WHOA That's Good Podcast - How to Love Friends Well While They're in a Toxic Relationship | Sadie Rob Huff & Bella Rob Mayo

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

Bella is BACK for a fun chat with Sadie answering YOUR questions about helping friends in toxic relationships, how to love well but not micro-manage, when honesty is best and most loving, and why not expecting all your happiness to be provided by others is so important. Plus, Bella talks about being married at a young age, how she knew Jacob was the one for her right away, and when she turned her life around and began her relationship with the Lord. And do you feel like your testimony is a bit "boring?" Sadie and Bella encourage us that there really is no such thing!  https://www.homechef.com/whoa — Get 75% off your first box! https://athleticgreens.com/whoa — Get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D & 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up sisters and friends welcome back to the sisters and friends podcast. I always love a day where I legitimately have my sister and my friend on the podcast y'all this girl she thinks she's the backup option for my podcast. She's like yeah you just get me on when you'll have anybody. I said, that is not true. So many of you guys requested Billah to be back on the pie guest. And I'm so glad you did because it's going to be such a great conversation. And she'd be looking cute today, y'all.

If you're listening on the pie guest, you might want to hop on over to YouTube and see how cute this girl looking. You look great. Thank you, so do you. Thank you. Even Christian said she looks so cool, so I was like, Kay will now, I'm gonna be doing my bubble braid.

Pig tails, okay? Yeah, it almost matched me. Almost did, I know. Like, which was such a stern tuition, and if we would have shown up with the same thing, that would have been epic. And if my daily drills would have came in today, I would have worn that too.

Well, I almost wore a top that you had today, and I was like, if me and Sayy were the same shirt than that. I would have said, but Anne the Vowelbirds. Yes. Anne, we both got that new pink outfit. Next level. If it would have came in or this for me. I would have definitely been hopping in here. Looking like the whole peptope is small. Anyways, so glad that you're back on the podcast.

It's always a pleasure. You're not a backup. Thank you. You are priority. Thanks. Thank you. You are priority. You are and people ask you to come back and so we actually asked Instagram what they want to know about your life and we got so many great questions and so much just people asking about advice but also just fun stuff because you're so fun and so creative and you also are a well of wisdom. You have a very well-rounded package, Bella. Thank you. Okay, so first, tell us about all of your Grammy and Oscar reviews that you have been doing because you have the Oscars coming up.

No, I've got Met Gala coming up, which is my biggest. Oh, that's your biggest of the year. May. I think it's like early May, normally. And which year, the one who encouraged me was my backgallon last year. It was so funny.

It was so funny. And I was like, OK, then I'll keep doing this. But I love fashion. I always have love fashion. I like any pop culture, red carpet. That's my thing. I love watching the red carpets and all that kind of stuff. And then last year, I saw someone review the reviewed the red carp house, it'll be fun

and something that like no one really knows about me that I like that kind of stuff. And I reviewed it and everyone thought was so funny. It was the Grammy's, I think I did first. And then I did Met Gala and everyone was like, oh my gosh, you have to do Met Gala whenever said I did Met Gala, it was so funny. And then this year like, I got so many messages that are like,

please review the Grammy, please review the Grammy's. I was like, okay. And so I did it again. I did it like a week like, so I was like sick the day that it came out, but everyone is so funny. I don't even know why people are so much like. People don't like, a lot of people didn't know the side of you that's like your, um, savage side. Like, as Dalek called your rude but nice side Which can we just tell the story yeah, you can tell yeah, this is so funny. Okay, so it was like Valentine's Day win We were in like I was like in high school maybe 15 yeah, and like our dad didn't often get us like Valentine's Day gifts There's actually kind of like a rare thing I mean he's so sweet, but you know, I mean not always that he like gets his Valentine's Day gifts, there's actually kind of like a rare thing. I mean, he's so sweet, but you know, I mean, not always that he like gets his Valentine's

Day gifts. Well, he went all out this year and he decided to get his personalized ice cream for Valentine's Day. And so my mom's like, I think he sold it on a short tape. Yeah, he really did. So my mom's was like, strong and kind. It was like the name of her ice cream brand. And then mine was live original.

And then Bella's was called Rude, but nice. And we were like, what? Sadie and mom's books were named that. And so it was like, okay, strong kind of, I mean, live original. But then mine, it was like, no one's ever said that. No, it was like, ever said that about me. And it was just like so random.

It didn't even make so funny. Since it was like, why did you say that. And it was just like so random. It didn't even make so funny. Since it was like, why did you say that? And he's like, because that's like what she is. Like she's rude but nice. It's just so funny. And then everyone was like, yeah, she is. I was like, oh my gosh, okay, well, I need, I care to show.

Well, but it is funny. Like you are so nice, but you are very straightforward like straight up and honest and It like sometimes I can feel I think like now No, it's just you know honest, but I think when I was like 13 14 it may have been you know how to Season it was salt. Yeah, I did not wish sugar. Yeah with little sugar So now you know the season it but the Grammys and the MetGalat, it really showed that ribbon eyes.

