WHOA That's Good Podcast - Our Best Relationship Advice: Waiting for Marriage & Is He the One? | Sadie Rob & Christian Huff

Episode Date: May 11, 2022

Sadie and Christian answer your DMs about setting healthy physical boundaries while dating, what to do if you mess up, and how to know you're with the right person. They also open up about whether women should pursue men, what it looks like to guard your heart, how to decide it's time to walk away from a toxic relationship, what they believe about near-death experiences, and what roles women should play in the church. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, whoa, that's good fan. Welcome back to the whoa, that's good podcast. That was not, that did not sound like you. I know, that, I, I rehearsed it better than you did. You panicked. Well, welcome back to the whoa, that's good podcast. Friends and fam. I did not say you say a podcast He did say food gas. Oh my gosh. Why do I keep inviting you back? Because your ratings are through the roof on the lawns. So you kind of need me. Oh my gosh. Well if you are not familiar with my special guest today it is my lovely husband Christian Huff. Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you, it's an honor to be here.

I think I'm your most invited guest back. You are. Thank you. It's because when I can't get a guest, you always say yes. And you can't get enough of me, so. That's true, both are true. I'm just getting, I actually intentionally slot you in

every now and then, so that together we can go through the DMs together because it's always fun to answer the DMs with you. Yeah, that's true. You have a lot of wisdom. I enjoy answering them with you. You have a lot of wisdom and you have a lot of humor and that is something that we're all needs more of.

Thank you. When wisdom meets humor, you get excellence. Just do your jobs at that. We did it. You can say something like that. Okay. Anyways, let's go through the DMs. Okay, I already printed out some of these things.

So I'm not looking at my phone because I printed out some things that people DMed us. Let's just go there. Someone said, where do we go when we die? And follow a question. Are we immediately with Jesus' question mark? And another question within the question of the other question. Do you believe in near-death experiences, like when people claim to have seen Jesus or loved ones? So go.

That's a heavy first question. I probably wouldn't have been laughing so hard if I knew that I was going to be the first question. Well, my first thought is, you know, I think, obviously we believe that there's a heaven in the hell. So, the whole picture, that's what we believe. But the idea of, like, where do we first go? I really don't know how many references there are in the New Testament. You know, two, that specifically, the one that I can think of is, you know, the thief on the cross with Jesus. And when Jesus says, today you'll be with me in paradise. I think that's really our one

reference point to like what happens right after we die because he says today. So yeah, there's also so much about like God's preparing a home for us and the word. So is it ready or is it being prepared or what does that look like? So yeah, I mean the theologically speaking we are not like scholars and we don't know the answer to that. I mean you know even the Lord says like no one knows the time or the place that like Jesus will come back and when that's gonna take place but as far as like when you die I mean yeah we do believe that there's a heaven in a hell.

And actually her Jordan B Peterson say something about that. He was like, if you actually believe there's a heaven and a hell that should change everything about the way that you live. That's so true. I mean, if we really believe that Jesus is a savior of our life from hell and earth and eternal hell

for a heaven, that should change everything about the way that we live our life. Like we should be eager to tell people that and tell people that in a loving way, but a serious truthful way. And so I like to remind myself that that's what I believe because I do believe that. For sure. And do I believe in your death experiences where people meet you? I do. I have no reason not to believe that.

I mean, I feel like people's stories, I don't know if you've ever read Heaven is For Real. I know we read it and it blew my mind. Sorry, imagine Heaven, but Heaven is For Real is also one of those. The Heaven is For Real story is also in Imagine Heaven. But Imagine Heaven is a series of different people who have had near the experiences and you know,

Saul, Jesus, or had a moment of seeing heaven or seeing old loved ones. And it was so cool because what they did in, imagine heaven, what do I keep getting this to mix up is they referenced all of it with scripture references. So all these like scripture references about heaven, they lined it up with what people said they experienced. So, I mean, I don't see why not. I think God is so big.

