Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Addressing the Lies & Backlash (w/ Ginger Minj)

Episode Date: January 2, 2026

Drag queen icon Ginger Minj (Drag Race All Stars winner S10) joins Nicole to discuss the backlash she’s faced since winning the crown and addresses the "lying" accusations swirling around her - and why she’s done ignoring the drama. She opens up about losing 200 lbs this year, dealing with fans who still have nasty things to say about her body, and shares what it was like getting diagnosed with autism during her psychological review for All Stars.Plus, the wild details about her love life. Ginger talks about escaping a toxic 11-year relationship and finding happiness in a polyamorous throuple. She breaks down what it’s like living in a "Full House" situation with her husband, her boyfriend, her mom, her sister, and her nephew.Check out Ginger's upcoming movie, Stop! That! Train! releasing later this year.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:HelloFresh: Go to HelloFresh.com/dateme10fm to Get 10 free meals + a FREE Zwilling Knife (a $144.99 value) on your third box. *Offer valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as discount on first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan.Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.Equip: Learn more about Equip’s virtual eating disorder treatment at equip.health/datemeFollow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description. This is a headgum podcast. I know that I deserved it. I know that I deserved it. I was there. But once they realized their negativity about me winning wasn't affecting me.

Then it turned into, well, Bob the Drag Queen went on her podcast and said that you lied about this. I'm like, that's news to me. because I'm pulling up my messages with Bob right here and like none of this shit is on here and then oh well this girl said that she said that ginger lied about this thing and I'm like okay so this is all like overwhelming but in like a really funny way

because you're like girl what the hell is even going on it? Just let me enjoy it just let the winner enjoy it but I wasn't even like putting stock into it it was making me laugh because I was like oh my God like everybody's talking about me like bullshit that I'm not even a part of is so funny.

And then all the Miss Mojo videos were suddenly like, even if the video wasn't about me, I was the screen grab. Oh. So I was like, okay, well, at least I'm popular. At least they're talking about me.

At least, what is it? There's no bad press. There's only press. And so why be pressed? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why.

Ooh baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me a podcast where Meena Colbyer was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come on a keychain and call it a Laboooooooo. My guest today is a drag superstar and winner of Rupal's Drag Race All-Stars Season 10. She starred in, wrote, and directed the Hocus Pocus Live Tour, which I saw and I had a nice time. This year, she stars in the first ever theatrical drag race universe movie. I'm so excited.

I've wanted to interview you for a very long time. It's Ginger Minx. Hi. I'm excited to be here. I was saying before we started recording, you look like a cuddly teddy bear. Thank you. And I know this about you.

You like gummy bears. I do like gummy bears. They do not like me. Oh. No, they, because I used to like, I've been sober for three years, but I used to drink a lot and then the only thing in my makeup bag

would be like bags of gummy bears that people would bring me so I would just sit there and eat them and do those stupid videos and I had to have so much dental work because of it yeah I would just like pull fillings out or pull a crown.

I've lost many crowns. So now that I've gotten my teeth fix I had to make a promise to my dentist that I would not do that again. That's devastating to me. It's devastating. Where you just can't have what you want to have because I went to the dentist today and I cried.

I cry every time because the sounds sound awful. And also I had my wisdom teeth removed and they didn't put me under. So I like, I didn't feel it because I numbed it. But like I heard the like dislodging of a tooth. That's the worst part. That's like when you go in and get filler too. Like everybody's like, my sister was asking me after I got some. She's like, does it hurt? I was like, it doesn't feel good.

But it's like the crackling sound that you've heard. filler you get it you don't need it in you it crackles like like like you're cock in a bathtub oh my god snap crackle pop yes but i'm addicted to it what do you have what what do i have i've got cheeks i've got um my temples the bridge of my nose i have chin okay and lips and it just plumps it yeah it's so funny i don't i i simply i know that filler is a thing I know you It changes your face, but I don't know exactly what it does. To be honest, I don't know exactly what it does either. It's basically, like, what it was described to me as is it's basically like joint fluid.

Oh. So they just, like, it's super safe and they inject it into your face when you need a little, like, little, I lost 200 pounds this year. Congratulations. Thank you. Which I'm happy to say is the only thing I've lost this year. Yes, congrats on. All-Stars. Thank you.

This was your... It was my fourth time. Four time's a charm. Sure is. You know, but the thing is, like, I love Drag Race so much that I would have gone back a hundred more times that they have. I still would. It's a fun show.

I love watching it. I love doing it. I don't love watching it. I'm not going to lie. Like, once you know how the sausage is made, it's a little PTSD. Yes. But, like, in the room, I always have the best...

I, like, I always feel more creative than I ever have before. Well, that's because there's essentially a gun to your head saying, you got to make something, you got to rehearse this, you got to do it. Uh-huh. And this All-Stars was like particularly strange in the sense that biggest cast for All-Stars ever, but we didn't all compete together. We did the bracket system. But in those three episodes, you basically do a whole season's worth of stuff.

So you're not just making a dress. You're making a dress while writing the script and a full backstory. and then choreographing it and recording it and then performing it. It's like all these things. So hectic. It is, but I love it. Did you like this format better?

I won't say I liked it better. I don't feel like I'm as close to this cast as I am to my other cast simply because we didn't have as much time together. But I liked it like from a professional standpoint because I'm the girl that likes to go in, do my job, do what I need to do and then go home. Save my baby, you know. But it was nice for that, but I did miss kind of, like, the trauma bonding over the course of weeks.

Yes. Oh, months. Well, season seven was eight weeks. Oh, okay. Oh, that's a long time. It was a long time. That's much longer than I thought. Yeah, I mean, this was also still, like, the logo days.

The whole crew was a lot smaller. So you had to, like, really take your time doing things because you had to, like, really take your time doing things. She had to wait for the cameraman to get around to you. And then, of course, like, I mean, I've been there through logo through VH1, through V-T-V-T-V-T-V, Paramount Plus, everything. So I've seen it, like, grow, which has been really exciting, too. But that's another reason I've gone back so many times. I know it's going to be a totally different experience. It's bigger and bigger, and it's a different experience.

Season 7, you know that that's not people's favorite season, right? It has aged like a fine wine, though. It is my favorite season. I like to re-watch seasons and I re-watch season seven and season five. Those are my two favorite season. Season five, I think, is like

top-tier drag race. You can never beat it. I think All-Stars 2 is probably like... All-Stars 2 is very fun. It's probably the best season all around. But I think as far as main seasons go, like season 5, which I mean, basically All-Stars 2

is just a redo of season 5. Yes. But it's my favorite. It's, um, can I get an amen, I think is a perfect episode of television. Can I get an amen? It makes me laugh so hard. And Shakespeare is one of my all-time favorite challenges. I still watch it.

It's. I still watch it. So wild that there was so many acting challenges and there was maybe two actors on the show. Yeah. It was wild in the room, too. And because it was like, I mean, the challenge. were as divided as the cast, like, skill-wise. Which I thought was really smart because it was like you had somebody like me or Max who could come in and nail an acting challenge.

