WHOOP Podcast - Bert Kreischer on Getting Healthier Without Losing the Fun

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

On this episode of the WHOOP Podcast, WHOOP Founder & CEO Will Ahmed sits down with comedian Bert Kreischer for a candid and light-hearted conversation on how “the average guy” uses WHOOP. Bert shares his personal experience as a long-time WHOOP wearer, how it helped to improve his health and fitness journey despite spending months on tour. From prioritizing longevity habits like weightlifting, sauna, cold plunge, and optimizing sleep habits, to still allowing himself to party and live life fully, this episode blends comedy with real talk about balance and what it actually means to get healthier.(01:03) Bert Kreischer: Why WHOOP Is For “The Average Person”(2:09) The Impact WHOOP Has Had on Bert’s Lifestyle(09:53) Opinions on Longevity(11:42) Bert’s Mission to Improve His Fan’s Health(15:25) Finding Habits To Create A Healthier Life(20:38) Comparing Routines: How Will Prepares For A Day at WHOOP vs. Bert’s Preshow Routine(24:20) Harnessing The Creative Process(31:01) Impact of Improving Sleep Quality(37:14) Evolution of Bert’s Metrics(42:03) Maintaining Childlike Fun As An Adult(46:37) Building A Career As A Comedian: Knowing Your Audience(56:39) Growing As A Comedian(01:12:14) How The Comedy World Has ChangedFollow Bert Kreischer:InstagramTiktokYouTubeSupport the showFollow WHOOP:Sign up for WHOOP Advanced LabsTrial WHOOP for Freewww.whoop.comInstagramTikTokYouTubeXFacebookLinkedInFollow Will Ahmed:InstagramXLinkedInFollow Kristen Holmes:InstagramLinkedInFollow Emily Capodilupo:LinkedIn 

I am someone that party is pretty hard, but I do care about my health. I've never not worn a whoop. You look at me, I party, I'm fat, I take my shirt off on stage, I talk shit on stage, I talk shit on podcasts. I measure my whoop stats religiously. I've run the L.A. Marathon with no training. I did triathlons. I've done half marathon. I run my own 5K.

As childlike as I am in life with drugs and alcohol, I then refocus in like a very serious way about fitness. I'm like a huge oxymoron. I'm fucking six years older in my biometric age. average person that gets a whoop is just trying to be a little bit healthier. My favorite part of life is the uncomfortable part. That is where all the growth has had. If you had not come in as a sponsor for Sober October, I'm not certain my health would have maintained,

at least at the level it's at, because I've really, really enjoyed checking my metrics, logging my workouts, checking my sleep, all of it. Life is fleeting. Tomorrow's never promised. Enjoy life. Have fun. But have fun within the parameters of expecting you're going to

live a long time and you want to meet your grandkids. Are we rolling? Fuck Michael Phelps. Here's the deal. No one can relate to that guy. Okay, I watched him in a golf. His heart rate was 154. And you're like, okay, hold on.

Wait, what are we doing here? And then he stretches to hit a golf ball. Listen, Michael, you're a fucking champion. I get it. And I know this will go to your way. I know how to podcast work. But the truth is, he's not relatable as a regular whoop user. You're talking in 2019, I started wearing a whoop.

My resting heart rate, average, you got the numbers. I'm sure you have them. Usually around. 87. That's the regular whoop user. Listen, fuck Huberman, fuck Peter Attia. You can use that one.

Fuck Jeffrey Epstein. Fuck, here's the deal. When you talk about longevity, no one is getting 99 sleep scores every morning. Everyone's in the red. Everyone's in the red trying to get through their fucking day. The whoop is a tool to help you do a little bit better. I watch you do an interview with the guy who's like,

37, biometric age, 27. And I was like, I'm fucking six years older in my biometric age. The average person that gets a whoop is just trying to be a little bit healthier. You know, the beautiful thing about your company is that we met through Sobara October. Totally. And you reached out and you said, 2018, I think. 2018. Or 2019.

I've been a member since. Once I put this on, it's never come off. I wore it in free birth my series on Netflix. I saw that. And they said to me, can we take that off you? And I went, no. This is a story about Burke Kreischer. Burk Kreisher always wears a whoop.

I've never not worn a whoop. The only time I take it off and I'm willing to change this for stock interest is all my specials. I always take it off from the specials. I always take it out and they have to color my arm. They have to paint my arm because I wear it that much. Now, the average person you need to talk to is my dad,

is my sister, is my brother-in-law, is the guys on tour with me by bus driver who just had a heart attack. That's who the who the whoop is useful for. because what the whoop does is it makes you aware of your surroundings. It makes you aware of certain things like resting heart rate, like your V-O-2 max, like your, look, HRV, I'll never understand. But it makes you aware of your sleep and how important your sleep is. And then you start researching these things and you realize every hour before midnight that you go to sleep is worth two hours.

And you go, well, I'm going to get to bed a little earlier. And Michael Phelps and LeBron, they're getting 21s on their strain score. look, if I get a 7.7, I'm through the roof. But the fact that I can track that, that is the usefulness of this product. And sometimes I'm afraid that companies like this, and even the people that work here, forget about, you ready for this? The lady who's checking us in downstairs. Like, those are the markers. That's the average American, her.

Not the people that work here that all have smart, have on shoes. And, you know, like, it's the average American. And that's what I love about when you reached out to us It's like how healthy do you get in a month of not drinking? Dude, I have not been drinking this month My resting heart rate, which is it's and these are the interesting things to talk about Yeah, let's talk about it has gone from I think now granted I had a blood clot in my leg When I started not drinking

But I love my whoop I love my whoop It went from let's look at resting heart rate That's so great by the way your dashboard when you customize your dashboard It's nice And I want a whoop to tour because a lot of users, because we gave them out on our tour. Fully loaded, we gave them to all the comedians. Comedians don't know them on.

They take a look at their sleep. That's really it. Dude, average heart rate is 67. Resting heart rate today, 63. But that's down from my resting heart rate was 84. Oh, my gosh. On January 8th. And that was when I had the blood clot and I was in a lot of pain.

84. Early January drinking a little bit. Stop drinking for ready. One, two, three days. resting heart rate 64. These are the stats I find fascinating. I love tracking things. And then as it levels out, 68, 70, 65, 62, 64, 68, 63, 59.

That's when you know you're making improvements. Totally. 60, 56, 56, 54, 60, 63, 59. I mean, when I saw 54, my dick got hard. That's the point. That's the beauty of this product is like, look, I've found. follow, you know, I don't know if you sponsor these professional servers, Nathan Florence, Coa Rothman, John John Florence.

I don't think so. Oh, bro. Check their whoops scores out. Well, I mean, I don't just deep dive on people's data for the record. They post them. They post them. Oh, okay, okay. That's cool.

They post them. And Nathan Florence is in the 20s. I mean, I think the most you can get is 21. Oh, yeah, yeah, in terms of a strain score. The strain score that these athletes have is preposterous. Yeah. So for people listen to Sir, like, what are we talking about? It's a scale from zero to 21, but it gets increasingly hard to go up.

It's exponential. Can I just pitch the product to the average person? Please. Sometimes I feel like, sometimes I feel like your vision goes right over their heads a little bit. Here's the beauty. You have a strain coach. Point taken. Your strain coach takes a look at your sleep throughout the night and says,

hey, man, a great workout for you would be 11.1 today. And then it puts it on like a scale. And so you know what you have to go for. So if you're like me and say it's a Sunday and you partied Saturday night and your strain coach is like, hey, if we can get to 10, that's a killer day. That's a win. Right? Yeah. So then that's measurable for me. Then I go, I did everything I can do today.

That's the beauty of this product. And so at a 10, I get on the treadmill and I walk at a 3.5 at a 3 incline. And I'm going and I'm looking at my strain score and I go, let's push it a little bit. Let's see if we can get up to a run to a 5.5. We'll lower it down to a one incline. just get our heart rate up because you're tracking it in the zones and you go the higher your zones you are the more and it really rewards high intensity training it rewards long long stretches of I love this product I love it probably as much as you do because I am someone that that parties

pretty hard right but I do care about my health right which is it yeah I mean in some ways that makes sense I suppose yeah look there are people that smoke cigarettes and they don't work out and they don't think about, you know, and I understand that. You're not going to change that person. But you know who you'll change is the average person who does a dry January, the average person who does a sober October. The average person who says,

I want to try, I want to get in shit, I want to try to lose a little bit. Wait, the average person that gets on Manjaro, or these GLP ones, I'm on Manjaro right now. And I did it because my cardiologist said, listen, man, you have a lot of visceral fat. We have to drop that. Yeah.

You have 90 pounds of visceral fat. And I was like, wow. When did you start taking that? November 3rd, my birthday. Okay, so you've been on it for a few months? I've been on for a few months. I'm down 40 pounds. Oh, amazing.

Yeah. Congrats. Thank you. So do you believe in the product? No, no. I mean, hold on. I believe in the product as much as I believe in Zoloft. Okay.

It is a band-aid on a bigger problem. In my opinion, I don't know how I'll react around food. I really don't. I just know I'm not hungry all the time and I'm not snacking all the time. And when I do eat, I kind of get full a little faster. And I think my eating habits have gotten a tad bit worse because I was having such a hard time regulating to the product. And if you're talking to Bert Chrysler, the comedian, it takes your sparkle away a little bit. You know, if you're a guy defined by...

It's kind of, I mean, that's kind of a fascinating thing, right? You've got this identity as sort of like being the average guy. You take your shirt off, you get the belly. You know, what if you have a six-pack up there? You're probably a little less funny, right? No. Yeah. No.

Not remotely. Wouldn't work. I mean, look. Or it would work. It would work. I don't, I'm willing to find out. Yeah, well, I mean, actually you should try to do it. I've never, listen, put me in that corner.

I would love to try that. I would, it's never happen. As skinny as I've gotten, I did lucky, I was, I was like 227 when I did lucky. No one noticed that I lost weight. No one, not one comment. Not one comment. Huh. Yeah.

