WHOA That's Good Podcast - Real Talk: Sex, Purity & Boundaries | Sadie Robertson Huff

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

Sadie leads this special episode featuring some of the most helpful advice, encouragement, and hard truths from past conversations about sex, dating, relationships, and purity. Honest discussions with guests such as Preston & Jackie Hill Perry and Korie Robertson offer biblical perspective, practical wisdom, and reassurance for anyone trying to navigate love and relationships with intention. Whether you’re single, dating, or simply looking for clarity, this collection brings together meaningful reminders about honoring God, setting healthy boundaries, and making wise choices. This Episode of WHOA That's Good is Sponsored by: http://primallypure.com — Get 15% off your order when you use code WHOA at checkout! https://www.liberty.edu/Sadie — Get your application fees waived, register for CFAW for free, and enter the $50,000 Sadie Scholarship Giveaway for a chance to win one of multiple scholarships!! https://drinklmnt.com/whoa — Get a free 8-count Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular drink mix flavors with any purchase - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What boundaries did you set in your dating relationship? And this was a really great question. Honestly, we kind of went a different route than just having like, if you're talking about physical boundaries, which we can talk about other boundaries too, I guess. There's a lot of different boundaries. But physically speaking, we didn't say like we're not going to do this, this and this and we are going to do this, this is and this. Like, here's the boundary because I do feel like when you have a boundary, like you typically

just go to the boundary line, right? teeter that. Yeah, and then you just cross it and you feel bad and all this stuff. And like, we just wanted to not make it such a, like, there's a line, but more just like, we have a relationship with God and like, we're pursuing God and we're pursuing God and we're pursuing God's plan for our life and for a relationship and God's plan is purity and God's plan is one man or one woman for marriage. And I will say, like, that wasn't our, that wasn't what our past looked like, you know, but we had an opportunity when we came together for our future different than like people that we did in the past. And we both wanted God's plan.

We wanted to pursue that. And so together we made a decision, hey, we're going to do that. And that looks like purity. And that looks like this. And so we really pursued that. And that was that boundary in the sense of like, you know, just conversations of before I pursue you, I'm going to pursue God. And then out of that relationship, that's going to cause me to love you the best that again

that's going to make me be more patient with you and more loving and gracious. And if I get those two mixed up, then I'll start, you know, putting you on this pedestal that you can't live up to. So I think that was the boundary that we really talked about a lot. Yeah. So the biggest boundary is definitely like loving God first and then loving each other. And that's still true. Like, I hope that's always our life, that we love God first and we love each other. And then we love our family and our friends and people, you know.

One thing that we learned looking back is that we were able to remain pure in our relationship. and we abstained from having sex before marriage. But with how much of a struggle that was at times. And like we made mistakes and it was really hard because both of us had not remained pure before we were together. But looking back, after we were married, it was like, man, if we had started dating when we initially tried to start dating, had the Lord not stopped that we would have for sure.

And we kind of touched on earlier. Like we had had some personal struggles. We would have, I don't know that we would have been able to do what we set out to do. And they remained pure. And the point that we would have started the relationship, I wouldn't have built such a strong stance about that. Because it was in that time in between when we were. we tried to date and it didn't work and then we ended up dating, I had really pressed in on

some of those struggles in my life and started surrendering a lot of that and working on that part of me. And something I came to kind of stand on, I guess, is that, and this is big, I love sharing this. If you're willing to go outside of marriage in a dating relationship to have sex, then you don't hold the covenant of marriage highly, as highly as you ought to, the way that God calls us to. Because if you're willing to go outside of marriage with that person in the dating relationship, then you're willing to go outside of it when you're married to. Wow.

And when I heard that, I was like, okay, so it's on the same level as. Wow. Because it's not about the fact that it's that. person like you're going to be married anyway. I think that's a huge excuse today. And it's honestly a lousy excuse because when you think about it like that, if you don't, if you don't value marriage, like value the covenant of marriage, and you're willing to go outside of that in the dating relationship,

then you'll be willing to go outside of it. What does it hold at that point? Wow. Because you already did it. Yeah. Even if it's with the person you're going to be married to. Yeah. Wow.

So whenever we ended up dating, I went into it with that understanding. And I was like, oh, this is way more important. Yeah. And he really did lead that too in our relationship, which was really huge. There was moments where I was weak and you were strong. It's true. But you led it from the beginning. Like you did.

And it was huge because I definitely, I mean, I had never experienced sex in a beautiful way before. Like, you know. And because it was outside of marriage. It was outside of the will of the Lord. And so it was never what it was intended to be. Yeah. And so even that was another reason I was scared of commitment. Everything was just, I was like, I don't know if I can, I don't know if I'm strong enough to, like, follow the will of the Lord in this area.

And I remember praying, I was like, God, like, I need you to send me a man who actually will, like, love me how you want him to love me. And in that sense will, like, lead us away from this. Like, yeah. And so I had never experienced it in a beautiful way. And then with Reeves, it was truly, like, from the beginning, he led that. Like, he was like, the Lord says this. And if the Lord says it's not good outside of marriage, it's not good. So we are going to fight.

And take it seriously. It's going to be a fight our entire relationship. It's not going to be easy, but we're going to fight this. And now being on the other side of it, like after marriage and truly, like, I don't know if like, but after our wedding, like everything, I truly now, it's like looking back, it all makes sense. Like, you know, it makes me, like, I wish I could go back and tell like little me. And now, like, I do tell girls. Like, I'm like, you, I know you don't, you're not here. So you're not me.

You haven't experienced it, but I'm like, God, like, he says it because he loves you. Like, it's truly protection that he doesn't want you to go, like, to do that. And it's like, on the other side of it, it makes so much sense. Like, it's like, this is why he says to wait. Like, this is why, you know. I wish more people, like, would have told us that when we were young, that it's because of a, like, it's a good thing and because he loves us. And because he loves us.

And because what he designed is good. Yeah. And outside of it is not good. like it's it's not like it's actually not good like it does it hurts you like it literally hurts you like just you know knowing some of your story and like pain that's come from it it's like that is really hard and even like me and christina have been open talking about our past struggles like it hurts and so then to have it in a beautiful way the way it was designed to be good and it protects your heart and all the things it's like man I wish people weren't just like don't have sex before

you're married because then you're just like why I want to you know yeah but then to hear what God has for it's like, oh, wow, because it's so much better because it's like actually beautiful and it's a gift. And so I'm so glad that you all spoke to that because it is true. And also like, just take note as you're listening because some of you might be listening and be like, man, I've already messed it up. No. The redemption. No, like there's so much redemption. Like even if you're in a relationship right now with the guy you're going to marry and y'all are engaged and you're having sex, like, it's still, it's not too late to like stop, pump the brakes and be like, hey, let's practice right now what this looks like to actually pursue what God says is good and wait and, you know,

sustain from that and step into marriage pure because right now you ask for forgiveness and turned and repented and there's a redemption story for you. So like I just believe it's never too late to be washed in the blood of Christ and be pure in his sight and no matter what relationship you're in. And coming from all of us who I would say we all went into marriage purely and that's not because we did everything perfect, and that's not because we abstained from everything, but because we repented before Christ and got pure before stepping into our wedding night, there's freedom for you, friend.