And then the very next week, you're like, okay, but can you make a dress out of trash bags? Well, no. Nope, I simply cannot. But then you had like Violet and Miss Fame on the flip side who were like, oh, I can make anything. But you want me to act? No, I cannot. Yeah. Eggs, eggs, eggs, always makes me laugh.

It's... Eggs, eggs. After, out of all of the episodes and things that I have done on that show, that is what I hear the most. It's just deeply funny and stupid. And I love silly shit. The sillier, the better. How did you get into drag? How did I get it through theater?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, we're either born through theater or on Halloween. And I had got... I was auditioning for this play at the Orlando Fringe Festival called Boys, Boys, Boys. Okay. And they wanted, I think, eight men willing to go completely naked or two drag queens. And I was like... I'll do the drag part.

Yeah, I was like, I've never done drag, but I don't want my grandmother to disown me. So I'm going to go for the drag thing. It can't be difficult, right? And I, I mean, I just kind of took to it immediately, and I loved it. Like, I suddenly, like, oh, I can finally play the roles that I want to play. I finally feel, like, a little freer on stage. And then immediately, like, all these are, like, buzzards, you know, just circling the fringe festival, all the drag higher-ups from Orlando. Because you were asked to audition for the show, right?

Or did you submit to the show? JujuB made me audition for the show. Oh, okay, okay. She made me audition, because we got booked to do this gig together in it. We were being honored by the gay and lesbian youth center of Hoboken, New Jersey. Oh, Hoboken! Yeah, drag capital of the world.

But we had never met before. But that night, like, we spent, like, the whole weekend together, basically. And after we had gotten to, like, put some of the kids in drag, do a show with them, and do this talk back, she comes up to me, and she's like, like, bitch, why aren't you on the show? So what show? I was a pageant girl. And she was like on drag race Because they don't want me

I'm sure like I am a pageant girl through and through Five years in a row I had done Miss Continental Plus And I had always been in the top five And I was just like I know it's my year I know it's my year You're like I know it's my year But she said no I think you're gonna do this show

Because they need you and you need them Didn't think about it Went and competed at Miss Continental Plus And instead of getting first runner up I got second runner up Okay. And I went, okay, it's getting stale. I need to change things for me.

And I got this phone call that was like, hey, we keep having juju-be blow up our phone. I love that. Like, are you interested in auditioning? And I was like, I mean, are you interested in me auditioning? They said, well, sure. Yeah, but just so you know, like the deadline is in a couple of days, I had never filmed anything before. I still had an Android, not sure how to use it. So I, like, woke up my roommate, and I was like, you're younger than I am.

Do you have, like, one of them smartphones that can make me look good? He's like, well, I have a smartphone. I don't know if you can make you look good. And we knocked out this audition video literally in, like, one afternoon. It's awful. It is so bad. Is it online? No.

I'll send it to you. I would love to see it. The reason I got cast, they still love to tell me this story every time I see them. is because I'm doing my Rupal lip sync, which P.S. was Geronimo because it was the only one that was for free on YouTube and I didn't have any money to go. I love it. A bitch on a budget. I was.

So I'm like painting and learning this song as I go. I'm doing it. I had gone to our neighbor's house while they were at work because we were in a little apartment and they had this gorgeous house with this big deck with a pool and everything. hung up these IKEA curtains they had hanging in a bag and I'm just performing in front of the pool

but I'm so into it I've got like these big feathered sleeves I'm flinging them around the curtains are falling chairs are flying into the pool literally like the whole world is falling down around me and I just keep going

I sent this video in going well at least they'll know my name and the next year I'll try next year I'll put it together I'll get me a little budget and I'll actually put together a good video. Exactly. So I literally was just like, let me just get on the radar and then really work on it for next year. I immediately get a phone call that's like, hey, we need to set you up for

a psyche vow. Oh, okay, sure. I said, was my video that bad? And he goes, no, like, yes, it was, but no, we need to send you for this psyche vow. It's just like the next step. And I was like, how many are there? Because most programs, I do have 12. And he's going, oh, you're funny, you're funny. No, I'm just traumatized. So I go into it, blah, blah, blah. Flash forward, I get cast on the show. And my very first day, we were recording the cover girls album. So before we even met each other, I got to meet Rue.

And Rue's laughing at me. And she's like, I've been wanting to talk to you. Do you know why you got cast? Is that I have been wondering, Mother? And she said, girl, your audition video was awful. awful just cackling in my faith she said the whole world is falling down around you but you kept going and that's a star

she said so I know you have what it takes and I was like oh fuck okay like I never thought about it that way but that's been my whole life right like my whole world is always falling down around me but I keep going and I think that's kind of why like drag race found me at a time when I was probably like at my most vulnerable and has been there for all of the big changes in my life. So I think that's why I keep going back is because it's like that comfort of Rupal saying

the world's falling apart, you keep going. You keep going. I love that. I love that so much that everything is just so chaotic. And you're like, well, I'm just going to keep performing. Because I don't know what else to do. I don't know. I don't know how to fix it.

I'm not going to reach in the pool and get the chair. I'm just going to keep singing. Just keep singing. Are you, you're married, yes? I am married. And you got married. in Orlando? No, I got married

at DragCon, New York by Michelle Massage. Oh! Yeah. You were like, I love drag through and through. I got to get married at DragCon. Well, that was their idea. So they wanted to, like, sell tickets

to this and make it a thing. And I was like, no. It is my wedding. Like, I'm already, like, here. So I was doing a panel, and I said, I'm fine if we do it, like, as a surprise at the end of the panel, for the people who have come to see me,

because I know that those will be like the people who love me that want to be there for that and we told our families so they got to come in and everything but yeah. Did you do like another ceremony or the drag?

We did. Well, we did a reception when we got home. Okay. Because we were like nobody wants to sit through the bullshit, right? Nobody wants to see us profess

our love to each other. You can watch it on YouTube. But we used to have this place called the Worley Dome. Have you played Worley Ball before? No. So they put you in these like bumper cars. and you play lacrosse as you drive around.

It's the most athletic I've ever felt. I'm actually very good at a... It is wild. The wildest part was when my sister, who is a special education teacher, there was this new teacher at her school, so she was trying to reach out and be nice to her and welcome her.

We didn't know this woman was an alcoholic on her off time. She was so blitzed that when she, like, couldn't get the ball, she got out of the car on this fully like electric floor and so she's getting shocked but it doesn't stop her

she just keeps going for the ball and eventually she like falls on the floor and it's just kind of it was wild. I would love to be that drunk. I would love to, yeah. The problem is... Like I'm getting shocked and I'm like, I used to be that drunk.

Which is why I don't do that anymore. Which is why you were like, I'm got to take a step back. I won't be doing this. During your wedding, you were dressed as Snow White and your husband was dressed as Prince Charming. Are you guys Disney Gays? We are Disney Gays.

Well, we're theme park gays. Oh. So actually, I love all theme parks. Which one's your favorite? So, we bought our house specifically because it is... Wait, do you live in celebration? I don't live in celebration. Oh, okay.

