WHOA That's Good Podcast - God Can't Bless Who You're *Trying* To Be | Sadie Robertson Huff & Taya Gaukrodger

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

Songwriter and worship leader Taya Gaukrodger joins Sadie to talk about why it makes no sense to be someone else in this world, fake humility, and why we all need to stop doubting God's ability. Plus, Taya and Sadie reminisce about their favorite LO Sister Conference moments. Taya encourages us to always remember this: If you can't be fully who you are in front of the Lord, then where CAN you be yourself in this world? Taya challenges us to live not just for the mountaintop moments but to honor God even in the mundane, everyday moments of our lives. And Sadie and Taya both reveal why "honey" is such an important word to them. Taya's debut album, "TAYA," is available now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Council of Franks on behalf of delicious Oscar-Mire 100% beef Franks has declared its official position. Oscar-Mire 100% beef Franks are 100% beef Frank delicious. This summer, choose delicious, choose 100% beef. Keep it Oscar. What's up friends welcome back to the WoW That's Go podcast. Happy Wednesday everybody y'all your week is about to get a whole lot better because I have one of the greatest. I don't really need a huge introduction she's already been on the podcast before and most of you know her.

Taya welcome back to the WoW That's Go Padcast. You're the best. Thank you for having me. It is so nice to be back with family. Oh, it is, Filly. It's so nice for you to be back. I was just reminiscing on the last podcast and thinking about so many of the things that you said and hearing your story and I was like, oh, I'm so excited because I know there's so much more to talk about and a new album. So congratulations on your solo album.

Thank you. Crazy. It's been out about four months, which is kind of wild. And you think, you know, like all the build up to it and all the effort and everything and then you get there and you're like, wow, like let's just take a moment. But then like that's when the rework starts. It's like a baby of sorts, which I mean, tell me all

the wisdom. I need it. Hey, call me whenever. Well, this is so funny because last time you're on the podcast, I remember telling you that my dad and Christian were big fans of just your music. Well, it's gone to the next level now after a little conference and my dad walks in the other day wearing the TAYA shirt and I was like, Dad, this, like, I love TAYA and I love you, but this is hilarious. It was so funny.

It was so good. He was rocking it. He was rocking. This is your face. It's full beauty. Oh, my dad. It was hilarious. It was so good.

It's so awesome. It's so funny. I know. It was so funny. Oh, beauty. Oh my god, it was hilarious. It was so good. It's so awesome. It's so funny. I know, it was so funny. Oh my gosh, well, I mean, truly that we had the best time with you in Louisiana right before take, and we were just reminiscing on the LO conference. And it was just a special time. It's hard.

People ask me about it. And it's hard to put words to it. But I think to sum it up, God was just so evident. It was like the fruit of who God was was so evident in a room where there was truly like tangible joy and freedom and love. And there was such a purity. There was no, you could tell it wasn't because they were light and there wasn't because they were in moment

It was because the presence of God was in the room and yeah, man You led in that moment so beautifully. It was I wrote down a stop during worship when you were leading and just wrote down what I was feeling because I said I don't want to forget this moment and I wrote down that I felt like it was a bunch of Sisters in a room with their dad. And everyone just felt like themselves and free to just talk to their dad. Some people were on their knees, some people were swaying, some people were just crying. It was just like this freedom to be who they were in the room with their dad. And you led that with such a purity. And it was just beautiful.

Yes, so kind. I mean, I'm so glad we're talking about low conference because my husband got to be there, Ben and also part of my team Abby, who's like my day-to-day manager. And we were so marked by getting to be at low conference, it felt, I mean, you said it, the word that we just keep coming back to was it was just so pure. And I love that Matthew 5 verse 8, it's like, I think it's my favorite verse in the whole entire Bible that says, blessed of the pure and heart. So that'll see God. But to be able to see God, you have to be pure and heart. And I think as well, when it comes

like a conference in that way, when it feels so pure, it's because there's no guile, there's no ego, there's no, which I mean, I'm like going to turn it back on you, I'm like, girl, how old are you, are you 26, 25? 25, yeah. So like young and you're newly married and you have a baby girl and it's again so young and you feel this like just innate passion for Jesus and for people to discover what you have discovered through Jesus. So we have such a unique identity that is found in Jesus Christ and it's individual because God is sovereign but is also a personal God. And you have had this amazing revelation at a young age and then you just have this purity and this passion for young Women to discover truly who they are in Jesus Christ. I mean, it's written behind you live original and I mean, I will literally cry because I'm like

you Don't even know like it's so special and so beautiful what you are actually Creating for for for young women to have that space with Jesus and to have moments in his presence to discover that for themselves. And it changes lives and it marks people. And you aren't taking any of the glory for yourself. You aren't trying to say, like, look at me, like it was all point to Jesus. And it felt like just the early days

