WHOA That's Good Podcast - Our Biggest Challenges in Our 20s (So Far) | Sadie Robertson Huff

Episode Date: December 11, 2023

Sadie and her Bible study group invite you in to hear them talk about the biggest challenges of their 20s that they've experienced so far. And with Sadie and Christian's 90-Day Challenge coming up in the new year, what better way to prep? Sadie, Elyse, Bella, Grace, Lydia, and Freddie all candidly share where they've struggled most: discernment, devastating tragedies and choosing to believe God is good through it all, healing from past sins and patterns, and walking through difficult times as a friend and as someone who needs support. We also share encouragement to keep going through the tough times. When you look back, you will see how God's faithfulness and love has never wavered.  Pick up a copy of “Live,” “Live Fearless,” or “Live on Purpose” today, wherever books are sold! https://www.drinklmnt.com/whoa — Get 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order! https://www.auraframes.com/whoa — Get $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames when you use code WHOA at checkout! https://drinkag1.com/whoa — Get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 & 5 FREE AG1 travel packs with your first purchase! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yo, I love a good meaningful gifts. Gifts can be, you know, a variety of things, but one that has meaning behind it is just so special. And my mom started this tradition a couple years ago where she gives all of us one of her favorite books she read that year. And it means so much because you know my mom learned from this and now we get to.

This holiday season, if you're looking for the perfect gift for your mom, sister, friend, or anyone who might be seeking the truth of God's word, I have three books out where I share my personal journey to get closer to Jesus and they make the perfect gift. I have live on purpose, which includes 100 devotions that look past the promise of temporary highs and illusions and give practical tools to overcoming fear and anxiety. Fear and anxiety are felt by so many people these days, but live on purpose talks about how I learn to celebrate every moment even when it's hard and follow my passions to find my purpose.

Live Fearless is another book that I would highly recommend if you are going through any kind of fear or anxiety which is so prevalent in so many people's lives. This is my journey through fear and I hope it encourages you as well as packed with scripture and I believe that it will truly help you along your journey. I've had so many people tell me what that book's meant to them and also have live. If you're just struggling to see the beauty of life and celebrating it, then live is the perfect book for you. So I hope these three books might even be a gift to yourself this year if you know that you need that or it's something that you can give someone that you know is struggling. These are books that I've specifically even handed out to people that I know are

struggling just to even share my story with them and it's been really powerful to see the way that we've been to connect with each other. So, y'all go check out these books. I hope that it gives you a bigger perspective of who God is, and that you fall more in love with Him as you read these books. You can find live, live fearless, and live on purpose wherever books are sold. All on my... What says sisters and friends, happy Monday everybody. If you're watching on YouTube, then you can see this is a little different. We are legitimately on the couch, like my own personal couch at the house. We thought this would be so fun just to really invite you all in. And this is actually my Bible study group

and my best girlfriends on the podcast today. The only difference in what we're doing right now and what we always do is that we have microphones. So, well, we actually decided we should start incorporating those into more of our hangouts because it's kind of hilarious. So, we're gonna be talking today about just challenges that we faced. Now Now let me just tell you before we get here. These are my best friends. So already in the past five minutes things have gone chaotic and just our conversation. Just for a little backstory, we call ourselves Mary J. Blige. That's our group text name. And like every group text, it starts with kind

of a slightly inappropriate story. And Bella, you want to share how we got the name Mary J. Blis? You're the one that just found the videos, right? I think you're the one that still is. You like, you tell us what's going on and took doggy off. I think that that was Grace who found those videos. You can't remember the videos. You're the one who found all those videos. You can't remember the videos? I can't remember why we named it. You're the one who found all the videos. I know.

Remember, it was the Mary J. Bosch, dead at 64 videos? I know, yeah. Okay, so Grace is the person in our friend group that literally sends 100 reels to everyone every day. You're welcome. You're welcome. Yes. So your night later attainment is brought to you by Grace Cabo.

You got to get down. You got to. You are not one of the girls. You're not. Wait, is Cabo a girl? She is like, are you serious? I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, what are you doing?

Yes. We did name our girl, dog Cabo. Okay. It was based off of her honeymoon dog Cabo, okay. It was based off her honeymoon. I mean, that offensively. I just, whenever she said she's not one of the girls, I was like, wait, I thought she was. So then I was confused.

She is one of the girls, but she's not a Mary J. Blash girl. She did not be on this fight yet. Like she is inserting herself. Absolutely. Okay, Mary J. Blash, let's get back on topic. Started because of the TikTok trend, like where you go to your parents or, which camera am I looking at?

I have to look at the camera. You were talking to us. You were talking to us. You girls said that. I used to be a vinyar before. She said, hold on. We should be here. We should be here.

We should be here. We should be here. We should be here. We should so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. like your parents' favorite actress singer, whoever, and you're like, oh my gosh, and you pretend like you're reading this headline. Like Mary J. Blige, dead at 64. And then you like film the reactions, really funny.

And we did it to your dad with, who was it, Lester Holt or something? Let down. Because we were like, oh, let's get dead. And so dad watches Dateline every single night. And we were like, oh, we'll tell him Lester Holt died. And he is pretty old. And so I think he was like, how old was he?

Like, I don't know, who's pretty old? And it was just so funny that so we go to dad. We're like, oh my gosh, Lester Holt, dead at 80, whatever we said. And dad was like, who's Lester Holt? I was like, are you kidding me? You literally watch Dateline every night so that the joke just tanks.

But the video is where hilarious. But the videos were hilarious. It was funny. Well then we had to like, you were like, wait, you know, that's the Daylight guy. And then he was like, oh, that's so sad. And we were like, yeah. And it was so funny. And I was like, he didn't die.

It's a TikTok trend. So anyways, that's how it started. And then I guess that became the name because of that. Every single video. Every single video was Mary J. Blige. Like every parent, that was who they loved was Mary J. Blige. And so it was just funny, like these massive reactions. And there was that one, she was like, no, not Mary.

