WHOA That's Good Podcast - Our Best College Advice | Sadie Robertson Huff & Christian Huff

Episode Date: September 18, 2023

Are you in college right now? Do you feel like you've already "messed it up" and gained a reputation for something that isn't true to who you are? Christian and Sadie are here to say it's never too late to make a change, pivot, and head in the opposite direction. Your past mistakes don't automatically dictate who you will become and no one is too far gone to be out of reach of God's grace! Christian shares the mistakes he made and wants to encourage anyone that living for the "fun" isn't a long-range plan. He also gets candid about how comfortable we can get in our confessions — it's not enough to keep confessing our sins if we're not actively working to stop them in the future. And remember, if we give our longings and desires to the Lord and let HIM fill up our cup, that is TRULY the only thing that will satisfy. Listen to Christian’s "The 4:8 Men Podcast:" https://bit.ly/45SIqUq.  https://drinkag1.com/whoa — Get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D & 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! For a limited time, new customers can get 18 free meals from Home Chef. Just go to http://www.homechef.com/whoa https://www.drinklmnt.com/whoa — Get 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Yeah. You're my dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, but if I think of like a friend, I'm usually thinking of someone girly. Yeah, but that's okay. If I'm going to have a man on, it's fitting that it be you. I would hope so, yeah. You're my friend.

Thank you. Um, so, I want to talk about college because a lot of people are starting college just getting into the groove of things about to start college and college is where a lot of decisions are made. There's a lot of stressors about college. So bring me back to when you were about to go to college. What were you feeling? Love you're you're you're not wasting any time are you? Just get to it, some of college. Let's just get to it. So early on in college.

What's happened to you like this summer before? Were you excited or you nervous? Okay, let me think. I was excited when I, so when I graduated high school, I was still 17, so super young. So I was a year younger. Really? Wow. Yeah, I've told you that.

I didn't think about that. I mean, I guess I should know that because I was 18 and you're one year exactly. Yeah, I wasn't even 18 when I graduated high school. Really? Wow. I've told you that. I didn't think about that. I mean, I guess I should know that because I was 18 and you're one year exactly. Yeah, I wasn't even 18 when I graduated high school. That's nuts. So I was super young, like summer, and then going into college, I just turned 18, so like just became an adult, if you will.

And not that that really like changed any of the way that I was living by any means. But when I was going through summer, going into my freshman year of college, I don't really think I was ever nervous. I think I was like, I really just had this idea of like, how can I have so much fun and like be quasi crazy, but also be in plugged in church.

Like this, no, like seriously, that was my thing. I'm like, how can I do what I wanna do and like live it up, but also like pursue, loose, like quote unquote, pursue gun. So in your mind, you actually went into college wanting to pursue Lord, but also like not wanting that to affect how you were going to experience college. Yeah, I, some saying, I think it it's it's looser on pursuing God. It was more on like just being in church. Like we were actually excited about finding a church though. Yeah, I was yeah, I was excited about finding a good community of people

but because I had had some reference point to that because like a few times throughout high school like I'd gotten serious about faith and then it had like burned out and I'd gotten serious and it'd burned out. So I had this relationship with church and God of just these temporary highs that had no sustenance. So I had tasted that, but it had never lasted for more than a month or two, three, whatever. I can't remember all this stuff. But yeah, it's less pursuing God and more just like wanting to be in a church and like have a community, but also not really conform yet to like, you know, fully surrendering, if you will.

Like I want to like kind of taste a church, but then also like have fun with my fraternity and like guy friends and just kind of party. Yeah. So you go to college, you go to Auburn University, where you go? Where you go? You get there and you dove in head first, full on what were the first few weeks like for you. Yeah, so it's like if you think of a pool, it's like church was like the kid, like the shallow area, like the kiddie pool. You went to church. Yeah, like a kind of dabble my toe in and then let's say the party scene was like the deep end like all the cool kids kind of, you know, I'm

saying, say a kind of dabble like my foot in the church and then I just like just you know that some are salted into the into the deep end. Sorry, I was so thinking of like a funny kind of kitschy reference that I kind of forgot your question. So you get there. Yeah, so okay. What are the first couple weeks look like? You got involved with a church-ish and then you went super hard and the party scene fast. Yes, that was a good, yeah, that's good. So I would say less involved to the beginning. Like I was just there.

I was just attending. I wasn't like really serving or involved or, you know, really a part of a balsad or anything. I was like just going to church and I was encouraged. I ever sent a ball of the messages, like my arpaster, who's still a really good friend of mine was awesome. But I'd still just wanted to like have fun and just party. And I had no really reference point to like how I can do that and also like being a listener to Jesus.

Cause for me, it was always like, church people were weird. Like they weren't fun. Like it was just like, things are not to do. Like don't go get drunk. Don't go do this. It's more about rules. Yeah, it was more like rules and like it, it was just, at least for me,

it had never come across as like relational. Yeah. And it wasn't until a few months in the college that I had kind of, like I said, I had been pursuing being involved in church and also like just being kind of crazy my fraternity. Let's just be honest for a second. Let's just put church on the side.

We're going to get to church later. Because later the church becomes a part of your life. But honestly, when you first went to school, your life was much more defined by what the deep in. What it was. So I'm trying to break this down for people to understand because I know sometimes it's like we want it to look not that we're trying to paint a better picture than it was because you were in church,

but I just want people to understand because some people have started college and like They're they're having themselves a good time, you know like they might get a church on Sunday like you did They might be listening to what's good podcast, but if there's a party Friday night, that's where they're gonna be Saturday that's where they're gonna be no for sure I hear exactly what you say, but but I'm saying there was a blindness to it though I went into colleges of dry pledge. There's only like five of us out of 30 to fit I can't remember how I didn't even pledge. There was only like five of us out of 30 to fit.

