WHOA That's Good Podcast - How to Stop Self-Doubt from Holding You Back | Sadie Robertson Huff | Sisters & Friends

Episode Date: May 16, 2022

Sadie and LO team members Hallie Dye and Emma Brownawell offer so much encouragement to anyone who struggles with self-doubt, perfectionism, mom guilt, or feelings of inadequacy. They share relatable stories about cross-country moves, new jobs, and learning to be where God wants you to be — even when it means stepping outside your comfort zone. Friends, God's timing is always right. Never doubt what he can do through you! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up sisters and friends welcome back to another episode with some news. Sisters and friends, y'all I'm so excited because today I get to talk to two people who are very special in my life who are literally met day to day life. They work for team alone and are also super good friends and we're going to talk about what does it look like to start a new job? What does it look like to step into the unknown? What does it look like whenever you're insecure and a certain thing that you're asked to lead in? How do you get past perfectionism?

Self-doubt all of these things that go into starting a new job, moving to a new place, and really just life in general So I'm so excited to talk about this before we dive in though and to read a verse that I read this morning Because I feel like when it comes to starting something new the scariest thing is just like So I'm so excited to talk about this. Before we dive in, though, I want to read a verse that I read this morning because I feel like when it comes to starting something new, the scariest thing is just like feeling like, am I equipped to do this? Am I actually, do I actually have what it takes? Or even the loneliness that it can feel sometimes

to be a leader or to move to a new place? And as I was reading Psalms 28, 7 this morning, underlined it and then I wrote it down as a reminder to myself and it says, the Lord is my strength and my shield. In him, my heart, trust, and I am helped. And I thought, man, that is so good. He's my strength and my shield.

And when I trust him, I am helped. And I think that so many times we're just afraid that we are not gonna have the help that we need, that we are not gonna have the help that we need, that we're not gonna have the strength that we need, that we're not gonna be able to have all that we need to do a task, but just to know that man, in God, I am equipped to do this, and not only that, but I'm helped by the God of the universe.

And so what can go wrong? And I have seen these two people walk in to this office with humble strength and I've just seen them just walk it out with the Lord. And so I'm going to ask them some questions, but first I want you to get to know them. So, girls introduce yourselves. All right, well, I'm Halle. I am new here at L.O. That's part of what we'll talk about today. But yeah, I have been married for almost 11 years now. Crazy story. And then I have three kiddos.

They're six, five, and three. And I actually have stayed home for the last, it's almost seven years. And so done a lot of things in that time. But yeah, I've been primarily a stayed-home mom and a lot of other ventures in there, but yeah. That's awesome. I love it. And your kids are so cute. Y'all are like the cutest family.

Oh, seriously. Seriously. They're so fun. They're so fun. They're so cute. They're so fun. I'm just going to just mention this because we went over the other day and her littlest one was playing with honey and he's how it has been like he just turned three in March. And obviously honey is not three.

She's like 10 months old. She's a little different and you know, so bossy. And he was like not having it because she was eating all of his toys and he kept going you can't eat toys. I'll let you go. I'll let you go. That's good advice. She was eating all of his toys and he kept going, you can't eat toys! Hey, you gotta start until you're done. That's good advice. What Honey doesn't realize, but she will,

is like, he has those rules for all of us, you know? And we're just like, it's his world, and we just like live in it, you know? Honey was a very unfazed via it. She was like, okay, yeah, cool. I'm gonna eat the next toy that I've been got. So, it was too good, it was so good. Which he totally did, you know? It's funny in the face of eating everything. Oh, yeah, cool. I'm gonna eat the next toy that I figure out. So it was too good, it was so good. Which he totally did, you know.

It's funny in the face of eating everything. Oh, she eats everything. But the funny thing is, Finn was actually inspired. He was. He looked over it in like five minutes later and he was secretly eating the toy. He talked to me, he was like, well, maybe this is good. Maybe she's on it.

I know, yeah. I said, see, it's kind of fun, isn't he? And he goes, yeah, it's kind of fun. So it tells me it's just kind of what I listen like. Got it, sometimes. I love it. Oh my goodness. Well, I'm Emma. I am originally from Maine.

I moved down here in September to start on T-Mello. Let's see what else. I went to school in Florida. I rode in college. So cool. Yeah, so it was a journey and a half. But now we're here and I love it so much. It's awesome.

It's been a journey. I feel like God's taking me so many different places, but the place that we are right now is just so sweet and I just love the season. So it's so cool. Yes. I love it. Emma, how old are you?