And it was just the honest and great. The Grammys and the MetGalat, like give me the opportunity to share that side of me. And also like the side of me that like is like, okay, yes, I'm a Christian, but I love pop culture. Yes. Yes, I'm a Christian,

but also love red carpets. Yes. Whether it's like, I will censor it if there's some- In modesty, I will censor it, but I love looking at the red carpets, I'm gonna post to watching the Grammys, you know, like that's just, I feel like a part of,

it's in that I feel like sometimes you have to be so, like, you have to be all posting about like, you know, this, or you have to be all posting about like, you know, this or you have to be all posting about this, but it's like, no, like life is such a balance of all these different things. And so I like to share like different sides of me that maybe like other people wouldn't share like watching the Grammys, you know, or watching them at Gallon looking at the fashion on the carpet. Yes, it's just fun. So speaking of fashion, all these things, you also love art. And you are right now in school for art, which is really cool.

And some people might not know about you. And so where did that inspiration for all of your art come from? So it's actually kind of funny. I like never was into art as a kid or anything. When I was actually in kindergarten, my mom got like a card home from school, letter home from school that said, like, Bella cannot color in the lines. She's got to figure out how to color in the lines.

It's so bad or whatever. My mom was like, Bella, why don't you color in the lines? And I was like, I just don't like to. I don't like it like that. Like I didn't like to color in the lines. I was like, this is how it's meant to be. And mom was like, are you sure you're not just like missing? I was like, no, no, that's how I like it.

And she was like, okay. And you're not just like missing? I was like, no, no, no, that's how I like it. And she was like, okay. And that was just how I like to do it. And I just was never like very like, I don't know if I was like not artistic, but I wasn't just, I wasn't like, I wasn't just like, I love to draw on that kind of stuff. You were like into arts and crafts. Like even I remember like, weren't you really bad at cutting?

Or was that real? I was terrible at cutting. And like, I was just not very like crafty, I guess, as a kid. And then like I got to middle school. And I can't remember how it got started. I just started painting watercolor one day and like fell in love with it.

Started painting all the time. I created a city had like a little YouTube room and in her closet. And when she moved out of the house, I turned it into an art room. I started painting constantly. I love to paint. And mom, our mom, she graduated in art education.

And so she is an artist as well. And she's a beautiful artist. She paints some really awesome things, but she doesn't do it as much anymore. And she had the actually same experience as me. She was never into it as much anymore. And she had the actually same experience as me. She was never into Artists' child. She was like in like middle school high school, thought she was gonna be a doctor or something like that. And she took an art class and loved it.

And totally like switch her majors. Like I'm gonna major in art education, whatever. And Tuma, Margrimow was like, what art? And that was the same way my mom was with me. She was like, art, or she was like, really? I would have never thought you were gonna be interested in art, but that's what I love to do. And so that's kind of where my love of art grew.

And I feel like mom really like, really like helped me love art and appreciate art. Mom was like a big, big influence on me for art because she always, after she saw my interest in art, she started taking me to art museums and like introducing me to different artists. And every time we got a town together, we would go to whatever the art museum would be in that town.

And she would tell me all about the different artists that she knew about and different, I don't know, techniques and stuff like that. So that's kind of where my love of work begins. Like so good at being intentional with each kid because she has never taken me to any art. He introduced me to, I'm like, who? I feel like this is the whole new world, but she's so good about like knowing what each of us are individually interested in and then like peaking our interests in that and teaching us about that.

And so I think that's so cool. Yeah. And then right now, so what year are you in school? I'm a senior. You're a senior student. I'm a student. You are close. And you have been doing a lot of artwork.

So what's some of this year that you've done that you're super proud of? So actually today, I just turned in a mandala design, which is a type of art that's a radial piece. So it's a circle that you do based on, they do it a lot in therapy. And so it's basically like tells the story of your life through art and through color.

And so the class I'm taking right now is called color design or color theory. And so it's all about color and how to use color to most accentuate whatever you're feeling or thinking. And so I did this piece of art, some acknowledged design today. And it was about kind of like a macro view of life as a Christian. And so starts out with like these bright pastel pinks and violets and red violet. And all pretty tints of those colors in the middle and then it goes out to like

really saturated blue and blue green and green and Then it goes into like these deep violets and red violets and blue greens and then from there it presses out and actually separates from the radial design to these little like is out and actually separates from the radial design to these little like bulbs of really bright colors and those are to simulate symbolize heaven and so it's basically birth, life, death and then heaven. Wow. That was so cool. So I put them in that today. I love that.