Considering where we both came from, right? So Preston had sexual experiences before marriage. I did not with men. And so that whole arena was new to me, but we both came into it with history with watching porn. I came into it with a history of sexual abuse, all of that. So that automatically sets us up to low-key have some dysfunction around the topic, but we were ignorant to the way that dysfunction would manifest. Because I think we assumed, oh, when we're engaged and we dating, we're feeling hot.

You know what I'm saying? Like, we're ready to go. And I didn't. Hot bother. I didn't realize. Nobody warned me that sex would be difficult. nobody warned me that sex would be triggering. Nobody warned him that maybe he would not get it

at the frequency that he was expecting. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, he's like, I'm abstinent, I'm giving my life to the Lord, I'm putting flesh to death, I'm not having sex with all these girls. So surely when I get married, the Lord is going to reward me.

But the Lord happened to set him up with somebody that was sexually abused. So it's like all of this tension. And it was like no one warned us that maybe sex is a thing that God will actually use to sanctify y'all. It won't just be all rainbows and butterflies. And that's not to say that doesn't exist.

But I think we have realized that that's something you have to work for. It doesn't just happen just because you said I do. That's so true. That's so true. I think, you know, if young couples would truly be disciples by the church to know that, you know, sex might not look like how you think it may look like, I think that we would save a lot of people, a lot of heartbreak, a lot of disappointment.

Because I think in the same way, you know, women fantasize about their marriage day, men fantasize about, you know, how much sex they're going to have with their wives. And when I disciple young men, now I have a framework to disciple them and say, man, like, you don't know how your wife's past trauma is going to show up in your marriage. So ask the Lord to help you be that husband before it actually comes. you don't really know how how marriage is going to. And he doesn't know how his trauma might show up. Yeah, yeah.

Because you can think having wanting your wife sexually every moment of every day is healthy when there might be a measure of lust in it. Yeah. There might be a measure of idolatry in it where your wife is not someone to love or to die for like Ephesians 5, but an object to feed from. I think when that's the perspective because it can look natural. on the surface when it could still be rooted in trauma. Yeah.

Rejection, abandonment, and an unhealthy neediness. And so I think we both realize like, oh, we both have issues around this subject that we pretty much needed some therapy for. Yeah. And I think that, you know, I also think that, you know, I think a lot of men, we, we have to just deal with the reality that society and wrong teaching has kind of informed us how we should look at the opposite sex and how we should treat women bodies. And this is the reason why when we get rejected in marriage is so, it's so disappointing because society tells us that women

should never reject us. And so it doesn't give us a real full reality of a holistic relationship inside the context of a marriage to say, no, your wife is a, is a complex, nuanced human being just like you are. And her body is a, you know, you. even though like our bodies are not our own, like y'all coming together is still a privilege, that you shouldn't automatically feel like you have the right to when you want it. Yeah. And so I do think that that society teaches us that, no, you should never get rejected,

but that's not reality. And so I think a lot of men going to marriage is just, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. First of all, you probably don't know how. Especially if you grew up in, you know, like in church your whole life. I thought you want to say something crazy. No, no, I'm just saying, like, it's so like, there needs to be some humility there.

Yeah. You know, you need to talk to some older men to be like, man, like, you know, every woman body is different, first of all. And so I just think that we didn't need real honest conversations, transparent conversations, and we shouldn't just let people think that, like, this is how it's going to be in marriage, like, prepare people well. There's something so great about a routine that makes you feel more put together without turning into a whole production, especially on busy more. I want products that are easy, good for my skin, and do more than just one job. That's exactly why I love this tinted duo from Primally Pure. Their sun serum tinted SPF and lip plus cheek tint gives you that fresh, natural look, and seriously less than a minute. They have the sun syrup and it is daily mineral SPF 30 protection plus a soft creamy tint

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And I want to dispel just if there just so happens to be somebody listening that has the lie in their mind that you guys. to try it before you buy it. You know, like I need to, I need to watch certain things or I need to practice in certain ways so I can show it with my spouse in a way that's impressive. I think it's satanic. And it's not even a thing. Sexual immorality is not godly or holy.

And I think you have to recognize that marriage is a covenant, a lifelong commitment between two people where you are continually learning how to be one. And so even sex is a part of that learning, a part of that cultivation. Because truthfully, my body is not the same body as it was 11 years ago. So he's still learning me. His body is not the same. And our bodies won't be the same in 20 years. So there will be ebbs and flows of us continuing to learn how to please each other.

And so I think if you see it as, no, this is a ride we're on rather than a destination, then you'll have a proper perspective. And then I also, that's so good, but I also would have just exposed an enemy. and this ideology that we have to try before we buy it because sex outside of marriage or even exploring things outside of marriage, the enemy tells us that we got to, you know, keep this guy happy that we're dating. So let me do it. And what you're really doing is you are accumulating experiences that will not show a will

when you actually get married. Say it one more time. You are accumulating experiences that actually will not be good when you, like this is the reason why men who watch pornography get so disappointed because you're vicariously living through men who are not being rejected through porn. And so when your wife reject you, you, you, you, or when she has the body. Or when her body changes, like, like, like, perversion has skewed your outlook and it's, it will affect how you show up, you know, having sex with multiple people, that you, you, you, you had sex with him because you're trying to keep him because you think he's, he's

husband and now y'all didn't work out now when you actually get married you're comparing this guy to your person that god actually wanted you to spend the rest of your life with that's what the enemy wants the enemy wants to affect your marriage before you actually say i do well i was going to say too that's what they're saying the thing before we got married that was what our pastor would talk about was that when you're dating the scheme of the enemy is like the playing field is on he's going to get you to try to have sex with your girlfriend or boyfriend every single day yeah and then when you get married, he's going to try to keep you from having sex with your spouse. Every single day.

Every single day. So it's like, it's still the same problem involving sex, but it's a different strategy that the enemy plays. So when you're dating, yes, he tries to get you to feed your flesh in that. But then when you're married, he tries to keep you. This little old church mother said that to us once out, she said, when you ain't married, he wants you in everybody bed. And when you is married, he only wants you in your own.