I can't remember how I would even guys want to pledge those. Like, five out of 50, we're like not gonna be drinking. And I was one of those five. And I was, you know, getting hammered. Not really getting hammered. I was just drinking. So, but I'm saying like, I went in with this inclination to like, I want to party, but not as hard or as crazy as like other people that have seen.

If that makes sense, it's like a weird, I don't really know. I don't know what it was, it's like your life wasn't a bit of a contradiction, but it was because, like, you knew inside, deep inside, this isn't really the way that you want to live. Yeah. But you weren't willing to go through the hardship of what it would take to not live that. For sure, because I think it's just such this paradox. I would say most people that go into college have some sort of background, at least I would listen to this podcast or

that would follow us, whatever, like have some background of faith, like of church, but then go to college and like want to experience something that never experienced before. But they still have this inclination in this like just maybe suppress desire of, but I still want to do the right thing. So it's, it's the culmination of two things, two completely polar opposite lives, kind of running head on. Yeah. So it's less like, so what I'm trying to say is, I did, I did go hard, but I also still had some conviction inside of like, this is still wrong, but I just suppressed that. I think most people that go to college, it's like you still wanna, you know, make your parents proud,

you still wanna go find a church, you still wanna have good friends, but then there's also some like, you wanna experience. But then yeah, but then you're also enticed to like, well, someone said what I was doing, then it looks pretty fun, and they're like, you know, it but then you're also enticed to like, well, someone said it was doing that. It looks pretty fun. And they're like, you know, it looks like it's working out well for them. Yeah. But you can only, as I said, you can only pursue those two different things for so long

and just live a lukewarm life and live just your life completely contradictory. So before I catch it up to you. Yeah. And a few months in, I mean, that for some people, that might be three years. You might be a junior college listener of this and you're like, that's been the last three years for me. Like, thankfully, I only took three, four, five months, whatever it was. And then I took a couple months in a college to really figure that out. Yeah. Of like, what I'm saying is not aligning with what I'm doing.

Yeah. Like, I'm saying I'm a dry pledge, but I'm on the balcony shotgunning beers. Like, I'm saying I'm a dry pledge, but then when you ask me to drive, I can't, because I've drink this as much as you. Some saying there's all these things that, like what you're saying has to align with what you're doing. And I think most people go into college with that idea of like it's enticing.

I want to try to live for the world, because that's what FCP people doing. It's the best four years of your life, live it at what everyone says. But there is still some kind of conviction or some kind of something telling you that it's ultimately not really fulfilling. Yeah. That's kind of the weird headspace that I was kind of.

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Check it out. So, love how you said at the end of the night when we were talking about this, like the reality is it was fun though. So talk a little bit about that because I think that some people you know are like but it but it is fun. They don't deny that it's fun. So what was it for you that was like this is just not fun anymore. Like when did it hit the point? anymore like when did it hit the point? Yeah, why did it hit the point? Yeah? That's the thing you know, I think sometimes as Christians It's like we can kind of stand on that thing of like

Well, sitting's not fun like in reality like it is fun But it's it's it's the wrong language. It's like it's fun, but it not sustaining. Like it's not long-term satisfaction. Like any time I did something super sinful and most everyone that I knew in college, like it was met with some sort of guilt or some sort of shame. So it was and it's the same with plenty of things in life. It's like a temporary high or temporary satisfaction that ultimately leads you empty and not set like unsatisfied. That's why you see so many people that are like, when I had the most in the world,

that's when I felt the most empty. Like when I had the most women, the most money, the most drugs, whatever, like in that time of like when you felt like you had the most of what you were telling yourself, you wanted, that's when you felt the most empty. So, yeah, I mean, my first few, my first few, whatever, my first few months in college were like, we're great. I remember one time we went to go see me

and a bunch of guys, my fraternity went to go see a movie like Super High and it was hilarious. But it was like, but in the morning after, it's like, what am I doing with my life? Like, so that's what I'm saying, there's things that are fun, but then if morning after it's like, what am I doing with my life? Like, so that's what I'm saying. There's things that are fun, but then if you kind of take a step back, it's like, why do I convince myself that this is fun?

But then ultimately leads you unsatisfied enough to feel it. Right? It's the same you always share your donut analogy. Like it's a great analogy. You want to kind of... Yeah, I always talk about my donuts. Well, I can't remember exactly how I said it, but it's like, it would be super fun

if we got a box of donuts, couple boxes, and we're like, it would be so fun if we just ate all these donuts. And you're laughing, like this is a great time, let's eat as many as we can. We're like, oh, number eight, number nine, it's all fun. Until you're throwing up after. And then you're like, why do we do that?

Like, no one after when you throw up is like, let's run it back, let's go get a couple more boxes, let's eat some more donuts, you're like, no, I will never do that again because it made me feel so sick. But with sin for some reason, like the virus has like a dog returning to its own vomit. It's like, even though we know this is bad for me, this is gross, this makes me feel bad, this makes me feel sick, this makes me feel shame,

anxiety, depression, I keep going back to it because it was fun. But when you think about it and actuality and just when you think about it with sense and with wisdom, you go, no, I'm not going to go back to the donuts because that's what got me here in the first place. And so I think sometimes it because our feelings take over or whatever it's like, oh, I just want to get back to that feeling of when I was eating the donuts because that was fun. Not thinking that very thing is what's leading me to feel this the next day. That's what it is yeah it's like if you were to show up I never lived that I never lived in a fraternity house but if you were to show up at a fraternity house at 9 a.m. or 10 a.m. and almost

everyone there's hung over they all feel awful people are throwing up it's like if you have if you were like an interviewer, like, you know, how do you feel right now? It's like, I feel awful. But that's at 9 a.m. And then you're telling yourself at 9 a.m. Like, like, yeah, last night was fun, but I'm reaping the benefits of how bad it was. And somewhere between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m.

or 5 p.m. whatever, before the X party starts, the next football game or whatever, you can venture yourself that last night wasn't as bad as I remember, it was eight hours ago. And then it's the same thing. And then you wake up Sunday morning, you're like, hungover again, and it's like, I feel awful, I can go puke in a bucket. But it's such a, it's just so weird, because it's your, you're blind to it. Like it's, if you're living in sin, like, you know,

the Bible talks about the God of the world has blinded the minds of unbelievers, like, people are, the Bible talks about the God of the world as a blind to the minds of unbelievers. Like, people are blind and just oblivious to that sin. So you keep going back. You just keep going back to it again. So that's what I'm saying. Like, if you're getting drunk and it's 11 p.m. like you're having a great time.

