Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Best Relationship Ever! (w/ Jimmy O. Yang)

Episode Date: November 26, 2021

Comedian and actor Jimmy O. Yang (Silicon Valley, Love Hard) joins Nicole to tell the story of how he met his girlfriend, discusses at what point does a relationship become serious, and suggests Nicole change the name of the podcast in order to better manifest a partner. Jimmy gives acting tips and shares what he would teach in his 'practical acting' course, and Nicole's excited to have started watching The Office. Crazy dating story? Looking for advice? Let Nicole and her guest help you out. Submit your stories, questions, or dirty pick-up lines to [e-mail] for a chance to have it read on-air. Black Lives Matter. Click here for a list of over 100 different ways you can support racial justice. Follow Nicole Byer: Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerNew Merch Store! podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Ooh, baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me, a podcast where me, Nicole Byer, tries to figure out how I'm still single, even though you could sleep with me on the top bunk of a bed and push me right out in the middle of the night. I'll get up, dust myself off, and say, wow, I guess you needed space. My guest today is an actor and comedian known from the HBO series Silicon Valley. Today is an actor and comedian known from the HBO series Silicon Valley.

You also know him from Crazy Rich Asians and the new Netflix rom-com Love Hard, where he plays a catfish. It's Jimmy O. Yang. Heyo. Wow. I love that intro, Nicole. Thank you. I tried. I came in a little too hot. But then you stayed hot.

You stayed hot, tours to end. It was very nice. Jimmy, where are you from? I came in a little too hot. But then you stayed hot. You stayed hot, tours to end. It was very nice. Jimmy, where are you from? I'm originally from Hong Kong, but I grew up, high school, I was in LA. Oh. So a bit local, a little local. I thought you were from the East Coast.

You have kind of an East Coast vibe and accent. People tell me that. I think when I came from Hong Kong, my English was not good good i could barely speak english so i learned english by watching tv so in high school i watched a lot of rap music videos comic views stuff like that and then in towards college i started watching a lot of sopranos okay so i think a lot of my accent especially when i get drunk you know i sound like a 50 cent mixed with tony soprano i fucking love it that's so funny to me when i get drunk i sound very jersey because that's where i grew up and he could take a bitch out of jersey but you can't take the trash out of her heart there you go exactly uh when did you move here from hong kong i didn't know you

were from hong kong, when I was 13. So that was eighth grade. A pretty weird period, I think, for anyone in their life. Yeah. Especially an immigrant, the five feet tall little boy who couldn't speak, you know, English. Yeah, you're like going through peer printing. You're like, I don't know who I can tell about this. This is tough.

It's tough. I'm going through this alone. Yeah, exactly. about this this is tough it's tough i'm going through this alone yeah exactly uh it it was i i think it it was weird because i i never really got like bully bullied you know like as small as i was i was like fairly decently athletic but i was also inadvertently funny i don't think i was like trying to be funny in middle school i'll just say weird shit that's kind of wrong and like had just learned some slangs from comic view and stuff and then just became inadvertently the funny kid i mean honestly that's the best way to do it you just like accidentally are funny and then you're like huh maybe i can make a whole career out of this when

you don't try when you don't even know why you're funny. People just look at you and they laugh. You know? Which is maybe not the best thing either. Yeah. I once had an audition where it was kind of serious. But it was like two lines. And the casting director laughed and was like, you're funny. You're not going to get this.

But you're funny. And I was like, well, all right. At least somebody's laughing. Yeah. It's like, at that point, do you take it as an insult? Like, do I look funny? Because that happened on Silicon Valley. The very first episode was shot, the I eat the fish thing.

And then I remember doing one take, Mike Judge was just like, just look at TJ. Don't say anything. And I promise you it would be funny. And then it was just, even the crew started laughing. I don't know why, but it was just, I guess I looked funny. Yeah, it's fully a compliment. And also it just you'll go home and be like, why was just my face funny?

Then you have like a crisis looking in the mirror and you're like, is this funny to people? Yeah, man. I usually have a crisis until the check clears and then I'm all good. Then you're like, I don't give a fuck why anybody was laughing. Exactly. The bank account's growing and that's growth for me. Oh, shit. Okay.

We were talking before we started or before I started recording. I like this cabinetry behind you. Thank you very much. And you said you have a guy. How did you find a guy to do things around your house? Well, I think when you have a house, you need to have guys. I have a contractor and a contractor is a middleman. But you can't always a guy to do things around your house. Well, I think when you have a house, you need to have guys. I have a contractor, and a contractor is a middleman. But you can't always use your contractor because he charges a lot of money.

Bigger stuff, like if you remodel your kitchen, sure, contractor. But then you also need a guy that does everything, like installs your buildings, paints walls, fixes your fence. Everybody needs a guy. big six-year fans everybody needs a guy uh i found this guy i think my garage door guy which is a different guy recommended me for him to stain my garage door so then he recommended a couple other dudes so his name is rick that's my guy my garage in my phone he saved as rick garage door you know uh stain and then through through him, I met Maury. He has a couple other guys. So now it's Rick and Maury.

They're my guys that does everything big or small, sanding down a table, restaining certain things, painting my house or installing cabinetry. Wait, did you paint your whole house? Like the outside? Yeah, I did. I did. I did.

What color? Oh man, it was, I wanted it to be white, Like the outside? Yeah, I did. I did. I did. What color? Oh, man. It was, I wanted it to be white. But my neighbor's house is too white. It looks slightly like a hospital, you know? So I was like, I don't need that white, you know? And then Rick experimented with it and he painted it with this paint color called super white. I think Sherwin-Waltz.