23. 23. So you're 23. Really just graduated. You're back in Maine and You were in like a big almost transition of your life whenever I called which is actually a crazy story how Emma and I even Met yeah, Emma was actually an ambassador on our ill-os sister app I guess how do we even find you on social media totally a god thing because I was walking through season in college

It was during COVID. I was walking through a season in college. It was during COVID I was walking with my faith, but I wasn't like fully posting about it and when y'all reached out I was like this is so strange like of course yet my answer is yes But I was like I have no idea how they found me why they found me it was totally a god thing So they reached out in my DMs and I was like this is gotta be a scam But that's how and then it all like flowed from there. So it was totally a. Wow and to be honest I have no idea how we found you. Like I guess. I have no idea. Yeah. Yeah and so Emma was an ambassador because the first round of ambassadors we were so scrappy. Literally team a load just like stalked people on Instagram that

were sharing their faith and we were like hey when it come to be an ambassador for Ella's sister and I guess you were one of them. And over the year that we had Ella's sister, we had a retreat, so you came down to Louisiana, we got to meet you among all the other ambassadors. And you were like a good friend, everybody loved you. Everybody had great things to say about you, but I didn't think much of it. Besides you were just a great person,

especially didn't think about you working here because you lived in Maine. And all of a sudden, you were a little bit more shy. Like, we didn't get about you working here because you lived in Maine and all of a sudden you were a little bit more shy. We didn't get to know each other super well. You were a little bit more quiet spoken. So time goes on and then we're looking to hire. Working with moving and we were looking at the list of ambassadors and we both were like, I think Emma could be interesting for this.

Like, no idea what she's doing and life, no idea what she wants to do. It wasn't like you applied for this job. Just kind of reached out and tell where you were on the other side of this because I feel like the timing was so cool. It was crazy because I reached out to Morgan a year before because I needed internship to graduate. So it's like, it would be so sweet,

like if I could do something virtual. I don't know if y'all are able to even do that. So her and I got on the phone. She goes, no, like we would have to be in Louisiana. I was like, okay, like no problem. Put that down. That was a year later. So I was supposed to move to Boston. I say supposed to because I was like the plan that I had created for myself. I was in Florida. Then we hit COVID. Had to go home to Maine. Was working also in fashion blogging for someone which was so fun. And then also graduating, like trying to graduate.

So on the side, I was talking to a friend I'd grown up with. We were supposed to move to Boston September and then that got pushed back even more because the COVID, like the city was totally shut down. Then we were like, okay, January, that's gonna be our time. We're going. And then she's a message me later and she told me that she needed to move to DC for her job, to do it like virtual, because her sister was there.

So I was like, okay, no problem. And then I got another text from her in, I wanna say it was like June, and she goes, in the fall, we're moving to Boston. I was like, yes, we're moving to Boston. Like this is happening, cause she was moving back. And then I got a text from my sister, because our sisters are really close to.

She goes, hey, did you know like she signed a lease with somebody else? I was like, no, like I had no idea that was happening. And we're fine now, like no drama at all, like we're really close. And she signed with someone else. So I was like, okay, I have no idea because I was dating someone in Boston. I really potentially could have saw my future with. I had this job that was doing fashion blogging, but it was virtual, so I could go anywhere. I was starting to make friends in Boston, so I really thought Boston was lining up. And when I found out it was a closed door,

I was like, God, I have no plan B. That was my only plan. So I remember writing one day, I was sitting, writing a journal, I have a picture of just my my journal and I wasn't taking like a sad photo Like that ugly crack that was not the selfie I was sitting there. I was writing and I remember the moment so clear. I was like god I have no plan B. You were gonna have to be so clear on this like so clear about where you need me to go And I just remember him saying like you're not gonna need to promote yourself in any way Like I just need you to lay down Boston completely.

Wow. And for me, I'm letting go of the relationship. I'm letting go of the job. I felt like, I love, I truly love that job, but in my heart, I felt like a tag. You were just gonna have to set this down sometime soon. And then, the friends I made there, still great friends, but it's just not the season for that to move.

So, fast forward a little bit later, I laid all these things down, I was like okay, I'd you're gonna have to be so clear on this one because like I said, I had no plan B. And two weeks later it was so crazy because I was talking to my mom, I was like I really want to move like September October because like mains are great place to be in the summer, but like winter, not the place you want to be. And there's not like super strong community, like Christian community. So I was like September, October, I'd live to move somewhere. What that looks like, I have no idea. So when you and I got on the phone, then one of the first things you said to me is like, hey, I know this is crazy, but like September, October, we'd love to fill that role. And I was like

what? Like, yes, that was my yes, because I remember saying to God, like, if you're so clear on this, I'm going to say yes. And it was just so clear to me, even though it was scary to walk into. Even though it was totally different for me, I was like, wow, okay, this, it was just made so clear. And from that, everything flowed so perfectly. And I say perfectly, just God guiding it. It was like, those changes you have when you move of like, well, who are my roommates gonna be?

