WHOA That's Good Podcast - How We Found Our Husbands: When You Know, You Know! | Sadie Robertson Huff | Melodie Malone | Chidima Craig

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

Y’all, we love a good girl chat, and this episode is SUCH a good one! Sadie’s hanging out with Passion Music’s Melodie Malone and Chidima Craig, and they’re diving into all the things—singleness, how they met their husbands, and why marrying a fellow believer is honestly a no-brainer. Melodie, who’s a newlywed, shares what her single years were like and how she realized her friend Jay was actually the guy she’d been praying for all along. Chidima opens up about the early days with her now-husband Michael and why it was hard to let herself fully receive his love at first. And Sadie’s spilling a little tea on those first DMs and phone calls with Christian—and when she knew it was more than just “friends.” This Episode of WHOA That's Good is Sponsored By: https://drinklmnt.com/whoa — Get a free LMNT Sample Pack with any purchase! https://www.functionhealth.com/WHOA — Get $100 credit toward your membership. Valid for the first 1,000 listeners, so don’t wait! Upgrade your sleep with Miracle Made! Go to https://trymiracle.com/WHOA and use the code WHOA to claim your FREE 3 PIECE TOWEL SET and SAVE over 40% OFF. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders. Shop now at NoFriills.ca. What is up, scissors and friends? Happy Monday, everybody. Y'all, I hope you're having a good start to your week, but, ooh, it's about to get so much better because today we get to have a fun girl chat with two incredible people that are probably no strangers to you. You've probably seen them.

You've worshiped alongside of them, but maybe you don't know them on a personal level. So today we have Chinama and Melody from Passion with us. So thank you all for coming to Louisiana. So happy to be here. Absolutely. So fun. This is really fun. You guys have both actually been here a couple times

for conference. And Chinama, you were here for the retreat, which I'll never forget. Because you know how you have this perspective of someone? And for me, I'm just going to tell you, my perspective of you is that you're very cool, okay? Like for y'all. I mean, you are.

It's not just a perspective, it's a fact, okay? And so I'm like, she's really, really, really cool and we've invited her into this space to lead worship but also to hang, like we want you to have like make friends too. And we were doing the most ridiculous things at that retreat and I'm sure we were like looking over at you being like,

and, and. I loved it. And it was here. I loved every moment. That is so great. You dove in. Oh yeah. And it was like the greatest compliment when you told me, you were like,

I don't normally do these things. Like I would have normally just gone to the room. Yeah. But I was like, but you stayed. I did. Has you made such a like welcoming space, such a fun space? I was like, I don't As you made such a like welcoming space such a fun space I was like, I don't know any of these girls except for Sadie and this is a blast people really burping their ABCs It was like that level of like weird night

I'm thinking of that picture that you sent to me of I don't remember what game it was, but it's just me Having the time of my life. See, I have this, like, my grandma instilled this in me. She's like, no one thinks they like forced fun, but everyone appreciates forced fun. Right. You know, it's like, if you just say we're doing it, like you just do it. Full send, yeah. My mom's, you know, 40th birthday, I was like, hey, I'm planning it.

Like, I got this. And I was like, but just be open-minded, okay? Cause it's, you might be a little embarrassed, but just don't feel that way. Just full send. And I invited all of her friends from all over the states that came. And I had planned this big game of like nitty gritty,

which is actually a game we played at Camp Shioka. It's similar to the game you were a part of. And it is goofy. These are like, sorry, it's my mom's 50th birthday. These are like 50-year-olds not even 50th birthday, these are like 50 year olds and they're like all lit. And like Matt Redmond was there. Having the best time. Oh.

And he did like a fashion walk and they were like, how did you get Matt Redmond to do a fashion walk? I'm like, force fun. That is force fun. That's it right there. Force fun, okay, got it. So today might be a little bit of force fun, I'm just kidding, it's not gonna be force at all.

Today's gonna be real fun because we're having girl chat. My hope for this was that, like I said, people have seen you guys lead worship. People have worshiped alongside of you. And the perspective most people do have of you is you are amazing. You're super cool. You clearly love the Lord. Your voices are so much bigger than your bodies. Like, y'all are just powerhouses.

But y'all also are two women who like also, you just got married, like literally just got married a month ago. Yeah. Not even, is it been a month? A month ago, yeah. A month ago, I actually like had, have had the honor of like knowing y'all

before you met your husbands and now like seeing y'all meet your husbands, get married and it's just been super cool. So I'm like, you know what? We just need a straight up girl chat, and I'm super excited to have it. So since we're bringing up that you just got married, can we talk about the wedding for a second?

We can, yeah, absolutely. Tell us about your wedding, because it looked absolutely epic. Oh my gosh. So fun. It was honestly like, this is going to be so cliche, but it really was the best day of my life, which is crazy. But mainly because we had this picture in our minds and in our hearts, like my husband and I,

that we really just wanted, one, people to feel loved and God to be glorified. And as we've talked to people after the wedding, the number one thing people have been like was, we just had so much fun and we felt so loved. And like God was so glorified. So it was just like, it feels like what we dreamed actually became a reality.

And just to stand there and have like all of these people that were older, so I'm 38 and he's 43. And so have lived so much life and then to be able to stand there and look out at all of your people. It's not as much your parents' friends as it is, like when you get married when you're young, but it's like our people.

It was just like, I was so overwhelmed with gratitude to be able to stand there and just be like, and it was just, it was so much fun. Honestly, it was so fun. And y'all, both of y'all have like blended cultures in your marriage. So you had like, that was so cool to see everyone from Passion like dressed up. I was like, I've never seen these people in this context. Tell me a little bit about that and the fun of it.

Well, so my husband is Indian. And so the night before like our Christian ceremony, I guess, if you want to put it that way, like we wanted to honor the traditions of his culture. so we had a sanghi and mendi and so it's just basically it's just like a fun like dance party with Indian food and Indian DJ and then Hina and all these kind of things and so which was a blast and so we told people like you can come in Indian attire or you can come in cocktail attire but everyone was like no cocktail attire, but everyone was like, no. We are like, this is our chance. Like we wanna dress up and like, I'm gonna step so it was a blast.

