WHOA That's Good Podcast - Sadie Robertson Huff's Counselor Stops Her Mid-Interview to Start a Session

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

Sadie is excited to introduce you to her real-life counselor and the mother of two of her very good friends, Terra Tucker! Discernment vs. intuition, making decisions, going through a dark night of the soul — they cover SO much in this conversation and you won't want to miss a second! Terra explains why she starts every counseling session by praying and asking the "Real Counselor" to lead. Sadie and Terra then get into decision-making and why it's okay to delay making big decisions if you're not in a good place, but there may be times you might need to force yourself to make the choice to get yourself unstuck. And no, you CAN'T always trust your feelings when you're making decisions! Plus, Terra shares her "little questions" that will be a valuable tool for you as you navigate changing seasons and big choices! And have you ever felt mad at God for something that's happened? Sadie has and she reveals a moment not too long ago where that was true. Don't miss when Terra then begins an impromptu counseling session to prompt Sadie to go deeper and explore WHY she was mad and what made her resolve it.  https://drinkag1.com/whoa — Get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D & 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! https://www.fabfitfun.com/whoa — Get access to discounts up to 70% off on the biggest name brands. Save 20% off your membership when you join as a NEW seasonal member! https://www.kiwico.com — Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping with code SADIEROB! -- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Download the SiriusXM app and subscribe now to dive into the SiriusXM podcast universe and hear what's possible. Visit SiriusXM.ca for offer details. SiriusXM, Serious XM everything you want to hear lives here What's up, so sears and friends happy Monday everybody. I hope you're having a great start to the week and let me just tell you It's about to get really good because no joke no no false hype up in here This is real hype. This is probably one of the most excited times I've ever had to sit on this couch and do a podcast because I had a very special guest I have missed her a tucker on the podcast today and she is one She's my best friend's mom, which is really sweet. But two, she's also been my counselor for the last few years.

She has set with me many, many hours, taught through some really hard things, watched McCry, laughed with me, hugged me, all the things, and she also did me in Christians' Primero counseling, which is such a blessing to us and got us off on just such a great foot and marriage and still takes our phone calls when we call

Which we're so appreciative of and she is the most loyal person in the world and honestly I knew asking her to do this and make her go oh, I don't know like I don't need to do that I don't care to do that like I'm just your friend. I'm your counselor I'm your person and I appreciate and love that about her so much But I really want to her to come on because I have been so blessed by the wisdom and the truth she spoke of her my life. And I want y'all to get to have a little bit of that today and particularly around the topic of discernment.

So we're gonna get to that later, but before we do, Ms. Tara, so everybody else can get to know you and how wonderful you are. Share a little bit about your life right now, who you are, what you do, all the things. Okay. My life right now.

Well, first I love you. You know that. My daughter could cry because you know I do. But my life right now, well, I'm a me-me. A great mother. Yes, you are. And I'm married to Mr. David with him married for 31 years.

We've got three children. The oldest is 30. And he's married, and he has two children and went on the way. They're so cute. And then your best friends, Sarah, who's married to Martin and Gracie, and so they're all grown, and we've got the kids,

and we've got the dog Franklin. Yeah. And so that's Plenty, all by itself, that's Plenty. But then I'm also, I'm still doing some counseling, and I went back to school just kind of by accident because I was volunteering in prison and they offered a master's program in pastoral care. And so I got to do that and graduated with that last year and so I'm kind of doing a pastoral care

marriage and family therapy counseling bit under the umbrella of being a pastor. So I do that a few hours a week and then I'm trying to work on or we've almost finished just a little study that kind of takes people through what we did in counseling. Yeah. For people who might never go to a counselor. So we're working on that and and I think that's plenty to be doing trying to be a good mom. Yeah so doing those things right now. That's a lot. I love it so much.

I just wanted people to get to know your heart, because I know your heart is so family, and it's so just for the Lord and his people. And it's what I love about you. It's just so sweet. You volunteer your time in so many spaces, and you've done so many great things. So how long have you been counseling people?

15 years. 15 years. I had to count it this year. I needed it. I needed it for something. I was like, oh, 2008, 15 years. That's a lot of counseling. That's a lot of sitting with people.

It's a lot of sharing stories. You know what people's life speaking into it. What do you feel like 15 years you've learned just in general about people? Has there been anything that just stands out overall? Just what you learned about people in general about people. Has there been anything that just stands out overall, just what you learned about people in general? Yeah. I think that we're all more like than we are different.

I always say that we all need Jesus seriously. And that if when you hear people's stories because I love to hear people's stories, that's one of my favorite things. And when you hear their stories from people who are doing really well to people in prison, I mean, like from all different demographics, you go, yeah, by the grace of God,

had I lived that exact story in that exact environment, I could have been in the exact same place. You don't judge people. You just realize how big God is and how innately all are. Yeah, of him. Yep, that's the truth. Well, I had a feeling we were going to say that.

And it's because whenever I sit with you, one thing you always say to me is like, you're not going to surprise me. Like, you're not going to shock me. And I think that's because you've heard it all. Like, you've heard people's stories. You've heard where they're coming from. And what it's made you do is judge people less,

not judge people more. And I think that's really do is judge people less, not judge people more. And I think that's really beautiful that you can hear so many people's stories at the end of the day, instead of being more judgmental, because you're like, man, these people crazy. You're less judgmental because you're like, I can understand why everybody would make those decisions or be where they're at,

because of where they come from or the life that they're living and what that can breed. And so I just think that's really beautiful. And I love how, this is probably my favorite thing about you as a counselor, is that every single time I've ever had a session with you, you've always started it in prayer. And you say, let's let the real counselor lead. You talk a little bit about that. That's the real counselor.