It is true. It is true. It is true. But I feel like there are so many people listening right now who are like, okay, this is me, right? I'm in this relationship. We're not married. We're having sex. Or I'm watching porn. I don't know how to get out of it. I don't know how to break up with the guy. I don't know how to make it right with the guy. I don't know how to stop watching porn. Can we give some advice? Yeah, absolutely. And when I just said what I said, that was in the back of my mind because I don't want people to condemn themselves if they had sex before marriage or if they watch pornography because I've done both. Right. I was not a virgin when I got married and I struggled with pornography. The beautiful thing about the gospel of Jesus Christ, he is a redeemer of all things. Great.

Yep. Like he literally like he like one, you know, we both have broken past. Right? She came from a life of homosexuality. I came from a life of just being promiscuous. And God bringing us together is to say, you know what, I can take broken things and make it beautiful. That's the gospel, right? But at the same time, don't think that you have to remain there if you are there. Right? God is calling you out now and he's calling you to himself and don't have shame. Like, you know, like Jesus literally endured the shame of the cross so you wouldn't have to deal with it. But know that God is calling you to something higher and greater so that you can experience more fullness of life. It's great. I think spend time in texts related to sexuality and sex, whether that's Romans 1, Galatians 5, 1st Corinthians 6,

like those texts, get those in your system. But I also want to speak to the motive behind sexual immorality, which could help, like, if we uproot that, then your behavior will change, right? So like Tim Keller in his book about idolatry talks about surface idols and root idols. So surface idol could be sex, money, fame, da-da-da. The root idol might be rejection, fear, all of that. Usually there's a root idol at work when you are in sexual sin.

That might be comfort. That might be fear of acceptance. That might be you don't want him to leave. But at that root is you don't try. trust God to be what you actually need. And one of the ways that you excavate an idol is see and research and study how God is actually the thing that you want. Yeah.

So if you want comfort, 1 Corinthians 6 says that he's a source of all comfort. And so when God, even in John 4, when he's talking to the woman at the well who's had five husbands, the way he deals with her stuff is by revealing that he can make her, he can quench her thirst. That's how he deals with it. Now with shame. Not with condemnation. He simply says, I have water to drink. you don't even know about.

But once you drink it, and guess what? She did drink it in the spirit. That's why she left her bucket and went to the city and was like, hey, I just met this man that just told me everything I ever did. So like, get in the texts, but also let God be God. And that, like, your affections will change. Your desires will change. And even the way you deal with your temptations will change because you're filled now.

And I remember whenever his pastor said that, and he's our pastor, but your pastor before we got married and before I went to that church. and he was saying like oh yeah whenever you're dating you know you always want to have sex when you're married you never want to and it scared me because it's like oh well if we get married like is that gonna you know and it's not again like there's so much beauty in it too like when because marriage like sex is meant for marriage it's designed for marriage so this beautiful thing that god has created there's so much good it's just that the enemy does definitely come after it and because of past and because of perversion and because of things

you are going to need help navigating this territory because you've already done things or seen things or heard things and continue to because the world is like you don't even have to seek it, you'll just see it. I mean, we're driving on the interstate the other day and it's like this billboard

and it's just all these girls' butts straight up and I'm like... Is it the lotion? Yes. The sunscreen. It's like glittery lotion. Yes, and I was just like, okay, not cool, you know.

the wife sitting in the car with the kids and you're seeing like perfect butts on a billboard. Like, you don't even have to go looking. It's just there. It was diverse. It was diverse. It was a very diverse group of people. And I say that to say like, yeah, the enemy is real, but God does have a good design. He is a redeemer and can make things beautiful.

So that's why you have to have these conversations. And I want to affirm something because I know, depending on sometimes our denomination or theological context, you could feel like we're putting the devil on too much. But Ephesians does. You know? Like when I had to, I did a study on Ephesians, a Bible study. And when I read through the book, one of the commentaries was saying how a lot of times we detach chapter six about the armor of God and spiritual warfare. We detach it from chapter five, which is about marriage.

You know, but Paul is making one full point. Wow. That's really cool. Like husbands love your wives. Like Christ loves the church, giving himself up for her. washing her with the water, where wives submit to your husbands like the church submits to Christ,

da, da, da, da, da, da. And chapter six is how you fight against all the opposing forces that keep you from walking in your position. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And so to say that there are principalities and powers that want to separate your unity

is to affirm scripture. Because if marriage is a picture of the gospel, if sex functions within the context of that marriage, helping the oneness, cultivating the oneness, You cannot think that there are not devils with plans and strategies to keep y'all disunited. Why? Because that hinders the proclamation of the gospel through your marriage. Teach us.

And so it's like we're not just being charismatic. Yeah. We're being biblical. Yeah. Friends, have you been praying through what's next for school, whether that's college or homeschool for your family, I want to tell you about Liberty University. Liberty is a Christ-centered university in Lynchburg, Virginia. With so many options for so many different seasons of life, from residential college to online programs,

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Which is really a huge number of people. So most of you listening, you might have heard about sex from a friend. You might have heard about it from TV or the internet. And maybe that's why you have a skewed view of sex or a confused view of sex. Or really, you're just not even sure what you think about sex other than it is what it is. And so what we want to do is we want to share with you that God's view of sex and the biblical viewpoint of it. And why we want to talk about this is because I don't think a lot of people even know what it is. I think a lot of people when I think about what the church has to say about sex is don't have sex before marriage.

But that's not really helpful because that leads to asking question, well, why? You know, why do we not have sex before marriage? And if you don't take the time to know why, then you're just going to do it because why not, you know? I was thinking when you started this by saying kind of like this is something that no one was to talk about. But in one way, yes, it is kind of one of those things that, like, you don't really want to talk about. But another way, it's like what everybody's talking about all the time. You know, if you look at the Internet or you look at TV or you look at anything, like, they're talking about sex. Everyone, people are talking about it all the time.

You actually can't go through a day. There's a statistic that's something crazy. But, I mean, if you're honest through yourself, you can't really go through a day where you don't see something that's, like, overly sexualized. Whether it's, like, on the Internet, on social media, in a magazine, I don't. a store that you see in a song that you're listening to, especially if you're listening to any secular music right now, you're going to hear about sex. So actually, yes, you're right. It's always talked about and it's always out there. I just don't think it's talked about in such a way that's really talking about what it's meant to be and what it was designed to be. Because that's

become a controversial thing and a controversy that they didn't talk about. And I think a lot of people are wrapped up in, especially in the church, like, shame of like, oh, well, I've already lost my purity. And so I can no longer look at God's time for sex is an option for me. But I just want to go ahead and state from the beginning, I believe that's a lie because I think that some of us think, oh, we've lost our purity because, you know, maybe we're not a virgin anymore. Maybe you've already had sex with other people. But I believe under the blood of Christ, all can become pure again. and God can restore that original idea and concept for sex in your life, whether you've had sex before or not. And you may have heard about sex from the church, and it may have been in a harmful way.

