WHOA That's Good Podcast - Our Best Love Advice: Should Girls Ever Ask Guys Out? | Sadie Robertson & Christian Huff

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

Sadie and Christian are back diving into the DMs and answering your questions about LOVE! Should girls EVER be the ones to initiate and ask a guy out? That's not as easy an answer as you might think! And is there such a thing as "right person, wrong time?" What if God's plan for you doesn't include falling in love? Sadie and Christian share some of the strategies that worked for them during their dating and engagement years, especially when it comes to insecurities that can arise at whatever phase of a relationship you're in. Sadie cautions us to not put all our hopes in a "ring" to fix everything — because it won't! Order your copy of Sadie and Christian's book, "How to Put Love First," here: https://bit.ly/3PYixMk https://give.cru.org/first or text FIRST to 71326 — Get a free copy of Sadie and Christian's new book "How to Put Love First" with your gift! https://www.drinklmnt.com/whoa — Get 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order! https://covenanteyes.com — Try Covenant Eyes FREE for 30 days with promo code WHOA. https://drinkag1.com/whoa — Get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D & 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! -- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Y'all know this about me, one of my favorite things, and the world to do is tell people about Jesus, not because I have to, but because I get to tell people about the good news that his life offers us. So people all around the world want to learn more about Jesus and it makes you so happy. Sure, and the love of Jesus with others is so important, and that's why I love working with our partner crew, with missionaries in more than 190 countries. They've seen people all over the world come to know Jesus. Hearts are changing, lives are changing, but this isn't come without some challenges.

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crew will provide meals to five hungry individuals through their humanitarian aid ministry. Plus, you receive a free copy of me and Christians' new book, How to Put Love First. How to Put Love First is a 90-day devotional challenge of putting God first in your life. When we talk about love, we're talking about God. And I just think this book is truly for everybody. So simply text first to 71326 to help today. Imagine the impact the skiffle bring. Just text first to 71326 to help now or visit give.crucrucru.org.org slash first. Message and data rates may apply available to US addresses only. What's up, what up, what up, what up, what up, good fam. Welcome back to the world.

Welcome back to the world good podcast what it People are so engaged now. No, they're not they're turning this off right now. They're like oh gosh Here they are again, but they're weird intros. No, here they're saying oh my gosh I've been waiting so long You're not here my intro is dialed into a tea Well, do you know do you know that when I'm not here the viewership is way down? You're right What's up friends welcome back to whoa that's good Wednesday happy Wednesday everybody

I hope you're having a great week, but guess what it's about to get better. You do listen to my podcast Well, we are going to be answering DMs today. This is an ongoing podcast, Krishna I Do, where we go into the DMs and answer them. And this week we are actually going to be answering DMs about love because- You got it, you got it, you got it prolong it. What do you mean? About love. Oh, about love.

Thank you. Because we just had our book come out how to put love first and 90 day challenge, which I am so excited to tell y'all. We are going to do something very fun in the new year. So be lucky on my Instagram. I'm going to make two announcements coming up soon about a really awesome giveaway we're doing. And if you are in a relationship, you're going to be very excited about maybe entering to

win this because it's going to be super fun. And if you're not in a real ship and if you just are learning more about love itself Which is the love of God then get ready for what we have to announce for the new year So fun stuff to come ahead but for today we're going to be answering some of these questions about love This is so fun. We really don't look at this much before we answer it So it's kind of just off the cuff Thoughts that we have to Yoss DMs. And you know, years ago I decided not to read my DMs because it just gets too crazy and

you can't really control, you know, what you're going to see when you open it. And so we decided, okay, instead of me like reading DMs and responding to them all the time, why don't we let my team go in and like pick out some of Yoss DMs that are really thoughtful and great questions. And then on the podcast, we'll answer them go in and like pick out some of y'all's DMs that are really thoughtful and great questions and then on the podcast we'll answer them more in depth. So we're excited to do that. And also if you're watching this and you see my AG1 cup, this is not even here because it's sponsored. Christmas making fun of me.

I actually just needed my AG1 today and I love it. So that was just actually kind of funny. He was laughing at me. So you're not putting that in this shot for the whole time. I'm like, you know what? I actually just love it and I needed some. So I'm so excited to jump in and answer it y'all's DMs. Okay, so the first question that I wanted to ask was,

this was a good one. This is from Ann Martin, I think. Okay, and she said, is it okay for the girl to initiate? So here's my thoughts on this. This is just, again, this is just my voice. This is just my opinion and I'm not saying this is like truth, but like I'm not like, this is in the Bible, you know,

I'm just saying this is just my opinion on this. I think that when it comes to girls initiating, do I think it's wrong? No, I don't think it's wrong. Do I think it's best? No. I think what it does when the girl initiates is it kind of sets you up to lead in the relationship. I think, and I believe, and this is in the Bible, I do believe that the man should, and a lot of ways, lead in your relationship.