Yeah. Okay. That's and and it's part of why I love that now there's the pastoral care that I can umbrella the marriage and family therapy because I worked with a church for about eight years like on their property not not exactly on staff but I was who they sent everybody to on their property. Yeah. And so I was kind of the church counselor and and then I tried it separate and you know and I could hang the plaque I have the same master's degree that people take insurance with and I have nothing against that I think that's wonderful but with the way and people can be spirit led and be doing that I always want to make sure that's clear but the way that God has me do it the way that I've seen

God work and I always look at it as God is always at work. And so when people come in and say me, God's already at work in their life. God loves them, God is for them, and He's already at work. So what I get to do is join God where God's already at work. School with the people that He already loves and He knows what's best for them. School. And so I always pray. And I learned this. I tried to not for a while because I was like, yes, get the lessons. Take the insurance. Yeah. But God had called me to ministry and not that it can't be ministry with it. But I knew the way that God was leading me

was that God is Holy Spirit is the real counselor. And so in every session, it's important to me that we invite the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit, to be the Holy Spirit, to be the counselor that he is. It's cool. And in that, I've seen more than I could have ever imagined if I sat there and tried to do it all on my own, still using the real theories, the real techniques, the real therapy practices that I know work,

not just going, oh, let's just see how we're led today. Never that. I mean, it's in context. Ethics are so important to me. Like, I'm sticking to ethics. Confidential unless somebody says harm to sell for others. I don't care who you are. If you say that, then we have to get your help.

But so all of that's done in real therapy practice. What I do different is the Holy Spirit is the real counselor. And so I'm just helping the Holy Spirit right there with people. And wherever they are in their spiritual journey, like to some people they may hear Holy Spirit and that might be like, I don't know about that. To other people, that's just their constant. They're just tethered, they abide with the Holy Spirit. And that's just a part of who they are. Yeah. I make it to where either way, that's who I'm working with while using the real therapeutic techniques.

And that's why I love the pastoral care as an umbrella. That way it can be combined. Mm-hmm. I love that. Well, one thing that's really cool about that, and I love that you said that you can do that no matter what context you're in, which is so true and so beautiful. One thing that I've experienced with the Holy Spirit leading with you and in front of

you is this. And I think this is like the difference in just walking into, you know, any counselor and walking into one that is spirit led. And this can be anybody and anybody's job is a ship. But there have been times where I've said, hey, we need to talk and if you have time and I know you're letting the Holy Spirit lead and you'll pray for us at the beginning. And before we even talk, you will already say, like you already have had books that you thought about that week for us that came to your heart and mind.

You will have thought about a word that you wanted to share with us. And it's always like so specific to exactly what we were coming here to talk to you about, but you didn't know. We hadn't told you. And I think that's the beautiful thing about working with the Holy Spirit is like, God knows me more than you ever can. And I always see about that when I'm speaking to people like, literally this morning I was praying for conference next week. And I was like, God, you know those to people like literally this morning I was praying for conference next week

And I was like God you know those 3000 people more than I ever will and so as I prepare this message If there's any insight that you can give me into who I'm talking to then help me to write words that will speak to them And in ways that only you would know so that when I say it they know you heard their prayer And it's so cool because when I speak, I'm speaking, I don't know who I'm talking to, but then after though, they'll be like, when you said this, and it's normally like the thing that I added that felt random to me, that was the Holy Spirit prompted.

And that's what you do. And when I am always shocked, but not a shot, I'm like, I can't believe you thought of that or that book because that's exactly what I need. So I just wanted to make that clear because some people might be saying, how does that even work? Like, what is the Holy Spirit's role in all that?

Why would you need the Holy Spirit? But I love that it's because like the Holy Spirit knows us more than anyone and he's leading us in guiding our life. And so being able to ask God to give us insight for other people is a beautiful way to love people and show them the love of the Father. And I get to know it's not me. Yeah. I'm not that smart. Take the pressure. I'm not that smart.

Nobody is. Yeah. And so and and I could miss it. Like I could say and you can go that's a silly book. Yeah. But but when it is as as led by God and and saying God loves you in Christian. As much as I love God loves you more. As much as you have a love for the people who will come to the conference God loves to make them more yeah, and so it's it's like an interesting yeah Just and just trying to be trustworthy and listen to God But there've been many times that in different situations where I'm gonna find no And to whatever degree people know or don't know and Then God gets all the glory.

But God gave us the Holy Spirit. Like Jesus said, I'm going away. Yeah. But the Holy Spirit's with us as believers. And so, and those are hearts. And again, knows where God's already at work. And so I just love to watch God work. Like that's exciting for me.

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Go to drinkag1.com slash woe. Again, that's drinkag1.com slash woe to check it out today. It is so exciting. And then like at the end of a session or for me at the end of preaching, I'm gonna tear that. It's like, that is so cool. And it strengthens your face. You're like, God, I can't believe like you did that through me. Yeah, I wasn't thinking that. I'm not that smart. I didn't think I didn't come up with that. Like that's like the coolest thing. And it really does get got all the glory for that person and for you. And so it's that's key in the work right there. So I mentioned that we want to talk about discernment and this was something

So for those of you who are listening who sent and questions through Instagram a lot of y'all send in stuff to the woods could podcast account And we actually read those and we listen and we want to like talk about topics that you're struggling with or you need Advice in and a lot of people talked about discernment and as soon as I saw that I was like, okay, I really wanna have this conversation and I wanna have it with Ms. Tara, because I remember one of the first times I came to you

and I was like really upset about a situation and I share with you, I just don't have good discernment. And it was because I was told by somebody I didn't have good discernment, which made me feel like, I guess somebody I didn't have good discernment, which made me feel like, I guess I just don't have good discernment. And then I just continued to make these decisions and being in these relationships,

thinking like, oh, if only I had good discernment or the gift of discern, or whatever that is. And I'm like, how do I even do that? And I should remember you really encouraging me and really sharing with me. And what I kind of gathered from all that was, actually I did have discernment. It's just I didn't trust myself

because I have been told that I didn't have that which was kind of manipulative and confusing to me. And so it kind of knocked me off of thinking I did have good discernment and it made me confuse about every decision I was making every relationship I was in. So I know she would never share that because all of our conversations are private,

but I'll share that with you so that you know, I've struggled with that too. Like, discernment is a hard thing. Sometimes it is hard to make decisions and know if it's the Lord or know if this is a good thing and whatnot. And I think sometimes our lack of confidence in our discernment can call us such a crippling like anxiety.