Yeah, sometimes after a long day of podcasting and work, the last thing you want to do is go home and then cook a full meal, especially if you have to go to the grocery store and get home. And, you know, I'm just trying to spend time with honey. I don't want to cook, but home chef has made it so much easier because I can actually have a good dinner and the routine is a lot easier. They have huge selections, delicious meals that ship right to your door. Home chef offers 30 unique recipes each week, so you and your family will never get bored

with the same old recipes over and over again. You choose what works best for you, and they send all the fresh ingredients you need, even the butter, and the seasoning it is literally so easy. Plus they send an easy to follow recipe car, which is probably my favorite thing that they send, which makes cooking a breeze, because I am a visual learner, so that's very helpful. There's no need to be a pro chef because if you have home chef, they get you covered. Christian and I like to have well-rounded meals, so we love that home chef lets us customize our proteins and sides to fit our nutrition goals. It's a great way to say healthy, but so eating good and not having to go figure out all these

different meals to make on your own. They also have meals for special dietary needs, like vegetarian, keto, gluten free options, or if you're just trying to watch your carbs and calories, you can let them know that as well. We've gotten all kinds of great dinners from home shop. We've had like great meals like steak and potato and asparagus. We've had really nice chicken dishes that we've tried that honestly, I would just not even think to make in the house. We've just had so much fun getting to experiment

and also feel like real chefs as we cook all these like great meals, even though we had it done the easiest way possible. But if you're seriously pressed for time or you just had a crazy day and don't feel like spending any time in the kitchen, home chef has even quicker and easier options. They got 15 minute recipes of and ready options and microwave will meals that you can just pop in easy cleanup, no mess, no stress. So who doesn't

love that? It's a great option if you don't really feel like cooking. For a limited time only, go to HomeChef.com slash woe. for 75% off your first box. It's pretty huge friends. Don't miss it. Go to homeshf.com slash woe for 75% off that's WHOA homeshf.com slash woe. So do you feel like you have in some ways been able to see God through art and through what you've been doing. Like what has it taught you about just your own life as a Christian, anything? I think that it's taught me a lot about just like

slowing down like when you do art, you literally like it's got to have to slow down and like, you can't paint in a hurry, you can't. Yeah. Like the piece that I just did, the mandala design, it's all paper. And so it's all different pieces of paper. It was over 260 pieces that I cut out and glued onto a piece of paper.

And so it takes so much time. It probably, Jacob asked me yesterday, how long it took me. I think it took me close to 20 hours. Wow. And so it was like so much just like sitting and being still. And I think that back in high school when I did our allot and painted up constantly, it took me off of my phone.

It took me out of life. It took me to another place and just focused on what I'm doing with my hands. And so I think that that's the biggest thing that Arts taught me, just like slow down. And like really be like in tune with yourself and like with God and I think that in those moments when you can just slow down and work with your hands you can really like process through a lot in your mind. That's so cool. I love that. Now I want to go paint.

I'm going to go to a hobby, a hobby, a hobby. But it's to paint. It's how we get paid by numbers. Do what? You need to paint my numbers. What is that? You don't know what my numbers are. No. It's like basically like, it looks like a, Oh, and it has the number. It has a number and you paint that color

and it turns into a big, awesome painting, but it's basically just like a guided painting. Oh, I do need to do that. You should do that. Because I'm really good at, like, looking at something and relaying it on the page, but I'm not good at like, see, I was opposite. I was like coloring in the lines,

good at like cutting stuff like that, but I don't have the creativity that you have in art where you can look at a blank piece of paper and make it something beautiful. I will look at a blank piece of paper and be like, oh shoot, how do you do that? You're a really good-ass like, copying. But if I say it, I can copy it.

You're really good at that. Yes, I can. I'm not that. I'm not that. And recreate it. But I cannot just, I mean, thus far in my life, I have not been able to see a blank piece of paper and create. But I think that that's like something God's really gifted you and that's really cool.

So we got to talk about relationships because you obviously got married at a young age. And a lot of people are really interested in knowing just your best piece of advice and getting married young. But even before that, let's just talk about you and Jacob started dating and I announced it on this podcast. Yes, you did.

And you just brought me on the podcast. I was like, Bella, did you ever like talk to about you and Jacob's like start to your relationship on this podcast and she's like, well, the day after we started dating, you said it on the podcast. And you were like, we can tell people you have a boyfriend, right? I was like, well, I guess you already did. So you're right. Well, okay, I will say though, when you all started dating, like day one, you were like,

I'm gonna marry this person. So that's what I wanna know. When you started dating Jacob, like what was it about him? Cause you dated a lot of other guys that you were like, I'm gonna marry him and it's not gonna be far out. Like we're gonna get married young. I don't know.