Like she had been friends with them forever. And we just realized in that moment how love Mary J. Blige was and we all aspired to be that loved, that if we were to be announced, that people would have that big of reactions about this news. But also it kind of came because the guys, all of our husbands had a group text,

and their name is also slightly inappropriate from their own funny inside jokes. And we were like, we were like, okay, well that's just not cool. If the guys are closer friends to this that they have a group text name, then we are gonna show them. So that's kinda how that started,

but we've all been friends for a long time. We all kind of like started our friendship off of Sermon Squad, which is our other group, so we're with our husbands, where we watch Sermons together because we all just kind of went to grow deeper together and the where we, a lot of us go to same church,

some of us go to different churches, but when you go to church on Sunday, you're sitting, you're receiving a message, you're worshiping, but we didn't have, we don't have like Bible class at our church or we don't have small group at our church. And so we wanted to create our own small group

so that we could just go deeper in conversation and really study the word together, which a lot of times we do what sermons and we do have great talks like that, but also a lot of times we just hang out, which just the fellowship and then of itself is so good for all of us. So I mentioned we're going to talk about

some of our biggest challenges we faced in our 20s. I can kind of kickstart us. I kind of had two that came to mind for me. One, on the topic of community was actually finding community. For me, whenever I moved to Nashville, it came so naturally to find friends because my friends just were actually doing what I was

doing. They were on the winter jam tour, which was such a unique time of my life where I was on a tour bus for four months. So it was Laney, and that's why I met her. That's the world that Steph was in. The same time I met CORE, Sarah and Gracie lived right beside us. It was just proximity a lot of it, was just easy to make friends.

We were all single and I didn't really realize what a gift. I mean, I knew it was such a gift. I didn't realize how big of a gift that was until later whenever I moved back home. And I think people probably had this expectation. I think I even had this expectation like, oh, moving back home will be easy because it's like, when my family lives,

I'll live here my whole life. But, you know, many of y'all plan it. It's like you go back home and it's not what you remember it to be because everything's changed, because your life changed and so has everybody else's life. And so I really didn't have, Christian and I were now married. Of course, we're best friends, but we both desired to have friendships.

He came from having an amazing guy, community, and Auburn. I came from having an amazing girl, community, and Nashville. And then we moved here and we were like, oh my gosh, this is way harder. Plus it was the middle of COVID. So like no one's getting out anyways. Church is like hard leave and happening. We get here and where it's COVID, everything shut down anyways. And we just didn't have our people.

And I remember it was going on about a year where we had tried to form friendships with different people. Like I would host Bible studies and like try to like gather people and whatnot. And it just felt like we were trying but no one else was trying to be friends with us too. Until you and Luke and it was like the biggest blessing because y'all were the first people that invited us over that we went since living here. And I remember Christian had really been forming a friendship with Luke. They were like working out every Saturday morning, which that was not really our style. And so we went to Waffle House. I did appreciate that. I was

like, this is a real win while our husband's where she wants to go to Waffle House. I knew we were going to be friends. So that was really the start of it. And then it was just beautiful. All of this said in, all of y'all, we're here. And we all were kind of in a similar seasons of life and going after the same thing and talk about proximity. Now we actually do all live super close to each other which is such a gift. But I just remember, like right before us becoming good friends,

I had said to my mom, I was like, this is really hard. Like I just feel like we're never gonna make friends and I'm just kind of coming to the terms of like, I guess that's just how it's going to be. I guess that's just, you know, when you get older, that's just how it is and whatnot. She was just kind of encouraging me like, yeah, like time's changed, she's in exchange and that is part of it and growing up, you're just not going to have as many friends. And I just remember being sad about that and feeling like, okay, I guess that's just, you know, and she was encouraging, but she was just kind of acknowledging that it is a new season, which is true.

So I was like so surprised when all of a sudden I looked up and I had amazing people in my life. And God really did bring that community. So I think that really was one of the big challenges in the 20s. Is that shift from going to proximity and I didn't go to college, but I think it's the same way for people who go to college. Like you live with your college roommates, your friends and everybody, you have all these functions to go, you have all these things.

It's just the proximity of doing life so close with friends, then all of a sudden, everyone disperses. And you're in a totally different season than everyone else. And everyone's doing this and that, and their own thing. And then you look at other people, and it's like the first time in your life where you're the same age as someone, but in a completely different season than them.

Because up to this point, you're in the same grade as everyone. And then all of a sudden, you're just like, you're married with kids and you have a job and you live over there and you're in the city and you're in the country and like everything changes. So I feel like that is true for everyone.

Everyone does kind of experience that wake up call. But I think one thing I was pleasantly surprised in is that God really does care about those desires in your heart. And he did build us to be in community with people. And man, you see that all throughout scripture even in Acts, how the church was so such a community like they shared everything they had they met in each other's homes they pray with each other and that was really what I was desiring you know I didn't need like the college bestie that spent the night every night but I wanted that kind of community and I feel like God saw that prayer honored that and I think a lot of

y'all were praying the same thing and God answers a lot of times I think people spurs through each other which is really cool. So that was one of the challenges I'll go to my next challenge later but anyone else want to speak about their challenge in their 20s? Yo I'm not gonna lie to you. The holidays have snuck up on me this year. I mean, whoa, can't believe we're here. It's so crazy. I think just like having two kids and working and all the things. I'm like, what is today? This is crazy. I'm so excited about it, but it can definitely be a little hectic and y'all I'm already feeling a little tired. So with all of that going on, also the time that most people get sick, I am like dedicated to trying to stay healthy and it's trying to stay strong and keeping the energy up. And so

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No questions asked. You really have nothing to lose. Check it out. Go get Element today. L-M-MNT. Everyone looks happy. Actually, really similar to yours, so I'll just kind of pay you back off of that, but similar and different. So I had a very like non-traditional college experience. I went to a

community college initially, lived at home, was working, like trying to save money, and just not traditional. The community college I went to, even a lot of the other students there were like, in their 30s, 40s going back to school, like not even really college age kids. So that's how I started out my college experience, and I had a few like close friends from high school

that kind of followed over with me, and we're still my close friends through college, but then you know, other than those few wasn't didn't really have very many friends. And then following that I went to nursing school. My nursing school was like extremely hard. So I was just like so focused on studying and like just trying to pass school that I wasn't really worried about or focused, didn't have time to focus on making friends. I made a few friends in nursing school that we were like just bonded from all the heart experiences that we went through together. But so I had like no friends in college, which is kind of opposite of like, I feel like most people have like such good friends in, and whether it be your roommate or just the community you build. But I had the opposite, and then moved here after college. And the same thing, like I was praying so hard for community, and just

like people that wanted to live a godly lifestyle, honestly, which is hard to find in college in general. At least it was, I felt like at the school I went to was pretty secular. And so just like finding life-minded people that wanted to live a godly life was hard. But I wanted that. I wanted the same thing. I wanted to be able to pray with people.