I can't afford celebration. In this political environment... No, we bought our house because it's 15 minutes from... the airport, 15 minutes from Disney, 15 minutes from Universal, and then right around the corner from Gatorland. Oh, I've never been to Gatorland. It's beautiful. Really?

It actually is really beautiful. It's, I think it's the oldest roadside theme park attraction in Florida, at least. And what is there to do there? Just touch a gator? No, you can't touch the gator. Well, you can touch the baby gator, I guess. Okay. But more than the gaiters, it's like these really beautiful boardwalks that go.

go through this untouched swamp land. So, like, I mean, that sounds so gross, but it's just... Well, I've never seen a swamp land. It's really beautiful, like the trees and the, all of the vegetation. I guess that's what you call it. I'm not an outdoorsy person. Vegetation, why not? The greenery?

The greenery. The scenery? The scenery and the coffee beanery. Everything is there. They have this one gator called Jalene, who went viral. She was a rescue because she's missing the top. part of her jaw so she like eats funny but they have her in her special like country music dolly parton inspired enclosure they have put her in wigs before for photo shoots she's so cute and

she's really like super sweet i love that the older i get the more i love animals all animals i do too they just bring me such happiness because they're so unaffected yeah and they're just living Jauline's like, yeah, maybe I don't have a job, but these nice people keep doing fun things with me. Yeah, she's like, I get to wear wigs and they feed me three times a day. I mean, it's basically drag race. How did you meet your partner? So the story that we tell our parents is that we met at his workplace, which technically is true. Okay.

But we met on growler. Okay. Which is just grinder for Harry Chapman people. I know what growler is. It's for the bears, for the cubs. For the cubs. And the people who love them. Yes.

We met there. We started talking there. And then he used to be a manager at the front gate for Universal. So I happened to be there. And we met. How Kismet? Because did you love theme parks before you met your partner? Oh, yeah.

They're so theatrical and they're so gay. And I love a roller coaster. So I just happened to be there. It was during Halloween Horror Nights time. I don't do Halloween Horror Nights because I don't like to be scared that way. Like, I love ghosts and ghost hunting and ghost stories and all that kind of stuff, but, like, murderers, serial killers, jump, chase you with a chainsaw. I don't like that. Okay. I get that.

So, he was working the overnights, but I had met him at the front gate, and he was like, I have a break if you would want to come and see me, and we'll maybe, like, get lunch or something. So we did. It was, like, 30 minutes, get to know you kind of thing. And we hit it off. So that night, when he, that night, it was like three in the morning. When he left there, I went and picked him up. And we went to the I hop across the street. And we stayed there for like two hours until I had to go to the airport to go to my next gang.

So then we just started talking. And for like the first month, we were just theme park buddies. Like I knew I really liked him. And that I had... But you weren't like officially dating. No, we were just friends. There was nothing sexual. Okay.

As much as I wanted there to be, I was... I had just gotten out of a really abusive 11-year relationship. Oh, damn. I'm sorry. And I mean, I'm not. I'm not sorry because, I mean, I don't think that I would appreciate what I have if I hadn't gone through what I did. I feel like that about everything in life. Yes. But it was just the first time in my adult life, I had been out on my own.

I was suddenly famous. And I was just trying to, like, live that fantasy, but also navigate it in a healthy way, which none of the ways I approached were healthy, P.S. So I was like, maybe I don't need to drag somebody else. into this right now. Maybe I just need to kind of like just need a friend. Yeah. And I need to go to theme parks.

Now I have somebody to go with. And then we were at Epcot one day. It starts raining. And we're just like laughing because in Orlando when it rains, it rains for five minutes, ten minutes. And then it's done. And it's done.

And it's beautiful. But I love it at the theme parks because all the tourists clear out. They're like, oh no, our day is ruined. If you just waited out, you would nap. Yeah, but they're all gone. So now you just walk on everything. So, like, we're just standing there in, I think, like, the Germany Pavilion or something across.

And we had been drinking around the world with some of our friends. It's raining. We're laughing at everybody running away. And he just looks at him and he goes, I love you. And I'm like, what? And he goes, nothing. No, I heard you. But I'd like to hear it again.

He said, I love you. And I said, I think I love you, too. Ah, what a dream. Yeah. But it was so matter of fact, I was like, yeah, I think I do. I think I do. Like, why fight it? Because, like, what's that going to get me other than frustrated? So, I mean, we've had our ups and downs, but it's been 10 years now. It's been... That's so sweet. That's also wild that, like, you were not in, like, I guess you were intimate in a different way. And then you fell in life. I think that's why it worked, though, because, you... You know, usually I would probably, you know, put out on the first date and catch feelings in a different way and not really know if there's a connection there outside of that. But luckily, we had the time to, like, grow as friends and realize, oh, we like to spend time together. We like to be around each other.

And then, like, the sex just ended up being a bonus. I love it. I love it too. That's so fucking sweet. 10 years is a long time. So like, what are the things of, does your partner travel with you to get? He does now. For the first like four, maybe five years, he was, he's kept his universal job.

And it was tough because, you know, I've been blessed enough that even when I haven't won, I've been very bookable. So I've worked. Booked and blessed, like, constantly. And I love that. Like, people think I complain sometimes. And I'm like, I'm tired. I did this and this and this. You're allowed to.

No, I'm not complaining. I promise. You're allowed to be tired. You're allowed to feel a little exhausted. You're allowed to recharge. Like, that's okay. But sometimes I just remind myself, you're tired because you've been able to do these things.

And that was tough being away. But he ended up, like, taking leave of absence from Universal to go as a PA on a Christmas Queens tour. And then COVID happened. And he got furloughed. and he was like, well, you know what? I actually really loved being on tour with you. So if you think we can make it work,

let's just keep trying that. Then we started a production company of our own where we produced theatrical drag shows. Like HocusPocus Live is our biggest one that we've done. Which was very fucking funny. You wrote that? I wrote it. It's really funny.

Thank you. Like the jokes were just so solid. And one of my favorite things is the three of you were having such a fun fucking. time, and you could tell. Like, there was things that I was like, I don't know if that was scripted or not, but, like, everyone laughed at that. Like, there was times you guys broke that was just, like, so delightful.

I loved it. I had such a good time. And that, it's all genuine, too. I have shared the stage with a lot of girls, and I always have a good time. Well, I don't always. But I generally have a good time. But with Jujubi and Safira in particular, like, we all come from the same school to drag. We've all been in the game for a while.

Like, Sefira may be new to drag race, but she is old school drag. Yes. And she gets it. We're all theatrical people. And we just know, like, kind of like my audition video, even if shit's falling down around you, just keep going and have a good time with it. And we did every single night. It was a different show every night. I love that.