There may be ways that the church misrepresented God's word. And I think that that does happen a lot and has happened. And so I know a lot of people have a lot of hurt because of that, because of things that were taught to them. remember even if you grew up in Bible class or a Christian school, there may be things that were taught to you that actually aren't really what God's word says. And so that is why we always want to go back. Like we always want to like go straight back to God's word because you can listen to a sermon or you can read a book or you can do that. But unless it is directly goes by God's word, then, you know, you really have to test and approve whether it's, it's from God.

Absolutely. And I do think that there have been so many harmful things put out from the church when it comes to sex and if that's brought shame to your life, I just want to say that is not the message of Jesus. That is not the message of the cross. That is not God's intention for sex. And so if you've heard an analogy that was horrible, well, actually, I'll talk about some of those horrible analogies. If you've heard things spoken over your life that alluded to anything other than the power of the blood of Jesus can heal you and assure you of all things, and it's not truth. And so we're going to go over just some of these things that we've written down. One of the things that I do want to talk about, though, the beauty of looking into God's perspective of sex

is that it has been the same concept since Genesis 1. We abide by the same truth. And I think that what's so powerful about the Bible is that the truths do not change. Like these things, we've talked about this in another podcast. So the idea for sex and marriage is the same idea we're talking about now. The same idea we're talking about before Jesus after Jesus. So we're all saying is a good idea that sex is good and this is why it's good and this is what God is designed for it. On the other hand, culture's view of sex has changed a lot. It's continuing to continue to change. And that's why I think that it's kind of scary that 80% of people find out about sex from peers, internet TV, because they're finding out about all new ideas, all new concepts, and it's just constantly

changing. And it's constantly changing. Like there's nothing to hold onto whenever something is just constantly changing. Yeah, when something changes like that, you don't know if that's a good thing. I mean, it hasn't stood the tested time. as opposed to God's view of sex, since it has a time that this is a good thing and that there's blessing that come from, there's beauty that comes from it, there's a sacredness and intimacy that comes from it.

And it doesn't do harm. It doesn't good. It brings life, you know? And so I do think that that is significant that we should note. One of the biggest lies that the enemy does tell us today, you know, what you see on television and what you read in books and all the things,

it's like that lie, that sex means nothing, that it's just like something you can do and forget about in the next day. doesn't matter, does it mean anything? And I think deep down, we all know that's not true, you know, but we want to pretend like that's true. We want to live like that. But deep down, we know that that's not true.

I think it has, you know, it has consequences that are emotional consequences and also has, there's physical consequences like you could get pregnant out, you know, and be a single mom. There's, you could, there's transmitted diseases that come from sex from with multiple partners, things like that, that are actual real life consequences. So this isn't like something that's just like, oh, there's no consequence to it. This is like, or playing a game or whatever. And I think deep down we all really know that, but that is a lie that I think the evil one really tries to tell us. Because if it bonds you emotionally, physically and spiritually, then I think it has consequences for all of those things as well.

I think it's damaging emotionally. I think it can be damaging physically and also spiritually as well, you know. And so I do think that that is important to know. It's like, why is this God's design? Why does God say only one man, one woman? Why? And here's the thing, like, I always love to say this. Like, God does not give you a rule or a command to ruin your life.

He gives you commands to give you the fullness of life. And so if God ever gives a command that feels harsh or that feels, I love David Plastis, it feels negative, then what God is doing is he's either trying to protect you or he's trying to call you to something better. So either God is trying to protect you from something. or he's trying to call you to something better for something. And so God's, um, boundary lines are never to harm you. Obviously, God's boundary lines are to protect you. And it's a beautiful thing to be under that. And I think as we just talked about, you know, the world's going to say, oh, well, it's, um, just for your satisfaction. It's just for your pleasure. Like, do it. You to you. It's

going to feel good. It's going to be good. All these, all these things. Um, what's the harm in just one night or whatnot? But, you know, we are a people that are created just to be satisfied. We aren't a people created for satisfaction. We're people created for love and we are people created to be fully known and to be fully loved. And so even when we engage and indulge in that satisfaction, we might find like a temporary moment of satisfaction or a temporary moment of feeling good. But in the end, it does not lead us to life. It does not lead us to feeling good. But to be fully known and to be fully loved, that is what actually leads us to the fullness in the context of marriage. I love Song of Solomon paints like a beautiful picture,

marriage and the wedding night. And this is what the book, Meaning of Souls is all about. And it's just so beautiful because, you know, when we look at like sex in our culture, yes, everyone will say, well, it doesn't matter. It's fun. It's good. But then think about all the problems that we have with sex and our culture. Like the Me Too movement, you know, like how many women have been damaged and have been harm and men from just abusive? sex and sexual things and perversion and all these different things. We have like all these things in culture that actually show us the harm that this does when it's not done and handled properly. But Song of Solomon paints this beautiful picture of this husband with his wife on their wedding

night and it is so cool to read. And if you read it and you don't fully understand it, that's how I encourage you to listen alongside Matt Chandler on Millie of Souls if you listen online or read his book because he just like lays out exactly what it. is talking about. And he pursues his wife in a sexual way on their wedding night with tenderness, with love, with care. He sees her fully. He acknowledge everything about her. He loves her. He does not push. He does not, he's not quick. He is just, there's just such an ease to it. And she is mutually giving it back. And it's just this, like, beautiful, beautiful thing. And like, that's the picture of what it looks like inside of marriage. It's not just like a quick,

like physical satisfaction thing. It's not a selfish thing. It's actually a really selfless thing. And sex is looked at as so selfish in our culture. It looks like it's just for me. But in marriage, it's selfless and it's beautiful and it's done with care, which then makes you feel more love,

which is actually what you really desire. And so, yes, like, will it bring temporary satisfaction if you have sex in marriage? Yes, it will. Like, will you get pleasure from it? Yes, you will. It will also do harm, yes. But in marriage,

there is that satisfaction, that pleasure, but then there is fullness. And there is the thing that your soul really craves, which is to be, like, deeply loved. Yeah. I know y'all film me when I say that hydration sounds simple and easy, but it really impacts your energy, mood, and focus. Especially in the summer when you're outside more, maybe you're chasing kids, working out, running from thing to thing. You don't want to have to be dealing with headaches, muscle cramps, or poor hydration. And that is why I love element. It is a zero-sugar, electrolyte drink that actually tastes great and gives your body a

