WHOA That's Good Podcast - How My Trauma Turned Into Something Incredible — I'm a Different Person! | Sadie, Alyson Owen & Brittany Martin

Episode Date: October 21, 2024

Brittany Martin and Alyson Owen tell Sadie they're glad to be in a more girl-friendly studio than their husbands' podcast (Duck Call Room) and here today to talk about their lives before and after they fully surrendered to the Lord. For Brittany, Sadie's podcast was the turning point for her when she happened to select the Joyce Meyer interview and heard a story so similar to her own. And Alyson's decision to follow God wholeheartedly ultimately led to Brittany's decision to be baptized. The common bond is the power of vulnerability and how it truly revolutionized their marriages, their families — even their approach to social media!  This Episode of WHOA That's Good is Sponsored by: http://www.dreamlandbabyco.com — Use code WHOA for the sitewide BUY ONE GET ONE FREE deal today! https://ariseforwomen.com — Get this 21-day video series from Covenant Eyes completely FREE! https://sadiepens.com — Stock up on Mr. Pen Bible journaling supplies today! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Happy Monday, everybody. I hope you're having a great start to your week, but y'all, it is about to get so good. I am literally on the edge of my seat for this podcast today because this is such a special episode. I'm kind of going in blind to this podcast today because this is such a special episode. I'm kinda going in blind to this podcast because I just kinda stepped into this story and was like, wait, I need to unravel this.

And we could have unraveled this over coffee with just us three, but we're choosing to unravel this on a podcast with a lot of people listening. Not to make y'all nervous, but it's gonna be so good. You guys might be familiar with these beautiful women's husbands, Martin, Justin Martin, and John David, Duck Call Room people. This is gonna be a little bit different conversation

if you ever listen to the Duck Call Room podcast. We have Brittany Martin and Allison Owen on the podcast today, so welcome. So happy to be here. Yeah, I hear this is a little bit different than the Duck Call Room experience y'all had. It's chaos in there. It is pure chaos and I do not thrive in chaos.

No. Well, this is a little bit more organized. So, you know, it looks a little bit more aesthetically pretty. I love it. So, so pretty. We're gonna have some inspiring conversations. Not that theirs is not inspiring too, just different kind of inspiration

But no, I'm so excited for this. So back story I'm just gonna tell all the people listening kind of what I mean by I'm on the edge of my seat because When okay, when did you get baptized Brittany? When was that? Gosh No, I Feel like it was like August August. It Yeah, it was not that long ago. I think it was towards the end of August. Gosh, I should know the date.

But listen, I had two toddlers. So my brain space. Yeah, two twin boys. Yeah, my brain space has been. If anyone has mom brain, it would be the mom of two twin boys. So. I'm just trying to stay afloat.

Grace for the journey. But it was around August and I walked into church and per usual we're running late, you know? And so, walking, running late for the second service by the way, which is already later, but it's okay. Nonetheless, it was God's perfect timing because I walk around the corner and I see you getting baptized.

And we don't know each other super well, but I obviously know you. So I was like, oh my gosh, Brittany's getting baptized. And we don't know each other super well, but I obviously know you. So I was like, oh my gosh, Brittany's getting baptized. That's so exciting. So I could walk over there and watch you get baptized. And I see Allison. So I go stand by Allison.

And you walk down. And I was planning to give you a hug, but you gave me the biggest hug and just for like, you have no idea. And so- You really did it. I wanna share a little bit of just what like you have no idea. And so, You really didn't. I wanna share a little bit of just what I really had no idea was,

just the power of that moment. So, I had been baptized before as a child, I think I was like six or seven. I was like really young and just didn't truly know what that meant, in all honesty. But I'm 33, and as my life has gone on, I have experienced, starting in childhood, things that I don't think any child should see or experience.

I just kind of got stuck in this negative energy. Just a lot of things were going on in my life and it wasn't just one season. It seemed to be like this was just how my life was going to go. It started, you know, with my parents divorce and just it unraveled pretty quickly after that. I met Justin in college, when I was in college, he had already graduated and I just, he was too good, like, for my life.

Remember, I'm thinking my life is supposed to just be in this negative space all the time. And he was the exact opposite. So I just took a chance with him, you know, and I'm from Nashville, so I left my whole family, all my friends, you know, you know, looking back as hard as that was, looking at it now was the best thing

that could have ever happened to me because it opened such a whole different world to me and how I was raised and, you know, all the negative energy that I was always around. But the thing is, is I did not, him and I will be 10 years married in May. And I'd say for the first five or six years of that, I was not following Jesus.

He was. In fact, he would pray at the table. He would listen to Christian music in his truck. And like, if I'm being honest, I didn't like it. I was like, oh my gosh, here we go again with the Christian music. We're just so different, it's really crazy. But I don't think it was until like postpartum. When I realized I had suppressed a lot of things and a lot of traumas that just arose after postpartum, during postpartum. You think it was like just becoming a mom that brought it up?