I wanted to have that community so badly desired that. And Bryant, too, we both did. And then really when we moved here is when the Lord answered that prayer. And a big part of that was like you and Reeves. And you weren't even in the picture yet, but Reeves was like, just move here. It's great.

I promise you, well, all be friends, it'll be the best they ever. And it really has been. But he just encouraged us like to kind of take a leap of faith and we did and the Lord honored that and I don't know, it's just really sweet to look back on and see like you said that the Lord does like care about the little desires of your heart and that's a pretty big, I mean, to me it felt very big at the time to have

that community and now I do and I don't feel like I ever take a second of it for granted because of the season where I didn't have it, and I actually feel like probably a much better friend now than I would have been then because I had never been without it. So now that I have gone without it, I cherish it a lot more, and I don't know,

maybe I'm just even more responsible of a friend to reach out and be intentional than I would have been before. That's good. I think one thing that is true about friendships that you maybe didn't have to face when you're younger is like, when you're younger because you're in school, I mean, I'm talking like elementary, middle school, high school friends, it's like you don't, like to create a friend, it's not that hard because you're all in the same place and you have recess time or you have intentional time

to hang out with friends. And you kind of just look around and you're like, you're cool, let's hang out. But when you're older, creating friendships actually does take a lot of faith and risk and commitment and intentionality. You have to go outside of your way to find that. And so I do think that is a good point to make that friendships don't just always happen

super naturally when you're older. They really ever do, you know, and takes intentionality and it takes commitment because I think with all of us, I remember there was a time where we all kind of talked about this where it was like for so long when you think of your friends, you're still thinking of your friends from your past season. And all of a sudden it was like, oh, y'all are my best friends. Like, we do life together. This is so sweet. And there is like a shift, but it took time.

The first couple of times we hung out, it was like the, you know, small talk, getting to know each other. You know, we're like, let's do a dance video, like doing things we know we like connect on. And then all of a sudden, you're like, you really have created so many core memories and you become friends and it becomes natural. And so it's just not as natural as it was when you were younger, but it's so much more rich.

And it's like true friendship. So it has a good point to make. It's not uncommon for friendships, and creating friendships to be a little bit of a challenge when you're older. All right, who's next in the challenge zone? I feel like I'm getting looked at, so I'll go. You got it, Freddie. Well, mine's going to be like a total 180 shift from community, but I think more than like something that naturally happens in your 20s, mine was like a trial that just so happened to happen in my 20s.

And it was with my brother, which I mean, all of y'all know. But what was really hard about maybe going through that here was like, y'all weren't there with me when it happened. So when I came here and I remember it was like the first sermon squad and I was like, yeah, pray for my brother and like, say to you Christian, I'd known about it. But I think like y'all were like, what happened to your brother? And it was just like, oh, these people don't know my life to the degree of like what I've been through the past year. And that was hard in itself like having to re-explain and go back and stuff. But

when I think about, okay, what am I going to reflect on in my 20s, it's going to be his accident. And like when he, we got that phone call and I was even telling someone this week of just like reliving that story. And now I'm okay with it. But I think for the longest time it was so hard to talk about like no matter how I talked about it, but I think for the longest time it was so hard to talk about. No matter how I talked about it, it brought me to tears of just thinking about the phone call of, we don't know if he's dead or alive and then the phone call of he's paralyzed and we're going to the hospital right now and I'm literally 15 hours away, can't do anything, have my closest friends at the time like sleeping over at my house and just

like crying through the night and like those memories will never leave me. You know, even like now he's still paralyzed and we're still walking through that and that will forever be our life of like that happened to us. And of course, like it happened to him, but it also happened to us and having to walk through that of like, I'm not paralyzed, but my brother is. And how do I understand that? But the challenge in it was my faith, like really wrestling with my faith in that, because I kind of remember really believing like, no no, God's gonna heal my brother. I know without a shadow of a doubt,

like, he's gonna walk again. There was this moment, it happened on a Saturday night and the next morning at church and our pastor literally said, like, if your paralyzed God wants to make you walk again and I went up to him afterwards and I was like, you don't know this, but like, my brother literally got paralyzed last night and you just said that. And his eyes got so big and he was like, you don't know this, but like my brother literally got paralyzed last night and you just said that. And his eyes got so big and he was like,

I did not plan to say that like that. So it was just like, I thought I had these confirmation moments of like, God's gonna heal my brother. We saw progress. He was like, I'm just grateful to be alive. Like I know the Lord is giving you a second chance. Like there was so much hope and positivity at the beginning, but then like month three hit, month six hit,

a year hit, a year and a half, and it was like nothing. And that's where the challenge for me came in to go, okay, God, you didn't heal my brother. Like I really thought you would. Like I thought you were speaking to me. I thought you were giving me signs. You're still good though. And that, like even I still wrestle with that.

I think about that all the time still. And it's like that's what's deepening in me, even like two years later, is God's still good. God is still in control. And even though that was so painful, and I can't say, yes, it was God's plan, it was God's plan. I can't argue that with God anymore, because it doesn't do good for me.

I just have to go, okay, it happened, and God is still good. And he's still faithful, and even though it's changed our lives, it can still be a marker of finding God, but for so long I did it. And that's kind of what the challenge was, is like I really doubted God. And it wasn't actually until moving here, where I realized how much I doubted God

for the last year and a half. There was like another thing that happened and Parker went out of town and I like spent the night at Sadie and Christians because it had literally happened the day before and it was like very, very personal and I was so distraught. I was like, what was happening in my life

and I was just like, you know, God, you've allowed so much bad to happen in my life. Why are you gonna allow one more thing? And I literally, I've talked about this kind of in the thing that we're coming out with, the 90 day challenge a little bit, I alluded to it, but I remember like being at home one morning and just like, not tears, like screaming,

wailing, like I had never done before, I'm just like, why are you letting this happen? And that was so hard for me to get my heart to a place to be that honest with God of like, I really, honestly, I don't like you right now because you're letting so much happen to me. But it was like being that honest allowed my heart to be so soft.