How am I gonna get down there? What does this job even look like? All this things, like I was leaving a mentor that I loved. So when I was laying all this things down, it was like, you're gonna have to be clear on those things too. And it was so cool because then everything just flowed from there. Wow. When we got on the phone, you were like, there's three girls,

three girls that wanted to live with you. And they needed a fourth roommate. I was like, this episode is brought to you by KPMG. At KPMG, innovation is the go-to state of mind. Their visionary thinkers and advanced technology help you see beyond the now, uncover new insights and turn them into opportunities. KPMG can help you leverage the value of data and drive transformational outcomes through innovation. To explore their thinking, go to kpmg.us. Okay, check. Just aligns so clearly.

So like when God spoke to me and was like, you're just going to have to not promote yourself in any way and just trust me on this one. And I feel like it just flowed from there. So. Oh my gosh. I had chills. It was so crazy. It was so crazy.

You didn't know. A lot of that. I didn't know you were dating someone. I didn't know you had to lay that down, which is really, really hard. Especially when you see a future. I didn't know you had such a strong mentor. You loved your job. I didn't know the extent of all that. And so that makes me even more blown away at your faith to come. But it's also so kind that God was so clear.

I was actually journaling this morning. It's so cool that you're talking about this. And I was talking about how I said, God, I feel like so many things that have happened lately have been so in your timing. And I just wanna jot down some things I've noticed about your timing. So the next time when I'm trying to for something

that's not right, like I'll remember this is what it feels like to be in your time. And I described it like this. I was like, I feel like the things that are done in your time are the most obvious things. Like it's almost like, duh, like, oh, like wow. It's almost like we catch up to something that we already have known. I described it like, I said, gotta feel like you put like a box of secrets in my heart when I was born. And all of a sudden, like sudden you open the box and whisper another to me

and I'm like wow, it's almost always been there and that's all I felt with you. Whenever I started working, I mean it was crazy but it seemed so obvious. I was like why are you not working together? Why have we not even thought of this? It's like you like September October, it's so obvious. It's like wow, and there's also such an ease to it, even though it's hard, and even though it's like, you move from Maine to Louisiana, like, oh my gosh, that is hard to do, but there wasn't ease, in the sense that you did already have a mentor here, and that's a crazy story. You had a couple

friends from L.O. sister retreat, you had roommates, roommates. It was the perfect timing to move. Like, there wasn't ease in the sense that God had prepared it in a certain way. So, Halle, you had to start something that was completely unknown as well, going back to work from being a mom and staying at home with your kids. And so, how have you navigated that season of saying yes to something that seemed a little crazy Well, it's funny whenever you said you know that it's It was like so unknown but then also so obvious because from my end I'm like was it so obvious like You know, it's funny. We've been going through you know resumes and interviews for some you know

Growth for the team and that's been really exciting and it's funny like, yesterday I told Sadie we're going through him that I was like, you know, really? Like, you wouldn't have found my resume in this stack for what I do because I think the timing, you know, because Finn did just turn three, I wasn't really anticipating taking on anything new until the fall. But also, I don't think that I would have considered myself the person for this job anyways. Like I don't think I ever would have been like, yeah, you know what, let me apply for that. I can see that.

I think you're right. I don't think you would have. No, I really don't. I mean, it's funny. Like we already had lunch plans when you told me about the job and you're like, oh, this crazy idea I want to run by you. And I thought you're going to be like, I'm thinking about this for like conference. And I was like, do it.

Absolutely. Like, I'll be your hype girl. But then when you were like, hey, like, I want you to do this job, I was like, that is actually crazy. So yeah. But it was, it is one of those things. When we left lunch, we'll like, you know, Stefan Court were there and I totally did not see it

coming at all, but you know, y'all were kind of just gauging like, is this something you would even be interested in? I had no idea. I think we had never talked about this or anything. And you know, heart was, it was like an easy yes because I totally believe in what LO does. Like, I'm have been behind you already as a friend. And so that that part was easy but logistics wise, like for my family, you know, and wanting to be there for my kids. And is this the right season? And is this the right thing?

I did need to go about, go away and talk to Andrew about it and pray about it. And it's funny I left there and called Andrew and was like, okay, this is really crazy. Like, you know, kind of told him all. And he was like, well, you're right. We do need to pray about it. But also, you know, there's things that you're like,

huh, never thought about this. Let me go away and really pray and really journal and just sit on this for a while and listen to where the Lord leads me, but then there's other things we're like, actually, I didn't see this coming, but this actually is an answer to prayers we've been praying for a long time. We just never thought it would be this way or method. Yeah. And it's funny, I was listening to it whenever you were talking, trying to think what you said about just the timing of it all and following it and having to lay down everything. You know, it's, I think about back to dreams and things that I've had in my heart.