If God wants to reveal that to people, then that's awesome. And if he doesn't reveal it to other people, then that's his will. And so, I definitely think that that's true. I mean, you've seen some people and hear about people dying and seeing Jesus and then they come back and it changed everything about the way that's true. I mean, you've seen some people and hear about people dying and seeing Jesus and then they come back and it changed everything

about the way that they live. So like I said, like if you actually believe that and if you actually experienced that or knew that that was true, I think you would live a lot differently. So I think it's good to ask yourself the question, too. Like, where do you think you go when you die? Where do you think you will go?

Are you in need of an eternal Savior who's Jesus? Or, you know, did you have a new experience? What was that like? Does that change a little bit about the way that you think about life? So yeah, heavy hitter. So heavy hitter. This is why you gotta check your DMs every now and then. Yeah, well, even going back, you know, to the first thing, there are, you know, scriptures

where it talks about a new heaven and a new earth and it's this that will be, you know, our bodies will be, you know, I can't think of what the word is, but like, we'll be reconnected, I guess, with our physical bodies, something like that. But I don't know if this is- I don't know, I think we get new heavenly bodies. Oh, we do, but I'm saying like, but there, I think it does make a distinction between like the spiritual and like-

Definitely. Like we get like re- like a new body. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so All this is a obviously we don't know all the answers to that I think we'd have to dig in the Bible But as far as the over all answer we're very confident in our belief of yes There is a heaven and a hell we believe we're going to heaven because we've been saved by Christ and

We also believe that near to the experiences are real. So anyways, all right, let's keep going. That was a heavy one. Let's see if there's anything a little bit lighter, but you know, honestly, as I was going through these, there's a lot of serious questions, which I think is good, because, hey, we gotta talk about this stuff,

and we can't shy away from it. All right, let's see. I'm not seeing any lighter options. So let's just go straight in. So one said, is it good to take a break in your relationship for a week or so to discern separately with God about if you want to get married to this person? Yes. Yeah, for sure. I mean, if you think about it, if that's going to be the person that you're married, you know, taking a week off, comparatively, the 40, 50 years, I mean, that it's not a lot of time if you think about spinning forever with somebody. So I think

it's definitely smart to take time to discern those things through prayer and also just, yeah, asking the Lord to reveal what that relationship is going to ultimately unfold to look like. He or she make you a better person and all those different things. But I think if you look at it, because in the moment, taking a week off seems like a while. I'm not going to talk to you for a week that sounds kind of daunting. But if you think about it, it's every thing dramatic when you're doing it.

But if you think about it in comparison to dramatic when you're doing it. Yeah, but if you think about it in comparison to like potentially 20, 30, 40 years with somebody then a week does not sound like that long. Yeah, well we did that. Yeah. We took a couple days because I was like, I really need to sit with the Lord and like discern, is this really who I want to marry? And I know it's funny telling you like, you know that, but it's funny talking about that. Yeah.

But Christian had Christian I had had this big like argument and it was our first and big argument and then I kind of like Freech me out like oh gosh like this is right But Matt Chandler said this in mainly of souls. He said you're gonna argue with someone figure out who you want to argue with Which is a good advice and so it wasn't that I was scared because we were arguing because I think argument is a good thing. Someone also asked us in here, how do you avoid arguments? I don't think you should avoid arguments. I think you should have arguments because arguments lead you to a better place, right?

More of a mutual understanding of each other. And so I don't think it's bad to have an argument, but it just scared me, you know. And so it took three days and we didn't talk and I just really set with the Lord. And I remember I pre-walked actually where we lived now, which is kind of cool. And I pre-walked it and prayed and asked the Lord for wisdom. And is this going to be my guy? Because I mean, if you weren't going to be my husband, then to me, it wasn't worth staying in the Shrewship where it was about to get hard. But if you were, then it would be what be my husband, then to me, it wasn't worth staying in the storage that it was about to get hard.

But if you were, then it would be, what? You were gonna cut me off. I mean, I didn't want, I just wanted to know. Like, I wanted to seek the Lord because that's something I didn't do with other relationships. I just, you know, trailblazed through it and said I'd be like, God, it's just what you have for me.

So I stopped, I had pause and you were nervous. I was, yeah. Sadie was praying, is this the man for me? And I was praying, please don't break up with me. I remember though, I remember though, this was so good for me. I got before the Lord, and I loved you. I really did not.