and I hope that we never lose that, like that purity and that, just like exactly what you said, we just, you know, go standing in front of our Heavenly Father and just looking to Him and allowing Him space to minister and move. And just like, you know, soften out the sharp edges and do with the things of perhaps just because we live in a fallen world and we're just trying to learn how to do

this. And sometimes we nail it and sometimes we don't and just allowing him to speak and you were so preffful and intentional and you could tell that when you walked in the building, like you guys had been there weeks before just praying and over every seat, but I'm like it just to the fact like again like we keep talking about how it was so special there was like I reckon the number was most of the conference, but like over 300 girls getting baptized and your mums in in the baptismal like tank, you know, two or two times, like these are like the stuff that you pray for and revival and for God to have his way like and then your grandma's in the choir. She's the youngest like 70 year old lady that I've ever seen in

my entire life. And she's in the choir serving. And then you've got your auntie in the tank, you know baptizing women. And then you've got your cousin on the platform who just, again, Layla, I can't even deal with, let's just talk about low-worship everyone. Well, well. Let's get on to that song, because that's a special song. And just the place that it came out of, like, truly, we've talked about it like every week with our team since, because it's so special and so pure and you don't even know know which is also something so

lovely about that and so yeah it's it's hard to put into words exactly all the things that God did that's like it's so overwhelming and it's so amazing to hear you say because it really was like so many prayers for years that our family has prayed that our church has prayed, that our church has prayed, that our friends, and we all got to see it happen together. Like we've been praying for, even before I moved to Nashville and at Lichyan High School, I would just pray for revival to happen here.

And I mean, when we pray those things, what does that mean? And I just be like, I want hearts to be revived for Jesus here. That anything, that any box we put Jesus in from denominational things to whatever, that it would just be broken and that people would just be absolutely revived for Jesus and being in love with him. And that's what it felt like.

That's what it looked like, like a community revived by Jesus, wanting other people to experience that for the first time. I remember the first time I had never been to the Bahamas or anything and I went with Christians family and it was the kept saying it's so cool to see it from your eyes for the first time. Because I was like, the water is so pretty, it's so stunning. I can't believe it. Like I was just like so excited, like a kid, like an all-munder.

And I feel like I am so grateful. I get to experience that in rooms or people experience that all in wonder of God for the first time. It's like, yeah, feels so good. I feel so, it's so beautiful. I'm being washed so clean, like all these things. And like the freedom and the joy and the jumping, like the baptism pictures when they're coming out of the water.

And it's just like, it's like the feeling so like it's like their original self for the first time. And it's just like so stunning and it really felt though when you read acts and pages of the Bible it looked like that like it felt like that it looked like that and I think that's what's cool and encouraging about it is we didn't do anything um special or different like we just prayed and we just allowed God to move and we just sought after The God of the Bible the same God that's alive today and we saw that same God and and just seeing God be God is enough to make Your whole entire life change and so it was just it was just incredible and Ella worship

It was so beautiful. I mean There is a moment where you know you led open and it was crazy. I was standing backstage and I just started crying. I was like, well first I was so shocked. And I was just like, because I think for the first time it hit me like, whoa, we've been praying over these things. We've been believing for these things

and all of a sudden we're here in this moment. We had this conference in our hometown. That's really a small town. Not a lot of conferences have been there. Do you have a little wonder small town. Not a lot of conferences have been there. Beautiful little wonder. There's not a lot of things happening there. So, you know, and Ella worships finally coming to life. These songs have been written.

There's people here experiencing the lore and then you're up there who I've been a friend of, but also with depth you for a long time and you're leading. And I just am sitting there like in such shock and I start crying and I just say, I'm so overwhelmed. Emily Volkotan standing beside me, she is, are you just filling overwhelmed and I said,

yeah, and she said, why? Because Tay is leading an L.O. worship song and an L.O. worship conference in your hometown. And I said, yeah, that, that's why. That is exactly why. And it's just what this moment of your ways are higher than I've always got. You know your ways are higher than our ways God You know your thoughts are high whatever we thought when we prayed it you had a lot more in mind and and sometimes that looks like

Tomorrow's answer prayer, but most of those at years and and this was a years thing and so it was just cool to step in I want to ask you about just you leading because truly watching you leave I've obviously seen you lead a couple of times and I've seen you lead with Hillsong a lot but seeing you lead as Teya and the freedom that you lead with and then seeing you lead open when you weren't planning on singing that song and I don't even know if you knew the song but you somehow did. Like how do you as a worship leader step into the amount of freedom that you worship with now and the purity. Like have you always been that authentic in your worship or do you feel like it's something

that over the past few years you've really stepped into? Well, I mean firstly, very kind. And I will say that is a just back on open on that song. It's a very anointed song. It's a very special song. I also feel like Layla who leads it is very anointed and very special and Similar to yourself like doesn't know How special and how anointed which there's again something pure about that and beautiful and