Becoming a mom, it brought up every single childhood trauma that I had honestly buried, you know, because I'm taught to sweep things under the rug, like even if it could be just something really crazy, if you're like, no one can ignore that, I was raised, you can ignore that type thing. So it was really confusing growing up, like right from wrong, truth, not truth. And Justin and I have a whole like testimony in ourselves, but the postpartum, that's what really,

I started getting counseling after postpartum and I wasn't even really following then, postpartum, that's what really I started getting counseling after postpartum. And I wasn't even really following then. But back in March, me and my sister, we're 10 years apart, so quite a difference in testimonies for sure. But I saw her even though we have two different moms, I saw her going through things that I also was experiencing and I just felt so like heartbroken and hopeless and just felt like there was nothing I could do to fix it

because if I couldn't get myself out of it, how was I gonna get her out of it? And all this time, I'm not seeking the Lord or anything. But Justin has stuck with me. He's been the most consistent thing in my life to this day. And seeing his love for Jesus really just kind of like in a consistent manner.

Because you know, like to see it actually lived out, he doesn't stress and I am in a ball of anxiety. Just, this is a buildup of everything I've gone through in my life. And he's been there through thick and thin. And so I was starting to like already open it up to the idea of like, I was feeling really hopeless. My stepmom had passed away from alcoholism back in 2021.

And Justin had lost his dad in December of 2020. So he just experienced a lot of loss. And I was not dealing with that in a way that was healthy for anybody. And he's still stuck with me through it. It's so crazy to think about, honestly. But it was in March, where some things were going on with my family

that I felt completely out of control of. And me and my sister were driving back down to Louisiana. I had to go up to Tennessee for something. I can't remember what it was. And she wanted to see the boys. So she rode back with me and got a one-way ticket back to Nashville. And in that conversation,

we were talking about our situation. And I'm a very emotional person. I'm a very like, lead with my feelings type of person, and I'm in process of working on that. But we were talking about it, and I could feel the energy in my car just going bad. Going south, I knew that I needed to do something to change the mood, the vibe. And I remember my sister had gone to Low Conference the year prior and I didn't go. I just helped her get tickets to go. I didn't think I was not interested. I mean, not that I wasn't interested.

I just wasn't living for the Lord then, you know? So, but so I thought that just popped in my head. I was like, Sadie has a podcast. I like listening to podcasts a lot, except my podcast listening is horrible for my anxiety. Like true crime, all the things, all the negative, you know. And I was like, well, we can't do that. Like, that's not where we're trying to up this.

And so I was like- I did not see this coming by the way. I didn't see it either. So I put on your podcast and the podcast, cause this was at the very beginning of the drive and I'm sure you've driven to Nashville before. It's an eight hour drive. It's a good drive.

Yeah, it's a good drive and it's so boring. So I like to listen to podcasts and I was like, okay, but the only positive podcast that I know off the top of my head is Sadie's podcast sounds like my sister just went I was like this will be good. Hopefully something will come from this Oh my gosh, and we're driving in the first episode that I listened to of all your podcasts now I've been just like a lot, so it's hard to like keep track, but I will never forget the first one. It was with Joyce Meyer.

Wow. And- I have chills, this is so cheesy. Oh my gosh. And her telling her story with the abuse and all of that, to see where she had come from. story with the abuse and all of that to see where she had come from. And I think it was honestly the last 10 minutes of that episode that really flipped the switch.

I ended up buying Battlefield of the Mind. I ended up going into this like deep dive. Oh my God. She was talking about how she, you know, blamed everyone else for the things that had happened to her. I was definitely doing that. You know, there's a lot of situations I put myself in

and then there's a lot of situations that I was put in unwillingly. But as an adult, I just realized I don't have to live in that. I don't have to dwell in all that shame of wherever, whatever, whoever did whatever they did to me, led me to this, led me to this, led me to this. And I just was like, if if all of this wouldn't have happened, I think I even told my counselor, I was like, if I had found Sadie's podcast in 2005, I think my life would have drastically been different.

And not that I wish it to be different at all, it just goes to show you the impact of testimony and you doing this, why you do it. Like that Joyce Meyer, we ended up listening to your podcast the whole eight hours, like the whole rest of the way. And then it wasn't maybe, when did you, you posted a Facebook post talking about

how you were going to do this group. I had done several before, but like when we started a new study, I always post so like people can come. And so I can't even remember, was it the April Rogers study we were doing? Yes. Yeah, we did her new study in Resting in Jesus,

which was so perfect. I was tired of running. And I posted like, hey, we're her new study, and resting in Jesus, which was so perfect. I was tired of running. And I posted like, hey, we're about to start the study if anyone wants to join, and you messaged me, and I was like, oh, well that'd be awesome, you know? And y'all started coming to Christchurch, and you came to the Bible class, and yeah. Oh my gosh, so you get plugged into this Bible study,

and that was probably, what, your first time to do that? That was my very first Bible study ever. Wow, did you feel awkward going in? Yes, 100%. And I didn't know what I was like. You didn't like Christian music, and you didn't even wanna come to a low conference for the sake of the fun.