It can cause us to not do anything. And so that's why I think it's really important we talk about discernment in general. Whenever I just bring up discernment, just the overall topic, what are some things to you that just start to come to mind? Well, because I'm a geek, I'm like, well, let's define it. Let's just start right there at the beginning. And it's a knowing. Like what is disarmament? It's a way of knowing.

And so we bring that into our Christian life. How can we disarm in our Christian life? And so we have the Holy Spirit. We need disment. There are all kinds of decisions all the time with a humility of, I don't know. Like in that kind of great. That's good. And we ask God. We ask God for wisdom. But I think in having discernment, it's okay that an 18 year old doesn't know anymore than an 18 year old nose.

Yeah. Why would they? Yeah? Why would they or a 20 year old or a 25 or a 51? Why would I know more than I know and so we we come with that humility of only God is all-knowing and even instead of it being a confidence in disarmament, what if we shift that to a confidence in the God? That's good. Who gives disarmament? That's good.

Now we've just taken it all off humanity. Yes. And we put it back to God who is all knowing, all capable, everywhere, all the time, loves his kids and wants to give it to us. Great. And so I think the easiest way to say, God, give me wisdom, Give me wisdom and discernment. That's great. Help me in this decision Now the gift of discernment. Yeah, some people have it. I think it's wonderful when people have it I have some friends who have it. I've also known a lot of people who thought they had it and they were just really intuitive

This is good. This is good. With the Myers-Briggs I'll give people that it's all personality test, but it's my favorite. I love it. It will always be my favorite. There are numbers. You can see the what degree. I used to call it the real personality test. The Lord can make me, I should be sweeter and make green for more.

Because so many things can be beneficial. But with the Myers-Briggs, there's a section on how you take in data, how you go throughout this world, how you gather information. Some people are intuitive. They make every decision based on a hunch. They just kind of have a feeling. They can be 20 different people. They're probably going to have a different feeling about all 20 different people because they're very intuitive. Yeah. Which is great. Other people are sensing facts. Yeah. Can I see it?

Can I hear it? They said they'll be here, but are they here? I don't know. I don't know if I trust that, but it's based on facts. So we got feelings. We got facts. Here's the joke. The counselor joke.

Sometimes when people have a feeling about everything, they're bound to be right. Because they've had a feeling about everything. That's not necessarily discernment. Because discernment in the spiritual sense is from the Holy Spirit. So when you take the discernment from the Holy Spirit, the gift that is, and God gives to us wisdom. And I believe we can all have some discernment. I've had people before who they just, they say, oh, my buzzer's going off and I fuck, maybe you need to have your ears checked.

If your buzzer's always going off, but my buzzer's not always going off. This is good. Or I've just got a feeling. Now sometimes absolutely, and I need those people, I want you to have those people. But if somebody's always got a feeling and it doesn't often line up, they might just be intuitive and we've all got to know

our hearts can be so deceptive. Like we can have feelings about things and people and we can be wrong. Now that doesn't mean we don't have the gift of disarmament. Yeah. It just means we need to be humble with it. That's good. We need to be humble in asking. We need to be humble in receiving. That's good. And then we need to be able to test it by does this line up with God?

Yeah. And does it not? Yeah. In humility. That's great. That's what makes sense. Oh my gosh, that makes so much sense. This is such a good start already.

And I remember when we did the Myers-Brigton. I was 12 and 12 for thinking and feeling. which made me make so much sense on why sometimes I get so stuck because I'm like I feel this but these are the facts and this and that and that's how you make your decisions. Yes, and I go back and forth on all of those different things and think through everything for a long time but one thing and I want to get to that later about just like thinking through things for so long you're not getting stuck in that thing. It wasn't actually being able to decide because for instance I think there's probably a lot of people listening to this because primarily people who will

Suspike gasser in their 20s and 30s Well, I guess I'd say upper teens 20s and 30s. It's typically 18 to 35 Roads are as our biggest audience and that's like a big decision making time for life. It's huge. And I feel like so many of us are like, what does God want us to do next? What career path of waste to take? Are we supposed to have kids right now? Is it time to get married?

Is it time to move? Is it time to stay? Is it time to do this? And it's like these big decisions that we have to make. And sometimes it can be so hard to make a decision because you feel like, what if I make the wrong decision? And we talk about this a lot on the podcast. And I'm like, you know, you're not gonna mess up God's plan

if you're following him. If you're listening to him, if you're hearts in the right place, it's not like always say, it's not like if you go to Alabama, you know, and God's gonna be at LSU, like, go Tigers, you missed it. Like, God's not like that, you know Like he's everywhere, but the same time like let's just stop here for a second and talk about just making decisions And not getting stuck and that like waiting stage and not doing anything with your life

And then later I want to come back to the whole idea that you were just talking about and get to the fact of why we can't always Trust our feelings because that is a really good point. So let's stop here for a second and talk about how do we actually make a decision and how do we discern if it's the Lord and how to move forward. Okay. In making a decision, I would tell people, first, I'm all, I'm, because it's just silly not to. Yeah.

And so you're making a decision and I would say, ask God, what do you want for me? In solution-focused therapy would say ask God, what do you want from me? In solution focus therapy, we ask therapists, what do you want? And Jesus asked the blind man, what do you want? So you have to acknowledge. And then what are you willing to do is the second part of that. What does it look like? What are you willing to do to get things? That's good.

I like that. I think a great way of making a decision is to do it backward, except put the emphasis on God. Instead of you answering the questions, you ask God, what do you want? Now you're doing that, you're trying to make the decision. Okay, when you have a feeling and then maybe it may be that God's like, what do you want? You know, because God puts desires in your heart. And so if desires line up with who God is, it doesn't go against who God is, it doesn't go against his will or his way, who's to say the desire is he's put in your heart, if he's put in there, or not also his.

And so you've got that kind of back and forth, but you've brought God into it. That way you're not having to loop back around. Right. And okay, does this lineup with God? Yeah. So you've already brought God into that first part. And so what do you want? You're asking, you've got this desire, okay?