But it's I mean my husband is a man of very few words, but when he says something, I really take notice. And he's very sensitive to the Holy Spirit because he just lives, he just has his own personal relationship with Jesus and he cultivates that and he puts the time aside and truly trying to understand what the Bible is saying and reads about the context and commentaries like all the things. And I learned so much from him about how I should be

reading about, like, yes, love that. And he just leaned over. It was the first night that we got to be in there and just like the low worship team was like leading and introducing some of these songs. And he just leaned over, particularly in that song. It was just like, who is that person? And also this is a very special, anointed song. And yeah, and again, there's something about the simplicity and the sweetness of it.

Anyway, so I'm just encouraging everyone to go this tour because it's definitely, it's very loud, loudly playing in a house, quite awesome. It's amazing. A lot of so much. And it's just precious and pure. And again, just a good challenge as well. Like in every season, I leave my heart open,

you know, open to you. Yeah. You know, like I'm holding back nothing, which is like great things to sing, hearted, to truly mean as well. So sometimes you need to listen to these things like 10 times over and then you're like, oh, okay. I still listen to a little bit like every day. Yeah. Cause it is, it's almost a daily, it's like a daily prayer and a daily surrender of like, because to say I'm holding back nothing,

it's like you said, it's easy to say that, but then to think about it in your life, am I actually holding back nothing to you? And I think a lot of times I can be like, God, I'm all in. And then when I really think about it, I'm like, yeah, but I actually haven't, you know, surrendered this or haven't laid this down, or it was contingent on this. And so I agree. We blast it every day and you know what's so cool. Teya is just, and I want to get back to what we were talking about, but the purity of that song and the anointing. So this is crazy. So my daughter, honey, is like, she's very opinionated already about what songs we listen to in the car. And of course, kids are going to want to listen to like, baby shark, okay? Or they're going to listen to the kid songs.

But I'm not kidding you. She will cry until I put on open. Like, it is so, it's like beautiful. Every time I put on open, she's subscribed. And then I will try to change it to another worship song and she cries. And I got to go back to open. And it's like, I was like, what is that? Cause it's not, does it have any kind of kid tune to it?

It's definitely not baby shark. And it's like, but I think it's a Holy Spirit on that song and it just, it suits her. It makes her feel peace. And I just thought that was super cool. So to draw it even more what we're saying, even my one-year-old daughter, it makes her stop crying. I'm not kidding every single time I play that song. It's

become my go-to for if honey's crying, put on open, like Christian, get open on. It's actually really cool. I love that because I also, I mean, I don't, babies we're just with our Heavenly Father. You know, he, he knit them together in the mother's womb. And I'd have this little theory that I'm like, babies actually are more sensitive, I think, to the presence of God and to the Holy Spirit and anointing because they've just been with our Heavenly Father. Like in an intimate way, perhaps more than we have. And so I'm like, there is something about a baby just being sensitive to someone who carries the presence of God or is that person that's innately just doing a lovely example of God's character.

So that's what I reckon. But I need to obviously make sure it's back to me. Hey well I mean Jesus says so much about kids and child like faith and maybe maybe you have child like faith because your faith is not tainted yet because you were just with the father and your faith okay well we can get back to it you were saying because I was asking like, in your worship, do you feel like over the years you've gotten more? Because for Leila, for instance, for Leila and Kaylee, Kaylee actually wrote open. And I thought it was really awesome that she wrote the song, but really felt like Leila was the one singing it.

And I just thought that was a really cool thing. And then Reeves is doing it and my brother will and they've never led worship like this before. And so we've been talking a lot of like, how do you lead and not perform? Obviously, how do you step into this like very pure way of leadership? And when you were up there, I was like, it was so good because I was trying to tell them

like watch what she's doing, like watch, dress the, the way that you're going after the Lord's heart and it was like you did not care You I didn't hear you miss a note because I think you're amazing, but but you didn't care if you did you just went for it You know like it you were just some songs you just screamed the whole time because it was but it needed to be It was like that's what made people get on their feet some songs you just Set and it was so slow, but it was like that's what made people get on their feet. Some songs you just set and it was so slow, but it was like it's what brought the room and you were just so in tune with the Holy Spirit. Like how do you get to the place if you want to be a leader,

a worship leader, or anything on a stage, how do you get to the place where you're leading and not like performing? Yeah, I'm, you're very kind. I definitely missed all the notes 100%. But there's something like, you know, I think you have to come to a point as a worship leader. And I'm sure you would say the same like where you have to let, it is the performance side go where it's like, it's okay if I stuff up, it's okay if I sing a wrong note or because we're human we're not perfect. And also a flawless, it says in the