It just wasn't in my... I'm just saying, that's a bold move to go to a Bible study, because it's easier to slip into a church and not be seen. It's a different thing to actually go to a Bible study where because it's easier to slip into a church and not be seen. It's a different thing to actually go to a Bible study where you're in a circle of women who are sharing stories. Of all ages too, there was such a... Like every decade.

Every decade, every type of life, every like, it was just such a launching pad. And all of that happened because she obeyed. And like, you know, I questioned myself. I mean, should I post this on Facebook? Is this stupid? You know, but like, I'm glad I did. I'm so glad you did.

Okay, now you're here. And so you get plugged into the Bible study. And so when was this? Was that around April? When did you start coming? I think May. I'm horrible with dates. I think it was May. I'm horrible with dates.

It was May, it was after Mother's Day. So I just think this is so cool because it just shows how the Lord, you know, I mean, he is a God who can expedite things. Like turn water into wine. Like that should not happen that fast, but he did it immediately. You think about Saul becoming Paul immediately.

And I think so many times people think like, man, I have this long of a testimony. It dates back to childhood. How could I have hope, right? Can it really change for me? But yeah, you're telling your testimony and in March you listen to a podcast that just kick starts something.

Then you see a post about a Bible study. You dive into a Bible study. Fast forward to August, you get baptized, become a new creation. You're on this podcast in October. Like, this is like crazy. When you say it like timeline way like that, it's just. It's crazy, but like.

Your whole life changed. That's what God does. I was just about to say, the only thing that made that possible was God. That couldn't have been any other, I shouldn't even be living here. Honestly, I shouldn't even be living. There were like so many instances.

Some people will say I had one like near death experience, like a life, I had one near-death experience, like a life. I had a few of those. And a lot of them were of my own doing and inducing, and a lot of them weren't. And that's just a heavy thing to carry. Wow. There's so much purpose for your life.

Obviously God had another plan for you. So it's just amazing. There's so much purpose for your life, you know? Like, obviously God had another plan for you, so. Yeah, man, it's crazy. And I just had to say too, because you shared this before, that this is your first time sharing your testimony, literally to anyone besides your husband. And so to choose to come on a podcast with a lot of listeners and say,

I wanna share my story, I mean, that's a bold thing to do. That takes a lot of bravery and courage. And I love that you said, and I know you said this to Maya yesterday, and you said this morning, like if it literally impacts one person, like if there's someone who hears my story,

because you were someone listening to this podcast who heard someone's story and said like, man, if God can do it for her, God can do it for me. And here you are. Like, if I can turn all of that negative, all that trauma into something good, I didn't even know that that was a route. Wow.

You know, like I didn't even know that that was an option. Wow. That anything good could have come from what I experienced. That just shows the power of life with Jesus. Yes. And you know, as a person who got in my husband's truck and was like, can you please turn this Christian music off? I love that so much.

I used to think it was like a cliche. Like, it's not true. They're putting on a front. I think the little bit of church that I did grow up in was a lot, kind of like your testimony a little bit. Like, you know, you didn't feel like it was authentic. You didn't feel like it was truly something that you could believe in.

It was all a facade. People acted different outside of church, all the things. And I only got like a small little bit of that. So when I saw that, I was like, I already have enough of that in my own life, personally. And I cannot add any more than that. Wow.

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And if you are looking for a gift for a new mom, you're going to win at Best Gift if you get them this. It really is just the power of God. And it's so cool because I've been talking about this because I've been reading acts, which is just so cool to see where the church started. And it's in Acts 11 whenever the Gentiles are now getting the message of the gospel. So same kind of thing. Like I didn't even know this was a route for me.

Like I didn't even know there was hope for me too. And Peter gets his vision that he's supposed to go preach to the Gentiles, share the same message with them. So Peter comes back and the Jewish people, the church is a little skeptical. Like you went to who and preach what? Like this is the message that God gave us. And then as Peter is telling them what happened,

he said, in the same way that God fell on us, God fell on them. And it was like, I can't deny that he did the same thing that he did for us, he did for them. Then after he tells them this, it says that all those believers, they were silent. Like they no longer argued if it was okay or not. It was just like, man, that's what God's doing now.

So then this church breaks out in Antioch. And then a little bit down in chapter 11, it says, in Antioch, that was the first place that people were called Christians, that believers were called Christians. So I was studying like that word, because Christians only use like three times in the New Testament.

It's not like now everyone's like, we all say Christian, like that's our main word. But used to it was like follower, disciple. But yeah, there's three times it says Christian. And it's only used when it's describing a distinct group of people. And if you study that word, like the back end of the word, it literally means the party of Christ.