I think it was Ellie Holcomb. Her outfit was so cute. It was like, I understood the assignment. So cute. She did. Oh, absolutely. Ellie is one of the most fun people on the planet. And so she just had a blast.

That is so fun. It's so fun to like hear this because I think it was a couple years ago that we were all in the airport. I don't even remember what airport we were in. Do you have any memory of this? And we were talking about you being single. And we were talking about you really

desiring to meet your spouse, but it hadn't happened yet. We just got in this little talk. And it's just crazy because fast forward to now and your month into your marriage with someone you've known for a really long time. We're gonna dive into all that. But since we talked about your wedding, Chinamah, tell us a little bit about your wedding

and your spouse. Yes, our wedding. So we got married January 20th, 2023. So we're approaching two and a half years, which is crazy, because I feel like I just got married yesterday. But it was so much fun. I'm from Texas originally, so he's from Atlanta, so we got married in Atlanta. All my family from Texas and from Nigeria,

because my family is also Nigerian. So cool. Everyone came from all over, and that's one of the most special things, I think, for me, is like all of your people coming together, and, you know, cousins and aunts that I hadn't seen since I was, that I have no, like, recollection of, like, I haven't seen, they haven't seen me since I was a baby. Yeah. Everyone coming together to celebrate us. But it was so much fun. We got married on a Friday.

I remember that week, that whole week was so rainy. And I was like, God, please. It was supposed to rain on our wedding day. And I was like, God, please, please let the sun come out. And that was the one day that the sun was out that whole week, which I was like, God, you see me. It was so much fun. I just, it was incredible.

And then a month later, we had our Nigerian wedding. We went back to Texas for that and did that with my family, which is so amazing. But yeah, my husband is Michael. Well, his government name is Carl Michael Craig III. He'll probably hate me saying this right now. We needed this. Sorry, babe.

That's his government name, but everyone calls him Michael. He's funny. He is funny. He is hilarious. His Instagram cracks me up. I always show Christian because I'm like, did you know Michael was like this? And he's like, no. No one knows.

I know. No one knows. He is the funniest person on the planet, 100%. Both of y'all's husbands are really funny. Hilarious. Oh my gosh, she is hilarious. Yes. Yes.

He is crazy, and he's hilarious. Crazy. Yes, he is so funny. Iilarious. Yes. Yes. Yes. He is crazy. And he's crazy. Yes. So I love it. And how old were you whenever y'all got married? I we got married four days after I turned 28. Okay. Awesome. Yes. That's great. One of the reasons I thought this chat would be so fun is because it's really funny on this podcast because because it is primarily women who listen. And it's like 20 to 35 is the biggest age range, and then some lower, some older. But when we talk about relationships, it is always the hot topic.

That's what people listen to the most. Everything is just higher when we talk about relationships. And it's just funny, because we haven't really planned that. It's just when we organically talk about it. And so when we started doing our analytics this year and seeing that, we're like, hey, we need to dive more into this. Like, people clearly want more wisdom when it comes to relationships.

And I think you guys have such good stories to speak into it, because y'all are married, and you have that side of things. But you were single for a long time. You both have talked talked about that too. And so we're not just talking to the married person here. We're not just talking about the dating or engagement. We're talking about the single person.

We're talking about all of it, you know? And I think that, you know, in our culture, there's just like so much over saturation with relationships where it comes like the bachelor and Instagram couples. And like everyone's obsessed with this idea of a relationship. But I love talking about in the godly context that it is. And so how cool that we get to talk about y'all's stories

and the beauty of both of them and meeting your spouses and the singleness and all of it in between. And so Mel, tell me a little bit about your singleness story because I know you went through different periods of time where sometimes you felt really confident in that and sometimes you felt the longing for it. Can you just take us back there and kind of speak to the person in that season of life?

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woe. Again, that's drinkelement, D-R-I-N-K-L-M-N-T dot com slash woe. Yeah, which it wasn't that long ago, which is like crazy. But I think for me, it really was like a very seasonal thing. I mean, like I said, I was 38. And so you go through seasons where you're super excited, you love it. It's very fun. You have all the freedom that you get from being like single.

And you're like, yes, I love this. And then there's other seasons where you look at your friends and you feel like, for me, there was this point of like, I just felt like I was being left behind. Like, I was like, all my friends are getting married. My two closest friends were having kids. You know, it was just like, oh man, like this just starts to be like, you start to look at the clock and be like,

am I just being left behind? Even to the point where I was like, starting to have conversations about like, am I not being even challenged in growing, as a human being? Because everybody always says, you know, your biggest challenger will be your husband or your spouse.

And so I was like, well, man, am I missing out on actually growing into who God has me to be because I'm not married? And I just had to wrestle with a lot of those things and be like, I came to realize that's not true because that's not who God, that's not who God is. Like, and if anything, I have the Holy Spirit. And so the Holy Spirit is the main like counselor,

you know, and the person that's gonna challenge me. It's great. But it was this like roller coaster to some degree. And then there really were, there became a large season of time where I would not let myself desire a husband or a relationship because it just became too painful. Wow.

And I was just like, it's easier to just not want it and just be like, great, I'm happy with my life, which is true to some degree. I was so satisfied in so much of my singleness until two years ago and at the Grove, our women's conference at Passion, I was asked to speak on a panel, which is not like that's very normal,

but I was like the person on the panel to speak about singleness, which is, you kind of become like the spokesperson for like singleness. Don't you love when you become a spokesperson for something you never signed yourself up to? You're like, okay, but then you're like, okay, but like, it's like anything, it's like your story. Like everybody has their own story

and God has you in that space to speak to other people who are walking through that thing. And it's like, I want to embrace this. I don't want to despise what the life that God has you in that space to speak to other people who are walking through that thing. And it's like, I want to embrace this. I don't want to despise what the life that God has given me and the opportunity he has given me to help other people walk through this same season. But it was in that preparation for that panel that I realized and was finally able to articulate

that I have been praying something and asking God for a husband for, at that point, you could just roughly say 20 years. Like if I really started praying at 16 for my husband, because I thought I'm gonna get married right out of college. Like this is what you do in the South, especially, you know? Like you just get married, like you meet your husband in college, you get married and all of that.