I love it too. Because you're kind of like feeding off the audience. You're feeding off each other. I'm going to tell you who does not like it is Jujubi. Really? No. So I'm like the one I'm shook

I am the one in the middle Juju likes everything Like by the book She wants like let's rehearse it Let's lock it Let's do it And then on the complete opposite And Sefir is like

I don't think I even read the script Until the third performance And then there's me in the middle That's like okay Anything is fine As long as we qualify it But let's just work together Let's listen to each other

So the first couple of rehearsals were wild, trying to, like, wrangle both styles. But then once we realize, like, we don't need to fight each other on the way we approach it, just kind of go with it. We all had a lot fun. And even by the end of it, actually, by the end of the first week, Jujubi was, like, coming out there and trying a little ad lit. Yes, by the time I saw it, she was doing a lot. She would do one, and she'd look at me and go. I think I saw that and it killed me. It was just, and then Safira's voice is just insane.

Actually, all your voices are incredible. It was just, I don't know. It was one of those things where I love a lip sync, but I also really love, like, hearing someone's gift, you know? Well, when I started drag in Orlando, it was a lip sync town. Like, there was a space for every style of drag except Broadway, live singing, anything like that. There was not a space for me. my best friend Gidgetter

who did all the costumes for Hocus Pocus She's insane and talented So good And our other friend The Minks It was like the three of us Were the little Broadway theater babies

That had no home So we created our hamburger Mary's The Broadway brunch Everybody Nobody's gonna go It's gonna be terrible From week one We had a line around the block

We started winning All of these Best Brunch in America awards From like all of these major publications, people were coming from around the country to see us or making us a stop when they would come to Disney. And that's really like where I got my footing. It's where I got my first like little bit of a name, a little bit of fame. And that's what pushed me into doing more and more and more. So I, I love lip syncing. But for me, like I just have such a

soft spot for for a live singing theater queen. I love it. I love it. I, I, I, Broadway, I love a musical, I love a play, I love it all. Real quick, we got to take a break. We need to talk about something. We don't discuss enough eating disorders are way more common than you think. And they don't always look the way people expect. It's not just one thing. It could be constant dieting or feeling ashamed about how you eat.

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Head to Squarespace.com slash date me for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code date me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's Squarespace.com slash date me promo code, date me. And we're back. So you said you've lost 200 pounds. That's a lot of weight. It is.

And a lot of people go, you're so short. I didn't even realize you had that much to lose. I was 360 pounds. I am 5'3, 5 foot 4, like right in between there. And it got to the point where, like, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't do anything. I got COVID, which turned into pneumonia, which put me.

in the hospital, and because of my weight and all of the, like, the compounding issues around it, like, I had super high blood pressure, really bad sleep apnea, pre-diabetic, which I don't know how it was pre-diabic. I was like, I was like, how's this pre? I was like, yeah, I don't feel like I'm in it. I feel like I am in it. But there was just so much wrong that I wasn't getting better. I was getting worse than I really thought I was going to die. Oh, God. Like, sat in that hospital bed for weeks and I was just like this is a like I was just trying to make it was really scary and I was making peace with which so sad to say but I was like I'm fighting it mm-hmm but I'm also like exhausted and I just feel like shit um and then while I was in the hospital but I got the phone

call to come back for all stars 10 and it suddenly like something started clicking in my head and I started like stopped thinking about like feeling sorry for myself I'm feeling super sick, and my wheels started turning about, well, if I did go back, what would I do? And then later that night, like, I'm sitting there in the trailer for the first Wicked comes out, and, like, Oz is my lifelong love. That made me feel better. It was like everything just started making me feel better,

like little rays of sunshine through the clouds. And I promised myself that if I got better, that I would do everything that I could to, like, take my health back. And I have. Has the response been positive from fans? Because I feel like sometimes, oh, I guess I know the answer.

Is the response ever positive about anything? No. No. No. I mean, from half of them, yes. And from half of them, no. And I mean, I love Ariana Grande. I love Wicked.

I love Cynthia. the discussion about their bodies has been so disgusting to me and then suddenly as I'm scrolling through I get past like the 50th article about them and there's a Reddit post about me and my body with like 400 500 comments on it

of people just dissecting my body and there's the people like oh she looks great oh my god she looks sick oh she looks terrible she doesn't look good no matter what she does I liked her better fat I like her this way

and they're like even today I was got off the airplane got in the car and I'm driving over here just scrolling through like Instagram and somebody comments on there you scare me now with the way you look please get fat again

and it's like first of all I never set out to be skinny, just in the same sense that I never set out to be overweight. I have had issues with my weight my entire life. I was 54 pounds until I was 14 years old. I had a bowel obstruction surgery. They had to go in and piece things together. And I just started rapidly gaining weight. And of course, once you hit a certain weight, it kind of takes on a life of its own. And it's hard to get control of it again. So no matter what I did, gym, diets, everything, it felt like it made it worse. And when I got out of the hospital, I had done some

social media content for Dr. Nelson Leach from Blues and Blas. He's this therapist, this doctor, who deals with like LGBTIA plus people. His whole thing is like, let's remove the stigma around, like, just being the best you you can be. And I had done some social media stuff for him. And he was like, I want to help you. Just reach out to me when you're ready. And, of course, I was offended at first. I was like, help me.

I don't need your help. I don't need help. I've done everything else. And if I can't do it, there's nobody else that can do it for me. And, I mean, I was just kind of raised that way. You know, it's like... A lot of people are raised that way. If I can't do it, then...

If I can't do it, what are you going to do for me? But I had made myself that promise. And I wrote him this long as Instagram message and sent it off. And he called me and I answered the phone and he's laughing. And he was like, I knew you would be ready. He said, I knew, I knew that you had it in you to do this. And I had asked him about weight loss surgery. I hadn't really thought much about any of the GOP ones.

Just because I was like, oh, it's just another diet fad thing. Like Fenn Fenn or whatever. Yeah, I was like, it's not going to work for me because nothing else has. And he said, okay, well, I'm not going to put you on OZMPIC because OZMPIC is for people who are diabetic. You're pre-diabetic, so we need to get that under control. But I don't think you need, I don't think everything that's in that shot would benefit you. I want to put you on Zepbound, which I've personally had good luck with. And then I'm going to put you on a diet with a nutritionist.

We're going to get you down to 1,200 calories a day And then we'll build back up from there And so he had a whole plan And like all of a sudden I was like Oh, so I don't have to do this all myself And it made it a lot easier to like take that step And be like, okay, I'll try it That first month I didn't lose a pound

Actually I think I gained like three or four pounds And he's like, you're fine, you're fine? This is so nice Because a lot of people in the medical field are not nice. No. They're very mean. It's particularly with overweight people. Yes.

Because they look at us sometimes and treat us like you did this to yourself. You have no self-control and you have no willpower. If you don't care about you, why should I? Why should I? Oh, God, I've had plenty of people tell me that to my face. And mostly the fans, strangely. Um, so he took, like, just literally held my hand through the whole thing. And then by month three, I had dropped, uh, almost 30 pounds, but it wasn't just about that, like,

the weight loss was actually just like an added benefit because all of a sudden, like, my sleep apnea was gone completely. And my blood pressure was under control. And like, I'm off of all these other medications. And then here, one year later, I am 200 pounds down. And, like, I just, I feel better than I ever have. I had pretty bad sleep apnea. And I...

