Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - A Cathartic Year End Rant (w/ Mike Mitchell)

Episode Date: December 19, 2025

Happy holidays! You’re getting an xxxtra special xxxtra long holiday episode with Santa Claus himself (Mike Mitchell - Doughboys podcast, Twisted Metal). He joins Elf Nicole to complain about why Santas are getting too hot and buff, and Nicole reveals the time she was fired for being too jolly.They talk about Mitch’s journey with long COVID, the struggle of losing libido from medications, and their shared experiences losing weight. Has it helped their sexual health? Plus, Mitch shares a truly wild dating story where his date asked someone else to hook up with her. They discuss why the holidays are secretly a very horny time, debate what to do if your partner cooks a terrible festive meal, and take a moment to vent about the current state of streamers and Hollywood.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastCheck out Nicole's review of Sizzler on the Doughboys podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvg7enGnuOU&list=PL6J5Hwj-9uXlVJHKkALbQNpdEZL3kAAbqSupport this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:Aura Frame: Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/DATEME. Promo Code DATEMENOCD: If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/DATEME.Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/3v6r90n6 #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ho, ho, ho! You can hear us, but you can't see how cute we look. You can also watch this episode on our YouTube channel. The link is in the show notes. I'm an elf and Mitch is Santa, and we have a merry time. Check it out. This is a headgum podcast. What is one of the worst dates you've been on? When I went on a date with a, I took her out to dinner, I thought she was really cute, and then we went back to Bird's Bar. And there was a UCB improv friend there, and she told him, let's go to your house and have, and fuck.

And using those words exactly. And could you hear it? Or did he tell you she said that? No, he told me afterwards. He was like, she just asked me to go back to my place and have sex. And I was like, oh, I'm on a date with her right now. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me?

Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Oh, ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! It's me, Nicole Beyer, and this is another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? A podcast where me, Nicole Beyer, was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come in the air and tell me it was a snowflake. My guest today is Santa Claus! Oh, my boss! That's right, and we've got a lot of work to do, Nicole. I know, I'm sorry that I wanted to take a break from working so hard at the North Pole to talk about love and relationships and come. Well, Santa loves all of those things.

Come, much like the color of my beard. Yep. Just kidding. My guest today is an actor and comedian from series. like love and twisted metal which was just renewed for his season three and you know him as the co-ho, one of the co-hosts of the dough boys that started in 2015. Yes. You guys have been doing it for 10 years, five years like I, oh my God. And we're going to the sizzler. Wait, when will that episode come out? That's okay. A good tease. And we just reviewed the sizzler together, which is one of my

favorite places and this is one of my favorite people. I love him so much. It's Mike Mitchell. Thank you, everyone. What if I never gave up the Santa the entire time? I was like, I'm staying in character. Mitch, it would be very funny if you were like, I'm not Mitch. I'm Santa. Stop saying all that stuff. I'm, what Santa, St. Nicholas? St. Nick, yes. Christopher Cringle. Oh, Chris Cringle. You want to get this a background on Santa. I can tell you everything you need to know. You picked the right person because me, John Gabris, Mookie Blakelock. I'm just listing people who play Santa so much every year, which is fat comedians, I guess you could say. Yes.

And then me, Gabris, Zach Cherry, and Stavros, Algeist did Stavi's World, his podcast. And we were all dressed as Santa. I love that. And so I have about four Santa suits. And this is my only elf costume. Well, I feel like if you had more than one, you're into it. in some sort of way. It's my little kink.

I want to work at the toy shop. And your dick is my toy. I almost had another elf costume because I did a, I don't know if it's out yet, but I did a thing for Google. I did post about it. So it's out in the world where I played Joy the Elf. And they were like, do you want to keep your elf costume? And I was like, no.

You said no? I'm sure it was a professional, or was it no? No. It was just a velvet suit. from Good American that did fit me very well because they wanted her to be like not like this

What do you mean? They wanted her to be a like a business A business Oh okay All right yeah yeah yeah And not like a sexy Amazon elf This is from Amazon

That's I got you So that it was not as it was not as fun It was just a it was like a hunter green Velvet suit Which is like nice That's nice I get not keeping it My issue with Santas is that they're very sexy now, and I don't, I think Santa should be, like, pretty chubby at least.

I think so. Yeah, yeah, and, like, now, like, they, if you, like, I feel like every commercialist holiday season except for Eminem's one that is 30 years old at this point where they both faint and, like, they are real or whatever. They're all hot Santas, and it really bought, it, it, it, they're all buffed Santa. That's not Santa. That isn't Santa. Isn't, didn't, didn't Kurt Russell play Santa in a movie? But you know what? He's like beardy and

But Kurt Russell's hot Kurt Russell is hot I agree with you I mean give me the Tim Allen Santa I like the Santa Claus It's one of my favorite fucking holiday movies And they show him getting

He gets fat It happens Yes And I love it so much And there's nothing wrong With a fat Santa It's a good That's who Santa is

Santa is fat Santa's fat He's Jolly And plump Yes A merry old elf And Jolly implies Fat

I was fired from a job because I was too jolly. I was like, they said I was fat. You got fired from a job because you were too jolly? I got fired from... You should out these fuckers.

I'm arrested. I don't know if it still exists. Mars, while you look it up? It was called Elmo, and it was right by McManus in New York on 7th Avenue. I don't know if it still exists.

I thought you meant Sesame Street's Elmo for a moment. It was like a commercial thing? Elmo from Sesame Street, called me Jolly and I fucking hate that motherfucker. No, it's just a... They still exist. They're still open.

Fuck Elmo. What is Elmo? It's just, it's a restaurant in New York. I can't believe it's still open. Wild. On and lounge. Wait, this was... It's a restaurant in New York City.

This wasn't like... This was like a restaurant job? This was, I was a hostess. And I remember what I wore the first and only day I worked. I wore a silver pleather. miniskirt with a black turtleneck with a little boots. And I thought I looked so cute. And I like seat people. I'm sure you did. I think it was like four hours of working. They were like,

hey, so we don't think this is going to work out. You're just a little too jolly. And I was like, a little too jolly. And then the manager of that restaurant a couple months later moved to, his name was Jason. He was really wonderful. He moved to a restaurant called Chat and Chew. uh near union square and then he's like do you want to be a hostess here and i was like ha ha yes i'm still unemployed so then i worked there for a very long so you like that that person you like yes jason is great my jaw's on the floor about elmo we should destroy i should fat 9-11 that place i sat 9-11 that place i truly yeah i mean i don't know if those people still work there Yeah, I was fired from Elmo.

That's true. I cannot. It's already bad. And I just so sadly assumed it was in the Hollywood world because they are horrible in that way. New York City. That is fucking crazy. And that's not the first place.

Or no, that was the first place I was fired for being fat. The second time was a Belvita breakfast biscuit commercial. I talk about this on Connor Ratliff's old podcast, Dead Eyes. and it was a Comedy Central branded commercial So I guess Belvita Breakfast Biscuits didn't vet who they hired They were like hired the funniest people And I auditioned and I fucking killed it And then we get to set

And I was like saying the lines And you've been on a commercial shoot right Oh yes yeah yeah yeah Where the fucking client was whispering in the corner The director comes over and they're like Some of the worst people in the world Some of them I'm sure are great great but most of them are so mean yeah so mean unfunny yes not creative yes yeah yeah yeah i just

did one for google but they were all so nice they were very nice and i'm not just saying that they were actually really nice to me and also get get that money you deserve you deserve some good get some good google money i mean that is that is that is that is the thing are you are you mean to how do you feel about like millionaire actors doing commercials because I think I am very like like if I see someone who is like it's Jeremy Piven or something or whatever that's the smart list guys

are doing an ad or something. I am more critical of that and I wish that the millionaires didn't do it because I do think leave some crumbs for the rest of us. That's what I'm saying is that we like and I don't I never go out for I'm sure you just get offered these things but I never go out for commercials because I just think it's soul crushing

but then there's a lot of people we know who are actors who should do those commercial roles and now it's like every famous picture. They should be slightly shamed, I feel like. I do think they should be slightly shamed, but then sometimes I really think about it. Like the smart list guys, I don't think they need the money.

Sure, sure. I don't even know what commercials they are and I just pick them out of a hat. Sure, sure. But sometimes I think about it, I'm like, oh yeah, acting doesn't pay the way it used to. No. Nothing goes into syndication the way it used to.

That is very true. individuals aren't what they used to be. So I do believe these people are taking commercials so they can upkeep the lifestyle they've become accustomed to. That is true. I just think that we, but then you see people who do it so much and I'm just like. But then you got to think how many houses do they have?

Yeah. But does Tina Faye ever, and I don't even know if she's in a commercial right now, but I'm just saying like, does Tina Faye ever need to do a commercial ever again? The answer is no. And I think she even like spoke out against this. It's like, you don't, you don't,

and this is dangerous territory. shouldn't even say things like this. Hey, listen. It's okay. If you're a millionaire watching right now trying to think about doing a candy crush commercial, don't do it. Don't do the candy crush commercials. Leave it for me and Mitch. You know what? We need commercials. That is the one that I will that I'll call out. Candy crush. There is a commercial with Jason Mamo and Chris Pratt. And Kiki Palmer. None of them were in the same place at the same time. No. It's the wildest They're doing a monopoly. Yes.