People ask me this all the time. I'm like, I don't really know. Like if there was people who are always like, how do you know it? He's the one, how do you know it? I'm like, I don't really know, like if there was, people were always like, how do you know it? He's the one, how do you know it? I'm like, I don't really know how I knew. It was just like a, I don't know if it was like intuition or a feeling, but it was like, I just knew that first day,

like, yep, this is it. And it just felt safe, it felt comfortable. And it didn't feel like fly-dead at all, or like it was going to like go away. It just felt like, okay, this is safe. And like Jacob hadn't like asked me to be his girlfriend for like a week until after we'd already been like going out and dating. He didn't ask me to like like be his girlfriend or anything. But like he didn't have to because I didn't really like everything that there was going to be a time without, you know,

it was just like, I just knew. Jacob told me he'd loved me like a few days after we started dating. Before he even, we even like, say we were boyfriend and girlfriend, he just, it was the, I don't know how to explain it. It was just like, you know, our friends were so long before it too. But I think about even me and Krishen, like, it was kind of similar in the sense that like we had actually been talking for a couple months and actually even gone on some dates and we're dating. And then he was like, hey, if people ask me if you're my girlfriend, can I say yes?

Because that's where I was like, oh yeah, that's what we are. And then it was one of those things where it's not necessarily that it was like, oh I know he is the one. It was just that I never thought about us breaking up. Like it was, like it never happened. You never were either like questioning and getting like, you didn't need to say. Like, yes, and I think like so many times it's like,

we need to, what is it? DTR, like determine the relationship. Like we have to do TR and we have to do this and you have to do all these things. But I feel like when it's the right person, you don't have to do those things because those things just speak for themselves. It's like, yeah, of course we're a boyfriend and girlfriend.

Of course, I love you. Of course, I don't think about breaking up with you. It just feels like there's an ease to it. And I think too, a lot of people say, you need to wait until you see them in every situation. With their family at church and all this stuff, and like, I knew his family. I'd spent all of quarantine with his family. Like, I knew I'd been to church with him before we'd gone out with his like friends. So like, it was like I knew him and so many different areas of life that like dating him wasn't like

a super new thing. It wasn't like, oh well now I gotta go meet his family and I gotta do this and like I think say if I would have started dating him and I hadn't met his family, I don't know if I would have been so quick to like, we're gonna get married if I don't know his family. If I don't know, like, where he's from, you know, that kind of stuff, but he's from literally a mile from where we live and like literally.

Our house and our parent's house and his parent's house was like literally less Our parents house and his parents house was like literally less than them all the way from each other. So I'm like, I just like, it was just easy. So. And I knew Jacob whenever he was like really young and had like a punk rock hairstyle. And he was like, you know, what did he look like back in the day?

He had like funny hair. Just to be rehearsal. Yeah, just to be rehearsal. I was just a little like cute little kid, you know, like little chubby cheeks. And then I saw Jacob during quarantine before I started dating. And I was like, Jacob has grown. Oh, Jacob is looking cute. And that's when Bella started noticing too. But I was like, just me. I have seen. I have, I'm seeing what you're seeing, okay?

And so then you got married and how old were you? 19? 18. 18. I was like going to be 19 like in two months. Oh my God. So you were 18. Was that scary or did you feel confident?

I think I felt confident and I didn't really think about it at all being so crazy. Our parents got married young or a brother got married young. Like, it wasn't super crazy to me. And then I think like, literally like we got married and I posted it on an Instagram, went on my honeymoon and like, people magazine posted whatever, like that picture of us and said, Bella Robertson gets married at 18 and like,

all of the comments were like terrible. Like, oh my gosh, this is terrible and all this kind of stuff. And then all the comments on my page, there, oh my gosh, this is terrible and all this kind of stuff. And then all the comments on my page, there was like hundreds of bad comments about it. And then I was like, wait, what? And I was like, I didn't even think about that. And then I think then I kind of got scared.

Like not scared that like I made a bad decision, but scared that like, oh my gosh, was this really crazy? Like was this so crazy? Does everyone think that this is crazy? But like obviously like none of my family no one knew me thought that. But like in my mind I was like, oh my gosh, like everyone think that this is crazy?

Like is this crazy, you know, but obviously, ultimately I was very confident in my actions. You had seen like, mom and dad got married at 18 and 19. Generally can marry Kate, we're 18 and 19. Two mama and two mama were 17, right? And 18 or 18 or 19. Generally, Camille K, we're 18 and 19. Two mama and two mama were 17, right? And 18 or 18 and 19. 18 and 19, Memo K and Peppa Phil were so young.

Like 16 and she like got pregnant. So like we've seen all these relationships in our life. I got married at 18 and have been married for 50 years. You know, like, I mean, as far as well, can people feel it and too, I want to, but and then our parents have been married for about over many years, 30 years. And so, like we've seen it work

and it's not because like it's easy, but no relationship is all about your commitment. It's not about, oh, what age you are, it's like what level of commitment do you have and what's your faith, you know, I mean ultimately I think that's what comes down to. But were you, so you got married young, you'll be married for almost two years and so for people out there listening who have got married young, what would you say the best piece of young married devices?

