WHOA That's Good Podcast - Korie and Willie Robertson's Arguments Are a Love Language

Episode Date: April 28, 2021

Sadie is joined by her mom, Korie Robertson, to share an inside look at what it's really like to raise kids in the Robertson household. Check out the fun stories, raw honesty, and timeless advice, including why kids don't need perfect parents, how to keep comparison from creeping in, why you shouldn't treat every kid the same, how to stay on the same team with your spouse even when you disagree, and how to be intentional about parenthood long before you ever become a mom or dad. Then, Sadie and Christian offer advice on how you can weather a breakup without being consumed by bitterness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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What? What are you doing here? And we have this amazing set of happening. So good, I love it. Yeah, up great. Since the last time you're on the podcast, I probably called you on my phone, probably. Are we doing your bed frame?

You're old bed frame for a while. We did, yeah. And that's okay. And but thankful to be where we're at. This is awesome. So my first question for you is, how have you dealt with a lifelong pregnancy brain syndrome? Oh my goodness, it's so funny, so sadie.

We were just talking about how sadie is going through pregnancy brain, which I kind of live with my whole life because I'm super forgetful, so I'm like, what kind of my world? Yeah, but I'm like, how did you do this like your whole life? Because I, it's trying to be crazy.

I can't remember anything. I miss two appointments this week. Oh my goodness. I've called Christian John Luke three times in one day. Actually, I think it's being a mom. Like I think I used to say when our kids were little, like I am not ADD at all. Like I just don't have that personality type.

But when our kids were little, I was like, people probably think I'm ADD because I can't focus on one thing because you're always your brain's thinking about which kid or what you have to do or what did you forget or what activity you have. So you're just starting out, but yeah. Even in the state of like,

I'm thinking about all the work I have to do, but I'm also thinking like, could I go and deliver like today? Yeah, so just in the mind of a mind and kind of thinking about other things. work have to do, but I'm also thinking like, could I go and deliver like today? Yeah. So just in the mind of a mind and kind of thinking about other things. Yes. Well, that's not really my first question, but what is the best piece of mom advice that you have for me?

Okay, best piece of mom advice. This is going to sound really simple. I like it. It's stick with me. But here we go. So really, my best piece of advice is just to enjoy your babies and your children. Enjoy every single phase. And why I think it's important is because it's like, you know, it seems simple, but actually, like parenting can be hard. Like nursing is painful.

Yeah. And there's a lot of diapers to change. And there's a lot of just day to day. And I remember times when you're just like, okay, counting down the minutes, till they take an app and you can like sit down for a little bit. So I think it is important to like remember to just find joy in your children. And that's the best gift I think you can give your kids is to just like delight in them and let them know

that they are a gift to you and that you love them. And part of that is really just, yeah, find and enjoy and just the little things. I love that. Actually, it's really cool because I remember, like whenever I started to get older and you hear people complain about their kids all the time, I was like, I wonder if my mom thought that about me.

That's a good point though, because even if you did, you didn't ever make us feel like that. And you didn't ever make us feel like we were like a burden. Like, we were just like your kids and we knew that you loved us. So I do remember when all these moms started saying this in front of me and I was like, I wonder if my mom like says this kind of stuff. But again, I didn't. I did.

I've enjoyed every moment with you. Actually, there were times that were hard. There's no doubt that that's part of parenting. But I do, I did really, you know, I think it's important to be a positive mom to speak good things over your kids, to say positive things, even in your internal life. As a mom, sometimes if you can get this, this is terrible and this is hard and this is this and this is that. But if you speak things over, even over yourself, that's good.

That's good. It makes a big difference. I think that's good because I do see a temptation in our generation to, it's like for the sake of vulnerability and authenticity, we actually are just being negative, you know? Yeah. And so we're like sharing on Instagram all of these things, not really realizing that we're actually just being quite

negative, but we coat that with vulnerability authenticity. And maybe that is vulnerable, and maybe it is authentic, but it's also just negative. Yes. And so I think that that is really a good perspective to look at it and be like, let's just try to be positive and also acknowledge it's hard.

