WHOA That's Good Podcast - How to Stop Bringing Past Hurts Into New Relationships | Sadie Robertson Huff & Christine Caine

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

Christine Caine and Sadie get into a passionate discussion about why dwelling on the past — the good and the bad — is the wrong way to keep moving forward into your future. Christine talks about her early childhood years filled with abuse, abandonment, neglect, and betrayal — and how she's had to deal with all of it at different times in her life as she got married, had two girls, and started her life of ministry, speaking, and writing. Christine shares a lesson she overheard in motorcycle driving lessons: Wherever you look, your body will follow — and she expands on the truth of that idea not only when driving her Vespa and making a turn, but how focusing on Christ should be the ONLY thing Christians focus on as they navigate life. If we linger somewhere else, we'll eventually go there, so fight off the distractions and make Jesus the focus! If you don't learn to fix your eyes on Jesus, you're going to get stuck! And if you don't deal with the past, the past will deal with you. Christine's book, "Don't Look Back," is available now. https://helixsleep.com/sadie — Get up to 20% OFF AND 2 free pillows! https://liberty.edu/Sadie — Get your application fee WAIVED when you start your future with Liberty University today! https://www.kiwico.com — Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping with code SADIEROB! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

y'all the weather is getting warmer which is my favorite time of year. I love to go for a tennis, go and walk some honey, take a cabo out, and with all that running around during the day, I'm so thankful that I've got an amazing mattress like Helix Sleep mattress to go crash on at night. Everybody is original and that includes how we sleep as well. And that's why Helix has so many options to choose from all designed for different sleep habits. The Helix Sleep quiz only takes about two minutes to complete, so you can find out what Helix Model is best for you. Christian and I had so much fun taking the quiz

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This is their best offer yet and it won't last long with helix better sleep can start now. So go to helixleap.com slash satie. We're gonna talk a little bit more about helix later on in the show. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, What's up? Well, that's good fam. Happy Wednesday, everybody. Y'all, I know you're going to be so excited for today. We have one of everyone's favorites, including my own, back on the piecast today with a new

book, which she has. One of the first copies of you got to show it. We have Christine Kane on the piecast with new book don't look back. Hey Sadie I am so pumped to be on here with you. I'm so pumped you got it can you give everybody the peak of the book? Okay here I can you're getting like oh yes it is looking good it looks so good which this podcast will come out I think right as the book comes out so yeah many people will have seen it about this point, but so excited for the book. And just so excited to be talking to you here.

We were just talking before. We pressed record. And I'm like, what's new in your life? And as always, every time you ask Christine came, what's new in her life? It's like, oh, I just got back from five countries. And it's like so cool. So you guys have been on the go-go. Yeah, we have.

And also my eldest Catherine, she turned 21 and she's studying in London at the moment. So part of this trip is we got to stop in London to see her now youngest. And we had a great 21st for her as well. And then of course did all the other stuff that we do in Greece and Bulgaria and Israel and France and Ukraine and Poland.

So it was awesome. It's awesome. I know I told her before. I said, okay, so our next plan in life is to stop what we're doing and follow y'all for a little while and just learn from y'all how you do all the things you do with two girls. And now, you know, they're older and they graduated once in college, but how you did it so well. I just learned so much from you and it's so fun. And so I'll have to get all that advice later. We have a lot to talk about, but also I have to just say, I'm so excited that I have finally found a way to get the cane family to come to Louisiana this summer.

We are so excited that you're coming for comfort. I am fired up. What you're doing with the young women, Sadie, it gives me so much joy. And to get to pour into them, are you kidding me? I mean, this is what I live for. At the end of the day. So it's awesome. I remember a conversation we had a couple of years ago

where I said you need to come to Louisiana and you were like, well, aren't there like bugs there that are like attack you? And I was just like, I'm like, hey, this is an overgating. So just like I'm like hey if you can go to the Ukraine and Greece all the folks you get you can come to Louisiana and brave some bugs Louisiana is my husband's favorite state in all of North America so please look forward to coming and him and Christian I think I'm not going to be

hanging out at the women's conference as much as they're gonna be doing Boy things trust me Christian already has an itinerary for them because they formed a little romance when we so we randomly ran into Nick and Chris in Copenhagen which we were both at the same event in Norway we all flew to Copenhagen like not together and we found out we're all there and She's there with their kids. We have honey with us. And so we decided to meet up for dinner. And then I don't even know whose idea it was. I think it was Nick's.

And Nick was talking to Christian about brother and a lot of Jacob. He's like, we should totally go jump in the ocean tonight at midnight. And the ocean there is freezing. And Nick comes and picks them up. And midnight, they go jump in the ocean in their underwear. I'm like, what are your sales light? What is your sales friendship? I do want to say, since I'm on the public report, I was asleep in the hotel room. You all do what you want to do.