Psalms, a flawless performance means nothing to you. Like I learned God worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shadowed lives don't for a moment escape God's notice. And there's something sweet about that because it's, I could sing all the perfect notes, but if it's not anointed, then it's just the sound of like a clinging gong. And it's, it doesn't have the power to transform someone's life because it's void of God. And so I do think like, you know, I'm a washer pleater and I'm a singer because that's my weapon. That's my instrument and so there is that Stewardship side, you know, I warm up every single time. I'm trying to get better at warming down If something's going a little bit funny with my voice like book in a lesson with my singing coach like I do think

There's that area and I it's a little personal annoyance when I have yeah, I hear worship leaders go, oh, I'm a worship leader, but I'm not a singer, because I'm like, well, actually, what are you using? Yeah. The vocal cord, this is a gift from God, and you need to stew it at. That's cool.

Every voice is different. The other thing is, is if I try to lead worship like anybody else, it is going to be the second best version. That's good. And it's, yeah, like it's not going to be, you know, I grew up with my dad. He never said that with my mom and my dad, but my dad would always say like, did you do you best?

I'm not expecting you to be first, but did you do your utmost like your best? That's good. And I would always say, you know, yes or no. And usually it would be like, yes, I tried my hardest and I did my best. He said, well, that's all I can ask of you. And so I kind of put it in the context of this, of, am I doing my best, Tay is best. And obviously, it's going to look different

because we all have different voices, no vocal chords are the same. We have different fingerprints like where originals, I think my advice, like the best advice I've ever received from the last podcast was you're an unrepeated, miracle. That was a little placard that my mom had stuck to the back of my sister and because we shared a room together on the back of the door.

It was written in purple, so I was like, this is mine, you know, because that was my favorite call. I had that revelation from a young age of like, I can't be anybody else. And if I try, it's just going to be the second best version. So I may as well be tear and be tear to the best of my ability in all the ways honoring God like, you know, like it says in the Bible, whatever you find, you know, if you're hand to do, like do it as if it's unto the Lord, no matter what it is. And also because God's worthy of that as well. Like, all we can bring is our lives. And in essence, like, it's not enough

because he's done everything and he would never have to do anything else except for saying his son and it was all enough. Yeah. And just like, you know, Romans 12 says, like, in view of God's mercy, like, my response in view of everything that you've done is my life.

Like, holy pleasing to you, my walking around eating life. Everything like as a sacrifice to you, this is my holy and you know worship to who you are God. And so to permeate, hopefully that permeates into like every area, including worship, leading in there's something really freeing as well. Like I hope people are like, oh, but I like you like God wants your voice. He wants to hear your expression of who he is. And I can't reach everybody. Like you have an innate story and a revelation about who Jesus is. And hopefully it's all growing

because that's, you know, our personal ownership is Christians. Like we all have to be growing in this every single day and we need Jesus every single day. and hopefully we're not making those moments when we get on a platform, the mountain, like it is the mountain top but we're not as humans, we're not built for the mountain top, we've actually built for the valley, we're built for the everyday, like it's in the mundane, everyday stuff that we are actually to on a garden and And sometimes it's in the mind that it's harder.

Like, I'm gonna glorify you God here when I'm sorting the laundry or when I'm, you know, here again, really struggling to like focus on my Bible when I know that I should be having my devotional time, but I'm still here Lord. And I wanna hear from you and maybe I've been peppering you with like requests, but I have forgot the Thanksgiving that I was meant to come with into your presence before I ask

things of you. And yeah, so I think it's been a journey. I think I've just been comfortable with just being myself because it's like this revelation of, you know, I was a tall girl during all of like primary school and high school. I was the 97th percentile like when I was a child. So yeah, just like being the tall kind of gorky looking girl. What an coming into her own. But it's like I can't be anything else and there's something so nice when we get to that revelation because it's so freeing and

it also I feel like takes the pressure off. Right. Because like again, God's not after perfection. He just wants our heart and he wants all of it. Yeah. And if I can do that when leading, it also just makes other people realize, oh, I can be myself. Yeah. And and I don't have to pretend because the other thing is like, I mean, it sounds like a cliche, but like God can't bless who we're trying to be. Yeah. Because it's all facade and it's a filter and it's not real. But when we bring out honest selves, like when we're like in the message, I think it talks about when learning how to pray, it's like you go into a quiet space

and you shut the door like no one else is there and then you try to be there as honestly and as honestly yourself as you can, like with no like pretending that we're something that we're not all like coming in with all these things like just be and the crazy thing is is God sees everything. He really knows who we truly are. Like, you know, everything, even the thoughts of our minds and yet sometimes we act like we can't actually come to him because, if you really knew, I'm like, he was there the whole time.