You know, you talked about that and seeing them come to fruition at different times and, oh, that makes sense. And you planted that in my heart and like really, like we all do have a lot of dreams but at the same time, when you're walking with the Lord and you're walking in his will, actually the things that he has for you

you will not be able to quit. Like they come to fruition because he is not going to let you quit. And at the times that, I mean, with this job, with different things and prior to this, like, at the times that he really was calling me to step out, it was such a gift that I felt at the end of myself and felt like there was no way, there's no possible way that I'm the person for this job that I can do this because he needed me to see like, yes, it is me. Yeah.

And that he was sustaining and that was so good. There was no, there's no way I can look back at certain things in my life and deny the fact that it was 100% home. I'm so grateful for that. Yeah, you know, that's so cool It's so good. So you talked a little bit about just not feeling like you're the person for the job And I think that that comes from a lot of reasons for you I mean part of that will probably come from because you have a family and because is it even the timing? Is that even what you want to do all this stuff? But then another part that we've talked about is the self-doubt part of like do I even have what it takes to do this and I know

that that's come in your life in a lot of different areas just like most all of us have struggled with self-doubt of like am I really a person can I really do this am I doing a good job am I enough all those things and so working through the self-doubt and life like speak to that a little bit because I know moms for that I know post post, you know, college people feel that. I know it all I just feel that. But how have you worked through those feelings of self-doubt? Because I think everyone has self-doubt.

But I think there's a difference in the people who choose to just stop listening and say yes anyways. I think that takes bravery. And I think that takes like a trusting God that God you've made me. This is who you've made me to be. You've equipped me to do this. So even though my doubts are saying this, you're word is saying this or you're a spirit

of saying this. And I just want to make that note and have you speak to that because I do think people think, well, if I have self-doubt, that means like I'm out, you know, like that means I can't do it. But clearly you have had self-doubt. I've had self-doubt. You've had self-doubt, that means I'm out. That means I can't do it. But clearly, you have had self-doubt. I've had self-doubt. You've had self-doubt and we're here. So there's something happening that doesn't mean that disqualifies you.

Absolutely. So what does it look like for you to work past those thoughts? Well, you know, we probably don't have enough time to dive deep enough into mom guilt, you know, on this one episode, but, you know, the funny thing about mom guilt and really this can apply to absolutely anyone in any season, but we do see it more when we are in charge of these little people like I and their lifeline. I'm the one that speaks for them and advocates for them. And, you know, I mean, obviously Andrew too, but you do feel the weight. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal.

It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal.

It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal.

It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a new, like, presenting a new thing like, hey, do you want this job? You know, or whatever. You are now faced with, oh my goodness, I don't give myself permission that I would give my friend next to me. My friend next to me is a director, she's got a PhD in counseling and this friend has,

you know, is so great and PT, they're both working moms. I don't think anything about that, but actually like, it's realizing that I live in the doubt of like, I have different sets of rules that I think that the Lord holds me to it to this standard and she gets to be this and that's not actually true. Like, we live in these lies, you know, that we think the Lord is holding us to the standard,, it's the enemy's voice telling us all the places we can't go And he's whispering it to them too, you know, but like You know jumping into the world of working mom, which is still so new and fresh to me is like I have no qualms about my friends working Why am I believing that lies that I cannot do that as well?

And so that's a lot of it and And one of the things my friends and I've become like really big on is physically writing down those lies. Take the time because there's something about seeing it go from here to seeing it physically written to go, that is crazy that I'm believing that. That is crazy. And then being able to write a scripture, actually this is what the Lord says.

And it's good. That is crazy. And then being able to write a scripture, actually this is what the Lord says. Yeah. And it's good. As far as just realizing it is him, and it's him that sustains me one of the biggest stories that has been a big part of my life this year is Peter walking on water. When he steps out, what I love about that story is, when he steps out, he wants to and he confirms

with God, he confirms with Jesus like, is this you? Call me if it is and Jesus says come. And so he did kind of go down the list of what he's supposed to and he's the only one that steps out of the boat, you know. And so he steps out and what Peter was called to do is impossible, but he was still called to do it. You know, and it's when he takes his ass off of Jesus and looks down at where he dares to stand that he goes, oh my goodness, I can't do this. Like, this is too big, this is whatever.

And it's funny, like, I remember reading that in the fall when I was going through a lot of stuff and thinking whenever Jesus said, he immediately reaches out, pulls him out, they can make it back to the boat, and he says, why did you doubt me? And like, in Peter's defense, I'm gonna be like, I don't doubt you.