Like it's fun in the moment. But then when you wake up there, it's morning and you're super sick and you're like, why in the world that I do that? But then a few hours later, you're back to doing the same thing. It's just this cycle because one, that's what you're used to, many people are addicted to it. And a lot of times, it's an escape to, that's why a lot of people are addicted to those things

into drugs and alcohol because it's like, you want to escape your present circumstance right? You want somewhere to go that's just going to numb your mind or numb whatever to just kind of release from realities of the world. Well, I love how you said that. You said like, sin is fine, but it's not fulfilling. And so it may be fun in the moment, but it will not fulfill the emptiness that you're so really craving.

And so it might be fun. But the next day you have the skill, you have the shame, you might physically have that affects the sin, you might be hungover, you might, you know, you could get alcohol poisoning. Like there are real things like that. Sin actually has like physical effect, like sin leads to death spiritually,

but sin sometimes also leads to death physically. And I love how like living a life for Christ, it is also fun and it's fulfilling. Like there are things you can do in your Friday night and you're not necessarily sacrificing from fun. You're still having fun, but like you're living in fulfillment as well. But it is like it does take a hard, hard stop

to like break that cycle, like actual change to get out of those things when you're living so heavily in them. I love how you're just so real and you're like, yeah, me and my friends went to a movie high and it was hilarious, but like looking back, even the next day, as quickly as an a-sale, like what am I doing with my life? So let's just get real. Can we be real for a second?

Okay, so I remember whenever we were about to get married And I was like your computer and I started seeing all these pictures from when you first went to college And we can delete this if you want to see no, I don't care But I was like oh my gosh like we have to delete these pictures because like okay first off You had you in no way had a happy tone about it. So the way that you're I'm like laughing out, but I was not happy. Oh, you were like pissed. I was like, oh my gosh, you were crazy. You were amazing.

And I was like, you have to delete these pictures. I was like, because it looked so bad in my mind. Like, they were like pictures of him smoking cigarettes. Which is the Ava backstory. Yes, there's a backstory. They're, do you wanna tell your backstory? No, no, you can keep going.

There is like a picture of you dressed like a Dallas Cow would cheer later. Yeah. For a fraternity party. Like there is a lot of shocking things, okay? On this camera roll that all popped up on his computer that were on his phone. And I was just like, okay, these have got to die.

And I had to be honest, like my heart was like, not really in the right place because I was more thinking of like, I was embarrassed and I was just like if these ever got out then what would people think like of like you know I'm marrying this person that might be kind of wild and like what if people dig up this dirt on you and all this stuff. And I really hate that I responded like that. And I just want to like say that to you publicly which I know already said that to you privately. But I want to say it publicly because I actually think that in the church like I don't think it's a good thing to

hide your past because I think that the past is the power of our testimony and I actually think that it is so cool to admit and to show that I once was dead now I'm alive and for people to see that I once was dead now I'm alive and for people to see that I once was blind now I can see I once was lost now I'm found like I think the power of our testimony is that we had a pass and I would see about this other day like so many people they get ashamed but they're past like oh if they ever found out they were found out but I actually think if they found out then that would actually show how good Jesus is and I

think about Jesus like being someone who died on the cross and how like he was dead in the grave. And if someone ever said to him like, weren't you the dead guy, it would be so powerful for him to then say, yes, it was a normal life. And so I would never want you to feel like you couldn't share your past or it would be bad if those pictures came out or because I think the world likes to take pictures like that and like blow it up and like cancel you when I'm like no that's the very thing that like qualifies me for the cross that I was sinful and like God's blood like Jesus is blood covered that sin and now I'm alive in Christ and so

I feel very passionate about that because I just feel like we feel the need to hide our past because of the way that people blow it out of proportion or people misunderstand or like cancel culture and all this stuff. And I just want you to know, I think it's actually really powerful that I saw pictures of a person living this life that now I see you and like it's a different person. I've never experienced that with you.

And I just can't really, yeah. Yeah. So I know meal time can be a little stressful, especially if you have picky eaters like we do in our house. Honey's very picky and making dinner each night can be a little bit of a stressor. But no matter what season you're in, home chef can take the stress out of that dinner time, which is a big bit of a stressor. But no matter what season you're in, home chef can take the stress of that dinner time,

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These four serving recipes are great for families, and even the pickiest eaters will love them as well. Like I mentioned, honey is very, very picky. So I'm so thankful for home chef that they think about that, had those kids in mind and actually planned for that. So if you're trying to stick to a certain diet as well, home chef has you covered with their options that are carb conscious, calorie conscious, and vegetarian. There are also keto friendly options that have 30 grams of protein and less than 15 grams

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Again, go to home Chef.com slash whoa for 18 free meals. That's whoa WHOA Home Chef dot com slash Yeah, well quick, I guess 10 second back story so the cigarette I had I was smoking a cigarette and I thought you know I kind of felt like an early like you know leaner to cap her like Brad Pitt kind of thing and it's actually really funny It's one of those pictures where it was like kind of grainy about it like look super cool And I was like if I ever get famous one, someone's gonna like post this and say like, you know, like Christian have 2016. And it's like, but this is like 50 years down the road.

