WHOA That's Good Podcast - How You Can Be Happier: Practical Tips & Advice | Sadie Robertson Huff & Dr. Daniel Amen

Episode Date: February 23, 2022

Leading psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen says Americans haven't been this unhappy in 50 years, but there's hope. He joins Sadie to share what he's learned from hundreds of thousands of brain scans, including the neuroscience secrets that can make you happier, how your brain type can influence your happiness, and what practical steps we can take to build happier lives. He also makes the case that happiness is a moral obligation, and being happy can lead us to a better relationship with God. Dr. Amen's new book, "You, Happier," is available NOW! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, whoa, that's good to be and welcome back to the Whoa, that's good podcast. Today we have a very special guest, one of your favorite guests we've ever had on the podcast. We actually have Dr. Aiman again, and I say he's one of your favorite guests because he's his episode, and I haven't even told you this yet, Dr. Aiman. But your episode was the second highest listened to episode of our year last year. And so I know our guests are going to be so excited your back with this new message of you happier, the book that you wrote. And so welcome back to the podcast. I cannot wait to talk to you about happiness.

Wow, thank you so much. That makes me so happy. I know, right? Isn't that cool though? Like last time you to talk to you about happiness. Wow, thank you so much. That makes me so happy. I know, right? Isn't that cool though? Like, last time you were on this podcast, we talked about postpartum. And it was the highest episode of our year. And then this year, we're going to talk about happiness. And I just think that that's such a beautiful thing because happiness is something we all

need. I think it's something that we've all struggled to have sometimes It at your book is so eye-opening because I think even for the person who thinks I'm just not a happy person There's there's hope for them, you know, and it's such a hope filled book and message I can't wait to dive into it But first I just want to kick us off by at the very start of your book You talk about how Americans are more unhappy than ever. And that is a, that's shocking. You talk about the unhappy, they've been in 50 years, which is a long time, you know, 50 whole years. And so I just wonder,

can you kind of shed some light on maybe why we're there right now and why in the past 50 years were the most unhappiest right now? So before the pandemic, depression and addiction were at epidemic levels, and nearly a third of the population struggled with an anxiety disorder, which will not make you happy. And then, it got really crazy.

The pandemic, the societal unrest, the political divide, it just ran us over as a society, the fear, the isolation. Depression was at eight and a half percent of the population in February of 2020, and by August that year was 28% of the population. We just never seen anything. It's like we went to war or we were in the middle of the Great Depression. And so many people, especially children, were hurt. And not as much by the pandemic, but by the reaction to the pandemic. The political divide, the social unrest after George Floyd was murdered, it was awful for so many people. Yeah, and I love this. I talk about it in the beginning of the

book, that happiness is a moral obligation. And I'm guarantee you growing up in Catholic school when I was young, that idea was nowhere to be found. And I'm like, happiness is a moral obligation. And when I first thought about that, I'm like, no, I mean, isn't seeking happiness selfish until you realize how you impact other people. And I can assure you, if you talk to anyone who is raised by an unhappy parent or married to an unhappy spouse or raising an unhappy child, whether or not happiness is an ethical issue. I just guarantee you the answer will be yes. And so I love that. Now, hedonism is actually the enemy of happiness because it wears out the pleasure centers in the brain. And that's why fame is such a trap, because so many, you and I both know,

a lot of really famous people is a high incidence of depression and addiction, because it wears out all by itself, fame wears out the pleasure centers in the brain. And so, I know that's a lot for us on talk, wears out the pleasure centers in the brain. And so, I know that's a lot for us to unpack, but just the idea is that happiness is a moral obligation. I love that so much. I love that.

You know, I wasn't gonna ask you the best piece of advice just because you've answered it before, but I'm just gonna go ahead and say, well, that's good, Best piece of advice, happiness, is a moral obligation. And that's so good. I wanna talk to you of course about fame and all of that and there is so much I'm packing that.

But I wanna first ask you this question that I'm genuinely curious about because I am, I feel like a happy person. I smile a lot. I talk about good things. And I, you know, I believe that the joy of the Lord is our strength. So I feel like I carry happiness.

But sometimes like I've seen people comment on my Instagram that like it's like naive of me that I would be so happy or even sometimes just, I don't realize what the world's going through or I wouldn't be this happy. And I think for me it's hard because the reality is I am painfully aware of what the world is going through. And I know what I'm going through and we're all going through and there's hard stuff. But for me, I think that's where I tag on that like, no, this is a strength for me to be happy.

Like it makes me a better person, it makes the people around me, like I see it benefit the world. Can you talk a little bit about that since the thinking that it might be naive or hypocritical to be happy when things are bad? Well, negative people are gonna want you to feel negative. And that's why social media is such a trap. Jesus died, so we would have life abundantly.