Yeah, yeah, like, and he's driving me out. Yeah, you run because you're thinking you're hiding it, but he was literally there the entire time. Any loves you and he has a better way. Yeah, that's so good, Taya. That's so good. I think it's really one of the greatest gifts you can receive for yourself is the gift of knowing this is how God made me and He made it for a reason, and I'm going to accept that and I'm going to embrace that.

Because you're right, if you can stop the comparison game of I'm trying to be her, I need to be good enough for them and you can just be the ultimate version of you, it's such a gift because you don't have to strive, you don't have to compete, you don't have to measure up to anything other than who, the standard of who God made you to be. And I remember it was kind of hard for me to feel that complete honest version of myself

for a little while because I felt like I always had a camera on me. You know, I always had people watching and I was like, God, I feel like because I'm so trained to be on camera and so trained to be on stage, like I feel like sometimes in my prayer life, I'm coming to you already, formulating what I'm saying in such a way that is saying it prettier than it really is. And so I actually started journaling a couple of maybe a year or two ago. And I always had so many people say, you should journal, you should journal. And I'm always like, yeah, but I'm just not that person.

And I was like, I'd start a journal and then like, it'd be six months later. And I'd be like, hey, again, I'm back. Here's another exciting thing or bad thing that happened in my life. And so I was just like, this is not for me. But after I kind of had this realization that I just, I wanted to just be so honest with the Lord,

I started a journal and reading back my first journal makes me laugh, but now I've gotten in the routine and I love it so much. And the first page of my journal, I'll just share it with you all because I think it's funny now. But I was like, God, this journal is gonna be a prayer. I was like, but it's not gonna sound like a prayer.

I'm not gonna say dear God every time, but I'm talking to you. And I was like, and I'm gonna be very honest, and this is gonna be like the most strip back version of me ever, and just tell you exactly how I feel. And it's so cool though, because as I read back, I was super honest, and I was, and some journals didn't end with like the good story,

you know, because I think that's like for me, if I'm telling somebody something that's hard, of course I'm always gonna end it with like, but it's really not that bad, and God's doing this, and God's doing this and God's doing this and like make it sound better than it is. But sometimes like just the raw honesty and like letting yourself sit with where you're really at and the reality of where you really are makes when you see Jesus coming to picture

that much better. I think about like with Peter, whenever Jesus said to Peter, you know, cast your nut on the other side and Jesus like, we're not catching, on the other side and Jesus like we're not catching I mean Peter's like we're not catching anything Jesus And there's something about just like that honestly and that frustration of like we're just not you know But then he says but at your word I will try again and he throws it over and what happens all the fish come And it was just this amazing moment of like here's my reality But now when I see you do the supernatural in my reality,

everything changes and now I'm in all my, and now I can honestly worship. And I feel like I'm learning that in my life. Like, it's okay to be super honest with the Lord and say, hey, I'm not catching anything. This night was not good. This was bad. But I'm going to continue to take your word and then like just be amazed, you know, about what only you can do. And still, on the middle of it, sit with you on the boat while waiting for the fish to come.

So I don't know, I think it's cool. So many things I want to talk to you about your album, obviously. And one thing about your album, I'm like, we could talk forever. I'm like, oh no, I'm like so excited about this because honestly, like there's so many songs I wrote down two of my favorites, not ashamed, three of my favorites, get away, canicle, I love them all, but like those

three have just been like so good for me. And they're probably, you could ask, you know, 100 people and they'd all say different ones because they're all so good. But one of the things that that was cool about this album is you said that the Lord kind of told you that this album need to be like honey, which I was like, I love that because I was the one who named our daughter honey. And so tell me about just this album coming to be. And what are some of the songs of the album that feel super personal to you? Yeah. Well, it's so funny. You're so right when you say if you surveyed a hundred people like

so many people will resonate with different songs and that's a sweet joy that I get to know with now writing my own songs and just hearing people's like oh I love this song for this reason and this really ministers me which is such like I don't think that will ever get old, and I'm so humbled that people would be able to meet with Jesus in it. Like that's my prayer for the whole thing, and so I'm so humbled that that happens. I'm like, thank you Jesus. I had no idea what I was doing. Still don't, if I make sure that I'm honest, but it yeah, it was a God thing. I hadn't written for like seven years Which is so funny like you know the number of seven the year of like The number of completion full circle which again God's in all the details and I love just seeing him in all the details as well And he relates to us again

He's a personal God how he created us and I'm into the little details and looking for all the little things and I feel like he just like drops little fun things. I'm like, oh, thanks so good. I think that I love that. But yeah, so I hadn't written for seven years, but I love that you said that you started journaling because I journal and it's something that I, it was back when I was in Sydney, I would have been closer to, I don't think I was on staff at church yet, but I had started journaling because my friend had handed me this book called Ordering Your Private World.

