WHOA That's Good Podcast - How Jesus Changed Everything During an INTENSE Childbirth

Episode Date: May 12, 2021

Sadie and her best friend, Laney Rene, chat about motherhood, marriage, diapers, pregnancy brain, fear, and embracing their weirdness. Laney kicks it off with brilliant biblical advice that will become an anthem for your life. She spills the details on why Sadie and Christian had a double wardrobe change when she visited with her baby, and she describes the harrowing 55-hour labor that ended up building her faith and teaching her more about God's love. Laney's book, "Speak Your Name: Devotions and Declarations on the Reality of Jesus," is available now. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, let him know we got a special guest on the podcast. You were at two time. Whoa, that's good. Legend because you just gave such good advice in the first one I had to have you back. Welcome back. Laney Renee to the Whoa, that's good podcast. I'm excited to be here. I feel like you're a podcast in order to talk these days.

I know literally it's probably gonna be our longest conversation because now you have a baby which is what I'm so excited to talk to you about. So currently when this podcast goes live I will have hopefully have had our baby and this will be speaking to all the moms out there, but before I get into motherhood, I need some advice. So, Lane, give me the best piece of mother advice that you have for me. Okay, so, since this is the one question, actually I need you're gonna ask two questions. I was like, God, what is the best advice I have to give?

And early on in my pregnancy with Ronnie Grace, you're gonna ask two questions. I was like, God, what is the best advice I have to give? And early on in my pregnancy with a Ronnie Grace, I was having a extreme moment of fear and it came in like my biggest moment of excitement. It was right when I was going to like tell my parents that we were pregnant. And I walked back into my mom's closet and I just felt this extreme presence of fear and I don't know. I was like, what in the world? I'm so excited what I feel this fear. My mom came back in the closet and of course my motherly advice comes from my mom and she

said, Lani, do not yield to fear. And she just kept saying it. She said, Lani, do not yield to fear. And she just kept saying it. She said, Laney, do not yield to fear. Do not yield to fear. And she kept saying it over and over me and like over and over. And while she was saying it, I felt like it was literally washing over me and the fear started to leave. And when I felt like I heard that this morning, I was reminded of that.

I was reminded also that that is scriptural. And Isaiah 41 10 says, do not yield to fear for I am always near. Never turn your gaze from me for I am your faithful God. I will infuse you with my strength and help you in every situation. I will hold you firmly with my victorious right hand. Wow, come on. And so yeah, this is like the best, I was like, this is the best thing I can give

because one, it's not truly for me, it's from Jesus. And also, there are so many moments already, like just being pregnant. Before you even, I feel like become a mom. And people who've been moms for many years, I feel like can testify of this. There are so many opportunities to fear. And there are so many people around you

gonna be doing different things. And it's just like, when you turn your gaze from me, I'll never turn your gaze from me for I am your faithful God. And I feel like that's just like, don't turn your eyes from him. Don't look to the left. Don't look to the right. Don't look at what other moms are doing.

Don't look at what other kids are doing or how they're progressing or maybe how smart they are. And don't look at your kid and go, what's wrong with you? Right. Don't turn your gaze from him. Yep. So yeah, I love that. That's the best I got.

That's the best I could receive because honestly, I've already dealt with some of that. That's the best I got. Hey, that's the best I could receive because honestly, I've already dealt with some of that. And I share this with you, but for the listeners, it was the weirdest thing. It was similar to you, as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I was so excited. And I was just jumping up and down, literally physically jumping up and down.