I'm like, Rick, super white sounds very white. It does. I told you i don't want that white but he's like i trust me he's an old old guy he's like trust me man it will it will knock your eyes out it will when you see it it will knock your eyes out jim and i'm like all right try it and then he did it i was like i'm sorry i'm gonna have to ask you to redo it because it it is blinding me so i ended up choosing um i believe sherwin-williams alabaster which is slight off-white yes it's like bone white if you will oh i like that uh yeah yeah yeah very nice exactly that's so funny that he was like trust me it's gonna knock your eyes out and you're like that's not what i want but you know go ahead and then you're like i was right right. It looked nice.

It looked nice, but it just didn't look like a home. You know what I'm saying? I always have to redo stuff as part of my process, which is very annoying to my guys. And expensive. Yeah, paint and stuff is fine. When it comes to cabinetry, that's a little expensive. I know this is a relationship podcast, but I love houses. Did you like remodel any of your house?

Yeah. So when I bought it, everything was from like 1949 or something. So I redid the kitchen. I don't know. It was during the pandemic. So it was okay. It was very stressful in a way because I thought I was smart I was actually shooting

Love Heart in Vancouver I'm like I'm gonna be gone the contractors can do their thing you know but the thing is I don't know

like you want to be there to see the progress yeah and you want to be there to keep the pressure on them because I you know I was being too nice

I was like oh you guys take your time I'm gonna be in Canada for 10 weeks don't worry about it just as long as you get it done and it was supposed to be like a six-week project ended up taking like 15 weeks yeah you know so by the time i came back i had to rent an airbnb i stayed

at my parents house because i was being too nice i like with with contractors you gotta really treat them like animals because they because they are used to other people treating them like shit so so they're just really abused dogs is what they are so you gotta really be like hey man i know you said six weeks but fuck you get it done in four weeks and then they'll get it done in 10 you see that that does make sense i had my bathroom redone because my shower was leaking i felt so lucky to have that problem and i was told to be like four weeks and it ended up being truly like i don't know 15 it was like yeah it was insane it then the tile took so everything took so long yeah and then also during a pandemic you know people were like uh you know everything's back order this and that

blah blah but i i know sure that's part of the reason but most of it was he has bigger more expensive projects he's doing you know what I mean whoa I said mm-hmm but that really never occurred to me

that it's like oh we're just doing her shower because it wasn't a full gut it was just the shower and it's like he probably had a full fucking renovation that he's like

yeah that he's like flipping a house for like three million dollars you know this is segues into the relationship segment in in this you know i feel like sometimes people are like willing to hang out yeah but you're not their priority and you can feel it and that's how i felt when i was messing with that contractor i don't i okay are you single are you dating no i uh i'm dating. My girlfriend, we've been going out for like five months now, something like that. Okay, that's like a solid amount of time.

I love it. So before she was your girlfriend, when you were like out in the streets dating, were you the type of person to date multiple people? When it's serious, no. When it's casual, yeah, I'll go on different dates, whatever, you know, just dating, you know. But once if I'm, you know, once it gets to like three, four or five dates and I'm getting more serious, I usually like, you know, I don't like it's too much effort to then date other people. Like, like, like, well, like with my girlfriend now, she's great. date other people like like like well like with my girlfriend now she's great and i remember like the first maybe two weeks after we're dating i was already texting people back hey i'm seeing

this girl seriously uh you know blah blah i love that because i feel like a lot of people or in my experience i've dated people for like a couple months we've been on like you know eight nine dates or whatever. And I'm like, you're still talking to other people. I'm not because I don't have the time. And also, yeah, the bandwidth in my fucking brain. Well, you got I feel like that's a conversation. You got to be clear, you know, like maybe not the exclusive conversation yet.

You don't want to rush that, you know, but it's like early on. It's like, hey, you know but it's uh uh uh like early on it's like hey you know i i take you very seriously you know just even putting it out there and um i don't know yeah i i i try to be honest and i just don't want to put myself in that situation like say i start answering a text right and then say even early on a relationship then it's like oh do you want to go get a coffee i'm I'm terrible at saying no. And then I'll feel bad for like, ah, blah, blah. So if I just say clear cut, I'm like, this was maybe two weeks into our dating, you know, my girlfriend now.

She wasn't my girlfriend, but I was very much like, hey, you know, I'm seeing somebody seriously. You know, goodbye. Goodbye for now. That gives me hope that somebody will do that for me. They'll be like, listen. There are good men out there, you know? I'm seeing so much. That's like, that's nice.

That's so nice to just say to somebody. Yeah. And I think when people are wishy-washy, that's suspect, you know? Yeah, it's not nice. No, no, I don't like it. I don't like it either. And I feel like we're in an industry where people get real wishy-washy they're like all right we have you pinned for

this but also the offer's out to somebody else and who knows if you're gonna get it oh you fly out tomorrow or you just never hear back and you're like just it doesn't hurt my feelings just tell me no yeah everyone just want to keep their options open, which I don't blame them. But at the same time, if you play that game even with yourself, you're not going to end up in a great, serious relationship. Because I feel like it's like people do this in college. It's like you should get a degree that should be your backup career. Even if you want to do stand-up, you want to do acting. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. Cut the cord.