So I just got to this point where I was like, I've been asking God for this for 20 years and I haven't seen him come through. And it just was like, I honestly had to grieve that. I had to say like, God, I am disappointed. I am frustrated and I'm probably angry to some degree that this has been something I've been asking you for and I haven't seen the fulfillment of it.

But in doing that, in like admitting all of that and being honest to God, he's just started to wake up that desire again. And I was like, I'm not gonna, I don't want this to be dormant anymore. I'm gonna actually start leaning into this more and praying specifically for my husband, whether he shows up or not. I'm gonna be like, hey, these are the things I would love to see, like the characteristics. And so I just started journaling like throughout that year and just being like, okay, this is like what I want. Like, I would love him to be funny.

You know, I would love him, you know, to love people. I'm an introvert, I would love him to be an extrovert and I love Earth people because I think that would be a really good challenge for me. You know, like just like things like that. It's so cool knowing y'all too. Exactly, like that's the thing. And so like, and we were friends at that point,

but I didn't know it was him until like later in that year. Well, I just, I started like looking back at my journal entries and just what I had my prayers and I was like, oh my gosh, I think it's like, it's Jay. Like, and that was a, that's a whole nother story. That's crazy. We'll get into it. We'll get into it.

I wanna ask you one more thing about that. Cause you talked about feeling left behind as your friends begin to get married and have kids. I've seen this happen with a lot of different people, some in my own life, but others in just other friends' lives. It's like when other people start getting married or having kids and the person who feels like they're being left behind, they

start to retreat and remove themselves from those friendships. I remember one time my sister sharing with me that she didn't want to be friends with this group of people anymore because they were just in such different seasons. I was like, well, that makes sense, but you also can learn from people in different seasons, but there is a time where you want to step away. I guess we had this whole debate on is it good to dive in even though you do feel different and just kind of be in the messiness

or do you need to take a step back because it's protecting your heart? And I don't even remember what conclusion we ever came to in that conversation. I just remember me and my actual sister having a deep conversation about this. Where did you find yourself and did you want to retreat from your friends who were getting married

or did you just dive in and allow yourself to be the single one in that? I found myself, I think I had both worlds. This is kind of just the truth of it. I had friends that were still single, living in Atlanta. So I definitely had girls that we could go out on the weekends or do whatever. But I also found myself getting into families and just being like, hey, I can come watch your kid

while y'all go on date night. Things that I'm not able to do now, but just being like, man, and I had some, one family in particular that just welcomed me in, and I was a part of their family for a few years. They were just like, how can you? And so I think it was a both and for me. It was like, I have these single friendships

which are really nice and it's like, oh yeah, I still may have been the older one out of some of those, but I also didn't shy away from just being involved in my friends' lives that had families and getting to know their kids and being Auntie Mel. I think that's really cool and really good advice to have both if you're able to, because I do think sometimes, like your insecurity says, okay, I just want to be around people who are like me,

you know, and that can be in so many different things. It's not just engagement or marriage or having kids. That's just like people who are like me in general, you know, just because you don't want to be around someone who maybe challenges you or pushes you or is different than you. But man, what a blessing it is, because it does help you grow when you are around people who aren't like you and you develop such close friendships that you're within a family, like, you know, a family as people like friend family. But like, I think that the beauty is having both if you're able to. So I love that advice.

It's so good because I think a lot of people feel that tension, like, OK, well, I don't want to be the one that's not like them. And they're normally not thinking that. Right. Exactly. Like, they're not. That's not how they view you. Yeah.

Yeah. You're not like the single friend. You're the friend. You're not the one that doesn't have kids. You're the friend. And I think that we think people view us as the thing we lack. But you view yourself as the thing you lack. other people don't normally put that on you, you know

Should tell me a little bit about me and Michael were you looking for a relationship? Was that something you were desiring or did it kind of just happen out of the blue? Um, you know, I I Was looking but like not you know, I was looking, but like not, you know what I mean? Like. I'm open, but I'm chilling. I would never, yeah, I would never say no, but I'm chilling, but no, seriously, I would say, here's what I'll say, I was definitely open

to whatever God wanted to do, of course, but I wouldn't say that I was looking, just because like, I would say I spent all of my college years like wanting to be in a relationship and wanting to find somebody. And like, there was a season of my life where I was so consumed by that mentally and it became so draining.

And I ended up dating someone right at the end of college, moving, like as I moved to Atlanta. And I think I thought like, okay, this is it. Like this person's gonna fulfill me and it's smooth sailing from here. And that's not the reality of it, because no one can fulfill except for God. And so after that, that relationship ended

after a couple of years, and I was like, you know what, I'm actually good. I think it's time for me to seek God and let Him tell me who I am. And at that point too, I hadn't really done a good job of like building community and things like that. So I was like, this is the season that God has me in

and this is where God has me, which was Atlanta. So let me just dive in to serving my church and getting to know God more, like knowing His word, building community, like making solid friendships, because I'm an adult at this point and like we need people. So I would say when I met Michael, I don't remember meeting each other. Um, unfortunately.

You really don't, you're right. Well, it's funny because like some people, like my husband, remember everything. He's like, oh yeah, I remember what you were wearing. I'm like, you too? You're like, oh cool, I love that. Love to hear that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Super sweet. Yeah, so we don't remember meeting each other, which is kind of sweet. It's like we've always just kind of been around each other. ["Dreams of a New World"] Sisters, if you're like me, then you like to be on the ball, especially when it comes to our health. That's why we chose Function because it is the best thing in the world for testing. It's an all-in-one health platform with over a hundred advanced lab tests that cover your entire body, five times more than your average physical actually does. Function

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cause that's when I moved to Atlanta. But we didn't start dating till 2021. So it was just really sweet. In 2020, COVID, lockdown, crazy times. During the summer, our church was doing a food bank for the community. And so they had people sign up, like door holders from the church sign up to help with it.

And so every time I tell the story, I'm like, so I signed up and it sounds so noble, but it was, I was so happy to be there, but it was also my way of getting out of the house. You know, that was literally my one outing because it was every week. You can flex on that noble thing you were doing. You're inspired.

