WHOA That's Good Podcast - Is He the One? Uncle Si, Willie & Al Robertson Have THE Answer

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

Sadie assembles a team of marriage experts — a combined 128 years of marriage advice! — ready to take on a big question: How do you know he's "the one?" Uncle Si, Willie (Sadie's dad), and Willie's big brother, Al, join Sadie for a fun conversation about relationships, marriage, and the only question you really need to ask about someone you're considering spending the rest of your life with. And with these four, you know there are going to be some fun laughs too!  This Episode of WHOA That's Good is Sponsored by: https://helixsleep.com/sadie — Get 25% off Sitewide AND 2 FREE Dream Pillows with any mattress purchase or a FREE Bedding Bundle with any Luxe or Elite mattress order! Exclusive $45-off Carver Mat at https://AuraFrames.com . Use code WHOA at checkout to save! https://ariseforwomen.com — Get this 21-day video series from Covenant Eyes completely FREE! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That's helixsleep.com slash Sadie to check it out today. What's up? Well, that's good, fam. Happy Wednesday, everybody. I hope you're having a great week, but it is about to get, I would say so much better, but it might get pretty crazy for the next hour because I have invited three very unhinged guests on this podcast. However, this is why I asked the three of these incredible men in my family on the podcast. One, they have been the biggest podcast that we have had. And well, that's good because you guys have loved the conversations we've had

with them. But two, because so many of you guys ask for relationship advice. We have so many relationship advice questions sent in to us literally week after week. And I feel like these days people are so picky about who the one's gonna be and you're searching for this like perfect Prince charming and maybe you're just not looking in the right place But these three men on the podcast these bearded men a little while a little crazy have Years of marriage experience under their belt. And so I am so excited. I'm going to get to ask my dad, Willie, my uncle, Alan, and my uncle, Sy, their best

relationship advice and ask them the questions that you guys actually sent in. So I'm super excited about this. By the way, they didn't know this was the topic, but who better to have for relationship advice and people who have been married for so many years. So I'm going gonna start with the question that I'm wondering if you guys will be able to answer. How many years have each of you been married, dad? We'll start with you.

32. 32. 40 for me this year. Wow. Next week be 40 years. That's incredible, Uncle Si. Well, 71, so it's 50 something. 50 something, 53 or 54. I thought you were, 71, so it's 50 something. 51 years?

50 something, 53 or 54? I thought you were saying 71 years of marriage. I was like, I think you're off. What, April 71? I actually got out of the Alpham under contract with the United States of America Army. Okay, and then when I went before the judge, I had to get him to throw out all the three day

waiting periods and all this junk. You know, he said, wait a minute, son, you just got out of a four year contract with the military and you fixed a signed one for a lifetime. I said, yeah, if you'll do the paperwork and okay it, you know, waive the days. You know, so he did. He said, okay, all right.

Could you not do them both? Could you not be in the military and get married? Well, no, no, I was just- I mean, on your contract, I know. Okay, okay. I got out from one to one and then signed one for- I just didn't know if it was like, you had to wait until you got out that far.

I wonder about this advice, you know, I had to wait until I got out of the old contract. You know, you weren't married. You keep making all these new contracts, okay? Say, you do know you weren't married to the US military, right? Well, they thought I was. OK, that was on their part, bad thinking. I didn't live in dreamish mess.

I got drafted. I'm like Ron White when he said, hey, I didn't get drunk in public. I got drunk in the barn. They threw me in That's where I was with the military. That's his marriage advice So how many years do we decide you've been married for it you got 71 do the math just a question by it would be 76 53 years that's incredible.

So we have 53 years. Oh, you talking about it. What are you talking about? That's the day of my mind. He got married in 71. Oh, the year was 71. Okay, I thought you were saying you were. 1971.

Okay, 54 years though is incredible. 54 years. 40 years, 32 years. So you guys can see now while I have y'all on the podcast, this is like a lot of advice that you guys have to give. I mean, it really is incredible and something that I'm so inspired by to look up to so many people in our family with.

The whole key to it is learn to say yes, ma'am at a very early stage in the marriage. Learn to say yes, ma'am. Yeah, that's right. Was that a turning point? A lot of heartaches and a lot of, you know, a lot of presents, a lot of flowers. Just learn to say yes, ma'am, you're right, that's right. Was that an eternal point? Save you a lot of heartaches and a lot of, you know, a lot of presents, a lot of flowers. Just learn to say, yes ma'am, you're right, go ahead.

Well hey, that's good advice because people ask what your best piece of marriage advice would be and so would you say that's one of your best pieces? That's one of the best ones. I love that. And then the next one, okay, no, let me rephrase you. That's the second one. The first one is, okay, do you have a relationship with the Creator?

That would be Jesus Christ the Messiah. That's the first. That's good. Tell me how you feel like, because there's a lot of listeners to our podcast who are believers in a lot, who maybe aren't believers and haven't seen marriage last, you know, 53 years in their life. They haven't seen anyone in their family's marriage last that long. How do you feel like your relationship with the Creator, with the Messiah has actually impacted your long-lasting marriage?

Hey, it's everything. It's good. Okay, because, you know, I was sitting watching TV today listening to Christian pop music, okay? And I was thinking about the whole world. We're very unappreciative, okay? And I was thinking about the whole world. We're very unappreciative, okay? Number one, God created all this wonderful creation for us, okay? All the food that's there for us, you know, the fish, the mammals, the fruit, the vegetables, okay? And most people don't even think about that

You know all of that was here for you to begin with okay It was there you didn't have to go look for it. It was given to you You know and all of it is a gift You can't pay it back. You can't earn it You know all of it's a gift. So yeah. I'm also thankful for TVs to watch Christian pop music. I know that maybe. Something else to be thankful for.

No, no, I'm serious. There is not enough appreciation because we've got, the United States of America is the greatest country on earth. Anytime you drive by somebody's house and there's three annual automobiles sitting in the, and then they're going, woe is me. You know, 90% of the country is obese. Okay.

Okay, look. You know, and they're all waiting. Oh, man. I'm laughing at obesity. I'm laughing at obese. Well, I'm just upset. Obese. No, it ain't 90, it's 65, look. You know, and they're all white. I'm laughing at obese. I'm laughing at obese. Well, I'm just, wait. No, it ain't that, it's 65, too. That's the real.

Well, you've got obese, and then you've got obese. Well, no, no, but I'm just saying. That's not part of that either. You're not part of that. We really don't. Only in this country can a man have a trip-wide trailer with a daggum American flag on the top of it, Chad. That should be seen from space.

Look at it from the satellite. You'll see his house. I love what you're saying. The one thing we have been really trying to teach Honey is gratitude. I think we probably say to Honey at least 10 times a day, are you grateful? Are you grateful to do that? And then she'll be like, yes, I'm grateful. Even before she'll be like, hey, mommy, can I have a popsicle because I'm grateful? But we're just trying to teach her like,

you should be grateful for the things you have and the opportunities that we get to be a part of because it is a gift and it's so easy to just, you know, think that's normal or think that's life. But no, you gotta be grateful. This is something that's not promised to us every day. And I wanna say something about Cy and Christine's relationship because obviously I was around early to watch them and Cy been in the military for 24 and a half years?