So what does it mean to be a Christian? You're in the party of Christ. And back in the day, you were not a Christian because you went to a church. You were not a Christian because that's how your family was. You were only a Christian if you distinctively looked like the party of Christ. If you actually had the characteristics of Jesus.

So you wouldn't have been like, I don't even know that you would have told someone I'm a Christian, someone would have said to you, you're a Christian because you act like Christ. And it's so cool because these believers, they were quickly becoming Christians. It was like they used to act this way and now everything about them looks like Christ,

acts like Christ. Paul is like the perfect example of that because he's like, I used to be Saul. Everything I am now is Christ. Like I'm acting like Christ. And so I look at your life and like the same characteristics I see in the word is so you. And it's not about like what church background, what this.

It's like, no, you identify with Christ. And like when he made you a new creation, you took on the identity of a Christ follower. And like the spirit of him lives in you. And so is it crazy? Yes, but it's Jesus. Like that is the message. It's supposed to be.

And so it's just so cool as you read stories and acts, and you look up and you go, well, God, you're doing the same thing today. This is what it looks like, because it's the same God. And I just love that you point that out and just be honest about like, hey, there's some manipulation in the church,

and that's not God. You know, like, that's not the way God acts. That's not the way God operates. That's not God, you know? But when you really get God, it changes everything. And I love that you brought up your testimony because y'all's testimonies are very different. I think that's a beautiful thing about you both

being on this podcast because there are gonna be a lot of girls who listen to this who go, Brittany, you just said, I mean, you just literally read my mail. Everything about my life is your life and thank you for giving me hope that Jesus can do something in my life. And there's another group of girls who share

a very similar testimony to you. But I love how these stories combine because you start a Bible study that she comes to, you become a true believer, a party of Christ person. Oh, I'm a different person. You get that right. It's unreal. I show up. I'm still shocked by it, to be honest with you.

Like, the things I do daily, like my whole life daily just did this, and I never believed when people were like, oh, I made the change, or, you know, I found Jesus. I just, it didn't click for me until recently. And it shows like whenever you do make that decision, like it is a life change. It's not like you actually changed the way you act.

It's okay, I'm different now, but you actually have to put the work in. Yes. And like that's kind of a little bit like, like I was young when I got baptized and it was out of fear because like I just, I was taught like God's basically gonna strike you down by lightning if you mess Up and so like I was perfect at church

I was like I am NOT going forward in front of this whole church like tell you what I'm doing I'm good, you know, which was okay Not everybody knows what that is because that's so unique to the church We went to but literally like at the church we went to, confession is a big thing, and so if you did something that you felt you needed to confess or repent, people would go down to the front and literally announce it to the whole church, and this isn't 100 people in the church. This is a good 1,000 people in the church,

so it's a bold thing to do. Yeah, I'm like, I'm not doing that. Which was good, and God uses that in a lot of ways, but I was the same way as you. I felt a lot of fear, like I gotta be perfect because I do not want to do that and I gotta be perfect and I want to be baptized because I feel like if you don't get baptized then yeah, yeah things will happen And so I I come from a similar background to you as in the thought process and that changed for me, too So how did it shift in your life? Well, so like throughout childhood like middle school high school

I feel like I was one person at church. Like I could do no wrong, you know? And then at school I was like party girl. Like I was identified as like a chameleon personality. Like I would just like be this person with these people. I could be this person with the youth group, you know, like just whoever I wanted to be. But like, it was so exhausting, like,

playing both sides and like, I was also eaten up by guilt and fear. I was like, oh God, like, what are you gonna do to me? You know, like, I thought that was who God was. And so, going into like, I got married so young, because like, you have to get married younger if you have sex, you know, like outside of marriage, you're gonna like die.

And so like, we got married young, like for the wrong reasons, you know, I envy people who, you know, get married now that have like walked through these Bible studies together and like truly have a relationship built on God before going into marriage because we didn't. We were just young and in love, but it has worked out. And we've grown together, which is so beautiful.

So going into that, I got pregnant super young, had a baby, all that, and found us in a place where I had to seek God because Carter went through so much. And so, God showed up for us in the NICU over and over and time again, but once we got home and life went back to normal, so did my ways. And not that I was doing anything crazy,

but I was just complacent in life, you know? And so I wasn't growing. I just wanna speak to this too, because I feel like this is so relatable. Like when you have a false understanding of who God is, a lot of times, and even like growing up in church, you think, okay, well, if I do something wrong,

then what's gonna happen? And then you like pray. So it's almost like a defense faith, where it's like, okay, I gotta pray because I did defense faith, where it's like, okay, I gotta pray because there's something wrong. Or it's like, okay, I gotta pray because something bad's happening to me. And so I need God.

