hate saying that, but it's just the truth. I hated her. And hated her even more like when she forced me to go to church. But slowly, every single Friday night, my heart kept getting tender and more tender and more tender. And there was this one service where like the Holy Spirit was just, I'm going to get emotional. The Holy Spirit was just moving so. strong and i remember like my friends were they're praying and i was sitting down like in a chair and i like man i really wish i could get freedom from all this stuff but there's no way that god's gonna touch me like i said so many bad things about god and rejected them so many times and i'm so broken and i'm so ugly and yeah i'm too dirty and i remember someone grabbed my hand and brought me up to the altar

and I remember like falling down and like everything was black from that moment but when I woke up I just felt like God was like literally getting my heart and just putting it back together and there's actually like a song that I'm trying to write through that testimony because like it was just crazy like it's like literally all things are like black and I woke up and it's like I had like a vision in my mind like my heart it was just so ugly and so dirty and there was like band-aids all over it and cracks and bruises and it was lumpy on certain parts but God had his hands on it and was like slowly putting it all back together and I wasn't perfect I can't say like everything changed and I was 100% different no like I still had things

that were there but I remember like I gave my life to Christ that night like I knew Jesus but that night I've come to like find him you know like I heard about him but I found him that night myself. And I was like 13 years old that time, about to turn 13. And it was so crazy, like how God progressed my life and like called me into worship and all kinds of different things. My youth pastor at the time, the assistant, he heard me sing and was like, oh, you've got to get up and lead worship. And little did I know. He signed me up to do it. And I was there and I just jumped up and I did it. And, you know, every week God was building on that. You know, I still didn't have a relationship like I do now, you know, kind of young and immature and stuff. And this had no

idea. But it was that turnaround moment that I had. You know, that's literally what God has done. I'm about to turn 26, you know, in August. And from 12, you know, almost 13 to 26, God has taken that broken heart and has mended it and brought it better. And, you know, like I've done, you know, things I'm still not proud of, you know, everybody has mistakes. But God has been faithful. and I have found him to be like that true friend, you know. And like, it's crazy going back to American Idol. Like, I thought I, you know, let things go. And I thought, okay, well, I'm not dealing with this anymore. And, you know, God brought a lot of restoration in my life and my family's life and healed a lot of pieces. And I got a love for my mom, which was crazy. I didn't think that could ever come about again. But, like, I adore my mom. She's like my best friend. I call her, like, and talk to her all the time. Which was crazy. And, you know, I got a wonderful husband. But I got an American Idol. And I'm like, oh, I adore. okay well like I don't have anything to talk about and little did I know that like through that

journey God was going to heal me through the situation with my dad wow I didn't even know that I was still harboring those hurtful rejection kind of type feelings until I got on American Idol you know I talked about there's so many interviews where like I just had my mascara running down my face and like we sat there for like two hours because like I couldn't get it out and it was like therapy really and like through American Idol, you know, that season in my life that I recently just got out of, like, God healed me. And through my healing, he was able to heal other people in different ways. So that is like, I just talked in eternity, but no, you didn't. You could have kept going. I mean, seriously, friend, that is absolutely beautiful. Thank you. Talk God.

Let the Lord heal your heart like that. And I can't wait to hear that song, because I remember a time that I was like, it was weird because I was just driving the cool. arm. It was in a tough season of life. And I truly got a vision of my heart being, like, stitched together. And I felt like the Lord was, like, healing my heart from some things. And when you said that, it took me back to that time of my life. And I was just like, man, like, what a good healer, you know, like, we talk a lot about physical healing, but, like, no, like to heal your heart and to mend it. And to go from, like, a bitter nine to 13 year old girl who by all rights had every right to be bitter and to stay better and to stay in that zone but for God to heal your heart and for him

to place a gift in you that you didn't know was like even going to be used in the way that it was used and then here you are worshipping and the next thing you know you're on American Idol next you're testifying to the world but all the while still healing your heart you know um so curious when Brandon like asked you to do daddy's DNA yeah was that like I mean just with all the going on with your dad and with that was that pretty wild and it's even crazier like that happened on the finale yeah yeah wow like that's just and i didn't like so i came back for my hometown visit and we had like 12 hours to prepare for the show of course yes and i was trying to like we just i literally flew back from texas got back to los angeles and was in the studio immediately

to record my first single and then i got the news hey you're going to be saying with brandon lake And this is a song, you know, learn it, here it is. And so I stayed up, I remember really late trying to learn this song. And at first, like, I didn't even, like, really hit me. You know, I'm like, oh, this is just amazing. Like, and then I'm freaking out, like, I could just sing with Brennan Lake. Like, what's going on? But then I look back after the finale, you know, and I'm like, you know, you know how you, like, you know how you like, you know, reminisce on things.