Cut the safety net. Then it forces you to have to succeed. And I feel like it's the no no no no cut the cord you know cut the safety net then you it forces you have to succeed and i feel like it's the same thing with relationship if you're gonna keep your relation uh uh options open you're shooting yourself in the foot and not you end up not taking anyone seriously jimmy over here spitting the truth i agree with you yeah i wish more people were because it doesn't hurt my feelings after like three or four dates if you're like you know Respite in the truth. I agree with you. Yeah, I wish more people were, because it doesn't hurt my feelings after like three or four dates

if you're like, you know, I don't really see this going anywhere. Can we just be very casual and then like not expect anything from each other? I'd be like, okay. Yeah. Or I can make a choice and be like, well, no. Yeah.

You know? Sometimes like for me, it's almost to a fault. Like I just want to know, you know? Maybe I feel some way, maybe they don't, you know, but it also comes with age. Like if I was dating someone like much younger, whatever, I know it's not going to be right. If I'm dating someone that's like a serial monogamous, that's like, you know, age appropriate that I can really see a serious relationship, then yeah, that makes more sense. Even, sense even you know i don't know i guess the cliche saying it's like when it's right it's right you just you just kind of know you guys on the same page but who knows you also hear nightmare stories yes of like you've been dating for two years of course you think your boyfriend and girlfriends and then boom they're like nah we're not that serious like you hear that too

and that messes you up for life yes Yes, because you're like two years. That's kind of like, I think it's DaBaby and Danny Lee. They have like a kid together. They've been in Instagram videos together. And then I guess it was like an Instagram video that got leaked or not leaked, but like I think he had posted it, but she was like, I have a closet here. What do you mean I'm not your girlfriend or whatever? And I'm like, yeah, if you have a closet at somebody's house, you're very much in a relationship. Well, it depends whose house. friend or whatever and i'm like yeah if you have a closet at somebody's house yeah your date like

you're very much in a relationship what depends whose house you know his house maybe it's 10 bedroom with like eight closets yeah but if i'm taking one of your eight closets i think we're a little serious now see see here's the thing though i think a lot of times girls do this where, like, there's signs. Like, say, okay, y'all take over a closet. And that's a sign, clear sign to a woman that, of course, we're in a serious relationship. But guys are so thick sometimes. We don't see that. You know what I mean?

Like, oh, okay, she brought a toothbrush here. Okay, maybe that's a sign to some people. I don't know that. You know, sometimes. So, I think it's, like, we brought a toothbrush here. Okay, maybe that's a sign to some people. I don't know that. You know, sometimes, so I think it's, like, we're so dumb sometimes. Like, it's probably better to just be like, hey, you know, so where's this going? What's up? Yeah, maybe that's, I gotta be more upfront

when I'm like, I think I'm feeling something. I gotta say something. I was, I got a tattoo the other day and I was talking to the artist and he said something about his wife. And I said, oh, well, I'm always interested in people's relationships, whether it's on a podcast or not. But I was like, when did you guys decide to be serious? And he said, like, as a girlfriend or something or marriage? And I was like, just as your girlfriend.

He goes, well, we were dating for a year. We were sitting in the parking lot of my apartment complex she looked at me and she goes um i love you and then he said i was like what you love me and i was like after a year you that was a surprise after a year with this person they said i love you so i think you're on to something with men being just a little a little thick in the head yeah and i don't know everybody goes at their own pace but i think when i was younger i would be afraid to be like hey what we add at this are we taking each other seriously right because you don't want to be rejected or you

don't want to push too much and then they leave but i think when you're old enough it's like you know what if i'm like are we serious and she's like i'm still options open. You go home, beat yourself up for a day, and then you get over it. You know what I mean? It's better to know. I always say if somebody treats me very poorly or say a girl cheats on me or something, I'm not even mad. That's just a sign. You show me who you are, and now I can move on. You know what I mean?

That is healthy. Is now I can move on. You know what I mean? That is healthy. Is that healthy? It is. When someone shows you how they're going to treat you to go, thank you. And then I can say goodbye. That's perfect. I dodged a bullet. Like, thank you.

Goodbye. Yeah. Did you ever date on the apps? Oh, I did. I did. Yeah. I used Tinder, Bumble. I tried that Raya, whatever they called it.

Yeah. So, yeah, I tried most of them. Did you have any luck on the apps? It was okay. Tinder, that was when I was much younger. It was some casual dating. Bumble, I think I went on a couple. It's all very hit or miss.

Yeah. casual dating bumble i think i went on a couple it's all very hit or miss and yeah uh raya didn't really work for me too well because i'm not like a a dj or anything like like or a male model you know like i i am like the coolest person on tinder but the least famous celebrity on raya you know yeah that didn't work and and it was just a bit highfalutin i don't hang out in those i don't i don't like going to like nobu or soho house anything highfalutin anyways so um the other apps yeah it works for like a little bit but then it's kind of like what i'm saying about keeping your options open it's hard to find somebody that you want to commit to and somebody i want to commit to you because you know she can go on that app the same day and find 50 other people and you can go you can also go on the same app and find 50 people just so just knowing the fact that each other is on that app it becomes very difficult

for me mentally yeah it is it is a wild thing to like know, open your phone and be like this person. I pick them and I'm going to go out and hopefully we like each other. It's so wild. It's a lot. It's definitely like it's like a shotgun. You just spray your bullets and hope it hits something. It's a numbers game. I would say, though, I never used this app, I don't think. But two of my best friends, they met their wife and fiance, not fiance, wife and very long-term girlfriend on a coffee meets bagel, which kind of fixes the problem