And look, I have worked with Prattie. He's a nice man. But I would be like, he doesn't need it. Why are you doing this monopoly? Why are you doing it? You don't need it. You should be shamed. Chris, I'm sorry.

You did Jurassic World. You did Jurassic World. You should be made fun of her. You're a guardian of the galaxy. And like, we got to walk on thin. I feel like you should be made fun of for that. You should get made fun of for that. That is embarrassing.

Don't do it. Go to Japan and make the commercial. That's what they used to do. That's what they used to do. That's that, and that was like, okay, I'm going to go to Japan. We don't have shame anymore. There should be some shame that's brought back. I'm sorry.

It needs to be brought back a little bit and just a little bit. I agree. I also think celebrities can be a little bit more wilder. I like a messy celebrity. Also, Chris Pratt, if you're listening, you might be his friend. I'm not his friend. He took a historical home, demolished it and built a modern monstrosity. Don't do that.

Go buy a plot of land somewhere. Chris, what's up? Sorry to call you out on Monopoly. Chris. We're still boys. Also, why did you wake up Jennifer Lawrence on that ship? I mean, that is, that is, you know what, though? Look, if I was alone on the ship, I probably, I maybe would have done the same thing.

Let that lady sleep. I know, but I'm lonely. Wake up a man. Play video games with that man. Don't make the lady. Can I be honest with you? I probably would have woken up. I would have found the guy who looks the most like me and woken him up for, and I also

would have been like, hey, I woke you up. Like, I would have been honest about it. Yes, you have to be honest. You can't be like, uh-oh, I don't know what happened. Yeah. Let her sleep. Leave her alone. He should have, I mean, it is a, it's a little creepy.

It was a little creepy. It's very creepy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to leave ladies alone, Chris Pratt. Wait, Mitch. Are you dating? Are you single? What's going on?

I'm dating. It's been a long road for me. Okay. Where I did not, like, on February, I was dating my neighbor for a long time. And I liked her very much. much and I was like is this the last date is do I never have to go on our first date ever again that's where my head was at didn't turn out to be true uh it didn't work out that the way I thought it would be uh and so I I we were living next to each other it was a little difficult as far as

like this person is next door to me and then I went to Toronto to film and that was kind of a good band-aid rip because like even after we were broken up we were still you're still neighbors we're neighbors and we were hanging out all the time. And then I went to Toronto and there was a like a little bit of dating up there. And then and then by February of this year, I was like, I'm done. I'm like not, I'm done. I was like, I'm going to focus on myself. I'm on Zepbound. This is, this makes me sound crazy. But two years ago, I got long COVID. Do you know, you know, why does this make you sound crazy? Because I'm like, half the country doesn't believe in it. So that is like, that is the issue with it. I feel like, every time. It's, I feel like, every time. time i get covid i'm a little dumber it's it was it's the craziest thing i've experienced in my adult life where two years ago i got covid and after it was done like that same kind of like as i was getting better i got vertigo i got intense brain fog my vision was fucked up there was like all this shit that i was like what's going on yeah it's like how do you explain this if it's not long covid honestly i feel like a lot of this country has long covid and it's manifested in psychosis and people are just

Like, I don't know. That's how we are now. So many people, the thing that I've been happy about about being open about it is that people in the comedy world have, like, texted me and by like, I think I have long COVID. And I've been like, it sucks. But like when you do realize that, you can like, and also like it should go away at some point. And it's been such a, it's been such a ride for me. And when we did doughboys on the road in like May or something, I had kind of like a relapse where I wasn't as bad as because as bad as it was down here. It was so, it was the worst experience of my life.

For four months, I thought I was going to kill myself. It was so, it was really, really, really bad. And then it's so much anxiety for her to go, like, where you couldn't walk. You know what I mean? Like, I would get up and be like, ugh. And it's like, four months of that, you get wanting to be like, I got to jump off a roof. I like, that's where my head was at. I got to get out of here.

I mean, that's kind of where my head was at at that time. And then I remember the day where the anxiety looked up because it comes with intense anxiety. And I remember the day, and I've always been a little anxious, as you know. I'm a little nervous. Just a little bit, a little nervous guy. And then, like, it was, like, if you could feel, it was, like, heavy. And then I remember the day I was, like, texting with my buddy, Dano. And he was, like, Dano, he rules.

He's great. He's great guy. And he was like, you know, like, you're going to get, the anxious stuff is going to go. And I remember I was in home goes with my mom who came out because I told her that I was, I was also paranoid. It was like so much stuff at once. Oh, God, I'm sorry. It was bad. I didn't know it was this intense.

It was very, very intense. And she, she was going to come out like. a few weeks later. She's like, I'm coming out this week. And she came out and I went to the doctors and I didn't know what it was at this point. But Dana was like, that anxiety is going to lift off you. I remember like feeling the anxiety like coming off my body and being like, and that was like the first step.

And then the vertigo went away, which was great. But I was trying to figure it out. And I didn't know what it was. And then in May, Nick and I with the doughboys went on tour. And I had like a relapse. And it wasn't as bad as it was, but it was still really bad. I was like, I need to figure this out. And I went to my primary care doctor who,

also, like, was like, I don't know if it's long COVID. And he prescribed me Lexapro just because I was sad about stuff. Yeah. So I started taking Lexapro. All that sexual desire went away. Goodbye. So there, so not only was I like, I'm going to take care of myself, like in February. I also just had no libido.

There was no sex drive. And so that was like almost helpful in a way. And then I, so I was doing that for a while. And then he gave me a nucleo capsid test, which is. and so I know and the nuclear cap says I came back I came back positive with COVID antibodies and I hadn't had it in a year and that's when he was like oh I do think you have long COVID wait that's fucking nuts it sucks that's and like that was like there's no real test for long COVID but it was like oh this is like such a relief for you to see this and be like oh he wasn't like making things up this is real and I got put in the long COVID study at UCLA and I've been in that long COVID study and then eventually at the long COVID study I was like I got no sex I have, and my doctor was like, we should get you off Lexapro, and I changed over to Welbutrin. And so I've been on Welbutrin, and then I just was like, I should try to start to date a little bit. And I've gone a few days. I'm not going to get into it too much, but I won't

been on a few days. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been good. It's been good. I am like, I like, I like, I don't, you know, like, I am still like, first of all, libido still not back yet, but I am, I was in a place where I'm like, I'm trying to get myself better. And, I've been on Zepound for a year, and I've lost about 55 pounds so far. Thank you very much. You look great. Thank you. I've been on Manjaro for, this is 2025.

I think for two years. I've been on Monjaro. I think it was October, 2023. I went on it. And I still haven't figured out food. Yes. I mean, the crazy thing with it is, it does, I've got you, I'm sure you agree with this. is that, like, it does show you that you can have much smaller portion sizes and be like, I can be okay with, this is what I said about, because I used to get, I get Jersey mics a lot, even still.

And I would get a regular size sub, and now I always get the minis. And I was like, I never in my life thought that I would ever just eat a mini and be satisfied. Yes. And that is, like, the thing where I'm like, oh, you can do that. And then also, if you're off of it, if you go off of it for a week or two weeks or whatever, for whatever reason, the hunger does come back. It's back in a way where I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, like, what have I been missing? I need to eat everything in the world.

Yes, yeah. And I guess with me, the thing I haven't figured out is I did not, I didn't, so my doctor was like, here's what you should be eating. Fruits, vegetables, chicken, turkey. Sure. And I said, I'm going to eat whoppers. So I would just not be hungry during the day because I would. I was on the Manjaro, and then at night I would be like, oh, man, I'm so hungry. So then I would eat a whopper, French fries, and a milkshake every single night for like four months.

And then I was like. I mean, I love it personally. But I get what you're saying. Yes. Like, oh, I guess like a, well, you're still doing great, it seems like. Well, yeah. I was technically in a calorie deficit, but like I wasn't doing the nutritious way of doing it. And then I would like do these workouts during the day.

Um, it's, which I haven't, I, I, I've been busy and I haven't worked out. And it does like, you do feel like, I'm like, my back hurts and like my legs hurt. I'm like, oh, my muscle is going away. Yes, because you haven't fucking worked out. And then I think the medication eats your muscle or you lose muscle. You start losing muscle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like a combination of, of, you have to be working out while you do it. Or you lose. And like, there's like a bone density thing. Yeah. Something like that where it's like easier for you to break bones, which is like, oh boy. Um, but I just like Googled fat people working out, uh, and then it showed me. It showed me? It showed you. And you were just lifting weights going, it's me, Mitch. Uh-huh. Doing curls with donuts. Hum.

Hum. Hum. It showed me this, uh, I think it's a, it's a company called the body project. And it's a man named Daniel. And he's in the middle. He's like pretty fit, but he's got bad knees. So he does low in. stuff. Yes. And then there's a fat person on one side and then like a person doing high impact,

like a thinner person on the other side. And then I was like, well, if I could just keep up with the fat person, then I'm like doing okay. Yeah. So I would do those like three to four times a week. And it was hard. It was so hard. Yeah, that's great. And then now that I've lost like a little bit of weight. If I go too long without exercising, it gets hard again. And I'm like, oh, so this is like a consistent thing. So forever I have to like track calories because I actually don't understand what I'm eating. And I'll just mindlessly fucking eat shit. And I have to work out. And I'm like, I don't want to. Life sucks in a lot of it's a bitch. It does. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks so hard. It's a bummer. I, I, when I started taking it, I was like, this is a miracle drug in many ways.