And for God to go, he's I was reading through Joel and he spoke over me in that moment like in your wailing, in your morning, even now if you return to me, maybe when you turn and you look, you'll see something good. And I have seen something good from that. But I think I had to really recognize, like, it's okay to be upset with God, because when you're really honest, he really does soften your heart to what he can turn into good. [♪ music playing in background,

playing in background, many of you have probably heard a talk about that Christian's family does not live or we live. They live in Florida, which can be hard sometimes, just being far away, but we are the king and queen of FaceTime. Weillary FaceTime, every single day, and just get to connect with his family. It's so great for the girls and for us too. And the holidays, that's what it's all about.

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with us or whenever we were all together and you read that in Joel and you were like, listen to this verse, this is so cool. And I don't know that you'd ever read it before or noted it and I hadn't either. And I was thinking about an R life that year because we had been through some just really hard things which created out in our hearts,

like I had never faced before, and it challenged me to get that honest with God. And yeah, it took my faith to a whole nother level. And I think that like, you know, for some people listening, maybe, you know, you've had a traumatic situation happen when you were younger, and that caused you to have to really go through that in your faith. But a lot of people, it does kind of hit in their 20s because it's like the first time

you're not under your parents' roof and like your faith isn't just like your family says, your experiencing things, personally, that are happening to you that you have to find how you personally find relationship with God in and through those things. And so it's like your faith either deepened significantly or you lose your faith. A lot of people lose your faith in their 20s. A lot of people anchor their faith in their 20s. And so I think it is a time to like do the hard work

and ask the hard questions, talk through it with your friends, like the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I think even you just sharing that hope is just like speaking to people listening that, even if you're walking through something really hard and you feel like the people in your life don't understand, try to bring them into it because although we didn't understand, we learned.

And in the best way we could, we're there. There's so many ways, you know, even when you tell them, like, I wish I could have been there more, I wish I would have understood more. You're never gonna understand fully what the other person is walking through, but trying to bring them in, I think goes a really long way. Sure. And I think to that point of like, y'all not being there when it happened, I had to be

really vulnerable again. And that was hard for me, but it was like, okay, no, these are my people now, so they need to be let in. And so that was like an internal challenge of it's time to let them in, even though they weren't there in the moment, like they can be there from here on out. That's good. That's so good. Bella, are you gonna go? Yeah, which I'll say like mine kind of like piggybacks off of that.

But like, I feel like my biggest challenge, and I won't go into too much detail, but just like learning how to walk through challenges with friends has been so hard, just figuring out when to be honest, how to be honest, how to talk through things, and not even just with my own self, but other friends going through situations where my closest friends are really hard. Thing this summer, and learning how to be a good friend when like it's really like there's no words you can say there's nothing you can do to like be the best friend but it's just hard. So like that would be mine. That's good. That is so true. It's like you're going through such real heartbreak. Some of some people for the first time and it's navigating how to be there.

And I will say one of my biggest regrets in I think this is yeah, this is before I was 20 was in high school. One of my best friends went through something extremely traumatic. And I did not know how to be there for her. And because I was insecure about how to be there from for her, I more so shied away from it, and it really deeply hurt her that I did not lean in with her,

because she had to go through it, you know? And I did not go there like I should have with her because it intimidated me. It scared me. I didn't know how. I was awkward. I was insecure. And I regret that so, so much. And really thought,

I would never have a moment to like redeem that. It's just kind of been a regret because it really hurt our friendship a lot. Well, then more so recently, there's been another thing that happened in this friend's life. And I've tried so hard to just lean in with her. And again, it's like same insecurity if I don't know what to say. Same, you know, uncomfortability of like, what if I say the wrong thing? But what I've realized is, you know, really truly just being there is the biggest thing.

Like showing up, leaning in, trying to listen, trying to understand, just making yourself available in every way possible. And so I've been thinking this time, it's like she has to go through this again. I'm going to like put myself in it with her as much as that possibly can. And so, you know, that's such a good, that's such a good point, Bella. Like that is really hard whenever you're older to be like, I don't know what to say, like the, the awkwardness inside of you doesn't really go away. But like the maturity should rise up and go,

even though I feel uncomfortable, I'll lean in. You know? I had a friend ask me one time in the midst of my hardship. She said, how can I be a good friend to you right now? And that like made me cry automatically because I was like, oh, I, one, I just needed you to say that. But two, it gave me the freedom to be like, I just need you to pray for me. I just need you to say that, but two, it gave me the freedom to be like, I just need you to pray for me,

or I just need you to listen as I cry, like whatever. And so I think that's a good question too. Like, how can you be a good friend to that person? Just ask them what they need. That's good. That's so good. Like, to get at least the sisters. This is kind of funny. I just have to say this because right before Liddy,

he was like, I don't know what my biggest challenge was and at least it was like, I'll remind you. Because I thought you go through it, girl. I went to the beauty of sisterhood. Yeah. I can go, I guess. Um, yeah, that is true. Elise was the one who just saw me at the worst. Um, yeah, and I think mine is kind of also just totally different than everything everyone

has just said. But I do relate to everything everyone said because I think that those are, we all have like similar challenges in different ways. But yeah, what at least remind me of me, which I haven't forgotten. But I think it is true though that my biggest challenge has been in my 20s going from, I mean, going from death to life, which that sounds like, you know, it's because like going from one person to a completely different person

and then learning to like walk in that and like the newness of it. And I think so because I gave my life to the Lord when I was 19, you know, and then a few months later I turned 20. And so it's like, here I am, I'm surrendered, and so I'm starting a new decade, like a new life. Like I'm just, I'm starting a new life.

And I've talked about it before because I truly do think like in that moment when I was 19, like my life did change immediately, but I think like believing that change doesn't happen immediately if that makes sense, you know? And also because like you're not immediately perfect after that. You are a new creation, but I was still struggling. I still struggle with similar, like the same sins.