And so I'm, like, just thinking about the whole journey in itself. And I'm like, wow. And then I'm like, wow. And I'm like, oh, wow. And I'm like, look, and I'm like, God, you're crazy. Because, like, I came in and I was, like, you know, dealing with, and I just said that, like, dealing with all this stuff. And I thought, you know, okay, I give, giving this to you, God, giving this to you.

And then my dad issue came up. And I really have been feeling recently, like, I need to open up and share, like, why he wasn't in my life. Because there's so many reason why, you know, dads are not in people's life. But, like, why was my dad not in my life? And I just been feeling like I need to share that. And it hurt me. And it traumatized me.

and it broke me, but God restored me. And little do I know it would happen on American Idol. And then he put the cherry on top. And it was like, Daddy's DNA. Like, I'm known by the father. It gives me chills. Isn't that crazy? It's so crazy.

It's like when we have the eyes to see what God is doing, it's actually insane. Like, when you're telling this story, I'm like, you sang Daddy's DNA at the finale. I'm just like, God, you're crazy. Did you like choose that? You couldn't have chosen because you didn't know it because he hadn't put out that song yet. Like, it was just hitting me real time, too.

I'm like, whoa. Yeah, I remember, like, the first time me and Brandon Lake sang it, we were, like, I had the words and, like, I said, it didn't hit me, but I remember the first time we were on the stage and we were rehearsing, and I feel so bad for Brandon, like, because I didn't really know the song. I was trying to act like I did because I'm like, this is Brandon Lake. Well, that was a new one. I only had, like, 12 hours to learn it.

I'm so sorry. You already sang a Brandon Lake song that you crushed on that season, so, yeah. But we were standing there on the stage, and I actually asked him about a line in the song, and he started sharing his desk. And a little bit I know, you know, after weeks went by, he's like, hey, like, I really want to get this audio and use it for my deluxe album. Like, are you cool with that? I'm like, am I cool with that? Let me check.

Of course, you know. And then come to find out, like, this song is going to be part of my testimony because I was healed, you know, and fatherless has now found the father. And, like, who I am is through my daddy's DNA. Crazy. I listen to y'all's song this morning, the deluxe album. And it's so beautiful. And so as you're sharing the whole dome, I'm just like, this is wild. Like, God writes the best stories.

You literally can't make it up. I want to ask you, because you talked about how you do have this beautiful family. Like, you and your husband are so sweet together, watching the way he loves you and supports you and was so proud of you was so sweet. And your little boy just carried such a piece. I mean, literally slept through like half the show, which was just so cute. And I think every mom was like, how does she get him to just sleep like that? There are so many rumors. She gives some melatonin. I'm like, I actually don't.

No, it was so sweet. It was so sweet. And just how proud they were of you. Coming from a broken family and a broken past, what has it looked like for you cultivating the healthy family that you have? It just goes back, honestly. Like, Austin and I, we've had our struggles. You know, every marriage goes through hard times. And there's been a lot of hard times in our marriage. And there's been a lot of times where I'm like, ooh, like, how are we going to make it through this one. But I think what has helped us is going back to what I said in the beginning is the foundation, you know, and we're not perfect people. Like that's the last thing I ever want

to portray to people is that like we have it all together and we don't make mistakes, yada, yada, yada, because we're so far from that. We need a savior to save us from all of that. But God being the center of our marriage is what has helped us the most. Just going back to that. that source and you know there's been times where we like I said we question things and like God like you're going to have to help us here you're going to help us there and he's done it every time he's been faithful and I feel like that's the biggest you know just putting a plug out there for any teenagers out there aka my niece if you're listening like make sure he's a godly man you know because that does make the difference that foundation back to your beginning thing like the

foundation of your marriage has to be the Lord I remember Christian and I built the house that we live in And it was actually funny because of the way that like the rain and was coming in the storms. They were going to lay the foundation, but they had to lay it like two in the morning. And so, and I really wanted to be there when they laid the foundation. But I was like, it's two in the morning. And we had children. So that's not going to happen. But me and Christian, like, set our alarm and woke up.

And while they were laying the foundation of our home, we were praying. And we, and that was really important to us because I just knew that this is so much more than like concrete, you know, that, like, they're pouring today. Like, this is the foundation of the home that we're going to raise our children in. And so we prayed for, like, the spiritual foundation. And I just, like, that's one of my favorite memories of us praying for the spiritual foundation of our home. And our home is, like, our place of peace, you know?

Like, it is our first ministry. It is our place of peace. Like, it is where our kids are going to be shaped and grown into the people that they're going to become. And so that foundation is so important. But it has so much to do with who you marry. and the prayers y'all pray together, the life y'all choose to live together, it's not perfect, it's messy, there's all kinds of things, but to your point, like, it's so important who you marry. And I also, like, I laugh about this because when I first met Austin, he was so not my type.