227, I still look fast. But I think I look regular. I look regular. I look regular. Right. I'm 2.30. And I don't think you'd say I'm in shape. But I can bench 225, 12 times. I'm, you know, like I'm... You're strong. I mean, you shared your data with us. Your strength training is actually making you younger on whoop. I mean, you got some counterfactuals there, too. Counterfactuals? Is that what we call alcohol? Counterbalances, maybe is the right way to say it? But do you look at my info and does it make you go like, what? What's wrong with him? No, I mean, I find it inspiring. Like, you're a religious whoop user, clearly. You haven't missed a day of data in like seven, eight years. Isn't that crazy?

And the product's telling you that you're 6.25 years older. And so, and, you know, to your credit, you're saying, look, if I can dial in a few more of these things, that'll go in the right direction. My goal is not to be. And you don't want to be 20 years older. But no, I don't want to be 20 years older. If I can get to my actual age, I mean, that's like, that should be everyone's goal. It's like, yo, you're your age. There's a guy, there's a guy.

I'm fucking forgetting his name. God, I wish I had his name right now. We did a thing on something's burning. And we both had whoops. And he goes, did you get your fucking biometric age? And I go, yeah. He goes, dude, how depressing is that? I was like, no shit.

And he goes, pull yours up. And we're both 56. And he goes, oh, we're both 56. It's not that bad. I go, I'm 53. He goes, I'm 37. It's my favorite clip. I might just to be my age.

Or if you could be a year younger, shut up. Yeah. But also, look, life is fleeting. You know, Carpe Diem, tomorrow's never promised. And so enjoy life. Have fun, you know. But have fun within the parameters of expecting you're going to live a long time

and you want to meet your grandkids. So you must think what like a Brian Johnson is doing is preposterous. No, no, I don't. What's crazy is like, I'm a ridiculous human being. Like, I make no sense. I really don't. And I met Brian Johnson

and I like what he does and I'll take from what he does. Now here's what I want from Brian Johnson and Huberman and Gary Brecker and and Brigham. All my guys that I trust with biomarkers and longevity

and yourself. I need a weekend in Vegas with those guys. Right? And I want to find the cheat code to make my Monday as strong as it can be. Like we fly home Sunday.

What's the protocol for Sunday? That's where I Like I always I come up with products like you I think what could help me like I thought of one today I'm gonna pitch it to you by the way if you love it and you want to use it as a product and develop it We can edit it out and we'll just share in the millions of dollars Great this product's bring in you ready for this? Yeah, this is like a mini shark tank It's a device that you put in your toilet and it measures how much water do you split you displace when you take a shit So you find out how big your shits are how fun would it be to track how big your shits are right and it just

gives you a score every day. Every day. It's like, that was a big shit. It was a big one. Like, yeah, and then,

but then it also has pH balance, acidicate, all the stuff that you can do. By the way, there is a company that's doing this. Are you fucking getting? Yeah,

this is a brilliant idea. Yeah. I buy it. And then, but I wanted to talk to me. Like, whoa, this is a big one.

Like a speaker phone in the toilet. Oh my God. Water's, tsunami. Soon. I want, I want it to talk to me through the toilet like God.

Well, if the product does exist, we would probably integrate the data. We would bring it into whoop. It would be another set. Speaking of integrating data as a whoop user, at what point did you have access to my steps? I mean, we've had steps, I think, for the last two years now.

Okay. However, one day I'm sitting on my treadmill and I look at my whoop and it says 10,000 steps. I went, hold on, I didn't change this. I didn't send this in. This was my same whoop. All you had to do is turn a thing on. At what point did you go, oh, we've been tracking. steps for fucking four years.

Well, the thing about steps is it's not that hard relative to the things that we do at Whoop. Oh, for real? Yeah. Like, I mean, steps is really just a, it's a mathematical equation on accelerometry and essentially how much you're moving. So I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've tried all of them. I've tried every single one there is.

Uh, uh, ORA. Yeah. Uh, I was a huge, huge Fitbit user. Like, I, Fitbit with a little pocket one, like a, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've with a little pocket one, like a pager. And they did a good job speaking to the everyday consumer like we were talking about. Yeah. Oh, they did it crazy.

They were like, get your steps, you know. Yeah. Garmin, and I stopped wearing Garmin the second you clicked over steps. I won't even put it on. I run races, you know. We have two bears 5K, which I'd be so cool if you did a partnership with. We are in our fans. You know why we started our 5K?

because we thought to ourselves, we're getting in shape and our fans are going to die. They look just like us. We need to get them in shape so that we have fans. We need fans to show up to shows. That's a good point. Yeah, right? What do we, what are we doing if we're going to get in shape?

We're going to outlive our fans. We need our fans get in shape. And the first person to get in shape was jelly roll. That was the very first person. He lost a ton of weight. Yeah, he's, I mean... He was on whoop at one point, I think. Someone sent me a photo of him wearing one.

Yeah, I'm sure. He, we did, we announced the Two Bears 5K. We called a bunch of comedians. And then Jelly went on the Nelk Boys podcast. He was, I think, 540. I don't know. He was large. The biggest he's ever been.

I mean, 540 is beyond large. Godd love to know his biometric age of 540. How fun would have jellies. That would have been a great world evolution. I mean, he probably lost like 20 years on his biological age. Do you think that way? Like, yo, we should grab a fat guy. Do you think?

Because that's, I mean, that's the, I mean, if you had. I mean, I don't frame it quite the way you said it. But yes. Like the idea of That's the kind of talk That gets you in trouble In a corporate environment But it's it's

We do have this whole theme now around You know broadening into health I mean just to back up right Like the company from 2012 to 2020 Was really like athletes and fitness enthusiasts Yes And we had the best And we still have the best

You absolutely do And it's fun to watch them I'm not lying I'm not like I shit on Michael Phelps But the idea that he has not missed a workout In six fucking years Yeah, it's badass. It's inspiring.

And look, Michael Phelps is inspiring. So is LeBron. You know, you watch these guys and you're like, it's crazy. They make you dream of something bigger for yourself. And for some people that might be just getting a little healthier, right? Or investing a little bit of money in your health, meaning like. Totally. Like, LeBron has the hyperbaric chamber.

Oh, yeah. And I was like, I would like to try one. You know, like, I'm not going to buy one. But like, I'd try it. Or, or red light therapy. I have the, I use the mask and the stuff on my head. You're cold plunging now? I've been cold.

I've been an early adapter to cold plunging. Sona? I can tell you. Early adapter to sauna. Like, I probably started cold plunging in probably 2018. So, no, no, probably 2016. Oh, okay. So earlier.

Very early. The first time I heard Ronda Patrick talk about red light saunas, the... Yeah, red light therapy. Red light, no, no, the saunas, not the... Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, sorry, infrared sunnas. Yeah. Was the first time I heard about that. I did the cabin in probably 2,000.

And I got my first infrared sauna at my house then, but I was going to a place that had infrared saunas. The problem with infrared sauna. And by the way, I sound like an expert. This is just like layman's terms. No, but you're a guy who's trying stuff because, you know, on one side of your life, you go super hard. And then on the other side, you're kind of like, well, how can I offset that I want to behave like this from time to time? Or every day. Or every day.

Every day. I read like, whatever it's called, fucking that sauna, infrared sauna. You just got to stay in there too long. It's a 35-minute commitment. It's too long. Barrel sauna for me, it's 15 minutes, and if you get it cranked up, you're in there 15 minutes,

and you're feeling it. Renew Therapy is who I use for my cold plunges. I take a cold plunge on tour with me. Usually, if we're, you know, when we're doing arenas, we have like five or three semis. We'll throw one in there. And all the comedians,

when we do the big tour in the summer, all the comedians will do it. It's like a fully functioning plug-in. But I took it on, I used to take a bucket on tour with me and fill it with ice. I love cold therapy. I love, I love sauna. Sona's an everyday no matter what.

I love sauna. It's amazing. You gotta stay hydrated though. Because that's gonna, that would actually work against you. Because if you do a big sauna and then you don't drink water. Yeah. What's interesting to me is, you know, you hear the studies done on sauna. And they sound like studies.

That's all they sound like to me. You know, the fins have been doing this since the 50s, and they're long-jet. They live into their 80s. And then you go in after a workout, you can look at any of my dad, I'm sure you have it, but you're going after a workout, high-intensity workout, and then you get into the sauna, and you look at your whoop and you're like, huh, well, that's crazy, 122 beats per minute. I'm still kind of in cardiovascular. Zone 2 probably.

Zone 2, and there's no impact on my body. And if I stay in 15 minutes, I'm going to stay in zone 2. That's not bad. I have a crazy video I got to send you. A crazy video of me getting out of the sauna at 144 beats per minute with my whoop on the camera. The camera app, you know, where it tracks your heart rate. Oh, yeah, yeah. The whoop live in the app.

Woop live in the app. And I get in the cold plunge. And it plummets. Yeah, that's great. It plummets to like 64 beats per minute. And it's such a cool, you know. But that's a sign that you're a good cold plunger. Because there's some people, by the way, who get into a coal punch and their heart, it spikes because they freak out.

Yeah, no, I give myself like four breaths to calm down. It's altering to everybody. And then I box breathe for three minutes. So it's four in, hold it for four. Four out. Hold it for four. Yeah. I do that for five.

But yeah, same thing. I like box breathing. I like box breathing. It calms me down. And it's a way for me to measure. It's a distraction. I count. That's the biggest thing.

It's a distraction. hands out and I go for four and then like the Adams family and you're actually doing this the whole time I go like this I go and I know that's 16 seconds so I go all right you have a good snap too that helps thank you I met a girl who couldn't snap

Paige Spirac she can't snap in that way she can't whistle either can't do this yeah although I'm not very good at it oh I think the fatter you are the better you are it's a big finger you got you got yeah you got you got pen holding hands um yeah I love I love I love, I'll give you another invention.