Like, you know, like there's like those like history, like you Instagram things or whatever. And it's like Brad Pitt 1982. And it's like him like looking like super cool. That's just kind of what I thought was gonna happen and it didn't because that picture's gone forever. I'm sorry everyone. That picture's gone forever. And the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders was, I didn't have a choice.

It was like a, No, you did have a choice. It was, okay, yeah, well I can't talk about, okay. I did have a choice, but it was basically like, you can't, I can't speak against my fraternity on this podcast, but I had to dress up as something. Like that was, each person got a thing, and that was what was assigned to me.

So if I didn't do it, I'd have been in a lot of trouble. Okay, so I do want to, let's talk about this for a second, because a lot of people are joining fraternities and sororities right now, and the reality is they don't feel like they have a choice to not do certain things. And so let's talk about this for a second. What do you think as a Christian being in a space where you might be pushed to do things that don't align with your values or your morals, but for the sake of remaining in you have to do.

Like looking back, okay, that was how much you were losing was kind of funny. It's not like that. You weren't doing anything wrong. It wasn't like a hanging thing. But like say you were, it was like a drinking thing and you had to drink. You had to do this and like you didn't feel right about that. To the Christian here who just entered a, it's a priority of fraternity who's feeling this pressure and doesn't feel like they have a choice.

Like, what do you do? Yeah, that's good. Well, I feel like there's many facets to that because one, like if that was actually happening, like your, your organization would just get kicked off campus because like that's not allowed. Like within the last decade of just things that have happened from that, like,

that's actually like a serious thing that you can get. Like, you're for turn this short, it actually gets canceled kind of for that. So that's one thing, but two, I think, you know, when you're in it, like I said, not that you're blind to, but like when you're in it, you're just so, you know, you're just so nude everything. Like, and you don't want to disappoint these upper classmen.

Like, that's what you're like, you can't ever say no to them or whatever. And we actually had one of our guys like stood up to this upper classmen and it was like, it was like crazy. It was like, dude, what do you do? It was like, you cannot do that. It was pretty cool.

But then, I mean, you, but then, you know, I'm removed from a nap, but then you go, you know, up throughout, up through it, whatever. And it's all mainly just like jokes, right? It's like most of the time when someone's like pressing yourself and obviously there's, there's super serious things that are, that are not, not, not to make a lot of. But most of the time, it's like, that's what happened to them. So they're just kind of doing on to you know people like doing on a freshman What was done to them kind of thing right but there's always a choice like looking back I'm sure I didn't have to do that. I mean in the moment you're like if I say no to this then what'll happen?

but like you know if you make a relationship with upper-classmen people like you'll have Those people will talk to the people that might be forcing you, quote unquote, to do this stuff. I love that you're saying this because here's the thing. No matter what's going on in life, you always have a choice. You do. This freeway, you have a choice. You should have a choice at least.

If you don't feel like you have a choice and you need to look at the situation that you're in and ask yourself, this is a healthy situation. I think about that with whatever you're learning in this yourself if this is a healthy situation. But I think about that with how, you know, whatever you're learning in this season of life is preparing you for the next season of life. And I didn't go to college, but there have been so many times in my life where I have felt in whether it's business or ministry or opportunities that I didn't have a choice to do whatever it was or say whatever it was like I had to do this in order to say it in Relationship with whoever I was partnering with whether that was a other business partner or ministry thing or have had moments like that

And I've had to gain the confidence to say no, I do have a choice like there are certain advertisements You've seen this like you know, I'll get an opportunity for a podcast ad or an Instagram ad and it'll be like this big ad and I'll be really excited about it. But maybe I've already started to say like yes, I'll do it. I've already said yes, but then I start looking into it and I'm like, I don't agree with what they stand for or something, doesn't feel right or actually don't want my name tied to that. And even though I already said yes, sometimes I used to be like, why don't I have a choice

like I have to do it. But what I've learned is like, no, I do have a choice. And I have to be confident enough and have the integrity that I have to say like, I'm gonna have to have the hard conversation. I want to do this. And if they don't want to work with me, I have to be willing to like let that happen. Or if they misunderstand me, I have to be willing to, you know, accept the consequences of this. Because at the end of the day I need to go to sleep on my pillow at night with peace knowing that I did what was right and that I watched with integrity today and that's something super important to me

So I think like these decisions that you're making in college and the things and the things that you're up against It might not seem like this is gonna matter in the real world, but it does. Like, yeah, you're not going to be in a sorority later, but like you're going to be in a work environment one day where you're going to feel intimidated by the higher ups and it doesn't seem like you have a choice. And like at the end of the day, you need to know that you're able to stand up for what you feel is right. And I don't know, like here, and you say that, I was like, that's so interesting because I felt that way a lot of times and I've had to learn to like find my voice in that. And I'm glad I have because when I used to not say I'm to those things, like I would go to bed

so anxious, like I wish I didn't have to do this. I wish I didn't have to do this. And then finally one day I was like, I actually don't have to do this. It's just I'm scared of disappointing someone or I'm scared of being misunderstood or I'm scared of this. And you know if you're

not a good reason to back down to something. Yeah, because like I said when you get up through it, you know the hindsight is always it seems so scary in the moment but really for them it was just like a side of humor. Yeah. So it's just them making jokes and being humorous but to you it's like terrifying. Yeah. So like you feel like yeah you feel like you're back against one. There's nothing you can say, nothing you can do, but really it's just underneath what seems like it's meanness and rudeness. It's just them just trying to be funny. So I mean, if you're, I don't know how many guys are going to listen to this, but I mean, yeah, or even if you're, you know, insurgent, I'm sure a lot of it's similar of things that you might feel get pressed upon you. It could just be from a joking standpoint, but it comes across as, you know,