Okay, I was thinking about this in the card here. And I think that I actually heard it the other day on Jenny Allen's podcast, and I was like, that is it, that is what it is. Like that is, like I don't often think that like, there is just like one best, like there's something that like, you know, one statement that's like, you know, but this statement, I was like, wow, that's so true, but it was like,

don't let your husband be every single thing in your life. So like, you have your husband, who's your husband and your best friend, but then you also have a best friend, a person to work out with. Yeah. Person to go to the grocery store with, a person to do this. And like, you have different people in your life to fill different spots in your life. And I feel like a lot of times young people get married and then they're like they depend on their spouse for literally everything and they like isolate themselves so much. And I think that community when you're young and married is so, so important. And like we have so many like great couple friends that we do everything with. And I think like even just a year and a half ago when me and Jacob first got married and we didn't have as much community, I did rely on Jacob for a lot of things. And he relied on me for a lot of things. But I think now that we're kind of like,

obviously we're a year and a half and we're so mature now. But it's like, I feel like now we're a year and a half and we have some great friends. And it's like me and our friend Grace, we work out together. So like when I go workout with grace he goes worked out with Christian and we're like Totally fine like we're not relying on the other person. We don't need each other when I when he goes out of town I stayed the night with you and we spend the night the whole weekend together I'm not worried about yeah Angry with him for going out of town. I'm happy to be with you, you know It's like I think that that was like a big shift

in our relationship. Yeah. Because now I feel like I'm not so rely on him to be with me at all times or be there. Like, I'm okay if he has to go out of town for the weekend or if he wants to go hang out with his guy friends. I have girlfriends to hang out with.

So I think that community is really important. That's very true. And I think that like, community is important in every aspect of life, but in that, in marriage, it's really important. And I think that community is important in every aspect of life, but in that in marriage, it's very important. So, Christian and I try to set a good example in our family of just being active and staying active and honey is definitely an active

little girl. We are hoping her little sister is too. Even though sometimes I'm like, you know, we could just chill a little bit more. It's fun to be active. It's fun to be outside. It's fun to run around. And part of being active is saying healthy enough to be that way. And that's why we love AG1 by athletic greens. We're a big advocate of them. You've probably heard us talk about it. AG1 was designed with ease in mind so you can live healthier and better without having to do a lot. And that's one of the things that Christian loves about it.

He loves a product that makes him hit healthy goals that are also just really easy and attainable considering there's so many other things in life that we're thinking about. He immediately noticed a difference in his energy and focused throughout the day when he started taking A.G.1 and he even got his parents hooked on it, several of his friends hooked on it. And it's really an awesome thing to get hooked on because it has 75 vitamins and minerals in just one scoop so what's not to love about that? AG1's been a game changer for our family and I can't wait for you to try it out and if

it's not for you there's a 90 day money back guarantee but we know you're going to love it but that's just awesome that they put that cushion in there for you. Another easy way that makes us feel so much better is Vitamin D and Vitamin D 3 plus K2 drops by Athletic Greens are awesome. It's super easy to take. I mean, literally it's just a little syringe. You can put it in your drink,

you can put it on your snack, you can take it straight up. Vitamin D just makes you feel so much better. It's good for your bones, for your teeth, for your heart and every one of these bottles has 600 servings. So this thing is gonna last you a long time. You can keep it in your purse. I actually keep it in my desk.

It's just super simple to take out and get you some vitamin D. So take control of your health today and give AG1 a try. You can get a free one year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com slash woe. That's athleticgreens.com slash woe and check it out today. And also like Mama always says, don't put your happiness in someone else.

Like they are not responsible for all of your happiness. And if you put that expectation on them, they will disappoint you because yeah, if Jacob wants to go hunt and you're like, depend on him, like he has to be there, then it's like makes you have a terrible weekend, but you're like, it's okay he has to be there, then it's like, makes you have a terrible weekend, but you're like, it's okay, I'll go to the city's house and we'll hang out.

We have so much fun. Or I love how our friend group, every time we get together, the girls hang out and the guys hang out, and it's just like fun. And we're like, why don't we resort back to being middle schoolers again? It's like girls and guys,

but it's like because we all have friendships. Yes, and we're not so, we don't need someone by our side constantly. I think that that's where sometimes it can get a little unhealthy, say like, I needed to go to the grocery store. If I couldn't go to the grocery store by myself and I had to have Jacob go to the grocery store

every single time I went, then like, we would never have groceries because I would always be waiting around on him, you know? But like, I'm fine to go to the grocery store by myself, but if I want to, I'll call you and say, do you want to go to the grocery store with me? We can go together or whatever and we'll go together and get all of our stuff, you know, and like just having other friends to do life with is so important because you do life with your spouse, but you need other people.