Can I tell you, I don't know if you're ever going to get into running shoes. Why don't they make running shoes with metal detectors as the souls? So when you jog on the beach, you can find treasure. I don't think people jog on the beach, though, with sneakers. Oh, I do. You do? Oh, yeah, it fucks my, my arches. It's like bad for you on a lot of dimensions.

What, running on the beach? With shoes, yeah. Oh, I love it with shoes. I only run on the hard part, but it messes up my arches if I run. barefoot. Like I get my feet hurt so bad. Yeah. What did you, what did you, let me walk me through your day today. I want to know what your day looked like. I mean, it wasn't like a hyper performance day. What time you get up? I woke up at 630. Okay, that's crazy. Keep going. You, uh, what's the first thing you do when you wake up? This is, this is, look, I know you know the fucking,

you know the system. So what was the first thing you did when you woke up? I go straight to the bathroom, take a shower, and cold, and then go meditate. That's how I start every morning. Meditate. How long you meditate for? About 20 minutes. Wow. Married?

Some days 10. Married? Married. Get a 10 month old now. Whoa. You got a fucking savage for a wife. Yeah. She's putting up with a lot.

You meditate. Coffee? Yeah. Love coffee. Big believer in coffee. Although I try to stop drinking it at like 2 p.m. Okay. That's my problem with my sleep last night.

You drink coffee late? when I, at seven o'clock. So I got to ask you about performing for a second. Okay. Are you now at a mindset with performing where you could have two drinks, you could have smoked a joint, you could have gone into a cold point. It doesn't really matter what you did before. You know you're going to crush.

Or do you actually, like, are you like a Tom Brady type where you're like, I walk the field, I breathe these things, I got my pads in this place, da-da-da-da. You know, like, how do you think about performing? Ideally, I have a little bit of a ritualistic thing. I'm a little bit like Tom Brady. There you go. Clip that out. I know exactly what I like to do.

I used to. I'm not doing it now because I'm on blood thinners. After I work, because I had that blood clot. Yeah, of course. And so after I work out, my heart rate gets, my blood pressure gets really, really low. Yeah, you got to be careful. And so I kind of need time to let that recover. But it was lockwork.

I'd take a nap from four to five, four to five, 30. I'd get into the gym at six. We do arena, so we have full access to a gym. I'd work out from six to seven, from six to seven is like a high intensity workout, weight training, and, you know, a salt bike, all the kind of stuff you'd find. And then go to the bus, take a shower from seven to seven 15, get on stage about 745. I'd have a coffee at 745. I'd like to have coffee before I go on stage. I don't like to drink on stage, although if I am drinking, I'll bring a drink on stage with me.

and I'll have it around an hour into my set. I'll have a sip. And that's usually right around the time where I'm wrapping up and... Towards the end. Towards the end. Yeah. And I tell the machine story.

So I'll have a drink to celebrate. Because, you know, I've been telling the machine story now for like 15 years. Yeah. So... You dialed that in. Yeah. So in order to enjoy, sometimes I'll treat myself with a drink.

And then get off stage. I would have another drink, couple drinks. Get in bed, go to sleep, wake up and do it all over. Wake up at 11. Have calls. Try to be creative. Go for a walk. Go to a dick. Sporting Goods. Go to, I love sporting goods stores. Just to buy some cool apparel. Just walk around, walking circles. I love a sporting goods store.

Shields is incredible. That's interesting. I love. I love an REI, a sporting good store. Anything like that, I'm hooked. And do you find that that helps you generate creative ideas? Like what is that practice? It's just relaxing? Just relaxing. Like, I think some people like bookstores, you know, I, for whatever reason. and I can walk around a fucking sporting goods door. Do you feel like to be a great comedian, you have to always be thinking in any scenario, like, is this funny? 100%.

Yeah. I was at a show last night, Umphreys McGee. They were playing next door to us, and they came, and they invited us to go see this show. I was sober. And so I was,

I've been to show sober in a while. The last time was sober October, I saw Wilco sober. To watch a show sober. To watch a show Stone Sover. So that's an unusual thing, yeah. Usually, yeah. I mean.

You want to feel a little buzzed for a show? A little, a few cocktails, something to do it, to see a live music show. And I was sober, so I went over. And it's funny, my brain didn't do anything different. I just, I wrote jokes the whole time. I wrote jokes the whole time. And then I got done. And I said to Brendan, the lead singer, he was saying, so I said, yeah, I was sober.

It was awesome, man. It was really funny. So what did you? I said, it's like meditative. When I watch music, it's meditative for me. and I'm very free and I kind of write jokes and he goes, you were writing jokes when we're on stage? I was like, yeah, I wrote a bunch.

And he was like, like, what? And then I told him all the jokes I wrote. He was like, you wrote all those just watching our show? And I was like, yeah, but they're jokes I'll never use. There's just jokes for of the moment. Like almost it's like, it's like fight or flight, a tad bit of, I don't know if you've ever done this, but you go into a meeting or like a dinner with people and you think of possible scenarios that might show up

so you prepare yourself of how you'll handle that scenario. Yeah. You know, like... Yeah, it's like a visualization exercise. Yeah, but I do that in comedy is... I was saying, like, what if they bring me on stage? And they did, and they're like, what if they bring me on stage? And, like, what song do you want to hear?

And then I was like, I should have a joke for that. And I was like, well, you guys went to Notre Dame. I'd like to hear the Our Father. And then he'd, like, live up, he's like, you're Catholic? And I was like, yeah, he's like, I'm Catholic. And I was like, I know I went to Notre Dame. And then he was like, wait, what are the jokes to you write? And I was like, wow, because there's...

you know, six of them. I go, I hadn't seen six white boys have this much fun since January 6th. And he was like, what? He's like, that would have murdered. We would have loved it. And I was like, you could have enough. And I was like, I was going to make a stolen land joke. I was like, there's like, you just riff in your head.

And it's very, it's fun. And I think when you make the decision to become a comedian, you detach from all life the way everyone else knows it. And you just kind of always are looking. for the funny. Like are... Is it detaching or is it just a filter? No, it's detaching. Like, everything's funny. Like, everything has an opportunity to be funny. Even the worst things in the world, your brain goes...

What can I do with that? Like, where... What is this? Like, like, my dog died instantly. Um, out of nowhere. A Sunday, Sunday night. I was eating... Just recently. Just Sunday. Oh, sorry. That's okay. It's okay. Uh, yeah, it's not okay, man. It happened. But that's life. And my wife, I was eating...

dinner and before the show my wife called screaming crying Izzy died Izzy's dead Izzy's dead she's had a stroke and died off the couch Bull Mastiff most beautiful dog in the world and I brought it up on stage at night and I was like I gotta figure it out like and and I definitely

I walked home and I was sad but in my head I was like the people have been through this they've experienced this what's the shared experience what's the what's the thing that could bring it back And my joke was my wife, I went on stage. I said, our dog died today.

They knew that because people knew that because I yelled at a lady at the restaurant who wanted a picture when I was getting the call that my dog was dying. She was like, the aunt's screaming. I can't really understand her. She's screaming and crying. And I'm trying to understand what's going on. And this lady's like, hey, can I get a picture? And she goes, I know you're on the phone.

I was like, no. She was like, please, just real quick. I go, no, leave me the fuck alone. And she was like, whoa. Whoa. And I was like, I was like, my dog's fucking dying. She was like, huh? Like she didn't like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So everyone in the room knew that because that was where everyone went to dinner before my show. Sure. So everyone knew someone had passed in my family. Okay. And the joke I wrote was, you know, and I wrote this 30 seconds, 30 seconds after my dog died was my wife needs to, needs to learn how to deliver bad news. because she cries for like 30 seconds where my brain is going,

is it my daughters? Is it my dad? Oh my God, your dad died? And then she goes, by the time she gets to the dog, I go, it's the fucking dog? Like, I have fucking killed everyone in my family. And then I keep, like, it's, but it's funny. That's the way your brain works as a comic is.

And that, and that is funny. Like, it's like. Yeah, it's like, and then it turns out that most women deliver bad news, poorly because they feel emotion as opposed to a dude's like, oh shit, I got to make this call, you know, or like, or like, and so I then, then that's a, that's a. And it also, to your credit, it takes a real pro to want to dip your toe into that place. Oh, yeah, young comic, I mean, young comic, I don't think would, but you have to be so

comfortable on stage that to do it, that you're like, I don't care. And then, and then the even the better joke is my sister, by the way, I may use these on stage. So I don't understand. And if I use them in a special, which if I tell another special way of a dog dying joke, I mean, I said my dog died and this lady goes, another one in the audience. Because in the last special lucky I talked about putting down our dog. We put down our dog, Mack when we were in Hawaii. Our dog, Mona, we had to put her down. This is the fourth fucking dog we've killed in like two years.

I feel like Michael Vick. So, by the way, see, you know, whoops, you should get him on whoop. The, um, but it's a great transition. But, uh, but the funniest part of it is my sister. took the dog's body to our veterinarian to cream at it, you know, or like, because you don't just leave it at your house. But I guess not a lot of dogs die and then are brought.

I don't know how it works. So they did not, they didn't know the dog was dead. Oh. His, I mean, I'll save you from the bit because I'll probably do it on stage, but it, I mean, the lady walked up with a clipboard and a smile. So what's going on? My sister is like, she's not moving.

I mean, it's just, it's like you create the scenario. But like, so as a comic, in a weird way, you become, everything becomes a bit. You transition your brain to see, like even just like on my way here, I wrote the, the shit. I was taking a shit. I was like, whoops, I would love to see how big my shits are. Because you guys ask me how much water I take in. I'm like, you know, who the fuck logs that? Who is logging their water intake?

You are a sociopath. If you're like third, close. You log caffeine, shared bed, alcohol, device in bed, prescription sleep meds, red in bed, tobacco and fever. Yeah. That's your lineup. What do you feel like of those you're learning? Well, I've quit tobacco, or not tobacco, but nicotine. Nicotine was the, I quit nicotine.