I would say, does it line up with God? You have this initial desire and this, whether it's to make it to this place or that. Here are a few little questions, I'll ask people. Does however you're feeling led lead you to have greater faith, greater hope, and greater love and Christ. Does it lead you towards God? Does it make you bright? It doesn't mean it's the easy decision, but does it increase your faith? Does it fill you with hope? Does it make you love God and people making God's image even more?

Does it push you in that direction? You mentioned a minute ago that something felt manipulative. That's not God. That's not God. God who is love, love is patient, love is kind. Like you can even kind of litmus test that. Okay, you have that same decision. You can ask yourself, does it lead me to have less faith,

less hope, less love? does it paralyze me? It's good. Does it push me? If it's not God and so you take and it's just fake hope with love, that's why I like that test. That's cool. But then you ask yourself and greater could be God, looks like God, less, that's not God. Yeah. Is it life giving? Does it add life to your life? Is it life taking? Sin will's not God. Yeah. Is it life giving? Does it add life to your life?

Is it life taking? Sin will be life taking. Yeah. Like, you know, I just, I just want to sleep with my boyfriend before, before we're married because I just want to. And we just love each other and, and the butterfly landed. And I'm so, so they're better flies. That's lovely.

But does that line up with what God would want for you? Yeah. God's willing. God's right. Does that, does that lead you to a closer relationship with God or does it pull you away from God? Does it acelate you? Aren't there secrecy?

That's not God. That's good. Where there's freedom, where there's courage, where there's grace. Now it doesn't mean it's the easier decision, but in whatever decision is it taking me towards God or is it pulling me away from God and the things of God? I love that. And also take the entirety of the narrative of scripture. And whatever decision is it taken me towards God, or is it pulling me away from God and

the things of God? And also take the entirety of the narrative of Scripture. God is always at work, bringing His children back to Himself, always, and doing, redeeming, and doing the works of the enemy, redeeming, rebuilding, giving hope. Like, that's what God's doing. And He's bringing His kids back to Him. Does it line up with that? If it's no, I'm just going to, this word drives me nuts. I'm going to day-constra,

well, I'll wrap, darling. I mean, that's, I would say, okay, okay. And then tell me what you're doing in that. And this is what I would tell people. I pray you find that God is bigger. Because I promise you, when you get to the end of yourself and every out of us falls, God is bigger. And sometimes people will argue, but Scripture says this and Scripture says, well, that's God's word to us, but God's bigger than even that. God's bigger than whatever argument of that. So I would always go, does it lead you towards God? Faith, hope, love is just simple.

Those three, but really the character of God, that everything of God, and everything that comes with it peace, or does it lead you away from God? It's great. Because if it does, lead you away. That's not God. That's so good. That's how you can go.

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to join FabFitFun today and save at FabFitFun.com slash woe. Again, that's FabFitFun.com slash woe wh o a. That is so good and so helpful. And I love how you mentioned in there. You know, sometimes they're like, well well I'm sleeping with my boyfriend but the butterfly fell on this and that. I think sometimes we can't even manipulate the situation and be like, well this, this is God even though it's so not lining up with anything that's true, anything that's

biblical because we're like, well this happened on this day at this time and oh we got to know that and then this butterfly landed and God made the butterflies and we start like putting all of these signs what we view as signs and we're like oh well this is God saying to me that it's okay but God whatever God speaks to you like those who speaks it's going to line up with scripture. It's always gonna be an alignment with who you've done as always been in scripture and so I do think that sometimes we get all carried away and we're like, oh, but it's okay, God's still in it because I see all these signs, but it's like, if you are living like the act, so the sinful nature,

then like that is clear, the sinful nature. Like God is not in that. There is a godly life and there is a sinful life. There is a path of life and there is a path of death. And then it even says, and then, probably there's like, there is a godly life and there is a sinful life, there is a path of life and there is a path of death. And then it even says in Proverbs, like there is a path that seems right to him and in the end it leads to death. So it might be like, oh, this is fine because I haven't been struck by lightning, you know, there's a terrible way to think about it. That God's not going to strike you down because you're doing so wrong. God loves

you. His heart is for you. He wants to be in relationship with you, but he also desires for you to be on the path of life, right? And the path of godliness and so some don't convince yourself that it is God when it's so wrong and does not line up with scripture at all because of these signs or because you seem to be doing well or seem to be doing fine. And I think that sometimes, if we're doing well and we're doing fine, but we live in sinful lives and we think it's fine because nothing's happened, like that's a false way of looking at it because why would, why would the enemy come actually, you know, why would you face aversion like that much if you're just like, if you're living in sin

because you're just like, maybe the enemy doesn't even see you as a threat. So maybe even that you should be like, hello, maybe it's not good that I'm just so comfortable, you know. But I love what you said about faith, hope, and love and that's so simple. But I also want to ask about this because I think this is something too when it comes to like, sometimes we say it's a Lord and we proceed with things even though it's not right. I think that some people have been hurt by people who say this is the Lord, but it's like in them doing

what they feel the Lord's saying to do, it's hurtful to another person. Does that make sense? Like people make decisions sometimes. It's like the classic I break out with you when it's like this is with Lord said and then it's like oh well that hurts me or or it's like God didn't say that to me you know those kind of things how do you navigate that when someone's saying something to you or they're saying this is what the Lord said but it's so hurtful to you on the other end of it. It's like sense it just thought about that. That's perfect. Because I've had that happen to me a few times in life, and I think that we like, we might do things in faith, hope and love, but then we forget to love people and honor people, and then it's hard

because then it makes that other person feel like they weren't loved by God in the decision-making process. Yes, and that matters. Yeah. It matters to God how we treat other image bears. And so if, boy, you won't be careful with that stuff. I mean, that's just the truth. And because you don't want to spiritually manipulate

anybody, it's deeply hurtful. And people carry it a long, long time. And I've just worked with churches and long enough to go, oh yeah, that one's hard. And I don't think God takes kindly to it. It's, you know, it's, it's a way of misusing. It's a misuse of power, but it's a misuse of spiritual power. And so that, that's really serious.