Four and a half. And had what four tours at least overseas you and Jeremy? Yeah, no, I spent twelve and a half years in Europe. All right, so half of that time. Plus the one in Vietnam. Half of that time in Europe. And so, and I'll say this for all military families, me just watching side Christine,

it is not an easy life to have somebody gone for months or even a year at a time to come home, to take care of kids, to move your whole family without your husband being there. And look, Christine did all that on her own. I know it. And so that's why I'm saying. I would just leave, okay?

She would take care of all. I've always appreciated it. I mean, 54 years of marriage would be amazing for anybody, but for a military family, so I think it's even more amazing. Yeah, it is. It's a strain, cause okay, like I missed a lot of my kid stuff.

Okay, and I always said, I thought I was a horrible father until Christine, when I would say that, when I was down on myself and having a pity party, she'd break out the photo album and say, well hey, what about this right here? What about this, y'all? They got me in, I don't know if everybody's ever seen, y'all, They got me in, I don't know if everybody's ever seen it, I was Easter Bunny, a six foot three, pink Easter Bunny

in full costume, okay, delivering eggs to all the kids. Okay, so stuff like that, she would break out the photo album and say, well, hey, no, you don't, when you was home, you was home all the way. Yeah. Okay, it was, you know, I'm all in, in other words. It's good, it makes me think of that verse, like two are better than one, you know, and it talks about like pity a man who falls

and has no one to pick him up. And like it's those moments in marriage where you really see that verse come to life because you're down on yourself. People, if you haven't been affiliated with the military, they have no idea what sacrifice the wife goes through when her man goes off to war and has to go places. Because she's gotta be both mom and dad then.

Yeah. Yeah, so it's a tough goal and a lot of marriages are lost because of that, okay? Because of the stress that's put on them for being alone. Because hey, two can fight better than one. You can turn back to back, you don't see them coming from every direction. It's good.

Okay, by yourself, okay, they can slip up on you. Yeah, it's good. That's so beautiful. You know, Uncle Allen, you and they can slip up on you. Yeah, that's good. That's so beautiful. You know, Uncle Alan, you and Lisa were just on the podcast recently, and that has been one of our biggest podcasts, not even just in numbers of people listening to you, but just the response people have had,

just learning so much from your story and your marriage. So that was kind of what inspired me to bring y'all back and talk about relationship advice. I know you gave a lot of advice on that podcast, but what are some of those things that you look at and go like, man, this is the best piece of advice I could give after, you know, 40 years of marriage. Y'all with two toddlers, a three-year-old and a one-year-old, sleep is, you know, sometimes rare, but so important when you get it. Good sleep is such a

difference-maker when it comes to mental and physical health, and thankfully, Helix is here for it, fam. Christian and I have a Helix Midnight Mattress that we were matched with whenever we took the super simple Helix Sleep Quiz. We love it because it is not too firm or not too soft. It's kind of right there in the middle, perfect for both of us, and we're side sleepers,

so you know what, they even take that into account. Ever since I got my Helix mattress, I truly sleep so much better, I sleep so great. I'm not waking up with aches and pains, and in fact, whenever we travel now, I can't wait to get back home into our bed because it is the most comfy, which, saying a lot, because hotel beds are nice sometimes,

but nope, our bed is the best, Helix is awesome. Having a Helix for the past three years has legit given me some of the best night sleep of my my life and that's saying a lot with toddlers. It conforms so perfectly to my body while I sleep you don't have to toss and turn you just are comfy right when you get in. No mattress can compare like I said right now you can get 25% off site-wide plus two free dream pillows with any purchase so any mattress purchase you're gonna get two free dream pillows but if you also order a Lux or an Elite mattress, you'll not only get that, you'll get a free bedding bundle,

which includes the two dream pillows, plus a sheet set and mattress protectors. This is a great deal. Go to helixsleep.com slash Sadie. Again, that's helixsleep.com slash Sadie to check it out today and get some better sleep. Well, and as you know, because we shared it on your podcast, our marriage was just sort of had, it's not two halves, but it's 15 and 25. I mean, there were two really different marriages because the first one was a lot of struggle. You know, Jesus wasn't a part of our heart, even though we were out there in the church kind of hiding in plain sight. And then when Lisa finally made a full, all-in move to God, you know, obviously everything

changed for us as we talked about. But so my advice comes more off the last 25 years is when you both finally get in the same lane and you're both finally going for the same goals, is really just to be there and help each other in that journey. I mean, Lisa's amazing. She does so much to encourage me just by the way she is. And a lot of things I'm not good at, she is.

And so we do that together, you know? And I mentioned on your podcast that the first advice I got was never compliment bad cooking because you'd eat it the rest of your life. And it's funny because your dad's here now and I don't know if dad told him that as well, but since your mom can't cook, I guess in his case it was be prepared to cook for your marriage, right? Because that's what happened. I mean, you know, didn't have to worry about compliment bad cooking. It just never really took off. That's the greatness of marriage, though, and I'll use a wagon with horses, two horses.

Yeah. Your first few years was rocky, OK, because y'all was harnessed. You was married, but you was pulling different directions. You wasn't working as a team. And when things got right, when God moved in and got the marriage got right. Then it wasn't pulling two directions.

Well, the way we describe it, Zy, is we say the first 15 years of our marriage, we were playing tennis, but we were playing singles tennis. And then the last 25 years we decided to pay doubles and our enemies were on the other side. But we were now engaged together as part of the project. You were talking about smack, take that, smack, take that. Well one day she was stacking it on the rack as I...

No, no, and it was together. Yeah, it was exactly. Take that, you evil one, get out of my house. That's the way I look at it. So I was basically combined tennis and MMA fighting. Just in case you're a visual learner, let's say this podcast. Oh no, no, no, you'd ask Miss Cave, she was here right now, okay, you got to fight for your marriage. That's true. That's her line. Look, it's just like a garden.

Okay, if you're gonna want good vegetables in your garden, then you're gonna have to prune, pull the bad weeds and throw them away, and then you're gonna have to nurture your garden. Well, you, your relationship, marriage relationship, you got to nurture your garden well you your relationship marriage relationship you got to nurture it. That's great. You're good with analogies I think that's like the tenth analogy he's given on this podcast. The battle rages okay that's why I was saying hey smack him y'all. Because it does the battle is raging here guys. The evil one, hey, and guess what he attacked. He attacked the family unit.

Yeah. It's very true. All right, Dad, 32 years into marriage, what's some of the best relationship advice you have? Well, God, they gave all the good ones, so they're gonna be hard to beat. Way behind in this race. You gotta dip into the side analogy bag.

Yeah, he's got more analogies. Well, yeah. I mean, I've always said try to give more than you take. Just from my mentality, it's kind of like back when we used to have things called checkbooks and

Me and Sy still have. You still got a checkbook? That's one I'm still struggling with. Me and Sasta. You still got a checkbook? Yeah, that's one I'm still struggling with. Do you know, the other night we ordered pizza and the guy shows up at the door and I'm like, Mom, do you have cash? And she's like, do you take a check? And he's like, no.