And I was smiling and crying, and all just the best emotions. They're not to a Christian, and I was so excited and crying and like all just like the best emotions. They're not to a Christian. I was so excited and everything was great. And then it was just like, I mean, I had to have been like the next day or something. I just immediately got like afraid like, what if something happens? What if, you know, we go in and there's not a heartbeat or something that they, something's wrong with the baby and, and and you know, those fears are like actually reality

for a lot of people. It's not like that's like a crazy thing to think about, but it is yielding yourself to something that you have no control over. It's like saying, you know, I'm just gonna give into fear and I'm just gonna worry about this when I actually have no control. And I remember opening up

to my Bible study group about this and the reason I was afraid of that is because one of our friends had just walked through that happening where they don't have a heartbeat and other friends just walked through a miscarriage and so I felt like rationalized with my fear but at the same time like I still didn't need to be afraid because it's kind of that moment where you had to say God even if this happens, she's not mine.

She's yours. And I remember a lot of time I didn't know if it was she or he, but they're not mine. They're yours. And I remember opening up to Mary Kate about it. My Bible City group Mary Kate said, say, here's the thing she said, I went through fear in my first pregnancy. And you know what shocked me is that when I had John Shepherd, it didn't go away. She said it just got worse. And she was like, if you

don't surrender it now, it's never gonna go away. And I think that we think that way. We're like, oh well, whenever I see the heartbeat, it'll be better. Whenever I see the baby. But if you don't surrender it, it will just the next space will bring another thing. Literally what you're talking about is the exact fear that I was dealing with. Wow. And I walked into the closet. It was like, what if there's no heartbeat?

And I will say like, when I went in it, I was 16 days late to have her. You know that. But even at my last checkup, when they went to listen to her heartbeat, there was still that opportunity to fear. I still felt the, oh no, and I had to remind myself, do not yield to fear. That is so good. That's going to be an anthem in people's life. I already know it.

Well, on a lighter note, you guys just came and visited us. Recently, it's first time for us to meet Ronnie Grayson. She's just absolutely beautiful and visited us. Recently is first time for us to meet Ronnie Grayson. She's just absolutely beautiful and so fun. But it was so funny because Krish and I both had an outfit change. Ronnie struck twice. So I have to tell the story. First of all, Krish and it hasn't really spent that much time around babies and so he was like, just, you know, this was great for him. He needed this to happen.

And so he's like holding her and it's being all sweet. And then you know, we start to hear something that, you know, a little alarming. And next thing we know, Christian hands her back to Lany and Christian has poop all over his shirt. So welcome to dad and Christian. Then about what two hours later, we're just chilling and you know, she's wet again. And so Laney says, why don't you guys change the diaper because you all need practice and honestly, we hadn't changed the diaper before and that and you know people assume that I've like had all this

experienced babies but you know if you have like nieces and nephews you're not the one that has to change the diaper. No. So I and I didn't babysit whenever I was in high school like that's when dynasty was at its height so like that wasn't a thing so I really actually hadn't changed the diaper so I was like oh gosh so we go in and we're changing the diaper and as I'm changing sweet little Ronnie graces diaper she just peas literally all over me to the point that like my leggings were in drench so Ronnie really gave us a good run for our money so my question to you is practically how many diapers do you actually change a day? Oh, okay, like in the first week or two,

we were changing probably six or seven diapers a day because she just went like crazy. Oh gosh. And, but they say like, you add a diaper a day when they're little. So at day five, she was definitely having five diapers. Oh my gosh. That is great.

But with her, here's the thing. She does what she does with you, did with you. And she'll need several diapers for one change because she keeps going while you're changing her. I never, like, she feels the way. I was not ready for that. I knew that little boys do that, but I never heard little girls do that.

So I was just not even sure that at all. And it's like, what is happening? But the best thing was that night, Krishna and I get in bed, and Krishna's been so optimistic about this whole thing. And what she should be, it's so sweet, but he doesn't think like, you know, if I was to be like, okay,

just know like the first to be, it's gonna be kind of hard. He's like, no, baby, it's gonna be amazing. And I'm like, yeah, so it is gonna be amazing, but it's also gonna be a little hard. He like how to say like, okay, just know like the first two of you is gonna be kind of hard He's like, no, baby it's gonna be amazing And I'm like, yes, it is gonna be amazing, but it's also gonna be a little hard He like refuses to say anything that's like hard or whatever So me and Clayton had those same, yeah Which I mean, how could he, he's never been around a baby So then that night he looks never at me in bed, he goes, say to you