People don't understand how bad that can be, though. Like, they think, oh, so you snore. No. No, I stop breathing. And you kind of, like, choke yourself back into breathing. And it sounds really scary. I had a... I've told this story on the podcast before, but I was dating somebody who was like,

hey, it's scary when you sleep. And I was like, what do you mean? And then I got an app and I started recording it And I was like, oh no And I didn't mind being a fat person, dare I say It became part of my identity Or a bigger person because I'm still bigger than most And I remember when I started like seeing the weight loss

I was like oh no, who is that? And then the sleep apnea went away And I was like, I really hate that it was tied to weight Because I do believe bigger people can be healthy I just was not one of them. I wasn't either. And that realization kind of like sucks to be like, uh-oh, I was doing bad. And my blood pressure went down, my cholesterol went down.

I was like, okay, for me, I do have to like move a couple days a week and I do have to eat just a little bit less. And it's just, it's a hard thing. And I do this on Instagram. Sometimes I'll go through the comments and if there's a comment about my body, I'll just delete it because I decided I on my Instagram I don't want a discussion

about my body I don't like it I don't either I cannot tell you what a mind fuck the last six months have been for me in particular

I mean Gigli Caliente was one of my best friends in the world so they announced the All Stars 10 cast and like the next day Jigley passed away

I knew it was coming because the family had called and they were like hey if you want to say your goodbyes to her let's do that now so i knew it was coming but it literally happened hours after the promos dropped and then three hours later another one of my really close friends divine grace passed away oh god who played my dorothy in golden girls and um herman munster when we did the munsters um so somebody very close to me and i had experienced the super high high and these two really low lows. And in the midst of it, there were all of these people that were either super happy

that I was back or really angry that I was back or really concerned how fat I was. Which was weird because we shot the promos after the brackets, like halfway through the year before the finale. So I had already lost like 65, 70 pounds. And people were going, that's not enough. Yeah. So it was like all of these things were going through my head and I wasn't like learning how to process it quickly enough. So I immediately was like, I know we haven't had a therapy session in a while, but girl,

I need to talk to you. I need it. I need it. And I was hosting the Drag Race Live show in Vegas at the time. So I was working six shows a week. So everything was happening. The whole season got progressively worse. The better that I did or the more weight that I loved.

lost the worse the response was to the point where what I have worked 11 years for what I have like sacrificed everything in my life for everything I ever wanted I got and it felt like nobody wanted me to have it like I didn't deserve it which I know is a lie because I know you worked hard I know that I deserved it I know that I deserved it I was there I know that I could have deserved it several other times and I know that there were other girls who could have deserved it this time but I don't think that that makes me any less deserving but once they realized their comments about me not um shouldn't shouldn't having what like should me winning their negativity about me winning wasn't affecting me so then it moved on to the body and well no then it

into, well, Bob the drag queen went on her podcast and said that you lied about this. I'm like, that's news to me because I'm pulling up my message is with Bob right here. Like, none of this shit is on here. And that, oh, well, this girl said that she said that Ginger lied about this thing. And I'm like, okay. So this is all like overwhelming, but in like a really funny way because you're like, girl, what the hell is even going on it? Just let me enjoy it.

Just let the winner enjoy it. But I wasn't even like, like, putting stock into it. It was making me laugh because I was like, oh, my God, like, everybody's talking about me. You're like, bullshit that I'm not even a part of is so funny. And then all the Miss Mojo videos were suddenly like, even if the video wasn't about me, I was the screen grab. Oh. So I was like, okay, well, at least I'm popular. At least, what is it?

There's no bad press. There's only press. And so why be pressed? Which has always been my, like, I don't let shit like that get. but then it all turned to my body something that I was directly in control of for the first time in my life something that I was proud of for the first time in my life and not because I had lost the weight but because I could walk you can walk you're breathing better you don't have sleep apnea I could sing I could dance it was hard it was really hard is one of the

hardest things you can do and we can talk about that in a second because a lot of people People have this misconception. But that's when it started to get to me. When suddenly I'm like 500, 400, whatever many comments on Reddit about my body. And I know that I'm a public figure. Yeah, but I think we could just be nicer as a people. Like, we don't have to dissect people's body. Like, even when people are like, well, I'm.

worried. Why? You don't know them. Yeah. You don't know me at all. Be worried in your bedroom. You don't got to say it out loud. Yeah. Well, and honestly, I think what a lot of it is, maybe not all of it, maybe there are people who are concerned, which you don't have to be, because I am under strict medical supervision. But I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that it was the one thing they could really punch down on me for. Because even if I don't, I have the best looks. My looks have elevated over the years. My drag has become more polished. I've always

been very talented. I can sing. I can kind of dance. I can act. And I can be funny. And I'm intelligent. Like there's just, I have a lot going for me. And it took me a long time to really like appreciate that. But I appreciated

enough to say those things are really good and I do them very well. So the only thing that they can say now is a backhanded compliment or oh god I'm so worried about her no you're not

no you're not you absolutely are not you just want to be shady and mean you just want to be mean and so my gosh she has so much loose skin well yeah yeah that's what happens it's what happens

yeah I and guess what I I'm fine with it it is what it is somebody said are you gonna get this all cut out I was like no why should I

I love it I'm fine also who cares like it's your body whatever you do to your body is your choice and I think I don't know I think people should just like shut up about it yeah just shut up this is the one comment that made me like I don't even know what it made me do or think I got this DM from this girl who had been going through those comments and I saw her commenting a lot so I recognize the name she sends me this message she goes how fucking dare you

your weight loss has triggered my eating disorder and you should be ashamed of yourself. And I was like, what does my weight loss have to do with you at all? Absolutely nothing. This person doesn't know you. No, so I responded, like we always healthfully do, you know? And I basically said that.

I was like, you know, I'm sorry to hear that. Never my intention. I want to know how my weight loss affects your eating. disorder since you've brought me into this conversation yeah tell me did she respond she responded she said well you did that people magazine interview where you said that you know you're on these shots and you're on a 1,200 calorie a day diet that's not healthy for anybody about i said have you ever watched my 600 pound life if not i'm going to tell you i do it's one of my favorite shows one of my favorites too i love it i love it because i think you can learn so much yes from i mean you're

Dr. Nile's also the shadiest fucking bitch in the world. He's so shady. He said something so funny where one of the ladies was like, well, that's just not enough food. And he was like, you've eaten enough food for years. Uh-huh. He's so shady and I live for it. But I was like, I mean, it's normal when you're severely obese to if you want to get your diet under control, you have to cut back to. I said, and this has all been done with a doctor and a nutritionist on top of it, like not just one.

And the way it was explained to me was we strip it all back so that you're getting 1,200 calories a day and you have to choose to make the right decisions of what those 1,200 calories are. Yes, it's about the caloric intake, but it's also about learning and retraining your body and your mind to go, all right, there's this many calories and I have to get protein so let me pick this and this and this. What did she say to that? Did she respond ever?