That was this week. Hey, check? Check? What was it called? 1996, do you take a check? She was about to write him a check for the pizza. Man, good thing he, yeah, what was she gonna do next, barter? She ended up, I said, I'll just call and give him my car number.

We'll trade you some eggs and cheese and whale blubber. I'm like, hey, look around, look around, do you see anything if you like? It was funny, because she was kind of like far away, and I was at the door, and she's like, ask him if he takes a check, and I'm thinking like, he doesn't take a check door and she's like asking if he takes a check and I'm thinking like he doesn't take a check and I'm like do you take a check by any chance? He's like no and I'm like alright I'm just gonna have to call and then mom was like I found cash and came running in. I don't know what this says about our marriage. I didn't know she had a check. I didn't know we still had one. I thought that was a check. Maybe this is to be a counseling session. She has a checkbook. But you know, she never has cash.

That is true. I was surprised she pulled out his cash. I wasn't there, obviously, because I am the bank. It is true. She comes to me for cash. Well, you weren't there, obviously. I'm an ATM. You too.

Because we ordered pizza. Because mom wasn't cooking. Which means I'm not there. Yeah, that's true. OK, but back to the checkbook. Yeah, so I never did balance it, just because I never could figure that out, but I would always just know,

I've got to put more in than I spend. And so you just kind of had this knowing. And so I feel like that's marriage as well as to where you're giving and not just taking, because there'll be times where you'll tend to take way too much and just like a checking account, you can overdraft that sucker, you know, and then you'll have problems down the road if that happens.

Also like the teamwork, I mean, I think when you figure out how to work as a team, I love that, I actually love that tennis. It's actually really good, yeah. Definitely been there before where you tend to fight against instead of fighting together. Mm-hmm. And also I think, you know, for us, especially is just try not to take yourselves too seriously

and laugh and have fun. You gotta have fun. You gotta do stupid stuff sometimes. Because everything's so serious, you know, in life. And so I think sometimes we can get too serious. And so sometimes I think. You're gonna do stupid stuff sometime. Because everything's so serious in life and so I think sometimes we can get too serious and so sometimes I think. Well, life is too short to be miserable.

Yeah. You know, I like what you said at the beginning. Keep it positive. It's so true. Okay? Keep your relationship as far as it is up to you. Keep it positive, laugh a lot, and smile a lot, okay? The material we...

The worst thing you can do is go through life miserable. We use material still to this day, well it's been around a few years that Bill Harley did, and it's called the love bank model, and it's just what you were describing. I mean it's a bank analogy about when you're putting more love into the relationship instead of pulling out

all the time, you're going to build up a bank that's going to be there for the difficult times. You're going through the rough seasons. And so just like your bank account, it's got to work. It's God's thing. What did he say? He said, it's better to give than receive. The giver always gets more than the receiver.

Always. He always does. I love that you are talking about laughing at yourself. And I feel like all of you guys are really good at laughing at yourself. I think that's like a Robertson strength and something that's really valuable in our family is the ability to laugh and not take yourself too seriously, not take life too seriously. And I remember Christian and I got some marriage advice before we stepped into marriage and they said, there will be a moment in an argument where you're both mad and everything's heated

and someone does something kind of funny. You know, it's like you say something that didn't actually make sense or something happens externally that's funny. And it's like, your pride tells you, do not laugh, do not laugh, like hold it serious, cause you're gonna be mad. And the person was like, just laugh.

Like just let the argument break. And there has been times in our marriage where it's like everything's heated and it really does happen where somebody would do something just kind of stupid. And it is hard to laugh in those moments, but allowing yourself to kind of laugh does help a lot. But hey, laughter is a good medicine, okay?

Because if you're having a bad, serious argument, screaming at each other and you Most of the times if you're clear you had and look step back and look at what you're arguing about or screaming about It ain't worth it ain't worth the effort you put into it. Yeah, there was sheer stupidity to begin with That's the kind of arguments I'm telling obviously they're a bigger moment So there are some stupid arguments you start, and then you're like, we are literally fighting over the fact that there's tomato sauce on the carpet.

Like, it can be the dumbest stuff. But this is kind of funny. This week, Christian might make me take this out of the podcast, but this is just hilarious timing. So we have been just not seeing eye to eye this week. We were just frustrated each other so often. Well, I don't know if y'all noticed this, but Christian has been growing like a really good beard.

And his beard was looking good, but in my mind, I'm like, I think the beard's the problem. I think the beard is like making you like too serious or something, like I don't know if it's like boosted testosterone or like. I'm so proud of it. Yes, what has happened? So I'm just like thinking in my head,

like I think he needs to shave. I think we need a fresh start. And so we're on a walk and I'm like, I think you should shave your beard, which Honey said something first that kinda gave me the opening. Honey's like, daddy, you should shave your beard. And I'm like, yeah, you should shave your beard.

And he's like, you think I should shave my beard that you've been saying it looks good? I'm like, yeah, but I think we just need like a fresh start. Like I think that the beard is just like making you take yourself too seriously or something. And he goes, do you know that's why I shaved my beard three years ago? And I was like, what?

He's like, you said the same thing to me three years ago when I had a beard. And I was like, it is the beard that proves my point. And said then- This was wrong with all of us. No, he shaved his beard, I promise you. It was the only one I told you, Mons. There was a difference in his personality yesterday.

He was so much lighter. I was like, I think he just needed the baby face back because that beard was taking life too seriously. So I don't know if that has obviously been fine for y'all, but sometimes you just need to shave your beard. You just need a fresh start. And the past two days has been great. I've never heard that.

Well, we actually looked it up if beards make your testosterone levels higher or something, and it said, no, it doesn't. But I personally think that there's something to that. Really? No, seriously. And I wasn't saying it to be funny. I was like-

And were you pulling his beard like at night when he slept and stuff? I mean, maybe you were secretly sabotaging this. I was just like, it just, he took on a new persona when he had the beard. It was like more like just serious, like his personality. Yeah, and I was like. Now what does this beard,

was this beard like a Captain America looking beard or was it Michael Cera? It's a small beard, yeah. It looked good, okay? It looked good. And everyone was like. It wasn't like a Captain America looking beard? Or was it Michael Cera? It was a small beard, yeah. It looked good, okay? It looked good. And everyone was like... It wasn't like a, you know... No, it wasn't crazy.

Here's my question. Was it splashing your face? It wasn't even me. It wasn't, I was like... No, no, it's the attitude he had. The attitude came with the beard. It was producing toxic masculinity. That's what she's trying to say.

It was the feel. It was something deeper masculinity. That's what she's trying to say. It was something deeper beyond the surface. But anyways, that's just my small theory. Well, before my beard, I had a super feminine accent. Remember I was like, I often got mistaken for a woman on the phone. And then when I grew the beard. People started calling him Willa.

