WHOA That's Good Podcast - There’s a Way Out of Your Toxic Thought Loop | Sadie Robertson Huff & Dr. Amen

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

When's the last time you seriously thought about the health of your brain? Sadie is excited to speak with Dr. Daniel Amen about all things related to the brain: how to conquer mental health struggles, how to stop the loop of toxic thoughts, and how not to feel like a slave to your brain — there are ways out! Think about this: Your brain is involved in EVERYTHING you do and EVERYTHING you are! Dr. Amen also has tips for parents who deal with feelings of guilt, but he cautions that parenting from a place of guilt is never the answer. Instead, a firm and loving stance is always the best course. Plus, Dr. Amen reveals how discovering your purpose can benefit many areas of your physical and mental well-being. Sadie shares about her own brain scan by Dr. Amen and encourages anyone feeling trapped by toxic thoughts that there ARE ways to stop them from taking control. Dr. Amen's book "Change Your Brain Every Day" is available for pre-order now!  - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, believe, if you take this advice, you will live a better life. We have Dr. Aiman back on the podcast with a brand new book that is going to come out very soon. It has changed your brain every day, 365 days to dive in to having a healthier brain life. And so thank you, Dr. Aiman, for writing books like this. Thank you for being on this podcast. And thank you for all the ways that you've helped me personally and my family just become healthier people.

Sadie, it's just so great to see you as always. Thank you for helping me with the mission I have to end mental illness by creating a revolution in brain health. It's awesome. God, it's so good. Even when you say that, it makes me so excited. Because I feel like a lot of times we just kind of live with it. You know, we live with the fact that we all tend to seem to struggle with mental illness. And I feel like it's so easy to say that. We struggle with it, but not actually try to help ourselves get out of it.

And so I'm just so thankful that you're actually helping us get out of it. And so let's just even start there. That what it looks like to not have to stay there. What does it mean that we actually can get out of it? I think sometimes we feel like we're just like slaves to our brain, but we actually can do things to help. And so why do you think people don't act on trying to make that part of their life better? Because they don't know that, you know, I mean all neuroscientists would agree. Your brain is involved in everything you do and everything you are. And when it works right, you work right, and when it doesn't, you don't. But it was 1991 when I had not cared about my own brain. And in 1991, I had already been a psychiatrist for almost 10 years.

It was a top neuroscience student in medical school. And I didn't really care about it. And I wasn't treating it very well until I looked at it. So in immunclinics, we do a study called brain-specning imaging to study the looks of blood flow and activity. It looks at how your brain works. And the week before I scanned my mom, and it was beautiful. And then I scanned myself and it was not you. And I come from a very competitive family. And that really irritated me. And I realized the health of my brain is more important than anything else.

And I live in Newport Beach, California, where we have more plastic surgeons that almost anywhere in the world. And I just realized we care more about our faces, our breasts, our bellies, and our butts than we do our brain. And that's insane. Because when your brain is healthy, you're prettier. When your brain is healthy, you're happier. When your brain is healthy, your relationships are better, it's the brain. Wow. That's wild. That's so true though. We care so much more about our outward appearance at times and put more into it whenever gosh, our brain is the thing. It's so true when you said you're pretty,

that is a true fact. When I look at myself and seasons of my life that I was not healthy, my hair is thinner and more like breakage, my face has more acne. I'm not like, I look like darker, but when I'm happier when my brain health is better I literally feel like people say like oh you have the glow. I feel like the glow is just like joy You know, I feel like well maybe right now it's pregnancy and joy

But I think it's it's joy and your hair looks better. Everything just works better And so I think that's actually really cool to think about it's's like, you know, a lot of times we cover our face that with makeup to, you know, so people don't see the blemishes, but the reality is a lot of times what we're putting on is actually making it worse when if you would actually just take the time to make your skin healthy, your inside healthy,

then you wouldn't have to cover it up. So it's a great, great point. I love how you say, there's a quote by you, everyday actions are either helping or hurting your brain, which seems obvious, but I feel like we don't think about that on the forefront of our minds as much. And we just do these daily things that we don't realize are hurting or helping. At the beginning of this year, which I know about this time when people are listening, it'll be March, but you talked about Instagram, your ins and outs list.