We have to get sleep while we can And he was so serious, he's like, everything is about to change. So Ronnie really, I was so, Chris, you know what, it's gonna be like to me, right? And that's true. It is about the change. But in the best, very best, in the best way. I can't wait. Yes. One of my questions for you was,

what are some of the things that you've seen in Clayton that maybe, maybe Osmaric has been challenged in, but also strengthened by since being parents together? Yesterday he asked me, okay, so it's really hard for him to watch her cry. Yeah, and that sounds like it's not hard for me. It is hard for me, but I think I did have more experience, obviously babysitting.

It's more understanding. And with Nees's and nephewhews, I was expecting her, like she's a baby, she's gonna cry. Whereas for him, he's crying. Why is she crying? And if he can't get her to stop, it makes him feel like he's doing something wrong. And so we've had a lot of conversations of like,

babe, she's gonna cry and that's okay. Sometimes baby's cry and that's okay. Sometimes baby's cry and there's no reason. Sometimes they need to be changed. Sometimes, you know, they're hungry or whatever. But on like just a more like serious note, it has been really cool in that way also to experience like people always say you kind of can experience God's heart even more in His love for us when you're a parent. Yeah. And I've definitely seen that to be true because even like something like that, like he hates for her to cry and

he's like her dad and her father. Sweet. So looking at her and like caring for him that way it breaks his heart that she's crying. Mm-hmm. And so just knowing like and also for me like in the same way, when I look at her like, if I look at her, well really, when I look at her,

I'm like, there's nothing she could ever do that would make me not proud of her. That's so, like, I can't imagine ever not being proud of her. And I love her, like, I can't even put my love for her into words. And I was actually thinking about this earlier too, like love her, I can't even put my love for her into words. And I was actually thinking about this earlier too, with that it can be like, well, she's your daughter.

Like how does that just correlate, I guess with God's love for us, like in a way, sorry, I lost my train of thought. That's another thing with pregnant women. I was training at the last time. There's someone who's already done it all the time. That's what I was saying. I was trying to thought. No, I already do that all the time. That's what I'm saying. It was really good too.

Oh, I know what it is. Okay. Yes. I love her that way. And in the same way, we're made in the image of God. So the love that I have for her is straight from him in the first place. Any good, any love I have for her is already from him. And so what I feel towards her,

I can see that, oh, he fills that way towards me. Like, that is so cool. He would never not be proud of me. Like, there's nothing I could ever do to make him not proud of me. That's beautiful. That's so cool. I was actually something I was gonna ask you

to something that you've learned about God's love for you as a parent. Cause for me, like, I feel like it's so cool. It's not, I feel like in one sense, you could say it's like your co-parenting with God, but really, he's your parent the whole way. It's like just like you learn advice for your mom, you learn about, you know, things about God,

cause he's your father, he's your parent in a sense. And just the other day, it was so cool because I feel like I have one of my first experiences like that where somebody on Instagram actually even told you this, yeah, but and I'm just gonna say it to the public right now which it won't be outside she's born anyways, but somebody created an Instagram page with like her name and I have an announcer name. You know that? Not an announcer name. And somebody happened to find out what her name was and made an account.

And I was like so upset. And I was like so bothered and just confused how they found out. But then also just bothered by they're being like, it just felt like somebody took her a little identity. Like, no, you can't put Yeah, and they said it was just supposed to be a fan page But I was like but they didn't put fan page says like that's her name like don't take her name and all this stuff And I just remember but at first the person wasn't responding and they weren't so I didn't know if it was like a creepy person