Yeah, we were like, yeah, y'all can do that. I'm not participating. So I can't wait for you out of here. Also, before we get into the book, I just thought this was really cool because I saw you at passion, I saw you at if, but we haven't talked about the as very revival and just some of the stuff that's been happening around the country. And when I saw that happen, I could not stop thinking about your message that passion where you talked about learning to linger. And I wanted to ask you about that in reference to just the revivals that have taken place based off of what you said.

How much of that do you feel like really was from the posture of lingering in the presence of God? Because I thought that was a really cool display of what you said. Totally. And you know, say the year before, so 2022, I started to see snippets of this all around the world. And there's so many things happening, I understand, but I would like put on social media, I'd been all these random countries and go, there's something happening, people are lingering in the presence of God, it seems like something is stirring and people

like Chris, you're just an optimist. You know, things are just like all going downhill. I'm like, no, I think God is really starting to meet with people in a very powerful and tangible way. That's what made me, I think, preach that sermon at passion. It was like yours. I've been around 35 years, ministering, especially to college students and students. That's been a big part of my ministry for the whole 35 years.

And I know in my own life, I've been blessed to see revivals in my lifetime, truly from Australia and different pockets around the world. And the key has always been not a system, not a schedule, but people that are hungry to just linger in the presence of God with no agenda, other than just one God for himself. So passion, it seemed like everyone's so resonated and in a way, all of us preached a version of a message like that. Basically, we were saying nothing else matters, only God and His presence. And I think that came across the whole conference, Then to see two months later on university campuses and of

course, Asprey and then you hear it in different campuses around America. And also in Europe, I have friends that have been texting me and just now I've come back from Europe. There are pockets everywhere where people are going. We've had 24 hour pre meetings. We've been in prayer eight hours a night, every night straight. Like it's just, I've never been more excited in my whole Christian life to see God doing something so awesome in our generation.

Yeah, come on. That's so cool to hear you say, especially because you mentioned being around in ministry for 35 years and so to hear you say that is no small thing. And one thing I actually wrote down to talk to you about, and it was something you talked about in your book, I wanna go find it. Yeah, you said as we age, we do not need to buy into the narrative that our best days are behind us.

And when I read that, I was like, you know what, you live that out so beautifully because I've heard you say at multiple occasions your age. And there's a lot of people who are your age or older who don't wanna say their age. It's a weird thing. It's like once you get past 40, no one asks me how old I am.

And I don't really know why that is. I don't really know what to think, but I love how you own your age, but I also love how you're not like sitting here being like, oh, back them, back them, back them, but you're like actually like what's ahead of us is really cool. So I want to ask you about how do you own your age

and any advice to people out there who fear the next birthday coming up for whatever reason. Yeah, you know, that's a real question because I know your audience is predominantly young. So I have a 21 year old daughter and I have a 17 year old and I remember when Catherine hit 19. She had this existential crisis and I was a 17 year old and I remember when Catherine hit 19. She had this existential crisis and I was like, what? I have this milder, just like, mom, this is my last year as a teenager.

And she's like, I can't believe I'm going to be 20. Like she was, I was for her, her last year as a teenager. And I was trying to laugh and I was trying to be very sympathetic and just go, yeah, I can't know. This must be a big deal. And here is the deal, I'm going, Catherine, it just gets better. Number one, I'm going to be 57 in September. People go, why do you say your age? I'm like, honey, at my age, I'm glad for every day. There are people that never, you know, my dad never made it to 57. My dad died at 52.

So I'm like, are you kidding me? I've already lived five years longer than my dad did. So I remember when I lost my dad, I was 19 when my dad died. And my dad died when he was 52. And I remember thinking even then, every day that I live beyond 52, I'm going to be so thankful to God for that. So why number one would I complain? I'm not buying into the narrative of this culture that just says everything has got to be youthfulness and youthfulness. The Bible has got a lot to say about getting older, hopefully, as you get older, you get full of wisdom and knowledge. And you know,

I always say Caleb was 85 and he said to Joshua, I'm as strong now as I was then. Now give me this mountain. He said, I'm not retiring. I'm not caching in my 401 then. Now give me this mountain." He said, I'm not retiring, I'm not caching in my 401k. Moses promised me hebra on. So I won hebra on. So I keep saying, I have been working 35 years for your generation to help create pipelines and pathways for young people to flourish and get into the fullness of God. But God still has a plan for me. I mean, if you didn't have a plan for me, I would never have worked up this morning. I wouldn't be plan for me. I mean, if you didn't have a plan for me, I would never have worked it up this morning.

I wouldn't be talking to you. I'd be in heaven, partying with Jesus. But since I'm here on earth, it means God's got a plan and a purpose and with God, it does you go from faith to faith, from grace to grace, from glory to glory. And I want a younger generation to see that it just gets better and better. It just gets awesome following Jesus.