I was talking about just now of, uh, uh, you don't like it. I hate coffee meets bagel because you have to earn beans. Oh, oh, I don't like the gaming fine. Now I don't know how it was, but how it is. But how was it? It's like the simple fact that you can only get one match a day, which solves the problem of what I was saying earlier, you know? Oh, I didn't even realize that was their whole thing, that you only get one match a day. I was really stuck on like,

why do I have to earn beans to swipe on people? How do you earn beans? I don't know. I never figured it out. Wow. Jeez. Yeah, maybe they changed it. I don't know. Because I'm like, how do you make money if it't know i never figured it out wow geez so yeah maybe they changed it i don't know because i'm like how do you make money if it's just one match a day you know yeah i don't

know it worked i mean i see my best friend from high school you know he's married to a great woman that he met on coffee meets bagel so there is hope maybe i have to get back on coffee meets bagel maybe well also let me ask you this though i mean your podcast your very successful podcast is called why won't you date me is there ever like conflicting interest of like you almost maybe subconsciously don't want to meet someone because or else what the hell are you going to talk about on your podcast i mean huh no one has ever phrased it like that people are always like what are you going to talk about on your podcast? I mean, huh. No one has ever phrased it like that. People are always like, what are you going to do when you meet someone?

I'm like, I'll keep going. But yeah, maybe there is something in my subconscious that's like, I have to remain single in order to keep my income. Yeah. Well, it's like, hey, fuck it. You know, like if this doesn't work out, at least, you know, I can make some money on this podcast. I don't know.

There's some subconscious self-sabotaging of your relationship for the good of the podcast. I am my own inner saboteur. Maybe. Who knows? That's something I'd have to actually really think about. Yeah, right? Maybe I'm looking too deep into it, but maybe is it because I do believe in like the secret and like manifesting and visualizing. Right.

So so if like the fact that the podcast, it's you looking forward to talk about why won't anyone date you instead of like if the podcast was named, why do I have such an amazing boyfriend? Then maybe that's your, you know, your manifestation. Oh, my God. Maybe I changed the name of the podcast right here to right now. Like I have an amazing boyfriend. I'm in a secure relationship. We're both emotionally available and everything's good. And you're like, that is too long.

How do we abbreviate that? Then you're manifesting it. You change it to best relationship ever. That's the name of the pack i don't know this is all it could i sound very woo woo or whatever right now but i uh you know i believe in some of that stuff oh i love that maybe i gotta start like manifesting shit real quick we gotta take a break and oh we're back how did you meet your girlfriend?

I met her at the Hollywood Improv. Okay. She's doing stand-up. That's why I prefer meeting people in person because I do go out and see a lot of people when I'm doing stand-up. Whether it's my friends at the Improv, people that work at the comedy clubs venues or you know audience members even um so i was just uh before my set i i was at the bar and i was like oh this girl is really pretty let me say hi and she introduced herself and then i was like man i really want to talk to her i have to go do a set right now but i really want to go talk to her after the show so usually

you know you hang out the improv at the, kind of chill until the audience comes out. But I had another set that night, so I couldn't really hang out at all. But then I found her on Instagram. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to use the good old DM here, you know, slide into her DM. And then guess what? I tried to slide into her DM, and I realized she had DM'd me six months ago, and I never replied back off some, like, business stuff some like real like business stuff, like not flirting or whatever.

I was like, oh, this is a good sign. So, you know, we found out we live very close to each other. So we just got dinner a couple of nights later and then we've been hanging out since. Wow. That's like some real fucking the universe like bringing y'all together yeah i always tease her i'm like yeah you know you were kind of hitting on me too i know it was like a business dm but you want to talk to me too she's like no no come on it was a very business dm i fucking love that she's like all about business and you're like

hey go out with me and she's like oh fine can we get business done yeah you know what it is um her she's very pretty and very hot and but like you know on her instagram her profile pic on her instagram it's like very like normal and not like booty pics and stuff you know what i mean which is for stupid ass jimmy it's probably why i never replied back to the first DM. Because her profile pic, the little, you know, one-inch dot that you see, like, I couldn't see much. Like, it was just like a selfie that definitely doesn't show how beautiful she is. And, you know, but I'm glad that it worked out that way. So I actually get to see her in person first.

And then get to know her. And then blah, blah, you know. Yeah, I think there is a danger to like looking at someone's social media and getting this idea of somebody in your head. And then you meet them. You're like, huh, this doesn't fucking match. Yeah, that. And also if somebody's Instagram is too hot because then, you know, they got guys or girls. They got 100 people DMing them. It's like the fact of being on Tinder.

You know, they have too many options and they put in this shit out there a little too much. Yeah. You know, like they're a little thirsty. And that's probably a bad look. And I'm glad that was not the case. And, you know, for my girlfriend. So in Love Hard, you play a catfish. Have you ever been catfished?

I have never been catfished, no. I'm pretty, you know, I'm pretty realistic. I feel like people that really get catfished, it's like they have like kind of a dream scenario and they don't want to burst their own bubble, you know, by not bursting the other person's bubble. So when people say, I can't FaceTime, whatever, they kind of go along with it and give themselves excuses, you know. Whereas for me, I'm like, do you want to FaceTime?

Do you want to go on a date? Like, I'm pretty straightforward, you know. If you wishy-washy, even if you're not a catfish, I'm like, okay, you're just wasting my time. So no, luckily I have not. Yeah, I like okay you're just wasting my time so no uh luckily i have not yeah i feel like you're right people who get catfished because you know you watch the show and they're like i was talking to post malone for a year and turns out one post malone it's like okay that's you really not being realistic or truthful with yourself yeah they just want to believe that you know they're cool that's all and sometimes that's more important than realism is your perception of yourself.