No more prescription drugs to sleep ever. That was my cardiologist, though. I no longer sleep with a person in bed, which has changed my life. It is changed my life You're sleeping better We have a sleep divorce Me and my wife I was snoring

And it was messing up her sleep score Got it And so So she looks at her sleep data too You know my wife doesn't use I would love to get a hold Of the clothing The swoop clothing

Because she gets a rash on her arm We'll give you some of that today If you don't think I'm going Through the gift shop Are you kidding me I mean like First of all one of my favorite Woo purchases

It's like you know when you Not whatever If this sounds disconnected I'm sorry, but you're listening to the Whoop Podcast, okay? Like, if you're not, if you're not, if you don't realize you're disconnected from fucking reality, you're out of your goddamn mind. The day I, the day I looked at your website and realized, I have money, I can buy 10 fucking chargers. I never have to be down to one charger.

I buy chargers and I leave them everywhere. I have so many. And then you change your fucking charger. And I was like, God damn it. You're like Apple. Although, to be fair, the battery life's a lot better now. Battery life is amazing. Thank you.

I look at my whoop, I go, you're still here? Shut up. But Leanne measures her sleep score. She wears a whoop sporadically, but she knew she was sleeping. She was in the red. Because of you. Because of me. So we got a sleep divorce. She took the main bedroom and she moved me in the guest bedroom and then dressed it out for me the way I like it.

I sleep the way I'm sure Huberman tells you you should sleep. I blacked out the windows. You can't see in anything. It's cold. It's ice cold. 65 degrees. Yeah. I have water everywhere.

I take liquid deaths and I put them on the bed. I rack them. Stay hydrated. And in the middle of the night, I murder liquid death. If I wake up to pee, I come back, I murder liquid death and I throw it in the air. And it just hits anywhere in the ground. And no one complains because it's my room. It is, I sleep at home.

I sleep incredible. In my bus, in my bus, I sleep even better. What are you doing in your bus that makes your sleep so good? Oh, I mean, it's first of all, it's. pitch black. It's a little, it's, so what I did in my bus, I built it out for sleep. You'd never build a bus like this. A bus normally is made with the star coach in the back where it's got to slide out and it's a little more for like, no disrespect, but for like a female star who wants her space. She wants to wake up and open up her and have a bedroom. When you're a touring comic,

you just want a good night sleep. And the best sleep you're going to get is in the bunks in the middle of the bus because the back star coach, you're on the axle, you're by the engine. Bus calls it Bumpy. Bus calls at 3 a.m. You fall asleep at midnight. They turn on the bus. It wakes you up. You start driving down the street

and you're bouncing everywhere. You sleep in the middle and you just feel a little shimmy. And if you sleep on the middle, like facing back, if you sleep on the middle right side, you're not where the door is, right? So you've tested your way through this.

I've lived on buses since 2019. I own my own bus. I built my own bus for me. I kept the first rack of middle bunks for my crew. And then I ripped out what would be the next set of bus. and built my bedroom in the middle of the bus,

which you'd never do. No one would ever do. The resale on that's horrible. No one looks at that goes. No one wants it. But if you're a touring comedian or a touring musician, especially like, that's, you go, that's the best. With a huge bathroom in the back, with a closet in front of the engine,

so when the bus starts, you don't hear it. Dude, I sleep like a dream. Hmm. You've got a 47% sleep consistency. That's holding you back. Explain that to me, because I look at the green, the recovery. I never look at the gray. Make it a different color, maybe.

Sleep consistencies essentially, do you go to bed and wake up at the same time? Oh. And if you're going across time zones, like your host. I mean. So chances are that'll never be a good metric for you. No, no, no. I never looked at it. On December 18th, from January 11th, I went back and forth across the country eight times.

On a bus? No, on a plane. Oh, you took a plane. And that's how I got a blood clot. Because I was going back and forth just. Too much. I bet that's my life. Yeah.

And then I get on a bus. And, you know, on a plane. And, you know, whoop has gotten a lot better with sensitivity. Because back in the day, if we had a lot of bumps on a bus, your whoop would never give you a good night score. And it would just be like all over the place. And then it's gotten really good. I don't know if you change something in it, but it can measure now your actual sleep.

New generation keeps getting better. The whoop I have today is like, even like in like early generation whoop, you'd be on the treadmill. and you'd be running and you look at your heart rate and you're like 76 hold on that's not right so you'd I don't know if you ever do this but you take it off and you go and then you put it back on the nintendo yeah yeah and then I'd lick it I'd wipe it and then you'd poke it and then you'd take your heart rate on your phone you'd be like 134 why the fuck and then all the sudden it's almost like whoop has like ears it's like wait did you just take your heart rate on a different device it's one 34 you're okay although I don't mind when like you do a workout and whoops like

a hundred and seventy eight beats per minute you're killing it and then you look at your strain you're like 12. Holy shit. All right, I'll take it. Never mind. I feel great about myself. By the way, this is so in the weeds for whoop users. Like this is like, whoop users are locked in right now. They're happy. Oh, I, they're relating to a lot of things they probably didn't expect to relate to with you. What's up, folks? If you are enjoying this podcast or if you care about health, performance, fitness, you may really enjoy getting a whoop. That's right. You can check out Woop at Woop.com. It measures everything around sleep, recovery, strain, and you can now sign up for free for 30 days.

So you'll literally get the high performance wearable in the mail for free. You get to try it for 30 days to see whether you want to be a member. And that is just at Woop.com. Back to the guests. We should adopt as a Woop community, a very fat person, a very, very fat person. and get them fit and crowd fund them all of us chip in 10 bucks and be like yo right now you're 500 pounds we're gonna put a whoop on you we want almost like a goldfish we want to watch you lose the weight we want to check your metrics we want to hit you up give you inspiration we've got companies

we want to you always got a free ticket to my show we want to hit you up and but we want to watch your metrics and we want to root for you I like this idea I'll provide the whoop you'll be like the spiritual leader yeah you know you'll check in with this person right now people are watching going Bert, you're the fat person. What are we talking about? You're fat. I want fatter. I want fatter. Well, you know, back to the evolution I was saying. So it was like 2012 to 2020, we were kind of your athlete fitness enthusiast product. And then in 2020, we discovered that people could figure out whether they had COVID from Woop. And we had like tens of thousands of people seeing an elevated respiratory rate predicting whether or not they were sick. And so all of a sudden we had all these people joining Woop for a very different reason than before. It wasn't like I trained and I'm fit and, you know, I want to get back in shape or I want to stay in shape. It was like, I just want to know whether I'm sick or not, right? And so that was like a big wake up call for me.

And from 2021 to today, I pointed the company towards health. Oh, I was in much more general health. I was in the hospital January 11th with a blood clot. Heart rates high, very high. Blood pressure was very high. I'm in a lot of pain. Yeah. And the lady says, I'm afraid your respiratory is,

down a little bit. I'm afraid you have a blood clot in your lung or maybe some blood clots in your lungs. Dude. Fired up the whoop. I said, let me tell you what my respiratory rate was last night. I was like, ooh,

87. She goes, that's not where we want it to be. And I went, okay. But I would not have trusted her. I trusted this thing. I looked at it. She goes, your heart rate's high. I go, hold on,

when we check. And I pulled up, I hit start activity to check my heart rate. Yeah. And I was like, oh, my heart rate is high. I didn't listen to her. I listened to my who. Isn't that crazy?

That is cool, though. Yeah. But I mean, that is a thing. It's like if you build this relationship with this platform and you have all this historical data, and you had just met that nurse or doctor for the first time in your life. Oh, and it's, and she's telling you your heart it's high. It's like, well, what do you know, how do you know what my heart is? I trust this guy.

I trust whoop. I think of whoop is a person. I really do. It's like my buddy. Yeah. I think as you incorporated the strain coach and the AI, like, you know, all the, all the things. It's, I really have a relationship with this thing. I told you this in your office.

my favorite moment every year is when I get my year in review. I love that. I love that. Because it's, first of all, I work out a lot. So it's fun to see that like, oh, you had, your longest streak was dot, dot, dot, or your highest recovery was this. I've always gotten a 1%. I've always get every year.

Every year I pull a 1. What do you feel like it's been your lowest one? Like you woke up and you knew it was a 1 before you saw the 1. You're like, aye, this is going to be. I'm in the gutter. COVID. My first, oh, my first, the first time I got COVID. Yeah.

First time I got COVID, who I was sweating and I was shaking and I was, and I had gone skiing that day, not knowing I had COVID, so I was exhausted and I drank and I thought it was booze. And it was like, I mean, a shit storm. And I sweat, piss. I mean, I sweat. And I looked at my whoops corn as a 1% and I was like, I earned that. I fucking.

I was like, what's my strain? Have you interacted with the AI inside the app? Nah, not really. You should play with that. I feel like you could kind of fuck with it if I was guessing, but you'd find something funny from it. Really? Because you can ask it all these questions like,

how much worse will my recovery be tomorrow if I have three drinks right now? Oh, I didn't know that. You know, like personalize it, you know, specific to you based on all of your historical data. I love when you, my favorite thing, it's almost like right here, This little area right here, weekly check-in plan.

By the way, I view my progress. My progress is never good at 5%. I'm really focused on my view of two-ups. Well, we've got to change your plan then. Maybe your plan's a little too aspiration. 10,000 steps. It's too much for you. No, well, it's not.

It's not. Or you're going to do it? It's not, but it's like, like last night I was at the concert and I was at 9,200 steps. And I was like, well, time to dance. Time to take a couple laps. Time to dance. By they're dancing.

You've got a bunch of dance activities. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes I do that when I get, if I'm drinking, I'll get to my hotel room or I'll get to the bus and I'll just turn on music and dance just to get my steps up. That's great. Yeah, by the way.