And I tell a lot of big people to get on it. And I told, you know that I know big comedians. I tell all of them. You know I know big comedians. I tell everyone, too. I'm like, if you can get on it, get on it. That's the issue. It is a little bit expensive.

I was, like, hesitant to do it. I met with my doctor and I was like, is this going to give us like, will this give me cancer in 10 years? And then he was like, he was like, GLP1 drugs have been around longer than people say. Yeah, I think Ozmpic's been around for like 15 years or something like that. Yeah. And, like, people with diabetes, they've been using, like, a form of this, of these drugs forever. And he was like, you know what? Causes cancer.

He's like, being a big fatty. And I was like, being a big fat fan. And I was like, that's a great point. And then when I had, and he's like, heart disease and cancer, like your, your risks go way up. And then when I had long COVID, I was like, I need to try to get rid of everything. I talked to an immunologist who is like a real deal in New York. What's the immunominole? Immunologist is like, like, you like, a dog.

doctor that studies like your immunities to things and stuff like that. And so with long COVID, it's like your immune system is acting against, like fighting against you. And they say that so much of it is, um, is inflammation. And when you're heavy, you just, you have more inflammation. And so it's like as time has gone on, I've lost weight. I'm like, I feel, I feel like it's the best choice I've ever made in my life. I tell every big guy to do it. Also, one in 10 people who have get COVID, get long COVID. And I think the numbers are even higher, higher than they say. I, I believe you. because I truly, every time I get COVID, I'm like, dumb for a couple months after. And you know, I wasn't, you know, I wasn't that great to begin with.

I didn't have the best brain. I'm a fun time, but I'm not a brainiac, as they would say. You need all them brain cells. And I need everyone I can get. So I take turmeric, which is an anti-inflammatory thing. And also, there's so many people that are very very, Like I said, with the buff Santas, there's so many people that are like, you need to lose weight the right way. And I was just talking, I was talking to so many people about this just recently.

And it's like, yeah, well, like, if you had cancer and there was a drug, like, you would take it. You're not going to tell a diabetic not to take insulin. Yes. And it's like, and I, but they were like, yeah, but you could get on the treadmill. I'm like, I, there's so many different bodies. I have lost weight. What people say is the right way. Right way.

When I was in. And it came back. And it came back, and I rode crew in college, and it was like, I worked out six days a week for like two and a half to three hours those six days a week. And it got me like right to a place, like got me to like 200 pounds. And I'm like, and that was like, you know, like years of doing that. And I'm like, and when I did this thing called Noom, which I was just like watching all of my calories in and was never going out, never having drinks and was miserable. And then with this, you're just like, I take the shot. I can enjoy my life.

I can hang with people. And all these pieces of shit who talks shit about Jillian Michaels and all these fucking idiots, Bill Maher can fucking suck my Santa's dick. He's a fucking asshole. Don't understand why. So it's like if you're fat, they're like, go work out. But then it's like, okay, so it's hard to find workout clothes as a fat person because they don't make them for fat people. They're hard to find. Yes.

And then it's like if you work out, sometimes people talk shit about you with the gym. gym and then it's like if you know so it's harder for some fat people to fucking work out i mean like that's the thing it's not easy it's like and some people are like they're like jeans are a factor in all this it's that sort of thing of like i got on the treadmill the other right because i hadn't done it well and i was like i used to do like i jog at like you know like four miles per hour for point two miles and then i would walk for three point three miles and i would just do that back and forth and then i got on the other night and i like could only do that fast run for point one miles per hour Because it's hard.

It's hard. If you don't keep up with it, it gets hard again. It does, yes. And also, our world is crazy. And there's, and, like, I think the thing with working out is, like, the consistency thing. And it's hard to be consistent if it's like, tomorrow you have to go fly to this place or you have to do this. And it's like. Not saying that our job is harder than other.

No, it's not rocket science, but like there's garbage men that wake up at five in the world. Yes, it just is your, your schedule is never consistent, I guess, is the issue. And it's very easy to, like, not have a routine if you get sad. Yes. Yeah, that's true. You get a little sad. And this is just people in general. It's like you, like, I found this lady on Instagram who was like fat, lost like 150 pounds and was like a personal trainer and then gained a hundred and 50 pounds again.

Yeah. And she's like, it's like, it's really hard to like do it. Yeah. You know, live a life, preach a thing and then gain it all back. And now I have to lose it all again. And I'm like, yeah. So let her inject things if she wants. And also garbage, man, you can also inject anyone can do it.

I mean, the issue is, is the price with it. And I know I'm lucky to be able to do that. But also, insurance, my insurance covers it. But also, I'm diabetic. And I have high blood pressure. And I have high cholesterol. And a little bit of sleep apnea. And you know what the most annoying thing is?

You have sleep apnea? Oh, Mitch. It was bad. So I recorded myself because I was dating somebody. and the first time they slept over, they were like, hey, when you sleep, it's pretty scary. I will tell you, I've heard that so many times in my life

from people I'm dating or just family members of friends. I once had a friend, I think it was Mary Sasson. We shared a room on like a girl's trip years and years and years ago, and she was like, do you think maybe we don't share a room? And I was like, what do you mean? She was like, you snore really loud. And I was like, that's crazy. And then Marcy was like, you do snore, but it doesn't bother me.

I have a friend who like had hooked up with a lady and he said that it was like shaking the bed snoring. And then he was she was like, I think I'm just going to like go home and stay at my place. And he was like, it's just like so relieved. But I've been that person. And you shouldn't feel bad. Have you ever gotten a sleep study done or no? No. So what I did was, so those students, I recorded it with this app and I listened back to it.

And I was like, oh, this is humiliating. Have you ever listened to it on this podcast? No. Do you have it? I'm pretty, yeah. I can find me snoring. Just I can look at my phone and find me snoring. I guarantee you, your snores are, my snores are like, my mom and sister thought I was

dying so many times. Really? They were, like, genuinely nervous about me with sleep apnea. And my dad was a big snort. My dad was a guy who was in shape, you know? My dad was also in shape. Yeah, yeah. My dad was, like, he was, like, a wake up at, like, 5 a.m.

And do, like, crunches sort of guy. But, like, never, like, also, like, such a gym crazy guy. But he was, like, always in good shape. But he snored, like, crazy. I'm not even mind to you This is the scary one That's the scary one That's the scary one is breathing

Yeah And then do you hear of like the choking? Yeah It's just a long winter's nap is all it is But yeah, I downloaded that app because I was like, because he said it was scary to sleep next to me. And then someone we both know, I hooked up with them. And he was like, we were on a tour cone. They were like, I had to go back to my room because you were snoring so loud.

And I was like, everyone's being really just like dramatic about this. And then I listened to it. And I was like, oh, my God. I have cameras in my house for my cats. And I have listened to myself snoring. It's very, very bad. It's, it's, I'm not even kidding, it's way worse than that. Is it?

Well, I mean, that was the one that I could find without, like, I also moan in my sleep. All right. Like wild, like, mm. Hey, no guy, no, no, no, no one who's hooking up, but you're going to kick you out of bed for that. Nope, but for the snoring they did. So that went away. I don't snore anymore. You don't, oh, oh, wow.

It's all of my medical issues. So there's some people who are healthy at like a bigger weight or a bigger size. I'm not one of them. And it like it was a very unfortunate thing to understand. But like the snoring went away. And there's medication that can help you. Yeah. And then like I'm no longer in the diabetic range anymore.

Oh my God. But it does like spike if I eat something bad and all of the symptoms come back. Yeah. My blood pressure is like slightly elevated sometimes. but, like, if I sit for a little bit, it, like, is normal. Yeah, so, like, everything's normal now. And I was like, and it's annoying because I didn't mind being bigger. Sure.

That is the hard thing about it is that you're, like, always like, I like who I am. Yeah. And, like, especially as you get older and get comfortable. I hated it when I was younger and was 200 pounds. And I was, like, 200 pounds seems insane to me. I lost 50, almost 60 pounds. And I weighed 275 pounds. You know what I mean? It's like...

It is wild to steal, because I think I've lost, because I lost 30, 25 or 30 pounds by myself before starting it. That's great. And it was so fucking hard and I was miserable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I went on it. So I think all together I've lost like 80 or 90 pounds or something like that. But like... Imagine arguing against this thing that has made you so much healthier.

It's truly... It is crazy. People are insane. And it is like this old Puritan thing of like doing things arrived. Do it the right way. I don't want to suffer. It's nice that I had help. Yes.

And it was still hard with help. Of course, yes. It's not, it's not. I still had to like work out. I still had to do all that shit. And also like you're changing your hat. It's like, whatever. People are crazy about it.

I, and also like, I was so ashamed of being big when I was younger. And now I'm like, I am so much more comfortable as I am. But it was the sort of thing of like, I don't feel good. I don't feel healthy. I started using a CPAP. I used a CPAP in the last year. which has been great. And also Zepbound approved for sleep apnea.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, but still I haven't been able to get it just through. Have you only been on Zepbound? I've only been on Zepound, yeah. I was on OZempic because I think my insurance was like going to cover OZempic and not the Manjaro, but my doctor was like, huh. She's like, have you like your hunger gone away? And I was like, no.