So, you know, I don't blame them, I guess. Yeah. I mean, there's something to, you know, believing in yourself so much that you can manifest something wild happening. But then also I like to live in reality and I'm like, this person, you're not real. Yeah. happening but then also i like to live in reality and i'm like this person you're not real yeah also if you're bragging about dating post malone um i think you're still short on a couple therapy sessions i genuinely love post malone oh he's great but sometimes i'm worried about him yeah yeah that too and also what are we like like 16-year-old schoolgirls that want to date the rapper on the poster?

Uh-huh. You know, I mean, come on. Like, there's many. Just because they're famous or rich doesn't mean they're good people. Or I don't know. He could be a great guy. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying.

Yeah, you don't know what people are like until you know them. Exactly. I watched, I think, a first date happened at applebee's the other day so i went to applebee's with my friends because they had cheetos crusted like wings and like cheetos crusted like i don't know it was like gooey cheese i don't know it was wild i drink that sounds good yeah i drink a mountain dew berry blast i almost passed away it was a lovely time. And I was watching this first date happen, and it was so cute.

We were outside. They were inside. But they were, like, laughing. And she was, like, doing silly faces to him. And I was like, boy, watching people in love is adorable or fall in love is adorable. Yeah, yeah. I saw that. I was on the road doing a show in Connecticut, out of all things and um you know i just went to a restaurant after the show and there's a couple

like you know they across the table but they holding hands like up up and down like that like like i'm like oh this is first within the first three days they might not have even fucked yet you know but it was very sweet to see that that is so sweet but also i'm like when do you break the hand holding when you're sitting at a table to be like uh i'm thirsty or i'm trying to eat this shit yeah see i'm i'm very even like like my girl we haven't been going on for all that long but i'm very you know realistic with her like this is who i am you know like i'm gonna tell you okay like let's not hold hands my hands getting sweaty like i'm just i let her this is good so you don't find

out later you know like i'm very free with my farts i'll just fart you know and i sundays i need to watch football and play fantasy football with my buddies like that's just gotta just gotta throw that out there i'm not trying to play some kind of charade and be somebody i'm not you know i like that i also try very hard to be as real as possible because it's like you're only going to find out later that i'm very annoying about this particular thing or whatever yeah i like ice cream a lot and i went on a date with this guy and I was like do you do you like ice cream he said yeah and we went to milk bar and he was like you should get or what did he say I think he was like don't get the ice cream and I was like I'm gonna get the ice cream and then it was terrible ice cream and he paid for it and then I was eating it and then he just looked at me was like you can throw it

away and then I threw it away that's very nice it was very very very nice because i was like he paid for it so i better just eat this but it was so depressing because everything else at milk bar is so good and then we went back to my house and i was like i have ice cream from uh so okay my favorite ice cream place is called the social it's in brooklyn and they will ship it to you via gold belly no they do not pay me but i just want everyone to experience this ice cream so i i got ooier gooier and i was like you have to taste this and he was like i like jenny's better all i want is to go on a date with someone where i got to like just taste test a bunch of ice cream and if we like the same ice cream uh we i win and you date me forever that's awesome

that that's that's really nice do you ever like ask your friends like hey you guys can you guys hook me up with someone or something or whatever i am constantly asking people jimmy do you have someone who's single in your life who needs to be set up i i might yeah i might let me think about this maybe there's a couple dudes on my fantasy football league. Okay. All right. What is fantasy football? Wait, you don't. Is this a serious question? Like, I get it.

I get it. Like, you don't play fantasy football, but do you know what it is or no? So I feel like you pick a team of any old person you want, and then I don't know what happens after that. Oh, we have a draft in the beginning of the year. You pick individuals from a team. Okay. Christian McCaffrey from the Panthers, Russell Wilson from the Seahawks,

Tom Brady, whatever, right? And then you create your own team with a quarterback, two running backs, a couple receivers, whatever, right? So that's your team. And it's composed of people from different teams in the NFL. So each week, based on their statistics, how many touchdowns they get, how many yards they get, whatever, this and that, you're given a point. And whoever scores the highest point wins that week.

And it's like a league. Who runs the statistics? An app, like an automatic thing. So we play it on Yahoo Fantasy Football. There's ESPN. There's whatever. Like there's like a million of them, you know. Okay.

The reason why I ask is I might date a boy who's into fantasy football. And I can't wait to be like, I know all about that. Who'd you pick from the draft? You will date a dude that's into fantasy football and I can't wait to be like, I know all about that. Who'd you pick from the draft? You will date a dude that's into fantasy football. And it's good, you know, it's good to have a basic understanding

of fantasy football, but don't, you don't, I don't, I feel like you don't have to be like, oh man, you know, get really into it

because if my girlfriend's like really into it, that might actually turn me off. I like that she supports it. She's like like this is your thing sundays i'm gonna leave you alone you go do your thing and i'm so into it and i like her so much sometimes i still ask her about players just just because i'm babbling like she has no idea what that like it sound like a madman you know i mean but um yeah i i don't think it's i think sometimes you'll try too hard and it's like, oh, let me get in your fan.

It's like, no, no, no, no. Guys just need to be left alone at certain times. Ooh, that's also good advice because I love bothering people. Don't you want to hear my voice? Hi, hello, do you want to see me? So, okay, this is good advice. Take a step back,

have a basic understanding of interests but i don't have to make those interests my own interests no you you know what what's something my girlfriend does that i i like a lot is um say i'm hanging out with bros for my fantasy football league right she would like say we go out on like a double date with one of those bros and like you know his girl she would actually if she likes person, would make an effort to hang out with the girl, you know. So they can go on a girl date while I watch football or like whatever. So that I found very endearing. Interesting.