bullying or mean or whatever. I think that girls are different. I mean, from things that've just heard from sororities, I do think there is a lot of intimidation there and probably a lot of things that really aren't okay. And I'm not saying that all sororities for journeys are bad. I think there's a lot of good that come out of both of them. There's community, there's sisterhood, there's beautiful things that come out of them. But I do think that some of them can get a little bit toxic if you're not willing

to stand up for doing the right thing and if you cave under peer pressure and everyone's doing it type. Yeah, because we do need people in the spaces, right? Like I had guys in my pledge class that joined it for turnily to minister to people. Like if I were to take myself now, put me in when I was 17, like I think that's why I wanted you to turn it like to meet guys, but also like how can I be in this environment not be tempted to do these things that they're predicting in, but to give them Jesus, not in like a, you know, like a hypocritical way or like a self or like a, like a condemning way, but in like a loving way of like, how can I, you know, be in this space? I mean, you know, you read all about Jesus. Like, that's what he got critique about most.

I was a young out with Center for Task Collethers and he wasn't tempted in those spaces. So I think people in their faith over time, and I think God definitely gives people certain gifts in that area of you can put yourself in a super worldly situation, and you don't blink, like that is a tamptu, it doesn't phase you, like how can you pull people out of that?

And I think we need more people that are solid joining, for turning these joining sororities to minister to those people, and not to get caught up in the drama, or in just the whatever in, you know, just the whatever that they're taking in, but you know, we need people in the spaces that are solid, that are confident, and that are also loving in the same way, because then you also have people that to join it, and it's like, you know, putting your stake in the ground, and it's like, you know, that's not, that's not attractive either. So how do you do it in a loving way, in a relatable way?

Yeah. Like most people, it's like, you better have some sort of reference point for like what that lifestyle's kind of like for you to really get to this guys, right? And like not that you can't do the way, but it's a lot easier for me to minister to someone who has, who likes the party versus someone who's never had a drink in their life. Like who has no idea of like the fun of it or how, how to really kind of relate to that.

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I want to give that to that thing about hiding the password moment, because I think that good. I want to give that to that thing about hiding the password moment because I think that, and also just to note, I know not everyone listens to five guys as part of a sorority or fraternity that it's in college, you don't have to be a part of sorority or fraternity to understand the peer pressure that comes with college, the things that come just with college life's own general. This is the first time that you're not under your parents' roof and you're making your own decisions and there's a lot of people around you making decisions that are different than ones you've ever made. And so we are not just making this about

those two things. This is a much broader conversation. And like I said, I didn't go to college and this is very relatable conversation for me too and that time period of my life and even now in different ways. But about the past, I think that the thing is, what I always say about this, like the enemy would love for you to keep your past a secret, right? Because I think that one, it shows, if you don't, you know, claim your past, you know, talk about it, then it keeps the glory of God kind of dimmed, right? Because it's like, don't say that, because then it would really make God look good if God restored you from all those things.

But I think too, why would he want us to keep that in the dark is because then we always feel like there's a secret to hide. And for me, what I was trying to do and hiding those things from you is I was scared people would find out and it would be on TMZ. Because honestly, that stuff happens to my family. And I was just like, what if they dig up the dirt? What people would find out and it would be like on TMZ, you know? Because honestly like that stuff happens to my family, you know, and I was just like,

what if they dig up the dirt, what if they find out? But like I realized, because my mom told me this, like if you ever have a secret, you need to be the first one to share it because then it loses its power. Like no one has anything to find on you that you aren't willing to just say in the first place.

And if someone found it and they didn't hear like the truth about it, they're like, yeah, I'm not denying that I did that. I'm not denying that that's what it looks like. But I'm also here to now claim the power of what the what God did in my life. And so I think like for friends, like if you've started college and like you've already screwed it up, like because I know Christian Christian's story like some of his like worst mistakes in college We're at the very beginning of college and like you might feel that way and you're like oh already screwed this up Like oh already I'm too far gone. Everyone here knows me as dot dot dot. Everyone here is seeing me drunk Everyone here is seeing me sleep around. Everyone here has seen me as a certain way. I've already got a reputation

Last year I was crazy. This is my friend group. Like you're already like, no, I'm like in the deep in like swimming there and everyone has seen me. I just want to encourage you. Like that's okay. Like you're not too far gone. You're not past the point. Like you're actually position the perfect place to give God glory. You're in the perfect place to say, I once was dead, not I'm alive. You're in the perfect place for the blood of Jesus. And so there is not one person on listening to this podcast that has gone too far for the power of Jesus' blood to cover. And I just want to speak that over you because I don't want you to keep going down that cycle because you think you have to because you think it's already done and it's already established that's who you are. That's not who you are. That might have been the mistakes you

made, it might have been the choices you made, but it doesn't have to be who you become. And I want to talk to you about who we're becoming because Christian, a lot of people say to you in your comments are like, man, like, this is the life I want, right? It's like, you're married and we have two kids and it's like the sweet thing. And I think a lot of people say stuff like that on social media where they see these couples and this is what I want, but their life is not a reflection of that at all.

And I want you to speak a little bit too. Like if you have a desire for something, how you work towards that and not just wait for it to magically happen. Yeah, that's good. Real quick before I kind of say, I do kind of, I do just want to backtrack super quickly what you said about the sorority fraternity thing. Like, yeah, if you're listening to this in no way, do we want this to be like a sorority

fraternity thing? Because I think that's the last thing that I think either of us would want. Because you're going to find it, right? Like I knew people throughout class that were just as wild, if not more wild, then guys don't need more fraternity. Like so if you're wanting to pursue that, you're gonna find it somewhere. Oh yeah.