It's almost like you're playing the defense the whole time, but it's like, there's so much more to that relationship. But I wanted to call that out because that's so common. Like, that is a lot of people's perspective and idea of God. It's like, I'm gonna call on you when I need you, or I'm gonna call on you when something need you, or I'm gonna call on you when something bad happens, or I did something bad.

But I know there's more in your story, but that's just super relatable. Yeah. Yeah. I know within the church, it can be really hard to bring up topics like pornography, and especially for women. We all know how serious the effects of porn has been

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They have thought about you and what your needs are and want to help you. So experience hope and freedom like never before with Arise. Get this resource completely free by scanning the QR code on the screen or visiting ariseforwomen.com. Again, that is ariseForWomen.com. And so like, you know, I would never open my Bible,

but like we went to church, we never missed church, you know, but also I still was just kind of going through the motions. And so we decided to shift gears and go to a different church, which we just really didn't have much community because we were very young and got married, very young parents. And there just wasn't that at the church we were going to. And so we were like Church of Christ

and then started going to like a non-denominational church who used to be Pentecostal, you know? So this is like out of the norm. But we went on a, John Avid went on a men's retreat and I went on a women's retreat and when we were there, like people were standing up and being so vulnerable. And I was like, what are they doing? They were like telling like their life story

in front of all these people. And I said, I would never do that. But like that weekend was so freeing for me because I was like, wow, actually, there's so much freedom and vulnerability. And so it just like started like planting a seed, you know, it always starts there. And the same with you, like it started somewhere,

but then you have to keep watering it. And so when I got home, I was like, just diving into the word and I was like, I can't get enough, I'm like cramming for finals over here. And so I was like, I have to get baptized. So I got baptized again. I think I was like 28, seven, I don't know. And so, but like from the moment I came out of the water,

a new creation, like it was so different than doing it out of fear, than doing it out of fear, than doing it out of a love for God. And so from that moment on, I spent, so it's been, I guess, six years now, almost, maybe five, I've been just, I can't get enough of the Word and learning about God.

And I've learned so much about Him and what has been so profound for me is learning the names of God because I've learned so much about him. And what has been so profound for me is learning the names of God because like I've learned so much of who he is. And every time I like learn more about him, I fall more in love with him. And then somebody had called me out and said to come meet with him in his office.

And he used to work at Christchurch, it's Jeffrey Kent. No way. And I was like, I don't know what you wanna talk to me about, he was like, I just wanna help you. And I'm like, I don't need help. Like I don't need help, I'm good. So for two years I avoided it. And so one time, one moment I was like,

he brought it up again and been months. I was like, we were gonna hang out with them that night. And I was like, Lord, he hadn't brought this up in months. But if he brings it up tonight, I'm going. And he brought it up, I was like, we were gonna hang out with them that night and I was like, Lord, he hadn't brought this up in months, but if he brings it up tonight, I'm going. And he brought it up, I was like, oh gosh, I've gotta go now. Did you see him in between these months? And you just didn't say anything?

Some of our best friends went out all the time. You just avoided the deep question. Oh yeah. And so I meet with them and it was basically a counseling session and he's like Talking to me about my childhood. I've never been to a counselor and I was like what is happening? And I like ugly cried on that couch and I was like, oh my gosh Make me realize like I live in this bubble of comfort and like I don't want to step out of my comfort zone

Because I'm scared and fearful. And I am, or I was, I was like, I'm living right here and I'm not stepping out, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm complacent right here. And so I still had that spirit of complacency on my life. And so when I left that office that day, I was like, okay, Lord, I surrender all. And so like, you can, you know,

make the choice to follow God and to be baptized. But like until you truly surrender everything, like your life is still gonna be bound in chains. And so that from that day forward, it's been two September's ago, I think I like surrendered. And I was like, okay, Lord, I want you to use me. I want to do whatever it is that you want me to do. And like, yes, he's called me to some scary stuff,

but every single time I say yes, like there's so many blessings and I'm not doing it for the blessings, but it's just like so fulfilling. And so I felt like I needed to do this Bible class and I was like, oh, what if no one comes? So that was part of your stepping out was starting the Bible study that you went to.

Dang! I was like, what if no one comes, okay? And so, but like, and it took a lot of people like, to do it like encouragement, I needed that. And so I was like, okay, I'm just gonna do it and hope people come. And so I had a number, I was like, Lord, if like, I'm supposed to have 20 people come. And like, it was like exactly that number.

And it was just, it's just little God winks like that. Like that's what life with God is like, you know. And so I did it for a while and I was like, this is great, like I love doing this. And anyway, so I just really started it because I wanted to create a space where people could be vulnerable because I was like, there's so much beauty in it.