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I like I'm telling you, I think if people just had like a little uh, Christine Kane that could come with them on their shoulder and uh, speak into their ear all day, we live a lot better life, but hey, that thick up for a podcast because we basically do have that. Um, that's true. Um, that's so encouraging. Uh, I love how you just have such a great perspective on life and you're so

energetic and fun. And one thing that cracks me up is, when the pandemic started, everybody kind of took on new hobbies, right? Like we all did something that we probably hadn't done before. Like I signed up for college, okay? I made it one semester, but hey, we did it. I might return later, but yes, the pandemic,

you know, it led us to do things we hadn't tried before. And for you, you talk about in the book that you started doing these motorcycle safety courses because you are a motorcycleist and Cali, which is just epic and awesome. But it also, you know, took a bit of a spiritual turn and really taught you a lot in those classes. So taught to me about one signing up for that and where that even came from. And then also just the base of this whole book and the direction that you're going with this message. Okay, you're before you think I'm a hero, I'm not really a motorcyclist, I'm a best provider.

Because I love, you know, I'm Greek, I love European roads, I love best varieties. So in Australia and say, you're gonna laugh because you know me, so the thought of this is crazy. I used to ride a hot pink vest bar. So it was to get literally, one day I need to post that. I used to ride a hot pink Vespa. So it was to get literally one day I need to post that. I'm going to post a picture. Please. It was like hot pink and nobody could work it out. I'd be decked out in full black Harley Davidson like jacket pants,

helmet on this hot pink Vespa. So I wrote it everywhere in Australia. Then I got to America and just kind of didn't get around to it. And I mean, you got freeways. I mean, the biggest freeway in Australia sort of got four lanes. I live in LA. So there's like, you know, 20 lanes, freeways, something. It's like, Chris, you've got to be careful. But then the pandemic hits. And he bought me for my birthday a Vespa. This time it's cream. It's really Italian. It looks really cool because when we're, I was ministering. I was preaching in Italy. And I started to go, I want a Vespa. This time it's cream, it's really Italian. It looks really cool because when we're I was ministering, I was preaching in Italy and I started to go I wanted Vespa, I wanted Vespa. And so we thought, you know, why not go in my 50s? Why not get a Vespa? And so he bought this Vespa and then I found out I had to get him. I thought I could just transfer my Australian motorbike license to America, but I couldn't. So because the pandemic, I'm home,

he signed me up for a motorbike license school. So I turn up and there's all these young guys, like your age, on their whole, you caddies, you know, they've got their marries, and I come in on my vest, so imagine they're looking like at this chick at the time I was like 55. Nobody was like, over 30.

And there's me in my little best part, they've got all the dukatis and all of them, all their eyes roll, they thought, this poor old lady, here she is coming. And then I got so into it. And so then I became like everybody's mother at the whole thing. And so there was this moment that you've got to do all your traffic rules, they put you on there. It's really good. I recommend to anyone please anybody listening to this. I'm going to be your mum for a minute. Go to driving school, okay, before you drive.

Okay. Because I friend of mine once gave me this great advice, which is true. There's only two types of motorbiker riders, good ones and dead ones. It's not a joke. So you've got to be really, really, really careful about what you're doing. So as we were coming around to turn, because you learned to take turns to turn a corner, now every one of us, your natural thing is kind of like to look down, to look at your bike, because your sketch is going to fall off.

And the instructor is like Christine, looks straight through that turn to where you want to go. You've got to keep your head up. You've got to not look down, not look round at all. Just look straight ahead beyond the turn to where you want to go. And then he said these words, which of course I repeat throughout the book, where you look, you will go. And that is the bottom line in life,

because Scripture tells us the same thing, which is why Scripture says, fix your eyes on Jesus, because where you look in life, you will go. And we are living in a day where there are a million distractions. I mean, you know, I know, from switching on your phone in the morning

to everything throughout the day, trying to grab your attention. And the truth is, wherever you end up looking, your body will follow. And most of us don't just run down the wrong path. We normally start by looking down the wrong path and you look sometimes you glance, sometimes you linger, and I was talking about that passion.

I go, wherever you linger, you will go. And we are created to do that. So you've got to train your eyes to be fixed on Jesus and your purpose. On the other side, we're all going to go through obstacles, hurdles, challenges, but you've got to train your eyes not to look at that, to look beyond that, to where you want to go.

And that's where you're going to end up in life. So good, gosh, I love this message, and it is so needed. Like so many of these quotes that even I pulled out, I mean, if you get these quotes, if you really start to live your life like this, it changes your life. I mean, it changes the whole game. I can think about times in my life

where I've had these shifts in my perspective. I remember somebody once told me, he said, say, you know, your rearview mirror needs to get a lot smaller and your wind should a lot more clear because I was just constantly looking back, looking back, looking back. And I remember taking that word and being like, man, like you're right, I was always looking back

to past mistakes, past failures, which made me feel like a hypocrite to step into what God was calling me to do because I was so stuck in what I did, what I had done and who I was, and not who I was becoming. And so I think about that in my life. And I'm like, man, this message that you're saying really did change my life.