You go back to how do we know? And I would say, my sheep know my voice. That's good. Jesus says that, how do you know anybody's voice, that close relationship? That close relationship. That's great. And so with that, you do you know anybody's voice, that close relationship, that close relationship? That's great. And so with that, you're knowing God more, say we've shifted it all back to God, knowing

God more, knowing God's voice more, now we know we can know the character of God through Scripture. And so you have to, and I've heard it called like a post-truth era, all these things, I don't know if you've ever there saying the movie because I'm older, but it was in a courtroom and he yells, you can't handle the truth. I did recently just hear about this whole courtroom. Okay, can I just pause for one thing?

Cause this is hilarious. Matt Chaylor preached this in a sermon, did the whole, you can't handle the truth. I didn't know it was a movie. I'm sitting there going, this happened, this is crazy, like Christian, we need to go look up this after and he's like, baby That's a movie. I'm so glad you're standing there. Yeah, it's a great line. Yes, here's the truth

I don't know how well folks are doing without it. Yeah, that's true like you can't handle That's true people aren't doing so well and so and even people who say God told me You better be sure it's God. And it better align with God. And the way you're presenting it, it spits your truth and love. You better be loving, which is a God pay, which is in the best interest of the other person. And if you're saying it to him in a way that it could destroy them, is that their best interest?

Yeah. So is that God? Yeah. And when you're on the other end of it, you can look at it and you've got to be able to go, what's that God? That's not what I feel with God. That's not what I see with God. That doesn't line up with Scripture. That doesn't line up with my walk with God. And you get to say, I receive that or I don't. You have the right, according to Christ and you, the hope, the hope of glory, holy spirit in you. If it doesn't line up with God's character, if it doesn't line up with God's words,

zap it immediately. But like someone even saying, you don't have discernment. I would go, did you think of her and what that might do to her? Yeah. If someone said to her, she didn't have that.

Was that God? Or was that kind of handled loosely and lightly and flippantly? Because I don't know that God's children should be with any spiritual authority on someone, treated loosely, lightly, flippantly, and left with something that's left them questioning themselves and their relationship with God. So just the motives of the heart. Yeah, that's so good. And you were talking about sin, here's the thing, repent,

repent. Which is really, sin separates us, come back to God. It doesn't have to be this big bad thing. We talked about it a little bit before, and how I was pregnant before I was married, and I wouldn't even pray for myself. Like I thought I was so bad

and I had been such a goody to shoes. It was probably the best thing that ever happened to me getting pregnant as far as letting, I mean, just the whole real confession. But for a couple years, I wouldn't even pray for myself. Now in a cute, wonderful, only Jesus side note. I would pray that Lord, if you'll just bless him and let him be smart, don't let him be left behind because he has a teenage mom. I was engaged. We moved the wedding up. I tried not to marry my husband

because I didn't want him to marry me because I was pregnant. Even though I was already engaged to him, it's called neurosis. I was being neurotic. I was actually like 19-year-old, crazy woman. David Tucker, best thing that ever happened to me. That's awesome. So we have this baby, we raise him. I'm constantly saying, God, I need you wisdom. I need you to show me, you wonder what? I didn't know what the Lord was doing. And so it was that from my heart, honest, God, God helped me with this.

Will's a heart surgeon now. So God did not leave him behind. That's awesome. Which is so sweet, or he's doing his fellowship for it. That's awesome. But like, he, God didn't skip him on brains. And I gave him a little extra just to go. And I saw that too.

That's awesome. But when I finally came back to God, when I finally realized that when I, because I thought it was the ultimate sin, I mean, and whatever I say that as I've had my baby, and know there could be someone watching who didn't have their baby. God forgive, Sect too. God forgive that too.

Yep, that's right. God forgive. And I've sat with many women who've solved. Cryed their eyes out. I said, I can't believe. Told me 30 years later. I was the first person they ever told. God forgive.

That's right. Now the pain's there and it was not God's will. I mean, like with my baby, God intended for the sperm to meet the egg. Can we say that? I don't know. I'm saying, girl. But God intended, how do we know there was a baby? Now, there were consequences.

Things were a little harder. We were young, starting out had a child, children cost money. But God intended that child and that child's a gift. Yeah. My son got intended for me to just repent and come home. Right. Just come back to and his love never changes, even in the midst of sin. That's it. It's going to hurt you. And loving God, you want to not be simple. Like you, you don't want anything separate in you from God. You don't want anything separate

in you from here in the Holy Spirit from from that closeness. But when there is my word, just repent, come back, turn from it, and come back. Don't get stuck there. It's good. I'm so glad you shared that. I was hoping that you would share that because I think that some people, they might could hear you and be like,

well, she's just wonderful. And she just, you know, is so wise. And one day I'll be like that. I love how you're like, no, I was a night two-year-old crazy person and I was pregnant and didn't wanna get married and didn't even wanna pray for myself and all this stuff. And I love the man. Yes.

But I was like, you're not gonna marry me because I'm pregnant. Yeah. In a way we're engaged. I mean, I just think you know, I did like a crazy show. Yeah. But God. But God.

But God, in the beautiful family we have now. Yeah. But God, and God wants to do stuff. Everybody now. Yeah, but God and God wants to do stuff. Everybody there in that shame in that feeling of I carried it. Yes. And I just but I love how you're sitting here now and you're not carrying anymore. Right. You have this beautiful family and there's been so much redemption because you didn't get stuck that you can't move in with God. I mean so many of us would just qualify ourselves and be like,

well this was my life. I can't be a pastor. I can't do this. It's like, no, like, look at the people in the Bible. They all were messed up and crazy. They all were simple, but they were painted and they turned back to me. We are all, all of us right here, me, sinful person, constantly falling short of the glory of God. Good thing he said, all will do that. But just repent and turn and I love how you share that too. Like, whatever you think the worst sin is, there's no worse sin and at the same time, like it doesn't matter. There's no measure that God's already covered it all by His blood. And I was at a women's conference recently and a retreat and it was like a more intimate

retreat. So, you know, you get a little bit more real, and there's probably about 70 women or something, and they asked like, if you have like, had an abortion, but they did it in such like a really awesome way, where you kind of filled out a paper of some things that you sure would, but nobody knew who filled out what. And then the volunteers took our papers, and then it said like, stand up, it was like, stand up if you had this, this is, but it wasn't the actual person that did it