My voice deepened. I learned something there. That's when I grew the beard. People started calling him Willa. Willa. My voice deepened. I learned something there. That's when I, actually, you know what's interesting about the shaving of the beard. The last time I shaved my beard, do you remember when this was? Shave, shave, not. I do remember when it was,

but I remember you walking in the house without your beard, but I don't remember it like a year. Ella was young, like two maybe. I mean, that's how long ago it was. So I thought, in my mind, I thought Cory was gonna be like, oh, look at this, look at what I've been missing out on. Yeah, I didn't build this up, you know? Like, why would you cover this up?

Not the reaction. Completely opposite reaction. Please put it back. She went, oh wow, it looks so different. And I'm like, that's not a good reaction. I haven't shaved since. Lots of us have parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or friends who aren't the most tech savvy. If there's someone you love who isn't, you know, quite up on their tech game, but you still want to share memories and photos of precious moments with them, then look no further than an AuraFrame. AuraFrames are Wi-Fi connected digital photo frames, but they are so easy to use that literally

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so don't miss out terms and conditions apply. Well, you know what, like mom always says, it's like I was married to two different people like before the beard, because you had like blonde tips, no beard, and then after the beard and you had like long hair, long beard. But I wonder if it's more than just the look. I wonder if it's too different because you act different with the beard. And a deeper voice.

So hey, who knows? That's just like a little sidebar for marriage advice. Now that we're older though, and Sy just found this out too, because Jase did this a few years ago, when you shave your beard off at our age now, it's a huge mistake. Because a lot has happened under there. That was rough.

I mean, a lot has happened and it hadn't been good. None of it has been good. That turf needed covering up, man, that needed some hay back on it. Mia just busted out ballin'. of it has been good. None of it has been good. That turf needed covering up, man. That needed some hay back on it. Mia just busted out balling. I mean, that tells you all you need now.

We all did. Like, I wasn't sure if he was healthy. My favorite was Phil was making it feel like, hey, did you see that face? He's like, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That's what you'll look like if you do that. That's why I never shave my beard. Well, that's good.

I'm gonna tell Christian, don't shave your beard. Like you can shave your beard now and then later in life when you're older if you want to have, you know. Remember when Phil shaved his beard last? How do you remember? 1988. It was a bet at church. I remember, 88 was the last time I saw that. It was a bet at church. I remember. 88 was the last time I saw that.

It was a bet at church with him and the preacher. And so the preacher, Dad had to shave his beard and wear a suit, I think, to church. And I forgot what the preacher... And so the dad lost the bet. Did they pull that off? He did it. But it was such a... The preacher had to leave the ministry. That was what he did. Oh, oh, get rid of him. He's been bitter every single day. He lost his job over the past. He's now an atheist. He's very bitter.

That is so- But Phil's face, it looked like somebody took a samurai sword and cut off half, I mean, he looked like he had no chin. I just remember looking at him going, he is the strangest looking man, because his, like my face is this size. And so like like he was like hey and I'm like man that's this too weird.

Y'all's is yeah it's so long and so thick that it would totally change the shape of your face. It's your face up. My face size is this big. That would be so crazy to see you. I think we were like living at two mama's house moving into our new house when you shaved your beard because I remember you walked into mama's house moving into our new house when you shaved your beard. Cause I remember you walked into momma's house and I remember you, like I was looking at you like,

and you're like, do you notice anything different? I was like, I couldn't figure out what I was looking at. I was like, what is that? Ooh, what is happening? Which is the same when you cut your hair. And I was like, I thought that was that natural. Yeah, none of y'all recognized me. Including dad.

Willie comes in and sits down, and Dad looks over and gives him the nod, which means somebody just wandered into Dad's house and never says a word to you. Well, we start talking for like 15 minutes. And then finally he said, Will? Well, he just said, who are you? And I was like, I'm your son. Yeah, I didn't know who you were.

I thought you were one of Gary's friends. I didn't know who you were coming in said. I thought you was one of Gary's friends. I didn't know who you were coming in. He came in like he owned the joint. But you knew when he gave you the knife. He didn't know who you were. That was so crazy. OK, getting back to relationship advice, though. This is where you knew this was going to go.

Well, I threw it out there when I knew talking about Christian's beard scenario was going to take us on a whole rant. But actually, when that's negative. I was curious. You know, you're saying that was a negative. It was. That's what scenario was gonna take us on a whole rant. But I'm actually when that's negative. I was curious. You know, you're saying that was a negative. It was, that's what I was saying. It's off-brand for us. It really worked for y'all because y'all have had beards

in 52 years of marriage and you know, we're five years in and I'm thinking the beard's not working for our marriage. I think we should just go clean shaven. It's in earlier, that's true. So, hey, to each their own. Okay, this. I like he's ugly. No, that's why I'm like, don't cover that face.

Right. He looks so good. What if I said that to Cory, like your hair, and then she's bald, you know? Like. Well, I was approaching it gently. Well, I solved that problem. I was approaching it gently. I was like, perhaps that had to do with it. All of our problems have been your hairstyle.

Hey, I can see it, she comes in with her hair. She comes in with a flat top. I'm like, oh, okay. You woulda said my hair. Whatever it takes for the relationship. There are certain things that, I don't know if this is true, maybe this is bad advice, but I feel like there are certain things,

like the guy should not say to the girl, but the girl kinda can say to the guy. Where it comes to like hair, you can be like, hey, I think beard or no beard. We're all aware of that. Yeah, but like, if you were like. We would not be married this long if we didn't learn that one.

That was the thing. That's a number one. That is true. You don't mention. That is true. Because if I said, hey, I think maybe no beard is better, you look so cute, whatever, it's fine. But then if Christian's like, man,

blonde over brunette or whatever, that would be like, dude, for real? Mom had a golf ball sized thing on her throat and I didn't say, I mean, obviously I recognized it and I'm like, I ain't gonna be that guy. She goes, it's like, I've got a thyroid problem, like did you notice this? I'm like, kinda.

No, you said yes, I thought you were growing an apple. That's what you said. You think I'm gonna say it? I'm like, nope. But this is where the- Somebody teed up a golf ball, I'm like, I ain't saying a word about that. Sadie, it's like the-

Hey, Jip is the word. It's like the classic question, does this make my butt look big? And the answer is, I love your butt. Yeah, see, there's no- You gotta know your spells. We don't get into any sort of, I love your butt. You have to know your spouse and what they need.

And some people like Bella. Bella loves honesty and she can take, well, I don't know if she can take it. You know it's one of those, you can dish out if you can take it. But you know, you know the spouse. And I know Christian can take that comment from me. But he also knows that I don't want to take that comment from him. So don't tell me what I should do with my hair. I love the honesty podcast. This is it right here. Yesterday, mom's talking to me and I'm looking at her feet and it looks like she's been like

running through a burn pile. Like, like her feet look dirty and I was just like, why your feet, your toes kind of look dirty. Yeah. I was like, what is that? And she was like, I don't know. Yeah. I think it's my 20 minutes later. She was like, okay, I'm going to get my toenails straight there to get them done. That is so true. That's hilarious. Okay. So one of the biggest questions, I'm not kidding. We get this question asked so many times. Anytime we say, what do you want to stop at in the podcast, people always ask the question, how do you know if the person is the one?