And I'm so grateful that I got this message because I would not be doing what I'm doing now because I'd be so stuck in what I used to do back then. Well, totally. And I want to just say for your generation as well, it's so important because you are growing up in a generation with the screen and phones are there and it keeps permanent records, not just as our successes but our mistakes.

And so a lot of times people think, well, they don't look back messages just for when you get older in life. And you know, because a lot of people, and I think this is where you say, Chris, you're full of energy and you're always looking forward because all of us have sat around those tables at holidays, family holidays, where you've got maybe the grumpy old person

that's gone, well, back in my day, things were so much better. And everything's, you know, and you go, man, I don't want to end up like that grumpy old person. But when I'm young, it's awesome. But what I'm finding, especially with younger generations, is there is such heightened anxiety and depression and despair. And I think some of that is because the enemy has made us, we just

stare and scroll oftentimes through our mistakes or even because you might have a degree of success, you know, a post-mago viral or something might happen have a degree of success, you know, a post-mago viral or something might happen and you're thinking, oh man, I'm never going to get that again. And that's never going to happen again. And you know, you can end up getting into a depression and you're just looking back, trying to go, what was the magic formula or what can I do or only if I didn't do that? And I think Jesus wants us all, whether you are 20 or whether you are 50, to say the message

of the gospel is that we are looking forward. We're looking forward to the promise and the purpose of God. And of course, during the pandemic, and I think a lot of your generation, as well as my generation, really got stuck. We got stuck because we thought the world has ended as we know it. How do I move forward? And people got stuck in despair, maybe chaos, anger, disappointment, disillusionment, unforgiveness, bitterness, something, pink your thing.

And here we are in 2023. And a lot of people still haven't moved on. And that's really where this message came out of, because I would travel the world. And I would hear people constantly, no matter what world either they'd say, you know, well before the pandemic or my life before or before I made that mistake or before I failed in that thing or before that relationship busted or and I'm like, well, do you think God stopped with you? I mean, God, there's no before or after my

mistake or before or after a pandemic. There's a before or after Jesus mistake or before or after a pandemic. There's a before or after Jesus rose from the dead. That's it. So it's before Jesus came or after he rose from the dead. So I'm like, you're, that's it. There's a brand new stuff for all of us. So don't be thinking, man, if I just didn't make that mistake, if I just didn't fail, if I just didn't blow at that time,

then you go, your whole life stops at that point. Or if that post went viral, and I've never done anything that good again, I'm like, do you think for your time on this earth that it's all stopped? And of course, it's all wrapped around lots of life who turned into a pillar of salt, because she looked back.

The angel of the Lord said to her, don't look back, the world as you knew it. And of course, that was Solomon Gamora is burning up. It's burning down with us. No going back to that. And to be truthful, the world as we knew it has changed. That's the bottom line. It's changed in every way out there in the real world, morally, politically, socially, economically, environmentally, and your generation is living through the fastest rapid growth of change ever. No wonder anxiety levels are up.

No wonder despair levels are up. No wonder depression levels are up. So if you do not learn at your age to fix your eyes on Jesus, you can end up getting stuck and your body might be moving forward and time might be ticking forward, but everything about you just stay stuck in the past. Wow, gosh, that's so good. That's so real.

I encourage everyone who's listening to go back and just dwell on a lot of things that she just said because that's real stuff that a lot of you are probably listening to and it's waking you up to where you've been, the cycle that you've been on in your mind. And gosh, I wrote this quote down that you said in the book and you said instead of glancing back to learn, grow, develop and repent, we were going to cuss it but constantly looking back. And I wanted to ask you about that, like the proper view of looking back versus like kind of a toxic cycle of looking back because so there's just quote of my church and I honestly never liked this quote.

I love my church, but I've never liked this quote. And I'll tell you why, but I want to ask you about it. So when you come into our church, it's like on the wall and it's like a place where you don't have a past, only a future. And the reason why I haven't loved the quote is because I feel like part of the beauty of the future, like for instance, part of the reason that it's good to look at the past sometimes is to say, man, I once was dead, now I'm alive. So the power of me being alive is that I once was dead.

Like this is the story of my past is like, yeah, I was dead, now I'm alive or I once was blind now I can see like there's some beauty to acknowledging that there was a pass So that you can see the miraculous power of God in your present and in your future But then there's a danger of getting like stuck in the past of you know Just constantly living there giving your sake. So I love how you say like instead of glancing We're going to cut some to looking and so is there an appropriate view to have of your past to hold on to for almost like a humility way, or do you feel like it is one of those things

where you really just gotta get past it, we're going to the future, we're in the present, because that's just something that I always see that quote and I'm like, I don't know if I like that, but when you talk, I'm like, I love this. Y'all, we have so many dreams as a child that we wanna pursue over older. I had all kinds of dreams,

ranging very as a variety of different ways. I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. I wanted to work at Sonic so that I could roller blade. And I also wanted to be a weather girl. None of those happened, but whatever your dreams are, or your future looks like, Liberty University can help you achieve those dreams

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campus is awesome. If y'all ever seen it, it is absolutely amazing. Over 7,000 acres, state-of-the-art facilities and tons of clubs, teams, and intermural sports. Plus, they've got a lot of options for visiting the campus. They offer a one-day tour like tour L.U. and experience L.U. They also have college for a weekend where seniors can spend a weekend living their life as a Liberty College student. My family has been to Liberty University several times because my siblings actually like most all of my siblings have gone to Liberty University. So we spent a lot of time there. I've gotten to speak at Convococation there and we've just loved being on their campus.

Also, I got to take some classes for Liberty and I loved it. I learned so much. It was very doable with a busy schedule to do online Liberty because they make it super Life-self-friendly Liberty also has a private accredited online Christian Academy for K through 12th grade students It's called Liberty University online Academy where myesa, Sr. Bella actually went and did the program and went through high school there. And so she loved it. It was great for her and then she ended up going to Liberty Online for college as well and it's just wrapping up this year. So this is an awesome and affordable homeschool option, it's flexible and it's easy to start anytime. And even though students are

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And because you're a woe that's good podcast listener, if you decide to apply to Liberty, you're actually gonna get your application fee waves. So hey, oh, so friends, don't wait, go to liberty.edu slash lady now and get started on your future today. Okay, yes, and let me, I think obviously say what the power of the quote in your church, because I would imagine this is why it's up there is that you're not defined by your past, that Jesus has forgiven is why it's up there is that you're not defined by your past, that Jesus has forgiven your past. And I'm sure that's exactly what it means

as because so many of us allow our history to define our destiny. And so we think, okay, I'm a state that I made there. The sin that was back there, the way I lived back there, I can never move past my past. And so I think what that quote is saying, that in Christ and the redemption of God and the fact that Jesus died for our sins on the cross means you do not have to be limited or contained about your past. Now what you're bringing up is really important though because the danger, there's a scripture in Philippians chapter three, I write about this in my book because it is important. What you're bringing up is very, very important.

Paul says this one thing I do, forgetting those things that lie behind, I press on. Now, a lot of people have taken that scripture to mean, well, okay, I'm going to forget it. It's, you know, the past doesn't exist. I'm a new creation in Christ. I'm just moving on. And then 10 or 20 years in the future, the undelt with elements of their past, it does come back. And if you don't deal with your past,

your past will deal with you. And so the issue is that the blood of Jesus does not give us amnesia. So as you know with my story, I was left in a hospital unnamed and unwanted when I was born. I was the victim of sexual abuse for 12 years in my life. I was, you know, a daughter of Greek immigrants

very marginalized because of my ethnicity, my gender. Those things are real. I'm born again. I'm filled with the spirit of God. I love leading people to Jesus by God's grace. I've been married for 27 years. I've got two daughters. My life's moved forward.

But I've never forgotten the fact that I've been, I was abandoned in a hospital that I was sexually abused, that I was very marginalized because of my past, but what the blood of Jesus does, it's not, I don't have a measure. I'm not like that never happened. That's good line. Faith is not calling those things that are, as though they're not, that's not faith. By me saying that never happened, that's not called lying, that's not called faith. Faith is calling those things that are not as though they are.

So when I was beginning to heal and deal with my past before my past dealt with me, I had to start calling forth my healing even though I wasn't living in the fullness of it yet. Now today I'm living in the fullness of it a lot more than I was at 22 when I started, but I had to start somewhere. So I had to start, okay, this is the reality of my past. I can't change it. It's not going away. I can't dismiss it or deny it. But I am now going to start the process of making what Jesus did for me bigger than anything that happened to me. And when I learned to make what Jesus did for me, it didn't mean I denied what happened, but

then the healing process could happen in my life. And with therapy, the help of the Holy Spirit, a great Christian community over many years of a process, I can say, I think with integrity now, I have moved past my past. My past doesn't define me. My past doesn't determine my future. There is residue every now and again

that comes up, the Holy Spirit will show me, Chris. Now, I want you to deal with this and he doesn't do it all at once. When I got married with Nick when we started dating, most certain things that, especially from the abuse of my past and the abandonment, well, there was a time then a very intense six month period where for me to be ready to be married. A lot of things,

sorry everyone, this is like I'm trying, it's Sadie made me be cool and pull these things in my ears and they fall out. But the thing is that I had to deal with a lot of my brokenness. Now I didn't need to deal with some of that in other ways, but I was about to get married. I was about to enter a very intimate relationship, self- course, those areas of intimacy that have been broken in my life as a child and then in my teenage years, well, then now, because I was going to get married, either I was going to deal with my past or my past was going to deal with me. And what I mean by that is if I did not allow the Holy Spirit to come in, get some therapy and begin to really deal with it, I would have made Nick pay for something he never did to me.