That's so true. That's so good. That will help relationship so much, much friends if you get that because the the longer you put all that pressure on someone else, you're just going to be disappointed. But when you, you know, have community other people in your life, freeze y'all both up to be who y'all are and be the best versions of who y'all are. And then when you come back together, it's so fun, you know, and you tell your stories and do all the things and it's great. So I love that advice. So speaking of friendship, a lot of people also had

friendship questions and I'm just gonna read this one exactly how it is and it says, how to break away or create distance from friendships that are not leading you closer to God. So you mentioned now we have a great community but there's some times in our life where we have it. And so in those times when you were in friendships that weren't leading you close to God,

how do you kind of separate without hurting feelings or is that even possible? Yeah, I'm not sure that it's possible to completely not hurt any feelings, especially when someone doesn't feel like mutual about the situation, but I do think that there is just a layer that is like you're just not always going to be friends with someone forever. And I think that that's something that we've learned a lot is like that We love our friends and we're so appreciative of our friends and we hope to be friends for a long time But we also are going in different phases of life and when life goes in different directions Sometimes we shouldn't just fight and fight and fight to keep those relationships.

Sometimes we can just love each other from afar. And I think that that's something that I've had to learn a lot. And I think that I have learned and it's something that I'm comfortable to be like, it's okay that we're not friends. Yes. We're not as close friends anymore. So that we're not always mean something bad happen.

Yes. Just because distance happens. It doesn't mean it's bad. And I think it's kind of goes back to your first piece of advice with the relationship stuff. It's like not putting a expectation on somebody to like have to be your best friend every season of life. Like things change.

Yeah. Times change. Relationship size has changed. When you get married, friendship looks different. When you have a kid, friendship looks different. Friendship is always going to change a little bit. But I think giving people the benefit of the doubt and saying, hey, they might not talk to me as much anymore, but that doesn't necessarily mean they love me less. Maybe it's just not good for this. And I think just being honest, I think that if you're feeling like this friend

has kind of like left me high and dry, then I think just being honest and saying like, hey, is there anything like wrong or like did I hurt you? Or like is there something that I did that upset you? And then that gives them the ability to say, no, not at all. I've honestly just been in a really busy season of life. I've started a new school

I've started this and I just honestly haven't had the space to do that right now or hang out right now or something like that and I think that From that side of it that's the way approaching and I think there's also honesty on the other side if someone says to you like Hey, where have you been? You haven't talked to me months, you can say like, I'm sorry that I haven't been the best friend to you during the season, but I have had, you know, and then I think that you can kind of be honest both ways.

I think you have to be honest in saying that I'm feeling like I'm kind of left out. You also have to be honest and saying I'm sorry I just don't have that space right now, you know I think honesty is like one of the biggest gifts you can give someone in a friendship because I'll always hold my friends You know you don't ever have to worry about our relationship because if there is ever something I would be the first to tell you you know like if if there's ever something that's going on if there's something I'm bothered by or I feel distanced and it, or whatever, I will tell you.

And I think letting people know that upfront is such a gift because then you don't have to stress out, what are they thinking, do you think this, do you think that? They didn't come to this, they didn't respond to that, blah, blah. And it's like, it eliminates all that questioning. And it's just like, okay, she will be honest with me.

So I'm gonna take her at her word. So that's so good. Another question about friendship was really good. And it said, how to love a friend well who's in a toxic relationship. And this is a really hard thing to watch a friend go through. Have you had times in your life where you've had to watch that?

And hey, we've been the friend too. Yes. And I think that, again, like I just said, being honest is the most important thing you can do. And I think when I have a friend, one of my best friends, went through a season of just dating and dating and dating, like all these people over and over again, just kept one guy to the next. And I think that what I did during that season was I was very honest, but I didn't make

it too serious because I think that, because obviously, like at the time she was dating a bunch of people, but she wasn't doing anything bad. She wasn't like, you know, doing anything that was, like, detrimental. She was just dating and a lot of the people I didn't think were the people she was gonna be with forever.

And I think just by like assessing the situation, realizing, okay, like, she's dating this guy, it's not the great, I don't really think this is the guy for her, but she's not doing anything wrong. So just like being honest, but kind of playful with it, like, kind of like messing around with her, like, oh, you're really doing this or whatever, like, okay, whatever, you know, and just kind of joking around,

but like telling her how I feel, but I think that like, okay, whatever, you know, and just kind of joking around, but like telling her how I feel, but I think that like, just like not, I think that I really wanted to be careful in that season not to push her away by saying that, you shouldn't date this person or like try to control her. I think that during seasons of your life when someone's in toxic relationships, I think you have to try to be honest

and kind without being controlling or like sounding like you're trying to make them do a certain thing. I think you just have to be honest, Sam. You don't want to push them away, but you also want to be honest because I think that not being honest is not being loving, you know, being honest is being loving, but there's a way to be honest and be loving at the same time. And for them to feel loved by you, even in your honesty, was I the friend? No.

I was like, are you talking about me? It gets up, thank you. No, that would be me. It actually wasn't, but when I started to say that, I thought, I guess this kind of pertains to you too. But I wasn't really thinking. I was actually thinking about someone else. Yes.