And I think it's by Gordon McDonald and basically he talked about journaling so honestly that you almost need to lock it up into a safe. And it's not like a journal of like, this is what I did this day, but it's like a prayer journal. And I loved that because I used to always get distracted sometimes when I was praying because I would just have all these thoughts in my head and with a journal on the right side, like have like a little note pad there and you can just jot down whatever drops

into your head. So you don't forget it, but you're not giving it attention in that moment, like you're just writing down like groceries, like whatever comes your head. So then you can then continue to focus. But I loved it because it's like, if we can't be honest before God, then where can we truly be honest?

Like he's the person that made us, he's the person that loves us, he's the person that loves us, he's the person that says that we are the apple of his eye, we are the... Like he wants communion with us so much and he will love us no matter what. Like he is so gracious and so kind and he's the Redeemer and he's the one that sees it all and again still loves us and it's just that revelation of being able to be I'm safe with you and

And so during those seven years of not writing like even though I was stagnant in the songwriting I had seven years worth of you know, I call it JC time devot time with the Lord. And I love my, like I have my journal here, no way will I show the other side of it. But every single time I'm like, like I'll just flip to something, I probably won't really, because it's so like, oh gosh. I'm like, okay, good afternoon, Lord. It is me, your gal who is sick recovery. Thank you for kidding. Better, Edward Cod has been supporting me and I'm making me feel bad. Oh my God, that's so scary. That's so scary.

But it's like, I love that. I started the like that every single time with the date, just so that I'm like, Yeah. Because again, it's that thing of like we're to come into the presence of God, like it says in Psalm 100 with the password. Thank you. When we present our request before God, it's firstly with Thanksgiving, which we often again just come in with like, you know, God, can I, but it's like, no, it's with Thanksgiving. Like, Lord, you are everything that I need. Thank you so much for a day. I have breath in my lungs today. I'm alive.

I get another day. I get another shot at this. Thank you so much for a day. I have breath in my lungs today. I'm alive. I get another day. I get another shot at this. Thank you so much. And there's something that shifts on the inside when we start with that as well because there's a reason we do a praise song at the top of a service because it shifts the atmosphere. It's cool. And it says in the Bible that God inhabits the praises of his people. Anyway, there's like a million different things. I love it. I love it. I love it. Scrooge is like flows out of you. Every time I. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it is awesome. Oh, I love that. You're very kind. You're very kind. I need more of it, my gosh. More of it. Let's be honest. Don't we are. Don't we are. Yeah, so it was like seven years of not, but still having those honest you know, conversations with God. And I think it gave me time to marinate in the word of God. And so when it came time to write, and it was like this, I knew that there was something coming, but I had some sweet friends who like prophesied over me, said, Hey, and they had no idea that there was talk of an album and tear album. And

they're just like, just so you know, it's going to have to, like, you're not going to have to force this. God's going to bring the right people around you. And it will happen in his timing. And you're not going to have to, like, you're not going to have to force this. God's going to bring the right people around you. And it will happen in his timing. And you're not going to have to, like, it's not going to be like, you have to pull this thing out like it, like, because I had no desire or idea that this is what was going to happen. I have like this child like thing where I'm like, God, you can tell me to do anything and I'll do it. I'm not gonna feel qualified, which that is my own struggle that I need to wrestle out

before God to be honest, which is actually pride. Wow. You think, oh, what a humble person. Actually, that's called fake humility because you don't think God can do it. So that's my own thing that I've had to go through. Taylor, that's good. That's like a, oh, that's a, oh, that's my own thing that I've had to like go through. Taylor is, that's good. That's like a, ooh, that's a, ooh, that's good.

That's just like a, I mean, everybody needs to hear that moment. I mean, it's, it's painful and it's challenging, you know, and even after like the albums come out, like there's conversation of starting the process of writing for a second one. And I'm like, it has been four months. Like we have just furthered this thing. I'm like, are we kidding? And I realize it's just this, it has to be you God.