And then she was like, and your numbers are not good. Oh, really? Yeah. Some people have success with different ones. It's very strange. So one is a semi-glotude and one's a tricepetide. I don't know if I'm saying any of that, right? But the tricepotide is the one that works best for me.

You're on the semi-glub-blub. No, I think, I think, I think Zep-Bond is also, I think it's the same thing, right? Is it Manjaro and, I don't know. No, I think when Govi and Manjaro are the same, and I think Zep-Bon-Pic are the semi-glop-Dops. All right. I think I simply don't know. Yeah, Zepound is not a semi-glutite. Oh, okay.

so we are on the same we are on the same thing Zeppon is not a semi-glutide oh okay so we govy is the pair to ozempic yes yeah yeah yeah yeah because it gets sort of the food noise yes in your head which is a wild thing I remember like when I first took it I was like like dinner time came and I was like oh I didn't like obsess about what I was going to have for dinner I know it's crazy and when you go up when I go up in my dosage I'm on the second to last going out. I'm like, oh-oh. Same. Time is running out for me, and I only lost whatever 50 pounds.

Yeah, but that's good. Yeah, yeah. I know. It's great. It's a great thing. And I feel a lot better. And my long COVID stuff has gotten better. There's so much great stuff about it. Real quick, we have to take a break. Yes. So it's the holiday season, which means everyone is shopping, everyone is busy, and everyone's trying to get your money. I swear, every time I, every time I open my phone, there's some wild scam popping up. Just last week, someone tried to convince me

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Visit cash dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Dating confession time. Have you ever been on a perfectly fine date? Then you randomly think to yourself, huh, but what if they're not the one? Then you are suddenly comparing your date to your ex or that person you saw an hinge or literally anyone else and the thoughts just spiral and you can't stop. We probably all had unwanted thoughts like that before, right? But what if they're constant, distressing, and all-consuming? Well, then you might be dealing with something called relationship OCD. And y'all, OCD is nothing like the stereotypes about being neat and organized.

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gift giver ever. Also, listen to this. This Saturday, December 20th, you can visit your Macy store for the great gift card giveaway for a chance to win a 50, a $100, a $250 gift card. Come into the store for a quick access or order online at Macy's.com by December 21st at 5 p.m. Eastern Standard Time for guaranteed delivery by Christmas. That's Macy's.com by December 21st. We're back. Okay. Do you have side effects at all? yeah i get like stomach side effects sometimes do you be shitting sometimes yes and sometimes no i i take i take uh i take magnesium every night and i take two magnesiums and a seneca kit every night senate is like a natural laxative i guess you could say and even still some weeks especially when i go up or anything like that changes it will be like kind of weird and then sometimes you do go more it's very it is a very wild ride with that sort of thing i just be shitting And the nice man in my life, we went to D.C. last year. That was like our first trip together, I think.

Yeah, that was our first trip together. And I remember cornering him in the hotel room because I was like, I'd be shit and I'm going to have to tell him that I'd be shit. I mean, a hotel trip with significant other, that is like the first time, especially. That's tough. Yeah. That is tough. And I was like, sir. I be shitting, and I have these little matches that are incense.

You keep burning them, and then you could just be shittin, and, and it smells good. It smells like Jasmine, so when I be shittin, you're going to smell Jasmine and maybe a little shit. But, like, I be shittin. I literally, like, I remember putting my suitcase down, and he was, like, coming around the corner, and I was like, I be shittin. And he was like, yes, it's fine. Yeah, I think a lot of people are like, oh, you're a human being. You know, they're pretty quick to know.

But that's stuff that I was always, and I think that when I, if I've ever stayed in a hotel with someone, I'm like, I got to go. There's like, there's something in the lobby. I'm going to just check on the thing and then I'll come back like 30 minutes later. It's covered in sweat. Just like sweating being like, and I checked on it and it's fine. Don't worry. Don't worry. I got it.

We went to Mexico and there was a balcony on our room. And I remember I had eaten. Put the toilet out there. Yeah. Put it out there! Put it on the balcony! Not in the room! But I'd eaten just a lot of treats just...

Yeah. Because I was like, I'm on vacation. Of course. And I didn't take my Panjaro. Look, I get it. If you're going to go on vacation, like, I... This is what I'm just thinking of this week. It's not to date this, but it is a holiday this week.

Yes. And I won't say what holiday is. We don't know which holiday. It could be Fourth of July. No, it's Christmas. It's Christmas. You're dressed. It's just fucking Santa Claus.

I won't say what holiday it is. But I am, there's maybe some sort of holiday feast that will be happening. And I'm like, I don't want to take this shot two days before the holiday feast. I'm going to do it the following, which is okay. Which is okay. And I will say, like, the hunger does come back when I don't take it. But I also, it's like an internal struggle, which I don't want to deal with on a daily basis where I just go, I am full

You can stop eating Yeah Stop eating And then I have to like Kind of get up And take a like a minute Yeah And when I'm on it

Like I don't have to do all that But like When I don't take it Whatever It just it sucks It's I 100% get it And also I'm telling every And I know people

Who have now gotten on it I am so I am so very open About this stuff now And I like I said With long COVID This thing

I'm gonna get hair plugs At some point I don't give a shit. Wait, let me see your head. Oh, I see. Right here? Well, here is bad, but honestly, this does... It's not bad.

You have more hair than most. But check out. Here, let's see. Okay. Okay. Well... See? Yeah.

When are you going to get him? I don't... Here's the thing. Balding happens. It does. It's a thing that's happening. Either you go, sure. Or you go, no, I don't want that.

Yeah, as an actor, I kind of don't want. Are you going to go to Turkey? I think I'm going to go to Turkey. I, have you, if you want to, if you want to come, I'm trying to get like a trip together, and I'm like, I'm like, any bald buddies who want to come to Turkey and get it done? And also people who just want to come to Turkey and have fun. I'll come to Turkey. I did want to get these taken care of.

Sure. Because it's all skin now. Why not? I don't know. Unless, unless you're comfortable with it. I mean, it's truly a thing that if you feel, if you want to get rid of it, do it. And if you don't, don't do it. I don't know.

I, like, for a hot second, I was like, no, I really want to get rid of them because it impedes on clothing that I can wear. Sure. Because it'll fit, like, here, it just won't fit in the arm. But then I was like, I don't know. I kind of like having it, like, an accessory. It's a free joke. It makes me laugh really hard when I do it. I'm like, whatever.

I mean, I also, I think if it's something that you are, like, I know that a lot of people have lost. have done like skin removal yeah and i and you know like i think that if you're if it's a thing that bothers you yeah who then who are the assholes who are going to say otherwise about it you know what i mean like fuck fuck them they're assholes also and if you like it that's great too and fuck those assholes who don't like it yeah if you don't like this fuck you But sometimes I'm like, oh, I'm going to have to, like, shove it, whatever. I just, like, play with it sometimes. I thought that, for me, I was, like, 50 pounds lost.

And I, you know, like, I thought it would help with some things below the belt. Like, I thought things would look maybe better down there. Oh, I see. I see. Bigger. Not the case. Not the case so far. Well, I lost weight.

My pussy's huge It's so big People are like Whoa Look at that moose knuckle Which is just an iconic way To talk about a cameltoe A moose knuckle

That's funny It is very funny I have never been a shower But I was like maybe this will help With the showing That hasn't really helped that much Well showing doesn't matter It's the growing part

Actually that doesn't quite matter to me yeah i'm i i will say i am a size queen but i've dated people with you know not the biggest penises sure yeah yeah or i've dated people with no penises yeah yeah sliced right off no i'm kidding women and you know they they do different shit and that's nice too that's in my in in my mind i like i just want my libido to come back i think that is all the self-conscious things have you tried um i've take cealis now i start i just started because of lexapro stuff so i'm taking that but also like you know it's not like i've been having a lot of sex anyways but i but i when you take cealis because i don't know anything about this are you open to talking about it of course so

cealis is it like do you take it every day yeah there's daily cealis which is five milligrams which is what i'm doing and then does it make you horny it like makes things work more down there which With Lexapro, I was like, I, want me to tell you, TMI. I always, I love knowing too much about people. I texted a fat guy text thread that I'm on. And I was like, I haven't masturbated for six weeks. And they were all like, what? And I was like, I know.

And that was when I was like, okay, is this like going to permanently destroy? Like, is Lexapro like permanently going to destroy it? And I've been off Lexopro for like a couple weeks now. And I have at least TMI, been able to masturbate again. Yeah. And so I've done that a couple times since that's happened, which I was like, it's like, oh, my life was going good and I did feel better. When I was on Lexapro and Well Butron, I was like, I feel great. And I feel because so much of it for me is like I had gotten over the thing of being anxious.