Like, I know, you can do it, I just doubt me, but like, one of the things God is ingraining in me, and probably for the rest of my life, is like, actually, when you doubt your calling, you're doubting the caller, because he's asked you to do this and he is going to sustain you. And there was so much grace and Peter realizing

when he fell, like better for him to fall and have Jesus lift him and know that that was his life one, then to take 100 successful apps from the boat and think it was him. Yeah, and that's gonna be so much grace, you know? Three, two, one, come on! Take me to church! That's you know? Free! So good! Hi, I'm Tayden! So good!

That is so good! I'm sitting here like, wow! I need my notebook for a quick time! I'm not mind over! I'm like, okay! Well, that was so convicting! Because I sit there to go all the time. That's kind of my line with God.

I say, God, I don't doubt you, but I assure you doubt me. And that's so true! It's like, no, if I doubt myself, a lot of like, really, that's doubting what God sure do doubt me and that's so true. It's like no if I doubt myself a lot of like really that's doubting what God can do in me because the word says that like his spirit dwells within us like he is within us like we are the new temple like we hold we host the presence of God and so if I'm doubting me I'm really doubting what God can do through me. And so that's true.

Like, I've never thought about that. Because like, part of me is like, well, yeah, without me because I can't do it. And that's why I need you. And that's true. And that dependency, like, you're right. Like, he did fall and he did need you to lift him up. But then also saying, but like, you're actually in me and that's why I'm able to do the impossible. That's why he was able to walk on water in the first place.

That was never him. It was always God. That's so good, but because in that context, it's like, Jesus is over there and he's right here. You're not really thinking about the fact that like God had to be within him to be able to walk on water. Yeah, so if you take your eyes off of him and begin to look at the waves and the wind that is against you, it... you will fall every time.

There's always that. You will fall. The thing is, we all have strengths and weaknesses. And we always stop at the weakness. And I feel like that's where God starts, because He says, like, my strength is made perfect in your weakness. Yeah. So, like, there's been so many times in my life, even where it's like,

okay, God, I can't... I don't know how. Yeah. Even writing a message or in my life even where it's like okay, I can't I don't know how yeah Even writing a message or talking to someone where it's like I just need you to work through me and act through me And there's such a confidence that comes from Because he wants to be there and we just give up on the weakness part yet Did you feel equipped for the job? No, I see absolutely not because there was a time in my life And maybe it was a lot even just from the enemy where someone must have told me or the enemy told me, you can't write. Like you're not a good writer, you're not smart, you're just not.

Well, I'm not good for this. And I was like, that was the thing when you asked me, I was like, I don't know if I can do this. Like I really believe that life. So I remember just saying to God, like you're going to have to act through me and speak through me. And that's been my prayer every single day even up to this point and it will continue to be because I don't want to be strong enough in my own Strength. Yeah, I only strong in what he wants me to do what he wants me to speak what he wants me to act on

It's good So no, I was not confident at all, but through doing it and breaking out of my comfort zone I feel like I found a confidence on me, but in him well doing it and breaking out of my comfort zone, I feel like I found a confidence on me, but in him. Well, that's awesome. Yeah, I'm on. One thing I've seen in you, Emma, is I've told you this before, you are a leader through and through with your actions.

Like, you lead so well. If someone follows you, they're in good hands because you lead well with how you live your life, how you walk, how you talk, how you do the whole thing. One thing I've seen that you're not as confident in is in just your speaking, like leading a crowd through words. You lead crowd through actions, but not so much through words, which is fine. Everybody has their good things, but there are times in this job where you have to leave with your words. And I've seen that with a challenge for you. And so,

how do you get past those moments where you know like this is something I'm not great at, but you get past those moments where you know like this is something I'm not great at but I'm called to do it or this job requires me to do it because I think some people might think okay this is not for me I can't even do this and I'm never seeing you say like I can't do it like you've always been like great I can do it. If I've talked to you about something you're like cool I'll do it like next time great thanks for the feedback. You're also the most team player I've ever met. Every time I've complimented you you say effort, even if it literally was just you

there. You could go with the team master water. And like thank you and when you're awesome. Well somebody had to put the water there. And I want that about you. You're the most amazing leader in team stuff. But how seriously, like, there's a part of someone's job that they don't put confident in. How do you grow in that and not hide from that?

Because I think the tendency would be just hide and just say, oh, that's not really me, that's not really what I'm hired for, but you've never said that to me. You've been like, done. I think we've had so many great conversations. That was one of the first things on my first day sat down and said, like, you're gonna have to do things

you're probably not comfortable in. I was like, okay. Okay, bring it on. And that hasn't always been my mindset, like growing up I'd probably be like, ah, somebody else can do it then. Like, I don't wanna try and fail because nobody really wants to fail.