So you can also be vulnerable and say, this is really hard, but I'd take delight in who my kids are. Yeah, that's really good. That's a really good observation, Sadie. Yeah. And not that I was always perfect in it. I remember one time specifically, I had four little ones like under the age of six and I just kind of got into a pattern of like when dad would come home from work or we would see each other for the first time in the day I would tell him all the bad things that happen that day like you know John Lincoln's had you were fighting and Will and Bella dumped out of the cereal and

At one point he was like, you know, you're actually really being negative and it hit me because like I don't want to be that person at all and I remember making a conference conscious effort to change that because I was like This is not reflecting how I feel. Like, I really love being a mom of these four kids, and I enjoy it, but instead I was just sharing the bad, rather than sharing the good you know. That was kind of a shift for me. That's awesome. That's probably, I think that's really a common thing, because even in this is us, and

I'm a part of it, remember we were just watching? Yes. And if anybody watches this is us, shout out to this is us. If you're listening, you're even in this is us, and I'm a certain member we were just watching. And if anybody watches this is us, shout out to this is us. If you're listening, you're on this is us, we love you. But they were talking about how Rebecca was kind of like nagging on the kids and they're so bad, and we finally get a break. And then Jack was like,

so I'll tell you what our kids are, they're so too burdened to us. So that's so cool. Okay, so speak in terms of social media and just kind of that what I've seen, what I've observed from where we're at right now with like parenting styles. What do you see as like maybe one of the biggest differences between the way your generation went about raising kids and maybe the way that ours is? Yeah. So I would say, I think maybe one

of the hard things for y'all is that you're getting to kind of you feel like at least you're seeing how everyone else is parenting Like you see all the other moms and like how cute they look pregnant or how they you know True or how you know they're nurse for two years and are they you see all the details how they literally work out every day while they're pregnant They're crushing it and they're making homemade baby food every single day. And so you're seeing this. And I think that spirit of comparison can creep in to motherhood really. As moms, mom guilt, we all talk about mom guilt

and have been for a long time. Because it's a thing. You do feel like, oh, am I doing the best for my kids? Am I doing that? And I think now with social media, that can even be stronger and harder. I remember when ours were little, we didn't really know what other moms were doing. We were just gonna do it our own thing, you know?

Like we would show up to church and like be like, oh, can you believe she has on heels and she has four kids? Like that was the only comparison. It was like, who's wearing the heels at church rather than like showing up with like, hair and a ponytail and like barely making it, you know? That's the thing. And they're diaper bag this pack perfectly. Like that's the it, you know? That is great. And they're hyper bagless packed perfectly. Like that's the comparison, you know, at church on Sunday.

But otherwise we didn't really have that. I don't think to the extent that you guys have it. So I think that's something that you need to, you know, you'll have to really fight again. And you know, fight against that comparison and feeling like you're not enough because you're not doing it the way someone else might be doing it. Because God gave you your child, God gave that your baby to you for a reason because you're the perfect person for that you're not gonna be perfect

Yeah, but you're perfect for that baby and you know, I think just remembering that that like and and our kids don't don't need us to be perfect You know, they need to be real that they need to love them and delight in them and feed them and all those things, but they don't need a perfect parent. They have that in God. I love that. That's so good. That's been one of the best pieces of advice that we've gotten from so many people,

including you over the past nine months, is that you have everything you need in you to be a mom. So you can Google all night long and you can look up everything and have every app. But at the end of the day, like, you're qualified. Yeah. You're equipped. Like, because that's how God has made you. So obviously we probably have people listening who aren't moms. Yeah. A lot of people listening who aren't moms. And I know this is mom, month, and we're talking about baby stuff because I will have hopefully by the time this comes out,

had the baby. But for the girls who aren't moms yet and desire to one day be, maybe they're still even single, they're in college and high school, how can you start even preparing yourself to consider maybe your future children one day? Because I remember you've said stuff like, when my high school teacher said this, I knew I wanted to adopt and I knew that the word was strong and kind. So one of those things that you can intentionally