No, it was my way of getting out of the house and serving the community. But Michael, that was part of his job. So he works at the church. And at that time he was a resident at Passion City and that was part of his job. And so we just started hanging out every week at this food bank.

And I remember, like I had known him at that point for like four years, but I had never gotten to know him. And so I just remember texting a friend and I was like, you know what I think is kind of funny and kind of cute and kind of fun? Michael. And she was like, okay, keep that in mind. I was like, well, it doesn't mean anything, but like. I'm just saying.

Just a statement. Right, I'm just putting it out there. And genuinely, I just was like, oh, he's really cool. Didn't think anything of it. But I think this food bank lasted for maybe two months or so, so we were actually cultivating a friendship, which I love. And so after that, I wasn't looking,

but I was like, it was in the back of my mind. You're like, but he's funny. Yeah, but he's funny. And I can appreciate that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All fact. All the things. And so we became friends after that.

And so he would text me videos, or when we would see each other at church, we would stop and talk to each other. And so it was sweet to be able to become friends with Michael. But I would say December, like around Christmas time was when the shift happened.

We were at our Christmas Eve service and I was leading, he was working and he texted me at the beginning of the day and he was like, hey, before you leave today, come find me because I want to give you something. And I was like, OK, great. I have to fly back home to Texas for Christmas, so I'll have to leave ASAP. But if I get a chance, like I'll I'll be sure to come and see you. Right. And after that, I was like, I texted my friend and I was like

one of our mutual friends, I was like, does Michael like me? And just questioned. Just wondering. Yeah, just curious. And he was like, oh, I can't say. I was like, okay. This is so cute. I know, you would think we were like 12.

All the code for it. So I was like, okay, so now I'm like in my head, I'm like nervous about it. We do the gathering. That is so awesome. It's so now I'm like in my head, I'm like nervous about it. We do the gathering, it's over. And I'm walking out, but I text him, I'm like, okay, meet me by the doors. And he comes to meet me and he was like, hey, this is kind of silly, but I got you a Christmas gift.

I was like, oh. And he was like, I remember that you told me that you love Hallmark movies. And so it's super dumb, but like, I bought this on eBay. It was like a VHS of a Hallmark movie. That is really cute. It was so sweet. I was like, really?

I just play her like. No, I didn't even remember telling him that. He's super thoughtful. So I was like, that's really sweet. Like, thank you so much, da da da, right? And so I had to go. So I was like, thank you, da da da. We leave, I get to my car and I text our friend and I'm like, okay, so much, da da da, right? And so I had to go. So I was like, thank you, da da da. We leave, I get to my car and I text our friend

and I'm like, okay, so Michael does like you. Yeah, 100%. Question mark and he was like. He went to eBay for a whole lot of eBay. Like who still goes on eBay? I know. First thing. Amazing.

First thing's first. First thing's first. So anyway, I go back to Texas that night, right? And we have a VCR at my house. And so I remember seeing it and I was like, I could text Michael right now. Cause at this point, I don't know how I feel. I'm just like, okay, this is new territory.

So I see the VCR and I'm like, that'd be funny if I just like texted him a picture and had been like, hey, I should have brought my gift. But then I went back and forth with myself and I was like, no, just text him. As we do. Right, as we do.

I was like, you know what? That doesn't mean anything if I text him. Let's just text him. Oh yeah. So I send him a picture of it and I was like, should have brought it. And he was like, oh, ha ha. Then we start talking, we're going back and forth,

we're going back and forth. And he was like, at the end of it, he was like, hey, well ha. Then we start talking, we're going back and forth, we're going back and forth. And he was like, at the end of it, he was like, hey, well, I hope you have a great Christmas. Like, can't wait. We have conference after Christmas. So he was like, can't wait to see you again, like in a week or so when you're back, praying for you as you prepare for conference, da da da.

I was like, oh, thanks. Oh, shoot, this is so sweet. And so then we didn't talk for a month after that. What? But. What? That was such a halt to the story. I know, I know.

Sharp turn. I, I. Why? That was not on me, actually. I actually wanted him to reach out, but I didn't want to be the first person to reach out. And I think for him, he was just kind of giving me my space.

But also, I don't know, actually I've never asked him, so maybe this should be a thing. I know, but it's like in the moment in the podcast, you phone a friend. I know, like, wait, hold on. We're live on the bulletin board podcast. Can we pause for a second? I don't remember why he did it.

He has told me before, I think maybe life just got busy. I don't know, but. Maybe he got nervous. Maybe he got nervous. It's very real. That could be a thing. But my birthday is in January. So then I heard from him on my birthday.

And then I would say that's when we started actually really getting to know each other and we went on a date after that. And yeah, now we're married. So- Yeah, married next year, because it was your birthday, right? Around your birthday? Yes, so that would have been 2021.

Okay. And then, because I remember it was like after Passion, you know, we're getting married and it was crazy. Yes, yeah, exactly two years after that. That's awesome. That's so sweet. See, this is good because I do think that sometimes people,

what's the best way to say this? I feel like girls get a little too sassy in relationships where it comes to like, okay, if you don't hear from him in a month, they're like, oh, well, he's done. Totally. And it's like, okay, pump the brakes. Like, he might be nervous. Like, he might be giving you space. And I love how like your perspective's like,

I'm not really sure why it doesn't have to be like so bad that he did that. It's a negative thing. Right. And I do feel like people throw out really good guys and opportunities because of one little thing that they did. So I just love that it wasn't that big of a deal. It's OK.

Like, hey, that's all right. You came back together, and now you're married. Right. So I'm like, hey, don't like make really big decisions based off like a really small thing, you know? And I think people do that all the time. And it's so fun to hear your story because it's just like so relatable.