Yeah. But just acting on that and saying like, okay, if you're gonna act and speak through me, then I'm gonna trust you on that. Yeah. And just because I've seen a faithfulness in the past of like showing up and being present and speaking through me and acting through me

um to do the thing that might feel uncomfortable but I'm so like I get excited about being uncomfortable now and like that's all that. This point in life and when I was moving here I told a mentor I was like I just don't know if I can do this like right and speak and like do all these things of like talking in front of crowds like you said and she said the more comfortable you are being uncomfortable, the more comfortable you're gonna be. So like, we wanna back down. That's good.

That's good, that's what we're doing. That's what we're doing. That's good. Wow. Those are where I was like, okay, she's like, it doesn't mean you need to be confident in what you're gonna do, you're gonna need to be confident in what he does. And the more comfortable you are like stepping

out of your comfort zone, it's gonna start to feel more comfortable. But you have to take those steps, or you're just gonna sit there and think like, I can't do it. Yeah, that's so good. So when she said those words to me, I was like, okay, like bring it on, let's go. That is so good. And I've seen God's shop in so many ways. Gosh, I'm so proud of you.

And I'm so, I gotta say, I am shocked by you. Like, all the time, everyday, like, all the time I'm shocked by you. And I think it's because when I talked to you on the phone originally, like when we had the time, every day, like all the time I've shocked by you. And I think it's because when I talk to you on the phone originally, like when we had the interview, I loved who you were. I love to you. I thought you like just in who you are, an amazing person and worth hiring just because I want to be around you. I didn't know if your skillsets were gonna be right for the job, you know, I really didn't. But I have been shocked and amazed because who you are has proven to be an excellent leader.

And your skill sets have proven to be an excellent leadership position for us. And you've done an incredible job because you stepped into the uncomfortable moments and just owned it. And you've learned. And you've been willing to like have the conversations with me on something like, how can you learn? I remember when you asked me, you said like, how can you learn? I remember when you asked me, you said, like, how can I get better at speaking publicly? Like, those are the questions that you've asked that I've seen you actually apply to your life

and get better at, and it's the coolest thing to watch. Like, it is awesome. It is like, you're like an Easter egg. You're like so like clear looking, like, being able to call, like, those are lies when you're looking at someone else's life because like, who is like more capable than Emma? I know, you know what I mean? And this is where people are the new.

It's fun when you're on a team where we can be like, okay, I don't feel comfortable. Like, how comfortable doing this? Cause you're really great at this, or you're really great at this. Like, give me some like pointers, really good advice. Yeah, it's really good advice.

And like, it's so important to have friends around you like, or have a mentor who can speak into your life and just be like, you can do this. Like, here's some tips you're gonna be uncomfortable, but like, go do the thing. I love that. And I love the thought of like, who is more, you know, who is more capable?

Because it's that thought of, you always think somebody else is more capable. But that person thinks that you're more capable. And this person thinks that you're more capable and it just takes you believing that like God is gonna do this to me and I'm gonna work hard, you know, it does take hard work It does I say it's done with ease. Yes, there's an ease to it But it's hard like it's hard work sometimes. It's hard to do stuff

That's unknown. It's hard to do stuff that you feel like you might fail and like that's just part of it though On that note, Ally, you talk about perfectionism a lot. And perfectionism is like such a hard thing. And I mean, I know especially in college campuses, almost every single person I talk to in a college campus and say, what do you struggle with? Perfectionism is like the number one thing. And I think a lot of that is because when you look

at social media, I mean, you're seeing a lot of perfect. You know, you're seeing a lot of filtered. You know, you're seeing a lot of filtered. You're seeing a lot of curated captions that are perfectly edited. You're seeing a lot of friends hanging out with people on the weekends. You're seeing a lot of successes. And so we're holding ourselves to the standard

that is perfection, but it's not reality. And we're always gonna fall short of that standard, but that doesn't mean we're falling short from God. That doesn't mean we're actually falling short from who we're always going to fall short of that standard but that is I mean we're falling short from God, those of me were actually falling short from who we're called to be but of course we're going to fall short from this in you know un what is it? Unrelatable you know picture that the world tries to present to us and so Keith speak a little bit to just like balancing the perfection of your own life and how you've gotten to the place of just being willing to show up as you are.