solid dose of electrolytes that you actually need without the sugar, food dye, or shady ingredients that you find in so many sports drinks? And can we talk about elements 12-ounce sparkling cans? They are slim, cold, crisp, and perfect for those slightly rushed moments like school drop-off or a long workday, or whenever you just want something refreshing to sip on. They come in pineapple salt, lemonade salt, black cherry salt, and orange salt. Each can or convenient stick pack has sodium, potassium and magnesium, so you're getting real hydration support in a super easy and delicious way. Christian loves this stuff, y'all. He always has his element can with him. He is a slim can kind of guy. I actually kind of like the stick packs. I'm like an on-the-go person, but it's really good no matter what

kind of person you are. So get a free eight-count sample pack of elements most popular drink mix flavors with any purchase at drink element.com slash woe. You can find your favorite element flavor or share with a friend that's drink element l mn t.com slash woe. So let's talk about some of the harmful analogies of the church. So there have been some terrible analogies thrown out that the church has thrown out as far as sex goes. I think when we've tried to handle the sex talk for people not wanting to just say it the way it is, they try to paint an analogy about it. And sometimes it just goes so south. And so I just want to bring up the rose analogy if y'all have ever heard it.

there was a TikTok going around Matt Chandler did about the rose analogy that was so well handled that I love how he said it and basically this pastor Matt was at this church and this pastor came up and he held a rose and he was like look at the rose isn't it so beautiful and he was talking about like a virgin basically if you've never had sex like how pure this rose is like how beautiful this rose is and he's like now everybody like passed it around the church so like passed it all around the church. And then the rose came back to the pastor. And then he was like, who would want this now? Like, look how damaged it is. And, like, he was just, like, so rude about it. Like, this is basically what you're offering your husband at the time you get to your wedding night or your wife,

at the time you get to your wedding night. If you've had sex outside of marriage, like, you're damaged. You're no good. It's less beautiful. It's less pure. It's less holy. all these things. And Matt Chandler, like, with tears in his eyes was like, Jesus would want the rose. Like, yeah. Like, you've missed it, dude. Like, like, Jesus would want. what the rose, like how could you even say that? And I just want to say like, if you're, if you believe in an analogy like that, I am so genuinely sorry because, and if you've ever said something like that, that is taking away the power of the cross. That's like saying, oh, the cross is powerful enough forever their sin, but that, are you kidding me? The power of

the cross can redeem all things, can make all things new. And so it doesn't matter what you've done or how far you've gone. It doesn't matter who you've slept with or what your hidden sins are. When you bring that to the cross, when you come under the blood of Christ, when you confess that, repent from that turn. The old is gone. The new has come. And we're going to read some verses just over your life that speak that truth. So if you've heard anything that is an opposition to what we're about to read, then it's an opposition to the Word of God, which is the truth of God's word. And I just think this is so important because we have so many people walking around with so much guilt and with so much shame and sexual brokenness. And they're taking that into their marriage because

they think they have to because they're like, oh, I've done this. I feel so sorry for it. And I'm like, no, walk into your marriage pure and holy because God's made you that way. Like me and Christian, like I said, we did not have perfect past. But we walked into our wedding night pure before the Lord. We were excited, you know, because we had been made new. And so I just want us to believe that for ourselves. Like I said, we already read Romans 323 for all have sin and fall short of the glory of God. So we're all in this boat no matter what you've done. I'm going to read Isaiah 1-18, the mom, if you want to go ahead and get Ephesians 1-7.

Other day, I actually heard a guy was telling his story. And he and his wife, and they talked about they went through some really hard years. And he had really gone astray. And he talked about, you know, the sexual sin was a big part of that. And he said, I didn't even understand the scriptures about like purity of heart or blessed or the pure and spirit. I didn't even think that was like for me. Like that was not.

It's like you read over it. He thought that was not even available to me. And he's like, now I know because I have repented and confessed and turn and given my life truly to Jesus and allow his blood to cover me. Like I now understand what that scriptures talk about. There is a purity of heart. There is, I can't have that. I can't access that.

That is not just for like someone else who has lived this pure life. This is for all of us. Yeah, I'm going to actually start with First John just after she said that. First John 1-9 says this. So this is it right here. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and he is just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us of our unrighteousness. So if we confess, he's faithful.

He's just to cleanse us of our sins and forgive us. Now, what can that do? What's the power of that? Well, I want to read Isaiah 1. I love this so much. I've always loved this verse, verse 18. And it says, come now, let us reason together, says the Lord, though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be washed as white as snow. And I just love that, that like your sins are scarlet. Your sins are real. But they are going to be washed as white as snow. And I remember the first time I went on a ski trip after I got out of a really broken relationship. And I looked at the snow and I just remember getting like emotional like, whoa. Like I've been looking at myself as like damage. I've been looking at myself as guilt and shame. And that is how God sees me under repentance, under redemption, as white as that snow. And then get this, when the sun hits that snow, it like glistens. It's like those most sparkly beautiful as like diamonds.

And I'm like, oh my gosh. Like, no way does he just see me this pure. Like look at it glistening and glowing in the light. And I just thought about like, man, when Jesus. It's like the Son of God because of what he's done for us. When we're seen under the light of Jesus and the blood of Jesus and the cross, we are glistening as white as snow. And so what a powerful thing to believe of yourself.

And that's not far out. That's in the Word of God. That's the truth. The word. Mom has some more verses to read as well. All right. Ephesians 1.7. In him we have redemption through his blood.

The forgiveness of our trespasses according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us in all wisdom and insubes. sight, making known to us the mystery of his will according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ. So it's just about that, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, would know the lavish love that he has for us. So good. And if you want to turn to 2, Corinthians 517, one of my favorite verses, and I'm going to read Acts 2 verse 38 over y'all. This is so good. Peter's talking. And Peter says, repent and be baptized. Every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. And so I just love

that so much because it's like, hey, if you repent of your sins and you're baptized and a Christ, like you're cleansed of all this. You're going to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. And so there is nothing, no sin that, like, is going to exempt you from being cleansed when you come under the confession and the repentance and baptism to then be able to receive the fullness of Christ. And so once again, like, you're not too far gone to get back to the original design that God had for you. You know, you're not too far gone to get back to the fullness of the picture of sex and marriage that God has for you. Yeah. Second Corinthians 517 says, therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come. So yeah, that's just that idea that you can be made totally new and new creation. That makes me want to dance. I love that verse. I'm like, the old is passed away, the new has come. Thank God for that. And when you believe that over yourself, it will change everything about who you are. And then we ask the question online, like, what kind of questions do you have about sex? And the flood of questions made us. realize, wow, people really do need some guidance around this. And again, not that we're like the

ones to guide you. I think you should again, go see a pastor counselor. Like let someone walk with your story in your life. But we'll go ahead and talk about it. So let's first talk about you mentioned like the will of God for your life. What is like the will of God when it comes to sex and relationships? Because some people might be like, what is the difference in like worldly and godly? And maybe they just think, oh, don't have sex to you're married, but why? you know, because I think a big thing that the church could do better at is just explaining, like, the picture that God actually created from the very beginning. The Bible talks about, like, you're becoming one with that person. And it's like, God's intention was that you become one with one person, you know?