And I've worked at, we've all worked at this thing for 20 years. And then when I was having this stuff from long COVID, like my brain wasn't working as well. And I was getting anxious again. And I was like, is this going to like destroy the thing that I've. worked so long to do and there are still sometimes when I'm like on set and I'm like I think I get like a beta block or something like where I'm like my like I'm like my short term memory is not as good and now I'm getting anxious my short term memory is not as good either and I don't know if that's a COVID thing or like are getting you know getting older or like I spend too much

time on my phone but yeah I now will sometimes like in between auditions or in between jobs I'll just try to memorize things that's that's and I first since things have gone on Zoom with auditions, I now have figured out a way to just read with some, I figure out a way to read with someone on Zoom and I never learn anything anymore. And I'm like, is that also affecting it a little bit too or it's like, this is why you do, this is why you used to do auditions is to like get that part down or whatever. I have also figured out how to just read with a prompter. Yes. And so much, I mean, there's so much shit you're not going to even book or whatever. Like, what the fuck are you doing here?

go just learn it that's smart just learn it is it like it kind of helps me it's a muscle memory yeah yeah yeah but i here's the thing bring back i have so many thoughts about hollywood one yeah yeah gabin newsom okay can we clip this out because sure listen Gavin newsom Nicole the elf wants you to make more tax breaks in los angeles california because if i understand capitalism well, which I think is bad, but if I understand it well, the people got to spend the money. So if there is no, nothing shooting here, how do the people make the money to spend the money here? That's capitalism. Also, it's Hollywood. Make it so it's so ludicrous for you to build elsewhere. Make it so ludicrous that Fox can't shoot all of their stuff in Ireland. Make it so people have

to shoot here and use the lots they already fucking have here. That's my one. thought Mr. Gavin Newsome. The rest of my thoughts have nothing to do with you. Bring back character actors. Bring back character actors. Fat, Santas need to be around. I, look, I am 100. I, this is the thing.

I mean, we've talked about stuff like this where it was like, earlier this year. Remember I was like, you were like, stay alive till 2025 and you're like, that ain't nothing's happening. Yeah. And fuck all the streamers. I'm sorry. Fuck all of them. They fucked shit up.

They fuck shit up. And also going back to the thing of like, millionaires shouldn't. We need actors that are leaders. There's no more actors, and I think speaking out on this is important because I'm like, all these people that take these big checks from Amazon and Netflix, Netflix is one of the worst companies in the world. Stop watching. There's not even, I was on a show on Netflix.

I'm very proud of it, and I think it is a good show on Netflix. Well, I think people forget that Netflix is a tech company. First and foremost, Apple is e-commerce. They're also hemorrhaging money for art, which I love. Apple is the one I like more because they're. Like, they're doing it. They put their movies in theaters, too. Like, a lot of movies in theaters.

A lot of people don't know the people, like, a lot of people who don't work in Hollywood don't know that. When a movie isn't in theaters, it fucks over actors and people, like, it fucks over your residuals. Yeah, your money. They're fucking over money. And it's not just, it's not just above the line people. Below the line, people also work for less. Everyone is getting fucked by these disruptors that are so full of shit. Ted Sarandos can suck Santa's dick as well.

Yes. So, I don't give a shit. It's like that sort of thing of like, we need people who, like, I wish there were actors who were like, I'm not going to fucking work with the streamer. Fuck that shit. I also wish during our strike, it was like, like, don't use AI and like, pay us. Pay us what, like, quotes don't matter anymore. A hundred percent. We argued so they don't ask what our quote is, which if you're listening, you don't know, they would ask before, like, if they want it you for a part, they go, how much do you.

how much were you paid on your last part? And you go, $10. And they go, okay, we're going to up your quote to $12. And you go, great. Now they go, ah, we're going to pay you $7 because we don't know. And we're not allowed to ask you how much you got paid on your last project. So do you want $7 or not? And you go, all right.

And they're like, actually, we're going to give you five. And you go, all right. Thank you. Thank you. I'm thanking you for doing work. Thank you. I'll say this. And this will put it in perspective.

Look, I know acting is like a fun job and it's a good thing to have. Two seasons of a show on Netflix, my first season of Twist's Metal, if you add all three of those up before taxes and before I paid my lawyer, my agent, and my manager, which is 25%. I made under $80,000 for all three of those seasons of a show. Which is bananas. All three seasons, just to let people know when they talk about how I have stares in my house or whatever, I've made money, the money I've made in this industry is from podcasting. and it's so crazy and it's like the people who are at the top

I'm like I wish a lot of them would say and look I love a lot of people that like David Fincher works with Netflix I love him he's great and I know that like the studio systems fucked him over so many times and I'm like I get some people doing it but like movies should be in theaters

tech disruptors are so full of shit Netflix never didn't make any money they claim to be like we're losing money they make so much money I know someone who like who worked over this is the thing that like boil my blood like I said three seasons of the show and I like that yeah that's actually

that's crazy And then someone who worked at Netflix, they were leaving the job and they got a severance package of $100,000 who worked in the offices. And I'm like, so like you are paying people. Yes. People are getting over. The actors are getting fucked over. Yeah. And crew, too, of course.

It, like, kind of sucks because, like, if you're number one or two on the call sheet, which means you're the star, you get sometimes an incredible amount of money. Yeah. And that's the budget. And then they go, we don't have budget for, you know. number four or five, six on the call sheet. So that's why they're getting pennies and they're getting paid so much. It's like the pay discrepancy is

so fucking wild. It's crazy. And look, say what you want about Tom Cruise. The man loves movies. He loves movies so much on Father's Day. He was making movies and having fun. Look, I won't stick up for everything the man does, but I'm like a guy who like loves movies and wants

them to be in theaters, I'm like, that is the reason that I love that guy. People argue that like going to the movies is so expensive. And I'm like, yeah, sure, the ticket price is expensive, but, like, not to be rude, growing up, my mom would pop us popcorn put it in a Ziploc bag, but she was going to wash later. We would bring our own cans of soda, and it wasn't that expensive because we brought our own

fucking food in. Nobody's looking in your bag. Bring your own shit. Bring your own stuff in. Like, I love the movies. I can't tell you, like, Madam Webb was such a magical experience. in theaters. Sure, yeah, yeah.

Because we all decided at the top of the movie, this was fun. We're going to have fun, yes. We're going to have a nice time. That's the theater experience. That's fun. Like, watching the substance in theaters was so fun. A blast.

I love the substance. It was so fun to just like. And a little horny, too, if you ask me. A little horny. I mean, very horny. It's very, very horny. It's a nice horny time. There's a great horny time.

I love. I love the substance. Ooh, I wanted to fuck to me more when she was all old with one. Now they're having It is Santa on the substance is what it is now It's fucked up And also That is funny

I gotta say I As much as we're saying We should shame Millionaires for doing commercials or whatever I think we're going to start shaming People like this who like the slop And like the bad stuff

Who like AI Like okay Can I just say Maybe this might be a strong statement What If you love Stranger Things, I think you're dumb. If you're a huge fan of Stranger Things, you're stupid.

I'm sorry, you need to be shamed. You're an idiot. Well, my old thing about Stranger Things is, I thought the first season, I was like, okay. And then I kept going on. I was like, all right. And I can't believe it's still going. Look, am I specifically making fun of it because it's on Netflix and fuck Netflix? Yes.

But also, I'm like, people just are so used to slop now. They don't care. I'm going to get people, I'm just joking with you in a way. You can like stranger things. I don't give a shit. No, you can't. I mean, I just, so many people are just like,

that's actually not bad. And I'm just like, what's happened to us? Well, I was talking to Sishir about this. I was like, I feel like people don't want like. So, okay, we were talking about the mask. Yeah, yeah. When I was like, there's no backstory to the mask. No.

It's just a mask was found. you put it on it turned you green and zany and then like it's it's fun it's like there's so many catchphrases from it that are that don't reference anything can you imagine the mask coming out in 2025 it would not do well it would not do it wouldn't exist and it makes me so mad because I'm like why don't we let people be weird and zany and why don't we let people fucking have fun anymore like because they're all at home farting under their blankets watching fucking stranger things get out stop it that's the best

that's the best we can do is stranger things what's wrong with everyone why did it take so long for this last season why have I heard about this last season for 10 years there's another bad thing it's like 12 years to make five seasons of show get the fuck out of here this happens 12 years of slave 12 years of stranger things

it's taking too damn long this is the issue with streaming shows too it takes so long yes I'm like in like it just is it's crazy it is crazy it is crazy and Then also, I don't understand why we don't do 22. We've talked nothing about dating. Ho, ho, ho.

Sorry about it. This does go into dating a little bit. Well, I don't understand why there aren't 20 episodes of television shows anymore. I know, I know. Like, especially a comedy. I know. Like, if Seinfeld came out, I don't think it would last because it, like, it didn't hit, you know, on the first episode or whatever.

I don't get it. Why don't we let things breathe? Also, back to character actors. We need them back. Because we have Danny DeVito now. I think he started off as a character actor. A hundred percent, yes. And then they said, what if he was the lead?

Yeah. And that's nice. That's fun. That where's our five, five foot five little round man? We need more. I mean, we need more. I mean, the funny people in movies now are hunks or whatever. Yes.

I don't want that. I don't want it either. It's bad. It's bad. And it's your fault. It's your fault for watching Stranger Things. And Millie Bobby Brown? You lie.

I watched some of it. Doesn't she say that at some point? I watched the first season and I was like, I didn't even like the first season that much. If you like it, I was just messing around. They're going to get so mad at me. No, it's okay. Are you going back to Quincy for the holiday?

I am. I'm going back, I'm going back tomorrow at 6 a.m. At 6 a.m. Damn, why? That's just the way it worked out. We had to record dough boys, and I'm going back there to hang with my mom and sister. I do love your mom and your sister.