No, and then she goes, yeah, but to sustain that for a year, I said, I never said I sustained it for a year. Every month I went up by a couple hundred calories because if I had stayed at that, my weight also, like my weight loss would have like just plateaued. Like, as I understand.

Yes, it just feels like it's somebody speaking on something that they've done zero research on, or they just wanted you to feel bad or something. Well, I think it's a little bit of both. And I also wanted to keep the conversation going because I felt like not a teachable moment because it's not my place to teach anybody anything. I've actually had, like on the flip side of that,

I have probably talked to 100, 150 other people that have said, your article. I've seen your journey through this and it inspired me. So I'm doing it now. What can I expect? What can I do? And I will sit there and talk to every single one of them. That's sweet. That's nice. Because I had somebody there to do that for me. And that's the only way I was successful with this. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett. I thought I was Beck Bennett. No, no, no, no. I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good. All good. Thanks, buddy. And we host the show, what's our podcast here on HeadGum?

But we want to make sure you heard about a very special episode with a very special guest that we just released in the feed. Yeah, it's in the feed. It was sponsored by Squarespace because they were appalled. They were, that we didn't have a website for our show yet. They were like, you don't have a website? What are you guys? Like kindergartners? They wanted to do something about that.

So we built a flawless, beautiful, perfectly designed website live on the pod with our very special guests and very web savvy guests. Should we tell them who it was? Let's, but we could play 20 questions. I don't think we have time for that. Is it a person? No, it's not. It's Finn Wolfhard. But Finn had a bunch of great ideas for the website.

Beck, you had some amazing ideas for the website. Thank you. You had some amazing ideas for me. Well, I was sort of driving the thing. I was sort of like clicking and... And I was like, let's put a little... Let's put some widgets in there. I was talking about widgets.

You kept on using that phrase widgets. Yeah, there's all sorts of stuff there. You might want to check out the hippo. Just go check out the website. Just know that there's a hippo video and know that you're going to want to watch that. We had a lot of fun making this episode. We had a lot of fun making this website. website. I think you're going to have a fun time listening to it and maybe

watching it. Think of it as our little Christmas present to you. Yeah, yeah. This is a gift for you, okay? It's just like, it's a selfless thing we did for you. Thanks to Squarespace for making us build a website, sponsoring the episode, and for supporting creators across the headgum network. Go check out the bonus episode. What's our website from what's our podcast on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts? Go to Squarespace.com slash Beck and Kyle for a free trial. and when you're ready to launch, use offer code, Beck and Kyle. Yes, sir. To save

10% off your first purchase of a website domain. Get it, Kyle. Look, it's January, it's cold, burr, and it's dark. And if you're anything like me, you just want to be warm and cozy. But we also have to leave the house eventually. That's

why you need to check out the clothes from Quince. Quince is the best place to refresh your wardrobe with those high quality staples that make you look pulled together. I'm talking 100% washable silk tops, Italian wool coats, and perfectly cut denim that you will actually want to wear every day. But the real MVP in my closet right now is my Quince Mongolian cashmere sweater. It has kept me cozy all holiday season, and I've been wearing it constantly, and it's held up so well. And can you believe it only cost $50? I can only get it at

that price point with Quince because Quince skips the middleman and works direct. with ethical factories, you get that top-tier quality for significantly less than other brands. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Don't wait, go to quince.com slash date me for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash date me to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash date me. I like that you've been a Sherpa for people. Yes. Well, but people also think like it's a gotcha moment when they're always like, oh,

O-ZMPIC. Oh, that first of all, no, it's not Asypic, it's that bound. Get the brand right. But I've also never hidden it, ever. I even did a full People magazine spread about it. And so it's not that gotcha moment. that people think it is. But then they also come back with, well, you're just lazy.

You just want to take this miracle shot. Honey, it is not a miracle. I mean, it's a miracle what you can benefit from. But you still have to do the work. The work is... It's hard. It's hard. You got to do your little workouts and whatnot.

You got to portion out food and weigh things. It's awful. Wait, I have a question. So after you were on season seven, did people slip into your DMs to be like, hey, you want fuck? Oh, yeah, all the time. And it was so weird. I mean, they still do it to some extent, although I'm 41 now.

So I've gotten older, and the demographic has gotten younger. So the Twain don't meet, you know. But I was in, I was opening for Wilson Phillips. Okay. In D.C. Pride, like, two months after season seven ended. And I had met up with this boy. It was like that brief time in my life where I was just single and, like, suddenly famous. I was like, oh, sure.

Yeah, why not? Why not? I'll try it. And as we're having sex, he literally, like, turns around and goes, oh, my God, I can't believe I'm getting fucked by ginger minge. And I went, you have to leave. You have to leave. You have to leave right now. Did you finish?

No. No. That is wild. It was wild. What a wild thing to say. And that happened, has that happen again? No, because I've never allowed myself to get into that. See, I had met him.

I was very new to being gay famous. And I had met him on Grindr. I didn't know he knew who I was. Because in my head, I'm still like, oh. Not everyone's seeing it. That's ginger from the bar. You know, she's going to go down to hamburger berries. And it just took me such by surprise.

So, no, no, never allowed that to happen again. What's the worst date you've been on while you were in your single era? I had a few dates where they pretend to be interested to you, but they're interested in you rely solely on the drag race experience. So I felt like I spent the whole time just like... Explaining things and things and telling them how tall Rupal is, how beautiful she looks, is she nice, all that kind of... And it's like, I don't know. mind talking about these things, but you haven't given me an opportunity to get to know you at all

other than the fact that you're a fan. And I don't think you're even a fan of me. Like, I think you're just a fan of RuPaul in the show. And the proximity was good enough for them. Yeah. Like, not that they ever made me feel unwanted in any of it, but it just felt like this could have been an email. Just a little bit of, it could have been an email. This could have been an email. We didn't have to do this in-person day. What's the most romantic thing your husband's done for you? He taught me how to love myself. Ah, that's nice.

Honestly, I hated myself for a very long time. And he would always come up behind me. Like, if I'm, I would go out of my way to avoid mirrors. Mm-hmm. Just, which is so weird as a drag queen. A drag queen gets ready in front of a mirror. In front of a mirror. But when I'm in drag, that's my mask.

Mm-hmm. That's also been the weirdest part about, losing the weight is re-learning my entire face. Yeah, my eye shape changed. Everything changed. I was like, what the fuck? Well, and that's why I ended up getting filler was just because, you know, I lost so much weight. Everything was kind of saggy, so JujuB made me get it.

Ju-Ju-B is the catalyst for all these decisions in my life. But he would always come up behind me and, like, just hold my face to the mirror. And he was like, you're beautiful. Like, just look at yourself. and I do everything I try to make a joke try to dismiss it try to look away

and he wouldn't let me and I mean he's got his issues and he drives me fucking nuts sometimes crazy we actually have a boyfriend

as well oh you do we do we've had a boyfriend and Michael we're the three little bears mama papa and baby bear

and we've been with him Christmas was five years oh my goodness yeah and I love it Because when I... Do the three of you live together? We live together. We live together with my mom, my sister, my youngest nephew, and three dogs and one cat.