And so that's what, like, Adam and Neve, they came together as one. And they were fruitful and multiplied. They had kids and stuff. And also, it talks about how, like, they were naked and they felt no shame. And I think that is like a, that's like a picture of what God had for sex is that two people and love each other so much, they would become one together, what God joined together, let no man separate. And then out of that being one with someone, they felt no shame, you know?

And so I think opposite than that in the world is like, you have sex with all these people and you don't realize that like you're attaching yourself to them in some way or to some capacity. and then there can be a lot of shame from that, you know, and there can be a lot of hurt from that, like you said, not just mentally, but physically and, like, all the different things. And I think, like, when you think about sin in general, when it comes to, like, the Bible, I think sometimes when we say, like, oh, it's sinful or it's a sin,

then people just think that you're being judgmental or God's being so judgmental and trying to, like, not let you have fun. Like, what? We can't get drunk. We can't party. We can't have sex. Like, it feels like, okay, fun,

like do you just not want us to have fun in life? This is just like judgmental. But actually like if you really read the Bible, it's not out of like this heart to just judge and dictate and like don't have fun. It's all out of the context of love. Like this is how much I love you. This is what I created you for. You shouldn't have to feel shame. You shouldn't have to have a hangover the next day and have a headache because like that was your idea of fun. You can actually like have joy and laughter and fun and love and feel no shame and have like freedom. And I feel like when you understand the context of like God's designs under that umbrella of like, oh, he's looking out for me. Like because the road, you know, um, to sin leads to death. Like these things don't lead to good things, but the path,

you know, of God like it leads to life, you know? And I think that's really the umbrella you got to look at it under. And I think, you know, people ask like, how do you get out of thinking, let me read it exactly. How do you get out of the mindset that sex is bad once you're married? And I think that's the problem is that we talk about, it's like before marriage you think sex is bad, but sex was never bad. It's always the design of sex that got created is always good. It's just outside of that design in marriage, it's wrong. It's hurtful. And so I think when we grow up thinking like sex is bad, sex is bad, sex is bad, then you get into marriage and you can't get over that idea that, like, you've always said it was bad.

When you really have to say, no, the design that God created for sex in marriage is beautiful and it's good and it's always been good. But outside of that design, it's hurtful, you know. The trap I think a lot of people get into is like, especially in engaged relationships, is that, you know, we love each other, we know we're going to get married, we even have a date on it. And like, so, you know, the temptation is just so strong like we just, we're going to. And I don't see why that's a problem. People might click on this podcast and they're like, they never heard about God's will for sex. They're like, wait, what?

Like, why are Christians like so don't have sex before marriage? Like, why? Because it's so normal. And, you know, it's a natural response from your body. Like, that's what you want to do. so why are we saying you shouldn't? Okay. Yeah, I kind of wanted to give a perspective on like a female side of that too, I guess.

Because like everything Christian said, I agree with. And I just feel like so often in the world, like what we see, like you were saying, like on the movies we watch and the books we read and the books. Like for me, like I was telling you all the other day. I was like 13 years old reading books. I should not have been reading, you know. And as a 13 year old, like I had no idea that that was even necessarily. wrong. I was just, I don't know. And that gave me such like a skewed idea of what like sex should look like or what a relationship should look like. And then just different things like that.

And so many times in those like books and movies and TV shows that we're watching, you don't see, like you never see the effects of it. Like there's so many, I always think about like Nicholas Sparks movies. Like I love them. Don't get me wrong. But like you see them like they're in a relationship and all and and it's this great thing, but then a lot of times, like, then another person comes along, and then they cheat on that relationship with this person, and then there's so much sex involved, and there's all this. And then at the end, it's like, oh, and we're happily married and we love each other, and it's great, you know? But they don't show, like, the effects of all of that, like, baggage that was in there, too, you know? Like, they don't show how it feels to go from

this to this and how it feels to have had that situation you're in. You know what I'm saying? That's so true. And so, like, you only see the good, like, you see, like, you see, like, oh like they got they they wanted this person they got what they got what they wanted they had sex like okay it was it was great it was passionate it was like that's what that's good like that looks good you know and that's what we you grow up seeing and so I mean like you said then after Christian that's what I was thinking is the Bible says like when you have sex you become one with someone and so when you have sex whether that's in marriage or outside of marriage you are becoming one with a person and it was never meant to be torn apart you know and so when you

you have sex with people, just whoever, when you have sex with people, and it is torn apart, like that wasn't how the Lord intended it to be. And it hurts. And it hurts. And it does cause shame. And it does, that does stay with you. Like for, I mean, there's so much redemption in it. But they're like, like Christian said, there are consequences to that. And I just think that the Lord, he didn't want us to have to face that pain. And that's not a pain that we had to endure, you know. Yeah. And so when we do it, it's like in this moment, it seems good because it's what we've seen and that's what culture teaches. But then you don't see the after effects until it's your own life. Like until you're the one living it. And you're the one who became one with this person and now they're not a part of your life anymore. And it's like, wait. Like this is hard. And like this was and and especially because I even, I grew up in the church and I knew all of the things. And to a certain extent though, like, cold. culture had become, or to a full extent, like culture had become what I believed more than what I was being taught in church even. And so I even got to a point where I thought sex was good, like,

even outside of marriage, like, because I hadn't surrendered my life to the Lord. So it did feel good. Like, it was what was right in that time to me, you know? And, and then I realized through that, and especially looking back, I can see there was so much heartache and pain the whole time, even in the midst of when I thought it was good, you know? Even when I thought, like, I convinced myself this is good, this is right. There was so much heartache in pain the whole time. There was underlying shame, even if it wasn't at the surface. Like, it was still deep within me.

