WHOA That's Good Podcast - Our Best Relationship Advice: First Dates, Long-Distance Relationships & How to Forgive & Move On

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

Sadie and Christian give their best advice in response to your DMs: How do you navigate trust in a long-distance relationship? What about conflict resolution in marriage? Can anyone find perfect "balance" in their day? Are we able to glorify God while working out? Sadie reveals her most embarrassing moment with Christian over the 'Find My Friends' app. Christian talks about a ministry moment that started at the gym. Sadie cautions against taking Bible verses intended for marriage and applying them to a dating relationship. Christian offers his best first date advice. Sadie shares an important lesson she learned at 18 when her dad challenged her to be confident in what she felt God was leading her to do and why it's okay to sleep on it when you need a bit more time to work through a conflict with your spouse. Never forget to invite God into the conflict resolution and keep talking to each other! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up friends welcome back to what's good Wednesday. Hope everybody is having a great week. Happy Wednesday. Y'all today I got my sweet hubby back on the show. She loves having me here. I do love having you here. You can't get enough me on the podcast. Why would I keep asking you back if I could it? I don't know, to fill in a spot. Someone canceled. You should always ask him to fill in a spot. But hey, y'all love when he's on. And we always do answer your DMs when Christian's on it. We have literally three pages of DMs for me all.

And this isn't even all of them. We're obviously not going to get to all of that. But we're going to get to as many as possible. and we're just so thankful that y'all trust us to send in these questions And hopefully we even just prayed that God would just give us wisdom to give you the best advice that we can But we're going to start out with a fun one today. This is from Tracy Davis and she said what's on y'all's bucket list? You all have a bucket list and so this is kind of fun because we did make a bucket list last year Yes, we do a bucket list and Who's bucket list you think is cooler?

We went together. Yeah, but we all but we but we saw separate separate ones They were they were one no Shark case diving is on my bucket list. That's not on your bucket list I know but we wrote it all I want'll also go. I'll be in the boat. Yes, but it's not like a desire of you though. No, it's not a desire of mine. Nora is skydiving a desire of yours and average men. See, that's what I'm saying.

Me and Christian have different fears. I am terrified of thinking about getting in a scuba diving situation and seeing a shark that is like the scariest thing ever to me. And Christian intentionally wants to go where the great whites are and jump in the cage, like no. Because that would be the coolest thing ever. That would literally make me pass that one. So that's on my bucket list. You wouldn't even be on the boat, let's be honest.

I would be on the boat. That's so not true. I would totally be on the boat. Those boats are more sketchy than the cave. Okay, I probably wouldn't be on the boat. You would be on the boat. That's so not true. I would totally be on the boat. Those boats are more sketchy than the cave. Okay, I probably wouldn't be on the boat. You would be on the dock. I'd pay for the videos. You would not be on the boat.

Okay, well, yes. I guess we technically have a little bit different of a bucket list, but this is kind of sweet. So last year, Christian and I were like, you know, we just seemed a little getaway. And so we did a little staycation. We went through Airbnb in town. And we took honey with us. And as we put her down, we were like,

let's do something fun. Like let's make a bucket list together. And it was really sweet and fun. And we, remember I do it all over again. Bucket list. And so we still have it. And I don't even think we'd check anything off. We didn't.

We haven't checked anything off. Hey, we were only a year in. We put like wild things. Okay. And so, but it was really fun. And I do encourage you to do that just for yourself or as a couple or whatever situation you're in because it is fun to just dream about doing things in life. I think two of the top ones in our bucket list one for you was, you was, and this was a mutual one we both share, is an African safari. Yeah. That would just be amazing.

Like seeing a lion would be the coolest thing. No, I mean, nuts. Yeah, and then for me is skiing in another country. Like I'm gonna go snow skiing in Switzerland or even Canada have heard it's like really beautiful skiing. It would be so fun. That would be so fun. I have every time I keep getting pregnant and then we can't go skiing.

That's true. Well, we still go, you just sit out. I know. I just drink hot chocolate, which is not a bad gig. I gotta say, it's not the worst thing in the world. Cabin life hot chocolate. I'm living a good life. Anyways, well that is a fun question.