I already told you I loved you. I knew I loved you. I really did love you. And I told Lord, God, I love this man, but I love you more. And so if this is something I need to surrender, I will. And that was actually a really scary prayer for me. Like, I really was nervous that it was going to be a no and I was going to have to break out with you because I actually did love you. But I needed to know that confirmation from God because I didn't want to walk into a relationship that was gonna separate or make me and God's relationship

like, you know, just more descent. I wanted it to only make it closer. And when it's the wrong person, you go away from God, when it's the right person, you go to God. And you can also be with the right person and go away from God if you aren't living for the Lord. But I just want to know like,

is this the guy that we're about to like do this thing with? And you were. And after that, I didn't it's gone, it's gone, it's gone. It's gone, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone. It's gone, it's gone, it's gone. It's gone, it's gone. It's gone, it's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone.

It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone.

It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. So I would say like, yes, take the time, ask the Lord, seek his guidance, because if you do, it'll probably save you from like doubts in the future, as you head towards that. So someone also asks when it comes to marriage and stuff,

or getting married, or dating, engagement. They said, how do you set healthy physical boundaries when you know you wanna get married, but it's not time yet, or you're too young? One couple says that they know they wanna to get married and because they are struggling to keep healthy physical boundaries for a marriage, they're not sure what to do. And another couple says they feel too young because they're also not sure what the fix would be.

So these are people who are 18 and 19 years old. I mean, obviously, there's a lot to this. I mean, we can only give you advice from a far I would say first of all like seek your like local mentors your mom your dad your friends people around you But I mean as far as physical boundaries. I'll say this. I know when you're dating that seems like it is everything You know and you're just like oh I just want to get married so that we can have sex or whatever. Marriage is so much bigger than sex. It just is. I mean, that's a beautiful aspect of marriage. I got created within that. And trust me, it's beautiful within the boundaries of marriage.

It's like Adam and Eve when they were naked and they felt no shame. It's that feeling of like, I feel no shame as opposed to pre-marital sex. Like, they're so much shame. So I would just encourage you like, you know, any time you open that before it's meant to be open, they're tends to be shame, go insecurity, self-doubt, all this stuff, but within marriage, we found that to be a beautiful gift. And so it's definitely, definitely worth the wait and you'll see why it's intended for marriage

It's intended for two becoming one and God's design and that was beautiful. So how do you weigh? I think you just Desire that like desire God's plan and then one thing Christian I said all the time was we want your plan God another own We want to see your plan come to life in our relationship And part of that was waiting to have sex until we were married. So yes, it feels like a huge deal. And you're like, oh, I just wanna get married, I just wanna get married, but just wait friends.

I mean, do what you gotta do, have the conversations, talk about it, have friends in your life, mentors, who keep you accountable, and truly wait for that, because it really is worth it. And if you've already had sex before, you're not alone.

We had both had passed before we met each other that we're not totally pure. And then meeting each other, we decided we wanted to pursue purity together. And so we did. We still messed up at times in our relationship, but we were on the path of purity and we were so grateful that we did.

And so that's kind of like my advice. If you're, you know, younger, you have to wait for some reason, it's still worth the way. And I would say to that, you know, I mean, a lot of people get married young and I don't think that it's a bad thing to get married young. If you know that, you know that, you that you know that's your person and you know, you've taken the time to seek that from God, your parents, you know, agree,

your pastors are for you, you have people around you, like my siblings got married at 18 and 19 and they have great marriages, my parents got married at 18, 19, they have great marriages. I think ultimately what keeps them married strong is you're commitment to the Lord. And if you are in union with him,

but I don't know, Christian, what do you think? Yeah, well, it's gonna say, I think too, if you're feeling pressured in that area, I think that there are also external factors that can influence that, so to speak. So if you're scrolling on social media and you're not doing things like that are bad necessarily but externally but internally,

you're like there's less in your heart, there's these different things. And I feel like you can sometimes take that into a relationship and put this expectation on the other person to where it's like if you cut off these things that can make you, you know, lustful or can make you feel like you need to do something, then you can put that on the person that you're dating with.