I thought that was a really practical thing. Can you share what that is? And it's never too late. It just has to be January 1st. It can be March to start your ins and outs. And what that looks like for your life. Well, the ins, I turned 69 this year, is to be even more diligent about helping my brain be younger every day.

Right. Every day, my behavior is helping my brain, or it's hurting my brain, the amount of sleep I get, what I eat. Brain health is in and making it a daily habit and then you know when I help other people do that it does nothing except help me. So I love that being really consistent with food being consistent with supplements and what's out or people that take advantage of me that don't give back. And so when you're a helper like I am, like you are, we often tolerate people who steal from us, whether it's steal our time or our treasure

or our energy. And obviously for my patients, I give them everything that I have. But the other relationships in my life, I want to prune and people go prune, what do you mean? It's like, well, think of a gardener. If a gardener didn't prune, his garden wouldn't be beautiful. And so I think in our own lives

is assessing our relationships and making sure they're balanced because if they're not balanced, then people get burned out. Well, yep, that's true. Been there. That's good. You have a quote in this book that I love so much. You say, technology connects us to a world of distraction. And right now, my out, I guess, has actually been social media. I've taken some time off social media and really diving into just being present with my family, reading books, playing cards, doing things that, you know, don't involve scrolling. And it has been so healthy for me. And I've just felt so present in my mind.

Like I feel like at the end of last year, my mind just felt all over the place. It was just, I felt like I was just constantly having a thought to the next thought, to the next thought, to the next thought, and thoughts that were looping. It was just crazy. And I realized like I wasn't ever giving my brain a break I was like the second I was resting I was scrolling so was that really resting and it was just a lot and so I Love that quote and you go on to talk about how we can actually prevent our phones from becoming in it an addiction of in a Obsession so I want to ask you because now, I'm loving this time off social media,

but at the same time, I feel like social media is something that I'm called to do in the sense that I know it can be a positive place where I can be a positive light to people, but how do I go back to that and not go back into the same patterns of that addiction and maybe it's a simple as just stop doing it, but what are some practical things of going back well?

For you, it's not stop doing it because your message reaches millions of people, it's you have to trust your team. And you have to give it a defined period of time, you know, so say it's half an hour or, you know, if it's a bigger part of your business an hour, and that's it, then you have to turn it off. And I'd like rarely, if ever read my comments, because, the internet every idiot has a voice. And so you know you get these haters and lovers and I'm like no that'll pollute my mind. But yet I want to produce like I've been on Instagram live virtually every day. Just reading one of the essays from the new book because I love the book.

I think it's the most important things I've ever said. So that's what this book is. 366 of the most important things I teach my patients, I think myself. I talk about in my public television specials and I love it. But I'm not going to sit there and read 400 comments. And 300 will be awesome. And 50 might be hateful. And I'm like, I don't need that input. But I love the community that we've built. And I think developing discipline for creators and then relying on your team,

that way you don't have to go away. You're just disciplining yourself for the long run. And when you've had intense early fame and you have, it can wear out your brain. If you, and there's nobody that I know besides me that's talking about, we have to protect our young stars because then they can be older stars without having to implode.

Like, you know, unfortunately, we see so many do. Yeah. So you've talked to me about that before and what it looks like for your brain to just get worn out and you talked about how, you know, it's like the dopamine or I think that's what it was that the dopamine that normally would kind of make you go, like, oh, make me happier.