Thanks for sending that in because Bucketless are so fun and we were inspired by the bucket list family to do that We weren't thank you bucket list family. Thank you bucket list family This podcast is not sponsored by the bucket list family, but we do love them All right, Emma Johnson sends in this question. How do you find solution in conflict going a little bit more serious now? That's a good question. I will say it is hard to find solution in conflict because you know there's a reason why you're in conflict and it's normally because you disagree on something and so for Christian and I you know

we both can tend to be a little bit too dramatic and a little bit sassy you know that's true and so we get exasperated. Everything, you know, it's like this crazy. It's not how we normally would talk kind of thing, which we're not proud of. And that is one thing I think we could work on and even helping find a healthier solution is not going to exasperate and not getting dramatic,

but actually just talking to one another the way that we do talk with understanding. But I think one thing that I would probably say is the best advice that I could give when it comes to finding solution and conflict. Well, two piece of advice. One, it's truly like stopping and like, I'm not saying that pray out loud. But to me, like when we're in conflict, sometimes I'll like literally ask a lord like, in my mind, like, God, like, help me like, understand or like,

help him see what I'm trying to say or see my heart. And so like, and bite in the Holy Spirit into it because I feel like the Holy Spirit will convict you whenever you're wrong. And hopefully the Holy Spirit can also soften the other person's heart as you talk. Now that doesn't always happen. It doesn't always happen right then, right there. But then like a week later, you might see how God was beginning to answer those prayers, those hearts beginning to soften. And we've seen that a lot of times.

I actually, we just got to see that where we had a conflict a couple weeks ago. And I was like praying that God would kind of just resolve that in us. And then a couple weeks later, Christian and I writing me a letter, that was like every single thing I had prayed, God would show him and God did, but it just wasn't in that moment. It was over time. So I think inviting God into conflict is huge. And then the second thing I would say is just continue to talk to each other until you get to a place to peace because the I guess temptation is to just give up on the conversation just

to quit just to walk away just to be like we're not doing this whatever. But Christian I have seen most of the times where a conflict will start and you're five minutes in and you're thinking there's no way out of this you're timid and you're thinking we're not gonna see eye to eye on this but the more you keep diving in and talking and trying to get understanding 30 minutes later you can be like laughing and joking and like back to normal. And so it's worth it sometimes to just dive into the conversation even though it's hard, even though it's frustrating because the in result is peace. You know, the end result is laughter, the end result is connecting more with the one that you love. And so two things I would say is one,

invite God into it and two, don't give up on the conversation just because you're frustrated or mad. Yeah, well, no, I completely agree with that. Because for me, it's like, you know, there's the verse where don't, you know, don't let your anger, but I literally just had it if I had it.

I don't know if it's not going to go down. Yeah, it's all like this. I get on your anger. I don't know their believer. Yes. But even for me, it's all like a song, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't let time go by before we like talk. And I kind of want to just move past that moment and just rush past it, then we end up getting more exasperated. So I think sometimes time is actually super helpful. I agree. If there's a conflict, give it 30 minutes, give it an hour, let yourself have time to think,

to pray, because for me, the times where it's been 50 minutes, I'm like, okay, look, let's just get over this. Hey, I'm sorry. But then it doesn't seem genuine, but I'm just wanting just to move past it, just for this, they can be fantastic. Because you're not really sorry, you just want to stop arguing

and the other person, me, a K-A, feels that. And it's like, no, we're not done with this. And then it's freshering because he wants to be done with it. And I'm not done. And I'm not just mad again, because you're not expecting my wife. And I will say like one thing We just said a wedding shower and all the like older women and younger women all gave like advice to the bride And one of the things that a lot of the older women said is it took K to sleep on it because the Bible says you know Don't go to bed angry at the believer and I think there is a difference and going to bed angry at your spouse and going to bed not angry at them but

you have something in your marriage or something that you're talking about that is a little bit unresolved because something just can't be resolved overnight. Some things are big conversations that you're having big discussions that you're having, big discussions that you're having, that might linger over time, maybe a couple of days or whatever, but it's important that in the midst of the conflict and the midst of the unresolved situation, that you're still coming together, that you still are truly loving one another and being kind and respectful for and you're not angry. So I do think there is a difference in having an unresolved situation and like an anger at your spouse. That's good. All right, next question.

I do not know how to pronounce your name. Hannah Booley. Oh, I was looking at this one. I could pronounce Hannah Booley. I was looking at Islin. That's a cool name. That's gonna hard to say. This episode is brought to you by Soul the Genero.

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Um, Hannah Boulouse kind of goes along with what we're saying. It says we're supposed to keep no record of wrongs in quotes and that verse comes from 1st Grand The End 13. Says, but how do we know when it's time to move on? Um, that's a really good question. So, I do think that this verse is so important and this is convicting me a lot in our relationship because it is so easy. Anyone who's marrying knows to keep a record of wrong, you know, it's so easy to be like, well, you didn't do this and you didn't do that. And blah, blah, blah. Remember, one year ago when you did this and it's like, you cannot do that. You cannot