Now, we, as women, have parts of relationships that will lead, and there are things about us that are so strong and so much strength. So I'm not saying we're lesser than anything like that. But I do think that a man's leadership is so important, and may I have seen the blessing of that, the benefit of that. And so I do think if you initiate,

sometimes that can set you up to be like leading in your relationship and it can kind of let the guy slack on I think his part of pursuing and his part of the pursuit, which I think is really important for him to do and to initiate and to be excited about doing and maybe even be brave enough to do and vulnerable enough to do. However, I do also think that you can give the guy

confidence to initiate. I think you can give the guy confidence to lead. So what I mean by that is like if you're interested in a guy, do I think it's best for you to go tell the guy like, hey, let's go in a day and lead that and initiate that? Not really, but do I think it's okay for you to go and say like, hey, let's go in a date and lead that and initiate that. Not really. But do I think it's okay for you to go and say like, hey, I'd love to get to know you. What's your number? I think that's great. I think that's giving him confidence to say like, hey, I'm actually interested in you.

I'd love to get to know you, you know, and then let him take it from there. And so I think, you know, you got to give a guy a hint. You got to let him know that you're're interested that you like them and then let them kind of take it from there let them plan the day. I mean I remember when Christian and I met and I am a very strong person I guess and I can tend to lead in a lot of scenarios that I'm in. I feel like if I if I walk in a room I don't even mean to but I just kind of start leading it you know I think that's just a part of my personality and that's something I didn't want mean to, but I just kind of start leading it. You know, I think that's just a part of my personality. And that's something I didn't want to be in a relationship, but I didn't really know.

I knew I was either going to have to be intentional about not being like that, or someone was really going to have to step in and lead. It was really amazing because when Christian and I started dating, like, one of the things that I did, it was like, I don't know, I was interested, obviously, by of the things that I did it was like I let him know I was interested obviously by the way that I responded to him every day and who talked on the phone often and you know Prioritize my time to be around him But also whenever it came to you asking me on a date even though you were gonna take me on a date in Nashville where I was living I was very important to me that like he planned the date And so you know you planned the whole day, which is really cool because whenever he came

in town and took me on a date, he took me to this restaurant I had never been to, and it was actually called Tupelo Honey, which is kind of sweet now that our daughter's name is Honey. So, I don't know. I'm thankful that you led in such a way that I didn't even have to think about not leading. Like, you were just leading, which is clear, it was obvious. And so it's kind of a long-winded answer to say, because it's more complex than this yes or no, you know?

Yeah, I can put the Greek, because there is, yeah, you don't want to initiate and then to have that kind of trickle down to like leading the relationship, because I do think that there is, you know, something that a man is supposed to lead. But then again, there are so many different like ways to initiate, you know, like you said,

I'm like, hey, we should, you know, what you're number, what about the initiation of like, you know, oh my gosh, are you ever gonna ask me out? What about that, is that like initiating something? This is a little sassy flavor, like. This is like a little, yeah, yeah, you know, hey, you ever gonna ask me out? What about that, is that like a Nishie, and something? This is a little sassy flavor, like. This is like a little, yeah, yeah, you know, hey, you ever gonna ask me out? Well, should I tell my first kiss story?

For me? No, my actual first kiss. No, you shouldn't share that. This is hilarious in seven years. No, no, no, no. You'll be, that's so funny. No, really? Really?

You're sharing your first kiss story of the five kids. It's funny. No. That's so funny. Really? We're not sharing your first kiss story on the podcast. It's funny. No. Okay. Well, you see, I hope and it's not a seventh grader asking if it is okay for a girl. No, I know me too, but I'm just saying it. No. And if you are, it is completely okay.

I'm saying I regret this. I regret this because I took the reins of a situation. No, we're not sure. I know you're just sure, though. Okay. After further discussion, I've decided not to share. Well, the next question actually flows perfectly. I've decided not to share, but I won't share, but I will tell you this.

What Christian just said, is it a gift for a girl to be the one you go to, or ask me out? Is it okay? Yes. Have I done stuff like that? Yes. Do I regret it? Yes. It's the point. Okay.

The times that I was like impatient and just tried to like kind of take the reins of the situation. I look back and I'm like, that's cringe. And it's so cringe that I Christian won't even let me tell the story for the sake of my own embarrassment. So anyways, like, yes, do it, whatever. It's not right or wrong. And some of you might be like, hey, I got married because I because I did stuff like that. And that's great. So again, this is not like

it's in the Bible. It's truth. This is just like, here's what I think this is what I've experienced in my life. I'm grateful that Christian led our relationship and initiated things. I did feel like I had to give him the confidence to do so at times. So a little push, but it was just encouragement. And I think there is a huge difference. I don't think I know there's a huge difference between encouragement and manipulation. So it's one thing to encourage someone to lead well and so they try to manipulate them into leading a relationship. And so just be careful. You know, you don't want to, if you have to manipulate someone into

being a relationship with you, then you should not be in a relationship with that person. You know, if you can encourage someone, you know, to take the next step to taking you on a date, and that's awesome. But to manipulate someone into a relationship is a horrible way to start a relationship. Yeah, we're good. Oh, we'll say about that. It's that there's a popular song by Thompson Square that came out around the same time. That is all we will say. Okay, moving.

That's no one's gonna get there. Moving on. Okay, moving on. Moving on. Okay. Speaking of that, okay, here's our next question. Is there such a thing as right person wrong time? Yes. 100%. 100%. We were those people. Yes. If we would have met any other time

before when we met, I don't think that I mean God is good so it could have worked. But I think if we would have met like elementary school, we'd have been like in love with each other. You think? Okay, well maybe any other time if we met like have met like elementary school, we'd have been like in love with each other. He'd think, well, maybe any other time if we met like early on in elementary school, because I would think you were cute. And I would like that you're athletic. Yep, I won most athletic in third grade, no big deal. No big deal.

We didn't have that award, but I might have won if we did. Well, you've seen it, it's in our closet. I know, I have seen it. He still has the choice. That is a complete joke. I do not have my nose that's letting me. No, but he did. I have seen it. He still has the job. That is a complete joke I do not have my most that's like he did I favor to that but I was like that your favorite It's like me honey Cabo and then it haven't all of some is like most athletic

They're great. No, it was it was most athletic and third grade Then it but it was also fastest in the mile and then it was most likely to become a rock collector. I did see all those. So I don't know why that was included. All that to say is your 17th and your 17th is a right person one time. For sure. We were joking about elementary school, but if we would have met, you know, in the plan that I had wanted to when I first met your sister, then I don't think it would have been

the right time. Yeah, I know it is fall, but in Louisiana, it is still hot and full of mess up. We're in a sweater. I have been working up a sweat still on the walks that we're going on, but no matter why you are working up a sweat, you are still losing electrolytes people, I'm still losing them every day here.

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from a biblical perspective. Yeah, if someone loses, I hasn't read that verse of Bible's like, I was a new, I was a newbie Christian I was you're gonna say you were drinking and then you said no What I didn't even catch that also Paul says Paul's Bible jokes. You're young in your faith I was young in my faith and then by the time we met I was I was more mature and sure and honestly I was not in a good place like you know

We we love to give you a hard time. I was not in a good place. Like, you know, we love to give you a hard time. I was not in a good place at all. Thank you. You do give me a hard time. We do. And I always see that. I was on a pattern of like just dating. I don't know.

I don't even really know if it was a bad thing necessarily, but I was just trying to figure it out. Trying to figure out who I was wanting to marry, but I think I was trying to do that before I really figured out who I was and what I really wanted in a spouse. And so I think I was kind of dating for the sake of like just wanting to get married and not dating intentionally for like, okay, this is what I really want from our life.

Like this is what I want. You thought you were trying to put love first, but you weren't. No, I was putting dating first before love even. And that's just marriage first. I think in my mind and some of you might can relate to this, you know, so many people in my family got married so young, which you might look at me and say, you got married young. But in my family, 18 is whatever most people in my family got married. I mean, my parents get married at 18, my grandparents get married at 18, my sister got married at 19,

my brother got married at 19, like everyone was just getting married so young. And so like, you know, I'm 18 and I'm like, I wanna get married and then I just went through a breakup, you know? And then I'm 19 and I wanna get married and then it is just not finding the right person and then, you know, I think I just so wanted to

get married that I was like dating, dating, dating to like try to find this person but in reality I I wasn't even doing it for the right reasons it was more just to like get married but I wasn't thinking like that's the biggest decision of your entire life like this is the person you're gonna spend your whole life with and this is gonna be like the father of your children and so I think in some ways I didn't think like that because I was just like so pursuing marriage instead of like love itself but in some ways I was thinking like that because that's why I dated so many people and broke up with them so fast because I was like this is not the one this is not right this is not the one so anyways I said it to say like so you might be in that season where you're like I just want to get married and I just so I'm just going to date anyone or I'm just

going to try to figure this out and that's just so not wise. You know to getting married is a huge blessing and God did design marriage and there's so much beauty in marriage but if it's the wrong person then it's not good you know if it's if it's not if it's not healthy if it's not good. If it's not healthy, if it's not fruitful, if it's not for the sake of building God's kingdom and making you better people, then it's not good. You're taking the good out of the design. I think that I'm thankful that we didn't meet before then because I don't think I quite how did my mind get what I really wanted to need it, you know, out of just what marriage actually meant more than a ring on my finger. And so it was sweet whenever we met because I had just realized the supiphany of what I had been doing

really just the day before we met and I acknowledged it to my friends and so we joke, you know, I did this video I'm not gonna date anybody for six months and I'm at Christian the next day and That's true, but the reason I said that is because I was acknowledging it Man, I'm just doing this for the wrong reasons and then I met Christian and I was like, oh, well He's really cute and everything, but I was like pump the brakes like I don't really know if I wanted to be in a relationship right now, and I was very clear with you on that, and so you initiated a friendship. And you respected the boundaries of that friendship,

and I did too, like, we did not, we weren't overly flirty during that time, we weren't talking about relationship, we were literally talking about the Bible. We, and that might seem funny to some of y'all, but like, we really were like, I mean, no joke. We were reading through proverbs together. So for 30 days, like, we were talking about proverbs one, two, three, four, five. So obviously we talked

about other things and we joked and we laughed and we had a good time. But, um, we weren't like flirting. We literally, our conversation was rooted in the things that we were studying together, the sermons we were watching together So we built this foundation out of like a friendship of both wanting to have a better relationship with God individually and encouraging each other in that which unintentionally maybe even set up our marriage to be so Christ-centered because it was like we're getting married for the sake of growing God's kingdom together as a great child and because we truly are best friends and I believe

that like you're the best person to to leave me in this life to be with me and to like be the father of my kids. So it's just you know it got more meaningful. Yeah that's good yeah that's really. And kind of like you had mentioned kind of on the last question, you know, there are times where you maybe you want, you do want to try to manipulate that, right? Like you have a hunch that it's, it's maybe the right person, but the timing feels wrong or something like that. So you kind of want to try to force it. And there's only so long that you can really force it before it kind of starts to unravel.

But yeah, for us, we really relate with that question because I do think that there's for many people, we can look at a lot of our friends and not speak for them, but we can say, well, they would have met, at a different time that wouldn't have worked out for whether it's different seasons of life with school or work or just, you know, relationships with, like, or their relationship with God from a maturity standpoint, like there's many people in our life that we can look at that question. And speaking of like forcing it,

what's so interesting is like, I was in relationships where I would try to force to make it happen, but with Christian, what's so funny is it was like, what? I wasn't forcing it at all. It was so natural and it was just happening. But, too, I think I was trying to come up with every reason why this shouldn't be happening right now because the timing wasn't right. And like, it was almost like, oh, no, like this can't be happening, you know? The timing's not right. I'm busy. It's this, it's that, whatever. You're in college. I live in Nashville. You live in Auburn. Like, there's just so many reasons why like this probably shouldn't work, but it just did work. Like, I didn't talk myself out of it, not working, and I didn't have to talk

myself into it, working it just to work. You did try to, but I mean, I had to try one time, and then you were like, stop talking, which I appreciated. I needed you to say that. But I think that, yeah, I think that sometimes we just overcomplicate things and overthinkthink things and whenever it's the right person a lot of times It comes with just an ease, you know And I will say like some of you listening your relationship might have looked different at the start It might have been a more forcing but yet look at what God's done and I think that's beautiful I actually read from a very well known Christian author

She wrote a blog one time about how like like, she didn't marry the right one, I guess, but that's still her husband. And her whole thing was like, could we have married better people? Perhaps yes. I don't know that this person was the best person for me to marry. And it was very shocking vlog because she was just like,

saying it. So honestly, that it was almost like, whoa, I've never heard anybody say that. And she said, but because we found ourselves in the Lord and because we've anchored ourselves to Christ's design for a marriage, we've created a beautiful life together and we've weathered through the hard times and we have amazing kids.

And so you might have had a rough start, you might have have forced things it might have been manipulative you might have even married someone that you're like you know good we have done better maybe however like we committed and so let's just make it an effort to be the best version of ourselves let's be better people let's you know come out of the good design that God has and you our family, a family who serves the Lord. And so there's God's story, there's always redemption. So you didn't mess it up, you didn't screw it up for your life. There's always redemption and he always can bring you back to a Solid Foundation. So if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know we do not shy away from

tough conversations Getting straight to the point and hitting things head on and my husband doesn't either if you listen to his for a men podcast He talks a lot about the damage of pornography and how that affected his life how that's affected Many of his friends life and just actually doing something to help with it It is so important that we have these conversations in it so important that we protect ourselves and each other in the next generation. We all need support, we all need accountability and community and covenant eyes can give you all of those things. So no matter if you're a man or a woman, single or a married pornography can have a devastating effect on your well-being and relationships. No judgment at all. We

all have our issues, we all have a past but now we can help the the best version of ourselves and Actually step into wholeness and freedom from that a great step to take is to get covenant eyes on your devices It's an accountability based software that helps you achieve freedom from porn Here's how it works you sign up and install the software on your devices next you choose someone you trust to hold you accountable for the activity on your devices. Next, you choose someone you trust to hold you accountable for the activity on your devices and you're never alone on this journey, friends. I love that you get to have a friend involved in this with you. So don't let shame keep you from the life that God has for you. Take back your life, take back your marriage and your relationships by getting this app to help. Try it for free for 30 days by visiting covenantis.com, entering promo code wowhoa at checkout. There's an app, but you're gonna wanna sign up

on the website first. So that's covenantis.com and enter the promo code woa at checkout. What's your favorite food? We were watching this thing last night. We're doing a marriage series right now on our sermon squad group. And it was so cool because there was this, the way that it's done is it's Tim Keller. It's the meaning of marriage isn't what it's called.

And then it's like a Christian couple and a non-Christian couple and they're all just talking about like the meaning of marriage. And the Christian couple was talking about the power of three strands. Like a quarter of three strands is not easily broken and And it says that in Ecclesiastes, and actually at our wedding, Louis had a strand for us. And we did the whole strand thing. This is a representation of how a quarter of three strands

is not easily broken. Well, the non-Christian couple said, you know, that's actually such a powerful thing, that's such a great idea and concept, because they were explaining how, you know, when they have conflict in their marriage or hard things in their marriage, what they do is they'll go to outside sources. And a lot of times those outside sources are two separate things for that both of them.

So the husband might go to a friend and then the wife might go to her friend. And so it's a good thing that they're both getting help except for where they're getting help might be two completely different pieces of advice, you know. And it might be two different directions. And so at the end of the day, even though they're going to help, they're not necessarily coming together in their marriage. And so the guy described it like this, he said, you see a stool with like three legs, it's always going to be like perfectly placed, right? There's no really room to wobble, but he was talking about how like a table at a restaurant with four legs that you've all experienced it. You sit down table and you kind of put your arms down and it goes boom, you know, it's

like a little off somehow. And this is the non-Christian guy explaining this and he goes, you know, that kind of is our life a lot of times. When hard things happen, you just kind of feel that unleveled ground. So, he said that's very an attractive thought to think that it would just be a quarter three strands. And I think that's the beauty of having a Christ-centered relationship is that when the two of you are fail, which you will, you know, you do every day, you either fail yourself, you fail

each other, you fail someone, you just fail, you know, we're human, we're in perfect, we're flawed. What you get to do is you are tethered to God. He is the first in your relationship, how to put love first, how do we put God first? Because whenever we fail, we come to a solid ground, we come to a truth that's eternal, we come to a truth that's eternal. We come to a truth that's unwavering. And so when we struggle with things, instead of going to outside sources, that might be good advice, but lead us apart from each other, we're going to the same source that's eternally good.

That's always the same that never changes the word of God. And so I just wanted to stop for a second and share that because I thought that was such a powerful thing last night. I'm like, why it's important for God to best serve your marriage? Because some people say like, oh yeah, like let's have God of the center of our relationship, but that's just a saying to them. That just means you go to church on Sunday. But to have God at the center of your relationship is not just like go to church on Sunday with your spouse. It's a 24, seven God is in our relationship. Like he is the third party in our relationship.

And he is the most important thing in my life, and the most important thing in your life, and the anchor and foundation of our marriage. So it's just so much bigger than sometimes we think about it when you think about just wanting to get married. And I think that's how people, you know, you settle for men or women who are not godly, who are not rude in the world,

because you just want to get married. But I just don't know that that that's a good thing, which actually leads us to the next question, what if God's plan isn't for me to fall in love and end up with someone? So what do you think about for someone who's like, what if it's not God's plan that I get married? That's a load of question. We, not out wetting your grandfather's book to that a little bit. Oh yes, this was just so embarrassing. This is so embarrassing. My grandpa is so...

Pebble Phil, some of you might have just seen the movie, but his life, he is an awesome man of God, but he is a little bit. He just says how it is, okay? And it was just so funny because, you know, I walked down the aisle, it's like the moment, and he was supposed to be saying the prayer whenever I get down there, like, he was gonna say the beginning prayer in my grandpa,

like my mom's dad, two papa, who you all might have seen on the podcast, was gonna say the prayer at the end of the wedding. So I get down, it's like the sweet, special moment, and he is like, well, brother Paul says, and if you think about what someone might quote scripture out of wedding even from Paul you know you might you might think he was about to bust open first Corinthians and start talking about love patience, love is kind, nope not where my grandpa went. First thing you said was brother Paul said it is better that you not marry at least you burn with passion.

It was him. He was so awkward. So, yes, that actually is in the Bible. Paul says, you know, I wish that you don't get married. I wish you would be like me and just say single because then your love wouldn't be divided. Then you wouldn't have to think about what your spouse needs and all these different things as opposed to just being on fire and on mission for God.

So actually in the Bible, Paul, it's like, it's actually put a bit you don't marry, but then he says, unless you burn with passion. So if you do find someone that you are absolutely in love with and you're burning with passion and if you weren't to get married, then you would be living, you know, actually a moral you know you would be sleeping with each other you would just not you would kind of be outside of what God has for that you'd

be in this relationship but you wouldn't be in covenant so you would be not getting the fullness of what God has planned for to becoming one you know then you should get married and so that is what my grandpa lovingly stated at the beginning of our marriage. No, that's a funny, but then again, too, there are, I think many times when you hear someone say that you always can typically give just like the cliche answers of like,

well Paul didn't marry and Jesus was never married and they were content, they were satisfied. But then again, I think something, but it is, it is hard. Like if you do desire that, it's not necessarily just a whimsical, like, well, don't, Jesus didn't marry and he was happy. So I think there are things in it where it's like, it is difficult. If you are, however old you are, if you're, you know, getting older and you do desire that and God hasn't provided that, you know,

it can be stressful and frustrating and confusing and all the things, but at the same time, you know, if it's not the plan, you know, we, and it's, I guess it's easier for me to say it because, you know, we are married, but, you know, there, there is a contentment that you can only find in God and that's not trying to be cliche or anything. But that's what the scripture talks about. Not having these idols, because you can idolize anything. You can idolize a relationship and not have it. I can idolize Sadie and kind of lose sight of what's the most important thing to me. But I think just keep following God.

And I think if you do truly desire that, I think he will provide it. And he doesn't always provide it. But yeah, it is a hard thing. It's not really cookie cutter answer. Yeah, and I think knowing that God can provide and believe in for him to provide those things that you long for, like I think about Abraham and Sarah,

who got pregnant because they decided to have a baby and she didn't get pregnant, she was like 90, right? And the Hebrews, it was referring back to that story and it says something along the lines of like Abraham, like it was talking about how old they are. But it was like a funny, it was like, it was good as dead. Yeah, they're basically, it says like, they're as good as dead and here they go having a baby.

Like that's what God provided. God did provide it. It wasn't the timing that they thought, but then not only did God provide, but who he provided, Isaac, right? Am I telling the story, right? Abraham Isaac, yes. Isaac, like, think about just all the things that came from Isaac in his life, like in the Generations Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and you just go down the line. And it's like Judah, the tribe of Israel and like all

the things. And you know, it came out of time that wasn't the time that they longed for it to come but it was the perfect timing and I always think about that with like kids because some of my friends you know are having trouble getting pregnant and we always talk about just that God is gonna bring them at the perfect time and how many times in your life like do you say like man this is timing. Like, it can just be flippantly, like, oh, this is perfect timing. And I'm like, you know, perfect timing to me in my life happens because I was born at the time that I was born in, you know, and that might not have been like, my mom's thought of like, what her perfect timing might have been. But for me in my life, like, it was perfect timing that

I was born in June 11, 1997, because then I got to meet you whenever I met you. And so like sometimes like we just, we don't understand the timeline that God does. God's outside of time. And so if you're longing for something and you're believing for it, like keep believing him for it, but also know, this is what I pray a lot of times, God, if it's your will, then it will be done. If it is your will, then nothing can stop it from being done. And if it's not your will, then I don't need it, you know, like, and I don't even want it. So if it's your will, it will be done.

If it's not your will, then I don't need it. And if it's not your will, I don't want it. And that kind of like keeps me in a place of contentment because there are things that I pray for where I'm like, God, I really long for this. I really want this. But at the same time, I know that if it's your will that I get this thing, then it will be done and nothing can stop it for happening. But I also know that if it's not your will and I'm asking you for this and it's not in

your will that I have this, then I don't want it and I don't need it to accomplish the things that you put me on this life to do. I don't know about you, maybe you wake up and you're just totally rested, ready to go, but most people need a little something in the morning or if anything, a little afternoon picked me up, looked at him, everyone gets that afternoon crash sometimes. I think I'm having it right now, but AG1 is here to help with that.

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And so for a marriage, it's like, God, if you, if it's your will that I get married, if that's something that you have for me, then Lord, I pray it will be done. And I pray that you would give me the contentment and this season to wait for that. And give me the confidence and the season to go for it. If it's on me, if I'm not putting myself out there, if I'm not pursuing relationship,

if I'm not, you know, positioning myself in places that I could meet someone awesome, think I give me the strength to go do that. Give me the vulnerability. Give me the courage. You know, praying prayers like that. But God, if it's not your will, that I marry, you know, if it, that's not what you have for me in this life. Thank God, I don't need that, you know, for me to know that I'm love beyond measure.

I don't even want that because I don't want to be distracted from what you're going to do with my life. And that's not everything, you're everything, you know. And so I think prayers like that are just so powerful. So as you're asking God, you're believing God, and you're trusting God that he knows what's best for your life. You know, marriage of course comes with all of its hardship and hard things and you're blending two families and there's all of that. So there's hard things in marriage.

Being single, there's hard things with that. You know, there's hard things in all things. You know, you gotta have God's grace for both of them. And there's beautiful things to both things. Marriage, obviously there's so many beautiful things that come with things. Marriage, obviously, there's so many beautiful things that come with that. But being single, there's so many beautiful things that come with that and opportunity.

And so I think just trusting God that where He has you is good enough for you to be content. And it's not even just good enough. It's the best place to be. And so hopefully that helps you wear your app. That's good. Let's see. All right, last question was wedding planning stressful

on YAH's relationship. I actually don't think it was stressful. I don't either. I don't either and I think there's a couple of reasons for that but I will say this is really cool. So when we got engaged, we got engaged in June, we are wedding was in November, but and so we were living in Louisiana both of us We got engaged in June. We are wedding was in November, but,

and so we were living in Louisiana, both of us, during that summer, Christian was living with our parents. So it was nice because up until that point, we had been long distance the whole time. And so it was really nice to live in the same place for a little bit. So we were together that summer,

but then he had to go back to college to Auburn for a senior year from August to November up until we got married. And that was like really, that was a little bit hard for me. And I will say, I think we were talking about this on the podcast recently with Kane, the band that was on. And we were talking about how sometimes like your anxiety about something is worse than what it actually is and actually most time it is. It's like the anxiety about what it might be is always like worse than what it actually is like.

And I just had so much anxiety about him going back to college after like spending a whole summer together and then being long distance for those two months right before we get married. I just was like, oh it's not gonna set us up. Well, you're gonna be busy with school. I'm busy with things and all stuff. Yeah, it was really like four months. Yeah, four months. Yeah, it was four months because August, September, October, November, November. So four months, so that scared me. And I wish I didn't ever think that.

Like I wish I didn't have so much anxiety about that season because it actually really wasn't bad. And honestly, I don't even remember those four months that much. That was so content. I was like, hey, we're getting married. I know. I think there's a girl thing, you much. I was so content, I was like, hey, we're in good grief. I know. I think there's a girl thing, you know.

I got like three classes this fall, I'm great. You were great. I'm great. I was a little bit more stressed about it, which looking back, I wish I wasn't, because I allowed back at that those four months. I actually don't remember anything stressful. I actually just remember like really fun things that we did, like road trips from national Auburn and just the different things that that we did and so that was just silly and that's

something I wish I didn't ever think. But one thing that was cool during the midst of me overthinking it and being a little bit anxious about it is I was like okay why don't we like have prayer books for each other and or not it's like kind of a prayer but also just like a notes for each other and each like thoughts for each other and each day you know we can just kind of write to each other and whenever we get married we can give us each other the books and then we can know like what we were thinking about each other all this time and like praying for each other so I actually forgot we did that and um which is kind of funny because that was really sweet But I totally forgot we did that and then when I was moving packing bugs is this week

I saw the journal and I was like oh my gosh And I couldn't remember what what it was and I saw I was like dated September 2019 October 2019 November 2019 and it was like you know all these thoughts that Christian was having for me and all these like really sweet notes and prayers. And then leading up to November and it was like, I can't believe we get to mirror you this week. I was like, just so sweet. And, you know, I think that sometimes, I don't know if everyone's like this. So I think as a girl, sometimes we can get like this where, and I know actually

more people are like, this is just me because they're like, you know, it reels on Instagram and memes and all this kind of stuff and it's like what she thinks we're doing and it's like the guys partying and then it's like, well, we're actually doing it and it's like, the guys just doing something like so silly and stupid and innocent. And I think sometimes like for me,

I definitely was like that. And some of that came from actually dating guys who would have been doing the thing that was not good, you know, whenever they told me they were doing something else. And so some of it was from past her or past, you know, things experience is actually happening, but sometimes I put that on Christian. And so I would be thinking, oh gosh, you know, he's probably doing da, da, da, da. And like, you know, look back at that. And one, you weren't you had

such a great group of friends and um we're so anchored in in your faith and who you were but then also I'll look back at like the notes you were writing me and I'm like why would I have overthought like what you thought of me you know I want to over thought like your love for me and so I don't know I'll look back at that time of my life and I hate the insecurities that I walk through, the insecurities that I felt, and because I really just seem to trust the man that he was and the relationship that we had.

And so, did I have a stressful time planning the wedding? Not really, I'm not really a detailed oriented. I didn't, I wasn't like stressed out about what it would look like. I knew it would be beautiful and it would all work out great. And I was super excited about my marriage. I just more so had a more stressful engagement from the time of like me just getting over insecurities that I felt.

And that's just honest. Yeah, because when you get engaged, it's like, it's that much more real. Like you're one step closer, you know, we always say like dating is more refined than being single, at least for us, you know, like being in a serious relationship just from, you know, sacrificing, being selfless and those kind of things. And then engagement was more refined than dating

and then marriage has been more refined than engagement. And now having kids is way more refined than all of them. But yeah, engagement season, it is just the tension of, you know, you know, that you're just one step closer to the covenant and even, you know, engagement to some extent still partly that, maybe kind of, I don't really know all the ins and outs of the spiritual side of just maybe being engaged, I don't really know. Kind of rambling. But being engaged, like it is, you know, there is more pressure of like, yeah, it can be easier to be insecure about things because, you know, you do, there is a ring on your finger and you are trying to plan this moment where you will make these vows that, you know,

will be forever while you're on the earth. So yeah, wedding planning wasn't really stressful. We also had just a lot of help personally, just planning the wedding. Speaking of, I literally put your ring in my pocket this morning because you forgot it. Thank you. I forgot it. I bought the city at 7.

Oh, it was at 6.53. I was 20 minutes late. I know, she can't be cruising around town without that ring and your finger boy. Well, I had no ring on my finger and I did not brush my teeth. So. This is very... I was 20 minutes late with our ring.

I'm in slides. No, you're not with me. No, I was late. I didn't know at the time. Um, but I will just say to wrap this up and that's so good, Christian. I think that, you know, something, this is a lie that we tell ourselves is that, you know, I will be content if I get the next thing in life. You know, it's like, okay.

If I get accepted into this college, then I'll be happy, then I'll be content. And then you get there and it's all crazy. There was like, if I have a boyfriend, then I'll kind of chill out, I'll be content. If I get married, then it's like, if I get engaged, if I get married, then it's like, if I get engaged, if I get married, then it's like, when we have a baby,

when we move houses, and it's like, you can just get into this trap in life, of always thinking that something's gonna bring you your happiness, something's gonna bring you a contentment, something's gonna help you stop overthinking finally, something's gonna help you stop being insecure, something's finally gonna help you, you know, have peace, and truly, no, I don't believe

that anything in this world that's fleeting in temporary can bring you that, you know, and truly know, I don't believe that anything in this world that's fleeting in temporary can bring you that, you know, into the fullness that God can. And so we tell about putting love first, the importance of it is knowing like, you know, before I get the ring on my finger, I know I'm loved because of my relationship with Lord. Before I get into that college, I have peace because I have peace at surpasses all understanding because my God is the God of peace. Before I get, before I have children, I know that the Lord is a provider and he's creating a family within me. You know, it's like knowing that God provides all that you need

before he even provides it and maybe the way that you're longing for him to. Like he provides it in and of himself. Like, Jehovah Jaira, he's the provider, but the provision is who he is, you know? And so I think about that, in my mind, it surprised me that I had those insecure thoughts because I thought when I'm engaged, I'm not gonna have those thoughts. When I have a ring on my finger, it's done.

Like I'm getting married, it's established, he chose me and I just thought, I'm not gonna be insecure, I'm not gonna. Like, I'm getting ready to establish, he chose me, and I just thought, I'm not gonna be insecure, I'm not gonna overthink things, I'm not gonna be jealous of other people because I know he chose me. But ring does not fix that problem. You know, that's a heart problem.

That's a mind problem. So I can't rely on a ring to heal all the wounds of my past because it's just not going to. And so I think that was a wake up call for me to go, oh, what? Wow, like me being engaged doesn't solve the problem and the insecure things in my heart. I got to get that healed from the Lord. So I had to really seek that in God and let him heal that in me so that I could go into

mirage strong. And so I just think, you know, whatever season you're in, whatever you're longing for in the next season to bring you, like find it before you even get there and God, let God be that provision in your life today before maybe even what tomorrow brings. So that way, whether you get a ring or not, you're good. Whether you, you know, get accepted or not, you're good. Whether you get fired or not, you're not a failure. You not, you're good. Whether you get fired or not, you're not a failure. You know, you're good.

And so I just think that that's a really important lesson to learn in life. And you might have heard people say that before, but like hear it today as like another reminder to you, whatever it is that you're clinging to to be your sustainability, is probably not going to be able to reach the depths of your soul like God only can And so that was good. Thank y'all for sending in questions. Please keep doing this

You can do and I'm the one that's good podcast page on Instagram follow along and send us any question We can talk about any topic that y'all want It's always fun to get to hear kind of the things that y'all are Thinking about and searching for answers. There were so many other great questions. We just kind of took four today that we thought were something that we could speak into a little bit.

But we appreciate you all. I hope that you'll go out and get our book. I'll put it in first and look for the announcement that we're talking about on Instagram because I think it's going to be really fun and we want you guys to be a part of it. So look forward to fun things to come and if you haven't bought the book by the book This is a great way to let publishers know that you like what we're putting out so we can keep putting out more So we love you guys appreciate y'all and thanks for listening. Thank you so much you