be thinking about towards one day eventually being a parent. Yeah, I think that's a great question. I think, of course, number one is prayer always, you know, start praying for your future spouse. If you're not married yet, start praying for your future children and their future spouse is, you know, God is in control and he is bigger, his plans are so much better than ours. But other than that, I think it's working on yourself because our kids see what you do and how you add more than the things that you say to them. And so when I talk about even about being strong and kind and what and that for y'all then I was like Oh, that means I have to be that for myself. You know, I have to live that out like if we want our kids to be courageous or you want them to be

We want them to be Generous or you want them to be any of those things. It really has to start with you You know, and as a mom you're really set the tone in your home Yeah for you know what you could see and how your kids act. And so, not trying to put all the pressure on you, but it is that is a big important thing. So I think really just kind of working on yourself and making sure when you have these babies and these children that you're able to kind of show them and model a life that's

abundant in Christ Jesus. I love that, that's so good. All right, so you are really close to all of your kids. Literally all of us, we are all super close to mom. Not only are we close, but we all think we're the closest to where all of we all would say, I don't know, I'm her best friend. Definitely, I thought it was her the most.

It's just unspoken competition between the siblings. But that just proves that everybody loves you and feels really loved by you. For those moms who have a lot of kids, how do you manage making every kid feel equally loved? Aw, that makes me so happy that you say that. I think that, well, y'all are my favorite, so I mean, that's true. But I think one is time, like it does take a lot of time,

you know, kids don't just need quality time, they need quality time, they need time to be able to talk and speak and they need attention. And so I think that's a big part of it. And then I also think it's just like knowing your kids and knowing what they need because everyone is so different. Like your whole message is live original because that calls you the original. But like each one of y'all are so unique and so original and God made you so differently and really just kind of like recognizing that and noticing that in each kid. And one thing I try to do is just like,

you know, if I saw a skill or a gift or a talent in you that God put in you, just like connect you with someone else, you might have that gift or talent. It's cool. And I try to do that for each of y'all, just kind of notice that and call that out in you. That's cool.

And so I think that's important, really just trying to get to know each kid, not treat every kid the same, but say like, oh, okay, what is the gift that God's putting in Sadie? And how do I kind of call those out in her? I think that's true for friendships too. Like, if you have a big friend group, it's like, how do you make sure every friend knows that they're loved by you?

And I think that comes with quality time, quantity time, but also just knowing what your friend needs. Because there are some friends, like, I could not talk to for a month But then I call them and we're like right back at it. Yeah, nobody cares. Yeah, there are some friends that if I don't reach out to you for a month That's gonna make them sad, you know, and so just that intentionality is huge I was just thinking about how your time was you you did let us in on your time and how we would all come sit at your bed Somehow at the end of the day like somehow we'd all end up like on your time and how we would all come sit at your bed somehow at the end of the day. Somehow we'd all end up on your bed and eventually you'd be like, okay it's time for bed and none of us would listen and you'd be like, okay it's time for bed and too much later you'd be like,

okay I'm not even kidding everybody get out of the room. So there was a boundary, there was a line. It was like, okay it comes from time you sit in the bed but it's like, I can do it actually. I'm not kidding, I'm gonna say it again. That's true. And we'd all like scrumbed, but we all like waited until it got to that point. And it was like, okay, it comes from Thomas and my bed was like, I can do it actually, I'm not gonna say it again. I would all like scream. But we all like waited till it got to that point. It was like wait for it, wait, it won't run.