bring up all the past because one moment is going wrong. And so I this and it's like you cannot do that. You cannot bring up all the past because one moment is going wrong. And so I do think it's important because to just keep it clean slate over one another because that's what the Lord does for us. Like what if God was always keeping a record of wrong over us. And I think that's the root of where that verse comes from. It's like love keeps no record of wrong. Well God is love. God keeps no record of wrong. Well, God is love. God keeps no record of wrong. Like, God's forgiveness, watch us over us. Like, when the blood of Jesus comes over us, like, our sins are forgiven. And God loves us as new and as pure and as lovely. And so for me, it wouldn't be right. And my relationship with Christian to always keep record of wrong and always bring up all the past because, honestly,

we just make for a really hard, tough relationship with a lot of shame in it. But for me to go, you know what? Like that's forgiven. It actually, actually, forgive him for it. Actually not bringing up the next time something similar happens. They're not bringing up, you know, a year later whenever it has nothing to do with the context of what we're going through right now. But actually that is forgiven and taking today as a day of new mercies and a day of new forgiveness and a day of like new opportunities is so important and just makes for a healthy relationship. So how do you know when to move on? I think you move on whenever the person confesses and asks for forgiveness and you're willing to forgive. Now if you're not married and you're in a dating relationship and someone is,

you know, perpetually doing something that is wrong, I don't think that's whenever you keep no record wrong. I think that's when you go red flag, break up with a dude, you know, I think that's whenever you go, you know, this person showing me a side of his character that is not just a one-time mistake, but it's actually a part of who he is or his sin he struggles with. So that should be like a red flag to you to go, actually I don't need to be in this relationship. And I think sometimes we take these verses that are actually intended for marriage

or intended for like God's love for us and we put them in a dating relationship. And I say we because I used to do that. And it keeps us in dating relationships that we really shouldn't be in. And so use wisdom and discernment to go, you know what? I don't need to move on from this because this is actually something I don't need to be a relationship with and break up. But if you're married, you have a ring on your finger, you have a common relationship and you know say Christian does

something that upsets me but he comes to me and says, I say, I'm so sorry, I should have never done that. I know that hurt you. Will you forgive me? And I say, I'm so sorry. I should have never done that. I know that hurt you. Well, you forgive me. And I say, I forgive you. Then it's time to move on, right? Yeah, that's good. Because I was even just going to say, because it's easy for us naturally to keep record of wrongs, you know.

Just from a standpoint of like, you did this last week and it bothered me. Just things like that. Yeah. But the thing I found is if you perpetually do that, then it's just so easy to just get better and just kind of form like resentment towards a situation or even towards a person. If you constantly just nitpick things that they're doing wrong. So I would, my advice would just be it's super difficult. We always

want to nitpick stuff and kind of like keep score just to maybe feel better about ourselves So I would my advice would just be it's super difficult, you know, we always wanted it picked up and Kind of like keep scored just if we can maybe feel better about ourselves in a sense, but Yeah talking through those things when you're struggling with it. I've like, hey, you know The last week you've been doing this has been this been bothering me, but I don't want to you know keep thinking about you doing that and In an upsetting me. Yeah, honest conversation. Honest conversation, just rigging it up and moving on, so important. Okay, now is Lynn, such a cool name.

What advice do you have to give on navigating trust, specifically when it comes to long distance relationships? So all these are kind of similar today thus far. So Christian and I actually had a long distance relationship up until we were married and so we really got to experience what that was like. And I would say like best piece of advice for navigating trust is if you're going to be in a relationship with someone and they're going to be long distance, just you have to decide, you know, once you've seen enough of their character Do you trust them or not and if you do then actually trust them and if you don't think it out of the relationship

Because I think for me, you know, there was a time where I didn't trust you and it wasn't necessarily because Christian gave me Great reasons to not trust him was really just because I'm out on security in my heart and my fears of you know Just being in a relationship because being in a relationship is scary whenever you love someone and they're gone and can make their own decisions and my tendency was to want to control you know the situation of where he was or what he was doing or whatever because that was just based out of fear for me. But you know when I look back at that there is a moment where I remember Christian taught to me about all this. And it was like in that moment,

I remember we've talked about it, when you talked about being captivated, you talked about just like the reason why I can kind of trust you. My heart was just settled. And I decided pretty much that day, like I'm gonna trust you, like I am gonna forget the thing that made me

lack trust in you. I'm not gonna bring that up anymore like we're in a new space now and from that point I pretty much did. I mean I changed the insecure ways. I changed the the controlling aspect of my life that I had honestly brought into a lot of relationships and just started to like settle in my heart that I choose to trust Christian, you know, and if Christian breaks that trust then we'll deal with the heart that I choose to trust Christian. You know, and if Christian breaks that trust, then we'll deal with that then. But I choose to trust him. And so I would just say, like, trust, you know, it really is partly on the other person's side to show you that they're trustworthy, but it's a whole lot on your side as well to choose to trust that person

and to really press passes insecurities and choose to not act in them because they're not truth, you know, they're insecurities, they're based out of fear. And so being honest with yourself about that and being able to lay that down and say, you know what, I choose to trust this person because this is who I'm choosing to be in a relationship with. And if I can't get to the place of trusting them and I'm making this relationship miserable because of my control and because of my jealousy and because my lack of trust,

then I need to get out of this relationship and make figure out my own heart. And I mean, I'm being brutally honest because I experienced that in multiple relationships from my end, because I had trusted shoes. And with Christian, I think if I wouldn't have changed that, we would not have the relationship that we have today. And I'm so thankful to the relationship we have today

because I got on board and started to trust. Yeah, I mean, I think what you said is great, because I think specifically, you know, you got to get to a point where you do distrust them. I think it's not not practical that people can do is form relationships with people's friends. You know, like you were friends with a lot of my friends, and I think just having that accountability

to where you were able to trust my friends and not always to trust me at the same time. Because at the end of the day, it's not fun for either one. It's not fun at all. If you're doubting someone in a long distance relationship and then the other person's like, I think I can't do anything because you know, my girlfriend doesn't trust me. Then it's just you're it's honestly miserable for both people. It really is. It's a miserable way to do relationships.

So you have to just trust and you also have to be trustworthy like don't you're in a lot of distance relationship It can be easy to like You know do sneaky things or whatever because your girlfriend's not there or whatever something stupid like that But just be trustworthy and if you're the person that needs to give trust then give it and form relationship with their friends and Make this isn't for yourself and if you don't trust the person, then get out of the relationship. Don't stay in this like weird, unhobby, not fun. It's not fun for either person.

Yeah. It's not for the one giving trust. Relationships should be fun. You know, yes, there are elements of it that are hard. And you're going to have to fight for it, but dating should be fun. Like, it really should be. And I remember someone told me that in a relationship, I was in, that was not very fun.

Added and trust him. And he was a very trustworthy on stuff. And she was like, say, it should not be this hard. Like, it should be fun. And I was like, no, like, those ships are hard. And like, no, like marriage is hard at times. But like, dating should not be that hard.

Dating should be fun. And I get to experience that fun with Christian. And yeah, we had moments of these things, you know, sparking up, but we dealt with them, we talked about it, and we didn't live in that. And so just don't live in that space. Like, if it's not fun and you can look at your life, you can honestly say, you know, it's not fun

because I don't trust this person, it's not fun because my insecurity, my jealousy, my whatever, then like go to the person and apologize and be like, Hey, this is not actually the way I want to do relationship. Like, I've been jealous, I've been controlling, I actually do trust you. You've given me no reason to not like have a little like, you know, confession moment and turn the page, start having some fun in your relationship. I was like, if you're on fire, my friends and you see them at dinner, you know, and your first thought is like,

oh, are they with another person? Things like that. It's like if that's your first reaction and you need to talk through those things. This is a personal attack. It was not personal. It was a personal attack. No, because one of my most embarrassing moments

of my last year of Christian is that moment. I got to find my friends. And I thought he was at his house because he didn't tell me he left the house which normally he would be like, hey, going to dinner and I look at his friends and he's at this like my bone fish no but it was like it was next to the outland mall

yeah but I was at a restaurant with my parents but I didn't know that okay and so I was upset because I was like why didn't you tell me because I had been in another relationship before Christian where this person told me he was doing homework at the house and I got an Instagram and literally with tag and photos of him with girls at a bar Okay, so what Christian didn't know is that I'm coming from a Pass wound I'm saying someone telling me they were at home and being at a bar. And so my fear was, oh no, it's going to happen to me again, but Christian was actually just with his parents at Bonefish, okay? Which was, you know, a really good moment in our relationship for me to learn like, and

to just kind of acknowledge, Christian is not who that guy was. This relationship is not what the other relationship was, and not bringing past hurts into this new relationship. And it was embarrassing, but it was also good for Christian to know why I was so sensitive because of what I had come from. Now, that isn't excuse me for doing that. I shouldn't have been as upset as I was at night,

but at the same time, I think there's a little understanding because I had experienced getting tagged on photos of my boyfriend at a bar with girls. When he told me he was studying at home. So there is that too of understanding where the other person's coming from, but also for you not putting on something, someone your own insecurities and your own past hurts. So that was a good example.

All right. Moving on. That was not meant to do that. I just felt like I was supposed to say that. That was good. All right. Moving on, we got Tory lemons. And I don't know if your Instagram handles because you like lemons or that's your last name But it's pretty cool and she says feeling chronically single advice on taking advantage of this season So when we read this question we really wanted to just acknowledge it because being single is not like a chronic like illness, you know being singles actually a really good thing and single is actually a really good thing and it's actually a really beautiful thing. And when we look at the Bible, the Bible does, obviously talk

about relationships, God created man and woman to be together. God did create relationships, He created the idea of marriage and that is a beautiful thing, but the Bible also is such an advocate for singleness. Paul, who is one of the legends of the Bible, who wrote most of the New Testament, Paul was single and not only was he single, he loved being single and he encouraged the church, hey, if you don't have the passion, you know, to get married that's like burning within you, then say single. He's like, I think it's better you say single because Paul's saying, then your heart's not divided, your desires aren't divided. You can just fully be for Christ.

And so, I love that that's in the Bible because it just shows us like, singleness is not a bad thing. Culture, you know, at times can make it seem like a bad thing because all of the shows that everyone's obsessed with is relationships, you know? We love the bachelor and love is blind and married at first sight in any way that we can be in relationship with one another. And then the Instagram couple that's like the cutest it couple and all

this stuff and so it makes you feel like, well what's wrong with me if I'm not in a relationship? But let me just tell you there is nothing wrong with you if you're not in a relationship. Paul would actually say, you're in the greatest spot. You're in a great place because you can fully live out the life that guys created you to live without any distraction. And so when I look back at my singleness, I wish I would have been more settled in that. And then like, you know what,

this is such a great time in my life where I'm not distracted, where I'm not being pulled one way or another, like I get to fully focus on who I create a meet-a-me-do, be, who I create a meet-a-me-do, be, and what he's called me to do, and just live out on mission for him.

And so what Paul is saying is an encouragement. So restructure your mindset, even when writing a question like that, that's not a bad thing, that it's actually a good thing. And how do you take advantage of that season and just a question like that, that's not a bad thing, that it's actually a good thing. And how do you take advantage of that season and just seeing it like that? This is an opportunity for you to undershack daily, like seek out who you are and what you're called to do

and just live on mission for the gospel and also just create great friendships, like friendships that last forever. I mean, when you get married one day, you're gonna wanna have bridesmaids and how you gonna have bridesmaids. You don't have any friends, you know, so take the time to really work on you focus on you But I'm not just you but focus on the Lord who God is learning more about him and also creating friends Sweet alright Colleen Taylor

Advise on balancing marriage and ministry life. So we got a ton of questions on this on just Balance in general how to balance ministry and First thing I want to say is I don't think that ministry is something that you balance. I think ministry is a Call on your life a 24-7 Here I am Lord Send me going to making disciples, love in the Lord, you God, love your heart, soul, mind, strength, loving your neighbor as your self-ministry is not something that we add into our day, it's not something

that's just for a Sunday, it's not something that's just set apart when we go and you know, we give to the poor ministry is always. Ministry is 24, so ministries in my marriage. Ministry is me as in my marriage ministry is me as a mom ministry is me as a friend ministry is me as a daughter ministry is me just being me because that is the dedication of my life you know I'm dedicated to the call of God on my life and so ministry is always so I don't think that it's like a thing that you necessarily have to balance. I also want to say just with the word balance, like, I love how Jen Johnson says it. She's like, what is balance? Like, how do you find balance with all the things that you do with, okay, if you're going

to say ministry is your job, it's in like working at a church or, you know, being at home with your family and doing all the things you have in a day, like, it's just a juggling act. It's just, you know, finding out what works for you. It's, um, doing all things to the best of your ability. It's knowing that some days you're going to flop, knowing that some days it's going to be a little unbalanced. And other days it's going to be perfectly balanced. You know, some days I might have to work late, but then other days I don't have to work at all, you know, in some days, you know, I have nothing in my plate and some days I have everything

I'm up late. And so I think it's just a posture piece, not so much of a balance of everything being perfectly in order, but just a posture of, you know what? I'm going to do all the things that God's called me to do to the best of my ability. I don't get to add anything. It's going to take away from the things that God's put in my life to be responsible for. And I think one thing that's important to note, and I told my friend this other day, because she's a mom, and she's about to go back to teaching. She's just experiencing that mom guilt of, you know, I'm gonna be away from my daughter, I'm gonna have to work, and how am I gonna balance this?

And I remember when I started working, after having honey, it was really hard for me, just because it is hard, you know, you're leaving your daughter. but I just remember being like, okay, God has called me to preach and teach and God has also called me to, you know, lead this ministry, but God has also called me to be a mom. And, you know, if God has called me to both of these things and like, God has got to equip me for both of these things.

One is not going to fail just because God's coming to both. He wouldn't say, hey, I'm going to make you a mom, and I'm going to call you to lead this ministry, and you're going to fail at one. No, I believe that God gives me the capacity to be great at both. That doesn't mean I'm perfect at both, but to be great at both and to be fully capable

of doing both. And so, my balance is knowing that when I'm at work, I'm doing things to glorify God. I'm doing things to hopefully make the world a better place for honey and then whenever I'm at home and I'm a mom to my sweet girl, you know, I'm also glorifying God. I'm also doing things to help her know how love she is

and grow her and do her life well. And so I think that might be a little bit of what the balance looks like that juggling up to just doing it well. Just in your heart knowing, if I'm called to it, God's going to quit me for it. If I'm called to it, God's going to give me the capacity and the strength to be able to do it. Yeah, you said it a little while ago, but it's never going to be perfectly balanced. And I think about the scales where, you know, it's like the two things on each side. It's like, ministry family life, like it's never going to be, it's like the two things on each side. It's like,

Minister of Family Life, like it's never going to be, it's always going to be doing this. So it's always a juggling act because even, even too, if you think about it, balance, you know, I think you can get so caught up with like, well, I read for an hour a day, so that means I got a fill, you know, I got to do something with my wife for an hour. So it's like even something trivial like that. You know, it's always going to be a joke. Every day is different. Just like, you know, our relationships different every day. Our relationship with God is different every day, whether that's we're reading more in a day or praying more in a day or we just worship today. You know, I think it's

just a posture, like like what you said, it's just how do I juggle all these things and make it work? It's not how do I end each day, you know, hoping that I've balanced everything perfectly because there's never going to balance. No, you didn't fail. You know, if one day didn't go great, you didn't fail tomorrow's the new day. You know, say today wasn't perfectly balanced. Okay, tomorrow, Lord, help me to, you know, I'll need to think more about like the things

that you want me to desire today, whatever it is, you know, like be practical with it. Okay, Paige Hill asks, how can you make Christ a center focus in the gym? It's all you boo. Yeah, that's good. And then similar question, how do I glorify God at the gym while working out?

Yes, so I don't know if this was meant for me or for Sadie, but I'll let Sadie speak into it as well. Well, I've been into the gym since the moment I test the positive on a pregnancy test, so I'm gonna let you go for this. That's true. But no, it's really just like what we just talked about again, it's posture, you know?

Like for me, if I'm working out of the gym, I usually have to be listening to a worship song or something like a sermon or something. Cause for me, I know that can be easy if I'm doing weights or whatever, I'm looking at myself in the mirror. And it's like, how do I take my mind off of like, just wanting to look good in myself? It's, how do I take my mind off of like just wanting to look good in myself? It's how do I fill that with Jesus?

So if I'm resting between a set, whether that's praying for something or someone needs help across the gym, how can I go help them or if they need to spot or whatever? I had this moment happen a few months ago. I was doing the row at the gym, I was listening to worship, and I saw this kid happen a few months ago. I was doing the row at the gym. I was listening to worship, and I saw this kid wearing crocs, and I just felt the Lord say, go buy him a pair of workout shoes.

So I went over and I asked him, what's the issue he wore? He said he was a size 9.5. Went on the bottom shoes, and I went on the website, and then I felt God save by him, workout shoes, or by him running shoes. so by my work as shoes and running shoes. And I say that to say, I really do feel like if I was listening to Drake or some secular

song, I really don't think that I would have been thinking about his needs. And the mind. I don't think my mindset would have been thinking, how can I help this person or what is this person need? I think I would just be thinking about myself in the gym to look good. I'm going to just go get the best workout I can and not have eyes to see those around me. So I think I glorify God by not thinking about myself when I'm working out, you know, how can I train my body physically while simultaneously doing something that benefits me spiritually and having eyes to see those around me and those in need?

And I think that is why you don't say ministry is a balance in your day, something just after your day. That's why you see it as a 24-7 because if we were balancing our life perfectly, then Christian would say, you know, my ministry time is in the morning, I'm going to pray, I'm going to worship. I might Call a friend whatever it is see a mentor whatever do something for somebody And then you know, I'm gonna go to lunch We're gonna go to work and then I'm gonna go to the gym because that's like my gym time

And if you see that just as your gym time and not as a time where It's an opportunity for ministry Then Christian wouldn't have had the eyes to see the ministry before him. And ministry sounds like a job, but ministry is like I said, loving God and loving his people. And so Christian, you know, pasturing himself in this position to love God and to love his people, he was able to see, hey, that guy's wearing crocs, which is fine, but in a gym, like maybe he doesn't have shoes. And so he was able to see, hey, that guy's wearing crocs, which is fine, but in a gym, maybe he doesn't have shoes, and so he was able to get him the shoes that he needed, and it was such a sweet moment.

And that's why you don't just say, okay, I have to balance everything perfectly, because if we were balancing perfectly, that would have never happened in Christian's row time. You know, that would have been his row time. And so I just love that, like, your eyes were open. Well, the next time I go back to the gym, I went and had a moment like that. You know, I'm just like, well, I had the. Well, the next time I go out to the gym, I went up at a moment like that.