And it's actually kind of sad because there's so much anxiety around this question. It's like, how do you know if he's the one? I don't want to make the wrong decision. And a lot of people asking this question, there's a lot of people who are single asking this question more generically, but a lot of people like, I'm in a relationship,

I'm scared to make the wrong decision kind of thing. And I don't know if that's because they know, like they're red flags, I need to get out. Or if it's just like this big anxiety of how do you choose the one to commit to a lifetime. Like you said, you're going into this contract for a lifetime, it's obviously a huge decision. Thinking back on that time of your life,

how did you feel confident enough to know, this is the person who I'm going to marry? Did you feel 100% confident, maybe even as a good question? But we'll circle back to that. Dad, you wanna go first? Yeah. I mean, I may have to carve that question up and really think about as to why that's the case.

I don't know, I could ask Sonia, since you guys are older than me. really think about as to why that's the case. I'm not going to ask Son-Alice, and you guys are older than me. It seems like that may be a more nuanced question, 2024 type question. I'm not sure if that was the same 50 years ago, if that was the biggest burning question was, and maybe I'm wrong.

No, I agree. In fact, I was going to say in my and Lisa's relationship, and we would disagree if she were here, she would say, even her mindset 40 years ago, that I was the one. I mean, she had been in love with me since she was young. She mentioned that on the podcast. But I didn't believe that then.

I still don't believe that to this day. I don't think there is the one. I think there's the one you decide I want to spend the rest of my life with and commit to this person. That's the way I viewed Lisa then. It wasn't like I was like, oh man, she's my soulmate forever.

She was the woman that I knew. I'd just come out of the world and I knew she loved me. I knew that she thought I was the one. And so, but I didn't view her the same way. I thought I'm making a commitment. I was like, Sy, I was like, I'm all in. I'm a brand new Christian and I want to live my life with this person. And I knew it wasn't going to be easy. And so what's happened to our marriage over the course of the years,

I made a commitment all in. So we went through a bunch of difficulty, but I was still committed through the process no matter what. So I never viewed it as sort of this mythical thing about the one. I just think it was the mindset of this is the one I want to spend the rest of it. And once you make the call, we're in. I mean, we're committed. We're going to get through this. We're going to get through whatever shortcomings.

So in my case, well, I definitely didn't view it that way, 40 years ago. But if Lisa were here, she would say she did. Well, I think that's better though. I think it's good to not look at it like that because I think if you view it as like there is one person out there for you, you have to find the one. Then I think if you get married and then you go

through hardship, it leaves more room open to be like, did I choose the wrong one? That's right, I made the wrong one. Where it's like, no, it's not like you committed to this person and you didn't make the wrong decision. That's not like, oh, there's someone else out there who would have been more perfect for you. I think that the thing is, like someone said it like this,

like, could you marry this person? Yes, is this God's best for you? And that's kind of whenever I was dating, I was kind of looking at it like that, like I could marry this person. I don't think that this is God's best for me and where I'm going in life. And that kind of helped me make that decision.

Whereas like when Christian and I came together, I thought he was absolutely incredible. He is the one for me. I knew he was the one. I felt like he was God's best for me. Our lives were aligning, the dreams that we had, passions we had, our morals, everything was like aligning.

Was it perfect? No. Is it like some kind of, you know, I found the unicorn in the world? I think that's the thing. Cause I think when you put that pressure on yourself to find it, it's of, you know, I found the unicorn in the world? I think that's the thing, because I think when you put that pressure on yourself to find it, it's like, you're doing it. Like you have to find the one.

And if you don't, what if you miss it and then you set yourself up for failure? I don't think it's like that. You find the person you feel like is God's best for you, you make a commitment, and then you go through life together, committed to the covenant you made for the Lord. And you have God, you know, helping you stay together.

So I love that you said that because I actually think it's that mystery. It's that it's the one, what if there's another person? What if I do this and I make a mistake that like puts people in that anxious state? It's not necessary. Friends, you know, I'm never one to shy away from messy conversations or inconvenient truths, and the truth is that there is an epidemic in our churches with women who are struggling

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Friend, there is hope and there is freedom for you. Go ahead and jump into this study. And I think that's how people, especially now, we try to make sure, do all your, we're like, let's say you're on a vacation. You're like, you want to make sure everything's perfect. And a lot of times you're like, now, because you're like, oh, this is not what the picture looked like.

And this is not, and so we're trying to do that with human beings and people. And so I think you definitely need to look at warning signs. You definitely need to look at, oh, this person is not, you know, we're not lined up on this, or they don't seem as fun, or they, man, they got angry really fast. You know, there's things that you can look at.

I think parents play a role in that, where they came from. Obviously religion falls in that or how they view that. We're all gonna change. I mean, I would think I'm a lot different than I was at 18 years old, you know, just where I'm at now versus where I was then. But I knew Cory had a lot of the same,

the same things that I liked. We liked being together. And then we had went through with marriage counseling, we went through, you know, just even telling your stories and where that's at. So you definitely look at that. But I think when you say, is this, you know, the one, then I start thinking, well, okay, what does that mean?

Is it the one in my 20s? Is it one in my 30s? What will happen when there's children? What happens if something happens when there's children? I mean, it's hard to go through all those scenarios. And you don't know. That's deeper than what you always just the one. Okay, and it's more profound than that.

Okay, because you're hitting on the stuff that you need to look at. Look at the parents. How are they? What are their beliefs? What is their mode of operation? It's deeper than that. How does the mom treat the dad?

How does the dad treat the mom? How do they view their dad? How do they view their mom? All those things are so important. You're looking at two things, okay? Two individuals, okay? Male or female, okay? And just, you've got baggage,

you've got excess baggage, both of you. So, you know, you gotta be realistic about what you're, what you're, you know, what's going on here. What do you want out of this relationship? You know, what are you willing to put into this relationship? It's deeper, it's deeper than most people go, oh, is he the one or is she the one?

That's childish. Okay, you come in the real world. That's good, that's so good. You're two different individuals, come in the real world. You're two individuals, you was raised different than he was raised. They believe different than he was raised. They believe different than they knew that, y'all.

So it's profound. Okay, so you need to be looking at it realistically. Yes. Like you're talking about. What have you got in common? Yeah. You know, what have you got in common? What are your beliefs?

Or do you think alike? Because you're gonna have differences, okay? Are you okay with thinking differently? It's not, I think when I hear the one, it sounds like some kind of idealistic euphoria of like, it's always gonna be good. Yeah. Because that was the one.

I always felt like it leads that way. Hey, this miraculous. But you know what happens? Well, when you look at it that way, and that's where you go into it, Sadie's right, then you can also bring into it if they're not the one. But then the other thing is you leave no room for growth. In a relationship, it has to have room

to grow into something better. And I think Lisa mentioned this when we were on here, but she's recently been dealing with breast cancer and doing amazing. But she said, because we looked at it, she was more of the mystical look, me more of the practical, we're just gonna go through this life.