It's just kind of like numb down. It's just kind of like worn down. It's just kind of like worn out. And I know that happens to a lot of people who are hit fame at a early age. But can anybody suffer from that? And like, what are, what are some, I guess, signs that your brain is worn out? Like you've had too much. Now, we have a whole generation that is suffering for that. So, it's not just, you know, Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus, it's a whole generation that has been thrilled to death with smartphones and social media and fast food and negative news. It's just boom, boom, boom,

wearing out the pleasure centers, the dopamine centers in the brain. So you then need more and more to feel anything at all. And some of the signs is your motivations low, your energies low, you have more apathy. Your focus is hard. It takes you longer and longer to get things accomplished because you don't have the vitality to make it happen. And I often talk about, I talk about it in the book, drip dopamine, don't dump dopamine. So dump dopamine is you had an affair, that dump dopamine, or you're in the pornography, or you're drinking alcohol, or marijuana cocaine or magic mushrooms, all of those take the

dopamine storage you have in your brain and push it all out at once and you feel awesome. But when it wears off, you feel flat, you feel sad, and then you go back to the behavior, but it doesn't do it quite as intense as before. And pretty soon you engage in these addictive behaviors, including scrolling, not to get the high, but to stop you from feeling awful. Wow, that's good. I feel like when you're naming that list of what, you know, you feel like, I definitely have been there. I think the time I came to you, I was probably there. And I feel like when you're naming that list of what, you know, you feel like I definitely have been there. I think the time I came to you, I was probably there. And I feel like a lot of people can identify with that. And so it's so nice that you're saying, hey, this might be where you've gotten to,

but this is not where you have to say. There are ways to get dopamine and a healthy way to drip it, to actually feel better. And I have to say, even the things I've been doing lately, like, filling my time with, uh, just sweet things. Fun card play a night till my friends, uh, hanging out with my, my, my girl, you know, going on walks daily, we going, we feed our horses apples. Like, these little things that just fill me with joy have been so good and not being distracted by the negative things.

Right now, I'm just taking a detox from all that and I love how you said to trust your team because that's what I've been doing. So my team has been posting and then just trusting them with that and when I get back on, I need to practice the discipline to say, this is gonna be my time and then it's gonna shut off and then I'm gonna go on and do the other things in my life.

On the same note of social media, I love how you talked about, this was just such a good quote. You said, stop trying to be interesting and instead be interested in people. And you talked about how sometimes it's like, we want to be light so bad, but we're going about it the wrong way,

because wanting to be like, well, sometimes make us not likeable. And so, talk to me just about that, how people are so desperate to be liked, but how you can actually be liked without the striving. Well, I mean, the number one way to make friends, the number one way to make friends, the number one way to have influence in people is to be a good listener.

Because when you learn about someone else, they feel like you care, they feel connected. When you just talk about all the cool things you've done, they can't relate to that, and they don't connect to you. And there's a section in the book that I love called A Day in the Book on how to make your child a Republican, a Democrat, or anything you want. And it's about bonding. If you're bonded with your children, they will choose your values. But if you're not bonded with your children, they will pick the opposite values just irritate you. So for example, when I turned 18, it was the first year I could vote. It was 1972. And George McBevern was running against Richard Nixon for president.

And my dad, I was not bonded with him. I played lots of sports when I was growing up. He never went to one of my baseball games because he worked all the time. And I'm grateful. I got that hard working part of me from him that I didn't really have a relationship with him. And so he was a staunch Republican. Everybody should vote for Nixon.

And he told me if you vote for a governor in the country, he's going to go to hell. Well, I voted for a governor and the country went to hell, but it had nothing to do with a governor. It was all about Richard Nixon and Watergate and all that nonsense. So if you want your babies to pick your values, be a really good listener. Spend 20 minutes a day with them. So it's not a lot of time, but 20 minutes a day, it's called special time. Do something with them that they want to

do. And during that time, no commands, no questions, no directions. It's just a time to be with them because bonding requires two things, listening and time. And if you do that, they will stay connected even when they're teenagers. And they'll seriously consider your values as their values. That's so good. That's so good for this mama heart to hear because you know it is hard whenever you're a working parent and you want to make sure that your kids know how much you love them. I had someone one time working for me and she then did that you know needing to leave because she has kids and one thing