All the texting, like getting in here thinking, what should I say? Right! I saw the same thing. Oh, for me and Christian, like after I saw his DM, he sent me that I was like, okay, should I like DM him back? But then I was like, oh, my sister's gonna kill me because my sister's friends with him and I knew she did not want me to

Date Christian or like talk to Christian. It's my friendship and I'm like totally Bella and I'm like, hey So here's the deal. He sent me this DM before y'all actually even knew each other And so it's like only right right that I respond, right? She's like, don't respond. I do not respond. I'm like, well, I do want to respond because like we could be friends

and wouldn't that be great? Cause like me and you are friends, obviously. And then we can be friends and I could just, we could all hang out. Right, we're right. And then she's like, oh my gosh, just friends. Like do not, and I'm like, promise. Like this is totally going to be in the friend zone.

And now of course we're married and I have a third baby on the way. Oh my gosh. Friend zone for sure. We had the power of a little text. Right, right. Yeah, we text and text and you start talking, they were talking on the phone.

And yeah, we were the first phone call we had. I was like really trying to downplay it to my friends because everyone was knowing I needed to not get into another relationship. And that really was true, except for the fact that this was the right relationship. I didn't know he was gonna be here. I had no idea.

I was like, it's literally nothing. I'm just trying to be his friend because my sister is friends with him and I just want to get to know him, blah, blah, blah. And I grabbed a chocolate covered banana from our freezer and I was like, this is how chill this is. I'm gonna be literally eating a chocolate covered banana while I talk talk to him on the phone I'm not even taking this seriously I remember saying that to him. I'm so chill yeah. Like as if that represented how non-chalant this is. That's so funny.

And I remember like talking to him, this is so funny. I don't even know if I've ever told this story. I was sitting on my jeep eating this banana with him on speakerphone, like listening. And then he started saying things that were so intriguing. And I was like, I'm so expressive, even when I'm by myself. I was like, okay, okay. I choked the banana in the yard. And I took him off speakerphone, started walking around, and talking to him.

And we talked. That was serious. No longer on speakerphone, sitting on the Jeep, like I'm walking. Banana's gone. Banana is gone. We are not wasting time. Talking back and forth, like an hour goes by,

come back inside, they're like, how was your call? I'm like, yeah, it was fine. He's really nice. You know? No big deal. It's not a big deal at all. And so anyways, it's so funny those early days when you think back and just laugh at the things

you were thinking and the ways that you were trying to navigate. 100%. I like awkwardly said to him one day, this is like the very beginning. We had been talking like every day for a couple weeks, probably like two weeks. We just got in the habit of talking,

but we weren't like flirting, we weren't saying anything, we were just genuinely getting to know each other. And I was like, all right, I'll talk to you tomorrow. And I was like, we're not, like we don't have to. Like if you're busy. I think we can talk. If you want to, like typical deal. It was that awkward.

I was like, we don't have to. And he was like, no, yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow. I was like, okay, cool, bye. And he got like. You showed your hand. I know, I really did, I really did. I was giddy. So it's so fun too, how both of y'all knew your husbands

for a little while before you started dating them or realizing that you even liked them. And I think another thing that we put a lot of pressure on is like finding the one, you know? I'm always just telling people like, I don't even think that that's the right phrasing, like finding the one, because I don't even think you realize it when you see them, you know?

It's like, it's not like a treasure hunt where you know what you're looking for and you see it, you're like, I found it. It's like, you get to know, and like, because this is gonna sound cheesy, but it's true. It's like, the treasure really is on the inside and you don't know that until you get to know someone. You know, so it's not like you just see it

and you're like, that's it. It's like you get to know someone and you're like, oh, this is it. That's why, like, as we were talking on the someone and you're like, oh, this is it. That's why like as we were talking on the phone, I'm like, oh, this is different. Like, I really like what you're saying. I'm growing from what you're saying. I'm becoming a better person.

I want to talk to you more. And then you kind of realize, oh, this might be the one, but it's not something you just like stumble upon. Like love at first sight can be a thing as far as when I first saw Christian, I really was like, whoa, he's cute. Yes. I didn't know I was gonna marry him, you know?

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Outgrade your sleep with Miracle Made. Go to trymiracle.com slash woe and use the code woe to claim your free three-piece towel set and save over 40% off. Again, that's trymiracle.com slash woe to treat yourself. So Mel, tell me a little bit about you and Jay's backstory because you knew him for how long? We've known each other now for 15 years.

Wow. So, yeah. That's crazy. It is crazy. Known each other for 15 years, married for a month. So does that enter perspective? Exactly. Exactly.

Help us. So like, OK, yeah. Talk about, because Chidamma mentioned the shift, you know, for her and Michael. What was the shift from 15 years to dating? Well, so when we met, I did not know what to do with him. So talk about love at first sight. I was like, he did not fit in any box

that I knew how to put him in, especially any Christian man-like box. I grew up in a pretty sheltered, not in a bad way, but just very much Southern Christian, Southern Baptist culture. And so I had this picture of what a man who loved Jesus looked like. And I will just say straight up,

Jay does not look like that. And yet he is the man that I would say today, he loves Jesus better than most anyone that I know, in the way that he actually lives out his life. And so don't discount, like what you're saying, don't discount what you assume with your assumptions, because get to know somebody. Because it took us that long.

And that's part of both of us. That's a good word. That's a good word. I just want to repeat that to somebody listening, because a lot of people discount people for the smallest reasons. It's like, oh, well, I didn't really wanna date someone who was a pastor. It was like, oh, why? What didn't really want to date someone who was a pastor.

It was like, why? Like, what if he's amazing? And he's the best. Or I didn't want to date someone who, because for me, even I was like, I didn't assume that I would date someone who was in a fraternity at the time. And then here I am, and I meet Christian, and I'm like, he's the best guy.

And oh, you know, so it's like, you have these things where you think you don't want to date someone because of dot, dot, dot. That's so unfair. That's so limiting to what God really can do. It really is and like I mean I and Jay would tell you be the first to tell you He was like I never thought I would marry a worship leader He was like that was not on the cards like for me, you know, so it's real. It's like a real thing So it's just be open to all of that

But so from like for us we have a gift of becoming really good friends actually coming out of COVID. Like we had, there's a friend of ours, a couple like, and the four of us just started like hanging out a bunch. And even at the time, we were not interested in each other. And I remember my best friend Lauren asking me, she was like, just be straight up with me. She was like, do you like Jay? And I was like, absolutely not.