And it was totally different than before, but I'm like, okay, how do I walk in this new ness? And then I think that challenge led into a bunch of other challenges even more as I continued to grow. So that was in 2020 and I met Reeves in 2020 which is my husband now and we were friends for a year before anything and and so I was learning to walk in newness I had met I had met this man and then I had met friends like I had different friends because that was huge

to community because it is totally different like from one lifestyle to another is like totally Totally different and so that was definitely hard But I think the biggest challenge that came from that challenge of learning to walk in the newness was Learning to walk in a relationship in the newness, you know, and so when I first started dating Reeves I realized wait a second like I've never been loved like this. I've never experienced this kind of relationship that's actually truly based around the Lord. And so we, I mean, I brought some struggles into our relationship, not intentionally, but of course, I was walking in newness, but there were things that I couldn't realize

that needed to continue to shift until I was in that situation. And so, like, walking with Reavs, I remember we were sitting at a restaurant, and this is probably like six months into the relationship, and we were sitting at Athena in Monroe. And I was like crying, and I was like, I just don't understand why I couldn't, I was like, I don't know how to accept your apology,

because before like apologies didn't mean anything. And like before, it wasn't really anything. And like, you know, like before like, it wasn't really like communication, wasn't what fixed things like in like impurities, what fixed things. And like, so I was realizing like, I have all these issues that I still haven't figured out. And like the Lord is so kind to like,

he was with me and Reeves in that, you know, like, because of course, it'd be ideal to fix those things before. I was even in the relationship, but like the Lord was still in that with us. He, in Reeves, was so understanding too because I could be honest. I've never been loved like this. I don't know how to be loved like this and I've never loved correctly. Just figuring that out together was difficult, but it's been such a good thing.

That was, and it's been good because Reeves from the beginning was like communication, communication and I was like, shut down, shut down. And like, you know, you can't do that. And so even still, I still like, we can recognize, like I'm like, okay, well, this is from the past. Like this is something that's coming into my mind or this is something that's like because of a past relationship. And it's like, and it's beautiful too to see though

in that like walking in the newness, but God has so much grace even when it's like, I'm like, I should already be past this, like I shouldn't already, like I shouldn't still have this thing pop up, you know? Like it shouldn't still like cause like me to be insecure, but then it's like God still has grace for that. And like, and I think that's something I'm learning too,

is like, there are things that are like from the past, but the Lord wants to heal those things, you know? And like there are like things that are hard to move forward with, but the Lord like is so kind to want, to continue to heal that, even despite the fact that like, yes, I've been married for a year now. And like in my mind, I can, I think it's the enemy who like wants me to think like that's like, you should,

that's four years ago, like that's five years ago, that's that's eight years ago, like you should be past that. And I'm like, I know, that's four years ago. Like, that's five years ago, that's eight years ago. Like, you should be past that. And I'm like, I know, but like the Lord's gonna get me through it. And it's in his perfect timing, you know? And so I think that's been probably the biggest challenge. And it's just like, so it's one challenge. It leads to another challenge leads to another.

And I think it's how all challenges kind of work. But like, to see the Lord's grace and like goodness through it all. And like, yesterday I think it's how all challenges kind of work, but to see the Lord's grace and goodness through it all. And yesterday I was listening to that song, I'm sure you'll all listen to it, the One-time God, or On-Time God, One-Time God. On-Time God. And I was like, thank God, he's not a One-Time God. He's not a One-Time, he's an On-Time.

But I was listening to it, and I'm like, it still just gets me emotional because I'm like, his timing is truly so perfect and everything, and that includes in the healing of anything, everything is so intentional to show you his goodness. Because I said it'd be ideal to have been healed, but R2 have been past things,

but even to see the goodness of my husband and going through it with me was on time, to see a man who can love through, I don't know. I guess that. Yeah. So if you're a long-term listener of this podcast and you know that me and Grygian love our AG1 and it's actually kind of funny because we've been talking about AG1 for years on this podcast and just now I've had like four friends text me this might and be like, okay, what's the code?

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it starts with A G1. So try A G1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3, K2 drops and five free A G1 travel packs through first purchase. Just go to drinkag1.com slash woe. Again, that's drinkag1.com slash woe. Again, that's drinkag1.com slash woe to check it out today. I love that. No, I love what you're saying. I think it's like Bible versus that at one point just seemed like, that's a good Bible verse that starts to actually play out

in your life and you realize, this is not just like a good saying, this is not just like a good idea, this is a transformative word, and it's transforming my life. And so to go from dead to life, that's not easy. Like, that's miraculous. And also to walk in a new self and not the old self and deny my flesh and walk in the spirit and receive new mercies every single morning

because that means every day I'm gonna mess up and go from grace to grace and kindness that leads you to repentance. Like these thoughts that are just like, that's a good thought. When you work them out in your life, it's messy because it's miraculous, it's transformative. And so I think, yes, that is something you hit

in your 20s when you're just really, especially if you're angry in faith You're starting to realize like this book is not just things I've memorized for Bible class It's not just things my parents said as good advice. It's things that truly make you live a life that's like pursuing Jesus and pursuing the path of life, which is not like your natural Path based off of a life of passing, you know. The path of righteousness is something that like only the Lord can do. If you can hear a baby crying out of the background, that's great sister girl. But that's the beauty of having a podcast at the house. We're going to have Cabo barking.

We're going to have delivery people showing up or a baby's crying. If honey was here, she would be blowing a dot call, which is why we had to make her go over to your grandma's house, because she was blowing a dot call. Okay, we had to take a slight break, a baby check, and in the meantime, we were singing songs. So we're taking it back to seriousness, at least what was the biggest challenge of your life? Okay, bring it back. In your 20s. Okay, so for me, I think about my 20s and actually got married when I was 20. So it feels like so much has happened since then.

And I just think back on when we got married and like looking at our future and planning out what that would look like and now looking at where we're at and how different it looks than what I expect. It's, I guess, when I think about it, there's been different seasons in this time in these seven years that I've been in my 20s, but it kind of goes back to just surrendering my plan and giving it over to God's plan for my life.