she said to me was she said you know I just can't risk my kids not knowing that I love them, I need to show them by being there. And it kind of what she was saying was sweet for her, but what it, what it was hard, it was hard for me to hear because I am a mom that works. And you know, it's hard not to hear it with the ears of, oh, are you saying that my kids get a question that I love her because I do choose to work. And that was just kind of a tough thing. But I was like, no, it's not true. You know, God has given me the amazing gift of being a mom, which is one of my favorite things that at the most favorite thing I get to do in my whole life. I love being a mom. But he's also given me the gift of running a ministry that I feel super passionately about.

And I feel like God gives me the capacity to do both things well. And that does look like some days I'm at the office, you know, most of the day from nine to five. But when I get home, like, I make sure my time is all for that girl, you know? And it's just, and yes, you're distracted at times, you're cooking dinner, you're doing things. But I feel like 20 minutes is such a doable thing to sit there and to listen and to play baby dolls right now as a season we're in or play in her little kitchen.

She calls pasta pasti and she makes pasti for me at night. And you know, just those sweet things. And so it's really refreshing for me to hear you say, how far that goes because it can be hard to have that mom guilt, you know, and for dads too, that you're not there. And how are you going to bond? And so that is a lot less of it because I mean, you know, females are probably getting trouble for the, but they're totally wired for bonding. And their limbic brain, their emotional brain is larger.

And but it's important for both. But if you demonstrate, I can be balanced, but you're super important to me. That's why we have our time every day, and never discipline a child by taking away your time. I mean, there are other things to do. I'm a huge fan of parenting with love and logic. I don't know if you ever heard of that program. No, I love that. But it's miraculous. And next year when you have me on I'm working on a book with

the founders of Parenting with Love and Logic. Well, calling raising mentally strong kids. Oh, I need that. It's firm, it's kind. And this is also very important in the parenting discussion, it's because you work, don't let guilt allow your kids to get away with bad behavior, because to often your best strategy will always be firm and kind. Like you're always rooting for them to do the right thing, but let them pay consequences when they don't. If you protect them, and this is a problem in famous families, kids will be come entitled. And I've noticed that's not the problem in your family. Right? It's like I have to know your mom and dad and your siblings. That's not the problem in your family.

And I appreciate that because entitled children are always unhappy. And so firm, kind, expected to do what you say when you say it. And it doesn't matter that you worked all day. If people who parent out of Gil raised confused entitled children. Wow that is so good. Gosh I can't wait for this book. You'll definitely be on next year because I don't know that is such a Almost like buzz phrase right now. It's just mom guilt and it's like so many of us just You don't know what to do with that, but I love that you just said that you cannot parent out of that guilt Because it will raise a confused child and you know, we are in that discipline right now She is 20 months old and she is already so independent She is so smart.

We're potty churning right now. You'll think this is hilarious. I cannot believe this. My jaw is on the floor this morning. So we're teaching her how to go potty. And I told her, you know, you can't get off the potty until I see water come out. I told her, you have the T.C. She wasn't understanding.

She thought because she's sat in the potty, she T.T. You have the T.C. You have T.C. She wasn't understanding. She thought because she sat in the potty, she T.T. says, I know. So I gave her some juice and I was like, okay, drink some juice, see if it would get things flowing. That girl, she tried to sneak it. She looked down and put her juice in her hand and dropped it in the toilet and said, yay, like fake that she peed.

And I was like, no, ma'am. And I was like, no ma'am. However, very smart, no ma'am. Like that is not your pee. And so, you know, we're getting into that phase and we're starting to have to, you know, you can't lie. You got it, you got to do what mommy says. You got to stay in the potty. A lot of people think that's so creative.

I'm like, wow, it was so creative. It was so creative. Trust me, we told her. I told her, I said, I got a good tea. That'm like wow. Oh it was creative. Trust me we told her I told her I said I got a good tea that was really smart. Well I was like what that doesn't count. You're not getting out the toilet. But she is so smart and so creative like that. But even like whenever I ask her I'll go did you did you poo poo and she goes uh no. It's like her live voice. But I'm like, but then she starts laughing. Like she'll tell you, she's already so smart.