So I think that there are things outside of the relationship that you can cut off, that you can limit, that you can try to decrease, that can influence that. So I know that if I like, you know, if we were dating and I followed people that, or I was scrolling through things that made me feel a certain way, I feel like I would have a tougher time being. It's like if you're watching pornography

on your private time and then your interlaceship trying to keep your boundaries, like it's not gonna work because what you're inside, like what you have been storing inside. I remember Christian, you had queer watching pornography for it good a bit before we started dating. And you were really pursuing the Lord. And I remember you like prayed a lot.

Like really prayed a lot. Because you were like, okay, obviously tempted because you were in love and you had a past of like watching things when you weren't gonna go back to that and you weren't gonna cross the boundary with me. So that led you to prayer. And I think a lot of people excuse themselves. During that time, I'm like, well, I'm not doing this.

So I'll watch this or not do this. But it's not just about sex. That's not what keeps you pure. Like, purity is like a heart posture, you know, and so to have a pure heart You got a pray because that's something from the Lord sure and I think one of my mentors even said to like if if you're dating Like all the enemy wants to do is get you to have sex and then you get married Then this he switches playing fields then it's like when you get married all he wants to do is get you to have sex. And then you get married, then he switches playing fields. Then it's like when you get married, all he wants to do is keep you from having sex.

Yeah. So it's like either way, you're always gonna walk through something that is counter to what you truly desire. So that's true. And why would the enemy want that? Because it's a powerful thing that God designed. Yeah.

Who could get great to create something? Yeah. Yeah. You know, the great great, the great intimacy. Yeah. So he's gonna, when you're dating, the playing field is, get you to fall into the temptation, then you get married and you're a covenant, and then the playing field switches to, like, keep you from having intimacy. So like,

he's very strategic, and there's, he's gonna put obstacles, he's gonna put things in place, but you have to, like, yeah, through prayer, through worship, through reading, through confession, through a community, you know, it's a fight, where it's a struggle, it's a thing that you go through, but like, you have to have, you have to persevere. And I think that the enemy is very, very crafty, and this is always going to be things that you have to combat.

And then on this note, they didn't ask this, but this is bonus, this is bonus. A question that I'm gonna ask, because whenever we started dating, you see us say this, whenever I was in other relationships, I would like to look through guys that I am dating like social media, and I would see their follow in girls that posted some inappropriate stuff,

in my opinion, it was too far. And I didn't want my boyfriend to be looking at other girls' body like that. So I would ask him to unfollow these people. So they would or whatnot. When I started dating you, that was not a problem because you were following a really small amount of people, but that hadn't always been your story. That hadn't always been in what your social media looked like. Do you think it's a fair thing for a girl

to ask a guy to unfollow girls that are not posting appropriate things? And for you as a guy, do you think y'all should take that on your responsibility to go ahead and clean that out? Like, do you think that's actually a real struggle for people if you're following girls in social media? And what do you think, like, you know,

the boundaries should be for yourself? Yeah, I do think so. I think first, there should maybe be, like a conversation about it, because one of the people that could be posting that could be somebody's cousin or something like that. And then it's like, you know, then it's an awkward thing of like,

you know, you unfollowed your cousin, then it's like, you know, whatever. But I do think that, you know, I do think that guys should take liberty of like, you know, what you're looking at, it's going to influence, you know, certain things in your life. And if you're following these accounts where people post, you know, inappropriate things, or skimpy things, or whatever, then that can influence, and that can put toxic thoughts into a relationship that you're trying to pursue with purity. So I do think that guys should take it upon themselves too.

To guard your heart. To guard your heart and to unfollow things that need to be unfollowing and yada yada yada. But I do think that a girl should have the right to like, yeah, I mean, maybe if it's in one month in a dating, that's different, but like if you're about to be getting engaged and talking about marriage, you know, if there are a bunch of people

that you follow that are, you know, that you don't really want him following. I do think that you can have a conversation, but I think maybe not being like unfollowed this person. Maybe like why do you follow this person? And then you have a conversation about it. How do you conversation? Like what's your, like why do you follow this person?