That's a very playful thing for an adult to do. 8.6 on my strain last night dancing at the concert. Look at you. Yeah, I was dancing for an hour, an hour and 45 minutes. There's an element I feel like to being a great comedian where you have to be a little kid at times. Oh, you're, I can't, I'll say things to you

that you'll not understand, okay? I don't know how much money I have. have I don't know. I'm sure you know how much money you have exactly, right? If you, within the right zip code, yeah. I don't, I wouldn't even know what zip code my banking is. I don't know my bank. I don't know any. So your point is you just are a kid. I am a, I married a woman who saw, who saw me one day, who saw me one day skateboarding home. She said, hey, I need a, I need a gallon of milk. And I was like, cool. We were broke. We had George and Ila. And I went and got a gallon of milk.

And I, and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, oil can. And I skateboarded home, drinking a fosters with a gallon of milk listening to the spoon. And I was just, I mean, I was, I was, I was, the happiest, one of the happiest I've ever been. When they say money doesn't buy you happiness, we were broke. We were broke. And you were happy.

I was without a doubt quantify that as one of the happiest times in my life. Skateboarding home, smiling, ear to ear, listening to Spoon. And she had been looking out the window waiting for me to come home. And she saw me. And I got to the room. She's like, don't ever grow up. Whatever that boy is, hold on to that because that is, like, that's who I'm married and that's what I love about you. That's cool.

But I always, like I plan parties. I just have a good time, but I'm not a grown-up. I don't. I've said this, you know, I'm saying this on stage, and people really can't understand it. I don't really pick out my cars. Like, my wife kind of just goes, like, this is a great car, we'll get this car.

And then I get to pick the color in the interior because that's what I care about, really is, you know? I don't, we have a bunch of houses. I've never bought one of them. Like, she just buys them. Come along for the ride. And so, yeah, and like, even my tour bus, she bought that.

She was like, it's a good investment. Well, you got a great partner. Yeah, I have an amazing partner. but I am still very much a child. Like, like, I am not, I don't, I don't bother myself with a lot of the things and a lot of groans bother themselves with, and I'm blessed that I don't have to. You describe yourself as a child, but you also, I imagine, have a high degree of discipline. Oh, I'm a very...

Because someone can hear that and have the wrong impression of success. True. It's like, I can be a goof and a kid and it'll all work out, whereas my sense is you had a big grind component to getting to where you are. So I'm, I, I, I have a crazy work ethic, meaning I get up, I, and I, I work. And I also have, look, I see the world differently. I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pimp myself a little bit because I just shot myself down and told you what a kid I am, and I'll explain how my brain works.

So I've been, I've been working with Netflix now for, uh, probably seven, eight years. My very first special I got with Netflix was Secret Time and I was sitting with comics backstage and they were explaining how no one watched more than 30 minutes of their special that the algorithm said 30 minutes everyone turns off and Netflix even said that they're like we're going to start doing 30 minutes specials that's all anyone watches well I said the art form's an hour I can recreate the art form to make an hour watchable for an hour so I took my closure I moved it 22 minutes I frontloaded my special with all my jokes and I just reworked the algorithm in my head I just went as an artist this is what I'll do and uh my my special performed crazy like insane and

And the average listening duration was much higher than 30 minutes. 92% of the people that tuned in watched the whole special, 92%. Amazing. And so I got another special. And then I just kind of, I'm very creative in the way I run my business. I thought, you know, I signed this touring deal and I got X amount of dollars for marketing. And they were going to put that into radio and billboards. And I said, hold on, media is changing.

Give me that money. Let me take that money and let me create marketing, my own marketing company. And I will do all my own marketing. And the first thing I did for $1,200 is I did a dance video where I learned a dance to post Malone. I learned to dance. I did the dance. I ripped my pants off at the end of a speedo. And I scrolled tour dates.

And all of those tour dates sold out instantly. We added second and third and four shows. I have a work ethic where I love a challenge. So the very first time I did Red Rocks, I was supposed to do with Jim Jeffries. He bailed out. He was having a kid. And they were like, well, we're going to, you know, we're going to see if we can get you someone else. And I said, let me try.

And they're like, what do you mean? And I said, well, it's 10,000 seats. I know I can move 5,000 tickets. Give me an opportunity to see if I can sell 10,000 tickets. I want the challenge. So I then buckled down. I start doing promo videos. And people would hit me up and go, dude, I get it.

You're doing Red Rocks. And I go, no, this isn't for you then. This is for the fan who's still excited. They go, oh, I forgot he's doing Red Rocks. I am a fan first. So I work from a fan. perspective I don't look at like the negative guy the guy that goes oh we get it you're on tour no no no then don't come you're not coming anyway I don't care about you you're you don't

count in my book you you're you're vaporized you're you're muted in life I look for the fan who goes like the person watching whoop that's like yo get back to whoop that's who I talk to is the fan and so I got surgery on my arm and going into surgery I said here's the deal to the surgeons so when you put me under I don't want to count backwards I'm going to shoot a promo video for my red rock store I'm going to be talking to the camera, and it's going to be on record. Here's all I need you to do is when I go under, the camera's going to fall, and I'm going to go to sleep. I need you to hit stop record so that I have the video, do the surgery, and then get me out of here.

I woke up, and the surgeons were standing, and they're like, dude, the video is awesome. And it's me going, I'm going to Red Rocks. I'll be there the night before Jimmy Buffett, the night after Jimmy Buffett. And they're like, you're talking to me. And real, I go, yeah, I'm with Jimmy Buffett. And they're like, you're doing Red Rocks? I go, yeah, I'm doing Red Rocks, October 3rd. I'll be there.

If you want tickets, it's going to burn, and I collapse. And then I sold out Red Rocks. So where I succeed is in being very creative. My show, my show, Freebert, which is streaming right now on Netflix. I went to Netflix and I said, I don't want to do episodic. Now, everyone does episodic. Episodic makes sense. I said, I don't want to.

I want to do, I pitch them. I want to do. Describe what episodic is. Episodic is very digestible. Every, you do six episodes, and every episode is a mystery and a solve. It's a very short arc where the Chrysler family needs a birthday cake. And then we need a birthday cake, we find a birthday cake, something happens with the birthday cake. We get the birthday cake.

The Christy family gets a dog. We need a dog. And you can watch episode four, the same way you can watch episode one. Yeah, there's no... It's entertaining. It's like the Black Mirror thing. Yeah, it's like Black Mirror. Well, I had seen a show called Black Doves, and I had seen a show called Slow Horses.

And I knew the feeling I got when I turned on that show. And it's the feeling you get. Do you ever see train spotting? No. Oh. The beginning of train spotting. This is the best way to explain it to anyone is Iggyzzy, Iggy Pops, Lest for Life. Rum, dum, dum, dum, do dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum,

it's a great song, right? And you got four junkies running from the police. And it's Ewan McGregor who looks cool as shit. And he's like, they said get a degree. They said choose life. And it's all voiceover. And he's running from the cops. He gets hit by a car.

He looks at the car and he goes, I said, fuck it. I get chill bumps telling you. It's the greatest opening to a movie you've ever seen. If you don't hit pause and go get yourself a cocktail or a joint, you're dead to me. You're dead to me. And the beginning of Slow Horses, it is a first episode where the second it ends with Gary Oldman, you look at whoever you're watching with. You're like, we're about to watch this entire series.

And I said, I want to do that in a comedy. I want to make a series so that the very last words I say in episode one, you hit pause, you look at your partner and go, we're watching all this tonight. And it has been what, you know, it's gotten good reviews. I won't say anything other than it's gotten good reviews and everyone seems to like it. And it's been streaming in the top 10 for a while. But it's bingeable. And it's different than any other sitcom.

Your typical binge, yeah. But it's the way my brain works is I take things and I do things a little different. I do it my way. And I, and so for whatever. childlike approach I have to everything in life, I'm very serious about comedy and about business and about creating business and podcasting. I've been in podcasting for 15 years because I listen to the right guy.

Like I'm pretty wise and like, you know, Rogan's like a big brother to me. And so when he said start a podcast, I didn't hesitate. I was like, absolutely. But I also can measure when not to live, when he's like, dude, the fucking Speedo video? And I go, well, it's sold out two tours. I'm going to do things my way.

So I have a little bit, like I'll get a perfect example. You look at me, this is a great example. You look at me, I party, I'm fat, I take my shirt off on stage, I talk shit on stage, I talk shit on podcasts. I measure my body once a week with a tape measure, my stomach, my waist, my neck, my arms, my calves, my thighs, my chest, across the nipples, across the belly button, around the waist. I measure it once a week.

I take my weight once a week. I've been logging that since 2016. I measure my whoop stats very I travel with a trainer religiously religiously I've run the LA marathon with no training I did triathlons I've done the sport I've done every race there is to do I've done a half marathon I run my own 5k like I as childlike as I am in life with drugs and alcohol I then refocus in like a very serious way about fitness it's it's like it's like a They could oxymor. I'm like a huge oxymoron, a huge oxymoron.

Well, you have an amazing work ethic and discipline married with a childlike wonderment for the world. Yeah, I think. And that works. Like, coming in here, I go, like, I was like, this has been on my wrist for fucking six years. This is it? I was like, whoa.

There's a lot of people. I really thought it was just you. I thought it was you and like six other people. Maybe just cooking something up in a garage. And I was like, this is cool. cool. And then I'm like looking at everyone and I was like, like, I know you know me because I think you texted me like in like, like, DM me in like 2019 or something. Probably. Yeah. It was like when you were young and you're like hungry and you're like, dude, I love you guys

are doing this. And then I came in here and I was like, wait, no one knows who I am. Like I thought because I've been so into whoop for so long. I was like, I'm going to walk in and they're like, Burr! Oh, you slept horrible last night. What happened? I really honestly thought. Like everyone's just staring at your day down. I was like, no one knows who I am. because I'm so into whoop, you know? And you guys have all my fucking data. Well, we protect it. I would go through.

Don't ever let me work for this company. I'm checking out everyone's. I will check out. And Michael Phelps, you know this. I will look for every time he jerks off. Because you can see the spike. You can see this bike. And you know it.