And I love talking about the Lord and you can come to church on Sunday. Like our church doesn't really have Bible class and that's how I grew up. And so I was like, I'm just gonna see if we could do this, you know, like after church on Sunday, after the service. And so yeah, it's been great. And I wanted to just create the space for women

to come together, talk about the Bible and like, you know, be vulnerable. And those women were so vulnerable and it was just so good. And I do think the, well, I know like God's timing was just so perfect because we had done a few studies before that to where a lot of the women were comfortable. And it made her feel comfortable. She was so vulnerable in the group.

I don't know what to remember. My first Bible study, and I was like, well, if they're being vulnerable, then... Yeah, wow. Because I had just come off of... I've been feeling isolated my whole life, but postpartum really isolated me. I got so in my head.

Have you ever seen the Netflix show Maid? There's like, when she's down in that pit, that was me. I just felt like I could not, I was so deep in my own, and they were negative thoughts. You know, it was just so much negative and I couldn't get out of that hole. And I think her doing that study and allowing me to have that space,

when, you know, I don't have any friends or family here. I don't really have a whole lot of friends here. You know, it's not like I can go and. Express this to a group of girlfriends, you know, I don't have that. So like, but it was building and building and building. And I knew that I was about to explode. And when I saw her Facebook post, I was like, I had no idea that I was gonna end up

being as vulnerable as I thought. I thought that I had already done the vulnerable part, which was going to the vital study. I was like, that's it, okay, I did it. I did my vulnerable move. And it just ended up being so much more beautiful than that. And I do wanna say this, because I didn't hit on this and I wanted to, but I forgot, but you know.

Story of a mom brain, okay. I just have felt my whole life, like I needed to just put this facade on, like I have my life together and it's perfect, and I can show up to church and I'm good, you know? But it even followed me into motherhood, but becoming a mom, it's so hard to act like you have your followed me into motherhood. But I, becoming a mom, like it's so hard to like, act like you have your life together as a mom.

Because it is a wild world. Like you never know what's coming. So I'm like, you know, this is exhausting. And so like after going on that retreat, I saw people being real. And I was like, man, there's so much freedom in being real. And I just used to want everyone to like me. And I wanted to be included in every single group,

which was exhausting because you're always running and doing. And I like took like a year and I felt God tell me to like pull back. So I literally removed myself from like everything. And I literally sat with him every single day and like changed my life. But like now I'm like, now I'm going out again,

but it took that season of just being still with God. And I'm just wanting to speak to the people out there. If you're living a life, that's great. Part, you want everyone to like you or you want to look like you have it all together because on social media, like, you can play, you can be anyone you wanna be. And I went through that, like, I used to post

all these beautiful pictures of my kids and, like, I wanted everyone to think that we were the perfect little family. I do think you were the perfect little family. I agree. That was me. But that's what's been so cool, though, even knowing you is like, I, like,

we haven't been super, super close, but I know you well enough to know that like, I've seen the shift so evidently, and I've been like, what, what, like, what did God do in Allison's life? So like hearing it, it's just like amazing. Because even like your social media, like, didn't you change, like, did you delete that old Instagram, or did you revive it?

No, it's still on there, I just changed my name, but like I just started posting different. I remember like the shift though, like you posted different, and, it's still on there. I just changed my name, but I just started posting different. I remember the shift though. You posted different, and your page is still beautiful and amazing, but it's real, and the captions are so good. You are a great follow on social media. But I remember back in the day, it was good too. It was just more aesthetically good,

and now there's so much depth to it. It's a true, a great example of a mom. I don't care what it looks like, and I used to be obsessive over what it looked like to other people. And so, you know, it's just, I feel like social media is so huge, you know? And there's so much pressure,

even for the younger people, even my generation. You know, I'm 33 like you. I didn't know we were the same age. Jesus. Oh, 33, that's a good year. That is crazy. One of my favorite things is to get in the Word and to have a journal beside me when I do so. I love seeing just new things God is showing me

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Amen, gosh. It's a tough thing. We don't need to know what you ate for lunch every day, even though I will post all my bread. So I'm so sorry. But I'm also like tempted to do it. I love your bread though. But also.

The thing is like you're still, like for me, I get still tempted to do it. Like, but I know myself that I'll get bogged down into that. I do love social media, like I love it. Social media is a great tool though, but everything you're saying, I remember studying the difference at one point of the difference of being liked

and the difference of being loved. And I think your testimony represents a big, like that jump. It's like at one point you just wanted to be liked. So you just wanted the affirmation of others, you wanted people to think whatever about you. And so you put out this image that was likable. But then there comes this point where it's like, you know what, you can only go so far with that

because being liked means that you gotta stay looking good all the time. It can't be messy, you gotta be likable. And in a relationship, especially marriage, like you know it, I know it, your husband and you are not always likable. You know, thank God for love, because if it was all based on the likability,

then it would be a lot harder. It would fail. Because there's a depth that's like, yeah, I know I'm not likable right now, but you love me and you know me. Like you know why I am the way that I am, that even in those, the messiness, man, I know I'm loved and there's something so powerful in knowing,

even in the mess, I'm loved. That's where the freedom comes. Because then you're like, I can be seen as I am, but it's okay if not everybody likes me. I'm loved by God, I'm loved by my family, I love who I am. And there's such a freedom that comes off your life. And it's so cool to me that you used to be the person that the confession part at church,

you're like, I do not wanna do that. But then you understood the reason behind it when you saw the vulnerability and the power behind it. It's like, man, to be known and to be accepted in that and loved in that, God does for us. And the community of God should do for us, it sets you free. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there, really is freedom.