Yeah, I mean again, you know, this takes me, it's hard for me to not relate things to motherhood in my season of life, but like, again, when it is affecting those that rely on you and depend on you in so many ways, you're like, man, Lord, let me fill anywhere else but here. Let me fill anywhere else but my family. But the truth is, one thing that I have learned, we all want to be the unfailing mom, but actually, if I could be there everything, that would actually the worst thing for them. I think a about like the garden and how there's two trees You know, there's tree of knowledge of good and evil there was the tree of life and when they send and when They had to leave the garden. It wasn't like all right. Here's your punishment

Here's your punishment. Now get out, you know, like somehow we picture it that way, but it was actually like They could eat from the tree of life and be frozen. Like they would get eternal life from that tree if they ate from it, but it would be an eternal life eternally frozen at this distance from me. And I do not want that for them. And I think sometimes as moms, we try to be that tree. Like we want to be there everything, we want to be enough, but we want to do all these things. And that is great. We do want to be a good mom. We do want to be a good vessel, but we have to realize like where that source is coming from.

We don't want to be that tree where we can, we are there everything and they never have to reach to the Lord, you know? And I mean, yeah, like he loved them enough to say, like, I don't want them to be frozen forever like this. And then began the whole story of the gospel. And like the beautiful story that I get to show to my kids is like, and we talked about this yesterday,

like apologizing to my kids like, hey guys, I'm sorry I've been grumpy this morning. Like I was stressed, you forgive me. And like even though they're little, they understand already that, oh, mom's not perfect. So there's room for me to apologize. And actually, it was cool to watch them at age three

on their own come back without me saying, I'll say you're sorry and say, I'm sorry, I can remember garnet, like one specific in laws back porch coming back after something I remember what the offense was, but she came back on her own and said, I'm sorry. And I couldn't model that out of perfection. I can only model that out of my failure. Yeah, that's great.

And the Lord takes your weakness and he uses that. That's so good. It takes that humility to be able to say, I was wrong. That wasn't right. Yeah. Sorry, whatever it is. And I think on college campuses, especially relating to specifically sororities and girls who feel like they have to uphold this image of perfection,

like what would it look like if you humbled yourself instead? Hey guys, like last night I was being pretty fake. I was not happy. And I was, I drank too much. Or I actually just made a bad mistake with the sky that I was dating or whatever it is and I need some help, like I need some friends or maybe it was, hey, like I filled that test actually

and I'm super stressed I'm not gonna be able to graduate. Like what if you said that to your sisters? Your sisters, like your sisters and friends, like that's what they're there for, like to be honest, but we're never gonna get to that relational, just like, I'm never going to get to the place relationship that we want to be if we're trying to be perfect. You're just not. Perfectionism keeps you from relationship, and that's what you're talking about with the garden. Like, had it been like that, how could they be in true relationship with God?

Like the reason why I, one reason why I am madly in love with God is because I'm an imperfect human and he's offered me grace upon grace for every eternity. You know? So when I repent to him, when I come to him, whenever I confess my weakness, it is never a condemning God who comes to me. It is a loving God who welcomes me back home. And like, man, that's the beauty of getting rid of perfectionism. It's being welcome home. It's being a true sister, a true friend, true family. It's a beautiful thing. And last thing I want to talk to you about, and gosh, y'all, this has been so good. I'm like learning from you all as we're going. I'm like, wow! Bring in in! I'm like really inspired and I think people are going to be as well.

Well, I want to talk to you about staying when things are hard, because things are hard, life's hard, especially we live in this world where hard things are happening. People are getting COVID, people are dying, people are sick, people are... Whatever it is, you know, people are losing jobs, people are shifting families, whatever it is, and all of these things create this desire to just want to be home and not do anything and not even leave your house, you know. But that's not reality. We can't do that. We can't just hide. We have to go with deliver our lives. We've only been given one life to live. And you're really living it out. Now that doesn't mean things haven't been hard.

And I know there have been days where you miss Maine, where you, your families there, your people are there, you're just familiar, you're already, is that the right word to say? Is there? All of it's there, and you're here. And so, on the days that get hard, how do you fight the resistance to go,

and how do you choose to stay? Yeah, I think it's such a real thing too, and you want to go back to what feels familiar, to want to be with family, to want to be around those things that you've known all your life. Like I said, but I think for me, it's just like, if God brought me here

with such intention, like for me, it's looking back a lot of days of like, well, if I went back to Maine, like that would be on my own well, and that would be on my own like desire. And because I saw him bring me here so clearly and set like every step in front of me, it's just for me, it's like, I'm not moving until you just make it clear, till you make that next thing clear. And even when I

said like when I was moving, I was like, you're gonna have to be so clear, I'm not gonna promote myself in any way, you're just gonna have to be so clear. And that's like a promise that I feel like God and I have made it. It's like, I'm not moving until you are so clear. And that's like a promise that I feel like God and I have made as like, I'm not moving until you are so clear. And I say to my friends sometimes, I'm like, I just need God to be like, almost so clear to a point where it's like, well, that's what God wants it. And because he brought me here and he was been so faithful here and giving me like friends for a lifetime

to have a job that I absolutely love. It's like, why would I want to move? Yes, things are gonna get hard, but why would I want to move away from where God is? And my friends say to absolutely love. It's like, why would I want to move? Yes, things are gonna get hard, but why would I want to move away from where God is? And my friend said to me once, he's like, if God's there, that's where I want to be. So that's where I'm like, God's here, God's moving. That's where I want to be.