Well, I was laughing because I was like, well, I joke, and I was like, we've been that person too. And I was like, oh, wait, I think she don't want to be. Yeah, they got one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no's been pushed away by people, like, who has pushed people away because they've been to, like, they've, I've dated someone for a few months and like, I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just kind of like, you know, seeing, like, getting to know this person was the person for me, but I was just getting to know them. And I think that the people who were so hard on me and told me like, this is so wrong, you shouldn't be doing this, you should get them done, like you should

break up with them. And we're so hard on me. I think those are the people who have pushed away the most because I was like, just let me figure this out. I'm going to figure it out, you know? And eventually I would month later, I would figure it out and be like, yeah, this isn't the person for me. And I think that some people, and I think obviously you should know your friend, like, what kind of friend this is, yeah. And kind of obviously see where they are in the situation. If they're really deep in it, then you may have to, you know, have an intervention. But I think like, if your friend is just like kind of, you know, getting to know people

and maybe you don't approve of it, I think that you just have to be careful to not try to control someone. If you are anyone like me, I did not like to be controlled. I didn't like for someone to tell me what to do or tell me everything I was doing wrong. And a lot of things I just had to figure out on my own. And so I think that sometimes you have to just kind of know your place and to be a friend and be loving but not push people away. Celebrate the 4th of July with Academy Sports & Outdoors. Take up to $100 off-grills.

Get up to $400 off-goals, and Nike Tees starting at $24.99. Shop Academy Sports & Outdoors deals in July 4th. Exclusions and restrictions are flawed to see Academy.com slash disclaimers for details. This episode is brought to you by Sold the Genero. As Sold the Genero, touch isn't just for screens. Physical connection is so essential to how we communicate. It's infused in everything we offer. Since Sewer is a festival, PDA is guaranteed.

Textures are so luscious, skin is huggable. Get into a Sold the Genero state of mind. Receive 10% off on your first order on Sold the Genero.com. Plus free shipping with the code SoldaGenero10. And that's the time where you really begin to pray for people and intercede for people because there is only so much that you can do and like a thing of the day,

Lord has changed their heart, they have to go through it. And I'll be back in my life and I'm like, that would be so hard for like even like mom to watch me go through some of the things that I went through, put myself in a situation that I put myself in, but mom didn't like over control and try to like force me to get out of relationships that I should have been out of. I mean she suggested and she spoke truth, but I was like not in the place to listen. And I'm like, man, that would be so hard for a mom to have to watch that.

But at the same time, I'm like, I year to go through those things to become who I am. And so part of me is really thankful for going through those things even though it was hard. And so keeping that in mind for other people is like, look, I do not think this is right for them, but they are gonna have to make the decisions that they are gonna make in their life. And I can pray for them and I can speak truth

when I want to or feel led to by the end of the day it's their decision to stay relieved. And so yeah, I think at the end of the day, it's their decision to stay relieved. And so yeah, I think it's important to that you like realize that like they so need you as a friend and like if you're going to just be so hard on them all the time, then they're going to be in this not so great relationship alone with no friend, you know, and I think that you would rather be with them and still they're listening to them, then feel like they can't even talk to you about it, you know. You'd rather be the friend

that they can talk to and still be honest but be loving in your honesty and not so controlling. It's good. Okay, so we've hinted at, you know, parts of our story and stuff, and a lot of people actually ask what your testimony is. And I'm interested in hearing those, cause obviously I know your life, I know your story, but what do you feel like is kind of like your testimony, things that you walk through that have brought you closer to God? So, I feel like it's weird. I feel like I'm literally 20 years old,

but I feel like as you get years past your, you know, like when you come to Christ, I feel like you start to forget like what, it, what all happened, you know, like I'm kind of like, when you asked me that earlier, I was like, what is my test for? It's been so long, you know, since all that happened. So I'm like, I don't really fully remember every single thing. But we were talking about earlier, just like people who kind of feel like that, they may not have the most crazy testimony or they may have a boring testimony. And I feel like my testimony is kind of somewhere

in the middle of that, I feel like I grew up, like loving God and middle school, high school, middle school and early high school. I like super passionate about God loved, Jesus loved the church and everything like that. And I had a boyfriend who I loved so much, and we broke up, and I was so sad. And he was a great guy, like, great cushion guy.

And I was so sad. And I was like, why am I so sad? And I was like, you know, I think that I just like, I've been living, you know, this way for so long and I'm so sad and it's not working out for me. So I'm gonna go try and live a different way. And so when we broke up, I was like, well, I guess I'm gonna try something else.