Oh, my God. It's our own version of full house. Oh, my God. That's a lot. I wanted to take care of my family. Well, not the whole family. I don't even talk to the... I don't talk to most of the family.

But my immediate family, like, my mom really... When I wanted to be a Broadway star, she... Cashed in her 401k. She gave me every cent that she had to move to New York and try it. Didn't work out, but it ended up leading to drag, which led to this. I think it worked out.

So, and my sister has been a special education teacher for 35 years now. And she's your best friend. My sister? No. No. I love her dearly. Let's see.

Was it in my research? Was it in my research? Oh, your mother was your best friend. My mother. Wow. My mother. Reading's hard. But she also drives me crazy.

But I always promise that, you know... That you would take care of them. I promise myself that if I ever got into the position where I could, I would. And it's a bone of contention sometimes with my husband. Because it's like, you know, you're suddenly the landlord, too. It's not like renting an apartment where if something breaks. And with that many animals and people... It's a lot.

It's a big house. But... But it's still a lot of people. a lot of animals. On the airplane here, I had to pay somebody to put in a new kitchen sink. I had to pay somebody

to come and fix a hole that got kicked in the wall by one of the dogs by playing. We have Elfie, who is our one-year-old Corgi, and she is very much in Elfaba.

She marches to the beat of her own drum, and she has this habit of taking this bowl that she has and fling it, like, up in the ear. air and trying to get it on her head

like she works at Benihana. That's funny. But she flung it and it hit the wall and put a hole in it. So I had to have a whole piece of that replaced. And then I had to have the sliding glass door replaced as well. All on the airplane here. So my husband's like... Busy, busy, busy. Busy. How did you get a boyfriend? What was that

discussion like? The discussion happened... Were you always open? We've always been open. Okay. And it's funny because the first time I met Michael, who is the boyfriend, was, he hates when I tell this story, was at the White Party at Parliament House, which is where, that used to be the drag race event of the year around the country.

Okay. You always knew who the top four were going to be because they would always be booked there. And I happened to be booked there. It was me, Kennedy, Pearl, and Violet. And Michael took a picture with all of us at the meet and greet. but when he posted that picture it was him Pearl and Violet had cut me and Kennedy out completely

I didn't know him at this point I knew who he was but I didn't know him and then a couple years later he had worked at Universal with CJ so that's how they knew each other and we were all hanging out like we used to do game nights and stuff and we were all hanging out of game night

and I friended him and you know like when you friend somebody will pull up like pictures or something of so that pulled up and I was like what is this he was so embarrassed

I still will pull that picture out and be like this remember this is how you're making me feel this is how you're making me feel and we ended like kind of like

CJ and I we just were theme park buddies game night buddies hung out all the time during COVID during Christmas time our youngest nephew you got COVID, so the whole house got infected, and we had been out.

It was right before All-Star 6, so I had been doing, like, promo stuff for that. Instead of going there, Michael was like, just come over to my apartment, stay here through the holidays, so we're over there, one thing leads to another, and it was kind of the same situation where it was like, we're always together, all three of us are always together, and I love you Do you love him? And he goes, yeah, I love him. Well, do you love us?

He's like, yeah, I do. So we're like, okay, well, we can try it. Okay, and it's been five years. It's been five years. And my mom and my sister don't know, so I hope they're not watching. They have to know at this point. Michael lives there.

He does. He does. Do you all have separate rooms? We all have separate. Well, CJ and I have our suite. And Michael has his room and everybody else has their own rooms. But I mean, people have this misconception all the time of like, oh, they're in a thruple. Oh, they must fuck all the time.

The sex. It's not even about that. I would tell you, it's been a long time since the three of us have been in the same room. Do you have a schedule or is it just free-flowing? It's free-flowing. Okay. But it's also like few and far between. It's like any relationship

You know once you settle into it This is not much time I guess what I'm asking is like Do you have like a schedule for like date nights Or do the three of you go on date nights together? We do. Do you care off at all? Yeah, I mean it's just kind of like

Who's together at the time So like Juju and I were on tour with CJ With Hocus Pocus Live So we spend all of our time together I mean Juju's basically become the fourth at this point. She's my non-sexual lover.

And then right after that, CJ went home and Jiu and I moved into an apartment and filmed that movie for a month. So while I was here, he and Michael were going to dinner, going to the theme parks and doing

what all three of us would be doing together if I was there. So, I mean, what is good for one in the relationship is good for all. And we just have really open communication. Do you ever feel stretched too thin between two people? Only after my weight loss.

Thank you, Dr. Leach. No, to be completely honest, no, I feel like it works better this way for me. I am autistic. I need my... And you found out during a screening for All Stars 10? Yeah. I did. I mean, I kind of always know.

You know, and I would always go and do those, like, diagnose yourself online test and it was always like you might want to go get this seat about it but I thought that I masked it well enough that I didn't need to do that until I was doing my All-Stars 10

psych eval and yes you have to do a new one every season like we gotta figure out if you're still okay well I had had the same woman for my first three seasons but she had retired in that time

and there was this new guy who also happened to be one of the psychiatrists that they use on my 600-pound life. So he pops up and I'm like, I know who you are. He was like, how fun, I know who you are too. Now, let's forget that and talk about this. So, like, halfway through, he just goes, I have to ask you a question. And I don't want you to be offended.

I just want to ask you, I said, okay, said, are you autistic? Are you on the spectrum? And I was like, well, I'm sure I am. I'm self-diagnosed. But he's like, I would really like you to go. He said, I think that you have issues with communication. And sometimes, he said, even just in this interview right here, you have a hard time letting your guard down because everything feels very rehearsed. Ah.

And he said, I can tell it's not. But I can also tell that you have played these scenarios, any possible scenario out in your head many times. because communication scares you. So I think you need to go and check it out. And if you are, try to learn some coping mechanisms on how to deal with that. Because if you're going to be on this show again, especially as you're getting older

and you know how the fan base reacts, I want you to take care of yourself and arm yourself well enough that you're going to be able to compete. And of course, me in my head, I'm turning it over. He doesn't want me to do this. He's not going to approve. Just going to a different place. Totally different plays.

Do you think the diagnosis helped with you being on television and did it help with your relationships? I think it's helped me all around. Like, even having this conversation with you right now, like I feel more at ease than I probably ever have before. And I think that. I like it too. It's nice to know what's going on.

As soon as I got diagnosed with ADHD, I was like, ah, yes. Because I can say out loud to someone. I was nodding, and I heard words. I did not take them in. Do you mind repeating it? So I'm autistic and I have ADHD. A lot of times those go hand in hand, and I'm very much the same way,

and I would just find myself dissociating a lot. And you can actually see it on All Stars 10. Oh, really? During Untucked for the Snatch Game episode, when Mistress keeps coming for me, and she's trying to get me riled up. I had made a promise to myself and to my therapist that I was not going to allow any of the girls to get to me. For better or for worse, I wanted to do this competition for myself because I felt like the first three times I didn't.