You know what you said that I really liked was the Netflix, like, data moment where they're like, you know, 30 minutes, everyone drops off. We've got to make a 30 minute special. And you're like, no, like, I need to now just be creative about how I get people to listen for an hour. And so much of what Whoop is doing on a daily basis is, you know, marrying data with creativity. And there's a lot of wrong signals you can take from data or like wrong conclusions you can make from data. And often it's the, you come out with the best thing or the best, um, product or service or whatever, if you can apply a high degree of creativity to something you learn

from data. So I love that story about you doing like, all right, so I just need to figure out how to get people not to drop off at 30 minutes. Yes. I'll tell you a great stat I got from WOOP, that it's been a key to my life, especially when I was drinking. I was drinking very aggressively in, was it, 2006, 20, 2000, end of 2024. What's aggressive drinking for you? What's aggressive drinking for you? If it happens during the day at all. If it happens during the day, it is a huge... Kind of noon and fire things are.

It measures my... It affects my biomarkers if it happens during the day. Yeah. And what was the beginning of it was... Fully loaded. I fully loaded as a summer festival I put together, my wife and I own, where we bring 12 comics out on the road with us

interchangeably throughout four or five weeks, maybe six weeks. And we, I mean, we party really hard. We go tubing down rivers. We eat mushrooms. I mean, we do everything. It's a fucking party and a show at the end of the night. But because there's so many comics, you're not really married to like doing an hour.

So you can do a little less. It can be a little fun and free. And people come on stage with you, bring guitar out. Jelly Roll comes out with us. That's fun. It's really a fucking blast. And so I was noticing I wasn't sleeping well. And then one night I drank a lot of water before bed.

I drank four water. I hadn't been drinking water. And I drank four waters, four liquids. I only drink liquid death. I have to tell you that. And I, and I slept like a dream. And I went, I wonder if hydration. So I said, I'm going to test this out. So, you know, my move to start recording it. I start murdering for liquid death before I go to bed. I have to pee in the middle of the night. But then when I wake up, I murder another liquid death. So I stay wildly hydrated. My sleep score was incredible. And I went, whoa, hydration has a real effect on your sleep score, on your

blood pressure, on your resting heart rate. All of this matters. And I was like, wow. Especially for someone like you is going hard all the time. Yeah. And so I started, I mean, I go through, I go through probably a 12 pack of liquid death every day and a half. Every day, day and a half. I drink a ton of water. I am not. I've got a whole thing of water right next to my desk.

I am not as much lately. And I just pound it. But, but yeah, I, do you have a whoop on your baby yet? No, no, yeah. Do you want one? Well, I mean, it does introduce the whole question of like, whoop for babies, whip for kids. It's like, you know, once you end up in that world, you can't help it have creative ideas about it. Do you remember what it was like to be like trying to make it as a comedian?

Yeah. Just the grind. We walked by the Albany Funny Bone yesterday in a mall. I didn't know it was there. I'd spent some time there. I'd been there a bunch. I had no idea. I was in the mall.

Yeah. And I'm walking by. And it's so funny, I saw this Native American store that I made a joke about that I made the same joke about when I had been at the Albany Funny Bone and I saw it and I went I wonder if this is the same mall and then I saw the Alley Funny Bone and I was like wow I used to work here for like $1,500 a week

and it was one show Thursday two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, one show Sunday and my assistant my trainer were with me and they're like wow you work because they only know me to work in arenas and big theaters yeah they only know you's like a massive success and they're like you worked here and I was like yeah and I was like yeah and I was like yeah and I was like

It's so funny. I remember being hyper-focused on the journey and being cool with where I was at because I knew it was part of the journey. And I loved it. I loved it. I loved, I've always loved being an underdog. I think being underestimated is the biggest power you can ever have in any scenario, whether it's a business dealing or an athletic, anything.

When people don't expect much out of you, you can win. so big. And I, and I, I remember distinctly, there's the reason I take my shirt off. I was at the Dayton Funny Moon. There were like 75 people on a Thursday night and I knew there was, it wasn't getting better throughout the weekend. And I was like, I don't want to be here. I want to be home with my kids. What the fuck am I doing? Like I'm making, I was making $1,300 that weekend. And I was like, and no one's coming and the club's not going to make a ton of money and they're not going to be happy with me. And I don't know if they'll have me back or not. And I'm like, what the, and I don't want to do stand up. And the manager, Doc, was his name. It's a great guy.

came over with a bucket of Heineken and he looked at me he goes just try to have fun like as in like he knew what you were thinking he knew exactly what I was thinking and I thought this not that's not their fault that I'm not happy

like this has no effect on them right they want to have a good time and I'm supposed to be the guy to deliver it and he played Ram Jam when I walked on stage just Black Betty Run oh black Betty Bam a lamb whoa black Betty and it made me giggle

and he got on the stage and I murdered a beer. I was looking at the DJ booth. I murdered a beer. And Doc started laughing. And then I ripped my shirt off to make Doc laugh. And he laughed. And did you rip it off like this or you like tore the shirt?

No, I ripped it off. Just ripped it off. Just normal way. Yeah. And the crowd went crazy. And I started giggling. I started giggling at how silly this was. And then he was like, and then I murdered another beer.

And then I started the show. And I used that taking the shirt off as a device to cheer me up when I didn't want to be there. And then it started being every show I'd do it because it got such a big pop. Well, so the question I have is the next show. The next show, did you say to yourself, I got to take my shirt off? No, the next show, I don't know if I did.

All I know is that it would happen. Like, when did it become a moment? Columbus Funny Bone, probably a few months later, uh, I got on stage, I ripped my shirt off, Ram Jam was playing. I killed a beer. And, uh, this is back when clubs, clubs, you,

I'd do drunk shows all the time in clubs. Oh my God. It was, there was no cameras back then. Right. You couldn't get in trouble. No one had their phone. No one had a fucking, if someone filmed you, they had a camera. They had like a video camera.

Yeah, right. And, uh... Which probably made comedy freer, but we can come back to that. You have no idea. The, the things I said on stage back then, you get, not just canceled, you'd get disowned by your family. Yeah, right. And I took my shirt off.

And something happened in the room very organic, and I addressed it. And then another thing happened from that, and I addressed it. And we started to have a really hot moment. I think there was a deaf guy. There was a deaf guy in the front row. And I take my shirt off. And there's a deaf guy in the front row. I take my shirt off.

And the music stops. And his chick says, he's deaf. So you're going to really have to talk with your lips. And I went, oh. And as I said that one of the waitresses, gave him a comment card, like put it in front of him. I go, what the fuck you give him to him for? He doesn't know what the fuck's going on.

And it just, I addressed it. And then the thing took off within 20 minutes later, I don't know what is happening, but I realized my shirt's still off. And I go to put it on, and a woman in the back just goes, keep it off, in a deep smoker's voice. And it made the room laugh, and I kept it off. And this guy that I really respect, it's a great comic, came up to me at the end of that.

And he was like, dude, you just did a whole set shirtless. And he goes, I couldn't do one joke. He goes, I don't know one comic that could perform shirtless, not address it, and still crush. And he was like that, and in my stupid workaround brain,

my little cheat code brain, algorithm brain, I thought, okay. George Carlin, little known fact, George Carlin used to grow a beard before he did a special. He'd work out with a beard on stage. And then when he did the special, he'd shave because his shaved face is funnier than a non-shaved face. That was his take.

I heard that when I was a young comic And the same went for Richard Pryor They'd grow be getting ready for a special And then shave it off They'd be so much funnier Like the way Michael Phelps must do with his hair When he's training Yeah, right

And I said to myself, all right I'm gonna do the road shirtless And then when I get ready to a special I'll put on a shirt I'm gonna be so fucking funny Because I've done this all this material Without a shirt And then I went to do

The Machine for Showtime At the Irvine Improv two shows and I get there and we do the like camera blocking before the show and I have a shirt on and I feel so uncomfortable on stage of the shirt. I've not been on stage with a shirt for like seven years and I'm like I can't do this with a shirt and the showtime's like hold on you're giving people a huge reason to change the channel if you have a if you have no shirt the majority of America is going to go I don't want to watch this you're not attractive right you're not in shape like there's no and I went yeah but I've only done it without a shirt

And then like, how about you do one with a shirt, one without a shirt. And I go, no, we can't cut him. I go, I got to do it shirtless. I did a shirtless. No one watched it. No one watched it. But now you want to talk about algorithms. We want to talk about the nuance of things.

The things I think me and you are both interested in. shirtless, when presented to you in your living room against your choice, like a TV show, like Showtime, and you have a remote control in your hand like Caesar, you go, what the fuck? Who gave me this? I don't want this and you change the channel. Shirtless on the internet when you're scrolling and looking for something and it's your choice, you see it and you go, whoa, what the fuck is this? And you click on it.

So the same thing that was apparel on TV was a benefit online. And I posted that video of me telling the machine story, which no one watched on TV. I posted it online January 27, 2016, or December 27, 2016. And it went viral. It went viral. Like, I have no idea how many impressions has now. The last I checked, it was like 58 million. Wow.

But it's kind of fascinating. Is it important to you really just what the fans feel in that moment? Or do you also care about your perception amongst other comedians or, you know, like some broader, like, how much do you care about what the broader ecosystem thinks about your work? Would you ever ask other comedians, should I be shirtless? I would never ask anyone should I be shirtless. I'm trying to be fair because I'm sure like if there's only a couple people that would ever have ever had the conversation with. They're my closest friends. But I will say I was doing me obliviously for a very long time.

And the first time someone asked me to put a shirt on. I remember being like, I wouldn't, I remember seeing. saying I would never do that ask you what tell you what to wear like I would never be like hey man I know you have a hoodie on can you take the hoodie off I'm gonna wear a hoodie next that would be insane and then when I got famous successful one and and and I was you know they're kind of the same in your line of work what's that famous and successful yeah yeah it was pretty pretty much same but I realized that not everyone had my best interest in in mind and and that there was a lot of jealousy at play and there was people that looked at my success as a threat to their success. And they didn't celebrate me the way I had them when they were successful. They had no celebration for my success.