I feel like part of my challenge came from a waiting season, but now more than just a waiting season, it's a season of faith and love stepping out of my comfort zone and taking a leap of faith and trusting God and His plan versus my plan. So recently I just had our second baby. And can I just say, when she says, recently two weeks ago, look at this girl.

If you're listening on podcast, head on over to YouTube and check this girl. She's fully married with two kids, but you're looking good. So I feel like it's kind of transition because we did have a waiting season of having our first daughter, Everly, where we didn't get pregnant easily. And I remember right before we had everly, we were taking a walk, like a few weeks before we had her. And my husband and I talked about what we thought the future was gonna look like for our lives. Like, we're gonna have a child

and we're gonna do this and that. And then everything that we had planned is like completely different now, which is totally okay. But some of y'all were talking about faith and I feel like that's been very much tested, which is actually what we ended up naming our daughter, her name is Faith. But so, our second daughter, anyways, to tile this together, I feel like we had Everly and then we kind of just figured that we'd always have problems having children and that

it would take a longer time. And then we actually got pregnant. Like, she was, I believe, like six months old and we found out we were pregnant again. And we had no clue that was going to happen, which is a miracle. And it's beautiful. Like, it's so cool. I'll got to sew, you know, it's his timing ultimately. It would, we've learned that we cannot plan anything and that his timing is so much greater. But through that, when we were trying to decide what to name her, the only name that felt right was Faith. And little did we know how much that was going to be played into her story immediately.

And even just in our lives this year, like I feel like our lives this year has been all about faith. Because when I found out that I was pregnant again, you know, my daughter's only six months old. I'm like, how am I going to do this with a 14-month-age gap? And then I was working. I was a teacher at the time. And then we decided, I just felt like God was calling me to stay home.

So that took a leap of faith to say, I'm going to step away from my job and stay home with my girls financially and just like, how am I going to help out? And then my husband has recently decided to take another path for his job. So that took another leap of faith. And so it's just these repeated leaps of faith leading up to having faith. Before I go into that, I had a friend that when we're talking about all this and like, how hard it is sometimes it is to have faith because it's easy to say I have faith until it's tested and then it's like, okay, do you actually have faith?

Like you can say it all day, but when you actually get down to the point where you either are going to have faith or you're going to just crumble, it's like, okay, well, is it real? And so she sent me this, she heard a sermon and a preacher was talking about, there's this animal that's in the zoo. And I was like, where is this going? We're talking about this animal in the zoo. And I can't remember what the animal was called. And maybe this is completely wrong. But I think this was what she said that this animal can jump like 10 feet high.

But in the zoo, they put it behind a fence that's only five feet high. Because the animal won't jump somewhere that it doesn't know where it's gonna land. And that hit me so hard because a lot of times, you're like, okay, I'll take the leap, I'll take the jump, but I just wanna know how this is gonna play out. Like I wanna know what's gonna happen next,

is the job gonna work? Are we gonna be financially stable? Am I gonna be able to manage two kids that are 14 months apart? That's not real faith. You know, if you can see where you're going to land, then is that actually a leap? And is that actually true faith? And so I heard that before I had my daughter and then, you know, I went in to have my daughter

two weeks ago, two and a half weeks ago, and we thought everything was going to be normal. I mean, I had a little bit of some issues with like my fluid, but as soon as we had her, they gave her to me and then they realized that something was wrong pretty fast. So what turned into this beautiful moment, not that it wasn't beautiful anymore, but it turned scary really quickly. They were like, we need to take her.

We have to go check on her. Her lungs were not okay. She swallowed too much fluid. Then it turned into having to have a tube in her chest and it turned into having Her heart got you know, it was swollen. Just a lot went on really fast and In that moment we're like okay, God you know this her name is faith and You were testing our faith and we're about to have to decide are we going to step into into that faith and really, you know, trust you, are we going to turn to fear? And I remember just

sitting there with my husband and we, we said, I said, you know what, let's just talk about how faithful God's been in the past already. And so we talked about getting mayor, we talked about the jobs, we've been getting, we talked about how God did give us everything. We didn't even know if we'd have children. Now, here we are having a second one that we didn't even have to try for after going through that struggle. And we were like, you know what? We're going to just choose to trust you because when have you failed us?

And maybe it didn't look exactly like we wanted every single moment. Maybe we didn't want to have a child go into the NICU and have to see her and be away from my other daughter. Maybe we didn't want these things, but it into the NICU and have to see her and pay and be away from my other daughter. Maybe we didn't want these things, but it was his plan and it was beautiful. And the more we thought about it, her name is Faith Aliyah Al-Briton. And her middle name means God is answered. And so when we were sitting there, we were talking about that. And we're like, the cool thing about even her name that we didn't plan was, first was

faith. Then came Aliyah. Faith came first and Aliyah means God is answered. First we had to have faith to see that God has already answered our prayers. Not that our prayer, you know, God answering our prayers is going to look exactly like we want, but when we have faith we can see the way that he's answering is good. And we can see that he is worthy of that. And so it was even cool that her name, the meaning of it, let's have this faith. And then we're gonna see these prayers that are gonna be answered.

However God sees fit. And so I feel like the challenge just has been to really show that my faith is real. Or I don't even know how to word it, I guess. I guess it's just to show that God's plan is better for I don't even know how to word it, I guess. I guess it's just to show that like God's plan is better for my life than anything that I could ever plan and whatever that may look like in the waiting and the answers to the prayers before you even expect them or in the, you know,

living in the moment of being tested of your faith. Friends, we are almost at the start of a new year, which I'm so excited because fresh vision, new challenges, all the things. And we have a challenge that we want to do a long side of you. So, Christian and I had our devotional book, how to put love first, come out. It's a 90 day devotional challenge if you haven't heard of it yet. And we want to take this 90 day challenge alongside of you. So we have done 90 devotional videos that go alongside this book that we're so excited to do

each morning as we start our day throughout the New Year. So how you can be a part of this and how you can get involved. It's actually a gift to you. It is for free. Just text love, LOVE, to 318-206-5660. To get on our text list and you're gonna get a text every day of a devotional video and we are gonna do this challenge

together and put God first in our life. I'm so excited to do this with you all. I think you're gonna love it. So just text love, L-O-V-E, to 318-206-5660. It's good. Well, it is true. Like in your 20s, you start to develop all these plans for your life, you know?