It's amazing. I remember, similar to you, I was living such a hypocritical lifestyle in high school and that really is exhausting. To look one way and for people to affirm that version of you and you to know in the back of your mind, that's not really who I am. It's so exhausting and it's like, man,

if they do find out then I'm done, you know, because I'm really not that person but everyone seems to like it so I gotta keep up with it. And I remember kind of similar to the Jeffrey moment, I had this mentor and I had gotten honest with her. She was like the first person I like came clean, like I'm struggling. And like that's really not who I am, this version.

And I feel really guilty about that. And I don't really know what to do about that, but this is just how it is. And I remember whenever I started confessing thanks for her, like I still remember her face being a little shocked and me feeling awkward about it. I was like, shoot, you're not supposed to look like that. That's me feeling awkward about it. I was like, shoot you're not supposed to look like that. That was like my first counseling session. I was like, is it too much?

I know, and then I said something and she was like, and I was like, too, I know it's bad. And then she like grabbed my hand. I was like, okay, it's okay. Okay, I'll keep going. And I was like, okay. So then I kept sharing and then she said, you need inner healing. And I was like, no. Like, I know that sounds way too intense. And I was just not in the head space for that at that time. I was just like thinking, again, I already did the vulnerable part, I told you.

I don't need to do more. Like, I don't wanna like go to counseling and have to pray about this. And like, I just was like, I just wanted to get it out to someone because that felt lighter. But now we gotta do the work. Yeah, and she's like, no, no, now we gotta heal.

You need to heal. You need to go through some inner healing prayer. And I was like, I literally told her no. I was like, no, I really don't wanna do that. And it scared me so bad. I know it sounds funny, but I feel like we all kinda had that similar moment where it's like, no, that's too far

Yes, because it intimidated me. Well, anyways, finally it took me like two It didn't take me quite as long two years to me two days and I was like We'll do it and I was just ugly crying on the floor same as y'all and I remember thinking there was probably like 30 minutes Long and it was like three hours long Like time just didn't exist in that moment and they were like so amazing to sit with me and listen and pray over me and like I'm not kidding when I got up off the floor that day I and I had gotten baptized around that time too. I was truly a different person like because I wasn't held back like I wasn't chained to the past like I wasn't still like dealing with that I chained to the past. I wasn't still dealing with that. I was just like, everything's about to shift for me.

And it literally did. And I look back at that, I was 17 and I'm 27 now. The past 10 years, dramatically different because of that moment in my life. Had I not done that, I don't think I could do what I do now. Actually, I will say, I could not do what I do now. God had to set me free and I had to like let him.

Like I had to surrender. Imagine not, you know, doing that. Like you wouldn't be where you're at today. I would have not said yes to this Bible class. None of us would be sitting here right now. It is crazy, you know, like, it's just like small little moments of examples of like life with God, like, it's just like small little moments of examples of like life with God,

how beautiful it is and like how he can use your hurt and your mess for good because without truly surrendering and like giving him everything and being vulnerable, like none of the beauty of this would have happened, you know? It's so true. It's so true. And it's like the thing that you're afraid of,

but that's the place God meets you, you know? Whenever you're able to just get raw and real. And it's actually like, this is extreme, but it's true. Because even when y'all said you're 33, I'm like, Jesus, what a great year. But I'm like, well, that's your Jesus died. So it's actually like, would be horrible unless he resurrected and gave us hope, you know?

So it's like the moment it gets like bad, and like you literally die to yourself, then you come alive in Christ. And so yeah, it's scary to die, but it's not quite as scary when you don't have the sting of death and you have like the hope of heaven. And so I feel like all of our testimonies represent that.

And then how cool that all of our testimonies have we'd into each other's life without even us knowing. Like friends listening to this podcast, I've never heard these stories. I'm sitting here, I know y'all, which is crazy, I don't know this, but I'm like, man, it is. It's a big crowd around here too.