That had to stand up. They were standing in our place just so we could see who's in the room of like what we're struggling with But you didn't know who it actually was right and like when they said abortion like it was like a lot of the room But there's no shame nobody knew who it was Well then later there was like open room to kind of talk through some things. And most every woman had never shared that with anyone. And it was their first time to just fill the freedom because they knew other people in the room had done that before. And the amount of love and just like grace that was showered and just being able to sit with a sister who had been through the same thing. And just encourage when I would speak life

everyone and other. It was so beautiful and I just felt like in that room so many people got unstuck. You know, it was like, they're actually getting to walk in freedom and they're covered in grace and God loves them and like it redeems them and it was just really beautiful. And so I'm glad that you shared that

because yes, like sometimes in our life, like we can talk about折ment all day long, we can talk about asking God for wisdom, but we're still going to mess up. We're still going to miss the mark. We're still going to fall, but like be quick to repent, you quick to turn. And that would be, is that the will of God? Yes. And in the moment you go, oh, but but then I have to, yes, you go in that moment and God forgive me for it and you're there and and you would rather avoid it But that's one of those where you go. Oh, I don't that doesn't necessarily feel good. Oh, but it is God's will It does it lead you closer to God. Yes

So that's that's you No God no is voice get to know the more that you have Experiencing with God and I'm not saying a butterfly here, or, but I'm saying, aligns with God's word, you feel nudges. We, I've talked to the girls about it a little bit, you know, mom, how did you know? I don't know, but I always just kind of felt a little nudge.

Once I had asked Jesus to be my savior. There was just a little knowing. Yeah. And sometimes we'll get it wrong. And the thing is, when we get it wrong, God can get it back right? Like God will get us. We're God in the state of the heart. It's all about the heart. Sends about the heart, the motive of the heart. Repentance is about the motive of the heart. Look, it's about the motive. So is faith in hope. The motive of the heart

that's great. From the heart. And so although our hearts can be deceptive, God's can't. That's good. God can't not be God. The Scree. God can't not be good. Now does that mean that we don't need to repent or everything's okay or he's not a also a judge? No, but it's all in love in his goodness that he's all those things. Scree. For our good. Scree. So we want our discernment with that really is we want to be in his wheel. That's good. So we're just going God, show me the way. Some people have a little extra praise Jesus, but we can all have it. So as you guys know, we have two little ones in the house. Honey is two and just loves all things. Activity and Haven is just so sweet and just not really finding her hands and wanting to play and hitting those new milestones

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Oh, gosh, it's so encouraging. Everyone listening to this, I hope you're just encouraged by that. So I'm taking the pressure off yourself and just trusting God. And if you don't know God, maybe it's a good time to get to know Him. And I just want to say to you, like, one thing that's cool about God is we talk about these butterflies landing. And here's the cool thing about God. God can do that. And he does do that.

It's wonderful. In fact, we recently had a moment, me and Sarah were talking. And we had something happen that was just the most beautiful gift of God and it came through a red robin. And so I say that to say I've experienced that. And that is one of the most wonderful like God kisses that you can have in these days. But that is so beautiful and wonderful when it lines up with who you know God is and it lines up a scripture. But if you have that happen and you're still living that life within and you're using that to affirm it, you still want to have peace when you lay your head down at night. I think that's the difference.

Like, if you see a butterfly in this moment and you're still living and you're like, oh, well, good, that's God affirming. You're just telling yourself that and trying to manipulate that situation. When you go to bed at night, you'll know. You know, because you don't have peace. But if you go to bed at night and you'll know. You know, because you don't have peace. But if you go to bed at night and you have peace, and you're like, you know what, like today, I got to see God through a butterfly at the right time. Yes.

And it lined up perfectly with the prayers I've been praying. Line up so good with scripture. And I know that I know that that was the Lord. Then take it, take it, let it be an encouragement to you. Let it remind you that God sees you and is in your story. So I just want to say, God does do that. You will do that. Absolutely. But sometimes we can manipulate that. And I think like, Miss Herodosis felt me because I've experienced this. Like, I am so, so against spiritual manipulation in any way, shape and form. I'm so careful about breaking down

these conversations, all of the conversations we have on our podcast, because I'm like, I don't just want to say, flip it like they're all out, God doesn't God that. And then some of you not understand what I'm saying or hear what I'm saying. So that's why I'm like, this is not about manipulation. God is so good. He is so powerful. His word is so life-giving.

I want to make sure you get it straight. I want to make sure that this is not manipulated, that you see God for the heat. It really is, because it's so much better than anything we could fabricate him to be. So you talked about you can't handle the truth, and you were like, how are we doing without it? Who? Hello, we need this. How is the world doing without it? Not so well. Not so well.

Not so well. Let's talk about truth for a minute, because earlier you talked about how some of us we might go with our intuition and feelings, and sometimes our feelings just lie to us. They don't take us down a good path or direction, and sometimes it can feel easier to trust our feelings and the trust of truth because the truth might sting a little bit more, but what's the importance of truth in our life as a guide? Well, and feelings aren't bad. God gave us feelings.

So, they're not the enemy, but they don't need to be what we make our decisions based on. And I would even go back up and ask yourself, anybody, how you doing? Are you in a place where you're walking closely with the Lord? They call it consolation or desolation, like in the fancy words, but it just means, are you walking closely with God? And then I would even go, okay, mentally, are you doing okay? Is you know, could there be some depression? Is anything going on? Are you sick? Do you have the flu? Nobody makes their best decisions on a flu bed. Like, no

body, because you don't feel good. Even Even the most part of it. Yes, exactly. Yes, and I dealt with some depression for a little bit, made me a really good counselor, but it was no fun at the time, and I didn't need to be making long-term decisions from that place, but I didn't know that. And so ask yourself, kind of test yourself, like, where am I really, how am I doing? And so if you're in a place where you are great with God, then okay, check that off. Like, I'm good.