Or like what's your motive here? And then from that, you have a conversation and that can lead to unfollow or actually that's my cousin or something like that, I don't know, just a thought. Okay, what about movies? Because we're in a situation the other day where, okay, first of all, Christian is a movie guy.

He loves movies. So you watch a movie every night in high school. And college. And I am not a movie maybe person as much I'm very much like guard your heart guard your little guard your mind so I'm pretty picky with like what I watch that is not that was not something my parents put on me that was not something I was that's just something I personally like to do so Christian will be like hey I'm going to see this maybe I just enjoy I enjoy good cinema yeah and I'll be like hold on let me

check parents guy not trying to be his mom or anything, but I'm trying to help Gershengard his heart. But also, it's up to him to get his heart. So sometimes we have this thing of like, you know, I need to let him make decisions for himself, but then there are other times where I feel like I'm allowed to step in and say, okay, that's too far. You're not gonna go see that

because that literally has nudity and you don't need to go see another woman's body. But where do you personally form from a movie guy? Like your movie, I bet you love the Lord. How do you find that balance and like what you choose to watch? Well, here's a thing. That was just a rare case where that happened. I had seen the trailer and I was like, that looks like a good movie. I'm gonna ask you dad if he wants to go see it because he told me he wanted to see it. I hadn't looked at any of the perncilic at it. But I'm very, I mean, I'm very like cautious.

I'm very sensitive to spiritual things like that. Like, I'm not just, you know, I feel like this person that can watch this and not feel any conviction or any like inkling in my spirit of like, maybe I shouldn't be watching this. So I am very guarded and very careful with like what I watch, what I take in, because I do think that for me personally,

that can influence sinful things in my life. Exactly. And that's why it's important, you know, because to me I'm like, I'm not trying to be over here being like a goody-touchy, he's like, you need to watch this, you don't need to watch this, don't listen to bad music.

The only reason why I don't watch bad shows or I don't listen to bad music or whatever, like a goody-to-shoes, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no if I'm watching something that has bad language, I like get more, you know, tempted to let some words fly. If I'm watching something that has a lot of violence, I get super fearful and that triggers anxiety if I'm watching something that's less fuller, whatever. That creates less. And so if I don't want it in my mind, I don't put it in my mind.

It's not like I'm like, oh, I'm trying to be a rule follower. There's no rules. It's just, that's what it looks like for me to guard my heart because I don't want the effect. So what sin does when it takes root. Yeah, but I will say there's, there has been a moment where I'm like, you know, I'm gonna like try to like sneak this one by you.

You know? Like it was like, you would never get back. No, it was like an, it was like an open, like I want to see this movie. Oh yeah. Because I saw the trailer, then you were like, actually this has this movie Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Exactly. But yeah, they would, I wouldn't, like, because I think that gets to the point of like, if you're in a relationship and like, you're trying to like be sneaky or be like, you know, I'm going to see this movie

and then you go see this movie to like, like conceal something that I think, that's when that gets dangerous and messy and all those things. Just so true. Get answered. I do enjoy good cinema. That's right. Once they don't have nudity.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha. All right, let's see. What do you do when your people, end quotes, are toxic people? How do we know when it's time to walk away from a friendship or when it's time to push through the heart and fight for the relationship?

That's a great question. I've been in situations like this where, like I mentioned, there are some, like you're gonna argue with everyone. There are arguments not bad. So yeah, like there are some relationships that you're gonna argue with. You're gonna have hard things with, but they're worth the fight.

Like they're worth the relationship because you love them because they draw you closer to Jesus because you draw them closer. Whatever it is. But there has been relationships in my past where, you know, it was a toxic relationship and it was one that I knew I need to walk away from.

And really that, that I typically know when it's time is when I look at myself and I'm a really unhealthy version of myself or friends around me are saying, hey, that's not a good relationship. Or whenever I see you with them, I see you way more insecure, I see you hurt, I see you broken, I see all these things. And so, yeah, I think you way more insecure. I see you hurt, I see you broken, I see all these things.

And so yeah, I think you really had to listen to the spirit on that one. I think you have to listen to your friends, listen to people around you, ask advice like, hey, do you think this is a healthy relationship or not to friends around you, not to that person? Because of course they're not gonna be able to give you a wise answer.