Yeah. You know, I'm just like, well, I had them on me yesterday. I don't have something similar with that today. Yeah. But it's everyday is different. Yeah, it's a true. That's good. This is from Lexi and oh wait, no, Lex Bianchi.

Yeah. We have lots of these names. It says, how does say no to an opportunity when everybody expects you to say yes? So this is a really hard one because- Yeah, yeah, I'll let you take this. Yes. When there's a lot of expectation on you to say yes to something, it can be hard to stand up for yourself and say no, especially when everyone's like, why would you not make

this decision? This is obvious. This is the best decision or whatever. But there's some reason in your spirit that's saying, no, this is not a good decision, this is not actually what I want to do. I think in those moments, you just have to be super, super confident in what the Lord's saying to you and super confident in what your decision is and share that with the people who love you and who have that expectation on you. If it's your parents, sitting down with them and saying, Hey, I know this seems like an obvious yes, but because of XYZ, because of what I

feel like to do, because of what I love, because of what my future goals are. This actually doesn't align with that. And so I'm going to say no. And I just ask that you would trust me and trust God in me to know that I'm making a decision that is based on what I feel like is best for my life, you know, and they can speak into it and they can kind of help navigate that but I think just being super confident in what you feel God's leading and articulating that to those around you because when God's asking to do something, the Holy Spirit's leading to do something, you have to give grace to the people around you to know that he's not saying that they're

already else. He's saying that to you. And so being able to articulate that to other people and share that, I think is a really fair way to do things. I also think, you know, maybe it's not a God thing. Maybe God's not necessarily leading you. Maybe it's a personal preference and you're just like, I really just don't want to do that.

Actually, just want to do this. You don't have to manipulate it and make it sound like, I really just don't wanna do that. I actually just wanna do this. You don't have to manipulate it and make it sound like a God thing. You can even just say, honestly, like that is just not even what I like to do. You know, that's not even like who I am. You know, but to bring God into it, maybe say like, but I'm gonna pray, I'll give this a fair prayer time

and give it a week and pray about it. And if you're still like, you know, I do not feel right about this and going back and saying like, okay, honestly, like at first, I just didn't want to do this. But after you're praying after seeing the Lord, I still don't even feel a piece about doing this. So just bringing people into the conversation, not just being like, why do you not understand? Like give them an opportunity to understand by you explaining, you know, at the end of the day, even if they don't understand, like you're going to have to say, like your yes is going to have to

be yesterday, no is going to have to be no. I mean, I think the older you even if they don't understand, like you're gonna have to say, like your yes is gonna have to be yesterday, your nose is gonna have to be no. I mean, I think the older you get and the more you go, that's one of the best life lessons you can learn is like letting your yes be your yes and your no be your no because saying no to things is gonna be just as important as saying yes to things because your nose are gonna lead you to be able to say yes

to the right things in life. And I think, you know, I used to just say yes like everything, just opportunity, you know. And then I was like going to do all these things that I really just didn't even want to do or have time to do. And then I wasn't doing things that I actually wouldn't do because I said yes to all these things. I didn't even care about doing it. And I had to get, you know, a little bit more wise. And the fact that like, hey, you know what? We have certain saying no to things so that I can say they're right, yes to things. And so bringing your family, bringing your friends into that,

I think that if there's a moment where all your friends and family and all your people in your life are saying no, it's definitely worth stopping for a second and seeking the Lord and asking them why, you know, they're saying no to it. But at the end of the day, you really do have to be confident in what God's calling you to do. You have to be confident in who you are and the path that you feel he's taking you on. I remember there was a time for me when, you know, I had told my dad, I was like 19 and no, I was 18. And until my dad, I really wanted to do something in Louisiana, had this whole plan,

this whole idea that I wanted to do. And then about three months later, I told him I want to move to Nashville. And my dad was like really upset because he was like, so you're just going to throw away all the stuff that you just told me for like, I was doing your life here to move to Nashville. And I was like, I can't explain it,

but like, I just feel really called to go. And I was like, I can't explain it, but I just feel really called to go. And I wasn't like being completely honest with him by saying like, I don't have peace by saying like, I truly feel like the Lord is saying like, go. And my dad said, you know, if you can't be confident in this house, sharing with me, why are you doing what you're doing? You're never gonna be confident when the world asks you.

And so we had a great conversation and I ended up moving to Nashville and you know spending years there, I really sowing some seeds for this ministry and seeing what God was going to do. I met Christian there, I met my best friends there. Like it was the most fruitful time. I'm so glad I'm in Nashville. But then guess what? God called us back here and now we live in Louisiana and I'm actually doing the things that I told my dad I was gonna do at 18. So it wasn't known then at 18, but it's a yes now at 25.