I would say it nicely a few times. Like, all right, well good night, love y'all. And then everyone's stay and I'm like, all right, love y'all. I'm like five minutes later. All right, I really do love y'all but leave. Yeah. Okay, so they're obviously our hard seasons and parenting and we kind of talked about that

that that's not negative to admit that it's hard that's real. And I mean I can remember putting you through some hard times and I mean first of all Mangyall did fight a lot and we were little. We did. I mean we became those friends eventually we we fought a lot. And then middle school hit and I was uber dramatic. You were a little nice middle school. I mean, that was just ridiculous. I mean, to the point where it wouldn't be like, if you were wearing outfit that that you look cuter than me, I'm like, I'm gonna go put on a better outfit like with my mom. It was

a problem. Like I was very dramatic and emotional. Anywho, I got that coming for me maybe in about 13 years, hopefully not. But my question is how do you get past those hard seasons of parenting? Because now I feel like you know obviously they're still hard things, but you're in a sweet season with a lot of your kids. And so how do you press pass the hard ones? Yeah, I think it's knowing that it is a season, you know, now, of course, where I am now as a grandmother, I can look back and be like, Oh, that was such a short time. It feels like such a short season that middle, this middle school years, and I'm like still saying that, yeah, that's the hardest years with kids, I think, because all the hormones and everything can be crazy.

Still have time. Yeah. Three middle schools everything can be crazy. Still have time. And you had three middle schools. That was crazy. That was crazy. And each kid, there's certain I think common traits about each stage, like toddler stage or middle school stage or high school stage, but everyone's so different. So then as having six kids, you have to figure out,

okay, like, oh, what are they going through? You were super emotional and all this. And then Bella went through kind of like separating me. Like she was kind of exerting her independence during that and I was like, okay, what do I do with that? So you do have to figure all that out but I think knowing that it is a season, I try to live my life that way in a lot of ways.

And like, you know, I can do anything for this for a little bit and I know that God's got this and he's gonna bring us through it onto the other side And I've seen enough in my life to know that like okay. Yeah, God is faithful. He will bring us through and so I Think just kind of holding to that truth and holding and knowing that that brings you through this hard times That's good. It's like that verse that I love he brews in 35 So then do not forget the confident trust that you have in the Lord for that would be registered awarded Then it goes on to say like patient endurance is what you're gonna need

Yeah, see the will of God in your life. So it's like In order to have confidence in God you have to have seen him come through you have to see his faithfulness And then you're like, okay, God. I'm confident that you are gonna come through in this season And I have to patiently endure this for a little bit You're gonna come through yeah, and. Am I have to patiently endure this for a little bit? You're going to come through. Yeah, and that applies to parenting, to your merits, to hard things that you go through personally, and your life, you know?

So yeah, I think that's an important quality to remember in every aspect of your life. That's good. Okay, so you and Dad, y'all are such a cute couple. Y'all are so funny. and for those of you who do the Inaigram, you'll appreciate this. Mom is a seven wing eight and dad is an eight wing seven. So firecracker.

A little fire eight. A little firecracker. Oh yeah, they have definitely, y'all aren't I'll get a lot of you argue to few times in your life. A few times, yeah. Just once your twice a day. No, but y'all are so close and y'all's arguments are actually like your love language,

like, y'all push each other and you are such a great team. You also have fun together. Y'all play a lot of tennis, a lot of scrabble, go fishing, cook. You know what I mean? You're more of an assistant chef, not really like cook. Cook, you eat. That's what you use to. You appreciate it. Well, you definitely don't let me, you know. That's real thing. But y'all do a You eat. That's really easy.

You appreciate it. Well, you definitely don't let me. No, you're really. But you all do a lot together and it's really sweet. We are certainly a team. How do you say on the same team with your spouse whenever you might disagree on something? Because I feel like me and Christian stepping into parenting, there might be things that we see things different, but how do we like stay the same team?

I think that is so important, because kids can sense weakness. Like, they can sense, like, where's the, where's the weak link, or who's like gonna give on this, you know, and they know it, and they can, it's uncanny how they can figure that out. Well, so it is important to say that. So that's like whenever you say, like, oh, I just go, I stay out,

because I'm serious. Yeah, exactly. So it is important to say, you know, I did fine, and you're not gonna agree on everything at all, but I think it is about respect ultimately, is like, I respect you as a parent, you respect me, and I think, and I really believe this, like so strongly that God gives us two parents

because you need that kind of give and take. You need this, dimmer says, dad was a little maybe harder on some things than I would have been, and I was a little harder on some things than I would have been and I was a little harder on some things that he would have been. But we respected one another to enough to say like, you love our children, just like Alev, our children.