Because it would have come out in my brokenness. And so in that time, there was a deep intense. Now you couldn't live like this all the time, but the Holy Spirit had to do a very dear, it was painful, it was so hard. Thank God for a man that was willing to walk through that with me. But because of that 27 years later, we've got my God's grace, a flourishing marriage, well then when I got pregnant with Catherine, man, a whole lot of new stuff came up for

my past, I was in ministry, I was doing everything, I didn't need to deal with some of that, but then the Holy Spirit was like, okay Christine, now you're going to be a mother. So you're going to have to deal with some of the issues of where you were abandoned as and by your own mother in a hospital, how you had a complicated relationship with your adopted mom. Christine, if you're going to not bring that brokenness into your own mothering, you're going to have to be willing to do some healing. And so then we went through a really intense healing period so that Catherine wouldn't be paying for something that she never did to me. Then the same thing happened with Sophia.

And it goes through that when we started day 21 and I was going to be working up close and personal with the rescue victims and survivors of human trafficking, well, that brought up some of my own brokenness with what happened to me as a victim of childhood sexual abuse. So throughout my life, it's not once and done. There have been different seasons of God working through things when my mother died, when I was 50. Man, that brought up a whole lot of other, you know, again, and I tend to go through these six-month intense cycles, okay? I'm going to need some counseling help, I'm going to need some other tools to be able to move forward. I think because I've chosen to do that, which has meant in those times, I had to glance back to go, okay, I'm glancing back, what do I need to learn from that,

what needs to be healed from that, so that I could keep looking forward. And that is the difference between being stuck there and constantly looking back the alternative could have been, I could have spent my whole life. So let's say Sadie, I was abused for 12 years, but in September I'm going to be 57, which means I haven't been being abused for 45 years. Why would I give the enemy any more time than he took from me? He took those 12 years, I can't get them back. But God has redeemed that with a lot of work of the Holy Spirit, of counseling therapy, Christian community, being in the Word of God. God has redeemed it. But if I just kept looking

back, and that was the entire identity I had for the whole of my life. I would have given him 57 years, not just 12 years, but Jesus, as I made what Jesus did for me on the cross, bigger than what they did to me, all of those years, then I have found freedom and wholeness and the ability to keep moving forward. And that's the difference between looking back and glancing back. That's the difference between denying and sweeping under the carpet and going, oh, it didn't happen. It did happen. There were consequences. There was residue. Yeah, but I am part of the body of believers that believes that Jesus can restore. Jesus does redeem. There is a life beyond your past. And I could live in the fort. this was God's plan for my life, that by his grace, I'd marry Nick,

I'd raise two great daughters that we would have a 21, equipment in power, that I would do what I do around the world. Now, if I just kept looking back when I, you know, about, and my whole identity was in what happened to me, then I would never fulfill that purpose,

not because I couldn't, but because I wouldn't, because I can't be back. That's true, not because you couldn't, because you wouldn't, that is so true. Gosh, everything you just said is so good, and exactly why I wanted to ask that question and bring that up is because, and I'm not really one to Nick Pick things,

or I'll look at it quote, and even if I don't love it, unless I say, oh, that's good, and I get it. But I wanted to nitpick things or, you know, I'll look at it quote, and even if I don't love it unless, oh, that's good. And, you know, I get it. But I wanted to bring that up because I do think that some people hear things like that or read things like that. And they're like, okay, like don't think about it.

Don't look back, don't look back. But it's like they've never dealt with it. And there are real life things that you need to deal with. And I love how you said, like you have to take these the time to go through six months at times to go through the counseling, have conversations, let the Holy Spirit move.

And I can think the same thing in my life. I mean, it'll be months where it's like, okay, we need to take some time on this. Like time out, hold on. Let's work on this. Now move forward and be healed from it. And yes, be redeemed from it and all those things. So I love, you explain that in the best way.

And I love how you talked about also, you can get your identity wrapped up in your past and your brokenness. But I think in the same sense, we kinda talked about this with the old grandpa being like, oh, back in my day, everything was great. But I think also sometimes we do that, even as 25 year olds where we go, you know, back in high school,

I was crushing it. You know, back in college, I was in the sorority, or I was popular, I was the star athlete, I was this, I was that, and we get our identities wrapped up in the past. And I just wonder like how do you not get stuck and who you used to be, whenever who you used to be might seem better in a sense than maybe who you are now. Because I think it's really inspiring watching you for me because you're so much further ahead of me doing so much of things that I want to do in ministry, reaching people, touching

people, all these things. And I'm like, it's cool to see you go the distance and continue to see God as a God who's going to do more. And I think that sometimes like the enemy will lie to you like, oh, you've already done it or the, you've already had like the highest peak, like what's next or whatever. And I feel like a lot of people feel that way, even at a young age and they're 20s looking back at college and high school

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Yeah, I'm so glad you said that because the truth is I've been to so many parties where people say even my age are talking about what they're doing college, you know, when I played football or, you know, I was on the volleyball team and I'm like, you all probably need to work out a bit right now. But anyway, you know, you're just kind of, um, but you could be doing that at 25 or 26 because sometimes my kids will have friends over and if they've got older siblings, truly, they're like sitting around at the parties like, you know, having a beer or whatever, and they're talking about their high school game, I'm like, honey, that was like seven years ago, you know, what has nothing else

happened in the last seven years, I think in my own life, I've just made a decision. No matter what accomplishments I have, I celebrate them, but then I don't build a monument to it. So this was going to make you laugh. Okay, so here's some of my forest gump confessions. When I was in Australia, I was in the under 18s Australian table tennis team. I know, I am forest gump. Okay, that is my...