That she said, and I was a little surprised when she said it, she said, "'Now I know how much you love me.'" And at first it kind of took me back and I thought, well, babe, did you not think I loved you for it? She said, no, I knew you did. She said, but I didn't know the level you did until you took care of me through this cancer stuff.

And so I realized that was a growth on my part that God had brought into that. So I was in for all in through whatever happened. And so that has grown the relationship and the marriage in a good way. It's the thing about, okay, are has grown the relationship in the marriage in a good way. It's the thing about okay are you willing to put in the time? Yeah. Okay? That's right. If like you've got to nurture this relationship okay it's not miraculous okay two people coming together that male and female it's not

miraculous. You're gonna have to put a lot of work involved in this, okay? There's a lot of things that you're gonna have to overlook and just accept. You know, it's a, it's a, like you, I guess the best way to say it is like you told me, you gotta grow together. Yeah, that's good. I think too, like, I love how we're kinda talking about,

it's not this miraculous, this mysterious thing. It's like, are you the one? Where's the sign from heaven? Where it's more profound than that, it's more practical than that. It's like, do you align and the things that are important in life? Is your faith at the center?

How does their family do things? How does their family do things? Do you see yourself going in the same direction whenever you're- That's why I said, okay, the relationship with the Creator, with the Messiah is super important. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, because when you two come together, okay, male and female, then children start happening. Okay, then it's a two ball game, totally. New season. This is funny. So thinking about the fact that you said this is kind of a 2024 question, I do think when you think about why people think that way, I mean, think about all the movies, you know, it is like serendipity. It's very miraculous. It's kind of cheesy almost because of how everything aligned

and it is full of signs and the butterfly feelings and all the different things. And there's a part of that in relationship absolutely whenever you're first dating and it's all fun and stuff like that. Well then you throw in, okay, and that is a lot of it out there, okay. He grew up without a father.

You had mom and dad, you were nurtured by your whole coexistence. Well, he didn't have a dad to show him how to be a man. So you got some serious issues are gonna be happening. That's why it's a normal thing, okay, just to tell you about me, okay, when I thought, me and Christine, I actually called my mother and had a discussion with her and was asking the same question they asked. How did you know dad was the one?

Yeah, and mama told me, she said, hey look, you know. He said, hey, he was my cousin, so. There's a little truth in that. Yeah, there's some truth. No, no, but I'm just saying, okay, you gotta look, okay. Next podcast. This is more, especially when you say, okay, she didn't have a dad growing up, okay? There's so many human issues that come into play here.

That's why I said, hey, no more you gotta be realistic. Yep. Okay, this is not miraculous, and hey, don't trust me. Hey, you're gonna have to get a job. We're not gonna be able to live off of love. We're gonna have to have a house to be living in. I mean, knowing Granny and Paul though, I don't know that they sat around often and wondered,

I wonder if I chose the right one. It was more of a roll up your sleeves mentality of survival. And you know what I'm saying? Love and we're committed and I'm not saying it has to be like that. That's why I said, hey, you gotta be realistic about this. Yeah. But I think Sadie's right when she says, you see that, especially in movies,

and that you see it now on social media. You're looking at somebody who's putting all this stuff up where it makes it look like, and you're like, oh, I want that. And so I think a lot of people are waiting because they're going, oh, I gotta have the perfect one. And so the reason we've all been married a long time and we look as young as we do is because a lot of that time

where a lot of people are spending waiting to find that out, we're already married. And so we're already sleeves rolled up and doing that. I think Al and Lisa were right. You don't know. You don't know if you're going to be courageous or you don't know if you're going to be courageous, or you don't know if you're going to sacrifice until the situation comes up.

It's kind of like, if you think about presidents, like, you go through the greatest presidents, oftentimes it was because there were some world challenge or some national challenge that they stepped up, and they pulled that off. And other ones just didn't have the opportunity because they didn't have the same challenge. And that is marriage. I mean, you don't know. Like, when Cory and I were, you know, dating, just didn't have the opportunity because they didn't have the same challenge and that is marriage. I mean, you don't know like when Cory and I were dating,

we didn't go through, okay, let's go through when we adopt a child and this happened. I mean, those are, you don't see that until it comes, you can see some traits and you can hope and let's face it, we can also just be like, oh, you're totally not, you can change or sin can come in or other things can happen. Or you're not courageous, you're not sacrificial or you wander off and say, that's it, I'm done with this. Which is why the faith component is so important that we have something bigger than each of us

even to help pull to. Because sometimes that's gonna happen. Our marriage verse, our life verse is Philippians 2, 1 through 5, because in there when Paul is talking to the church, he's talking about trying to have better relationships. When he gets to the end of it and talks about looking out for each other's interests better than the other, and he gets to the end and says, your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. So he gives you that ultimate example to then go to, because he knows it's gonna be difficult.

And who had a more difficult time on earth than Jesus did, and he wasn't even married. And so, but he shows us what it takes to do that for one another. So that's why it is important. I mean, Lisa and I never began the path we needed to until we got on the same page spiritually. And so to your audience, which is obviously younger,

I would say work toward those goals now. Because when you go through those things later, you're gonna need that. I mean, you're gonna need each other, but you're gonna need something with the Almighty. I always say it this way. Let me go check with a higher power. See, I think the thing that's-

I'm not quite sure how to handle this. Let me check with a higher power. I think the thing that's- I'm not quite sure how to handle this. Let me check with a higher power. I think the thing that's hard nowadays for those listening, especially the younger crowd, is that, we have the Bible to learn this from. This is like the truth of God's word sets up the picture of marriage, what God brought together, let no man separate.

We have all of these things. But people aren't reading the Bible, then you don't have a structure of truth. You don't have something to learn from. And then if people don't have parents who they've seen that example from, then they really don't have that. And so they are learning from social media.

Your picture of marriage is only what you see on social media, which isn't the place to share all the hard stuff. I mean, there are ways you can share some of that. You can be vulnerable, but in what, a 30 second reel, you know, a one post slide. Most are not. But you can't see, and most are not.

Most are not gonna show. None of us are gonna. You're not gonna show it? Not even is that the place to show it, I don't even think. I think sometimes it's not like, it's not like, oh, I'm not trying to be super real on Instagram, it's just like, I don't feel like that's the place to share

all of the vulnerabilities of my marriage, you know? And so you can't look at that and go, man, this is the whole picture of marriage because that's not the place to show the whole picture of marriage. Or then you look at movies. Well, that's a created script and a line. So if you don't have your family to learn from,

if you haven't gone to the word to learn from, and this is your picture, then it does give you a skewed perspective. And I actually have an example of this. The other day, Honey came up to me. She's all dressed up in her prince's outfit, which is very on brand for Honey. And she walks up to me and she says,

Mommy, let's do a true love's kiss. And she turns her head and she puts her hands on my face and she kisses me and she backs up and she goes, that didn't work. And I was so funny because I watched the movies with her and all the moments, as soon as they had the true love's kiss, it's like magic. Like, you know, the princess and the frog,

they turn from frogs to humans. Like, all the, something magical happens when the true love kiss. So Honey was like, we're about to have a true love's kiss and something's about to happen. And then we kissed and she goes, it didn't work. Like, nothing happened. And I think

that's a small example to show what a lot of people walk into when they walk into marriage without knowing that having a realistic view. You know? You better be realistic, okay? Because, you know, life is tough, okay? You know, and like you're talked about, okay, when the storm hits, okay, if you don't have something to anchor you down, what are you gonna do? You know, cause it's like the deal about, hey, if you won't stand for something, if you won't stand up for something,

well then you'll fall for anything. Yep. And I think another thing is not even, not even the social media or that, we will look at people like, let's say you look at mom and I and say, well, look at that, there's 32 years of marriage. Look at the kids, you know, that's another thing.