I know. They love you. They're such sweeties. My sister is coming out here in February for her birthday. And she was like, can Nicole come and get dinner with us for my birthday? I'm throwing out there. Yeah. Where are we going to go?

I don't know. I'll do somewhere nice and I'll pay for it. What about Camp 4? I love it. Have you been there? No, but she'll, she'll. It's like a bougie French Michelin Star Place. Oh, my mom would go crazy.

I'll take us. I'll take us. If you want to join and you're not busy. I just said which restaurant, I would like your family to take me to. I'm getting a steak I would I would I would I would love that she would my sister would be very happy she's coming out she's going to help me clean up my place a little bit oh that's nice they come out here and they help me like I'm a little bit of a pack rat so they help me come out and they help me throw some stuff away they're going to throw away some clothes that I'm now I've lost too much weight for so we'll do some of that okay can I tell you something wild I just got more storage to store some of my fatter clothes because I'm scared I'm like, well, what if I gain it back?

I don't want to have to buy. I, you know what? Collected all these clothes. Maybe I just need to, like, release that part. I think you do. I was going to, this is what I was going to say to you. You look great. You're going to be having, look, here's the thing.

If you give those clothes away, they go to a good place. Not that, and you know that anyways, but also the other hand of it is like, you're going to do great. And if you're, you are happy with who you are. And if you do gain some weight back again, you get some new clothes or whatever. But also, don't, don't put your head in. put your head there that that will happen. You're, you're doing, you're, you look fantastic and you've looked fantastic for, I mean, you've always looked fantastic. Thank you, but you, but you look, you look, you've been looking very good for a couple of years now. Thank you. And I, I don't think that

it's a thing that you should worry about, truly. It is funny because it's, okay, so like, when you lost weight, did you, like, 50 pounds, did you wake up one day and go, I look a little different. It was like, around 50, but it was like where I was like, oh, I look like slimmer. Like, I, like, when I was, had my shirt off, I was like, oh, I don't, look like this doesn't look as flappy. Like I looked as floppy. Like I didn't look like I didn't look as big. You know what I mean? Uh-huh.

I mean, with guys too, like you're, you can like see your legs. You know what I mean? Like you can like you can see like your. No, no. Same with me. I at one point was like, oh,

I can see my feet. Yes. Yeah. That's interesting. That is. That is. And that's. I used to have to really lean to see them feet.

And I was like, I can see them now. Which is like wild. But I felt like it was just like one day I woke up and I was like, I looked different. Yeah. Sure. I think it is because I think you're you're you're seeing that happen on a day to day basis and then you're like oh wait at like you know 50 60 pounds you're like oh I do I do I've lost a lot of I've lost a lot of way yeah it is weird it's it's weird and I also when I was in this is a thing I was someone say virginal in many ways I I guess some people just say a virgin yeah a virgin and when I like went to school I was like I'm a virgin I want to lose my virginity I rode crew I lost weight but it's

It never mentally got there for me. And then as an adult, I was like, because I'm comfortable with myself way more now than I used to be, which is one of the plus sides of just getting older. I don't care as much anymore. Like I said, like, you know, like, wiener size is maybe the last hurdle to get over. But like besides that, I'm like being chubby or the way my face looks, like all that stuff. I'm like, I like, I like who I am now. And like all that stuff has, I've gotten over all of that stuff, like way more. but when I was younger and I lost weight, I was not, like, the mindset never changed for me.

I still was like, I still was like scared and didn't feel like I looked good or anything like that. I'm trying to think because I lost weight. I, like, moved to New York, was in school, lost like 60 pounds because I was doing a lot of cocaine and eating a little bit of pizza that I was just, like, walking a lot because I, like, lived in the city. I haven't tried cocaine since I've done Zepham But I feel like it might be a nice duo Yeah you want some I got a little You have a little cocaine

Yeah you want to do some bumps on camera On a Tuesday Let's just do like Let's say I got nails and do a little bump Come on a Tuesday I do have to fly tomorrow at 6 a.m. I'm not going to bed tonight So it would be the perfect time to do it

You're not going to go to bed I don't think so Well I'm going to wake up at like four or whatever I mean, like, I'm going to leave at four. You're going to leave at four? The flight's at six, like six something. So you're going to board at 5.30. Leave at 5.

To L.A.X? It takes like a half hour at five. No. The day before a big holiday? You're going to miss your flight. Don't listen to me. I constantly miss flights and I go, there's always another one. Do you really miss flights a lot?

I miss Rwanda Boston. My dad was so angry that I'll never, I was like, I'll never do again. Also, gain 100. after my dad and Harris Whittles died. So that is, you know what? I can kind of pinpoint when... Yeah, I started gaining weight again. Yeah, after my dad died.

Yes, which, again, hey, maybe there's some sad reasons that people are big. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yes, there's a lot of different reasons that people get big. But also, when I was happy, I ate, when I was sad, I ate, when I was bored I ate. Yeah. It was just like any occasion, I'd be eating. Is that, Nick and I have talked about that.

Like, your vice being food, it's like every other vice is cooler in the, like, drugs, alcohol, sex. It's like, mine is like burgers. That's what I got is like. Yes. And it's always depicted in the saddest way on television. I'm watching the Sopranos right now. And. Ginny Soprano?

No, she's not a soprano. Oh, I'm sorry. Ginny Sacks. Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where she, well, her husband hears about an insult about her. and then I love

I love this storyline but it is portrayed well she's she's got like it's like a detergent box a tied box filled with candy and she's like nothing I'm doing laundry

and he's like what is and I was like why why is it always just a box full of I'm like that's not which is on Ginny because her Johnny Sacks loves her for who she is which is a beautiful thing

and he's never asked her to die it and she was doing it on her But I did think it was funny that he called off a hit because he was like, oh, she lied to me. So that he should have still. Yeah, killed him. Was it Ralphie that he was going to kill because of it? Yeah, we're ruining this. But also, this is, it's pretty old.

It's pretty old. You're going to watch, I'm going to watch it. What brought, had you ever seen it before? I had never seen it. I had also never seen entourage and that nice man in my life was like, I think you'd like entourage. Turns out, I love entourage. I mean, my God.

Ari Gold is one of the best characters. I think to ever grace the silver screen gold green screen what's TV is that a silver screen oh yeah oh yeah actually good point bronze screen I have no idea I don't know on television like Ari Gold is I was just talking about this earlier today I was like I was you know like people there's been a lot of changes in Hollywood for the good yes and I'm like some assholes can still exist if you have if if if the people they work with respect them and their assholes them but they respect them I think it could still exist are you talking about Jeremy Piven I mean in that show show specifically. I was saying his relationship with Lloyd in that show is like he gives Lloyd a lot of shit, but Lloyd seems to really love him too or whatever. Yeah. It felt like just like a roasty relationship where they kind of like roasted each other. It never seemed like mean, like mean to Lloyd. It's like it's mean in what he says sometimes but I'm also like I just some like old producers that they're like mean and they shouldn't work and I'm like

some of those people really made Hollywood work and like I'm not rooting I hate I'm not rooting for the any bad guys You want Harvey Weinstein I do not want Harvey Weinstein released and working again at the Weinstein company I think he want him back at Miramax

He should only be allowed to play Sanchez That's the only thing he should be allowed to say So I now want two podcasts day being like Get mean producers back A great stance to have Here I think there needs to be less producers on projects because they eat up the budget. That's also, I mean, there are so many people that it's the, we're just in a bad spot.

But I think Hollywood's going to bounce back because I said what I said to Gabby Nussie. Gavin Newsom, you should listen to Nicole. I mean, you 100%. You have families of tradesmen. You have like, people who are like, my mom is a costumer. My mom's mom is a costumer. I'm a costumer. We have a huge, like, warehouse full of stuff that I can utilize because my family's been doing it for years.

And now they can't do it because. Things shoot in Atlanta or in Canada or elsewhere. Can I just say something? What? Governor Newsom, one of my first jobs out here was on your wife's movie. The Trouble with Romance. I was a PA on The Trouble with Romance. It shot here in California.

His wife is an actress? She was an actress, yeah. And you don't want her to have work? Gavin. If you're a last-minute shopper like me, you know the feeling shelves are empty and the ideas are running low. Or a frames is the solution with a gift anyone can enjoy. It is the best digital frame on the market that your recipient is going to love to use. It is the perfect gift because you can preload it with memories and keep updating it with photos straight from your phone. Keep it fresh

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I did Do you have any pictures of you on a garbage truck Ooh this is before smart phones I know this is nothing to do with dating I'm so sorry I I'll see if there's anything like that But I was standing on the back of a garbage truck It was a city it was a city It was like the city garbage truck

Yes so now if a young woman came up to you Ran up to you so excited and said Hey do you can I take a picture of me hanging off the back Would you let me do it A thousand percent. Okay. I really, I love garbage trucks. I mean, if you did that now, I guarantee you, unless you got like the weird garbage truck guy, they'd be like, hell yeah.

I mean, they would be very excited to do it. I mean, I was also 20 years old, so I had no confidence. So, like, I would mean, I would say yes no matter what. Okay. I mean, no women were into the fact that I was a garbage man either. I would be. I love garbage men. I love that they keep the city running.