That is... Because I was number four in Australia in the under 18s. So, you know, that was like... Now think about this. this is 40 years ago. And I could still be talking about, I got my medals, I got my trophies, I've got my ribbons, and I was a mean table tennis player,

and I still gotta say, I pull it out. It is my Trump card, I should never have put, I said this on this podcast because at every youth cap, if I still go to youth conferences, all the, this is how I get legit instant credibility because I go to Ann and they were playing ping pong and they think, oh, this poor old lady, and normally I'll start, I'll just play with my left hand,

I'm right handed, I'll play with my left hand, just so that I look really hopeless and I go, do you want a game? And then I've got all these guys or these jocks and I'm just like, okay, then I'll just beat them. 21 love, 21 love, 21 love, and they just got like, no one's here. I just, we're gonna play another game.

We've got best of three, best of five, best of seven. And I'm like cracking up. Now imagine if I spent my whole life because I was good, I used to play six days a week and traveled so much for it. Imagine if I was good, I used to play you know six days a week and and traveled so much for it. Imagine if I fully imagine if that was the pinnacle of my life like wow a little white ball across the table and at 57 that's what I'm still talking about. Imagine how limited that would be. So I want to encourage anyone if you get your identity from your last accomplishment,

it is the beginning of the end. Your identity must be in Christ. Your identity must be in what God has for you. So even now by God's grace, with A21, we've had amazing accomplishments, we've had awards from the UN, the president's department, from all over the world.

We've, our Can You See Me campaign has gotten, you know, London Film Festival, Prague Film Festival, Kans Film Festival Awards, all over the world. Now, to be honest with you, I don't even see those awards. I've got the mother to raise a humanitarian award. I went to Mumbai, India. I received that award. I thank God for it. It was awesome.

I don't even know where it is. Like there's nothing in my house that has got anything. I'm sure that got any one of the offices somewhere. I don't see it. And in my own way, that's a thing that I've just decided to do. I don't put any awards up.

I don't put any ribbons up. Because I want to be looking to what the Lord's got next. Because I don't want to get caught up in that. I remember during the pandemic, we cleaned our garage up like everybody, you know, and so my girls were in all these boxes. And I'd forgotten because there were boxes when we moved from Australia 15 years ago.

I hadn't opened. And the kids are opening them, and that's where they pulled out all of my, was that, Mom, did you play table tennis? Mom, they were pulling out all of my words. Like, mom, did you point out, I will tell you this, mom, they were pulling out all of these awards from. And I started laughing because some of them they pulled out, and you got to imagine these trophies were like 40 years old.

They come across the world, so they're like broke in their hands. And I thought, that's what the Lord thinks about it, man. It's just like broke. And then I'll never forget Catherine said to me, my mom's so happy and so glad and grateful that you never said anything about this because neither of my girls are athletic. They're really good with, I like Catherine's like, you know, the head of her sorority. She loves all that life. She's like that and so fear loves to read, you know, my soul. She's like so quirky, she loves to read and she's into music and but they're not

athletic. And I just, you know, I never even realized how important it was as a mum and I know you've got mums that watch this as well, not to put any of my expectations because I love sport, you know, I can't mount it, I do my deal, but I'm so grateful that in a sense, I didn't put any of that on them. And Catherine said, I'm so glad I like never sense, I didn't put any of that on them. And Catherine said, I'm so glad I like never knew. She goes, I think I would have felt pressure that I would have to live up to, you know, either doing that or the same way

that I've never put pressure on them to want to do anything like I do in ministry or on a platform because I want, the Bible says, and you're gonna have to do this with honey and you baby, that it's train up, you know, your children in the way they should go. Not in the way I went, but the way they should go. So I want to see what God's got for them and help them to flourish in the gifts that God's given them. So in a sense, you've got to be really careful because in your mid-20s

is where it can get really dangerous to be honest of where you get stuck and you just turn up and you sat at night parties become talking about what happened to college and talking about who's ended up and then you suddenly get to 30 and 40 and you've done nothing new and you're still talking about what happened to college. Wow, gosh, that is so convicting in the best way

because I'm like, I don't know, I've been in so many of these circles including myself where I'm talking about something of the past and just dwelling on it a little bit too much and even found myself wrapped up in that identity. I found myself in that for a while with sports and it took me a while to kind of let that go. Like, that was awesome and that was fun, but that is not where I'm at now and that is not what defines my life. And it's just so easy to get your identity wrapped up in these things when you work so hard towards something or when that's what people know you for for so long

or whatever it is. And I love that you said that though about just the perspective of a mom, not putting that on your kids. And even in some of those things that you talk about, things that you share, where your trophies are, because it shows where you put your value, you know? And my mom has done such a good job at that, like,

truly, we did the same thing recently where we found all of her artwork, and it was like stunning, like so good. I mean, she majored in art and college or minor in today or something, she went to college for art, and now my sister's doing art. But my sister even hadn't seen all of her stuff.