You have to give me a word for this. And you have to direct and guide me. Which again, he has never failed me once. He has always been there. He has always been sufficient. But it is that constant, just personal, personally, like that wrestle of, do I actually get on my sufficiency from you, God, are you truly the one who will make a way for me? And if I am holding back, it's because I actually don't believe

that you are and that you will do what you've said that you will do. And it's so challenging because then it means I'm doubting God's ability. When we read all the time in the Bible that he's the all-powerful one and he's the sovereign one and he never leaves us or forsakes us. And yet, Tay and a little humanness is like, I'm so overwhelmed, I can't do this. And I'm so challenged by saying this season as well, like when you're learning to bring something into the world and to stew it something,

your confession is really important. This is gonna sound so silly because this whole process of bringing an album was actually me learning how to find my voice, the thing that I'm known for, that people were like, no, no, the ocean school, great. But I'm like, no, I didn't know how to find just my voice. And it's looked like so many more different things than I thought. Like I thought it was just this album and this record and my songwriting voice but it's like raising my voice in community in a good way of like loving people well and speaking the truth in love and also staying and continuing to cultivate friendship and true friendship where we tell each other the truth and we love each other even though it's hard and there's a million different things. Yeah, when it comes to that, but all I can say is that God is gracious

and again, his timing is perfect and all the things that I was writing about, you know, a year and a half, two years ago, I started this project on Zoom because we had this great plan of like, we're gonna like do an album or write a natural, go to London, like, just crazy plans, and then the world shutdown. Wow. So it was like, great. Um, I'm gonna scratch that. Let me just start over. Yeah, very, very bad.

Have you thought about Zoom? Yeah. Like, that's the plan, and we're not doing it. Yeah. Um, but the crazy thing is, is the last gathering that we had, as a church before the world shut down, was our women's conference. And I needed a word from God,

because I was like, you know, I'm a worker bee, I'm not a CEO type, like I will come alongside work so hard, but I just don't know God, how to set the vision in the direction, like this is something that feels like it goes against my nature, but I also need to, again, humble myself and not be prideful and go, no, well, if you've called me to this, you'll are not me for this and you will give me the tools and the right people. Yeah. And I can say on the other side, he's so faithful and he's so kind and he has the better way.

And what ended up being like, what could have been like, oh gosh, what are we doing? Like we're riding on Zoom. The crazy thing is I hadn't successfully co-written properly. I don't think where I felt comfortable enough to bring my voice in a session until we started riding on Zoom. Wow. Because I was in my own home. It was like a one bedroom rental apartment.

Thank goodness my husband was still like part of essential services like in the building industry. So he could go to work because that would have been hilarious him in the bedroom trying to like, you know, do it as a whole and work. And I'm just like, just for like, like, just singing it out. That's hilarious. But like on my piano that he gave me, you know, in that first year of marriage for my 30th birthday, he just said, I was about to second you, sorry, I got married when I was 28, yep, great. Secondary.

Really good, bro. I do all the time. I was like, I should have known, how many people were getting on my ready? People were maybe for like 40 years and they were, how do I do this? Yeah.

No, I'm like, and people just know it straight away. I'm like, I need to get better at that. Yeah. But it was a piano that he purchased because I hadn't had a piano since I moved to Sydney and that was like 2010. So it was like a long time and similar like seven eight years ish and he just said this comes with no strings attached. I know that this is going to deepen your relationship with God and there's going to be sweet like, you know, places that you're going to meet with Him through this piano. And he says, I know there are songs, but this, there's no strings attached. You

don't have to write songs, you don't, you know, because he knew what I had kind of felt that I had written, but I didn't really write again. And so it was just so sweet that of course God would orchestrate it like a silver lining of what was a really difficult season for most people was a gift in the sense that I got to find my voice in my own home or my own piano. And had I been in person, it would have been a beautiful album written for me. And I probably wouldn't have found my voice in the way that I did. And then even the way God knit together, just a few key songwriters, like I got to write with this guy, I could John Garra, who I

encourage you to get his album, Keeper of Days. He is a gift. He's like John the Baptist. He's the kindest human. And not only did I get to become friends with John, and he's an artist in his own route. I didn't know that he was a producer, but I got to meet his wife, Val,

and their little daughter, Wenzel, and they just became instant friends and family and you know that they got to, so we eventually, when we got to leave the country, which is another God story of getting out of the country to go sing with very famous opera singer in Italy. Wow. And then it's like, well, now that of getting out of the country, to go sing with very famous opera singer in Italy. Wow. And then it's like, well, now that we're out of the country,

because they got permission from the government for us to leave, let's go to Nashville. Imagine if we could ride in person. And I'm like, oh, I've never done that. Like, let's see how that goes. And we finished six-eighths of the album within three weeks of riding. Wow.