So we're starting to get into some of these conversations. And it's just funny. So I appreciate that. On the note of parenting, one thing you talk about in your book is brain fog. And how to get out of brain fog. And I think, you know, it comes up in conversations when you're pregnant because you have this like pregnancy fog. I call it my pregnant brain. You know, you'll just say the wrong thing

or forget a million things. Or a lot of people had COVID brain. I did too, like we're all the sudden, my brain just felt so fogged. And I'm sure there are like legitimate reasons for both of those things. But when you're just like having brain fog for seemingly

no reason, maybe why is that and how do you shake that? So there is a mommy brain because your brain remodeled itself, especially on the first baby, that and you probably noticed that you slept really well before you got pregnant. And then after you had the baby, you weren't sleeping well because it doesn't happen for guys, but it happens for girls where your nervous system becomes on hyper alert, that you're like, okay, where is she? What is she doing? And, after pay attention.

But that lack of good sleep is making your brain really foggy. And then, some moms will then try to medicate it with bad things, marijuana alcohol. And that just makes things worse. So, the way to counteract it, so if you feel it after you had a baby, make sure someone's checking your hormones.

Because it's very common for people to have low thyroid after they have a baby. Yeah. And so making sure your thyroid is right and your other hormones, progesterone, estrogen, critical, and then eat a brain healthy diet, which is as many plants as you can, colorful fruits and vegetables, high-quality protein, and healthy fat, kill the sugar and the foods that turn to sugar.

And you'll notice your energy sores. Long COVID's a huge problem. Probably 20% of people who have COVID will continue to have neurological or psychological symptoms months later. And it's really important to decrease the inflammation in your brain that COVID or for some people COVID vaccines cause. And I like quercetin, curcumin, omega-3 fatty acids. Those are anti-inflammatory supplements. You also need anti-inflammatory foods, which mostly think of green leafy vegetables. It's good. It's so good. It's so practical. One thing that I love about you is that you do have such a

deep faith and you love God. I think that a lot of people, what Nick, expect that almost, you are having a psychiatrist. You're number one and you're all a genius. your number one and your all of you, your so smart and you have all these patients who are at big celebrities and it's sad that sometimes we think, oh, he might not be a Christian, but you are. You love the Lord. And I love how brain health and your spirituality can go together, can actually make you stronger in your faith, and you helped me a lot with fear, which made me so much stronger in my faith. And those aren't two separate things for you.

It's not like, because a lot of people, I feel like who are into science and things, it's like a separate thing, but no, those two things can be together. Those two things were designed to be together, because they're designed by such a great creator. And so for you, over the years of studying brain health, how has it impacted your own spirituality? Science has never caused me to question my faith.

And I'm often shocked by the people, oh, you can't believe in God if you believe in science. It's like you really think all of this happened by random chance. That Sadie and I have a relationship by random chance then you really don't understand physics. That their second law of physics is something called entropy where things go from order to disorder. And so obviously there is an order to the universe.

There is an order to your brain. And it's incredibly special. So to believe it all happened by random chance because of an explosion millions of years ago, sorry, ridiculous. Yeah. And so when you see the order in the universe and between people, you go, okay, creative design is really easy to believe in. But I think Jesus is really easy to believe in. People don't like being raised from the dead,

and hundreds of people saw him, and he was clearly dead, and you go, oh, well, that doesn't mean anything. They've made all that up. And there's just no way I'm going to believe, I'm here by random chance in my life being nothing. I'm not here by random chance. I'm here by design and it's my job to make the most of the gifts that God gave me.

It's great. It's so good. I love that so much. It's so encouraging. I want to ask you about this quote because I think it's so good. You say it says in the book, when you know your why, you can survive almost any what.