So, you know, where you bring your attention always determines how you feel. And so as a wife, as a mother, you can focus on what's negative and drag everybody down or you can focus on what's right and bring everybody up. And so the news, let's just talk about that for a minute. It's no longer the news. The news is run by organizations that want your eyeballs. And they seek negativity because the brain pays attention to what's negative much faster than it pays attention to what's negative, much faster than it pays attention to what's positive. Because the brains wired that way, and that's how we survived thousands of years ago, we

woke up in a panic because something was trying to eat us. We were their food. Well, that's not true anymore, but we still have that remnant brain, that reptilian brain that is just looking for what's wrong. And it's not helpful. And the fact that you've trained yourself to look for what's right. Your children will be less stressed, your marriage will be better, you'll be happier. And quite frankly, of the billions and billions of things that happened yesterday, there were a whole bunch of happy things. But the news doesn't report that, and so people get focused on what's wrong rather than most of what happened yesterday was loving.

Most of what happened yesterday was awesome. And people who start their day with the news in the afternoon, they're 27% less happy than people who don't start today with the news. So people should write this down. Where you bring your attention always determines how you feel and if you really want to protect yourself from depression focus on what's right way more than what's wrong. It's good. I love that. Come on everybody. It take some time to actually write that down and put that into play. And if you're driving right now, then make a mental note to go back later and write it

down. Such good advice. I love that. I want to circle back to what you talked about with fame because I just wrote a book called Who Were You Following? And the message is very similar to some of the stuff that you're talking about. And my message is basically pointing out the fact that you can follow all these people. You can try to get famous, you can follow the trends of the world, you can follow all

this, but none of it is going to give you the satisfaction of following Jesus Christ. Here you are saying that fame not only can it not give you happiness, but it actually can really hurt your happiness. And I think there's this idea in so many people's mind that if they got famous, if they were a celebrity, if they made it to the top, then they would have the life. And you are sitting over there in California and you're officeing so many Olympians and singers and artists and actors and all these famous people who were struggling to as you put it manage their mind. And so can you kind of speak to that idea that people think that happiness is going to

come in the form of fame or success or all those things and how that's actually not true and why that's not true based on how our brains actually work. So, there's an area of the brain that feels pleasure and it responds to a neurotransmitter called dopamine. The area is called the nucleus accumbens and when something good happens, it hits that area with a little bit of dopamine. But if you hit it too much, too hard, too often, it begins to wear that area out. And you need more and more in order to feel anything at all. And I'm famed, so if you think of, I'm in Justin Bieber's DocuSeries

seasons, where it came out I've been as doctor for a long time. And, you know, to imagine someone so talented, so successful to have the thoughts of depression, or the thoughts that I'm not enough, that other people judge me. You know, he just lived with such darkness.

And yet he had so much. I just listened to Will Smith's autobiography and he talked about it clearly that when you get more, you need more and more in order to feel normal That it really unbalanced as you and in the beginning of you happier I talk about the lies of happiness and one of the lies is you need more that more of something more money, more sex, more of a bigger house and nicer car is going to bring you happiness. Except there's this thing called hedonic adaptation. We adapt to hedonism.

The more you get, the less impact it actually has. So I've written 12 New York Times bestselling books, and the first time was like so exciting. And the second time, not quite so much. And then I needed a number one New York Times bestseller. And I just, and I'm a neuroscientist, so I'm watching myself experience this. And you know, I was blessed, right?

The Daniel plan with Rick Warren, which was a number one, but it didn't really make me happier. What makes me happy is the stories of transformation for people who read my work. That's what really makes me happy. But things that people think like more sex or more money, it just turns out to be a lie. And money is really interesting because there is, you know, as you get up to $75,000 a year, happiness does seem to go up. But then it completely levels off. And when they ask some of the richest people in the world, what would make them a 10 in happiness? They want to 10 times more money.

And that's like how crazy is that. And so it's meaning and purpose that give you happiness along with the other things I talk about. It's not more. Wow. That is such an encouraging message because it's so hope-filled. You know, it's like, you actually don't need anything else to make you happy. And so if you don't need anything else to make you happy as far as, yeah, what you said in anything, really, anything more, what are some of the practical

things? I love how you talk about the micro things that, you know, we have to look for in our day to make us happy. What are some of those things that can start bringing happiness to the person who's listening today who is like, whoa, I've been thinking that if I get this, I would be happy. I'm starting to realize I wouldn't be what would start to make them happy. So in the book I talk about the Shevon neuroscience Sheikler of happiness. And I love the first one so much. It's well, one, you need to know your brain type because not one thing is going to make everybody happy. And that's one of the really unique things about this book is what makes some people happy jumping out of an airplane will make other people miserable.

And so you have to know your brain. And in the book, I talk about five primary types, brain types, balanced. Most things I'll make you happy. Spontaneous where you need novelty, persistent where you love routine and hate surprises, sensitive where you need connection and cautious where you need connection and cautious, where you need safety, that safety and security actually makes you happy. So know your type and then ask yourself every day, am I doing something that makes me uniquely happy? So I'm a combination of sensitive and balance and I need connection.

Like connecting with you, that makes me happy. So know your type. And in the book, I talk, tell people how they can figure out which brain type they have. Did you take the brain type test? I did. I was about to talk about that. I took the brain test. I was a type five. I feel like you're probably not surprised by that because what's funny is as soon as I got down

with the test on your website, it gives you some examples of what might help you and the GABA calming was what came up. And you had already recommended that to me without knowing my type. And so, man, I was like, man, he knows, he knows me well. And you really nailed it with the brain types. But it's funny that you mentioned that

because Christian and I were having this conversation the other day of what would be something on our bucket list that we'd want to do, you know. And then what would be something that we would never want to do even though it's cool. And Christian said, I would never want to go to skydiving. He was like, never making me do that, you know. And I was like, okay. And I was like, I never want to go deep see like scuba diving. I was like, that would like give me such bad anxiety. It

would be so miserable for me. And I was like, and I know it would be cool for you. And you would love it because you love the ocean. For me, that would freak me out. And so we were like making a pact with each other that if we ever get in the situation when everyone's telling you have to do it, we'd be like, no, it's okay if you want to skip out. But I love how in the book you talk about these brain types and even talk about how it's good to know each other's brain type. And so what are some of those benefits to knowing your own brain type but also knowing your spouses or maybe your best friend or your family's brain types?

Well, one, you can just own it. That if you're the cautious brain type, then the things that make you uniquely happy are things that really settle down your nervous system, whether it's beautiful music or a warm bath or massage or meditation and and don't shame yourself because you don't want to go scuba diving or jumping out of an airplane. It's like, you know, it just doesn't fit me. And knowing your partner's type, so for example, the spontaneous type, they love the surprises. And so know that, throw them a surprise party. But the persistent type, they hate surprises. It makes them very unhappy when things don't go the way they think they should go. And so knowing their type, you can serve them, you can nurture them,

height, you can serve them, you can nurture them, rather than expect them to want to be like you. And for marriage, it's really important because a spontaneous person didn't really like routine. So always finding a new and different way to do something is important, where three really likes a routine. And, you know, their safety and predictability, like my wife and I, we have this really great routine. Mostly I'm her slave. You know, I make her a decapcom,

but you know in the morning, and I make her brain healthy shake, and her brain healthy, I've chocolate at night. But I love that because I'm serving her and it's just sort of fed us. And she does all sorts of awesome things for me. But I think just knowing we're knowing were different. It's sort of like the five love languages except with neuroscience. Yeah, that's so good. Christian and I are very similar. Actually, he loves making things for me or setting things out because he is very much a planner and more of a, he's just more put together, honestly, but like it's funny because he makes these protein shakes and You know he makes mine every day and I know how to make it

But he likes to make it for me. So the other day I said, they do like to make me this Who do you want me to start making my own he goes no? I love it like I love to make you this and so I was like Okay, great like keep doing it because I love it too And so it is fun to find those things that you know know, benefit each other. And I love how you mentioned even for me, like a warm bath. Like that would be something that would calm me. And literally every single day I'd take a bath. And some people think that's funny or whatever. And I've even had somebody say, how do you have time for that? And I just say, I make time because it cal me down. At the end of the day, my brain is so overactive. And we talked about that when I came and saw you. And you scanned my brain. Literally, my brain was so overactive. And my brain was one to loop a lot. And even

in the brain assessment test, it asked if your brain gets on loops. And I was like, all the time. That was like the very frequent one. But it's nice for me to get in the bath because it just calms me down, makes me not think about things. And it was cool when I was with you, you gave me that practical advice of putting my hands under warm water. And I just noted that I actually have seen that help.

And I think so many times people, they, especially in the Christian world It's like they just want to like pray through it and get through it, you know, and trusting that God will change them And I want to say to that yes, God can change you and trust God and pray through everything But there are also practical things that you can do alongside that, that help your journey. And I think whenever I finally came and saw you, I was in the zone of like, I just want God to bring me through it and you kind of taught me that, yeah,

like God's walking with you through it, but do some practical things too, like help yourself out here. And I love how so much of your work, it is practical advice, but it also lines up with biblical principles. Just like everything you focus on is how you're going to feel.

Whenever you talk about that and you talked about not looking at the news and the word of God says, fix your eyes on things above. So I just love how there are so many things that go together. So for those who are listening, who are like, okay, wow, like this is really free because I've been trying to muster up this joy in my heart and I've been feeling down in my faith. Don't don't feel down friend. These are practical tips from someone, a doctor who has studied, I know you studied like

over 200,000 brain scans for this particular subject, which I'm sure was crazy. And I want to ask you about that journey of scanning so many brains and I know you taught to people in over like 150 countries or something crazy. What was that like just seeing so many different people, so many different brains? What did you kind of, what have you learned about humanity as you've studied that many people? So many things, your brain is the organ of happiness. So if you wanna be happy, work to have a healthier brain. I did a study of 500 consecutive patients.

I gave them the Oxford Happiness questionnaire and then I scanned them. And people who were low in the happiness had low blood flow to the front part of their brain. So if you're doing things to damage your brain from alcohol, marijuana, other drugs, not sleeping, being overweight, those things can damage your brain and you're going to be less happy, but really focusing on brain health, loving your brain, avoiding things that hurt it, doing things that help it, you're going to be happier.

You know, with a healthy brain comes a happier mind and people really don't understand the physical functioning of your brain, the moment-by-moment functioning of your brain creates your mind. And so if your brain's not healthy, say you played football in high school and you had concussions, and those can have a lasting negative impact on how your brain functions, you're going to have a higher incidence of depression. You're going to have a higher incidence of depression. You're going to have a higher incidence of domestic violence. You're going to have a higher incidence of suicide and drug abuse.

And so, principle number two in the book, we got to get our brain right. When we get our brain right, our happiness is better. And one of the big lessons from scans is mild traumatic brain injury. So concussions. And you know I asked you about that a couple of times when we were together. Concussions are a major cause of mental health issues. And nobody knows that because most psychiatrists actually never look at the brain. And when you look, you're like, oh, and I remember when Justin came into my office,

it was during a hard season in his life. And he just got it. He said, I think I understand what you're trying to tell me. My brain is an organ, like my heart is in organ. And if you told me I had heart problems, I'd do everything you said. And he said, I'm gonna start doing what you said, because sometimes of my celebrity clients,

actually with any of the clients, getting them to cooperate, that's the first major hurdle. And as he got his brain better, he was better. And so that's three. And that's the second major principle that's just so important, protected, loved, and now that your baby's nine month old, it's like, hmm, she shouldn't have a soccer ball with her head ever. That just doesn't make any sense if your brain is soft and your skull is hard and your brain controls everything, including your happiness, shouldn't we protect that? So dance is good, tennis is awesome, golf is great,

but no contact sports where we put her at risk for a head injury. Yeah, I have been so cautious of her already just knowing the stuff that, you know, you've taught me she'll be walking along the little table and I'm like, okay, let's be careful, you know, because it's inevitable that your kids are gonna fall, but I'm like protecting her little brain

and her little head. And so, no, I love everything that you've taught me. And one thing in the book I wanna point out, just some statistics that you wrote about because you talk about how happiness, it is in our control, you know? And I think so many people think it's out of their control, whether it's genetics that our control, you know, and I think so many people think it's out of their control whether it's genetics that they have, you know,

that they just have in their family or whatnot. But you said, it is generally accepted that happiness is about 40% genetics that you inherit from your ancestors, 10% your situation in life or what happens to you, and 50% habits and mindset. So that was so good, because I think so many times we think we just don't have control. This is the cards that life delus. But in everything you're

saying, it seems to be that we have a little bit more control than we think we do. Well, how exciting is that? Is that if you do the right things, you can be better. So much of our health people put off to genetics when it's really our habits and our daily practices. Like I have a family history of heart disease and obesity, but I don't have heart disease and I'm not overweight. Why?

I know it's my vulnerability, so I purposefully engage in behaviors to have the help that I want. I'm focused, and that's the seventh secret is live each day based on clearly defined values, purpose, and goals. And in my goals, I want to be healthy and live a long time, because I love my life. I love my wife, my children, the mission I'm on earth, and grandbabies. I bet your mother's just having the time of her life with your baby, right? Because it's just like falling in love all over them. And so if I love my life, I need to take care

of myself because I never want to be a burden to my children. And you know, one statistic that's just horrifying, if you live to your 85, you have a 50% chance of being diagnosed without a diverse disease or another form of dementia. And it's like, those are bad odds. And I'm hoping, I'm going to live to 85 and beyond, the last thing I would want is to be a burden to the people I love. And I love my six children, but I don't ever want to have to live with them. I just know me. It's like, no, I'm not going to live with you. I want to be independent. But right if that's true, that's true, then I have to make decisions in my 30s, in my 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, so that I maintain a healthy brain.

Right, it's good. Can you think of any stories on the top of your head of maybe some of your favorite transformations that you've seen from getting people's brains healthier? I know, in the book, he talks about an 87 year old woman who decided she was gonna date again because it wasn't good for her brain to be alone. Like I love that.

I can think of any other else on the top of your head that was just a very cool revelation or transformation people had along the process of getting their brain healthy. Well I do this series on Instagram called Scan My Brain, where we've been taking influence viewers and they go through the process and let us film it. And just this week, we released Troy Gloss.

So Troy was a very famous major league baseball player. He played for the California Angels and a couple of other teams hit 320 home runs. And in 2002, he was the World Series MVP. He's 65, he's huge. But he came to see me and he was sad. He was suppressed and he was drinking too much and had forehead injuries. And there was darkness and his brain looked terrible. And he just did everything I asked him to do. Stop drinking, started eating better, really ramped up his exercise, took his supplement, and two months later, he's dramatically better. I'm so happy and I scanned

him. So I have a scan before and after. And just showed how much healthier it was with a better brain always comes a better light. So that's one story that just happened and made me so happy for him, but also for his 10-year-old son. Because one of his goals when he came to see me is I want to be a better dad. If I'm not modeling, being the kind of dad I want to be. And that makes you unhappy, right? If you're not living, the message of your life, like being a good dad, that incongruity

makes people miserable. Wow, that is such a cool story. And I love that it was just a few months later that you already saw the transformation, because a lot of times when we're doing something for our health it's like this long-term goal right which is great and we should be thinking futuristic like I love how you mentioned when I'm 85 I hope to you know have a healthy brain and to still be doing well and not have to live with my kids but it is really cool too when you see

these quick transformations that actually once you start doing these things, it makes you well fast, you know, you start getting better fast and yeah, you get a stick to the long-term goal as well, but that's just encouraging to know. I wanted to just add a curiosity because you put a bit of this in the book about how people who didn't believe in something bigger than themselves have any kind of religion or God or anything like that almost felt more unhappy because of just not really feeling much meaning or purpose in life. And most of our listeners here are primarily religious people I feel like and if they're not, everyone's welcomed to the party.

I love having conversations with all people that are different and learning from all people, but I do know you are a man of faith and from just scanning people's brains or getting to know people who are faith-filled people. Have you found that those people are generally happier or is it a mix of kind of both? So people who have faith,

when they get to press, get better twice as fast, because they have an anchor, they have a sense of meaning and purpose that's not about just down. People who believe we just occurred by random chance and none of this has any meaning, it's harder for them to hold on to happiness. And the purposeful people and people of faith live longer.

Now, that's not to say it's all good news. People who go to church in their 20s are more likely to be obese in their 40s. And it's like, why is that? Well, just go to most churches. The head and cheese. See what they feed people. That's why the Daniel plan with Pastor Rick Warren is our first fight.

So Rick wrote the purpose, driven life, one of this generation's best selling books. And I'm like, you need to lose the donuts. And he's like, but we were raised on donuts and churches and synagogues and mosques should be places of hell, not illness. Right. And so getting, you know, beyond the spaghetti dinners and ice cream socials and pancake breakfast, it's just critical because we know better. And if you know better, you know, it's incumbent upon us to do better because your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit that was given to you by God that was bought for you at a price

of the blood of Jesus Christ. Are you really going to abuse your body? And that was just one statistic I found concerning. And one of the goals I have is to help churches be places of health, not just spiritual health. Because when your brain is healthier, I think your relationship with God is better. Because you just think better. You make better decisions.

And I want the church to be a place of help. Yeah, that makes sense. It makes a lot of sense. Well, I love it. I think this is such a huge message, especially for this time. It's very timely. So if you've loved our conversation, good news for you because there's a whole book about it. It's called You Happy Year. It's another incredible book by Dr. Aiman. If you're interested in becoming a happier person, which it is a moral obligation. So I hope you're interested in becoming a happier person which it is a moral obligation so I hope you're all interested. This is a great book for you and even unpack things about finding purpose

and how to find meaning in life and how to find happiness in your everyday life. Such a good book, such a good message. Dr. Amon, I love talking to you and thank you again for being on the Woodlets Good Podcast. Such great content and such good advice. Thanks, Davey. It's so great to see you as always. you