Whether you think, okay, I'm gonna graduate college and then I'm gonna get this job and then I'm hopefully gonna get married or engaged and then we'll plan our wedding and boil on, like all of us have experienced making a plan and the plan not going according to your plan. But that's like, probably three is like, trust in the Lord without all your heart, lean on your own understanding, all your ways of knowledge and he will make your

path straight. But it's like his path that he's making straight. And you're leaning on your own understanding, but on his, on his plan for your life, knowing that interesting that it's better than your own. And Jackie Hopper was on the podcast couple of weeks ago and she said, something's so good. She said, Jesus said God is good and he's not a liar. So I have to trust he's good. And every time I read the word, my lens has to be he's good.

So even when you're reading the word and you get to the bad stuff and where it looks like he's not being faithful to his word because there's gonna be a minute in there that you're like, wait God, are you really doing what you said you're gonna do? I mean, I'm sure the Israelites felt that for 40 years wondering around, but like, then you see,

okay, you were faithful the whole time and you are good. So trying to challenge yourself even reading the word that he's good despite the bad that they go through, but once again, goes back to that whole idea of like, scriptures that sound a good, and then that they go through. But once again goes back to that whole idea of like scriptures that sound a good and then they're very challenging like, oh faith is like the confidence and the things that we hope for and the assurance of things that we don't see. Then you're like, hold up, that's being confident in something I just hope for. And assured in something, I cannot see.

I love that zoonology that's so good because it's true. It's like I have to have faith for what I can't see not for the things that I can Man, this is so good such good conversation. I feel like lost in hearing what everyone's saying just like pondering that and thinking about Things because I'm sure as you're listening you can think about a time that you had to have faith for something that you went through something Traumatic that you went from death to life. Maybe you're walking that season right now that you've been looking for community. You're walking with a friend who's going through something hard. I said I was going to share one of their challenging things and this is not like a specific challenge that I went through like one thing, but I was thinking about just like overarching theme.

And I'm only 26. A lot of us are in early 20s, some later 20s. So we saw this subject to change. Hit us when we're 30. We might have some more challenges we learned in our 20s. I'm sure we will because that's life but something that I think has been a thread through at least my 20s I'd be interested to know for y'all is just learning to be confident in like God inside of me like the Holy Spirit leading me like truly being confident in me as a person, I think whenever I was like in high school,

when I thought of confidence, it was more self confidence driven of like, I wanna be confident in what I look like or what I appear to be here, confident in just, you know, performance or whatever. But in my 20s, the confidence that I desire so much deeper of like confidence in like decisions that I'm making, confident in the person that I really am,

the mom that I am, the wife that I am, the leader that I am, and that's been really hard. Cause I think for so long, I like always leaned on my mom or like a mentor or somebody else, like helping me steer life. And all of a sudden like you really realize, like obviously God's in charge of my life, but I'm responsible for my life.

Like, I have to make good decisions for my life if I want to have a good life. And I think that, you know, one of you we're talking about, oh, you were talking about discernment of like, you thought you had, you thought God told you, he was gonna do it. And then he, he did it in a different way. It's not what you expected and you're like what in the world?

I thought I had the signs and I think like whenever I was younger there was a couple of things that I went through like 2021 19 2021 where I just had bad discernment and I just kind of blew a couple situations like and I think I lived in like the insecurity for a couple years That I don't know how to make the right decision for myself because I thought like I thought that the signs were saying go this way And I was wrong, you know, and I think that sometimes people in their 20s can think they blew it like oh, I blew it You know, or I can't trust myself. I can't trust my judgment And I remember like going to counseling during that time, and my counselor like said to me,

and I actually had her on the podcast and we talked about this, she was like, say to you have good discernment because God is inside of you. And people misled you and you fell into that, but you knew that what was right and what was wrong. And it just like reaffirmed me that, the spirit of living God is inside of me.

Like he is leading me. And I don't know, something about that was just like so helpful and encouraging. And I've realized that that's really impacted a lot of my decisions in the 20s of like being confident that I was marrying Christian, like the right person and like not second guessing during the whole engagement of, am I doing the right thing? Am I not? Because that would have been me in the past. Or like, being a mom, I realize real quickly,

like, you have to make so many decisions. And it's on you. Like, you decide what formula you're using. You decide if you're breastfeeding or not. You decide if your kids are going to be in bed by seven or if we're going to stay up late. And you decide if they get an eye pattern or not. And you decide all these things. And it's like, you have to be in bed by seven or if we're gonna stay up late and you decide if they get an eye pattern or not

and you decide all these things and it's like you have to be confident in that you hear the voice of the Lord. You have to be confident that you're being led by him that you're not leaning on your own understanding that you can trust him and his guidance in your life. And I don't know if, I don't think John Mark Comer's podcast will be out by the time, I just recorded it,

but I am just gonna tease it because he said something so good. And he said, um, discipleship, he said, a disciple is not a verb, it's actually a noun. And he said, that's such a good thing because when we think of being a disciple as a verb, then we think we have to be discipleed and it's depending on someone else discipling us. So it's depending on a pastor, a mentor, a parent. But when you switch it and you realize that it's a now, it's who you are, it's who you're not. You're either a disciple of Jesus or you're not, then you take responsibility on yourself

that I can really only truly be discipled by Jesus as a rabbi, as a teacher. And so what I've realized in my life, I think is I've gone from in earlier years being a disciple as a verb, like I felt I need to be disciples by someone in my life to make the right decision. To now being I am a disciple of Jesus,

he helps me make the right decisions and leads me down a good path from my life. And not that I still don't learn from so many mentors and not that I still don't want to learn from pastors and parents and friends and all of that. I'm always eager to learn. I can trust though that God is inside of me and I can make good decisions for my life and that's been like a huge step for me. I wanted to say too, I think it's really sweet to look at, you know, we're talking about these challenges in our lives, but it's when we go through the challenges,

the crushing and the pressing, and those hard times that our confidence is built up when we have to rely on Christ, because it's either that or what, freak out panic? Like, what does that do anybody any good, you know? So it's actually the difficult times, like the challenges that builds our confidence for the future, and then the next time we have a challenge, like you said, at least it's faith after faith