Yeah. And if I move somewhere, it's like, it's like you're seeing the spiritual phomo. Like we now have spiritual phomo, like a spiritual like fear missing out on what God has for us in that time. And yes, there are times to move. There are seasons for everything. There will probably be a time in your life that you move again, you know.

Maybe it's to may, maybe it's somewhere else. Maybe it's to say, but it's just being obedient to God. You know, if God says it, it God says go you go, if God says, say you say, and I love your obedience to that. And I knew you were going to say that because that's what I've seen play out in your life and that's what I've heard you say. I just wanna encourage people with that because I think that there's always like a wondering in our soul, it's almost like, am I doing the right thing?

Or should I should be? Should I be here? I've got it, has you somewhere just be there? Like you don't, you don't have to question, you don't have to freak out. Like he will make it clear if you need to go. I remember one time I was in this relationship and I was like overthinking everything.

Like, don't need to break up, do a little while. And it was very obvious I needed to. Like, it was very awkward. Like, hello, you know, this relationship. Like, I mean, God was clearing every other way than how I wanted him to be clearly. I wanted him to come down in the form of Jesus and say, get out of this relationship, you know?

And that did not happen and didn't happen. But I was just like, God, I just don't know. And I was like, God, okay, if you give me a sign, like give me a sign, like I can't miss it. And then I will. And this is so funny, because I mean, I don't recommend that to people who want to ask for a sign.

I mean, literally in the Bible, they asked Jesus that and it did not go over well. He was like, you crooked generation. So, but I went for it. I asked for a sign and Literally the next date I was on with this guy. We left dinner We get in the car and um both of our friends had died and we were like oh no like how are we gonna get to where we're going? So it's kind of a stressful moment and so he like whipped out like super fast to the parking lot and literally ran into a stop sign

Like we ran into a stop sign. Like we ran into a stop sign. And like I was like, oh my gosh, God gave me a sign. I was like so clear, like I like right in front of me in the car. There is a stop sign and I just knew I have to do this. And I did, broke up. Have you ever heard of the story? It's like Harold and the Purple Crane. It's like a kid's book.

And I think so often in life, we draw this, pretty much the book is about, he has a purple crann, whatever. He draws it comes to life. And so many times in life, we see a perfect relationship. We just need a sign, God. And we start drawing these images

in our head of what we want it to look like and come to life. And it's like, if you just hand the crann over to God, he'll start drawing your whole picture in the whole box of cranns of all these colors. So it's like, you just hand the crayon over to God, he'll start like drawing your whole picture and like the whole box of crayons of like all these colors So it's like if we asked for those things or like those signs or whatever God's gonna be so clear Just like give him the pen. He's gonna draw you aren't gonna have to like strive and like create your own I manage your own art or whatever it might be so that's what I encourage people today

It's like just hand over the purple crayon because your life is gonna be so much more fruitful if you just let him do the work or like let him bring about the person in the right time or like the move not saying change will be hard but come on what a way to end it with the kiddler children's books. Sometimes they're reading honey's books and like crying you know like it's not crying you're so good. There's so many deep meaning. So good. Man, well, I hope you all are so encouraged. I'm so encouraged. And this is what it feels like when you sit down with sisters and friends, and I have to say, there's not been, I have to say like sitting down with two people who are genuinely sisters and friends in my own life, you see the difference, you know, you see the difference in our conversation. We're

like, boom, boom, boom, back and forth. This is what God did. This is what I just read. This is what we just talked about. And that's what I want for y'all in life. To have people around you that know the good, know the bad, know the ugly, know the mountain tops, know the valleys so that you can sit with them and you can talk about the goodness of God and all the things. So that you can talk about God being a strength, God being a helper, God being all the things,

and man, that's what helps get out that perfectionism. That's what helps get out that self-doubt. That's what helps you be able to stay when things are hard because you have community. That's what helps you be able to go when you're unsure because you call a friend. And so look, I know it's hard to build relationships. I know it's tough. Trust me, I've been there. I've been hurt by friends as we all have and I've hurt friends as we all have. But man, it's so worth fighting for that relationship. It's so worth getting outside of your bubble and investing yourself in people

and who you can walk through life with. And so, I hope you're so encouraged. Send this to a couple of friends. Start a conversation around this conversation if you don't want to talk about. And man, I think it'd be a great way to get into your people a little bit better. We'd love you guys and hope that you'll have a great week. you