But yeah, I mean, I think it's a heart-check moment. And like I said, I've had best friends of mine who we've had some really tough conversations. And yet, we're still super close friends. And it's fine. All is forgiving in the past, both of us have messed up, whatever it is. But then I've had other relationships where it just was toxic. And I think, I think that word toxic is the difference. Even in the hardest of my relationships with Christian or best friends of mine, I would never call it toxic, you know? I would say hard, or this is a bad situation, but I never say it's toxic.

When a relationship is toxic, which means like all of it is bad, it is spoiled, it is rotten, like that's probably the time that you should start to step away. Yeah, you just took the words out of my mouth. Well, it's gonna take, because it's in the question, you know, toxic.

There's a difference between walking through something that's difficult and having arguments versus something that's toxic. And I think that even the word toxic, like if something is bad and you're trying to convince yourself that it's not bad, that's when it's toxic. Yeah. Yeah.

So if somebody's not being encouraging or uplifting, it's if it's constantly slander or envy or jealousy or you know, all these things, and it's just degrading and it's just not healthy, then that's when you know it's toxic. Because if you're trying to convince yourself, oh, it's not that bad, then it's probably, it's probably bad.

So. Yep. I agree. All right. This is a great question. Do you have any thoughts on people claiming that the Bible is outdated? Here's some things that people have said.

One person says that they had a discussion with a friend and they both agree that the Bible supports the idea that men should pursue women. And her friend said she believes things have changed and the Bible is all outdated. Another person have also been taught to do and believe with the word of God says and that it's time is applicable to all generations to come. Does the Bible or is it a strict

that? Well, we won't even go to that yet. I won't even go to that next question. Basically, do we believe that the Bible is outdated? I do not personally believe that the Bible is outdated. I feel like the Bible is so like. It's actually crazy. This is one of my favorite parts about the Bible, is that it was thousands and thousands of years ago that it was written, I mean, 2000 years ago, since Jesus, but thousands of years ago, since the big, I mean, since really the beginning,

I ate her ham and all of them. And yet, it's still so applicable. So what we go through today, like all of the things are true. Like if you, if you've lived by the principles of Jesus, you would be an amazing, amazing person back to a Jordan B. Peterson, another quote that he said. As he said, you know, I, but I live as though

I believe the Bible is true, because he's like, that's a great way to live. I mean, some of the commands Jesus, like love Lord God without your heart, so your mind, and then love your neighbor as yourself. I love people. Now, the golden rule where it says how we should treat people, doing others as you want them to do it to you.

That's a great rule we still apply by. I mean, the Ten Commandments or in our courthouse, like there's so much in the Bible that we still live out and that's still true. I think Jesus in the relationship he had with his people, you can learn so much from them. I preach so much on messages from like Peter or Paul or even in the Old Testament like Adam and Eve

and all these things and yet like still to this day, people will cry being like so shocked about how much they relate to these stories and how relatable the love of God is. So I love that the Bible is so timely and it's timeless. The word of God, God, and of Himself, He is the often the Omega, He's the beginning of the end, He's yes and amen, He is all these things and His word is to. And so yeah, I mean the word is the word and it will be the word forever.

And that is a really amazing thing because we live in a world where everything changes and the word God says the same. And it's one of the most popular, well-known things that has ever, I think probably the most popular, well-known story of all time is the message of Jesus. And I think this because it doesn't change. Yeah, I definitely, yeah. I definitely don't think the Bible is outdated and I've heard a lot of arguments for why the people think it's outdated but I've never heard because of a man pursuing

a woman. Yeah, that's an interesting one. Not to like, throw shade or anything but I'm like out of all the things in the Bible like. Well there's definitely things in the Bible that as far as like, yeah, there are things in the Bible that are specific to that culture and time Yeah, but as far as like the the word and the story and the message and the commandments like none of that No, I don't think believe but I don't think in the Bible it ever says that a woman shouldn't pursue a man

I think that like obviously yes a man I believe should pursue a woman But that does not mean that a woman can't pursue a man because I would argue that by and large and highly percentage of a woman that doesn't pursuing a man would not mind if they were ever pursued by a man. You know, I always say, I think that man should pursue women I really do.