Or who this was or whatever. And I just remember like here in the Lord say like, I'm her protector. Like I'm her protector just like I'm yours. And like he has been my protector and you know how I walk through weird things with Instagram and social media that have and that's why I broke my heart because I couldn't stop crying because I was like, I know how much this has hurt me. I don't want this to hurt her. I don't want her to feel the same way. But then I realized in that moment that the same God, who has been there for me and all those times, and comforted me, I've been my protector,

and honestly, been my defender, is her defender, and her protector, and her comforter too. And just as much as that moment, I couldn't control, like he was there. And so it's so nice to know that parenting isn't all up to us. Like God is still the same God and the follower to them as he gets to us. And we've seen that come through so many times. So that's so cool that you said that. Um, it's so crazy. Literally

like the things that I wrote down, talk to you about, like you just like crushed in like five seconds. No, that's cool. But one of the things I was going to talk to you in a funny way is, OK, so everybody knows we're crazy. And we pretty much put all of our weirdness out on the internet for the whole world to see. And so I was wondering, because Christian literally asked me this, are you going to be as crazy as you are in front of your daughter? Like, will you be weird or will you try to control it?

Yeah. No, I think I'll be weird. Me too. When you're actually when you're really weird, you can't really hide it. No, can you tell me today? I don't know if Christian has said this kind of stuff to you, but he told me he was like, you know, early on, you said and did some things, but also like, that's really weird. Yes. And I thought it was hilarious. And there are the things now that he thinks are really funny.

Exactly. I'm definitely gonna be weird. Okay, no, she needs to know. It's okay to be weird. She needs to know. Cause you sent me that DM the other day. And it was like this mom driving through, like dropping her kids off at school,

and she was just like, this seems just like very casual worship music, and she's been like, you know, very, very just a gentle meek, and then she pulls out, and she's like, jam and like, dance it, and Christians, like that is so you, and I was like, but you know what?

I was like, that is me, but I don't know that I'm not gonna be also doing that with her in the sea right this time. And I was like, I was like, I hope you have like, that is me, but I don't know that I'm not going to be also doing that with her in the sea right this time I was like, I hope you have like choreographed dance moves that like we do together So that makes me feel better. I'm not the only one Well, I know people are gonna be wanting to hear your birth story I know it's a heavier topic because you went through a lot in labor But I also know that God is So victorious in your story and I wanted you to share whatever you want to share with the listeners, too because I think it'll help a lot of people and I think I mean it helps me even just preparing for labor

It's a scary thing and it's you know, you know, it's gonna be painful yours was certainly not easy But knowing that God was there is huge. So I would love to share. Yeah. So my birth, her birth, my labor, Albert, you want to word it was definitely like, it was the hardest thing I've ever done my life, but it was also the most amazing thing I've ever done my life, but it was also the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. And her birth was 55 hours, and that is not normal.

So if you're pregnant, like, it just no, or if you have experienced that, you know that it's not a normal thing to have 55 hour labor. But, so I had the first two days where just were at home. I was having her at a birth center and so I labored at home for the first two days and those were like two of the hardest, darkest days, I guess. Like that sounds so like, I don't know but they were just really mentally hard. I was dealing with a lot of fear and it was like when I look at when I look at my birth now I kind of look at it as like the

two days and then a day of like life and victory and the first two were just really hard. But it started, labor started on Wednesday night and my contractions are like five to six minutes apart. And then I had her Saturday morning at like five, 22. Dang. So it was long, but here's the thing. I was, I'll go ahead and say this before I kind of give more details

My sister asked me What the word that we felt like we're supposed to pray over her birth was supernatural and so when you hear supernatural child birth normally like that's in a form of no pain but when we felt to pray that over Her birth I just felt like I kept hearing God say, don't put a definition on it. And I really feel like that allowed me to go through it and honestly now not be disappointed.

But it's allowed me to see it all as supernatural and absolutely amazing. And my sister asked me, she said, after going through what you went through, looking back, would you choose the birth that you had, or would you choose a supernatural pain-free birth? And I said, I'd choose what God gave me, and because I got to see him in it. And it was, like I said, it was the hardest thing I've ever been through, but it has been so cool after the fact to see God show me who he was in every moment that I thought like he's not there.