And I was like, you're not going to get another chance. I mean, I say that every time. But I was like, this probably truly is your last shot at this. And whether you win or lose, I really want you, talking to myself, I really want you to just enjoy the experience and just be the best that you can be. And the other seasons, I was so worried about what everybody else was wearing, when everybody else was doing, what everybody else was saying,

to my detriment. I would let people psych me out. I would psych myself out because of other people. And I didn't want that to happen. So I was purposely, like, blocking, mistress out as she's coming for me and coming for me and coming for me in that untucked and you can see me completely just

dissociate. I just go to another planet. Just go away? To the point where they called cut, which they never call cut and untucked. And the producers come over and they're like, are you okay? I'm like, huh? I'm great. I'm fine. I'm fantastic. I'm fine. I'm in a nice land where I'm protected.

Yeah, well, and I'm also sober three years now. So going back to Drag Race, That's a completely different experience, not having any kind of alcohol or anything. So there was a lot of things for me. But, like, cosmically, it just felt like it was the time to make those changes. And it felt like it was the time, like, if it was ever going to happen, it was going to be now. So there were several times during the season where the producers would be like,

you're good? Are you here? Are you here? You're like, no, I am. I'm like, now I am. Do you have any advice for single people? Just don't force it. I got into some really bad relationships or situationships or one nightstands, whatever,

including that very toxic 11-year relationship because I was trying to force something. I really desperately wanted. My whole mindset was being raised in my Southern Baptist household, being told that by this time in your life, you're married, by this time you have children, by this time you've got your career, whatever that may be. And I was trying to take what life I wanted and force those other things on top of it. So I allowed people to take advantage of me. I allowed myself to be steered in directions I probably shouldn't have been. And I did a lot of things that I won't say I'm not proud of because like even when I was a sex worker,

I stand behind that. I did what I had to do, but I don't like the situation surrounding why I had to do that. You know what I mean? That makes sense. Yeah. It's like I did what I needed to do.

I don't love the circumstances, which led to that, but I did it. But I did it. I acknowledge it. And it happened. And I'm better because of it. Like, I don't regret anything in my past. But I also, I wrote in my book,

Southern Fried Sass available now at all fine retailers. I wrote in my book that my ex had passed away a couple years ago and immediately people started reaching out to me. I hadn't spoken to him in seven years. And all of these people who, when we broke up, here's my autism, everything is spinning all at once and I'm trying to figure out exactly how to say and what to say. We were talking about how, like, some of the girls have gone on and made up shit about me, made up lies, and I don't fight it.

That's because whenever I left him, he made up a bunch of lies about me. Basically, the things that he was doing to me, he said I was doing to him, like, abuse and everything. And the publicist I had at the time said, don't acknowledge it. Remember, this is immediately, like, after season seven starts. So I'm on season when all of this is going. We had been broken up for a little while, but he was waiting. He was waiting for that moment to strike, where it would hurt me the most. And I didn't acknowledge it, which turned out to be the right thing at the moment,

because the fans didn't acknowledge it after that. Like, it died off after like a week or so. So then flash forward to the end of this season Social media is a different beast than it was then And with these girls making up stories about me And saying untrue things I chose not to acknowledge it Because I was like, you know what, that's their journey

It's what they're saying Let them get their clicks and their likes It'll go away if I just don't acknowledge it That's not true Because it's a different thing now Now it's building And every single time I post anything, whether they're there to tear me down about my body or call me a liar for something that I'm not even a part of, it's overwhelming sometimes. So it's always trying to like figure out where I am at mentally in my life and saying, okay, this is what I'm capable of and this is what I have the bandwidth for and this is what I don't.

And that's my very long way of saying don't. Don't get yourself into a situation where it's going to blow up on you. And you're going to be the one that's left to pick up the pieces just because you were willing to settle. I stopped looking and I didn't find one. I found two. I like that. Two people that. Stop looking and you'll find not one but two.

Yeah. I mean, it's two people that love me unconditionally. It's two people that are as invested in my career as they are. are as me as a person, and two people I feel completely safe with. So I think that that never would have happened if I hadn't gone through all the things that I did, but I'm grateful I never have to do that again. I love that. Much like Drag Race.

Never have to do it again. But I'm grateful that it happened. Well, Ginger, we've come to the end. No! I know. I could talk to you for hours. Here's a question. Yeah. Would you date me?

I've slid into your DMs before I think you're beautiful I think you're funny and you got a higher profile than I do Ry those coattails Ginger do you have anything that you want to promote Well like I said my book Southern Fried Sass is out there

It's been out for a couple years People love it It's my life story set against 50 Of my favorite recipes And that's also been an interesting journey like food is my love language so as i've reintroduced foods i have found ways to take those recipes that i love so much and morph them into something that really works for me now so if you've got the book and you're on this journey too reach out to me i'll tell you exactly how to fix this i love that

um jujib and i are starring and stop that train which comes out may 29th in theaters in theaters Go to the theater. It's a spiritual three-fold to Wiccan. We're holding space for it. Holding space for it. And then other than that, like, Broadway's around the corner. Got to figure out exactly how to make it work. But the negotiations are there, and we're getting that going.

And HocusPocus Live will be back. I love that. Well, if you like that episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you could like it, you can rate it, you can subscribe. Give me five stars on Apple Podcast. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me to Why Won't You Date Me Podcasts at gmail.com, I will read it. This person writes, Dear Nicole, it's 2008. And this is the final battle of the cyber truck apocalypse.

Those fugly ass trucks became our AI overlords, and now they must die. You let out a war cry as you machine gun the final robots. I should shoot, too, but I can't stop watching you. Your sonic dog tag necklace bounces on your tities. With every shot, sweat trailing down your chest with heavy breath, eventually disappearing between your beautiful glistening breasts. Fuck, Nicole, I need you right now.

You finish shooting and notice me looking. We lock eyes and suddenly we're kissing. We pause and look over at our ride. You're 1994 Mitsubishi 3,000 GT. You say, fuck me on the car on this moderately priced normal car. Give it to me on the hood like they did back in the old days. I oblige bending you over the hood. And my God, that ass is perfect.

I pull my strap out. You know I stay ready. No chat GPT. No maps app are needed here. I simply use my horned-up lesbian instincts to navigate my dick into your dripping pussy. We fuck for hours on the hood of your beautifully normal car. From dust till dawn, our orgasms shake the earth.

These are the first glorious orgasms of an AI-free world with admiration for the laughs and that ass. Bean tea They them Thank you I don't know why The pronouns were there And I just said it

Why not Bean tea, thank you I love this one I love that too Isn't that fun I kind of want a graphic novel I would love a graphic novel I don't know if it could be more graphic than that

Bean tea if you draw Draw the novel Goodbye Actually if you don't draw The novel Yes and send it to Why Won't You Date Me Podcast at gmail.com

Goodbye That was a hate gum podcast.