John and his wife and his daughter came to the Nashville Airbnb and we all like stayed together like a family. We rode around the kitchen table. So we get away. You can hear the hum of the refrigerator because we just see the demo vocal. Like it just felt wholesome and sweet, which is funny because it was everything that that word that I felt God give me, you know, at that women's conference. I just felt like God said it was to be like honey and that it was to be sweet, palatable, easy to digest. And as it goes down by the grace of God,

it would heal things on the inside. So maybe even like wounds that were still a bit sore and perhaps people didn't realize needed tending to. Wow. Because honey does have that healing quality. Absolutely. The crazy thing was is that there's still a little bit of like Thomas on the inside and so after God spoke that word and

it wasn't audible it's just an impression I wrote it down I was in bed that night and my husband wasn't at the women's conference and he went out and was helping friends move and I hadn't told him about the word and I was just looking at it going was I hungry? Is this really the word? Because I love sugar. I'm like, I love honey. And I'm just like, this is so weird. Maybe to be like, redeemer, like, comforter, like, faith. And I'm just looking at this word.

And then again, this kind of just says the person that I married to that he just lives in this space where he, you know, I mean, he doesn't have social media, he doesn't have, there's never had a, it doesn't have Facebook like nothing. And so I just feel like he is steadfast in a way because he just doesn't have all these like social pressures that we seem to put on ourselves. And so his communion with the Lord deceives to be so streamlined in a really lovely way, because he also chooses to, yeah, fully place Jesus as number one in all the areas first and the place where he goes to first. And because of that, he just lives in this like,

he's not thinking, oh, like for example, he walked, he said, I have a present for you, I walked past it and just thought of you, so I got it. And I thought it was like, it was in wine country. I thought he was gonna, like a beautiful, I don't know, bottle of wine because we're trying to be mature, you know, you get married.

And you're like, let's have cheese and crackers and wine, like, because we're old, you know, so we do. So I was just like thinking, oh, that's what it's gonna be. And he handed me this brown paper bag. And out of the bag, I pulled the jar of honey. So cool. Like on the same day. Oh my god.

Okay, good. Comfortably. We did. Wow. Yeah. Wow. That is so cool. I love that.

Gosh, we kind of had even a similar thing with honey when we were deciding on honey's name and we were like, I loved it so much and it was crazy because I had kind of forgotten about this but when Christian and I went on our first date we did pottery and I you know I did a little mug and I painted it blue and all I wrote on it was honey I just wrote the word honey and it had to do with the conversation we had had previously this our first date and I wrote honey on this mug. So anyways, never, like couldn't find the mug. When we were talking about, you know, we've,

knew we were pregnant, we're talking about maybe naming a girl. We have a girl honey. So anyways, it was like three days before the gender reveal party and we're at my parent's house and we're just kind of talking about it and my dad walks in just so casually, he's just drinking coffee and I look over and he's holding the honey mug that I did on our first day and I was like, oh my gosh, I was like,

I think we're gonna have a girl working in a neighborhood, like it was just so cool. And so three days later, of course, the pink paint goes everywhere. And I'm like, it's our honey, so that's just so cool. I love how God does that, just brings confirmation. And actually how God does that. Just brings confirmation and Actually earlier today, of course when the podcast go out, it'll be different timings

But I got to interview Cody Karnes today as well and it was so good And he was just talking about how there's something so amazing and marriage when the Holy Spirit uses your spell stick and firm What you're hearing and I think you know for people out there, just being in tune with the Spirit, like asking God to speak and asking God to lead you. Maybe it's with your spouse, maybe it's with your family or your friends, but it's just amazing. You can pass by a honey jar and you think, well, for some reason, I feel led to buy this, but like, that's the very thing they needed that day to confirm what God's doing in their

life. And I just love how God uses his people to, you know, do the, be a part of the moves he's making, you know. And so I just think that that is so beautiful. Say, honestly, I mean, we could talk all day. This is so good. Your album is so good. It's so rich. It's so full of honey.

It is sweet and healing to the bones and to the soul and my gosh. Like I said, there are so many of these songs that I've been listening to. We have worship on Wednesdays, our office, and the other day, Kaylee was leading and she was singing Canacol and it was just so good. And all of our team was just declaring that over our office and it was so awesome. And so many lines that I keep, the more you listen to your album because it is such a story that I feel like you tell in so many different ones and so many different songs, I'll pick up on just a different line or a different word and I'm like man I'm gonna hold onto that and so it's just so rich and so I just encourage everyone who's listening if you

have not heard Tay's album, go blast it. Go listen, go blast it. Tay, you're such a good friend. You're such a good leader. And thank you for just oozing the goodness of God. We're so thankful to know you and to be in your corner. Hey, and you're very kind and vice versa. Like, it's so lovely to get to be here and chat and just have genuine communion and I just love that whenever we talk about Jesus I'd like I know he comes close. We mentioned his name. Yeah, and it's the name that's above every other name

But I reckon he just comes in close and he's like We're two or three gathered. He's there and yeah, it's just such a joy. So thank you for having me. That's awesome. you