I was like, so adamant. And it was real too. It was just like, I was like, no. Literally he is a great friend. I can talk to him about almost anything. This is great, but absolutely no interest in anything other than that. And people asked him the same thing,

and we were both so adamant that we did not like each other. And then we just like, we had this gift of getting to know each other without any pressure. And I do think that in dating, especially in Christian culture, we feel like, well, I have to marry this person. You don't, just get to know them. Just think about them under the guise of,

this is another human being that I get to opportunity to just sit here and get to know what makes you you tick like who has God created you to be and maybe if like that our like paths will align and God will have us going together but maybe not you know like there's no pressure for that. So good a lot of people my friends said this recently I was that's so good she's like it's not awkward when you break up if you date well. Yeah 100%. That's true like I mean there is awkwardness if you date well. You know, and like that's true. Like, I mean, there is awkwardness if you date well

for a really long time, obviously. Like there's that. But typically when you date well, and the sense of like just getting to know each other, asking good questions, it doesn't have to be like a super big deal when you decide, oh, we're not actually the one for each other. But I'm like, so glad I got to know you.

Yeah, but you're still like a great human being. I like want you to find the best, you know, like the best and that kind of thing. But for us, it was more of like, we're just cultivating a friendship. And then it was one day, I remember a guy, a random guy called me or like had gotten my number from someone and was like,

hey, can we like set up a phone call? He didn't live in Atlanta. And I talked to him and honestly, it was one of the worst conversations I have ever had with another guy. Like, it was just like, pretty sure he called me a commodity, like basically, or like referred to me as like, it was just like, it was so bad. Like, it was awful.

But in like that conversation, it made me put my conversations with Jay in perspective. And it made me think like, okay, if I date someone, anyone, this random guy or like anyone, my relationship with Jay would have to shift. Like the way, kind of like to use intimacy of our relationship would not be appropriate if I was like in a relationship with someone else.

And I was like, I don't like that. I was like, I actually hate that. And that was like, oh no. like that. I was like, I actually hate that. And that was like, oh no. Like it really just started like putting, and then like I noticed like when we were in like work context, cause we do work together, like if, cause he can be very flirty and he has lots of girl, like that kind of thing.

If he was like flirting with somebody else, I was like, I don't like that. I was like, oh no. Like it's just like all of these like things like started processing. And then like I said earlier, like I started reading back through like all of these things like started processing. And then, like I said earlier, like I started reading back through like all of like what I had prayed for and asked for.

And I was like, I think it's him. Like, I really do think it's him. But at this point, he was not giving any of that. Like, you know, like, and I remember I got the courage to tell one of my friends, I was like, I just think I need to say this out loud. But I was like, I think I like Jay. Like, just to like see like her reaction. And she was like, yeah just think I need to say this out loud, but I was like, I think I like Jay. Just to see her reaction and she was like,

yeah, that makes sense. And I was like, wait, I'm not crazy? I just thought I was gonna get this response of like, no, that's like, why? Like, no, I think that's crazy, you shouldn't. You know? And so honestly from there, I just started doing what every girl should do,

I just started flirting. That is so awesome. I just didn't know, I was like, well, I don't wanna be the one to have this conversation. I don't know what else to do. He's kind of naturally a flirt. I'll just start flirting back. I don't know.

Were you like, that's what you did? Yeah, that's what I did. And he noticed? And he did, but he wasn't letting me know he was not. At one point I was like, am I really bad at this? I was like, maybe I'm just really bad at flirting. Like, I don't know, like. Seriously, I feel like it's easier just to tell someone

like I like you and then they can then ask you on a date or something. But like, to be like, I'm just gonna flirt. That is confidence. I mean, but at this point we had been friends for so long that I was like. He'll see the shift. He'll see the shift and like, if he's interested,

he'll just, I just felt like I wanted him to initiate it. You know, it's just kind of like how I felt about it all. I was like, I don't really want to be like, yeah. And so he left the country to try and run away from like feelings thinking like, yeah. He actually told me that because we ran into, I think it was when we were in London.

Yeah. I was like, how did y'all get together? And he was telling me his version of the story. And he was saying, you know, we were friends. And then he actually was like, she started flirting with me. And I was scared. I was like, so I moved. Whatever the hell it was like.

So I left the country. He went to Copenhagen. He was like, I think I need to go to Copenhagen for like three weeks. So when I come back, everything will be normal. And I won't like her. Like, I don't know. It was just like. That's so funny. He I won't like her. Like, I don't know. It was just like, he like specifically

wouldn't buy me something, I think, while he was there. He was like, I'm not gonna get her anything. Like, it was just like all these specific things. And then I think while he was there, he would tell you, his version of the story is, I made these cookies for my friends that Christmas around that time. And they're oatmeal cream pies.

And I just made them for a bunch of people, some of my closest friends. And so he had his in his car and he came out to the car and was like dealing with an issue. And he's like, oh, I'll have one of these, whatever. And he said, like when he bit down on the cookie and ate it, he's like, huh, maybe she's the one. And I was just like, oh my gosh.

So that's what he would tell you as it was all from a cookie. And that's how we realized that we should be together. Hey, guys and girls are a lot different. Sometimes it just comes down to a little funny. Like, when you hear what's going on in their head, you're like, that's what you were thinking? I was like, really? I was like, honestly?

We're like analyzing every little thing. I was like, that feels so shallow. I said, hey, cookies can take you a long way. And it did. And so we were like, yeah, it did. So finally, we did have a conversation. A word to a girl out there, if you don't know what to do, just bake cookies. Just bake cookies.

Exactly, you're gonna have good cookies. Yes, that is so funny. So y'all finally have a conversation. Yeah, he finally, like, we sat in the car one night and he initiated the conversation and we were like, do we wanna risk it? Like, we knew that it was either gonna be like... Cause you weren't together.