And it's like we're close, but haven't sat in her, plus you have twin boys and you have three kids and I have two girls and life is busy and crazy. But to sit here, I'm just amazed at God and just the power of your testimony. I just want to say this too because I had a girl say this to me recently. I thought it was so good. I was like, yes, you, yes, you get it. Do that. So a lot of people come up to me, they're like, I want to do what you're doing. And then I'm like, well, what

exactly do you mean by that? Because sometimes people's idea of what I'm doing might be like, oh, I want to start a podcast or I want to go preach places and stuff like that, you know, because sometimes people's idea of what I'm doing might be like, oh, I wanna start a podcast or I wanna go preach places and stuff like that. And then I always say to people, you should start a Bible study because that's really how I started. I mean, in eighth grade, I started doing Bible studies and essentially I feel like I'm still kinda doing

the same thing, just there's a different platform now. And I had this girl come up to me recently and she said, it was actually at a little conference. She comes up to me right when I'm about to walk backstage, she says, Sadie, can I tell you something? She said, I wanna tell you I'm sorry. She said, because I have compared my life to your life for a long time.

And she said, I always thought I wanna do what you're doing. And she said, but in my mind, to do what you're doing, I needed this. And she pointed to the stage and she said, but as I've sat in the room with you, I've realized this is not what you're doing, I needed this." And she pointed to the stage and she said, but as I've sat in the room with you, I've realized this is not what you're doing. Like you're, that's not it. And she said, so for me, she said,

I'm gonna go back to my little small town. And she said, I'm gonna start a Bible study. And she was like, I'm just gonna start inviting God into that space. And I was like, go girl, because that's what ministry is. And so for me, I'm like, so many people think like, oh, I'll start living my life for the Lord

when it looks like a stage. But like, I love Allison that you were like, God radically changed my life. I feel challenged up outside of my comfort zone. I'm gonna start a Bible study. I would love for 20 people to come. That feels like a reasonable number, Lord, 20 people. That's a great number.

20 people came and look at the impact. Look at the impact it makes. And then in your life, Brittany, that's gonna, maybe that ministry is looking like your family, your boys, how you're gonna raise your boys and the family that you're gonna have and a new cycle, a new generation of faithfulness

to the Lord. Definitely one of those chain breakers. It's amazing, it's breakers. It's amazing. It's just beautiful. It really is. So like your testimony is like your testimony in your life and your spirit of influence. And the fact that you came on, both of you guys came on

and shared this with like so many people I'm inspired by because I know it takes a lot of vulnerability, but I feel like so much of the heart of both of you is that vulnerability has been like such a powerful thing in your life that's led you to the Lord. So thank you both for leading other people in that too. Me leading people? That's crazy. It's amazing. No, it's like that's the whole thing.

Like when I, like I said, I didn't even know that that was a route. If I could take what I've been through and help someone else with it and lead them closer to God, introduce them to Jesus, I'm still in the process of learning all these things. So I'll be learning with you, but I'll walk with you. Let's go.

Because I have seen it firsthand in my own personal life, the change that it can make if you just drop everything that you have and follow him. It's unreal. I feel like that's the power of God. Once you realize what a life with him is, you don't care who knows your story. You don't care about being vulnerable.

You want to be seen and you want to get whoever you can to have what you have to. It's not about you anymore. It's like the emphasis is not on how bad you are, it's on how good God is. And that's why Paul, he's like, I will boast in my weakness, you know? Because in my weakness is when God is made so strong.

And so it really is such a beautiful thing when that switch happens and you're like, wait, I'm not afraid to tell my story because why would I be ashamed of the gospel? It's power of the gospel that set me free. And I just feel like you all are such a great example of truly walking in freedom with the Lord, such a great example of leading.

I just think it's so cool. I love how you even surprised us. You're like, I'm leading, oh my gosh. I just think it's so cool. I love how you even like surprised us. You're like, I'm leading, oh my gosh. You are, like it's beautiful. It's gonna give so much hope to people listening. Y'all, this was one of the coolest podcasts, truly. Truly, I've sitting here like, this is the coolest podcast, like this is like crazy.

And I just wanna note what you said about like still learning and wishing this podcast was in like 2005. But, cause for me, like, I was talking to my friends about this yesterday, like, you know, we just hit our 300th episode, and I've been doing this for six and a half years, and I was like, I cannot even tell you how much this podcast has changed me,

getting to sit here and listen to story after story, and testimony after testimony. I was like, I would not be who I am had I not sat and gotten to be a part of all these conversations. And I'm like, I am the first to, I am learning alongside of everyone. You know, like part of me wanting to host this podcast

was for me to just get other people who are really great and listen to them, you know? And so I'm like, people thank me for doing the podcast. I thank people, cause I'm like, thank you for listening so we can keep going. Thank you for the people who come on and so boldly share their testimony. You just don't know how many people it really does reach

and it's gonna change. So everyone listening to this podcast today, they both have social media. We're gonna put their tags in the show notes below and send them messages. If you're encouraged by this, let them know how they spoke to you in this, how God's speaking to you.

I know it'll be a huge encouragement to them. You guys already do that so well. Like I always have friends who are on the podcast send me screenshots of things that y'all say and it just goes such a long way because we don't get to see you while we record. So we'd love to hear from you. But guys, thank you all so much for coming out.

Thank you for having us. It was so fun. It was so fun.