I love that they're paid pretty well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was a city garbage man, which the two guys I worked with got paid better, but I got paid like the summer rate. So it kind of sucked just for me specifically. I'm sorry. And I remember you want to hear some garbage tales? Yes.

I wore shorts shorts on my first day and we picked up, we went to south. We did the beach in Southie in the Elstreet beach, I think. and I just grabbed the trash bags on there as I was walking back I got scraped in my leg and the guy was like people shoot heroin and put the needles in the trash you need to wear you need to wear long pants and I was like oh okay also we like if there was a dead animal in this road we'd have to shovel it up and put it in so like I'd come home like smelling like a skunk sometimes and then the craziest thing of all is when you drop the garbage off it's at like this big embossessing there's like this big warehouse where they dump the trash and they're like do you want then I was there they're like you want to get out and like unhook the truck because it was me and two other guys and I got out and it's like bigger than the air it's like an airplane hangar I guess and it's and they're just they're they're using a god as a garbage man

you know the what is the thing that the plow or whatever it is they're using a plow to like push all this garbage up into a giant there's just like a huge pile of garbage and it's the most overwhelming garbage garbage smell ever and I got out to like undo the thing and like rats were running by my feet and cockroaches it was like really crazy it was a summertime too but I was like this is wild to see how this works every day it was really crazy and kind of fascinating and cool in a way I mean gross too of course but like it was cool to see it happen it was I was like very I had to wake up I had to be there at 5 a m and as like a 21 or 20 or 21 year old that sucked and I hated it as a 72 year old I would hate it yes it's a It would be horrible. And then the guys I worked with were like, great. We'll be done at like 2 p.m. or 1.30 or something. And then you have a whole day.

And then you have a whole day, but I would like go home and fall asleep and then have drinks and then be like. Got to wake of it. Got to be there at 5 a.m. again. Okay. Here's another question. Okay. What is one of the worst dates you've been on? Oh, man.

I mean, I remember I went to the restaurant Marvin and I had extreme diet. and was running to the bathroom constantly over and over and over again and I also like the date it was that sort of thing where I was like I don't think that we like really click but she still she was like let's hang out and I was like you really did you tell her that you were having diarrhea I was like my stomach is hurting and I would like run to the back like it was like I'm not even kidding like five times over the course of the dinner and it was a and it was one of those bathrooms that was unisex and just a one person bathroom and it was such it was so so so bad but like as far as like them I mean it's you know that sort of thing of like you go out on a date with someone and then you're like oh this person is kind of weird and now I'm like kind of stuck here for whatever but like hold out I'm just like whatever like when this is over we just won't

hang out again or whatever but nothing like crazy beyond having to just having a shit I went on a date once where it was like we went on a date Wednesday Thursday I was out with a friend and he walked right into the bar Have I told this story?

I'm not sure. It was years ago, maybe. But he walks in and I was like, that's that. I've been dating him, and he is now with a woman. Wait a minute. I just told you, I just told the story before this started about the same. And I'm realizing that's a pretty bad date, too. Yeah, tell that one.

When I went on a date with a, I took her out to dinner, I thought she was really cute. And then we went back to Bird's Bar. And there was a UCB improv friend there. And she told him, let's go to your house and have it. fuck and using those words exactly and could you hear it or did he tell you he told me afterwards he's like she just asked me like go back to my place and have sex and I was like oh I'm on a date with her right now rude a little rude but you know what she wanted what she wanted and it wasn't I wasn't part of the equation this guy came in with this other girl they sat directly

behind me and I was with a friend and I was like I can't this is so wild and I was like do I leave he's like no and I was like okay but then they ended up leaving and then I texted him because we weren't like official and so it was like yeah it's just awkward it don't worry about it it's like we haven't had that conversation don't feel weird and he was like oh thank god okay he's like because I still like to see you and I was like okay um and he was like the craziest part is she listened to your podcast a lot and she really wanted to say hello to you and I kept having to be like I think we just got to respect her privacy all right well you know what that's a good sign from him that he at least knew that that yes because that would have been i would have been like you have

you can't this is no no thank you okay here's another question since it's ho ho ho why won't you marry me marry get it merry merry it's a double on tandy what are you doing for christmas you're going to be in quincy i'm going to go back with my i'm going to stay with my mom and sister maybe i'll Hey, maybe I'll get a date in, you know, we'll, I'll see what happens. Maybe. I love, I feel like the holidays are such a good time to be in a relationship. I really love, I like the long sweatpants and snuggling on a couch. Yeah, it is nice.

And then you're like, this is kind of, I'm also a little bit horny out of all this. It's a nice, it's a nice combination of. And it's like a little chilly. It's a little chilly and it's also kind of a heartwarming, horny. Like, like, there's a lot of like, this is a sweet, it feels very familiar, like a, like, familial. something it is nice yeah during christmas i get christmas ribs wait what's the nice man in my life his sister makes me oh my god that's incredible i get christmas ribs i love it that's great and i said do i get

christmas ribs this year and she was like you got it i was like oh sweet baby jesus i'm so excited what okay Mitch before we end yes what are you looking for in a partner What do you want? This sounds, this is like embarrassing, but I am like, for me so often when I go on dates now, I'm like, please let this person like movies. You know what I mean? Yeah. And, you know, like I feel like, you know, a person that I'm talking to now seems to really like movies. So I'm like, that's a great sign for me.

I like to go, I like to go out to. And I know that that's like a boring day. I like to do other stuff too, but like. I don't think it's boring. I think a great date is a movie and drinks or like a movie and dinner because it's a built-in thing to talk about later. Yeah, yes, yeah. But then also you kind of get to see what like their vibe is. Yes, yeah.

And people who are like movies are boring to me, I'm like, we're just, I want to do that at least once a week. And like if that's boring to you, I feel like it won't work. And you know what? Make them here. Not in New Mexico, Gavin Newsome. Make them here, Gavin Newsome. Our issues with you, Gavin Newsome. Newsom

100% Also Gavin Newsom's hot And he might be President possibly Is he? I mean I think he's the I feel like he's the

leader for nominee I want Trump For a third turn I love Trump I'm kidding Trump did low I hate Donald Trump To be clear

The only thing that I have ever seen Where I was like This is good specifically for me He lowered the rate for GLP1s Just recently Did he? The only anything ever where I was like, well, he's

deporting people and ruining people's lives. But he also said, we got to help the fatties. I think it's also probably out of a place where he doesn't like fat people. And also he's fat himself. Yeah, it's a lot of self-hatred. Maybe he has like, um, what's that called? Someone, the most insulting thing someone said to me is that I was Donald Trump's the substance. Or wait, or did they say Donald Trump was my

the substance? I think that's too mean. That's not nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course you're better looking than Donald fucking Trump. That's what I wanted. He's disgusting. Yeah, and a true piece of shit on top of it. But he did say something funny. He was like, I have a friend who's on Ozmpic.

It's not working. And that, to me, was very funny. He's so mean. He's so mean. I think the thing about Trump is that you have to know that you have to be like, he does say things that are funny because he's like a weirdo evil man. And sometimes it's like, that's so crazy that it is funny. But he's, I don't think he is like.

an intentionally funny man. No, he's one of those people. There's people that we know through improv where it's like they are funny but if you ask them to repeat it, they wouldn't be able to. Yes, 100%. Because they don't understand the mechanics of being funny. They're just charismatic.

I feel like I just had a stroke. Charismatic. That was so hard. And you're right. They're crazy people a lot of the time. Yes. And he's the same exact. He's the same exact thing.

Well, we've covered everything. We have, and you know what? That's a no, that would be no for me with dating if someone is like, I was into Donald Trump, obviously. Yeah, of course. I mean, I guess I don't have to say that out. Fucking obviously. I don't want a MAGA person. Yeah. They don't like me. And then when black people are MAGA, I'm like, you hate being black. You hate, you hate yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the MAGA people, the first thing they're going to do is go, well, I don't like you. The mega people don't like black people. Anyway. 2026, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I, I'm, I, I, I was trying before, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna see what happens. I feel, I feel good about, I feel good about some stuff going on. So we'll see. Yeah. Yeah. You heard it here first. 26. Mitch is getting back out there and he's gonna be fucking, and he's gonna be showing and growing. Would you date me? Would I date you? Well, first of all, yes, if I did. that's the best response I think anyone's ever given me yes if I didn't know you I've always been very I think I mean I think you know this that I've always been very in the comedy world I've never yeah you've really never dipped your toes I didn't dip my toes almost ever and I think is smart and also I love you I mean you know I love you and then it's that sort of thing of like you would be sick of my shit faster than anyone in the world i mean like you would just be i think you would be yelling at me almost immediately and i would deserve it

and i i think that for that reason we should never do it but of course i would i think you're attractive and funny and cool thank you all of the above that's the truth yes i love getting compliments But, yes, there's been people that I have in our world where I've been like, I, this could be nice, but I, I want to know off Mike. You don't, you don't, you don't shit where you eat, as they say. No, no. And I've shit where I've eaten a couple of times. Yeah, I'd say more, I think you have, yeah. I'm not trying to out you or something. Where you walk into the green room and you go, no, there's four people up in here that I.