So I realized, oh, the reason they're making a comment about my shirt is because they can't do it or they can't follow it or they find it to be achieved. Or they want to pull you down. It doesn't matter to me. My path is my path. I've never once, first of all, Rogan's never told me, can you please put a shirt on at my club?

Never once. He'll make a comment. I'll be like, dude, your shoulders on. fucking jacked. Like he'll make a comment, but like, or like, I remember one time he was like, I was like 222 pounds. I was on testosterone. I was fucking yoked. And he was like, dude, your shoulders are distracting. He was like, oh, I'm looking out of your fucking shoulders. And Leanne was there. He goes, Joseph, you've been telling him he's fat forever. He finally looks good. Celebrate this motherfucker. No, no, no, that's all what I'm saying. Like, he looks good,

but I'm just saying, dude, your shoulders are fucking jacked. It's affecting the show. He goes, I'm just staring at your shoulders. But, uh, but yeah, I, like, I realize this is my journey and I can't really, I have to ignore everything anyone, any opinion anyone has from the outside is, is there just that. And I, I have a fan base that comes out to see what I do.

I do what I do. I like what I do. Is there points in my life where I go, wow, I wish I had never taken my shirt off? Of course. Of course, like, there's like, this is making me appreciate to just what a direct connection you have with your fans or your customers, right?

because, you know, let's take acting, which is, there's some analogy there. It's a perfect analogy. But, like, an actor probably is worried a lot what other actors think of them or the director thinks of them. And, in fact, maybe that's their primary feedback loop, actually not the fan. Oh, yeah. I mean, when you think about, you know, and you got to also. There's almost no barrier between you and the fan. Yeah.

Oh, someone said, would it matter if, I was talking to Ryan Holiday about stoicism? And he's like, you can't really, it can't matter what other people think of you. And I went, and actually 100% does with the, I need my fans to laugh. Yeah. Like, I can't just go up and just monologue about fucking, uh, stolen land. Yeah, they're going to be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Um, but I also can't allow someone who is prone to dislike me immediately because of, because of, because of whatever reason they were born, they grew up without a father or, or, uh, or they're overweight and they're not comfortable.

with the way they look or they don't like that I'm getting to meet you. You know, there's going to be people that are like, dude, why the fuck would you have this guy on? You was so much better when you have athletes on. This guy is annoying. I have a whoop. I have opinions. Why am I not on this show? I mean, it's like you can't, you got to ignore all those things and just go out.

This is the horse that got me to the race. I'm going to keep riding this horse. I am me. It sucks for some people. You know, like, I have a clip that's going. somewhat viral right now about Shannon Sharp asking me. I don't know if you've seen it. Oh, yeah, this idea of like you were broke or something and then you made it again or like

you lost it all, right? It was like that. And you hadn't actually lost it all, but you just went with it. It actually made me wonder if I should ask you. So what happened when you lost it all? So I remember the moment. I remember when he said it. I remember how I felt.

And I remember all of that. But I don't remember how I looked. And I guess it's going, getting passed around today, today, because Gillis texted me this morning, Shane Gillis. And he was like, by the way, get him on a whoop. He'd be a great fucking, watch him get jacked. He's an athlete. He texted me this morning. He goes, dude, the look on your face when Shannon Sharp asks you, you lost it all, he goes, the look on your face has me crying, laughing.

And then all of a sudden, everyone started texting me. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. And I just know that I know who I am. in that moment, I didn't want to embarrass whoever wrote the question. I didn't want to make, I don't like conversation. Joe knows that. He was the first one.

He goes, I know you don't like conversation. That is my favorite clip ever. And I just went with it and just was like, I'd rather just be like, yeah, it was tough. You know? I saw it for like 15 seconds, but in the 15 seconds, I watched you have this full revolution of processing. Like, I don't know if he knows what he's talking about. I don't know what he's talking about.

I think I'm going to go with it because I don't want to make this weird. That is 100% who Burt Kreischer is. Like in moments where people are upset with me, they're like, so you just lied? And I was like, I don't know, man, you get put in the situation. I don't know what to tell you. Like, that is who I am. That in that moment, the Tom Brady roast, I got people hated this. And I had to embrace exactly who I am.

In the Tom Brady roast, if you go back and watch it, any time they cut to me, I'm reading prompter of the joke that's being told. I'm reading their prompter. Like as Tony Hinchcliff is saying, Bert Chrysher's here. Bert Chrysler's liver looks like what if Rodney King made Martin Luther King, whatever, I'm reading his prompter as he's saying it. I'm lipsing. I'm going, that's who I am. I look, you got to own who the fuck you are. I'm an idiot. I am honest. I am a fucking fool. I am a good comic. I laugh at myself. But like, I am the fool that when Shannon Sharp goes, so you lost it all, I just go, yep. Yeah.

I'm actually now going to watch whatever followed from that. Dude, the, I, I just saw it today. I told Shane, I was like, I haven't seen it. And then I said to someone who my team, he must be super happy. He was like, dude, the look on your eyes, the look on my eyes, apparently is just like, yeah. And it's like, it's, but it's who I am. I mean, it's like, own who you are.

Look, a lot of people want to, want to manufacture who. they are, right? A lot of people go, uh, I, I feel a private jet. Don't put that online. Uh, I do, I have a nice watch. Don't put that online. A lot of people manufacture who they are for their fans. I'm just a, I'm just a lunch pale guy in a lunch pale world. I am exactly who I'm and I'm, and life has changed. I've changed. I am that person. I'm unapologetically me. And you're either going to like it or you're not going to like it. And if you don't like it, I totally understand. There's times I don't like myself. But you're like, oh, how can you drink and then run a marathon. I have no fucking idea because Rogan said I couldn't do it. So I just said I'll run the LA

marathon no training at all. No training at all. And I'm, I went in, got in line. And I, and I was pissing people off. I was like, brand new shoes. And they're like, oh, you're not supposed to run a marathon and new shoes. And I was like, I just got him yesterday. I'll break them in on the marathon. People were livid. But you had to bring in the LA marathon. But that's you. It's me. I, you know, yeah. What do you think is the state of comedy today? Are you happy? Yeah. Like, I mean, in some ways, like Netflix kind of helped save comedy at one point there. I mean, you could, you could pinpoint that to, to like...

It got bad when. Like, you guys couldn't be yourselves in a sense, right? No, it was bad before... It was bad. It was bad before podcasting. Podcasting helped. Podcasting saved comedy. Podcasting made comedy, made comics interesting.

Podcasting created a relationship with the comic and their... fans that was super blurry. They felt like they knew us personally because we shared so much because we'd go on Joe's podcast was really pivotal in changing the state of comedy. You'd go on Joe's podcast. You'd talk unfiltered, really unfiltered, not knowing what you were saying for three and a half hours, three hours. And people would listen to you and you'd share very intimate stories and very intimate

details about your life. and in a weird way they, you know, they became like your friends. And then they would always say to you, I feel like I know you and I know I don't know you. But I felt like that about other comics that I listened to on podcasts. The first time I met Joey Diaz, I was like, I was like, dude, I feel like I, the first time I met Joe, I was at his house. I never met him before. And I was like, dude, I got to tell you, I listen to the podcast a lot. I need to meet your dogs.

I want to see your deprivation tank. I want to play pool. I want to get high. And then we can do this podcast. And he was like, okay. But like, that's the. And then as that happens. and the comedy boom started.

And I was lucky enough to be at the, I think, honestly, at like ground zero of the comedy boom of when we all started doing theaters. Now look, Tom and Bill and Joe, they were doing theaters earlier, you know, but like I got right in on that theater boom, into the arena boom, into this like wild. And I think cancel culture just made comedy that much more sexy. Like I think what they tried to do was taken away from us. And we were like, no.

And by the way. And by the way, that's what society was craving. Yeah. Because people felt kind of tight. Comedy's only fun when there's rules to break. Yeah. The second, there are, I mean, that's where I think where we're at now is like, I think comedy in a weird way could use a little bit of a reset because there are no rules anymore.

I mean. It's gotten almost too far in that direction. It's got a little too far. I mean, I still think it's fun. But, like, it was fun when there were words that you weren't supposed to say and then you said them. It was fun when there were subjects you weren't supposed to talk about and then you talked about them and you broke the rules. Those were the fun times. So you don't feel like there's quite enough rules anymore.

No, I mean, look, there's still people upset. There's still people outraged. You're going to find, and if you play the center of the room the way I do, I don't pick a right or left. I just play the center and I make fun of, like if I have a joke about buying a gun, I'm upsetting both sides. And I think that's the fun angle to take. But like, I think right now, I think right now, I think right now, And I dare I say this, but I think there's a lot of comedy. Like there's, you know, when I did Secret Time, I would say maybe there was a hundred specials released that year.

Maybe, maybe. And that's a big stretch. I think probably honestly there was about 70 specials released that year on all platforms. So when you put a special out, it really stood out. I would think this year, when I released Lucky, there's probably 20,000 specials released. Wow. Oh, yeah. I mean, on, I didn't realize.

I mean, I mean, 20,000. Easy. I would, I would ballpark it. When you look at YouTube. YouTube, I mean, YouTube's like everyone self-releases a special. There's comics that have been doing comedy a year that have put out a special, which I think is detrimental. If you're a young comic, there was a comic that's on tour with me right now, Zach Townsend. And he said, what advice do you have?

And I said, don't release a special. He was like, what? I was like, don't release special. Get really great. Get really great and be undeniable. And then release a special. So many people are putting out specials after doing comedy for four years, for six years, for two years. They do a Kill Tony and they put out a special and you're like, like, you've only been, you're not like, I know you feel good and I know you have fans.

But trust me when I say, we watch this happening with Last Comic Standing where people got a fan base and weren't ready for it. Like, get ready for your fan base. The best thing that ever happened to me was getting successful at 45. Because I did stand up from 26 to 45, 19 years before I did the machine. And then I posted it, and then it went viral. And when I was ready to sell out.