And I think that even the story of the Bible, it does talk about that, like the, I don't think it's bad, And I think that even the story of the Bible, it does talk about that a lot. I don't think it's bad, but I think that traditionally. And also just with the way that women feel loved and that men feel, want to feel respected and all that, I think the leadership aspect is awesome. So you do see a lot of that, even how it says like, we are the bride of Christ. Like God is like, you know, pursuing us. He's going to come back for us to get us.

But I will say this, I think the man should pursue a woman, but I do think that a woman should make a man confident to pursue them and what I mean by that is, I don't think it's all up to the man. I think the woman has a lot to play in the confidence of a man being able to pursue them. I don't like when a woman's like, oh, well, they haven't done that.

It's like, well, help them. Like, you know, like, like, text them back. If you don't text them back, then that's not their fault for how they pursued you. Well, there is a difference between like pursuing and like taking initiative. Like, I don't think a woman can say, hey, would you want to go get coffee?

But there's a difference between like just taking initiative and a relationship and like pursuing, like making the dates, driving the drive. Like the woman in the driver's seat in the whole relationship kind of falls on them. I think that's a different thing. Yeah. Then just taking a show. I agree.

Yeah, because like you said, by and large, men want to be respected. And if the woman is the one that's calling all the shots, making all the plans, like I feel like in the long term, that can maybe be not beneficial. It's so true. I do think there's a difference between a woman pursuing and a woman taking an issue. I think a woman can definitely take an issue. So true. And I think too, as far as the Bible, if you went and you read the Old Testament right now, you'd be like, well there's a lot of things that are outdated. Well, yes, but the New Testament is there for a reason that Jesus came and like, he, it's a new law, like it's a new,

it's like we are saved by grace, you know? So we don't have to do all those things that used to in the Old Testament that said, they had to do because Jesus has come and now our relationship with God is not as complicated as back in the Old Testament. So don't pick up your Bible and say, well, so did he?

Have you read the video, because it's pretty outdated? No, no, no, no, have you read Leviticus? It's pretty outdated. No, no, no, no, I'm talking about like the message of the gospel and Jesus. New Testament included. Okay, so speaking on New Testament last question, of course we get the question, we get asked all the time, can you talk about your beliefs on women's roles in the church?

Something I've been struggling with in the scripture as far as offices that can be held, etc. Okay, so women in the church, women speaking in the church, all around women in the church. Listen, go read the news estimate. You will be shocked friends. How much Jesus was for women, love women, encourage women, worked worked with women literally preach alongside a woman Not that women were preaching but Mary Magdalene was a huge part of his ministry The very first person that he really set there and claimed to be the Messiah to was the woman at the well This married woman and then what did he tell her go and tell your story?

So then the woman went and told her story, her testimony, which is preaching. And then it says that that whole town came to know Jesus. So the first preacher was really a woman, you know, from launched out of Jesus' personal time with him, you understand he's Messiah, the first person to go out and tell it was a woman.

And so we have so many women even in Paul There's a moment in Paul and Philippians Four I think four two and Paul is correcting two women who are alongside of him in his ministry And he's saying hey women get it together stop arguing. We got a we got a gospel to preach Therefore insinuating that there are two women who are part of this ministry So there's a lot of women in the world. I mean, the first two people who saw Jesus tomb road away who ran and told everybody, women, you know,

Mary, and they went and told everyone that, hey, like he's risen, he's not here in Medes of the Sea of Galley. So Jesus was like not prejudiced towards women at all. I think, okay, so where that comes from, his or his moment where Paul is writing to a church, a literature church, and he says, tell the women to be silent in the church. So what I have learned from going to Israel

and understanding the biblical context of that is back in the day, the way that the churches were set up is all the men set in the front and all the women set in the back of the church. So there would be somebody talking and the women would be in the back. Well, the women would be crying out like to hear the person. They were very loud, they were very vocal, they were wanting to hear what the person was saying. And it was just distracting.