I mean, I'm not perfect. Nobody's perfect. But Jesus, only Jesus is whole, which can also be peace. But, you know, and having peace is not the absence of problems. It's just Jesus. It's good. It's Jesus's peace. Great.

Over whatever failings. But we do need to ask ourselves how am I doing? Am I in a place where I need to, and take some time. Very few things have to be done, but they do have to be done. The decision does have to be made or you do get stuck. And so, and even stuck in your own confusion and confusion is never from God. God is clear. God is truth. God is light. Like all the things that would bring clarity and you would know is God, that's God. It's good. Confusion, doubt, overly fearful. Now, it's all kind of a fright of a snake. Snakes can, I mean, like you're

kind of silly if you don't jump when you see one. Like we should all jump if we, or a mouse or whatever it might be. So that's, you know, that, it warns us. It says, get back. But if we are consumed by looking back, we can, we can have regret looking forward. We can, we can, what if, what if, what if we can find peace in that present moment. So, so when we're still and go, okay, God and start with how am I doing? Am I in a place where I can make a decision more than likely yes, because you're saying, okay, God in mind a place. If not, get whatever help.

Talk with somebody, be in prayer, be honest. What we acknowledge, then we can get better from what we acknowledge. So if you're in a bad place, you know, let somebody know if somebody needs to talk to a counselor, see a doctor, whatever it may be, yes, God is the healer. Jesus is our healer first, but sometimes we need

little extra help and that's okay So get yourself to that well-being place and then from there go okay I need to have peace with this. I need to I need to make this decision So yeah, you're in a good place and then you kind of test the spirits from that good place that place where you feel like yeah Me and Jesus we we can do this, we can make this decision and then go, does it line up with God? Does it line up with truth? Is it life giving? Is it what? Because God loves us in our best interest. That doesn't mean everything's going to feel good, but let's say if it's something simple or not, it's not going to be in your best

interest. We could go to gossip. Gossiping is not really in anybody's best interest. And so you're just kind of testing, is this God from the place of where you're walking closely with God? There are seasons where anybody can feel distant. Often it's sin separating us. Sometimes it's just a season can be caused by any of the physical emotional, like can be caused from that, or can just be like some people call like a dark night at the soul, where people just, they, they may, it's gonna pass. That's what they've got to know.

It's gonna pass because God hadn't left. You're just going through something. But that's not the place to make your decisions. So you get back to that good, peace, whole place, and only Jesus' whole. It's good. We don't have to try to be whole or have it all together. It's good. Jesus' whole, what we have to have is Jesus in the present moment. It's good.

To gain our peace. That's good. And bring him in and from that place, make decisions. I love that. That's so good and that's so helpful for me, especially, because I get so busy and like going, going, going and and I had a moment recently where we just had like a really bad start to the morning like we had a tragedy in our community and it was really really hard and I was just trying to go to the next thing next thing like crazy and then um Steph was like you need

to go sit with the Lord that's what you need to do and what and just set to me like where I really feel like if I need to sit with where I and just said to me, like where I really, like if I need to sit with her, I have to go to my rocking chair, which I'm such a grandma. I love it. I love it. It's like me just being intentional

about sitting with her. Like I taught to go out all the time. I taught to my car drives whenever, I mean, especially if you have kids sometimes, like you don't just have like the rocking chair morning, so you know, like you used to, or maybe that you want to. But for me, like if it's like a moment

that I'm like, I have to sit with Lord, like Christian knows. If I go to my rocking chair, he's like, are you okay? Like, it's good, good sit with Lord, you know? And I just sat with God and I like repositioned that day just to be in alignment with him. Like I cannot take another step without lying with you.

I gotta be honest, I was mad about what happened in our community because it felt like, God, why didn't you stop that? Why didn't you do something? So before I tried to just be like, all right, Jesus me and you, I'm like, why? Like, you know, not that you're gonna get the answers to your why, but even just talking it out to God

and just being like, I'm so frustrated, but as I don't understand why you would do that, and just being in relationship, and then finally, like as I'm so frustrated, but as I don't understand why you would do that, you're just being in relationship. And then finally, like, as I work through the frustrations with the Lord, I've set there in silence, and I'm just like, had nothing else to say. I was looking around and where we live, it's really beautiful, because it's Louisiana, you know, I'm biased, I love Louisiana, I love the state, and with water and front of us, and the birds were chirping, and it was such a beautiful day.

The sky was so blue. And as I just got quiet and I'm somatic, I started realizing everything around me was created by him. And I was just like, okay, yeah. You know, you're still good. And just worked it out with me into the point that when I left the writing show

at day, me and God were good. So I knew like, because I didn't go to work that day. Like I wasn't coming into work to make all these decisions for people that are listening to this podcast. I mean, I wasn't coming on doing an interview, mad at God, I'm frustrated and all this stuff, like I took the time to sit so that I could be in a good head space to leave. And man, I literally had so many praise last week, I just like, guy, like, with what I'm leading right now with conference with this podcast, with this platform.

Like, I don't wanna do anything if I'm not following you. I don't wanna say a word about it. You know, so with you here from you, like, you know, you carry that burden. But for me, and what everything we've talked about, I think is so beautiful, is the pressure comes off you when you sit with the Lord. The pressure comes off you when you give it to God.

Whenever he is really leading your life, you don't have as much pressure to lead. And if I didn't have like, personally, because some of you might be listening, you're like, this is really good advice, but I don't live a galley life. I don't walk with the spirit like, why is this a better life? Like for me, I know I could not do this. It would be too hard.

It would be too overwhelming. It would be too crushing. It would be so hard. But with God leading in my life, I can confidently step in. Not because I'm confident in me not because I'm confident in me because I'm confident in him and And what he can do through me and I love that God trust himself enough to like work in our lives Knowing we're gonna mess up. Yes. Knowing we're gonna miss some arc No, and we're not always gonna do it right But he trusts himself enough in us to get the work done. Yes, and that's a true gift Yes, I have a question. What's up?

When you were mad, because I think people, it happens all the time. And sometimes when people are mad, it's up because horrible things can happen in this world. And sometimes we blame God for things that, it wasn't God. It was the way things happen. A death of someone or a loss of a job.