And you talk about purpose and how purpose, when you have a high sense of purpose, you talk about how your likelihood of dying from heart, circulatory or blood conditions is way reduced. And I just found that so crazy. And I feel like so many people, especially a lot of people who listen to this podcast are in an age group where they question so much

what their purpose is or so afraid of what that is or afraid of not knowing what that is. And so practically how can you help people find what what their purpose is? Which I feel like is something that obviously is so important. And we talk about that a lot in the faith perspective, but also I love how you say, and the practical perspective, you're going to be a healthier person if you know what your purpose is. Well, there's actually a great study out of Baltimore where they took two groups of older people, scan their brains. One group, they

just continued to live their life. The other group volunteered. So they got outside of themselves to help other people. The people who volunteered a year later grew a part of their brain called the hippocampus, which is a very important part of the brain. It's involved in memory and mood. The people who didn't volunteer, their hippocampus shrank. And so being purposeful is critical to brain health. There's actually a day, I don't remember a rich day, where I give people five steps to find their purpose, which is, what do you best in the world at? Or, you know, what are you really good at? What do you really like to do? And who do you do it for?

And how do they benefit? And when you just ask yourself these few simple questions, you're like, like I did it with the comedian. And when we got to the end of it, her purpose was to bring a little bit of happiness to people every day. That's so cool. And it's just like super clear. And my purpose is to create brain

healthy people. And I love that. I can't do it unless I'm authentic. You know, it's one of the big lessons I've learned. In order to give the message, you have to live it. The people who are not authentic are not good messengers. Well, that's so good. I love that so much. I read this book a while back and it was talking about being a good leader. And I've told this story before on this podcast that I got to say it again. It's so good. She wrote like 50 words out and all these words were really good words.

And she said, I want you to choose 10 of these words that you want to live by. So I chose my 10 relatively easy. And she said, all right, now break that down to five words that you want to live by. So it's a little bit harder. So I'm looking at this and I'm like, okay, yeah, choose five, all right, just five. So I chose my five. And then she said, now break that down to just two. And she said, in these two words are going to carry you through all that you do. I mean, this just make sure that these two words are actually applied to all the things that you do because you will remember two words. And I remember 10, but you'll remember two. This was years ago.

And I read this book and my two words were faith and authenticity and I wanted an all that I do for my faith to be involved and it's be authentic to who I am. And I have kept those on the forefront of my mind and what I do is this authentic to who I am, is this authentic to what I believe, is authentic to the way that I live my life. This this actually lead people and myself towards my faith in Christ and it has been such a good just navigating tool for me to make sure that whatever I'm doing falls in line with these two things and I agree and the times when I was younger in life when I would just be trying to start something new that wasn't authenticated to me it would never

work right but then whenever I was doing the thing that was just so in life when I would just be trying to start something new that wasn't authenticated to me. It would never work, right? But then whenever I was doing the thing that was just so authentically who I am and what I actually believe and what I actually live my life to, it's stayed the course. It's continuing and it continues to grow. And I think when you do the thing that's authentic to you because God intentionally designed you so uniquely and wonderfully, there's just unlimited growth in that. You can always find something new in that.

You're gonna wake up excited for what today could hold because man, you put something in me that might come out today that's gonna show people on the other side of the image of who you are. Like, it's just a fun way to live authentically and you do live in such better leadership. So I love that you said that. I think that's so good. And in the book, I talk about know your values.

So that's what you're talking about. Yeah. The values of faith and authenticity. Know your purpose, so why you're on the planet, and then develop an exercise called the One-Page Miracle, one piece of paper right down what you want. What do you want, your relationships, your work, your money, your physical, emotional,

and spiritual help. write that down based on your values and your purpose. And then you ask yourself every day, does my behavior fit the goals I have for my life? It's good. And the goals, because some people go, oh, no, like that selfish. That's totally not selfish because none of the goals are it's selfish. I mean, they're, let me take care of the gift God gave me in my body, right? Temple is the Holy Spirit. And your body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit. So I've taken care of that. But it's about connection.