Like the women were simply distracting people because of where they were sitting and how they were crying out. And it was distracting on the men. So Paul said, hey, tell the women to be silent in the church. So it wasn't that he was saying, women don't need a distracting on the men. So Paul said, hey, tell the women to be silent in the church. So it wasn't that he was saying, women don't need to preach to the church, women cannot be a part of the church. It was just that, hey, stop being a distraction

because a lot of the letters, not that they are timing out, but they were specific to the churches that he was writing the letter to, Paul. So in the New Testament, like Corinthians, Paul was writing a letter to the church's Corinth, like Ephesians, same thing, like all these different ones. He's writing a letter to Ephesus, isn't it? And so it's like, yes, there are specific things to the churches that he was at. Now also, we are taught, just like the whole man leading thing, is that, yeah, like men are supposed to be the leader. We are supposed to be in submission to men.

Just like God made Adam and then like created a suitable helper. So do I think women should be the only leader in the church? No, I think men should lead in the church as well. And I think men should be leading a church. I think women should come right alongside and help that and whatever gift that they have to help. Now if that looks like in the nursery, that's great.

If that looks like, you know, passing out coffee, that's great. If it looks like leading worship, that's great. And if it looks like teaching, if that's their gift, that's great. For me, I have like been given a gift of communication and I'm a strong Christian. And so I put the two into together and I use my communication

to honor Christ. I don't see how any way sugar formed I could be a bad thing, you know. I don't feel convicted, I don't feel like I shouldn't be doing it, I feel like I'm doing what God's called me to do. And so that's where I stand on it. Obviously people are going to have opinion, but I would like to encourage your friends if you're going to have an opinion, first do the research and first really study the word before you go and just take a verse and use it out of context. Yeah, I don't have too much to say about it. I think you did a really good job. All I'll say is that I think it's a secondary issue, and if you spend all your time

spinning your wheels about should a woman be speaking, should a woman be in office, then I would just argue that you have bigger things to worry about. I mean, seriously, I think you're being an effective, if that's consuming you, like, it's kind of trivial. I mean, what a great strategy for the devil to use Yeah, then to let the church argue about the things in the church and not just focus on the main thing Now there are things that we need to correct obviously Paul's right and letters so all the church to say and this what you need to do But this is what we do better so there's room for correction. There's room for learning Absolutely, but when you read the life of Jesus and how he empowered women and how he like

Courage women to go and to tell and do all this. It's like Then why are we who are we to judge like if a woman's preaching it in their right on the word see I can be out there. I'm preaching the gospel like Jesus came he died He rose again to citizenship and stopped living your sinful life, turned for your sins, repent, be baptized in the Christ, like the gospel as a whole. And it could be like the best, most accurate, biblical teaching you've heard.

And someone could still sit there and say, eh, women shouldn't preach in the church. Just a second, if that fire, somebody else, that's it. Then you need to go check yourself. Check your heart, yeah. I think give a bigger issue. Man, the DMs got us fired up today.

This is why you should read your DMs and why you should. I guess we so fired up. Somebody to read your DMs for you. Well friends, thank y'all for asking hard questions. You know, honestly, like I said at the beginning, you can't shy away from these questions. These are real questions. These are, there's no shame for anyone asking that question about women speaking to church.

Understand it is a confusing thing. There's no shame for people asking the hard questions about sex before marriage and all of that. These things need to be talked about. And I don't like sometimes how the church shies away from the hard conversations. Like, I think we need to be right in the mix of them because we have a book of truth, right?

We have a book of direction. And so therefore, we should not be ashamed or afraid to ask questions when we have a book of direction and truth. It literally in the word, it says that God will make our path sure that he's a lampeter, a light, and to our path. That's what the Word of God does for us. And so we need to be able to use that to, you know, bring truth to our lives. And so, Christian, thank you for being on my podcast

yet again. Thank you for asking me to be on the show. Now, I'm reminded as to why I ask you back, even though you annoy me with the microphone before we start. Yeah, it's going to say yeah, all your noises are pre-started. So I know. I can be better. And I can get listening. start so I know I can be better and I can get listen love you love you guys thanks for listening in and keep DMing us so we can have a great podcast next time I have Christian on but don't you