Yeah, I mean, all of it. It was like, we're gonna not have the friendship that we have and it's, you know, either way. It's gonna either go great or we won't have this friendship anymore, but we decided that it was worth the risk. It's cool. It's so cool because there's no like copy and paste

for what works for somebody to work, what works for somebody else. And I think a lot of people are like, opposites attract and then some people are like, it's fun to be the same in both ones. It's like, it really is just whatever God has for you. And I think too, I don't really, this might be hot, hot take, maybe y'all disagree and that's okay, but like, I don't really, this might be hot take,

maybe y'all disagree and that's okay, but I don't really think there's a one for you. I think there's like, I think God, there's like God's best and what God has planned and everything and you wanna follow that and lead that. But I also think like you do have choices and stuff. And I remember wedding dress shopping, thinking about this. Because when we were wedding dress shopping,

every single dress I put on was beautiful. I was like, love it. Stunning. It could be this one, could be this one. And then there were some that were obviously not great and I was like, that doesn't really look good on my body. That's an obvious no. And then there's like the one that you put on

and it like makes you cry and you don't know why. And you're just like, oh, this is the one. And it's not that it's necessarily more beautiful than the others as far as someone else could come in and say, actually, I like that one better. But that's not your one. This is your one. And I feel like that when it comes to picking your spouse, too,

because I'm like, there are people I dated who were obviously not the right fit. Nope, didn't work well. And there are people I dated who were like, you're really cool. you're super nice. Like, could it work? Yes. Do I think it's God's best for either of us?

No. And then it's, I make Christian and like, he's amazing. And like, he is the one for me. And the other people I did are probably married now and have families and it's awesome and they were the one for someone else. But like, I think that God does give you, he put like desires in your heart and you start to see those in someone. It's like, oh were the one for someone else. But I think that God does give you, He put desires in your heart and you start to see those

in someone. It's like, oh man, I wrote this down and I see this in that person. It's something I've always wanted and this is what this person gives. Man, I'm equally as good for them and their own life and what they prayed for. And it just makes sense.

So I just feel like sometimes we, I don't know, overcomplicate things. And it's like, no, God does have like what's best for you. There is like a fit for you, but there's also a lot of it that you get to decide too. You know, like, yeah, it's so beautiful. It's such a gift. One of my friend's dads always used to say this.

He would say like, I don't need to necessarily get to know, like I will get to know the guy. He's like, but I don't even really need to do that because I can first see it in my daughter. Like I can see how the relationship was by the way she is, by her confidence, by how she's walking. And I was like, man, that's so true. Cause when I think back to the ways I dated,

I was different in those relationships than I am with Christian where I feel like I'm my best. So to me, like, what was your relationship like with Michael as far as did you start to see a difference in yourself as y'all started dating and what were some of those shifts? That's a great question. Get to Toronto's main venues like Budweiser Stage and the new Rogers Stadium with Go Transit. Thanks to Go Transit's special online e-ticket fairs, a $10 one-day weekend pass offers unlimited travel on any

weekend day or holiday, anywhere along the Go network. And the weekday group passes offer the same weekday travel flexibility across the network, starting at $30 for two people and up to $60 for a group of five. Buy your online Go pass ahead of the show at Gotransit.com slash tickets. I would say for me, our story is, first of all, God is sovereign. That is why we're together. God is great and he is sovereign.

Because our dating was honestly kind of hard. Like I was saying earlier, we started like hanging out in January. Like he would have said that we were dating at the time. I would have said we were hanging out at the time because I just had a hard time accepting love, honestly. And I had a hard time accepting his love. And so he just pursued me so heavily

and I just kind of received it at best, like, cautiously. And so we actually ended up breaking up. I broke up with him a couple of months after that because I just was like, I, he's so great. He is pursuing me so well. He is showing me Jesus's love in ways that I genuinely have not seen yet. And like, it was freaky to me. And also too, I was like, I don't know if I'm capable of giving you that back and you deserve that. And so I ended up breaking up with him, which is so funny because I would call it a breakup,

he would call it a break. And I guess technically it was a break because we're married. But even the way that like we broke up, like I broke up with him and I'm like sobbing, I'm crying, I'm like basically genuinely having a panic attack and he's comforting me and he's like, no, it's okay. Like God is sovereign, God is sovereign.

And I'm like, I'm breaking it with you. I know, why are you holding me? But God is sovereign because in that time that we were apart, I began to realize, like, not only do I really care about Him, but like, I'm wanting to know God more and also like, I'm seeing God more through him and through his pursuit of me specifically. And so I did start to notice a shift in me of like, oh my gosh, God, if this is even just a microcosm of the way that you love me,

why have I been rejecting your love? Why have I not really embraced your love for me? And so while we were apart, we were only apart for maybe two or three months, but during that time, like, that is the closest that I've been to God. And at that time, probably ever, as I was just like seeking Him and pursuing, pursuing relationship with Him as He was just seeking him and pursuing relationship with him as he was pursuing relationship with me. And so, Michael and I did end up getting back together, spoiler alert, but in that, he genuinely made me wanna be a better person

to love people well. He loves me really well, but something that I love about him is that kind of what we've been talking about, he's not like, he's super sarcastic, like really dry, super funny. And you might not think like, oh, he's nice. Not that he's mean, but like- That's real.

You know what I mean? I think people think that about Christian often. Yeah, he's not like overly, he's probably just told us, they think that about Christian.. He's not overly... People at Lesley and the Spock guys have told us they think that about Christian. Right. I think it's funny.

That's his humor. It's hilarious. Right. It's like, cause you know them. Right, cause you know them. You love them. But sometimes people are like, is that rude?

No, 100%. But he truly has the kindest heart of anybody I know. 100% for Christian. At heart, yes. He is anybody I know. Like he is at heart. Yes, he is a little teddy bear. He is a sweetie. And so watching him like love the people around him and love like he was leading a small group at the time and just the way that those guys were always coming to him

and still to this day, those same group of guys after all these years are like always calling Michael because they know Michael will answer or they know Michael will come. And still to this day, those same group of guys after all these years are like always calling Michael because they know Michael will answer or they know Michael will come. If they're in trouble, Michael will come help them. Like Michael genuinely would do anything for anybody. And that's one of my favorite things about him.