I've never thought of that. I never thought that was a thing. I never thought that was something I wanted in someone or whatever. But that was very nice. But that is nice to be like, oh, we can like go on double dates or like I'll hang out with his girlfriend and you guys do whatever you want to do. That is nice. I like that. Wow, your girlfriend's thoughtful and nice.

Maybe I should date her. Jimmy, tell me, how did you get into comedy? I think I was just bored. And I graduated with an economics degree from UCSD. I never really partied in college, whatever. And I don't know. I was hanging out with the same group of friends from high school, which I love them. But it's like, man, I need to do something, not sit behind a desk doing finance all my life.

So it was a little boredom, a little desperation. Wait, were you in finance? all my life. So it was a little boredom, a little desperation. Wait, were you in finance? I interned at Smith Barney, which is like basically Morgan Stanley,

one of those financial institutions. I hated it. Not that it's the company's fault. I just didn't like that job. It wasn't for you. No. And so really it wasn't about money. It wasn't like,

I watched Eddie Murphy Raw with my brother 10 times and I promised him on his deathbed I was going to do comedy. It wasn't nothing like that. It was just like, I really, really, I was hungry for community. Some growth, some new friends. And I remember the first couple of open mics I did at the Ha Ha Comedy Club in North Hollywood. I was like, man, okay. Like, I'm just doing open mics.

It's shitty. I have to pay to get on stage. Like, it's like that. But it was nice. I was like, man, this is an outlet. Like, this is a hangout. I'm seeing the local open micers were giving each other the tags. You know, I see an avalanche to make new friends and possibly even meet girls, you know.

So that was what sucked me in and i started hanging out at those comedy clubs every night because i didn't have nothing better to do i mean there's worse places you could hang out did you ever get chuckle fuckers like girls who were like oh my god you're so funny you're so funny do you want to like come back to my house to he make my pussy giggle uh maybe not that obvious but yeah sure i think i think every comic uh has experienced that that's one of the benefits of doing stand-up right like to some degree and uh yeah it took it took me a few years to like get funny and then and then that was one of the main things i was like what 22 i wasn't getting laid so that was definitely like suddenly you

become the guy that was invisible in high school never partied in college to the guy that everyone is paying attention to all 150 people is paying attention to every night so yeah it's got to be you get more like some girls got to be down you know at some point so yeah i would say a lot of my uh um uh girls i've dated or early on even you know girls i've hung out with whatever were probably from stand-up you know uh or stand-up adjacent because i mean aside from stand-up i don't leave the house. There's nothing else I do. So, you know, I watch football with my buddies. I eat with my friends.

And then I do stand-up. So that's really the only place I meet people. Yeah, I mean, same. It's like I work. I do stand-up. And then I go out to eat with friends. And I was like, ooh, let me get a hobby i need a hobby i think and then i started pole dancing and i was like that's a pretty pretty self-contained

hobby yes yes not gonna meet people that way you need a group hobby yeah do you have a new hobby now i don't have a new hobby well it was roller skating but i like fucked up my ankle at the end of 2020 and i'm still like a little afraid of being on wheels but i was like maybe i do pottery or something i don't fucking know pottery yeah but that's still you and the pottery thing you're right i don't know uh i used to bowl every tuesday before the pandemic i had a little bowling not league just like a hangout so it's me and a director friend of mine and then he'll invite his friend so sometimes it'll be five of us sometimes it's like 20 of us you know and it just became a great social thing because it got to a point where like me being at a stand-up comedy club was like getting unhealthy i was drinking too much i was there too much i was you know there's a darkness to a lot of this comedy

stuff so the bowling stuff was such a great outlet and i was like okay even because a lot of this comedy stuff so the bowling stuff was such a great outlet and i was like okay even because a lot of times whatever however old you are whatever stage your career you feel a little stuck especially in la you know because everything's so sparsed out people don't just meet people you walk down the street there's nobody you know so that bowling thing at least every week gave me some hope of like social life and maybe like meeting people yeah i think i gotta figure out what that is for me now that like we're getting our boosters and people are out and about are you touring again uh i was doing some college shows but i think i'm gonna wait till next year to do like a full-on like public tour yeah i

was doing shows at the end of the year but then i booked something and then that fell through but then i was like let's just keep keep them canceled uh let's just try again next year this year was so weird i feel like coming out of the pandemic during the pandemic we're like all we want to do is get out and be normal but then we got so used to being at home and i'm so comfortable at home now you really need to beg me to go i don't i don't want to go anywhere yeah i like made my house the way i like it i put up a bunch of wallpaper and shit got some rugs and i was like oh i love it here i don't want to go i love it see like little house projects i i've been like i'm gardening

a little bit i'm cooking a lot this and that and and you know like like uh just work at the house like it's it's never done you know even if it's like a little paint or whatever so i'm having a lot of fun and now and now i have a girlfriend like what am i now it's like why go out everything i like is right here but but that's the problem right then i become a shitty boyfriend who doesn't want to go out so i i gotta i gotta i gotta make an effort still. You know, I think single guys or girls go out to meet single girls, right? But then that's when you were fun. And then that's when girls want to go out with you. And then when you're in a relationship, you actually don't want to go out anymore, you know?

I want to. I'm tired of going out. I just want to stay home. I'm telling you, it's the name of this podcast, Nicole. Like, this podcast is called Why Won't You Date Me? That's negative self-talk. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, it should change it to why does everyone want to date me?

You know? Or like. Why does everyone want to date me? And then I come on. I'm like. You need a pivot. Okay. I mean, I've been doing it for almost four years.