And like you're doing what you believe is best for them just like I am. And so sometimes you do kind of have to like say, okay, I'm going to let you take the lead on this or you're going to let me take the lead on this. And're gonna let me take the lead on this and it is a given take But it's about mutual respect Yeah, and knowing that like you know, they don't want harm for your child either They're doing the best and perhaps you know, God has something that they're learning that your child is learning through that That like he brings to the table that you might not know or realize Yes, so like he brings to the table that you might not know or realize. So, you draw a statement.

Think that mutual respect is the key to it. Or actually the same team. You are. You actually are going for the same thing and love the kids the same. Yes. That is funny because I can remember going to you and like you are always first option. And I would be like, can I do this? And if you said, if you said, go to your dad, I'd be like, oh no.

Like that was like, I was like, I just assume it to know. Like, I'm not even going to take that next step. Except for when it comes to money. I feel like that oh no. Like that was like, that was like, I just assumed it to no. Like I'm not even gonna take that next step. Except for when it comes to money. I feel like that was more free with that. That was $20 bills or whatever. Yeah. That was more free. And he would even tell us like,

Hey, there's a 20 in that drawer if you ever need to order pizza. Yeah. It was more free. I was more like, nope, you're allowance. You already spend it. Yeah. So, I'm brutal.

Speaking of allowance, we were laughing to her day to day because just how much how John Luke was always just a little bit more smart than me. And when we did tour chart and at the end of tour chart, you could either get $5 or an IC. And every week I chose an IC. And John chose $5. He always had so much money and his save

and I had $0 to my name. I had an IC every week. I love his IC. I love his IC. And I probably got an my name. I had an icy every week. We love this, I see this. I mean, I probably got an icy anyway. That was just a bad move. Not very strategic. So what has the transition been from going from mom to grandma?

Because you know, even mom our whole life, now you're K-Mama. Yeah. Does it make you feel old to be a grandma? A little bit, no? I love it. No, I love it. I feel like you're thriving. I will trade being old for being a grandma any day.

Yes, I love it. It's so much fun. You actually used to say, I never want to be an old person. You said that. And because you were like, that scares me because it's like old people. It's like, it looks hard. And then you became a grandma. And I heard you say,

I think I love being old. Like, I can't wait to be older because I feel that you've seen the blessing in it. I have. I used to feel, yeah, I used to feel like, oh my goodness, I don't want to be like, I can't walk and my knees hurt. And you know, like that older person

that just can't do anything. I just, I don't know. But now that I'm a grandma, now I'm like, I want to live to a hundred because I want to see my great, great, great kids. And it is really a sweet time of life that I am loving, yes. That's awesome.

And I'm so thankful that y'all are all close. So I can see my grandbabies just any moment, which is the greatest blessing. It is. Thanks for being on the podcast and for all of your good advice throughout life. I'm sure we was funny because when I wracked called yesterday and I was like so what do you want to talk about tomorrow? And we were like what advice have I given you and like today? Give me so much advice. How are we gonna narrow this down?

But as always you're just well-obosom. you I love you baby love you cheers some more kids yes hello hi thank you so much for having me yeah of course thank you so much for being on okay what was your question okay so my question is basically just any break up advice you have in relation to faith and God's plan because I'm a Christian and just how to continue going about your day when you're not healed from a person you still love who hurt you so much unexpectedly and just like any advice on that. Yeah, oh first of all I know that's so hard. Breakups are never fun, but I always say breakups are never fun, but they always get you to where you're going. And how to not go through the hardest breakups, I wouldn't be

here in a happy marriage, you know? And so I think, you know, Biblically speaking, and when you're talking about how do I, you know, go about this being a Christian, is just really lean on about how do I, you know, go about this being a Christian is just really lean on God for your healing, you know, God can heal those wounds in your heart that no one else can, that even if you got back together with this guy and he said every right word, he couldn't even heal your heart the way that God can. God can redeem any situation. And I would just encourage you.