Like I asked questions that I've never asked before in my life. And I was like, like God, where are you? Like where are you in all this? I do not feel you? I do not see you Where are you and like after now like he's been showing me I was right here. I was here in this moment and So wow when I came home from I'm kind of like gonna jump around because that's how my brain works now But when we walked back into the house After having her, I was like really afraid to come back inside and because I had labored at the house so much and it

was hard. And I would like see walls that I remember kind of like leaning on trying to get through contraction and stuff. And Clayton looked at me and he goes, we're gonna carry her around to every place of pain. And so, when he took Ronnie, we took the gift that he gave us, his miracle, supernatural miracle, and blessing, and went and walked around to every place that I could remember pain. And I feel like a new person.

Like after giving birth and like having her and experiencing that miracle, and I just feel like our faith has gone to a whole new place. Wow. And I've told him like, I feel new, I see new. Like our house looks new to me. It's really weird to explain, but I actually feel like my eyes have changed.

Wow. And something that was really cool, even like after experiencing just such three days, I guess, of labor and knowing that feeling like guys showing us where he was and my faith growing, there was a day that my chiropractor was like a huge part of her birth. And she came over a couple days after and just spent some time talking to me. And we just started just talking about where he was in each moment.

And God was showing her things about me, even during labor, which was so cool. And now I'll go back in and see. But she said, sorry, I lost my train of thought again. This is, this is, there's so much. She, what was it? You're good. Oh, man, it's really good.

You will think of it. You know what, it's funny. You know how I never really use notes to like preach or do anything. Now, the past few weeks, I've had to have like literally almost word for word notes because I, when I'd say the Bible character's name, I'd say all of them literally almost word for word notes because I when I'd say the Bible characters name, I say all of them wrong. Like I'm meaning to say Jacob, I say Joseph, I'm meaning to say Rachel, I say Rebecca, like I've been so off. So I totally understand that is real. New born brain is a thing too. Okay, just remembered. Good. Thank

you. Okay, so we are, we are in my room like after she had come over and talked to me and she left and then my dad came over after that and my dad was having paulsy like on his in his face and I don't know if you know exactly what that is, but I think we talked about it actually. Yeah, like half of your face half of his face completely just didn't work like It's where life, half of his face completely just didn't work. Like it was numb. And normally that can like, that can either last your whole life

or it can last three weeks, three months, a year, whatever. And he had just had it for like a week and he came over and there was just such like faith in the room after just experiencing that and seeing God carry us through. Before he left, I was like, we cannot, he cannot leave and we don't pray for him. So we prayed over him and then the next morning his face was like 95% better. Wow.

It completely. That is amazing. Come on. It's a lot of praise. Yes. So cool. It was so awesome. But that's just to say I can go back to the first story of some, but it's just seeing God

Carey is through that and knowing that it was hard, but also just seeing him in it. Yeah, so good has changed my life. It built your faith. That's incredible. It did. It really did. That is so cool. I love that.

And I can see it in you. Like, you have such an ease as a new mom like a lot of moms and their new moms which no shame it's hard it's crazy but I feel like you just saw God in such a tangible way that you have such an ease as you've been walking about and it's been beautiful to see and I've learned a lot already from you as a mom but you know I guess the last question because I think there's so much in here that people are going to love and be inspired by. But can I say one thing to wrap that up? Yeah. And we'll go back. What I will say changed, I don't feel like I got to this. I talked about the

two days being hard. What changed on the third day was before we went to the birth center, changed on the third day was before we went to the birth center, I was like at the end of myself. And I looked at my doula and my husband and I said, I cannot do this. I cannot do this. And my mom came and we called my midwife and I said, I cannot do this. And she said, why don't you come into the birth center and we'll go from there. And when my mom showed up, we got in the car and the whole way to the first center, all she did was say, Jesus. And she just kept saying, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

And I remember sitting there, and by that point, I hadn't eaten, I hadn't slept. And I was so exhausted and truly just really like the most at the end of myself have ever been in my life. And I kept like just going like this, like mom, say his name my year. I don't even have the strength to say his name, say his name. And when we got to the birth center,

that's what changed and that is what happened. People surrounded me and they just spoke his name over me and everything truly changed. And it wasn't that like, I mean, they thought I wasn't having contractions the whole way to the birth center. I was having them three minutes apart. Wow. But it just like he shifted his peace came and completely changed everything.