Maybe it is time for some rebranding. It's a new day for me. That's what I'm saying. Real quick, we have to take another break. And we're back. So when you started doing stand-up, did you think this would segue into acting or did you fall into acting? No, I just heard anecdotes from friends. They're like, yo, I was at this Vodka commercial.

I was in the background. And then they bumped me into like a feature guy. I was just a security guard in this commercial and I got $60,000 worth of residuals. I was like damn that's a game I want to be in you know so

I just I was hoping to get some commercial representation or whatever and just go to those cattle calls and maybe book one commercial

every other year so I can pay some rent you know and and then I found an agent that you know would send me out

to like little guest star roles. Like, you know, Modern Family, Two Broke Girls. I felt very fortunate. But at the same time, I was like, man, I'm not prepared. I wasn't ready to act, you know. Like, even though, you know, being on stage, doing stand-up, I think kind of helps a lot. But I don't know how to audition. I don't know what, when they say like slate your name, like what slate?

Why did they have to say that? Like all these like little rules and stuff. So I just, I used all my money that I had, even just 50 bucks from a show at Bakersfield, whatever, right? All that money. Like my rent was like 450, but I spent like 500500 a month taking acting classes, you know, and figuring it out, reading books, this and that. And of course, that just teaches you the basics. You still need to practice it.

So for me, being on Silicon Valley, I was very grateful. That's working with the best improvisers, working with Mike Judge, Alec Berg, and everyone else. That was like going to college for me, you know, when it comes to acting. I feel like with acting, people have aspirations and they really want it. And I'm like, yeah, but like, you can't really prepare yourself to what it's like to be on a set, especially if you're on a set with people who've been doing it for a long time. You kind of just everything like you can prepare, like you're gonna learn so much and then what i've learned is like the audition is a different skill than

the table read which is a different skill than actually working yeah and also i feel like acting classes they teach you a lot of tools you know uh stella adler stuff uh udahagan whatever all the stanilovsky stuff. It's all great tools. But I would say most things I've done didn't require any of it. I'm not method acting. You know what I mean? Some did.

Some absolutely did and I needed to like have real acting, you know. But a lot of it is just you go there and say a line. Like hit your mark and say a,

just fucking do it. Like literally, right? Like it's right like it's it's not it's not Meisner right now just

you're you're playing person in line at a grocery store say the fucking line say the line so we can all go home yeah a lot of acting classes I wish

like I I joke about this I'm like I'm gonna teach an acting class that's just practical acting talking about eye lines yes

blocking yes you know uh saying a line oh when is it good to improvise when is it not because one of the one of the things that people do oh they said oh it's an improv set i can improvise they don't know what the fuck that means and then they were like hey instead of like say like hey uh tomorrow we're going to a library they're like tomorrow we're going to the gym it's like motherfucker there's locations we book you can't just say gym because you want it to it's got to make sense

and also you can't improvise off camera on the other guy's coverage that's crazy and people don't get that right because they don't teach you an acting class so I think practical acting is very important. What does a turnaround mean?

What's coverage? Your coverage behind your back, you still got to give it to the other person. How do you help? Don't step on the other person's line when it's their coverage. That kind of stuff. It's important. It is important. And that's truly all stuff you learn on a set.

But I do think a practical acting class would be so helpful for so many people. Because I've done scenes where I would improvise something when it was my coverage. And then when it flipped, they were like, Oh, can you just say the same thing again? I'm like, it doesn't matter. The reaction is the same, whether it's the scripted line or the improvised line we're just wasting time so just i'll just say it you do it that's right that's right um oh and baby when people don't know their lines yeah well i mean we we've all been there you know i try to not you know but it's uh yeah yeah yeah you know um i would say like even most directors i've worked with, I've worked with some great directors. Peter Berg, Mike Judge, Alec Berg, Ken Kwapis, who directed the second season of Space Force. Many, many, John Hamburg, who I just worked with, and for Love Heart, Hernan Jimenez.

These guys are great. They're actors, directors. They know how to talk to actors on the stuff you learn give you an objective goal like really break it down blah blah whatever but there's so many directors that just they just care about the camera coverage yes like hey say this line to this person and then turn your head and say it out the window on this I'm like ah come on you know but then as actor, you learn to translate that yourself. Okay.

I need to give myself a motivation to walk over there, not just walk over there. I would say Ken Kwapis was absolutely one of my favorites. He did the pilot for The Office. And he wrote this book, which is my favorite book. It's called What You Really Want to Do is Direct, if anybody want to get it. It's Ken Kwapis. And it helps you with directing. It's fun anecdotes about how he set up the bullpen, about the relationships of the people at the office or if you're an office fan.

And also, if you're just an actor, how to be professional on set, like how he kind of shows you like how it is on set. Like it's very cool. I love that book and we got to work with him on season two of uh space force which haven't came out yet but that was a very nice refreshing experience that is exciting because i just started watching the office in the year of 2021 um i don't know why i had never seen it before but i started watching it and i was like this is so funny and then it's great i like read somewhere that people thought michael scott was too mean in the first season so they softened him up in the second and subsequent seasons and i was like oh

but i liked him like that i thought it was so funny uh yeah i just watched the i think it's the valentine's day episode with bob vance vance refrigeration that joke made me laugh so hard and it's so simple do you watch the office yeah yeah which joke was that this was um it's not even a joke it's just um phyllis's boyfriend's name is bob vance and when he introduces himself he goes bob vance vance refrigeration and then she gets a bunch of flowers delivered to her from bob vance vance refrigeration and it was just like this is such a dumb thing that i love also i'm like will pam ever break up with her fiance i feel like she will because her and jim they just really seem so wonderful and then i was like oh my god mindy canley and BJ Novak. Is it art imitating life or life imitating art?