It's about purpose. It's about connection, it's about purpose, it's about resources, it's about physical, emotional, spiritual health. And being pregnant is not just about you. It's about generations of you. It's good. I love whenever you told me that, it was before I was pregnant with honey, but you talked to me about the generations of just whenever you're pregnant, the things that you have struggle with, the things that you do struggle with during your pregnancy a lot of times, you'll see that, you know, and your kids play out. And I pray over, I almost just said her name and I'm not announcing her name yet, but the

baby in me right now, I already just pray over her so much and just that the generational things that I struggle with would not affect her, you know, but that the good things that God has done in my life and the faithfulness that he, the faithful God that he's been and the good things that he's put in me in Christian would truly be the things that take heart and take root as she begins to grow. It's just really cool to start praying into the generations and not just praying but practically living in such a way that I want it to affect her in a healthy way, knowing that what I do

affects her, how I live affects her, how I think of XR. And so I love that, that you said that. And just to say to everyone listening, I love that he is giving such not only practical advice, but he's walking you through it like, hey, get a piece of paper right this down. And that, those things, taking the extra time, not just read a book, but actually live the book, actually take the steps to do it.

It will transform you. I'm talking about a book I read five years ago that I'm still talking about the two words I wrote down. And this 366 days is something to actually change your life, to actually apply into your day to day activity. And so thank you for that. I got to ask you one more thing before you go because I think this is just Such a thing that people struggle with when it comes to their mind I know I have struggled with it so much and you wrote on it for a day

The the chapter title was called what to do when you feel stuck and you talk about getting stuck in your thoughts and I And like get so stuck in my thoughts. I remember when I skim my brain You told me that I had my thoughts on I remember when I skim my brain, you told me that I had my thoughts on loop, just like, and I was like, yes, I mean, I'm glad that you can see that because that is for sure true. I'll have the same thought every single day and sometimes it's a toxic thought

and I'm like, how do I get this thought in my mind? And until you gave me tools to actually work on getting rid of those thoughts, I just felt helpless to those feelings. And so, to the person who feels stuck in their brain pattern and their toxic thought and that thing that just goes on loop, how do you start to get out of that? Well, it's common. And whenever you have a thought that loops, if you don't correct it or you don't manage it, it gets stronger and stronger and creates a little rut in your brain and it'll just

be on repeat. So I like it when you feel stuck right out whatever you're thinking. And then take it through this process of, okay, is that true? Is it absolutely true? How does this thought make me feel? How would I feel without it? And then take the opposite of the thought and ask yourself if the opposite of the thought is in true. It's so powerful. That's good. And meditate actually on the opposite of the thought nobody likes me. A lot of people like me. And then meditate on a lot of people like me and then you'll come up with a list of five people. And I was actually talking to one of my friends yesterday And she's like doesn't everybody have like 50 friends. I said nope. I think the average is five

I said if you have five you're blessed You know we all and this is partly social media. We all think everyone else has 250 million followers. So we are less than by comparison. And it's absolutely not true. The people who have 250 million followers, I was on the Kardashian show. Recently, I scanned Chloe and Kendall. We talked about, there's a lot of unhappiness there.

So being thoughtful will help you get out of a rut. Plus when you get a thought in your head more than three times, get up physically and go do something else. You do this with honey. And she wants, wants, wants, wants to get her way, you've distracted her. Yeah, that's true. You want to learn how to distract yourself. It's good. Gosh, it's so good. God, you're even every time I talk to you, I'll leave excited to start to apply some of these things into my life. And I've seen the

benefit of doing that in my life since the years that I've known you. And so thank you for that. Thank you for continuing to write great books that help change our brain to be the best version of who we're created to be. And thank you for taking the time to be on this podcast. I can't wait to have you back on next time when I have two kids and we're talking about parenting. So we'll have you back, but I appreciate you so much.

Well, I adore you, Sadie. Thank you so much for having me on. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ you