WHOA That's Good Podcast - Who Are You Following? | Sadie Robertson Huff, Demi Tebow & Bella Robertson Mayo

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

Bella Robertson Mayo and Demi Tebow join Sadie to kick off the launch of her new book, “Who Are You Following?” In a deeply personal conversation, they reveal the highs and lows of social media in their lives and discuss toxic Instagram and Snapchat culture, intentionality about what you share, the lies social media can tell you, why you are the ultimate influencer, and how social media can give you a powerful platform to be the light of the world. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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with infinite skills and a fulfillment guarantee. No hiring or tedious project coordination needed. We get your tasks done on time and on point, always. Get your 10-hour free child at bunnystudio.com slash start. Bunny studio. What's up, fam? Welcome back to the world. That's good pie cast today is a very special episode because this is the book launch week. What, what, what? And the book I'm talking about is my new book,

who are you following? It is just so crazy that this book is actually out right now because I feel like I just wrote it, but I do feel like this book is so timely. And I cannot wait if you haven't already gotten it in your hands for you to get it in your hands and dive into this message of following Jesus in a social media obsessed world.

And so today on this podcast, what I wanted to do is bring two people in who I love and look up to in different ways who are Instagram influencers, but more than that, devout followers of Jesus. And so what we're gonna do is I brought in Dime Tibo, my girl and my little sister Bella Ra, Mayo. I'm so pumped out this conversation.

And the reason why I felt like this was an important conversation to have is because, to be honest, there are so many things in life where we can call our mom and say, hey, mom, how do you navigate this? How did you do this when you were younger? Are there so many things we can call a mentor and say, hey, give me some wisdom,

give me some advice on this? But social media is really interesting because our moms, our mentors, didn't grow up having social media. So we're kind of thrown into this big thing that literally affects our every single day life and we don't have a lot of wisdom when it comes to it. And so what I hopefully wanted to do

was just open up a conversation about social media and ways to navigate that. And how do we, you know, how does follow in Jesus have anything to do with who we follow on social media? How does our relationship with Christ actually impact the things that we're posting? And so that's a lot of what the book's about, but I wanna have a conversation right now

with two people who have been very accustomed to social media, you might even follow them on social media and just talk about some of the highs and the lows. And so that's how we're gonna get this thing started. So pumped for this conversation. Thanks for listening in. And y'all, maybe this is going to be a further conversation

that we continue to have. So if you're currently struggling with something revolving around the concept of social media, please DM live originals in Stream Account. We love to hopefully answer those questions in some of the conversations that I'll be having over the next month or so, but love to hear from you and so excited to get started on this chat. I want to start this conversation. I want to start it by really talking about

the highs and lows of social media because genuinely from my perspective, I love social media. I think it's actually an awesome tool to have. I think it's so fun. I think it's hilarious, honestly. The dance videos are some of my favorite things to laugh at and partake in. So there's a lot of good things to social media, but also like from a low standpoint, I've definitely hit some social media lows.

Like I remember in high school, this used to be like a huge thing, but I don't know if it's still thing, but there was like Twitter wars, and it was basically where like people would get in fights on Twitter, and it was like through high school students, not like politicians. It's like high school students would post something like super mean about another one, and there was like who could say like the rudest thing that they get the most retweets, and now I kind of like TikTok

is like that. It's like who can say like the worst comment, and like those comments actually hurt being on the other side of it, and I've definitely experienced that or I've experienced the comparison side of it or sometimes like the feeling of being left out and so I definitely see it like a both thing like there's a lot of good and there's a lot of bad but that's like kind of my perspective at what are y'all's highs and lows and overall fads on the concept of social media? Bella, what about you? I think in high school, I feel like, I feel like social media was like my biggest high.

I loved it, I loved expressing myself. It was a place I could express myself through art and words and poetry and photography, and it was my favorite place. And then I feel like the past like year so it's like how do I balance sharing art and life and like now I feel like a lot of people on social media like want to see your life and they feel like they have a right to title to see it. And it's like I think I'm trying to learn right now how to like navigate life and art.

Like, is my social media going to be like my art space or is it going to be my life? And like, how do I share enough life without sharing private things and how do I share enough private things while feeling like people know me in a way, you know? I feel like in your social media overview right now is like an overthinking social media overview, yeah. Which we've all been there too. Dimi, where are you on the stand to social media? Good, bad, kind of both. You know what I say, Dimi, I think it's a hard question

to answer because using social media for a little bit of business, right? It gives you a whole different perspective. So when you lose followers, it's like, oh my goodness, I'm losing customers, right? It gives you a whole different perspective. So when you lose followers, it's like, oh my goodness, I'm losing customers, right? But when you're just kind of using social media to keep in touch with people, to keep in touch with friends, have some friends and London and the Philippines, and I love keeping in touch with them and just falling up on their lives. And it's so fun. I feel like it's, you know, it's such a fine balance. Yes. Social media, I think one thing that is

very scary about social media is that whatever you put out there lasts forever. And so you're speaking about, you know, TikTok, comments, or whatever social media platforms comments that you get, you get them on all the platforms, right? Yeah, those comments last forever. You can go and delete them, but the e-trail that they leave, I don't even know if that's the right phrase, really last forever. And I think it's really easy for people to hide behind the screen and comment something or say something about someone when,

really, we truly have no real relationship with the people that we are commenting about. We have no real true context of their life because for the most part we're seeing the goods of the funds of the happy stuff, the highlight wheels and and you know we don't always see a lot a lot of kind of the heart days and and I think that's something that has started, you know, kind of come forward a lot more people have started being a lot more vulnerable on social media.

But I think something that is really important is for us to also remember that being able to be honest and vulnerable is so hard, even with people that we know and that we love and that loves us and knows us. Never mind going out into the world and being vulnerable. So I feel like it's a really, really hard balance. But you know what, I'm having fun with it. Bala, I so relate with you. Gosh, there was a time in my life not too long ago where it was, you know, I started, I literally went from 60,000 followers to just under a million followers in a couple of hours, like literally overnight. That was when I

won Miss Universe. I remember like putting my phone on and my phone would just like keep crashing because I didn't think to switch off the notifications. You know, before the crowning room or before the crowning night and said my phone would just keep crashing, keep crashing and I would like to like leave it on charge. So navigating that from Ligian instant was a pretty big adjustment. But you know what, thankful for people in my life that helped talk things through with me, helped speak with them into my life. So I feel like there's a, I'm a little bit mutual.

Sometimes it's one way, sometimes it's another way. Yes. Well, I think that that's so true and that's a good point. That social media is such a balance and that's what it has to be. I think that's where sometimes we go wrong though, is like, we don't create that balance for ourselves. And I wrote this in the book about how it's so easy to blame social media for our problems. But the truth is, like social media is just a lot of us, right? It's we're creating our profiles. We're creating the content. We're creating our following lists and our explorer page and all those different things. And so social media is only going to be as healthy as we are.

And everybody knows that in life to be healthy, there has to be a balance with things. And so social media is only gonna be as healthy as we are. And everybody knows that in life to be healthy, there has to be a balance with things. And so I love, gosh, we can unpack so many things about what you just said, but one thing I wanna touch on that you just brought up is that vulnerability side. And I think because there's almost this thing now, it's like where everyone's like so against like the highlight

real that you're like, I wanna be vulnerable and I wanna share it all, but even that, there is a balance because even if you're being vulnerable on social media, you're still curating your vulnerability. You're still editing it and you're captioning it just right and you're still posting it just right. And so, yes, you're vulnerable with your followers, but that doesn't necessarily mean

that you're being vulnerable with your real-life friends. And I think that what we're desiring out of that being open and being vulnerable is to build relationships, but I don't know necessarily that social media is the place to do that all the time. There's a balance to that. I think that, Bill and I talked about that this morning about how like, I think where things go wrong sometimes is because social media is built to build community and yes you can build a sense of community but it can't be your only

community because it's not always real and it's not always the real stuff and the way that you get in relationship with people. I mean there's a reason why it's like relationship that kind of sounds like real at the beginning like it's a real thing. It's a day-to-day, it's a reason why it's like relationship that kind of sounds like real at the beginning. Like, it's a real thing. It's a day to day. It's a see me in my heart, they see me in my good day kind of thing. And Bella actually talked about how Snapchat was a thing that kind of got her in trouble in high school

a lot because she would think she would know someone. And it would kind of lead her down about path. But you want to share about that? Because I think that's so relatable to so many people, especially in high school and college. Yeah, I think in high school, like social media, or like Snapchat, especially, it's like you add to one of the Snapchat

and then you start sending like selfies back and forth, you may say like, hey, what you're doing? Well, like that's throughout it. And then like Snapchat tells you like, okay, now this person's on your best friend's list. And then when they get to the talk, now they're your number one best friend. And it's like, so then you think, oh, this person's find number one best friend. It literally says it.

I talk to them the most out of anyone. But talk to is a strong word, I would say. You're Snapchating with them the most out of anyone else. And then I think in high school for me it's like I would start like getting into like relationships or like dating people that I was just Snapchatting and they were my number one best friend on Snapchat so I thought I knew them and I thought they were my best friend and then like ultimately let me down the wrong path because I didn't really know them. I didn't really know them as well as I thought they did at I did at least. And I think that's something that we have to be careful with

is like, you could only know so much from a screen. And like, even with Instagram too, it's like, where do you draw the line of like, I don't want this to be your highlight reel, but I also don't want to share my private life with people I don't know, you know? Where do you draw the line of like, you know me, but you really don't, you know?

That's kind of like a hard line to. Yeah, and maybe it's like this thing to where it's a beautiful place like create relationships and start relationships, but it's not a place like sustained relationships, you know? It's like, man, I can start this relationship with you on Snapchat, but take me on a date, boy. Like, call me out, let's get a coffee.

You're like, I can start this relationship over DMs, but like, eventually, like, I need to sit down with you over a table and have a conversation. And I think like, those are the things like, I have even, I know, Demi, you probably have the same experience, but like, there's a lot of influencer friends in mind who have like, open up to me about like, I don't have any friends, like, and,

but I have this like, huge community online. And I think that's where that loneliness creeps in of like, I'm known by all these, or not known. I'm seen by all these people, but I'm not known by anyone. And I've been in that position in my life a couple of times, and it can make you feel like really isolated, you know?

Demy, I want to ask you because like you said, you went from zero to a hundred, like, or zero to a million, like literally overnight. And my experience was kind of similar. I had a bit of a following from Duck Dinosaur but after I went on Dance with the Stars, it was like I gained a million followers in like two months. And so it was not a day, but it was pretty rapid.

And I think, you know, people probably look at you and they assume like you're so beautiful, you're a misuniverse, like, you have this big following that maybe you don't struggle with those things that other girls do on social media as far as like comparison and insecurity at times. And I know you on a heart level, and I know that's not true because you're human.

So you wanna speak to that aspect of social media and kind of the lessons you've learned of navigating that just in the world that you're in. For sure. I actually would love to comment on what Bella mentioned about Snapchat, Sadie, because I think it's such a relevant and super, super important topic. And actually it's something that I'm very passionate about. I work alongside my husband, and we are pretty having the fight against human trafficking.

And just from our research and experience, and talking with people, and working with survivors of human trafficking, I want to say this because I think it's important for young girls to hear this. Social media gives anyone the platform, if anyone the opportunity to reach out to you, Bella, just like you say, Bella. And we don't have personal relationships

with everyone that follows us. We really, for the most part, don't even have proof that that person is who they say they are, right? So, I just wanna, to anyone listening to this, that have a social media account, I just want to, to anyone listening to those that have a social media account, I'm not saying, hey, let's live in fear, but let's live with knowledge and with integrity to know that everyone that we speak to or that comments, nice comments on our, you know, pictures or our page might not have our best intentions at heart and, you know, really might have ill intentions. So

I think it's important to also follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit and know hey when something feels wrong it probably is wrong. Let me run this over with a friend with my mom with a sister with someone that really cares about me to make sure that there's nothing fishy going on here. You know Sadie you mentioned that dancing with the stars. I was this universe. I think deep down, a lot of us have a desire to be seen and to be known. And, you know, there's people out there that will capitalize all of those feelings that we have. So, girls are saying to this, be careful of who you allow into your life, who you allow,

you know, close into your life, who you respond to. Yeah, that's just something that I am, you know, that I am just really passionate about, just from not personal experience, but personal stories that I have heard, that I have navigated. And they say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah's stop there for a second before you even go, because I think that's so good. And we can get to the next question. But I love how you say,

there is discernment that has to be used when using social media. And I think that's the thing. When you get on social media, typically you're going to just scroll and kind of numb yourself or you're just going and you're trying to create some of your build something. So it's a very vulnerable place for you anyways,

because you're not on guard. You're not thinking like, oh, I need to guard my heart, I need to guard my mind, I need to be careful what relationships I'm interacting with. And there is something to discerning, you know, every conversation that you're having, the DMs that you're going through. And a long time ago, I actually decided to not read my DMs at all. And I feel like I've gotten a little bit of, you know, flack from that because people are like, oh, we don't care. Like you should respond to these because we're asking these questions

and I have to say like, I pray for the people that DM me, I genuinely do, and I pray I say, God, like if people are asking me questions that I need to answer, would your Holy Spirit just like answer it through the podcast? And I'm doing your answer it through the post that I'm making or sometimes I'll do polls or I'll ask questions so I can get a gauge on what people need or what people are listening to but for me

personally I had to create a boundary between me and my followers and that boundary was not going through DMs and it wasn't because I don't love the people that follow me and wish I could do read through all of them but for me I was in a time of my life where I was dealing with so much anxiety and fear. And I had a lot of creepy men in my DMs. And whenever I would go to my DMs and I would be trying to just look at some,

you know, college girl DMing me something sweet, I ended up seeing some creeper who said something disgusting. And for my mind and my heart, I had to to create a boundary and that boundary was to stop looking and my other Boundary and social media was to stop looking at the explorer page because for me personally like I couldn't guard my heart against it because you never know like what's gonna pop up on your explorer page And I don't do that now sometimes I'll look at my explorer page and I'll go look at reels and stuff page and I don't do that now sometimes I'll look at my explorer page and I'll go look at Reels and stuff but I have to like discern where I'm at and like what my intention is on social

media and to your point of like girls designed to be seen and known that's not a bad desire in and of itself and I read the study one time and this girl was talking about why she feels like fame is such a desirable thing for our generation. And she argued that it was the number one desire of our generation. And she said it's because we want to feel seen and we want to feel known and we want to know people care about us and we want to feel loved. And all of those things are true about who we are as human.

We do want to feel seen and we want to feel loved and we want to feel known. But we have to understand that fame and social media is not the thing that's going to make us feel those things. And that's why this book is talking about like, who are we following? If you're following fame, if you're following these people, if you're following this algorithm,

or you're trying to like DM all these people, or these companies, or these agents, or take these kind of pictures or post this kind of angle just to gain that, it's never gonna make you feel known. It's never gonna make you feel love because those are things that only Jesus can do for you and only real relationships with real people

with real humans can do for you. And so I just love that point. And I was like, yeah, I'm like, we can't move on from that. Cause that was so good. I love that. And say, you know what, I think Timothy Keller, before someone I was like, yeah, I'm like, we can't move on from that because that was so good. I love that. And I think Timothy Keller, before someone I got married, we did some pre-marital counseling and one of his books we read was The Meaning of Marriage. And in this book, I'm sure you know this quote, he writes, I always get it wrong, but basically he writes, you know,

to be fully known and not loved is kind of disheartening but to be loved but not fully known is kind of superficial. I'm obviously not quoting it right but to be fully known and fully loved is kind of a lot like how God loves us and I think you said it just so so perfectly so you know if you compare that with social media social media you might be known, but you're not loved. So where does that lead you? That's so crazy. Literally, I have to open this because I think it's chapter, let's see.

Yeah, from like to love, that quote is literally the start of the chapter. I love it. So it says to be love, but not known is comforting, but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be love, but not known as comforting, but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.

It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us. That was great. That was so good. I'm so glad you brought that up because when I was writing this, my mind would jump to the same quote. And I was like, that's the thing.

It's like social media. It in and of itself isn't making these false promises. But when you look at it, like, and you see people crushing it, and you see these influencers killing it, what you see is like someone who's so loved and who's so known and who's people care about them and then you say, I want that life. But you don't know behind the curtain, you don't know behind the screen what that's like

and you can have all the followers in the world and feel like the loneliest person if you don't have those truly, those true things like the true love of God and the true love of people. I read a stat recently that said one out of three adults in the same age or currently feel lonely nearly all the time. One out of three feel lonely nearly all. And then there was a further study that was done that did research and they correlated loneliness with insecurity. And they said that people that feel more lonely

are likely to have more deep rooted insecurity. And people, by first of that, have, you know, deep rooted insecurity are likely to feel more lonely. And you know what? I think what that leads me to is asking like, why do you feel lonely? Were you rejected?

Were you not accepted? Were you not included into something? What is the feeling that you are desiring to feel like? What relationships are you desiring for? And you know what? I don't think that that feeling of loneliness, saying necessary needs to be a bad thing because I know for me, personal experience that I have been through, where I walk through a season of real deep loneliness,

where literally I moved continents and was a really long flight away from all my best friends and all my family plus the time zone change and some of them I were engaged at the time, but we were still living in different states and barely ever saw each other because we're both so busy. It's left me to fall into a really deep season of loneliness and not having community literally right around me, around me tangible community, people that I can sit and have a coffee with, open the word of God with and read that with. So I feel like my season of loneliness laid me to digging deeper to understanding what is it that I truly desire. And you know, I ran out and I made some really good, awesome friends that I can call it any

time that is right here in Jacksonville, Florida, that go to church with me that is my community, are my community, whatever the tints are. Awesome. Take a language here. I don't do a great thing. I think that that can be a pointer for us to say, hey, you're feeling lonely. What can we do about it? It's great.

I love that, Demy. And I think that that's such a good motivation for people to hear because, you know, people look at you and they might say, oh, I never would have thought you would have felt lonely, but you built this community. And I was talking to Jenny Allen the other day and I was telling her about how hard it's been to build a community where I am and how I have now.

But it's been so sweet. But I was like, yeah, it's been so hard to make friends. I was like, I started a Bible study on Saturday mornings and it's been great at my house, and you know, just kind of building that community. And now I just feel like I have some good friends, but it took a lot of effort. And she started laughing. She was like, say, you need to share that more because people think you have all these friends because like, you posted all these people, but you need to talk about how it's hard to build community. And I think that's the thing. Like, we need to, need to, we're focusing on building this platform,

thinking that followers get you this community, but really, you gotta focus on building it in your own life too and building takes work. We're about to start building a house. Building is hard. Building takes effort. Building takes showing up. Building takes looking at what needs to be done and doing it. That's the same with building a community. Like you have to actually say, okay, I'm going to go out and make effort today, you know, and choose to be, you know, not only vulnerable but brave in that because it is scary, you know, it is. And say these words. So sorry, you go ahead, Bella. No, you go, girl, you go. I was just going to say the enemy thrives when we are lonely, you know, and he wants us to be lonely because that's when he keeps in and tells us all these lies and we have no one to bounce

that off with. So I was just going to say, you know, he loves loneliness and he wants us to be lonely and he just can't have him win. No, he does thrive in loneliness and I've seen that because there's been times where I've been like surrounded by community and I feel this weird feeling of loneliness and I ask myself why and one time I felt like God really revealed to me it's because I'm not I'm not sharing within my life you know and it was kind of like by choice that I was lonely not intentionally I was just thinking like oh no one understands me but I never tried to allow people to I never share within the hard stuff And that goes back to that vulnerability and that's real vulnerability That's not like I'm captioning this and it still looks good That's like I'm gonna cry in front of you and tell you like what I'm walking through

But those are the moments that you really connect and like become friends and so it's so worth it So good. Are you gonna say me? Well, it was on a whole different topic now Right, just saying I was gonna say it's cool because the quote by Timothy Keller is so powerful because he does know God, but there is a quote from actually Jim Carey, who's known as like a more secular person. And his quote said that he said one time, I wish everyone could feel one day what it feels

like to have all the money in the world and to be known by it, to be seen by everyone in the world. I wish they could feel it for one day so that they would know that it's not everything. And like that one thing I think is really cool because it's not just people who know God, who say that people who don't know God too are saying like, it's not enough. This isn't everything for me. Even if they are, like Jim Kerry is known by everybody in the world. Everybody knows where Jim Kerry and like he's saying,

it's not enough. Like it won't be everything for you. Yeah. That's crazy. Y'all, I feel like hitting that quote. I think that quote is literally in live or this, but because that hit me too, it's like, it's everybody. That's why I said the desire for is not bad. Everyone has a desire. I think God put those desires in us because He created us for a community and He created us from a place of love because He literally is love.

And so our hearts are always longing after God, but we don't realize that that desire truly is the essence of who God is. And so we have to find that in him. And social media is just one of the many things that we can just place as an idol in our life. And I think that's what we have to realize. Like social media can become an idol.

And when it becomes an idol, that's when it gets bad. But whenever it comes as a just a gift and an app and a tool and we get to you know Go on to that from the place of God being in the right position on the throne of our life Like that's when it gets healthy and that's when it gets really cool and powerful Yeah, so Demi back to the question. I asked you like 20 minutes ago This is no this is why I asked y'all to be on this because when one, Dimmie and Tim were so kind to write the forward to this book.

But Dimmie represents this message more than anyone I can think of. Truly, I'm not just saying that because you're on this podcast. Like, whenever I wrote this book and I think of who is an example of this, like Dimmie Teebo. Like, because you love Jesus and you love people so well and you're an incredible influencer for on Instagram but you're also an incredible influence in life and so I just I learned a lot from you and I'm so glad that you're willing to have this conversation but like I mentioned earlier you know you definitely have this amazing platform that's almost unrelatable to so many people because like missed universe is such a giant title, you know, and you own it so well and you're so humble in it. But having that and facing that and having girls maybe look at you and say she does not understand what I'm going through.

I want you to kind of speak to that human aspect of things that you walk through that you're like, actually girl, I get it. Cause I'm a girl and I'm human and I've walked through those seasons of maybe insecurities and stuff because I think that'll be eye opening for people and not to say like, I don't like it when people feel like someone has to be dragged down for them to fill-if-it-up. That's not what we're doing. Because I think we need to have a confidence in ourselves

to be able to celebrate people's highs. But I do want us to understand that sometimes with social media, when someone has a blue check and people think this about myself as well, or Bella, or whoever, they think, oh, well, they don't relate to me. But I know you on a friend level, and gosh, you can speak to anyone with the wisdom

in your heart. So I love for you to just kind of speak to that for a second. Well, say you're so, so sweet. And just say everything you said is, I'm so honored that coming from you because in my life, you are such a role model to me. And I know too so many young girls,

but God say, I appreciate everything that you just said. But to be bluntly honest, I bear still some days where I'm trying to figure it out and where I definitely am not the greatest role model and I don't do things perfectly. And that is because I'm human and I'm learning along the way, right? I think, you know, a lot of people, well, let me backtrack, first of all, I think I look at people with a blue tick and I'm like I think they're life's perfect and then I look at myself and I'm like oh but I have a blue tick with my life is not perfect. So I you know I even forget that sometimes and I have to remind myself that sometimes that

we're all just people and you know what doesn't matter if you have a million followers or if you have ten we all have the ability to influence someone's life. Even if that's just one person's life. And I heard you speak on this recently, I think you're at Liberty and I just loved everything that you talked about and I couldn't have agreed more on it. You know, say to me, when I when I won Miss South African and then Miss Universe, you know, I gain a lot of social media followers most to I barely ever knew know, being a representative for my country is a big responsibility. I am representing basically the whole South Africa here on this stage and that is a big responsibility.

And I knew that back then, but I don't think I really realized the impact that you can make in someone's life through a social media platform. And you know what, I don't think it was until probably about two years ago where I had handed over my title as Miss Universe, Lizzy Hennett over my Crownness Miss Universe, where I was I was the like the most broken down, the most insecure that I had probably ever been in my whole entire life. And I think one of those reasons was because to be very honest with you, I had put in,

I put, put in, what am I saying? Can I not speak English today? I had put all of my identity, all of who I was into a physical title, not that that title was bad, but I had focused everything that I was and that I stood for and that I am in that role and that role only lasted a short amount of time. You know fall writes in in Corinth 1 Corinth 9 25 and he writes to the church of corn 925 and he writes to the the Church of of corn and he's referencing the Ismian games and he's speaking about the athletes there that won this perishable ground and he's referencing to the scram that it's that's made out of pine and salary leaves and he's writing to the Church of corn it's kind of like the Olympic Games back then, it was a big deal, and the winners got this

read that is literally so perishable. I mean, wouldn't even last a couple of days. And Paul saying, don't chase perishable crowns. I mean, yeah, the crown that I wore on my head was probably not physically perishable, but what it represented was. And don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for the title that I that I got to represent and for my country and Just everything that come with it was one of the greatest honours of my life

But you know what at some point we're gonna graduate college So are you putting your identity in that college degree? Are you putting your identity in that specific job that you want, or that specific company that you want to work on, or the amount of books that we're selling, or the amount of followers, what is it that you're putting your identity in, because I can promise you from my own experience that worldly things will perish, and they won't last, and they won't keep fulfilling you. That's right.

That's so good, Demi. I've heard you say that before and I think that's such a perfect picture of what we do. We put on these imperishable crowns and they become our full identity. And I think anytime your identity becomes something other than child of God, things get off. Things get off and security comes, you start feeling all these feelings you never felt before because you're almost wearing a mask, you know, you're trying to be someone that you are originally created to be. And I think those are the moments that comparison really does hit because when you're

identified as something as so many other people in the world are identified by, then you're looking around like who's better, you know? But when you're identified as this originally created child of God like there's no other person to look at to compare yourself to you and People ask me all the time like about comparison just because that's such a prevalent thing And like how do you stop comparing yourself? And I think for me like when I could stop comparing, is when I genuinely started to see other people as daughters of Christ as well. Like, your daughters have got, I'm a daughter of God.

Like, we're all made to love God and to love people. And God made you for a specific purpose man. He made me for that. And so I can own where I'm at. And I can celebrate where you're at. But it's whenever I try to do something worldly, that's whenever I'm like competitive, you know, and like trying to do something worldly, that's whenever I'm like competitive, and like trying to be better or whatever. And I remember the first time I met you actually

at Passion and I don't even know that we fully met, but you came in and like, I'm not gonna lie, like my first thought was a little insecure, okay? Like you look so cute, you had your little jacket on and I was no joke, we're in like this like passion hat and like a sweatshirt and sweat pants. And I was like dang yeah, and me and Chris said, just got married and like, you know how do you like see

some of beautiful and like you're with your husband, you just get insecure. And it's just like an honest thought. Okay, that's just like my honest like first thing. And then I was like, okay, say you are not gonna sit here and do that. Like, look at how awesome this is that like God has placed this incredible couple who's on fire for the kingdom of God in this generation to not only like be an amazing example, but

to do things like go after stopping human sex trafficking and human trafficking and to literally go after some of these huge world problems that the Tim Teema Foundation is doing and the things that you're doing with your husband and like how crazy and sad would it been if I would have missed that and celebrating you guys and partnering with y'all and loving y'all and being your friend because I sat there and was like she's gorgeous but I know that silly, but that's literally what we do. Like that's literally what so many girls fall into. And that's our stupid stuff

like I did in high school and middle school, where you would not want to cheer someone on just because you thought they were better. And I'm glad I graduated from that. And I grew up from that. And I was like, I don't allow myself to go there. I stopped those thoughts. And I just want to say to girls,

like how they're listening, you have control of your thoughts like let the Holy Spirit like come in and refine your thoughts and actually like make you a better person and I think some some people say like well if you are jealous that person and you cheer them on then is that like not authentic and I'm like no that's actually calling yourself to be who you really are. It's actually the most authentic thing. And sometimes it feels unnatural because you've been living the other way for so long. So I just wanted to make that point because, again,

these are just relatable things that people who are listening, I'm sure you walk through on an everyday basis. And what I want to do is I just want to call us to be better. Like if we're going to be a generation known for social media, I want to be a generation who learned from social media and can give advice to the next. And when honey gets on Instagram, I can say, hey, look girl, like, yeah, there's some darkness on here,

but you are the light of the world. And these are things I navigated through. These are things that I walk through these things that sell my friends and just do it better. And so such good advice. I want to talk a little bit about that word influencer that you mentioned in that conversation. I had it liberty and it was so interesting

because I asked the crowd, I said, who in here is famous? And literally no one raised their hand, but like two people as a joke. And then I said, okay, who in here is an influencer? And no one raised their hand. And I started to realize like, okay, who in here is an influencer? And no one raised their hand. And I started to realize, like, dang, like, we have, like, placed this huge word influencer

in this tiny box of a blue check mark. And who has a swipe up blank? And who has the biggest following? And who, you know, has this specific job as an Instagram influencer? But I was like, that's so wrong because if you're a Christian, then you are the ultimate influencer. Because influencer and influence literally by definition is having

the power to affect and to change someone's behavior. And so I love your point. You said you could have a million followers, you could have 10 followers, but knowing that you're an influencer really matters, knowing that you have the power to influence someone's behavior, not because of who you are, but because you have the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of living God who raised you from the dead in your heart, in your voice, like that changes people's life.

And so, Bella and I were talking this morning about how do you bring that faith that you have onto your online platform. And sometimes that, in and of itself, can be a hard thing to navigate. And so, Bill, you want to talk a little bit about navigating through that and kind of the thoughts you've had towards that.

Yeah, I think for me, my social media following has always been very like a lot of Christian people because a lot of my followers know Sadie and find me and that's just how my Instagram following has been. And ever since I came out with this poetry book this past year, that, and find me. And that's just how my Instagram following has been. And ever since I came out with this poetry book this past year, that's not necessarily Christian. It's like, it's not secular, but it's not Christian. It's just kind of thoughts. And ever since I came out with that, I think I got a little more insecure about like what to

share. Because before that, it was just like, I was sharing whatever I felt like. And when I came out with this book, I got really worried about like, oh no, this book isn't like a Christian book, and I don't want people to like, not buy it because they think it is, or I don't want people to buy it because I think it's not, I don't, you know, I just got really worried about that. And I started to really have to like pray

and like think about how I was going to use my social media and what I was going to do with it. And I think that intention with social media, especially when you have such a large following, I think it's really important to be intentional with everything you post. And like beforehand it was just like I was sharing my regular thoughts every day life. And like now I think I've started to get a little more intentional with everything I post because I know it makes a big impact And I think that's one thing like people who are influencers have to realize is like if you have a following

Bigger small like you have influence on people and like you need to be intentional about what you share and like not just like every post has to be like perfectly Crafted to like inspire someone but you do have to be careful about what you post and like, know that I have the potential to like make a change in someone's life. And that's something that I've really tried to like grab hold of is like, I have like a potential to like truly help someone out of like a really dark place. And like, I've been there where like I needed people on social media to like I've been there, I needed people on social media

to be influencing me because if I was getting on social media and it was going to negatively influence me, then it was just going to take me worse down the pole of a bad place. And so I think that's something I realized is, if I can be a light on the stream to anyone, then I would love to do that. I love that. I love that.

I think that intention is so beautiful because that's something, just like that discernment, that intention is the same thing that we sometimes forget because it's just second nature. You just get on and you just do whatever, but there is something to genuinely thinking, what is my purpose in doing this? And I love how you said, you have the power to impact someone's life and you said you need to realize that. Yeah.

I think that's the thing for people out there, big or small following, whoever you are, like you have the power to influence someone's life. And I think we sometimes think that if you don't have a big following, then you don't have this power. But I asked the people at Liberty, I said, who is truly the biggest influence on your life? And I was like, your mom, your cousin, your best friend, your teachers, your people in your life. It's really not the people you follow on social media. It's really the people in your life. And so realize people out there listening who you social media,

that I could post something that might impact someone's life. And that's amazing, but we might not be able to go sit and have coffee and talk about it. But you could post something to your 1000 followers, and someone can message you and say, can we go talk about that? Like, can we go sit and have a conversation? And that's how you build relationship.

That's how you build your own, like, I guess identity and who you are in Christ, that's how you build, you know, your own, like, I guess identity and who you are in Christ, that's how you fulfill your purpose. Like that's when everything gets special about social media. And I think the only thing we're missing is that intention. Right. So I love that point, Bella. The thing is too, it's like it's not just us saying it's biblical. Like the power of life and death is in your words. Yeah. And like that's not secluded to just influencers or just famous people it's like the power of life and death is in

everybody's words exactly the way we speak is mean something but in contrast by la I so agree with you but I will also say even though you're you know your pojibreg might not be specifically faith-based you, Vigmai, might not be specifically faith-based. To not always say, you know, spread the good news of the gospel every single day and use words when necessary. You know, so you can spread the word of God, you can spread the good news of the gospel in so many different ways. And I think the Lord has equipped each and every one of us with specific gifts to be able to do that.

Maybe your gift is compassion. Maybe your gift is worth. Maybe your gift is having a large online following that you can speak to. So, I think we should also not limit what God can do through His, all mighty, He is powerful, He is capable of anything and everything. We are co-laborers with God.

And you know what, when God tells us to do something, our responsibility is to show up and do it because He will always do His part, He will always do His job. We have to do our part. And if that means writing a book or a poetry book or taking photographs to show the beauty of of God's creation be obedient in doing what God is calling you to do it does not I don't think a person I don't think you need to be a preacher or you know studying have a doctorate in theology to be able to spread the good news of the Lord Jesus Christ. Come on, yes!

I cannot agree more, Jimmy. And even, that's what I started this and I'm talking about how much I love our dance videos. And that's a part of that, because I feel like the Lord has put on my heart. Literally, the Lord has put on my heart to show people what joy looks like and to show people what love looks like, because that's a fruit of who got is.

And so I'm like, okay, that's fun. I'll do that. And that's not sitting there and giving a sermon all the time. That's just loving my husband, loving my daughter and dancing. And like, Demi, I know we've talked about, you have this beautiful opportunity to model in a lot of different places and different spaces. And I remember one day we talked about that and you're like, yeah, just, you know, I love that. That's a part of who I am. And I'm like, that's awesome because like,

there's so many girls who are modeling out there who are like, how do I, is this vain? If I do this, if I just post selfies, whatever. But it's a part of like, your reach. It's a part of like, God using like what he's putting you in your gifting Christian. And I had a conversation this morning Where he started this whole workout ministry and he was like I don't want to post pictures of me working out because it's just like awkward and I just feel like I feel like I'm doing it and it's like showing off me and I was like babe No, like that's how you reach people like you're on mission and Like meeting people where you're at not having to to preach, I love what you say, like use words when necessary,

but let your life live the story. And that's the thing with social media, like, you know, you don't have to overthink it. Let who you are just impact, you know, what you do on social media. Don't change who you are for social media, who you are should have the impact on it. Do you think that's the best place to end what you just said there?

And there's a statistic that I read recently and I put it in the book that on average people and their life will spend six years and eight months on social media. And that is an alarming statistic, but it's not necessarily horrible if we use it for good. And if we use those six years in our life and we make it count, because it's

an incredible place for influence, you don't have to be a pastor, you don't have to be a preacher, you don't have to have a million followers, you have influence because the spirit of living God is inside of you and the way that you walk and the way that you breathe and the way that you talk and the way that you smile is going to impact someone's life for good with every post you make, you never know the opportunity for a relationship that's on the other side of that. And so be you, be who you are. Don't let social media change you.

Let your spirit inside of you change it. And so Bella and Dime, thank you for being incredible social media influencers. But really real life influencers. And thank you for just having this conversation. I hope that to everyone listening, this is a tool for you to reflect back to, to relate to, to think through as you think about going on social media. And I hope that you realize that finding all things

in Jesus' first is the most important thing. And when you find that, everything else falls in the place to say. Thank you to for being such a good example. Oh, thanks, Sadie. Thanks, Bella. Oh thanks Sadie, thanks Bella!