And I know for sure, like when Reeves and I, we, I had a lot to, even when we started dating, I had to, like, rewire my brain almost to, like, how a godly relationship is meant to be without that aspect in it. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like, and to learn. how to be loved and to love without that aspect.

And that was just in their dating relationship. That was before marriage even. Like having that huge shift and mindset was so much because you're just taught that without that. Like there's something missing, I feel like, and that's how I had felt. Yeah. If this, I wasn't like, that was how I felt validated. That was how I felt, you know.

And then in a godly relationship to learn like that is not like what the Lord intended for me to feel or to like be. felt like I was needed for. I wasn't needed for that anymore. Like I was just desired because of like who I am as a child of God, not for what I could give. Yeah. It was like huge.

I think that's what's so huge when people say like, is it worth the way? I think it's like those kind of things are so worth it because you get to love each other without giving each other something that is not really, because sometimes I feel like, oh, if I just have sex, then they'll stay or then they'll light me or they don't want to worry about them looking at other places or other.

But to like go, you know what, we're actually going to fall in love with each other. And that's going to be strong enough. That's going to be even stronger than like a physical connection. That's going to be like a soul connection because we actually love who each other is. And then you trust that person so much more. And I think shame, like when we talk about shame, it's not just like physical shame where you're like you're naked and you don't feel shame like you don't feel embarrassed. It's so much more than that because you can get to the place of like, like you said,

having sex outside of marriage and thinking this is. good. This feels good. You're not feeling shame. You're feeling confident. You're doing the whole thing. But it's like, it's more than that. It's, it's, I trust this person. I love this person. I tell this person my insecurities. He, I know his insecurities. We, we're walking this out together. You know, when people say like, oh, how could you get, what do they say? Like, if you have a tester of a car, like, how do you know that it's going to work? It's like, because it's so much more than that. It's like when you have an emotional connection, you love each other so much. And like, that just is easy.

Like, you know how to drive a car. You'll figure it out. Like, I can look back at my life throughout middle school, high school, like years when I was so wrapped up in that. Like, there was always a sense of, like, shame in it. But the shame was never conviction. Yeah. Like, I can think about being in high school and all of my worldly buddies that were just crazy. Like, we would always talk about pornography.

But it was always, like, you always felt gross and you always felt bad. for like why am I so like like why is this such a huge like why am I so attracted to this like why do I always want to go do this but then like this is just being completely vulnerable like I can't remember times in high school this might be TMI but I'm just going to share it like I would literally be doing homework stop doing homework go watch porn come back finish homework and I'd be like I was like what am I do like this is just terrible like why am I doing this like but I'm saying that to say there was something in me that's like I know I shouldn't be doing this but it was the shame aspect of it and I felt dirty. I felt gross, whatever. But there was no like conviction from it.

Like the shame hadn't translated into conviction until after I really got serious about my relationship with Jesus. So I'm saying that to say like you might be listening to this and you might be making this decisions and you're wondering like, why do I feel somewhere deep in me that this is wrong? I shouldn't be doing this. Like when it feels natural, I'm just going to push back. Like that's, that's the spirit. Like that's something in you that's contrary to. what you were designed to do. Something in your nose, there's something more for you. There's something better.

Yeah, like there's the physical body. There's your soul. There's your spirit. There's your spirit. Like there's something else inside of you that is, it's, you know, it's contradicting to what your flesh is wanting you to indulge in because that's not what you were created to do. That's not what you were created to, you know, to just fully engulf yourself in.

So if you're listening to this and you're like, why do I feel like that? like it's because that's not what you were created and designed to do. I'm glad you brought that up because someone says how to avoid lust in your marriage. People always say marriage doesn't solve lust or pornography or anything. And I think this is really important because so much of what we're talking about as far as like not feeling shame in marriage, not struggling as much with lust in marriage, not struggling with pornography. It all comes like if you're able to and if you're listening to this post marriage and you're sitting there and you're struggling with this. there's still, you know, redemption and hope. And there is always redemption and hope to be found because Jesus is always, you know,

he rose from the grave, he's alive, okay? So if he's alive and he will always be, then there's always a chance for hope and redemption. So like, hear me say that. But a lot of what we walked through, like, we found freedom in this before we got married and got to a good place with this before we got married. And these were all things we talked about openly. I don't know about you all, but I assume so. We talked about this so openly before we even got engaged that by the time we got married,

because people were saying to like, was it awkward on your wedding night? It wasn't awkward on our wedding night. It was awesome. You know, it was like, oh, man, so worth the way. This is so beautiful. This is God's design. We had an amazing, you know, that's all been amazing in marriage. But a lot of that was because we talked a lot about that before we got married.

We dealt with a lot of that before we got married. that was hard to do. That was uncomfortable at times. That was hard to hear from both ends. But it set us up really beautiful for marriage. And so I think like the more honest you can be before marriage, the better you're going, the better marriage you're going to have. And the more open you can be before marriage with confession, whether that's to your

friends, to the person you're going to marriage, to a counselor, man, you're going to be set up so much better for marriage. And so like you don't struggle with it as much. Or if you do, it's just open. It's not hidden. Because I think that's the biggest thing, like not hiding anything. Yes. Because hiding things, you will tend to continue to hide them and dig a deeper hole.

But when it's open, it's just out there. And you're going to struggle, but you confess and you move on, you know. I think it's so important, too, with, like, when we're talking about this, I feel like so many people, the people listening to this, there's probably so many different stages of where you're at, you know? Yeah. Like, there's probably single people listening, married people listening, engaged people listening. Like, there's all of that, I'm sure.

and I don't know what, like, we don't know what the relationship they're even in looks like. And so I would also, like, with what I'm about to say, like, because of how I was pursuing the Lord and Reeves was pursuing the Lord, like, that's why our relationship was how it was. But I'm very thankful even for in our dating relationship, he really was the one who was, like, he led with that in the sense of we are going to be completely open book and honest about everything, pretty much. because I really struggled with that. And so again, for people who were listening who did mess up before and who have messed up, that was having sex before marriage, it messed up a lot of me. Like, it messed up a lot of, like, how I, like, addressed things, how I, it just, it was just the relationships were just wrong.

And so they were handled wrong in every way, you know. And so then being in a relationship where that wasn't even a factor, it was like, I don't know how to handle things correctly because I was handling them all wrong before. And so I truly. had to, like, we had conversations where I was like, I feel like I have to relearn everything about like a relationship when I'd been in plenty of relationships before. I was like, I feel like I have to relearn how to do this the right way. And he really helped every step of the way. But he was the one who started off with being completely open book and vulnerable. And I'm so thankful now.