Like, did your kids turn out, you know, good? And so, but you forget, Al mentioned his marriage verse. Ours was, for the first 10 years, was Jesus wept because Cory cried every other day that we were married. And so I had this unique way of making her cry every day. Cory wept. But you don't know that, you don't see that today, do you? Like you don't factor that in.

You don't, you know, and so once you factor that in, you know, I'm in the first year, Cory about 10 years into marriage, maybe 15, and Cory's like, yeah, we got married that first year, and I remember like, oh, and after a year, I was like, what was I thinking? And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn't know, were we, was that open information?

I didn't know what we were thinking. She was like, well, you know, it was hard. I was like, what were we thinking, get married? I was like, well, you know, it was hard. I was like, what were we thinking? Get married? I was like, I literally never thought we said, why did we get married? But apparently you were one year into this. And so you don't see the struggles which you come through. You will tend to look at and notice what the good things are,

which is great. But it's that you have to- This is so good though. It's that, you know, is it the one? And so I can look back, and I always say this about, you can look back and go like, no doubt, this was the one. I dated other people, Corey dated other people, looking back in our lives, it's like,

oh, for sure, this is the one. It's impossible to look forward and try to wager that and guess like I'm gonna guess exactly what that is. Or I'm not gonna get in a relationship until I know for sure. And sadly, a lot of people are just lonely waiting for what they think is the one. Mm-hmm.

What made you the man you are? Both of you. What made you? Biology? I don't know. No, no. What made you the man that you are? I don't, come on, Dr. Si, I don't want to play this game. Why don't you just tell me what the answer is?

Just tell me what made me the man you are. I'll tell you what made me. Your hardships. All the hardships you went through, okay, it made you who you are and it also made Cory who she is. Yep. Yep. So true. Here's what happened, the storm arrived. Okay, if you do it correctly, you come together and fight the storm.

If you do it wrong, you try to separately do it separately, it's failure. Yeah, it's so true. Everything you went through that was hard, okay, made you a better and a stronger man, and it made her a better and a stronger woman. You're right, Sam. It's so true, and actually,

it's so cool to hear y'all say this. This is why this is such incredible advice, especially for the young audience, because it's so much better. We talk about relationship advice all the time, but I've only been married for five years. But get someone here who's been married for 52 years, 40 years, 32 years.

Now we're talking real wisdom where you can look back and say these things. And I just think that a lot of people, just like that honey analogy, you go into marriage and you think it didn't work because you're not feeling the magic. She didn't feel the magic. You're not feeling the magic, things aren't working out.

And then you think, oh, I picked the wrong one. And then people end their marriage so soon, but I love how you're looking at it. And you're like, man, the first 10 years, this happened. And then for you, like 15 years, not that y'all didn't have great moments in between, great things happened. You had kids during that time, all that stuff,

but it was really, really hard. But yeah, you stayed the course, and now here you are 32 years in, and you have just built such a beautiful legacy. You have kids and grandkids, and we're working together in this beautiful thing. Had you have gone in and said, well, that didn't work, you would have never seen it.

I mean, Memo and Cam Pue and Pebble Phil are such a good example of that, because had Memo K just said, that didn't work, you know, that was definitely not what I was expecting, but they stayed together and through. It would have altered everything. It would have altered. Everything would have been altered. We would not be here right now.

It's not that it's not fixable. I wouldn't even be alive. Yeah. That's right. It's not that it's not fixable, it just would have altered from what you see now. And I think that's a great, I think it's a super great point because you, I think sometimes Sadie and perhaps some of your listeners

may think, well, I'm not interested in what they're talking about. Like, I'm not interested in this, however you're living your life, I want to live exciting. And this is, like you guys are, they're not thinking about being in that moment and all our ages, but I promise you will be.

You will be when you get to this point in your life, you will hope that you know that you can leave and you have the security and you have the love and you have the trust and you have all this hardships that you that you've been through because I'm telling you when you you know there will be a time in your life when it's not all just in your 20s and just you know everything's so exciting and we're just going to travel and we're going to do this I'm telling you you'll want this this peace in your relationship at this age. No no I'll use the Robertson family and use Phil Robertson as the center point.

Okay, if Bill Smith had not went to Phil Robertson and preached the gospel to him, none of us would be where we're at right now. None of us. Nope. Destinies are determined by decision. Oh, no. And it's usually a decision to fight and to do what's right.

That's why I was saying, okay, determined by a decision. And it's usually a decision to fight and to do what's right. That's why I was saying, okay, everything that challenged you, okay, has made you a better person. Because, hey, like you were talking about, you went through it. Yep. Oh, you're not interested in what we're telling you?

Well, you're not interested in what we're telling you? Well, you're not interested in life. Okay, because trust me when I tell you, the storm's coming. Okay, whenever it hits, you're going to have to deal with it. Okay, and that's why I said, hey, if you don't have a relationship with a creator, you're doing it alone, and tough gold, tough gold my man or lady. Tough gold my lady. Come come my lady.

But I'm serious, I'm serious okay. Hey life is tough okay. You're not wrong. Well and it's not even, I think it's probably the storms will come about like they do in life, you know what I'm saying? We don't live through, it's not storming every day. You know, they're gonna crop up, they're gonna blow through. In a lot of days it's gonna be great.

Me and mom have our waves, because you gotta, this is what, I love this quote, you gotta learn to ride the waves of life that slam you into the rock of ages, because it will fill light waves sometimes. Sometimes you're gonna be riding the wave surfing it, sometimes you're gonna be under it. Yeah, you're gonna be under it. Yeah, you're gonna be under it.

Yeah, and you gotta learn to ride the wave because seasons come and seasons go. But you just can't factor in all the possible. I hear people, I can just hear them talking about, it's not always just marriage or the right relationship. I hear it about jobs and I hear about, should I live here? It's about everything.

It's all of it. Just overthinking everything. What did you, yeah. But you can't factor in. You can't, you can't know. Sometimes you just gotta go, you know what? Or does God want me here? Wherever I'm at, God's there, you know?

He's here, He's there. He can be here, He can be there. You can't go where He ain't there. And I think sometimes we try, you know, we're gonna try to map this out. And the Bible never says, here's your, Jesus went and left and said, here's what I want you to do.