after faith, like all these decisions, but each time that you stepped into that faith, then you were able to step into it easier the next time because you're like, okay, I've seen that you're good. I've seen that you're good. I'm going to trust again. I'm going to trust again. And it's never failed you. So it's just sweet to see that like even in the times when we really

do feel like, okay, this is hard, like how am I going to do this? It's so important to look back and remember how God has been faithful because that does build our confidence to be able to trust him for the next season. So, there's actually something called survivor's confidence. It's like, I was reading about this one time because like Bethany Hamilton, for instance, she was attacked by a shark, but then she like, lives her life in the water. And you're like, how do you do that? Like, you were attacked by a shark. And now you, but a lot of people, because they survived the thing they were afraid of, they're no longer afraid of it. So it's like, I was bitten by a shark and I'm still alive. So I'm gonna go back

in the water because I made it, you know? and not that she didn't have to go through so much fear of getting back in the water. There was a testing of her faith. There was a gaining and regaining confidence, a swimming, relearning how to swim because she now has a new challenge and a completely different way of walking. And so it will challenge you. It will shape you. It might even reshape you in some ways. But there's an added confidence that you have knowing I survived it. I got through it, you know? I think going back to your like discernment thought I was thinking about this when you were talking.

It's almost like when you're first taking those steps of like how do I have discernment, we kind of expect discernment to be like the whole food, if you will, but the Lord does start us off on like the milk. Like it's a really small thing to discern and he's saying, okay, let me in on this so that you start building that confidence because he's not gonna ask you to like discern something

that's super life altering and like, you know, your first couple of weeks, if you will, of knowing the Lord, it's like he's gonna speak to you where you are, he's not going to ask you to do something to make a decision that he knows you're not going to have the right community to speak into, the right understanding of Scripture. I think there's a lot of things that we have to do to steward our ability to have right discernment. And it's the right people. Like don't go to the people that are going to tell you

what you want to hear. If people are telling you what you don't want to hear, like, take that into consideration and don't just blow it off. Like, I remember when we wanted to move here, we had people tell us, like, that's probably not the smartest thing to do. And they were people we trusted. And we're like, OK, but we really feel like we need to be here.

So what does that mean? And we took our time. Like we didn't jump to one or the other. And so even sometimes the right people will tell you the wrong things. So it's always going back to the Lord and going, okay, what are you saying? Like I'm gonna fast and I'm gonna pray about this

because even if it's not that important, like it's a baby step of obedience. And then I'm gonna have about this, because even if it's not that important, like it's a baby step of obedience, and then I'm gonna have that confidence to know, like when I make the big decision on who am I gonna marry, I'm not questioning it when I'm engaged. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. I also think that like going off of that too

is like the true confidence in the Lord, like I feel like is totally, it's like a polar opposite of confidence in the world and what the world teaches you confidence should be, you know? Because I feel like, in my experience, when I truly have confidence in the Lord, it actually causes me to have way more humility than I would have otherwise.

I'm not, like you said, I'm not confident in just myself. Actually, it's the total opposite. I'm confident because I know my God. I know who He is and I know what he says. And so it's like I don't have to walk in confidence because I'm good enough. I can walk in confidence because I know that he is and like he goes before me.

And so, and that's like been huge with my job is like, I walked into a job where I'm like, oh my goodness, like I'm not capable of this. Like how am I supposed to lead others? Like, and then it's like, now I can walk in confidence so because it's not about me. Like, and I have faith in trust in my God that like, I mean, not that I can just do whatever

and like be crazy, like, willy-nilly, like I can make every choice, like not, like, but it's like, I can trust that like, I can't mess up his plan. Like, ultimately, because it's even like you said, like, and I have that, like like when I have made the wrong decision, like, it still led me to here, you know? And so it's like, when you're truly walking with the Lord,

like we can be humble and knowing, like, he's got our back, like we don't have to walk in like, is this right, is this wrong, am I gonna ruin the rest of my life? Like, no, we're still gonna get to the point where he wants us to get to, because like, that's what it looks like walking with Jesus. Like, repent and you get back up, you say,

God, whoops, missed it, you know? And he's like, come on, come back on. Try again, that's what it's like walking with him. So it's like opposite of the world. We don't have to rely on ourselves. We get to rely on him. It's great, this is so good, this is so rich. I'm like, I hope everyone is leaning in

and really listening to this I think about Hebrew sin 35 So then do not forget your confident trust in the Lord for it will be richly rewarded and it will be so rich Rewarded when you get to trust him because the pressure is off of you and yeah I love it you so that Freddie that even the like good people with good intentions can sometimes do you in the wrong direction because they don't They you know might not have felt called like you did, you know, God's doing something in their life, God's doing something. That doesn't mean they're wrong or bad for saying it, but you gotta be responsible for

what God told you. And I think that was the thing in the, those earlier years that I would just, if a mentor said it, that was it. But it's like, Mentor does not trump Jesus. Jesus drumming. but it's like, mentor does not trump Jesus, Jesus trumpet. I'm discipled by Rabbi Jesus teacher, not just by mentor friend family, because they might, you know, and for me, what I used to do is I would like,

feel like, okay, this is what I heard Lord say. What do you think I should do? And not like, this is what I heard Lord say. This is what I need to do. Help me, have the faith to do it. Help me walk through it in the right way. Okay, we're definitely gonna need to do. Help me have the faith to do it. Help me walk through it in the right way. Okay, we're definitely going to have to have a part two because this is so good. And we have gone so far into so many different conversations. But thank you

all for sharing the challenges of the 20s and speaking so much truth and so much wisdom. I'm so grateful to be surrounded by all of you in my life. It's a true gift and thank you all for sharing all of our lives with all of them because we really do desire to be sisters and friends. That's why this podcast is called Sisters and Friends. It's to laugh together, joke together, but also talk about the real stuff, and be vulnerable and help each other out in life. So if you're longing for a community, hopefully today we could be your community

and help steer you in the right direction and draw you closer to God We love you guys and if you want more videos like this and in some Requests on topics ideas that you want to hear us talk about and we'd love to discuss them It's fitting. Yeah.