You were ready. I was ready. I could give you three different hours at any given moment. And then when they said, the machine's doing great. We'd love you to do secret time. I was like, I already have the hour. Let's go.

When do it? And they're like, wait, what? And I was like, yeah, I'm ready. I'm fucking 45, and I'm ready. And then I did Secret Time. And they're like, how long until you can start touring? I said, I recorded Secret Time and it came out in November. I said, January.

And they're like, what? I said, I've already got another hour. I've been doing stand-up so long. All I've been doing is writing. I have so much shit. And so, like, I look at this last special. Not this isn't the last special I'll do. I mean, I don't know that.

But, like, the next special I do is due in 2007. And I'm in a place where I get to say, like, I just was, on the call yesterday and they're like, yo, we want to shoot it in April of 2007. And I went, can we push it? And they go, yeah, when do you want to shoot it? I said November. No one pushes their special. Everyone's in a race to get one out because they want to be the next big thing. Dude, take your time. Get very competent at stand-up comedy. Don't just post-crowdwork clips. Create material out of nothing. Create it so that a stranger laughs. Go to places where you don't know anybody. Make a stranger laugh at what you're doing.

and be undeniable. Rogan sat with me in the back of the comedy store one time by the bar, by the refrigerator. And he said, you need a Netflix special. This was 2017. And I said, great Joe. And he goes, no, you need a Netflix special. I said, Joe, it's just, it's not that easy, man. And he goes, yes, it is.

If you're undeniable, it is. And I went, what does that mean? And he goes, write it down. Write it down and be undeniable. It sounds like the craziest fucking thing to say to someone. And then one day you're undeniable and you're like, oh, I just got to outwork everyone. I got to outright everyone. I got to get up every single night.

I've got to go up when I don't want to go up. I've got to go up when they say, hey, do you want to do a spot in the belly room? Absolutely. And I go up with intention with a joke that I'm working on and I allow it to fail. I allow myself to suck. I don't need to kill. I go up in the OR with a joke that I'm working on, not just going in and go, I'll fuck around. I'm going to do some crowd work.

I'll crush. Fuck that. go up with a story that is uncomfortable and awkward that you're working on. That is like the only, Joe, look, I love Joe Rogan. I love him. I really do. The guy's one of my favorite human beings alive, but he drops gems. I remember him saying casually, I love being uncomfortable.

And you're like, yo, it doesn't, you don't need it in a gym. It can be anywhere. Find it anywhere. Go to a party and be a little uncomfortable. Go to a party and be sober. and start conversations and listen and make yourself uncomfortable. You'll come out of that party having a wild experience.

And I looked at that and I went, I got to be uncomfortable on stage. I can't come. I'm good at being comfortable. I can go up and murder. Anywhere I want, I can go up a murder. But to go up and go, I'm working on this. I'm working on this and it's not going to do well.

I love that. And the small victory will be the big victory one day. That's the way I looked at that. And by the other, there's great advice for any profession. Like if you want to break through, be undeniable, get uncomfortable. I mean, we have a value here that's like to move at an uncomfortable pace. If you don't feel like you're a little uncomfortable, you might not be moving fast enough. That's what it takes to innovate.

I work out with, he's in the other room, and I'm not throwing him under the bus. I'm just saying what we've talked about. I work out with my assistant, and he's a bro. He's a bro, you know. So when he does bench press and he, like, drops it on his chest and pushes it up. And like that's the way he benches. And we're like, yeah, you're going to hurt yourself. And he is, he will at times go like, we'll go, oh, you were doing eight.

And he'll go get to five and he'll go, I got one more. And we're like, no, that's not how it works. You got to eight. You got to eight. And he's like, no, I got one more. And then he gets one more and he racks it. And I said to him, my favorite part of bench press. For some people, it's that first re-unrack where you push and you go, oh, this feels good.

Number two feels good. Oh, three, my favorite part of bench press is when you're pushing as hard as you can and you cannot move the fucking weight. And it's moving half a millimeter at a time. Because that's I know where growth is. That's where the growth is. My favorite, we do, we do, right now we're trying to teach him how to lower the weight onto his chest and then push it off. So we're doing reverse, like whatever, you know, where you slowly drop it.

I love when they go three seconds down and I do 15 seconds down. I love it. My favorite part of life is the uncomfortable part because that is where all the growth has had. The best part about the reason I'm sexy about this V-O-2 max is I'm going to do the 12-minute run. See how far you can run in 12 minutes. And then you multiply it by like 35, you minus 11.1. You get your V-O-2 max. I was up all night last night estimating my V-O-2 max.

I'd be dying to know. know how you came up with 31 for me because I came up with 33 on a guess but I'm like I love when I used to run seven minute miles and I love the challenge of going like let's see how hard this body can go your VOTU max is adding 0.6 years to you so getting that lower that's going to go a long way on the six years how do I how do I take a VO2 max test on this to reset it well yeah you can input, if you do a VOT2 max, you can input what you get, and that'll create a new baseline. I'll be doing that today. You can go do one on the second floor if you want. We've got a whole V02 max. We've got the, the X thing? Yeah, we got the action mask, everything. Are you serious?

Yeah, you could do it on the second floor. What's your VOTU max? 40, 45? No, it's like 50. Oh, yeah. I would love to get 45. You'll get there. Yeah. First step is pointing intention at it. Yeah. It is a very movable thing. Like a lot of it's Like you got to get your heart rate to zones four and five from time to time. You got to just do some cardio. Yeah. I've been running for the since, since the blood clot and since weight loss.

Losing weight was the best thing for running for me. Yeah, that's going to help a lot. Yeah. I've been running. Losing the weight itself won't help, but now that you can do the training for it, it'll help. Yeah.

Yeah. I would love, can I tell you what I'd love for you to do? I'd love a strain coach in my headset. Oh, okay. I would love. Or it tells you, okay, you're at 6.5 and let's keep pushing. So, no, here's what I want. Here's what I want.

So your AI guy, I want to give him a name. Mm-hmm. I want it to be you. You want it to be me? Yeah. Okay. Where I go, oh, cool. And you just go, hey, man, how's your day?

Yeah. So listen, we're going to run today, right? I got a great run for you. And I got five great runs for you. One's an incline, one's of speed, ones of this. And then I want to hit play on my run. You are based off my strain coach. You have a run set up.

You have five runs. Met. You're going to need a trainer to figure this out. But you need five runs set up based on my strain coach. And then I get your audio of you running me through that or like a fart lick or something. Yeah. But then I can play my music in the background of my whoop where I can hear. Yeah, you play your music and then whoop will come over from time to time.

And you're like, hey, we're going to kick it up to a 5.5 on the treadmill. We're going to go a little faster. We're going to go a little faster. We're going to go a zone two to three. If you're not there. And then, and you're there. You're reading all my data. Hey, we're going to go a little fast.

I would love. I want that. I want this. to be my one go-to for everything. It's my favorite thing. The feeling I have when I've started a workout and I realize I haven't started my activity, that feeling, I go,

you know, you can add it after the fact. I know, I know, I know. It's like adding sleep, shut the fuck up. That's not cool. Adding sleep. And then you ever leave your workout on for two days? And you're like, oh, God.

I've missed two sleeps. What didn't we cover today? I think we hit it, man. This was fun. I mean, what a winding journey today. Do you have whoop retreats? What's that? Do you have whoop retreat?

Where we bring the company or? Yeah, like your company retreat? We haven't done a company retreat. Well, if you do one, I would like to do stand-up at it. Yeah, you should. And just do Woop material. That'd be great. Well, you know, we should do is have you come for, like, we have parties on the rooftop in the summer.

And so it's like, you know, we'll get you, you know, a cocktail out there. I own a vodka. Let me sponsor the Woop Party. I'll bring me and Tommy will come. Yeah. Yeah. And we'll do a Woop party. Poros also sponsor it.

By the way, Poros is the cleanest vodka you can get. We are six times distilled. We've got all the impurities out of it. You should do a whoop study on your vodka versus other vodkas and show that the recovery is not as bad with your vodka versus the other pound for pound. And if it doesn't work out, we can cook the numbers, right? I'm kidding. No, let's do it. Let's do it.

I love it. I love this company. Now, what kind of merch do I get here? because I would love to take a look at what you're working on. I want to look at everything you got. We're going to take a lap. I went, I went a leather band. We're going to give you a leather band.

We're going to give you some hoodies. Fuck, I just want whoops. I want chargers. You want bands, chargers. Bands chargers. How about some boxers? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I need my wife.

I need like a sports bra for my wife or something. Definitely. She can put a whoop in. Yeah. I love this company. I really love that you started this company. I love that you're really honestly I'm grateful to have you on it

I'm being serious if I had not If you had not come in as a sponsor for Sober October I'm not certain I'm not certain my health would have maintained At least at the level it's at Because I've really really enjoyed Checking my metrics Logging my workouts

Checking my sleep all of it I really have to thank you from the bottom of my heart For starting this company because it has made my health of priority in a way that it would have never been and it wasn't before. It really wasn't before. So thank you very much. Thank you, man. Well, I'm very grateful to have you on Woop and I think your story on multiple dimensions will touch a lot of people. I hope so. I hope I don't get hate comments. I hope you, I can't wait to see your Woop score the day you die. Bert, thanks for doing this, brother. Thank you so much. If you enjoyed this episode of the Woop podcast, please leave a rating or review.

Check us out on social at Woop at Will Ahmed. If you have a question to us, he answered on the podcast, email us podcast at whoop.com. Call us 508-443-49-5-2. If anything about joining whoop, you can visit whoop.com. Sign up for a free 30-day trial membership. New members can use the code will, W-I-L, to get a $60 credit on W-W-Acessaries when you enter the code at checkout. That's a wrap, folks. Thank you all for listening. We'll catch you next week on the WOOP podcast. As always, stay healthy and stay in the green.