Try to figure it out. I want you to try to figure out what's gonna happen. That would have been a great game because he said, I know you don't. And he never said, try to figure it all out. But man, I listen to people going, it's all about, I'm just looking for the sign. And we talked about the signs

and Christianity can be the same way. It's like, well, if I see a sign, well, man, we're all the way and Christianity can be the same way. It's like well if I see a sign Well, man, we're all the way back to you know We're all the way back to the New Testament people looking if I see it if I know it if I knew for sure And now we're losing the faith part like I'll say you're losing the faith and the adventure And we're you know Here's the answer to this I figured it out

No, no, here's the answer to this. Don't try to figure it out. Just trust. Yes, and- Just trust and try. God will redirect you. Trust God and try. That's all you gotta do. That's it.

I like that. Trust Him. And look, this is how you, when it happens, and you go, well, that was so easy. Well, to that point there, Dad, the New Testament, it really kind of breaks down the argument because, you remember whenever Jesus, they were going to a place and it said the spirit of God would not let them in. So then they went to the next place. And I think about

Paul and it's like, God actually was like, do not go, what was it? Like, don't go to Jerusalem. He's like, I'm going to Jerusalem. And it's like, that's such an interesting theme because he actually was not led to go to Jerusalem, but he went to Jerusalem and he endured hardship, but he also preached the gospel there. And so it's like, I feel like God, you're with him. He's with you. You know, he's with you everywhere you go. If you're not supposed to go, he will redirect you.

If you get there, he will sustain you. If you endure the hardship, he is there with you. And I think so many people, yes, you try to figure out like, what is God thinking and looking for the signs and stop looking for the signs. Like just walk with him. The Holy Spirit is guiding you. He is leading you.

The signs will not save you. Yes. Okay. That's why I was going to add this, you need to read about Job. Okay. God turned Job over to Satan to do what he was. All he could do anything he wanted to except not kill him.

You know, so hey, you need to learn at an early age, patience. Okay. Trust and try. Trust and try, sir. Trust and try. Try and be patient. And be patient. Be patient. What did you say? You said, you know, destiny. Trust and try. Try and be patient. And be patient.

Be patient. What did you say? You said, destiny is determined by decisions. Is that what you said? That was such a, well, that's a good moment. That's so true. And I think when it comes down to it, the anxiety comes around making decisions, you know,

especially deciding who you're gonna marry, deciding where you're gonna live, deciding what job you're gonna have. And in your 20s, you're filled with so many decisions that you get so much anxiety about making them, but you have to decide because it is determined by your decision. If you do not make that decision,

you're stalling your future, you know? And I think to your point of like, you're gonna wanna look up one day and be like, man, this is where I'm grateful for where I'm at. It's kinda like, you know, we were talking about wanting to have kids young. Okay, well, if we I'm at. It's kind of like, you know, we were talking about wanting to have kids young. OK, well, if we want to have kids young,

gotta get married young, you know? And then we were like, we want to have our kids close together. And then after we had honey, and then I was like a year and a half out, I was like, OK, well, if I want them to be close together, then I don't need to have them, you know? And so to, you know, so much of it is up to the Lord's timing on those things, yes, especially getting pregnant.

But there is a cost in your things, but it's like, okay, if this is where I want my life to go, I have to make a decision, or else it's not gonna go there. And so if you are in a relationship with someone right now who is showing you all the signs that he is not the person you're gonna marry, you have to make a decision to break up

and get out of the relationship so that you can be prepared and ready to say yes when the right person comes. If you're in a relationship right now where you're like, we are 100% gonna get married, but you're stalling for whatever reason, you gotta make a decision. If it's a job, you just have to make a decision

because that's what's leading you where you're gonna go. And trust that the Holy Spirit is in you and guiding you into those places. You're not gonna mess it up if you are staying, if you're just staying in a conversation with God, you're not gonna mess it up. And even whenever you go through those hard times, He is with you, you just gotta learn to ride those waves alongside of the Creator.

And so honestly, I've learned so much from this conversation. I'm like, this was amazing. I honestly thought this podcast could go a lot of different ways. I thought it might just be so crazy with the three of y'all, because y'all are so funny and we can go all these different places.

But there has been so much depth, so much wisdom, so much advice that I've personally taken. That was one of the things that surprised me with the bunch I'm with in my park, yeah. Okay, because people asked advice, okay, and there's four of us in there, and we each give our take on it.

And I was shocked, I didn't tell them, I said, I figured all four of us are a bunch of dummies. I said, but I was just shocked at the good advice we do give people. It's great, I mean, the fruit of your life does the talking. No, no, because I told Al once when him and Lisa were having trouble, I said, wow, now you know how Jesus feels. And he said, what are you talking about?

I said, well, if nobody's ever harmed you or done you wrong, you have no idea of what forgiveness is until you have to make the choice. Oh, he hurt me. Do I forgive him or do I hold it against him the rest of his life? Editors know too, when Sy says no, no, that's a positive, not a negative. That's not no, I disagree.

If he says yeah, no, that means no. No, no is yes, I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's actually good, no. That can be very confusing to a lover. We'll put that in the show notes. Here's the thing, okay? In my travels, y'all, here's what I see in the world.

A lot of misery. Number one, I do not see enough smiles. Number two, I don't see enough laughter. Number three, I don't see enough laughter, number three, I don't see nobody joyful, okay? And the reason they're not, they're not realistic. Okay, that's why I said, okay, the first and most important thing is you've got to have a relationship with the creator.

You don't even get on obesity. Obesity. Obese. Creator. Yeah. They don't even get on Obesity. Obesity. Yeah, hey. Obese. Hey, what, you saw that by kicking away from the table. Oh, that's hilarious. Oh no. That's just a good one.

Get away from this table, Sam. Hey, that's a freebie, boy. I just know we're having so much good advice. No, but honestly, so much good advice. And just, I have to say in wrapping this up, to young people, like to have people like y'all in my life, I'm just so grateful for. Uncles and a dad and grandparents

who have set such a beautiful example of marriage and faithfulness to the Lord. I am so grateful for that. And I know not everyone has in their life. And I'm so thankful that you guys came on my podcast to share that. Because I do think a lot of the advice we're taking is from influencers that we see and different things.

And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Influencers are great. Social media is a great tool. But you also need to look at, you might not have thought Uncle Si was going to have a bunch of great marriage advice. But why not? He's been married for 52 years.

You need to surround yourself with people who actually, the fruit of their life does the talking. They have longevity to the advice and the wisdom that they're giving. They're able to look back and take from things, not just give it to you where you're at. And I'm including myself in that. Here I am doing this podcast week after week,

and I'm learning alongside of you from so many different age ranges, so many different people, and I'm so grateful for that. You need the generations, you need to learn from those who are older than you who have actually walked the walk. And so I'm so thankful for y'all coming on the podcast. This was incredible. Thank you guys for sending in these questions.

We really do value all the questions that you ask and really do think about who can we bring on to really speak into this, and I think you guys nailed it. So thank y' all so much.