So I think that's an example of, only you really know what God's putting your heart to do and your parents are gonna look out for what's best for you and your friends are too. So giving them an insight to what's going on inside instead of just hoping they would understand I think it's super important and the best and fair way to go about navigating questions like that Yeah, and more than likely, you know, someone's always gonna be disappointed. Yeah, usually whether you say yes or no

And I think like Sadie said just getting to a point where you're confident in your answer and you're not making decisions Based on what other people want you to do. Just getting over that hurdle, I think is going to be super helpful because at the end of the day, you're always going to be disappointing someone more than likely and you just going to do what's best for you. Okay, so two more, one after this one. What's the best way to understand scripture on a deeper level? Sarah Beckwith-Assass.

Okay, so I would say best way to understand scripture on a deeper level. Sarah Beckwith, Assess. Okay, so I would say the best way to understand scripture on a deeper level is literally to look up commentaries and to search just deeper into the context behind it from smart people who have studied it and know it and know it better than we do. Enduring word is like my all time favorite commentary. I read it all the time pretty much any time before I preach a message I'll go read all the scripture that I'm about to read and the whole chapter through enduring word. And so basically it's just like the Bible and then it's like lots of commentators who write to help you give more understanding verse by verse. So I love that. That's a great way to understand scripture. More meaningful.

But every book, every chapter, every verse. Yeah. We have it. So I love that. That's a great way to understand scripture. More meaningful. But every book, every child, every verse, it's all. Yeah. We have it. So you can do that online. And then we also have the printed out books, because I study that a lot. And there's an app. So great way to learn, I think, another way is, you know, if you love words, you can look at the original context of the word, because sometimes in the Greek and Hebrew, it takes the word to a whole another meaning. That's a fun way to understand scripture deeper and then also just looking up sermon. Sometimes I'll be on something and I'll be like okay um Luke 5 okay and I'll be like I love this but like I don't want more and so I'll look up like Louis Gaglue preaching on Luke 5 you know or Matt Triller preaching Luke 5 Jackie Hooper whatever it is whoever

you like to go to um look up them and maybe they've already taught on that and that's a great way to understand it more So I would just say like look up people that you know preach on this look up comment Terry and study it in the Original text and those are great ways to dive in a little bit deeper All right, Krishan you want to answer this one? Yes cats Carsella these are people's interior handles, so sorry if your name is not really this, but we love it. Yeah, something like that.

Well, okay, you ask if you're listening to this or watching this. You ask best first date advice. And some of that I would say is find out what you're, whoever the person that you're going out of date with is interested in. So for Sadie, I knew that Sadie liked watermelon gum and the watermelon star pets kids. Big watermelon person, you don't really like watermelon, which is interesting.

I know. I do love watermelon, but I don't even eat that kind of stuff anymore. Yeah, it's weird. It was always when I had that. Never. I don't know. Okay, so when we were dating. Okay, yeah, probably, that's weird. It was always when I had that. Never. I don't know. Okay, so when we were dating. Okay, yeah, probably that's on me actually.

So I knew that you liked that. So on our first day, before she got in the car, I had watermelon gum and the watermelon sacrifice kids just sitting on her chair. So I stopped at a gas station before I got to her house and just had it on the chairs when she opened the door. She saw it. So it's just something sweet like that. Like find out what they like, what they're interested in and you know, whether it's taking them to a restaurant that they like that kind of food. Just little details like that.

Yeah, I would also say take initiative if you're a guy and actually plan the date because Christian was coming up to where I lived. I lived in Nashville. He lived in Auburn and he was going to take me on a date in Nashville, but he's still playing the whole thing, even though that's where I lived. And he actually took me to a restaurant that I'd actually never been to. And it's so sweet because it was called Tupelo Honey.

That was our first date, and now I haven't done any honey, full circle, crazy. But it was just really sweet because, you know, you could have been like, well, I'm not from there, like you take me. But he was, you pursuing me and he's like you know I'll plan the date so we did that went to Topgall who it's shopping on 12 South and it was like really really fun. So yeah just take initiative if you're the guy you don't make the girl plan it plan the thing it'll be fun even if

it's just like simple it doesn't matter. I think even the fact that you planned it or made a reservation or did it even if it's so simple goes such a long way and says so much about the way that you're going to lead in a relationship. It's not bad for the girl to plan it but I do think that that means a lot whenever a guy you know takes initiative on a first date. Yeah and pursues you. Well these were great questions questions. Like I said, we have so many more. We didn't even get to really even, I don't even think half of these questions, but we also are open to taking more.

So, DM, well, that's good podcast, Instagram, and if you have any questions you want, Christiana, or my mom and I discuss, we would love to talk about them. Thanks so much for tuning in, and I hope that you learned a lot, and I hope you have a great rest of your week, and the happiest Wednesday. Love you guys, and we'll see you next time. Peace, bye!

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