I mean, like things that are never gonna be okay, we're never gonna understand the people that hearts are broken by and they get mad at God. And sometimes people will push a wife and God, they'll get stuck in that mad at God place. But I would ask you, under the mad, what were you really feeling? This is so good.

This always happens whenever I talk to you. And I always take a minute to really think because I don't wanna just answer. I think under being mad at God, I was really just sad for the situation. Yeah. Honestly, and I was confused by it because you are confused by why bad things happen to good people.

Yes, and that's like I think a lot of people have the biggest struggle with God because they say, well, what bad things happen to good people? And I was sad at the reality of our world. Yes. And I think that that's what I always come to even when I'm mad at at God. I don't know why you got my emotional on this podcast. But I think about the times that I am a habbit mad at God. And it's really always because I'm sad about the reality of my world. And I always think about, I'm like, God, I'm like, because at the end of the anger, I always say, but God, if this was it, if this was our only hope is this life,

then that would be horrible. And that would be devastating. But the fact that you actually give us the only hope, past this sad reality, like, I can't run from you. Even though I'm mad, and I feel like you might could have stopped that from happening, I have to lean in to you, because this did happen and it's a sad reality of the world that we're in but you do give me a hope of heaven and a hope of eternity and something better than this and it's always where I end up every single time.

Yeah, it doesn't mean I still don't wrestle through what's feelings and like let him know how sad I am about it and cry to tears. But then I have to renew and anchor my hope. Let's see it. But you give me the hope of eternity. Thank God you asked that. And just that pull all the way through.

What you just did is you just brought God all of what you were failing. And you allowed yourself to feel all of what you were failing. And with that, in that place of only Jesus, that's where the peace of that didn't change a thing, and the heart still hurts, and the heart still hard, and the not understanding, you still can't understand. But in that moment where you came to God in truth, and it breaks my heart, and I'm just

so sad, and the state of the world, that just further in your moment, a finding peace with God, opened up those areas to where then God can come in and heal. So true. That made it done hard, or it didn't make it all better. But you got to fully feel everything you were feeling because sometimes people will get the mad and they'll pull away. And they'll go, what were you mad about? What's under that anger? Because often it's fear, or it's deep, deep heart and sadness. Let's take that to God too. And you don't have to understand it.

Not going to. But let's take all that to God and ask God to meet us right there. I had a professor who lost a son. And he said that in all his study, like he's Babel teacher, but in his study he says you can worship with God and in his son, like that's something that he still do together. So he loves to worship. That's cool. But he did all this extensive study on because people were asking, counseling, where was God? Why didn't God stop it? And to the best of all his knowledge, according to scripture and him being a big Ophd person, God was with us through Jesus. So in our in our heart, it's like we know God's everywhere all the time. He was back there. He'll be he'll be with us in the future. He was

with us in the past, but God entered into our suffering through Christ. Yeah. And so even though it doesn't help the pain, we can now that's where he is, even if he's still about it, he still whips through the cross. Oh man, that's so good. That's so good. That just helped. I sat in class and I just kind of waved and I was like,

okay, because I always get the real, the people in that moment, where of course they're mad at God. Well, don't leave him though, because God's not mad at you for being mad at him. Yeah. God's love cannot change even in those hardest moments, and he understands why it hurts you the way it does.

Yeah. And loves you, rap in the middle of it. Just don't walk away from him. Well, that would not be a good decision to walk away from God, right there. But see, there's all the real human feelings. Yeah, that's so good. But still what decision?

Hang with Jesus, just hold on. Well, that's so good, gosh. I don't know this is for so many of you out there listening and I'm so glad you said that because in the midst of my sadness and even sometimes anger and different things through bad things that have happened, I always felt though the Lord like say this

to me in these moments like I understand Every time I've heard that it makes me cry because I realized he does and I'm like you actually do Because you like sent your son. Yeah, you're one and only son because John through 16 is so Quotable when everybody knows it so much. I think sometimes we have heard it so much and become so familiar with it that it's lost its gravity, that what that is saying, that God, a father sent his one and only son to die and that on the cross that was so unjust and so horrible and so just grew some and the mocking and all of that, like he allowed it to happen because he loved it so much knowing that he trusts himself enough in the story that he was

going to resurrect from this. What he's always doing. To life and then give us the hope for eternal life. So like in the hardest times of our life life like in those really questionable things It's like God gets it like John 316 says he understands that pain But he loved us enough to endure that pain to give us hope and so even in this moment He understands my pain and he gave me hope through that and so sometimes you have to go back to those verses that you learned as a kid Yeah, that are sweet songs that you sing and like understand the power of those words and understand the power of that. So literally I can't believe we've already gone an hour.

We didn't even get to like any, a lot of the stuff we've been playing to talk about, which is wonderful. I mean we got through a lot of it, but some of the stuff in your story that was so powerful and profound. And so I know what you're going to do, you're going to blow us up, say and bring her back, bring her back, bring her back. And we might just have to. Ms. Sarah is also going to be at L.O. conference and she is going to be speaking into the

minceau health breakout group, which I'm so thankful for. Thank you for doing that. She's a gift to me in my life. I'm grateful she could be a gift to y'all on yours. I hope this podcast was so, so helpful on a practical level, a spiritual level, a relatability level. I hope it blesses you and I hope that it helps you go and have more of these conversations. You know, we might have only had an hour today, but go with your mentor, your friend, your counselor, and discuss some more of these things and what that looks like in your life.

You all get to see the power of counseling right here. She stopped for a minute and said, what was behind that? Like that's the beauty of going and sitting with a counselor. So some of y'all, you need to get in counseling. Find a trusted person. Maybe it's through your church and sit with somebody, work through the things and don't get stuck where you're at.

There's a lot of life ahead of you to live. And Jesus gave us a beautiful gift of being able to repent knowing that none of us are gonna be perfect and just turn in the other direction and keep walking. So we love you guys. We're for you all and we're so grateful. And you gotta listen to podcasts like this

and you're willing to grow. So thank you, Ms. Tara, for all the wisdom. Okay. Honored. on it.