So I think, so I think yeah, just what you are wanting just to pursue, like, and we're not saying, get it fraternity, get it, get it in a sorority. But we're just saying, oh Lord, I just lost my train of thought. This is life. This is in your 30s, this is in your 40s. Like, no matter what stage of life you are, we can all relate to like, there are going

to be places and situations that are make us feel like we have to do certain things, be a part of a certain thing, that either we stand on solid ground or we sink with the sand, you know, like it's no matter what stage of life we're in, everything we're saying is applicable to that. I think that's why we want to make clear. Yeah, for sure. That's good. I think when we first met, thankfully there had been There had been in a lot of time of a one repentance, but two of like starting to see fruit like that was born. Like it wasn't we met. I'm like, oh crap, I need to stop being addicted to pornography. I need to like get my life together so I can try to get this girl. You know, it really wasn't that thankfully I had gotten freed from that from that fruit. I think it was like a year when we first met. So I had had that a lot of time

to really start seeing fruit that was bare, right? Like, instead of, you know, living in a lot of these sins that I was living in, I was starting to see, oh, there's peace when I used to get mad at everything, which I still really struggle with anger, but not to the extent that it used to be, right? So you can see progress steps, like in high school, like literally, I just, I, if I failed the test, I would like punch a locker. I just, I just would get so just like flustered.

But now it's like, I don't punch anything. Like I might get super mad and like quiet and like retreat, but it's less like, you know, less of an outburst than how you speak. So, okay, that's not where I want to be but I still progress, right? So, there's things that, you know, when you become in relationship with Jesus

and when you have fellowship with that, there's like, you can kind of see benchmark things of progress, right? And it's not like you wake it tomorrow and it's like you can kind of see benchmark things of progress, right? And it's not like you wake up tomorrow and it's like, you know, I'm going to just do it because it's more, what's what this spirit is going to do in you? Like, we're not all, we're not naturally bent towards like righteousness, right? So like if I don't read today, I don't ever have thought about Jesus, like I'm not going to naturally be bent towards like being selfless or being patient or being slow to anger.

I'm not gonna be, those aren't naturally, it's gonna kind of come for me. So it has to be some kind of like, what am I sowing or what am I reaping? If I'm sowing, listen in a worship instead of rap. If I'm sowing, getting plugged in my church, if I'm sowing, reading my Bible more, I'm sowing, reading a Bible plan, like, you're going to slowly reap those benefits. Like, and that was what I kind of saw early on, if I'm really going to sew into this, I'm going to reap these good things. And if I want to sew in a worldly things, then you're going to reap worldly things.

And obviously there's different struggles with the flesh. I mean, you know, we just struggle with stuff all the time. And even like past stuff, it's easier to talk about certain past mistakes and other past mistakes, right? But that's in our flesh that some things, things are like, ooh, I don't want to talk about that. But that's just in our flesh, right? But yeah, I think if you see my life now versus what it used to be, there was finally a moment of like

Something used to change and I'm gonna take steps towards that like there's right people think repentance I talk to people a lot. It's like while they're a pinted. It's like well Repentance is like a daily thing for most people for some people Maybe not every day But for some people it's a hundred times a day like you need to repent for things and not only just just for PEP but like confess. So it's like, we did we had a Bible study, I was here with you, it was like, we had a Bible study. And it was like every single week, it was like, I'm sure we're fine, I'm sure we're fine. And finally, we were all just like, we just like, we, because I think sometimes you get comfortable in your confession to

words, like everyone's doing it. So I'm just going to kind of struggle in it. There's some things that are easier to confess and others. Yeah, but I was saying, you have to break that off. And it's like, you know, thankfully when we met, I was freed from a lot of that stuff and I was pursuing these things and I was seeing fruits start to bear. And if we had met an earlier time, it would have been different. And if I was caught up in a lot of stuff that I was caught up in what we met then it would have been a train wreck like we wouldn't have wouldn't have lasted because I didn't have a foundation and there was no

active fruit that was bearing for your relationship. So I think you know I think sometimes we can be like I need to clean it up so I can go get so and so it's like no like clean it up because you want to love Jesus and then if the time is right and if you know if it's in his plan, then all the other things will kind of follow. It's good. That's so good. Yeah, I think a lot of people, they see a vision of what they want. And then sometimes you just get stuck in that.

I want that. But you have to put forth effort to go and get that. It's like we know that is true with life. Like if you want a coffee, what are you gonna do? You have to like get in your car, go to the coffee shop, you gotta drive there. Maybe pay for gas. Yes, you gotta figure out, if you even like coffee,

what kind do you like? What's your order? You know, like do the whole thing. It takes time to figure out like, like to actually get there and to know what you like and to drink the drink. And I think sometimes we're just like, no, I want it, I want to snap our fingers.

I want to see it on social media. I want that, I want that, I want to click the link. I'm gonna buy this, I'm gonna do this. But that's not how life works. It's like if I have a desire for a healthy relationship, then before I even meet the man, I have to get healthy. I have to start with me first first and that's why our new book How to put love first that is our whole thing because when Christian I started telling about wanting to write a book together

We're like we are not qualified to write a book on relationships We've only been married for not even four years yet almost four years and we're like We haven't gone through enough with even each other to like relationally write a book But we were like but what we have seen is like, if God is put first, if love is first, how do we put love first? If God, who is love, is first. Then we have seen the benefit and the blessing that has flowed into all of our relationships

with each other, with our families, with our friends, with our community. And so I think that like right now, first steps into like getting what you desire spiritually, whether that's like a family or that's a job, or whatever it is that you're kind of seeking and desiring, like put action behind that, like actually start pursuing the Lord in those things,

actually start living like that. Like if you want a marriage that is happy and fun, like be a fun person. You know, like if you want a job where like you're super successful in this way, like get super good at your craft and your gifting. Like I think so many times we just like one stuff but we don't work towards what we want.

And I just think it's important not just to sit back home and comment on people's Instagrams about like what you wish you have, but actually taking steps towards what you desire. Because I think sometimes we can think that it's gonna happen. And I think that God does blesses in incredible ways and God does do all the things,

but at the same time, I think it's like God works with us. We got works through us. We just kind of set something in it. It's actually not that it's like God works with us. I think God works through us. Well, you just kind of set something in it. It's actually, you know, not that it's not right, but like, you know, when you start with the coffee, you go get a coffee. I think the problem now is like, that's actually not true. Like Uber Eats, like Door Dash, like mobile ordering at,

like you actually don't have to work hard to go get something. Which is why we don't. Which is what's wrong with our society. It's like, that's the problem. It's like it's like that's the problem It's like it's the instant gratification. It's that's why we check our phone however many times a day like You know all the statistic on if your phone dings like the average second you wait to check it like it's so hardwired to the Instacredification and there's so many parallels to that right so even like with fitness

It's like if you want to get in good shit if you were to get in shape It's not like I'm gonna go to the gym one time. I'm gonna have a six pack. I even like with fitness, it's like, if you want to get in good shape, if you were to get in shape, it's not like, I'm gonna go to the gym one time, I'm gonna have a six pack, I'm gonna look great. It's like, no, there's a plan. There's a membership you're probably gonna buy. Like there's, and it's, it's hand was spiritually. It's like, if you see someone you look up to,

it's not just like, they had a quiet time one time and then they were, they, you know, they knew everything. It's like, no, it's like daily practices. Like daily, every, like it's... And I think the problem is like, we get so disappointed when we don't have that and we think it's like a lot of fear. And then we get discouraged, and then we do. God's not faithful or we think,

do you even care and like all this stuff? And it's like, you went to the gym one time, you're not gonna have six back. You know, it's like, you, you did one thing. Like, over time, it comes. And also, like, just knowing if it never comes like is god enough to satisfy your soul you know like if it never happens I thought about this other day like during my college quote unquote years what I wasn't really in college but you know

my 18 to 22 like I look back at that and if I was going to regret something it's that like I never allow myself to be single. Like I just was not single. I was just always wanted to be in a relationship because I was like scared of just sitting alone with my thoughts and stuff. And I so desired marriage that I was like,

then I have to have someone in my life. And I just think that that was like not true. And I should have just rested in that because I think more than marriage, like I needed to just desire God. And when I desire God, he was going to bring the right person. And he brought you and Steph was saying this other day. So Steph, who works with me, she's one of my best best friends. And like eight, no, seven years ago was our first LO event. And it was before she was on my team, she was working for the team that was helping put on our event. And she was telling me this today, it was actually kind of cool. She was like,

say, it's so cool because I forgot about this, but in the house, Christian, I live in today, we did all of our promo videos. And we were in the bedroom, that is our bedroom now. But at the time, it's just a guest room. We were in the bedroom. And I was in there and the lead person for their production told Steph to come in the room and I was in there and the lead person for their production told Steph to come in the room and encourage me because I was so sad I was going through a breakup and I don't remember this at all. And Steph came in there and encouraged me and was like, hey, it's going to be okay. Let's go in there. Let's do this. And so here I am seven years ago sitting in this room, crying, confused, not sure what the future held,

all this stuff. And seven years later, that's the bedroom that me and you live in, and we have two kids, and it's just so crazy what the Lord has done. And so I just wish I could look back and say, just rest in the Lord, trust his faith, when it's trust his goodness, don't think that you have to get all these other things to just temporarily fill this little hole in your heart

Like whatever that hole is like truly let the Lord fill because like his love has to come first anyways Or else like even if you did come into my life It wouldn't have been to filling to me because it had to be God's first to be ultimate satisfaction And so I think to sum up even this whole conversation. It's like in life We are always gonna have this desire for these like quick satisfying things because we have these longings in our heart that like we just want to fill the void in. But like if you can just sit here today and truly give those longings and those desires to the Lord and let him fill up your cup, that is truly the only thing that's going to satisfy you and when he fills up your cup. Now, not only do you get filled

because you would be empty the other way, but you get filled to the point of overflow to then where your cup fills others up. And I just see that's the coolest thing about our life is that like both of us have gone through times where we're just like, we're empty. You know, we were just empty, we're empty, you know, we were just empty, we're just broken, and then like,

we let the Lord fill our cup and like, now we get to go and we get to have a conversation like this and hopefully fill up someone else's cup. And so just encouraging, you might be the empty one right now, like you might be the one that's like, sitting there like, what am I doing with my life or constantly trying to be in a relationship or drinking it away, like whatever you're doing doing with my life or constantly trying to be in a relationship or drinking it away?

Like whatever you're doing, but it is not too late to stop right now. What you're doing and let the Lord fill the cup and a couple years from now shoot six months from now, you might be having a coffee conversation with somebody and you're saying what we're saying to you, you know, I just think that's the cool thing about the gospel. And no one's too far gone from that hope. Yeah, that's good. Are you doing any of the questions? Yeah, that's pretty much it. Yeah, I mean, I don't have really,

I don't have much to say, but when you, before you just started talking about that, I was just thinking, you know, there's, and we can cut this out. But even like, because I was thinking about with like, fitness too, it's like, if, because I kind of shared that earlier about the gym stuff. Like if you're getting to fitness and it's like someone who goes to the gym for the server

for the first time, the next question is like, what program do you follow? Like, what supplements do you take? Or like, how often you train or whatever? And she'd be like, that spiritually, it's like, you have an account and it's like, oh my gosh, like, what's your favorite worship band? Or like, what's your favorite worship song? Or like, you have a plan I can use. Or like, what shirt service do you go to? Like, it all, like, it's like that. It's like, in this, and it's like, if you're listening to your college,

like, you, if you want to like, a great, you're gonna study a lot, right? You're not just gonna, like, if we just do church on Sunday and throughout the week, we don't do anything else spiritual though, it's like, you're gonna fail your test. If you just look at your notes one time, and if you don't study, you're probably not gonna do well.