Like, he was so not my type. It was like, he has blonde hair. Now it's kind of brown because he's getting old, but he had blonde hair, and I'm like, ugh, I don't like blonde hair. You have blonde hair. I don't actually. Like, I have a natural brunette. I know it's such like a, yeah, like my hairstyle is so good. But he had blonde hair and I'm like, it's how I type.

And he was dressed like a city boy and I'm like so into country boys. I'm like, no way. So when he was trying to like get my phone number and talk to him, I'm like, dude, you don't have a chance. Like no way. But I like look back and I'm like, he's more than I ever could have dreamed. Like it's just even looking back at videos we post on social media. like how did god like god just he was working things out say he 12 13 years were broken and hurting and god led me to be a worship leader and then he gave me a husband who sits and plays the piano right

beside me so cool and play the guitar really any instrument and it's like yeah god he just like he knows like he has the roadmap yep you know and it's like all we got to do is literally what the scripture says trust him don't lean to your own understanding because it's kind of lean to harm it's true but if you just lean on God. Like, he's going to lay that road map out. It's great. Things you can't even think will happen. Just a little side sermon to all the ladies listening.

That's a word because so many people are too picky for their own good. And they miss out an amazing godly bend because you don't like their hair color or you don't like the way that they dress. And it is about the heart. Like, man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. It is so, so important because I just hear so many girls say things like, oh, well, yeah. Because he's, I'm like, are you kidding? me that's where you're not going to go on a date and a second date with this godly man because he wore

blah blah or khaki shorts yeah and like those things can change okay hair color can change outfits can change a heart is a lot is a lot harder to change and so I love that you shared that last thing I want to ask you because you know this kind of when America was introduced to you it was probably for most people from that Instagram clip of you say I'm just stay at home mom and then Carrie speaking into your life now you're not just to stay at home mom You are, you know, going around the world singing and people, you're writing music, you're putting out songs. Like, I mean, that's a lot to carry. You have a big following now.

And so what does that look like now for you? Of course, still being the amazing mom that you are, but also working because one of my best friends is a stay-at-home mom. And we, like, we, it's so cool because we both face challenges in such different ways. It's challenging to be a stay-at-home mom. It's challenging to be a working mom. I love that I have her in my life because we relate on a lot of things and we learn from each other on a lot of things. But there's challenges to both. And so how are you kind of carrying, walking through being who you are and still raising your fam?

It's just God, honestly. Like, he gives me strength that I don't think I have. And as I'm fulfilling, like, I mean, my motherhood is a ministry and I've learned that throughout the years is that's my first ministry. So if I'm serving that, you know, then I can serve my second ministry, which is in my marriage. And then my third ministry is what God call me to do, sing and worship. But I just feel like God, like, so beautifully, like, put it all together, you know. And just weeks and months before American Idol came about, my husband was able to get a job where he just works from home. And so my husband is, like, my safety net, like, in all things.

And he picks up all my slack. and um god does most all the heavy lifting obviously is what i can say it's like some days i'm like oh you know like this is a lot this is crazy and then other days i'm like ral you got this yeah hey that's so real it's sort of going with the punches that's like motherhood and shell some days you're like this is it's going so good some days you're sitting in the corner eating oreos crying that's real that's so real my husband sent me this uh dm yesterday and i was like I can't even be offended because that is so accurate. It was like Julie Andrews, like, it was a motherhood day.

It was like 7 p.m. me putting my kids to bed. And she was like singing like, you know, the sound of music. And it was so beautiful. And it was like 8 p.m. And it turned to like some TV judge. And she was like, I'm literally done with all of you. That's not me. Yeah, I can't even argue that.

That's me sometimes. I started out so strong at bedtime. I'm like seeing all the songs. We say the prayers, do the thing. And then an hour and a half in, I'm like, okay, go to. bad. So that's so real. You got to roll with it. But friend, you've been such a delight to talk to. So encouraging. I have been a big fan. I'm an even bigger fan now. I'm cheering on so loudly and just so proud of who you are and the way that you're sharing your story with the world. It's not easy,

but your testimony is going to inspire so many people. And I just want to affirm to that a couple times you said, I feel like I didn't say that right. I'm not kidding. Your words are life. I mean, they just speak so much life. One of my favorite verses. It's why we named a daughter, Honey. Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. And I just feel like your words were like, honey, to people who are listening today. And so thank you for sharing.

Oh, glory to God, honestly. Thank you for saying that you're a fan of me because I'm a fan of you. I've literally watched you forever. And it's just a privilege to be on here. And you're an example to so many people, including myself, and just an inspiration. And you're wonderful. That's so sweet. Thank you.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.