And my sister saw it and was like, Mom, like this is incredible. But it was the same thing. Like she didn't feel the pressure to be my mom. She's been able to go and find her own look and her own design and all this stuff. And me and my sister both now are about to put paintings that my mom had in our houses because we like loved it, but we didn't even know, you know, and I just think that's so cool because

it's a part of her life, but it's not all of her life. It's a part of what God did in her past, but it's not like the thing that she is defined by now, even that it's a part of her gifting. And so I love that you said that and it's such a good word for me. Just as a mom, raising two girls who are going to be different, who are going to be different. Who are going to have different personalities and different giftings and different things to the Lord put in them that are different from each other and different from me and different from Christian. And so that is such a good word.

And I know we have a lot of young moms listening to that. That's going to be huge for. Last thing I want to talk to you about is you talk about your best friend in the book. Don, I believe believe is hurting and I just Love it because we talk a lot about sisterhood and friendship Within the L.O. World I mean our conference is a little sister our other podcast is called sisters and friends So we love sisterhood we love friendship, but I love how you talk about you and you said this earlier How you had to work through some stuff in your life so that you didn't put on Nick something that Nick never did or you didn't put something on your

daughter's that they never that they never did or went through. And I think sometimes in friendships, it can be really hard to not bring past hurts of friendships and past distrust and all that into new friendships. And so with you and Donjolishup and like your sweet friendship, how have you not brought in her from other friendships into this one that has had such longevity or what's the difference that you've seen in that one? Sure, yeah, because this one's now a decade's old. Well, a lot of that is into any relationship, whether it's friendship, marriage, parenting,

whatever it might be, the greatest gift you can give anyone is a healthy you. So the more that you are whole in Christ, then you are not going to demand from other people what only God can give you. And so I think a lot of times we do bring the past into the present, especially if we're not healing in certain areas. And you know, a lot of times someone will do something or we will have something happen in a relationship and then we'll define all relationships by that. That's not like every person. That was that one person. And so that's why ongoing healing is so important.

I'm a big proponent of that. Anyone that knows me, I'm full of faith and I'm full of overcoming our past and stepping into our future. But I'm not into denying our past. I'm like, you can only, you've got to name it so that it can be healed. And if you won't reveal it and name it,

I often say, God can't heal what you won't reveal. And so if you just bury it, you are going to carry that. And man, there is nothing worse than a stinky corpse. You're going to bring that toxicity into every relationship. And someone's gonna do something that's gonna trigger some unresolved thing from your past.

So the more you can allow the Holy Spirit to bring healing and use what, in these days, and this is the great thing of growing up in your era, there are so many tools. There is so much access to therapy or great books even or great communities that you can be given the tools to go, I don't need to carry the toxicity of that relationship into this relationship. I don't think obviously being open and not looking to people to be what only God can be in your life. So I truly believe the stronger you are with the Lord,

the more whole you are, then the more joy you can have out of your friendships. I think a lot of what you have to be careful in it, particularly in your generation. And I love the emphasis on sisterhood, I love the emphasis on community and finding your people, but never forget that God is your person. And it's Jesus that is your person.

And so because otherwise, people are flawed, people are human, including us. We hurt other people unintentionally, you know, many times. And so people will let you down and people will hurt you. If you elevate them to a place in your life that only God should be, then you're going to live in constant disappointment. You're going to want to put walls up. You're going to say, I don't want.

And you know, be the kind of friend that's not always taking, but is giving. And the more whole you are, the Bible says it's better to give than to receive. So the more whole I am, I'm not just coming into a relationship for what you can get, you know, give me. But it's like, man, what am I going to bring into this? I want to bring life and hope. And ultimately, I want to help you move more towards Jesus. It's great. Gosh, so good. Chris, your advice is so good. And I love, like I mentioned, I

love talking to you because every time I talk to you, I feel personally so inspired. It's these kind of podcasts that I forget I'm supposed to be hosting and I just try listening. And then I'm like, oh, shoot shoot I'm supposed to ask a follow up question because I'm personally just being impacted so much and that's because I look up to you so much and so thank you for being the real deal. Thank you for continuing to write awesome books that inspire so many people showing up to podcast, showing up all over the world to just man preach the gospel and bring people closer to Jesus. You're awesome. I love your family. And thanks again for being on the World of Skiparkas.

Well, thank you and you know how much I love you. I thank God for you and you give me great hope for this generation. And for my daughters, like thank God for you. Oh, it's so sweet. Well, I love them and I'm excited to see you all soon. We'll be there. I love you, girl. you