And as I was starting to get to know him at the time, I was like, am I like that? Like it was inspiring me to be someone. You wanna be better. I wanna be better. I wanna be someone that people can rely on. And I want to have that mentality of like, I would drop anything to help a friend

or to help anybody, you know? And he's like, that still rings true today in our marriage. Like all the time, like he'll, it'll be 10 30 and he'll be like, hey, I'm going to go talk to so and so for a while, I might not come to bed for a little bit. And I'll tease him, but it's so admirable. Like it's beautiful that like people know that, you know, and the guys that he leads know that, you know,

Michael would do anything for me. And Michael would do anything for me, which you know what I mean, is beautiful. And so there are so many things about him. That's just one thing, honestly, so many things about him that I'm like, man, I want to be a better person. Like I want to be more like that

because you are trying to be like Jesus ultimately, you know, that's the goal of all of us as believers. And so, yeah, he inspires me a lot. It's cool. I love that so much. Have you all seen that TikTok trend? It's really funny, but I'll have a point in saying this, I promise. But it's like the guys like call each other

and tell each other good night. Yes, I'm trying to get him to do it. So funny. I told Christian, I was like, I feel like if you did that, no one would think anything about it. Cause he's like that. He calls his friends all the time.

They talk all the time. Like they all, like they have such a sweet relationship. Even last night he was like, I had to call my friend. I was like, okay, can you take Haven with you? Like just go drive around in the buggy or something while you talk. He's like, no, cause I really need to be focused

cause I'm talking to him about something he's walking through. And I was like, awesome. Like I love that. You know, like he's so intentional with his friends that I was like, no, because I really need to be focused because I'm talking to him about something he's walking through. And I was like, awesome. Like, I love that. You know, like he's so intentional with his friends that I was like, I think if he calls them and say, you're calling them, tell them goodnight, I think they'd be like, thanks, man.

Good night to you too. Yeah, perfect. It would just be funny. Thanks for calling. It was so funny. But that's so true. And like, same for Christian. He's like sarcastic and dry and his humor is like that.

But then also last night, he was literally, he might come in for saying this, but I was like, this is the side of you no one knows. He was looking at a picture of him and Honey holding hands from yesterday, and he started crying. He was like, she's getting older and I just love her so much. But he is the most tender-hearted person. The way he loves me and the way he loves our girls

is unlike love he has for other people. So I can see some of you are like, what? But it's from the love of the Lord and he has that for his friends and he does. So it's like, yes, it's so special to get to know someone on that level and be so inspired by who they are. That's the thing when people say, like, do I have to marry a Christian? When people are like when people say like do I have to marry a Christian you know when people are like

believers like do I have to marry someone who's Christian and like man you don't want to not marry someone who's a Christian because why would you not want to marry someone who's pursuing Christ you know because if they're pursuing Christ they're going to be more Christ-like right and then in your relationship you get to have a relationship that resembles Christ love peace joy patience, joy, patience, kindness, kindness, all these things. You don't want to miss out on that. So do you have to? I don't know how to answer that question. It's like, why would you not want to desire that? Man, this has been so fun. Mel, just as we begin to close, you want to just encourage our listeners, because like I said, there's so many people leaning in, just wanting to learn about relationships.

Want to learn about singleness. We just encourage the girls right where they're at and whatever encouragement you have for them. Gosh. Well, I mean, just even like what you were just saying, it's like, do you have to marry Christian? I would want to like, the reality is that relationships are hard.

Like whether it's a romantic relationship, a friendship, like any of it. Like relationships are hard, but whether it's a romantic relationship, a friendship, like any of it. Like relationships are hard, but we're made for community. Like you look at who God is, the Trinity, like Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Like we serve a Trinitarian, like communal God. And so there's just so much opportunity to grow and to just to lean into that,

like whether you're single or whether you're married. And it's like the only way, like I know this even being married four weeks, the only way like I am able to love Jay and to love my husband is if I am first like accepting and receiving the love of Jesus. And like we have that relationship, like that is the only way I'm going to have love, joy,

peace, patience, kindness for our relationship. But that's not just true with like my relationship with Jay, it's like true with my relationship with Jay. Like with anyone. And so it's like, abide with Jesus and just let that be the overflow of every other relationship that you have. And you don't have to wait until you're married.

You don't have to wait, like just learn, practice. Like that's all relationships. That's just life. That's just enjoy living in community. Don't shy away from being vulnerable and being real and being, you know, like with people, but just like know that there's opportunity to be fully who God has created you

to be single, married, any of that. Like, and there's opportunities just to lean in, but you have to stay connected to Jesus and you have to be rooted in that. And then hopefully one day you'll look up, and I love like Ben Stewart, I love the way he talks about it. He's like, one day, hopefully you'll look up

and you're running towards Jesus and you'll look to the side and be like, oh, there's somebody else that's like running right there and we're running after the same thing and we're pursuing Jesus together and we decide, oh man, it would be fun to do this life together. Yes, so true.

I love that so much. I love when Ben says that. I had a dream one time, like an actual dream, when I was asleep, not like a daydream. Yeah, I had a dream. I literally had a dream. Me and Christian, and we were running, and we kept jumping over like mountains.

Like we were literally, like it was the craziest picture and the craziest dream and it has stuck with me and it was very detailed. I won't go into all the details. But I remember one thing that like struck me was that we were running at the same speed and we were jumping over all these impossible hurdles together and it was like, this is my person, you know?

And I feel like God will give you that vision. It might not be in a dream, but it might be in a daydream. It might just be a vision of the person you see, like, oh man, we're running together, you know? And like all these things we face that are gonna be hard, like the Lord is gonna help us overcome them. And it's so beautiful. That's what relationship is.

And so y'all, this has been so fun. I truly could keep chatting forever. And I feel like everyone listening is. And so, y'all, this has been so fun. I truly could keep chatting forever. And I feel like everyone listening is gonna be like, why did you not ask about worship leading? Okay, we'll have them back, okay? Chill, we'll have them back. We'll come back. Because we could have a whole other podcast

and a half about that too. You guys are so filled with wisdom and fun, and it's just fun to get to know y'all more on a personal level. So thanks for coming on and being the greatest. So fun, we love it. The best, the best. So good.

So good.