It smells like incense matches in here. Turns out that nice man's okay that I shit. Yes. It's also a very, I'm saying that was a joke. I know what you're saying. I was calling it back. There's a lot of,

there's a lot of, see, I do not have a lot of people in the comedy world that I, which I am happy with my choice on that. I am not happy with my choice to fuck who I have fucked. Because sometimes you look at them and you go, boy oh boy wait this is a good question that I'm going to ask even though we've gone

so over time I've had blast so you're a food critic yes if a date makes you this is a good question if a date makes you a holiday meal and it's objectively bad would you fake it for love or would you let them know I would fake it for I think that the issue is is that I would fake it and that they would see through it and then it would become a thing like I'd be like no it's really good I really liked it and they'd be like you're not being sincere you didn't really like Like, no, I did. And then I would turn to a fight and I'm like, and then at some point I would do the stupid thing where I'm like, was it the best meal I ever had in my life? No, but like it was good.

And then like they'd be like, so you didn't like it. And I'm like, what have I done? Like, you know what I mean? But I would try to, if someone's making me something, the person who I dated who lived next door to me. Yes. My ex who lived next door where my. Does she still live next door? She does not live next door anymore.

Okay. But literally my, literally there's a, I have a sliding door and. that slang door looked into her bedroom and I went I went over there I know it's insane I went over there because I needed a ladder put in like her alley and and between like our houses and I was like do you have like your landlord's thing and and that was like directly the house beside me and then it was a lady who I thought was cute and we hung out and and and then we dated and it felt like very much like have you ever seen magnolia no oh you would love is that Jim Cruz? Tom Cruise? Tom Cruise isn't it? Yes, yeah. Penelope Cruz? No, Penelope Cruz is not in it.

That is Vanilla Sky, maybe you're thinking of, right? Penelike Cruz isn't Vanilla Sky. I think so. And it just reminds me of the John C. Riley and whoever the actresses relationship there. It was, it was a nice, I really liked that person, but, you know. It just didn't work out. It didn't work out. Well, Mitch.

I have one last question for you. Okay. Have you, the idea, like, the idea of losing weight and getting in like better shape, has that ever been like a turn on to you? Because I remember when I was like talking to my neighbor, I was like, I'm losing weight. And like, it's going to be, it's going to be really sexy the next time we have sex. And then we never had any sex after I lost weight or whatever. It's going to be really sexy after I lose weight.

I mean, it's almost a very, it's like a stupid thing of me being like, this will change me in some. order away but have you ever like uh for you as that's a good question and also as you like as you lose as you've lost weight how do you feel do you feel more confident i mean i think you've always been confident i've always been confident and i always knew that if someone was like fucking around with me or like was dating me they liked what they saw like yeah yeah yeah so if i take my clothes off it's not someone's not going to suddenly be like i didn't know you were fat yes you know sure sure i'm saying that from my perspective. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I never, ever, ever, like, hooked up with somebody and I was like, once I lose weight, this is going to be better, because I was like,

it is what it is. Like, yeah, yeah. It's fat. It's not fat. Or it's like, now I got loose skin and, you know, like, I don't know, sometimes things be smacking and making noise, but, like, that's nice that now I have sound effects. I don't, yeah, I just, I don't know how it happened. I just never was self-conscious about being fat. I was more self-conscious about my boobs. I did hook up with this one person for a long time, or I just like wouldn't take off my bra. And it was just because I didn't like my boobs. And then one day I was like, well, they're the boobs you got. Yeah. So like, who fucking cares? Which way those nipples are pointing

and they're cross-eyed. I'm kidding. I would have encouraged you if I was in that scenario to, well, I mean, if you didn't want to, you know. Yeah, I mean, it would have been nice if the person was like encouraging, but also it was nice that they respected that. You know what I'll say?

I would say, get that thing off and then I would have put it on myself. Get that thing off. And then I would have put it on myself. I would have put it on. Do girls like that when men with big boobs? When they take off their bar and men with big boobs put their own.

hottest thing I can think of. Here, take that thing off, and then they strap it on, and they're like, do I look good? Yeah, that's all I would ever fucking want. Well, now we've gone for an hour and 20 minutes. I had a blast. It's the holidays. I also had a nice time. Ho, ho, ho.

It seems like you didn't like it as much. Don't do that. Going back into Santa mode. Santa, what do you want to promote? Well, the dough boys podcast. and Twisted Metal seasons one and two on Peacock. You've been very nice this year, Nicole. I thought you're going to say naughty.

No, oh, unless, I mean, that's your thing. No, no, no, I've been nice. I don't want, Cole. Well, I hope your stocking is stuffed. Well, goodbye. No, sit there. I have to do the outro. I can't walk away after I make a bad joke.

No, I hope my stocking is stuffed with dicks. Anywho, if you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me with Santa and His Little Elf, you can like it, you can rate it, you can subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Give me five stars, write a review. I won't look because for my mental health, I don't need to know what y'all think, but I think for the algorithm, that's good? I don't know. But if you write me something nasty hitting on me to why,

won't you date me podcast at gmail.com. Mars will read it, and she'll give it to me on a piece of paper. And it looks like I ate the paper, but I spit my gum out in it. Okay, this person writes, Nicole, you're back working at Lane Bryant for the holiday rush. That's a mean dream. I don't ever want to work at Lane Bryant again. They keep offering me free clothes, and I keep saying, no. I didn't like the company when I worked for it, and now I don't want your fucking

free clothes because you're a bad company that paid me $7.50 in New York City. That's insane. I got $500 every two weeks. I'll take you to a fitting room and make love to you like Christmas markdowns just hit. I'll have you ho, ho, and with every thrust your, every thrust your coworkers will just think it's the mall Santa. You'll love my plus size cock and I'll cream on your pussy like a freshly made Cinebon. Alex, that was nasty and delicious.

By the way, I had just seen a clip of you telling the toilet story just recently. And I just want to say that Santa and Santa Gabris were both, we're both trying to. You guys were so nice. You were like, we'll tell him. We'll tell him that we broke it. Also, a roll of the die, either one of us easily could have broken that toilet. It was not a safe toilet. I just had to pee that entire time and I had to stand up.

When I tell you, I was had, because I think we had just done the power hour. Yes, yes. I was, like, pretty loopy and was having a nice time sitting on that toilet. I was, I was like, I was truly swinging my legs. But Mars was so quick to be like, here's the picture. It was actually wild that you had it at the ready. Anyway. I would always, I would always do that for you.

And I hope you would do it. I mean, you shouldn't do it for me. All right, well, I appreciate it. I would volunteer to say I was fatter and I broke it. once me and Jacob Wysaki were on a countertop and I don't know why we were like banging down on it but then we heard like a crack and then we're like oh no and it was like yeah of course there was a crack

two fatties were bouncing on it that's I sorry I'm back for birthday boys I remember they got we were doing a military sketch and they were like we got this like this old military cot and it's like an actual thing and I got it and it was like I went down and I was like of course this thing that they were like be careful with it and it broke yeah I mean when I see old

things made of fabric I'm not sitting on that 100% I'm not doing that playgrounds you got to be very very gentle when you sit down on a swing I might pull that chain right out can I tell you a non-scale victory as they call them yes NSV right yeah

non-scale victory yeah I can ride a horse again I have a joke because over 300 pounds You can't ride a horse They're like you'll kill the horse You can't ride the horse And so now I'm like I remember I went to Denver with my mom and sister

We went to like Colorado Springs And my mom and sister were like We're gonna do horseback riding And they were like oh great You can't do it The horse will kill itself or whatever It will kill itself You want to know who else has a weight limit

Camels In Mexico we went camel riding and this was the meanest thing that this company could have done so everyone got a blue wristband and then the lady goes you get a blue and white one and I said thank you

and she didn't tell me why and then we got to the camel and the guy goes oh yeah you're too fat to ride and that's what he said those are his words exactly you're too fat to ride you can sit over there

and hold everyone's stuff and I was like oh wait what I'm sorry to say this but that fucking asshole who says you get a blue and white and one when it's a fucking setting you up

so you can't ride the camel? Yes, I wish she had said, hey, just so you know you can't ride the camel. We're going to give you a different band. Yes, we're giving you a fat, scarlet letter so you can't fucking ride the camel. That's insane. We're afraid you're going to push the camel's hump

down. That's fucking bullshit. It's insane. It makes me so mad. What's wrong with this world? Just the imagery of me trying to get onto a camel And then his little hump is down And their little eyeball shoot out

And it's like, well, that's it. Bye-bye. Oh, ho. Merry. Why won't you marry me? With Nicole Byer. With Nicole Byer. Bye.

Elf Nicole. All right. That was a headgum podcast. Hi, I'm Nicole Byer. Hi, I'm Sashir Zameda. And this is the podcast, Best Friends. And we're here at HeadGum. So this is just a podcast where we just talk.

Yeah. We're best friends. Yeah. We talk. And then we have a segment where we answer questions and queries. So audience members can ask questions about friendships and we can answer them to the best of our abilities. Yes. We are professional friends.

You are professional friends. Subscribe to Best Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, PocketCast, or wherever you get your podcast and watch videos on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday. That's the middle of a work week. I was deeply unhelpful to you during that whole thing. You were. I'm really sorry.

I felt the support. I was so, okay. I was trying to be supportive. Yeah. But I was like, I don't know. Reading seems pretty hard right now. It's a lot. I think you did good.

Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you.