Wow. So I just didn't want to move forward. No, that's so important. And the thing is, it really mattered and how it did completely change. That's so powerful. I'm so glad you share that, because that's relatable to anybody,

whether you're going through labor or just a really hard season of your life, like things change whenever you lean upon your community or your people and somebody else maybe has faith for you, you know, faith to believe the things that maybe it's hard for you to believe in the MoMo or you're tired and you're hungry and let you just physically can't speak out in the moment. And so, I think that's a testimony to anybody, no matter what people are walking through.

Mom, not a mom, a man, I don't care who you are. Sometimes you need people to say Jesus with you. Yeah. Well the last thing I wanted to ask you and talk to you about is like I said you've gone through pregnancy with such an ease and even after pregnancy with an ease. And I know that's because Jesus is your strength. But also like I know there are nights that you are tired and let's be real Like there's milk everywhere and things are painful and things are real. And like for the newly new mom who is like, I'm exhausted, this is crazy. What keeps you going in those moments

and maybe what do you tell yourself or Clayton tells you that encourages you to get past those long nights or those painful moments? Cause I know you've rested with just the pain that after pain for a few weeks and that's hard but you've done it with ease. So what is some of those things that even encourage yourself in Clayton? Yeah, this is really cool. So I wrote something down earlier and I was like I felt like I was literally just speaking to me and I didn't I thought we were almost done.

I was like oh maybe I wasn't supposed to share that. This is a perfect moment. So I wrote down advice for like new moms and stuff and I just felt like I heard it's okay to not have it all together or feel like you know what you're doing. For where you're a week, that is where he is strong. So boast all the more gladly and loudly in your weakness. He will show you what to do. And the Holy Spirit is not a formula or a system to follow.

He is a person we are in relationship with, leading us every day, step by step, as your baby takes their first steps, and breath by breath as they breathe in their first breath. Take the pressure off yourself to have all the answers or to know what to do next. He will do the rest when you just rest in him. Come on, preach. Lane, that's so good. And that's so crazy because I had prepared all these questions or topics. And that's the one thing that I had in prepared. I just felt to ask you.

And so looking at the Lord before and prepared the way because new moms clearly need to hear that. And for those of you listening, and you're like, this girl can preach, she can preach, and she also just wrote a devotional book called Speak Your Name, which is really amazing too, even just with the burst story, because I've always said, whatever I write,

I'm challenged with. And when you were in the car and you're like, I can't even say it right now, you speak his name, but you still got the name of Jesus out there, and things shifted. It's incredible, like I would come on guys like that's so crazy it's cool too because before the book came out I remember I was like God I like need some new like like I walked through stuff like four years ago and it's a material he's like so what are you willing to walk through? Yeah.

Hey, that's incredible. Well, Lanny, you're such an inspiration to me and all the moms out there. Thank you for your advice to myself. As Krishna, I prepare and maybe by this pike has out sure to be here and I'll be listening back and all this new advice. But thank you seriously to all the moms out there. I know that they would say thank you.'re awesome Ronnie Grace is beautiful. Clayton's a great dad and we just love your family Thank you. We love y'all so much. We're so excited for you sweet girl. Woohoo

I'm surprised we I will say I was nervous was like are we gonna be able to make it through the podcast without one of us saying the name? I felt like I almost said it just now Is we girl saying the name. I felt like more. I almost said it just now. It's a big girl. That's hilarious. I love you. That was awesome. Yeah. I love you. Thanks for asking me to do it. It's so fun. you