And it's like, if you wanna know God, if you wanna have a relationship with Him and live in that fellowship, there's gonna be things that you're gonna do. You're just gonna, there's gonna be things you're gonna study, things you're gonna question, things you're gonna learn. Tools that you're gonna use that might be beneficial,

that might not be beneficial to someone else. Like, find what works for you. Same with studying, I knew people that, like, I had to study so, so much. And that's the same for me as scripture. It's like, if I don't study it a lot, I'm not gonna know it because just the way my brain works. I can't just, I'll have a photographic memory. I knew some people that's like, I'd study it one time.

I aged a test, I guess not me. Yeah. But some people might be like that. Like, you have to find out what works for you. And it's the same with everything. Like, you have to put in work for the things that you truly want to pursue and the things that you desire. And it's like you said earlier, like your relationship or your spiritual highs lasted

a month or two or three, you know. But whenever you finally got in relationship, you started waiting out those things in your life and welcoming and like it's this ongoing thing that hasn't died out. And I think that's the coolest thing, one of the coolest things about God is like, he's the alpha and the omega, he's the beginning and the end. Like there is any turnity to learn about God, you know? Like even if you read the Bible, you can read it again and again and again

and you see something new and you learn something new and there's this excitement. Like someone asked me today, what are you most excited about for L.O. just in the future. And so I'm probably most excited about the fact that I've been doing this for eight years and I feel like I'm just getting started. Like isn isn't that cool? Like, I've been doing a

ministry for like eight years and I feel like I'm just getting started in so many ways because I have so many more visions and so many more people to reach and so many more things to do that. I'm like, this is so fun and exciting because, and yes, like there are hard things and whatnot too, but there's just so much more to do. And I think like Jesus giving us that command at the end, saying like, hey, go until every time, every nation, every time, bad times in the name of the name of the Father is something of a Holy Spirit. How exciting that like that never is going to end.

Unless we somehow reach seven billion people, like your job's not done, you know? And so when you start a relationship with the Lord, it's beginning to end. It's eternity. And so that's a very exciting thing to be a part of. And I think when you think about that and the grand scheme of things like college, when you're thinking about that, you're thinking about like four years.

That's such a narrow mindset for the rest of your life. Such a narrow mindset for the rest of eternity. And so making decisions today, whether you're 18 or 81 listening to this, it's just the beginning of eternity, you know? So it's a cool thing when you think about that and that perspective. Yep, that's good. This is a good conversation, babe.

It's a good conversation. I just have to say, we did not plan one thing we were gonna say today. And we were like, let's just talk. And I'm glad we did, because I feel like this is the most natural, like truly spirit, like conversation of a podcast. And I think it's really cool

because these are things that we're really passionate about. These things that we're really vulnerable in and this is really just our heart to you and we want to do this because we know so many of you are going into college or in college or just in a season of life where you're hearing all these voices around you and maybe you just need a friend, a sister and a friend, to speak some truth, to paint a new perspective, to kind of zoom out a little bit so you can see things in light of eternity. But we love you guys, we are for you all.

I hope I get to meet some of you guys who listen to those podcast one day and hear how it touched you and encouraged you and the season that you're in. But we're here for you all. If you have any more like things specifically, you want Krishna to talk about, just like mom and I talk about, drop it in the comment. We would love to touch on some of these harder subjects if y'all and

just appreciate that we get to have a voice in your life. So go out, have a great week. And if you need to start a new chapter, start it today. It's not too late for him. Trying to articulate this because this might like sound works. I was just thinking about like, okay, so sound works. I was just thinking about, like, okay, so you know how when people always talk about, you know, like a spiritual high, there's like a little fire, and it's like, it just burns out quick.

But then now it's like, if you were to, you know, if you have that image, but then now it's like, our fire's like all consuming, right, it's like a big fire. It's not just like a little side kind of fire. But I was thinking about this idea of like, birthday candles, like, it's like a little fire, or like a little side kind of fire, but I was thinking about this idea of like birthday candles like it's like a little fire or like a little spark and

Something blows on it, but it doesn't always burn out Right like sometimes people are like And it just won't blow out, but eventually it blows out, right? But if I did that to a big fire It wouldn't touch it wouldn't fit if was like, it wouldn't touch the fire. I actually, um, helps the fire grow. Yeah, it does. Which is interesting.

But I'm just thinking about like, if I'm like, like it's like, it lasts like two to three months after I had this, this virtualized and she's like a little fire. And it's like, poor. Okay, didn't blow it out. Okay, drinking, didn't blow it out yet. But like, eventually, it's gonna, it's gonna it out. Okay, drinking. Didn't blow it out yet. But like, eventually, it's gonna burn out. Like, unless it's growing,

and there's different temptations and there are different struggles, but if you just stay the same, and you're not working on that, eventually, all these worldly things that you're trying to pile on top of something that you're trying to cultivate, it's gonna stop it.

It doesn't sustain it. It doesn't sustain it. So I think I think about that it's like my fire now It's like even though I still have struggles and we all still go through things like it doesn't quench that fire Because it's a lot bigger than what it used to Sure, that's good. It's an interesting thought Oh, China I think about how right to do be. I love it. And this is really good. you