Like that didn't work. So then I started kind of like just getting to know other types of people. And I started kind of getting into like a crowd that I wasn't familiar with, just kind of like just getting to know other types of people and I started kind of getting into like a crowd that I wasn't familiar with just kind of like more like wilder people or party people and start hanging out with them and kind of like just seeing a whole different side of life that I'd never seen before. I was not sheltered but I was more, you know, I was in kind of a Christian bubble and I kind of started seeing other types of people and being friends with those types of people and stuff like that. And I kind of started going down a bad path, started dating people that I shouldn't have been dating and this is where all

that comes in, where everyone was like, you shouldn't be doing this. And I was like, I just need to figure this out on my own. And that's kind of what I did. I dated a few people that weren't great guys. And I kind of like got through that. And I was like, you know, and when the last one broke up with me, I was like, you know, I don't think this works either. And so I kind of just took a step back and was like, you know, like that's not, that was not it.

And I think that it took me kind of like seeing what was out there to say like Yeah, that's not what I want and then I started going to a youth group and I Loved the youth groups I went to I never went to a youth group that I like really really loved before and I went and was having so much fun And I met Kaylee who's now my sister-in-law and she started to like mentor me and hang out with me and I just like loved every second I got to swim with her because it was um she's like giving me like great advice and also just like loving me through kind of working it out. I was still figuring out what I was kind of how to get back into this after I kind of went a different way. kind of how to get back into this after I kind of went a different way. And she just loved me through my mess of trying to figure it all out and loved me through my kind of, like I was still in that place where I was like, upset over these breakups, but I knew they

weren't for me. I didn't, I knew that these people weren't for me, but I was still upset and kind of like teetering on the thought of going back to those relationships and she was like, no, like this is not for you and you have so much better for you and everything like that. And I think just getting in good community again, I just started going to youth group, making great friends and the church and everything like that. And my life really turned around just like being around the different types of people. I feel like being around people who were not following Jesus was really pulling me down a bad path and was really like making me feel like so insecure and like so just like anxious and stuff like that. And then

when I started going to eat the grouping, getting to know like all these great people and like having a lot of girlfriends and like having Kaylee as a mentor and stuff like that, I started to just be like, wow, like I didn't realize that like people, I started to just be like, wow, I didn't realize that people, I honestly thought like, I didn't know people in this town were like, this like, like, love got this much. And so I think like it just took me getting out of my cup and I did not want to go to youth group,

I was like, I did not want to go to youth group, that just not something to me at all. And I went and like, loved it, had so much fun and like, just being around those types of people was really encouraging and loved it, had so much fun and liked just being around those types of people was really encouraging and really like Do a lot for me just to be around people who were kind of had the same mindset as me

Really changed my life that's awesome. That's so cool Well, I think it's so cool because like you know, you mentioned How some people are like oh, I don't really have a good testimony or I have a born testimony But it says I think in Revelation that you know the enemy is defeated by the blood of the lamb and the power of our testimony. So whether your testimony is dramatic and detailed and years of pain, your testimony is a little bit shorter than that.

And it's like, you know, how do you use a high school or I want a little bit off the beaten path? And then went to youth group and my life changed just simply by the community and by a mentor speaking truth into my life and seeing what God had to offer. Like it doesn't matter like what the details are. The main detail that matters is you were once dead and now you're alive. Like you went from blind to being able to see like that Jesus Christ and the blood of Jesus saved your life that before

God like you didn't have hope you were anxious you were insecure you were heartbroken and then because of the power of God because the resurrection of the cross like now I have hope now I feel you know now I have this awesome community and these people and I'm a family and so like that's the power of the testament the testimonies power isn't based off of your mistakes. The testimonies like power is based on of Jesus rising from the dead, like being raised from the dead. And so I think it's so important. Like all of us who are listening to be like confident in our testimonies. Because I could say the same thing. And in some ways you might say, oh, that's a bit of a boring testimony. But to me, I'm like, no, it's not boring

because I was dead now I'm alive because Jesus Christ had my life because I was an anxious insecure person who was messed up in relationships. And now I am a confident, bold woman who preaches the gospel and has a family who loves the Lord. Like, that's crazy and only because

My life took a turn for Jesus and so I love your story I think it's awesome and like I saw you then I see you now and I see a new person and I think like that's the That's the power of the testimony. That's the miracle that you are walking and that's really cool to see and super proud of you And you really did plug into that youth group and you and Kaylee are also not your sisters and how cool is that? That's so crazy. That writes a good story. He does. He writes a good story.

Let me see if there's anything else on here that we need to talk about. Let's see. I feel like you really tackled it all, Bella. Everybody asked such great questions. Obviously, I had like 15 questions and we only hit the the highlights Some things people want to know or how you decorate your house and all the fun things because you're just so fun and cute And so if you want to know more about Bella you got to make sure you're following her on instagram Western's Romano Bella Robmeo

Bella Robmeo on Instagram check her out. She's cute. She's fun. She's fashionable. She's faithful. She's all the things. She's a great follow. Bella, I love you. Thanks for having the podcast. I love you too. Thanks for having me. you