I was talking to someone the other day, how our relationship truly did and has started off open book. And like, I feel like that's so important in a marriage. And it just is so, because it's just not, you're not meant to carry things on your own. Like you truly are one. And so like you should feel the comfortable space to be fully open with your person, you know? Yep. And so we definitely, in our dating relationships, started off just like, okay, well, here's, here's me, here's who I've been, here's who I am, and here's who I want to be for you, you know? And that was like both sides.

We had multiple conversations. I'm sure y'all did too where you just like sit down and it's like, here it is. And then, I mean, our whole dating. relationship. It just, that was, it just started like that. And Reeves always had like, you could probably speak about it. And then Reeves started singing, because all of me loves all of you. Where did that even come from? You said all of me and it just maybe started thinking of that song. You know, this is kind of funny because this is going to be one of those like probably whatever. But again, I'm just addressing things that people in the world say and putting a truth behind it.

people say like, you know, after you fight, like the sex is the best. You know, it's like, oh, yeah, after a fight or whatever. But I really actually think the truth of that is that when there's vulnerability and honesty and openness, it leads to better intimacy because you're not trying to be intimate with someone that you're hiding something from. And if you're hiding something from, like, that will be felt, you know? And so I think when you're open, when you're honest, it does create a better intimacy because you, that person knows you fully and loves you.

And so when you confess, sometimes you think, this is going to be bad. And it might be hard. You might have a genuinely, like, hard conversation and it might lead to a fight or whatever. But those things lead to greater intimacy because they lead to you knowing that person more, trusting that person more, loving that person more. And so, like, I just want to make sure that we're painting the picture clearly that, like, we're not just saying, like, oh, sex is bad. Like, that's the opposite message we're saying that we're at.

actually saying it's so good. I created it's so beautiful and it's good when you are living fully free and when you're living fully known. And that's what makes it so incredible. Yeah. My life before I started following Christ was just really rough. And I was in a crazy party atmosphere and pornography became a thing when I was like 10 years old. So if you can imagine I'm 27

So it's seven Like 17 years ago Like I mean however long That I was I was watching it multiple times a day And so like you talked about in the story that you said It's a coping mechanism

And so you have to identify it and understand And I would encourage you like if this is something you struggle with And I'm not just talking to guys This is girls too Because there's a statistic that's somewhere around 80% of girls struggle with this. So if you look at clinical studies, like pornography, the dopamine and the serotonin in your brain is so high that it's, one, it's equivalent to, it's either like cocaine or methamphetamine. So the addiction levels are as high as like, that might sound crazy like, I'm never going to do meth.

well, the chemical reaction in your brain is about the same when you're watching porn. So I just say that at first to identify how serious this is and it should be serious to you. When you are watching pornography, it's a coping mechanism. And so when you're dealing with stress or anxiety, trauma, like bad memories, and then, I mean, to be even more specific, like abusive relationship, any kind of wound like that, you're going to run to your go-to coping mechanisms every single time. And so I laid out the context of my history because whenever I started following Christ, I was at LSU whenever I was living this super crazy lifestyle.

And I moved to West Monroe and I started seeing a, I mean, I guess it was a psychologist. And he had an addictive history and like drug addiction. And that's what I was battling, alcohol, drugs, pornography. So I started having to bring all these things alike because I had met Jesus. And I was like, okay, there's some serious, like, I was still falling into these patterns of living. And so that's where I learned all these things that I think. are imperative to know like if you're true like really struggling with pornography and that's lust

included they're kind of hand in hand um you have to know what you're dealing with and so if you think that whenever you get married the problem with pornography is going to be solved because you can have sex it's not true and you may have heard that before but i just want to tell you from experience it's not true and the temptation doesn't just go away ever and i'll be fully honest to say, like, I have to take every single day seriously. And I don't know if you feel the same way. Like, and I have to wake up and I can't be off guard. And that means that I don't have full access to internet. And I, like, just recently, I just felt under attack. And we haven't been, we haven't even had TV because things, like one thing in your mind can lead to another. And the

things that you consume have a huge part into where your mind is going to just kind of autopilot during the day. And so I just wanted, I wanted to go back into that because if you're struggling with that, it needs to be addressed, especially if you're in a relationship that's approaching marriage. Because how do you think, if you, if the way that you deal with stress and anxiety or whatever is running to pornography, how do you think you're going to deal with stress and anxiety and a marriage? Because that's a whole new level of stress. Because now you have somebody that is looking to you to lead. And if you have kids, you have human beings that are relying on you to live.

Like, if you think whatever is going on, I'm not saying things aren't stressful before all that happens in your life. But, I mean, you're going to have to step it up even more. So you got to, like, if you're listening to this and you're struggling with it, like, start talking to somebody now. Like, start making changes in your life now. because I have to wake up every day and just say, you know what, I'm going to seek after the Lord and God be with me and guard me from temptation because I know it's around every corner.

I think that with our culture, that's like, flaunt your body, brag about your sex life, brag about how many people you've had sex with, like, because that is cool and that is this amazing thing. it's so countercultural to hide your body in a sense not fully i mean modesty is so relative to what you believe modesty is yeah but like respect your body respect your marriage respect and honor those things and i think you have to just look at it in such different way like my body do i like why would i want that attention what do i why do i think i want that why do i want all these people that don't even know me to see my body unclothed what what is that gift me. Yeah. But then to think about opposite and be like, actually, I'm going to honor and respect

myself enough that I don't need that kind of attention because that's actually not going to get me what I really want. I actually desire to be respected. I desire to be loved. I desire for people to look at me in the eye and respect what I'm saying. And I also desire for like our marriage to be intimate and like for just us and for like you to see me and me to see you and no one else. Yeah. And like and so I think it's so tempting to want to just flaunt to want to just give, but I think that's whenever we're doing our life for our self, it's so selfish, you know? And selflessness, I think, is really when you get to discover the power of like what love is all about, you know? And so I just think if we would stop for just

a second as people and say like, why do I want to watch porn? Why do I want, like you said, you got to get to the bottom of that. Why do I want to take pictures of myself and send them people. Why do I want to post inappropriate pictures? What do I feel like I need? And am I actually going to get that by doing this? And you can probably get down to the bottom of it and say, no. Yeah. Like I got to switch. I got to switch gears. And so I don't know. I think that when it comes to talking about it openly, yes, in trusted spaces where you genuinely are asking and maybe it's confession, maybe it's asking advice. Maybe it's like, hey, guys, like, do you think this is healthy? Like, yes, open it up. You need that kind of stuff. But also, like, there's a boundary and you don't actually need everyone to know

about that part of your life. It's meant to be sacred. It's meant to be special. It's meant to be intimate. And it's meant to be with one.