I actually did a break up video on YouTube a few years ago. And I would encourage you to listen to it because I talk about this idea of not being bound in bitterness because a lot of times when something like that happens or someone really hurts you, like you can just be bound in the bitterness towards that person, towards what happens, towards your relationship. And that doesn't really help anybody, you know, it doesn't help, and that doesn't really help anybody, you know? That doesn't help you, doesn't hurt him, you know, by you sitting there and being mad at the situation. And I know that's easier said than done,

but that's where you have to invite God in and just allow him to heal your heart and trust that he is a plan. And just pray towards that plan, say, God, like, this hurt, I am not going to lie, my heart feels broken, but gotta ask that you redeem the things in the situation that hurt and gotta ask that you would just lead me along the path towards the one

that you have for me, and that that person would be kind and that he would be strong and he would be intentional. And just start speaking those things at, you know, you're asking God for to find in a person. I think that's what I saw in my life happen. What, there's some tough breakups, but each time I just was like, God, heal my heart and get me to where I'm going. And he did both. My heart is healed and now I'm in a happy relationship. And so I know when you're in it, it's hard to see the end goal because you can't. But if you just trust God and see Him in the midst of it, when you one day are with your husband and you find them one, or even before then even when you're just healed by God,

you're going to be able to look back and actually thank Him for going through the heart that you did so that you're not in the same situation that you would still be in if you hadn't. Yeah, that's good. And you can be super authentic and real and your prayers to God and just, you know, talk to Him about how you're struggling and how you're hurting and how this is affected you. And because like you said, he's gonna comfort you

more than any other human can comfort you. God's gonna comfort you. He is our comforter, he's our redeemer, and he's redeeming all things. So yes, I just encourage you in your prayer life just to be just completely transparent and real with God and just ask him to help you in those areas because we don't have to come to God with it. I'll figure it out and we don't have to come to him. You know, acting like nothing's wrong and we can come to him just with with all that we have and if that's

what we have then he's going to he'll comfort us in that if we ask him to. Yeah I actually want to share a verse of the R. Red two days ago in my Bible reading plan that I'm on. It was from Psalms 42, Psalms 4.25 and to Christian's point about being honest. It says why are you cast down on my soul and why are you in turn oil within me? And so it was a really honest prayer of like why am I so sad? Why am I so downcast? But then he says this as well as he says hope and God for I shall again praise him my salvation and my God So it's like yes, I'm so downcast right now, and yes

This is really hard, but my hope isn't God and I know that one day again I will praise him because he's my salvation. And so even in this time where it's hard and hurt and saying like, this is really hard, this really hurts, I'm really sad, but God, I know you're doing something good because I know that you have good things for those who love you and are called according to your purpose. And so take God out of his word.

I'm sorry you're going through heartbreak, but I'm thankful that you called and I hope that our advice helped Thank you. I've watched so many of your videos and podcasts and in one of them I remember you said that time doesn't heal and that God heals and that I've just like always remember that and I love that So thank you so much. That's so good. Well, I'm so glad that meant something to you and that definitely came out of a breakup that quote So anyways, well, and it thanks for calling me and it was so nice talking to you Thank you

Bye you too. Bye We absolutely love whenever you'll ask real questions whether it's hard or fun or whatever it is We love getting the answer and speaking to your life. Thanks for letting us hold a piece of advice in your own life. I hope that you go on to have a great day today and don't forget follow the WoW That's Good Podcast on Instagram, subscribe to our YouTube channel and keep up with all the things.

You don't have to swipe up for the one-dress time, Chris Smith. Thank you. But just say connected, we want to be more than just yobbing followers and fans. We want to be friends, so, sending your questions and let's get on the call. you