Because I feel like in her life, she's like, I love BJ. BJ's like, we're not dating. And I'm like, well, this is so what? It's been a real journey for me. How far are you? Like season two-ish? I'm in the middle of season two. Oh, that's great.

That's great. I'm very excited for you. Thank you. I think it's so, I just watched... Well, the Valentine's Day one and then the one after was... I think it was like Bring Your Kids to Work Day. Oh, that one was very funny. Oh, and the Christmas episode.

Oh, that's a good one. You will love this Ken Kuapas book. It's so cool. How they set up the pilot. I wrote it down. I think I'm going to get it. Because I am interested in directing. Directing is a very same yeah interesting uh thing i shadowed uh payne and ben's a little bit on uh my show he's great he's wonderful and then our yeah dp is this guy named

rick page and i was like maybe i'll talk to rick for a little bit and that was so it like i just i learned so much about like how you set up a shot like in TV where it's like, well, we've seen this side a bunch in a bunch of episodes. Let's flip it and see something else to make it like to keep it interesting for the viewer. And I was like, oh, shit, I never thought of it like that. But I was like, yeah, we're creatures of habit. But also we like to see different aspects of, you know, the set or like like a character, like when they do something unexpected, you you're like, Oh, what's gonna happen next? Yeah, it's just really interesting. The whole. Yeah, I think actors all make great directors. They know how to talk to actors, first of all, and they know how to tell a story. They're not just directing coverage and camera, you know what

I mean? Which is what a lot of TV directing devolves to. They just trying to make the day and cover it, you know. But yeah, I think all the good directors are great storytellers that knows, okay, you walk over there and hit this mark not because I told you so, not because it looks better for the camera, but because you want to be close to this person and beg for them to stay or something. There's a reason and an objective and a story behind every move you know in a way did you see zola i haven't i really liked it i cannot pronounce i think her name's janza or janza bravo i believe that's her name she okay really told a story that i was like

my god i like i get everything you're trying to convey to me. Like, I loved it so fucking much. Do you think you're going to direct? I would love to. I would love to. I think every set I'm on, you know, if they let me, you know, I'm always at Village. Always, you know, even Space Force because I wrote an episode this year. So I had a great time hanging out with Village. Even when Video video village for

people I don't know it's like where the directors producers sit everyone you know to to yeah to watch watch monitors all happening so like me pitching jokes stuff like that even in scenes I'm not in and like just kind of you know uh uh thinking about ideas things like that I I loved it so much so um for sure I think every acting job i get is also learning experience for maybe a future directing job you sound like a real student of the world are you in therapy because you sound like you're like very secure with yourself i love this yes i have done many years of therapy um currently no i uh i see i call my therapist whenever on a needed basis. But, yeah, I think that's – I don't know why so many actors are so crazy because I think we could be.

Because I think they allow us to be a touch with yourself and know what's going on in human nature, you know, in order to convey the story of human experiences. So I don't know. I think it's our job to know ourselves and, you know, be somewhat well adjusted. Yeah. It is part of the job. Honestly, you've said a lot of gems that I'm like, you know, Jimmy's right. We did forever ago. This image is like imprinted in my mind. We did this like corporate gig over Zoom and you were doing like a staycation at this hotel and you were so backlit and you're like, that's just how it is.

And you also had a beer and I was like, he's having a nice time. I like went and got a cocktail and I was like,'m gonna have a nice time too yeah exactly i mean they hire us to be entertaining right especially like a corporate job because they can't drink and whatever so it's like it's our job to be kind of a mess uh-huh like you know sure i could fix my lighting sure i don't have to drink. But it's like, I get it. This is why they hire us, you know? So it's like, why not? Well, I like went and got a drink and I was like, I'm gonna have a nice time too. And I was like, I think Jimmy's onto something.

That was so fun. I'm not gonna name the company, but it was me, you, Roy Wood Jr. Cristela. Yeah, Cristela. It was like a game show on Zoom or something. I miss those days. Now, like corporate shows of colleges, they're like, can you come in person? I was like, game show on zoom or something i i miss those days now like corporate shows of colleges they're like can you come in person i was like i'll take half the money

can we just do it on zoom i mean i'm right there with you i'm like oh you want me to like fly out to to ask a couple questions and answer questions yeah let's do it on zoom truly pay me half i'll get out of my bed i'll put on a wig we'll have a nice time yeah and honestly Yeah. And honestly, Zoom was really cool that, because, you know, I do college, so I just go do an hour of stand-up, you know, and it's not super interactive. Sure, I might do some crowd work or whatever, but even on Zoom, because I refuse to do stand-up on Zoom. So on the Zoom shows I did, it was always Q&A. And a lot of times, especially if it's like students, they actually get a lot out of it.

They felt like they really interacted and got some advice advice or whatever you know yeah I agree I uh I think if I continue to do college shows I'll probably try to incorporate more of a Q&A vibe uh because the last time I did an hour I was like oh my references for these children are so dated I was like who knows what hocus pocus is and they were like no you mean just the saying hocus i'm like the movie it's just i'm like oh fuck i'm getting too old for this shit i know references and um i was just actually talking to uh my buddy and my girlfriend about this yesterday there were just so many like okay i finally learned what bitcoin was right and then i learned what nft was right but now they got like

this thing called gas and now they got this thing called uh uh uh dow or whatever the fuck i'm like this is too much it's it's going too fast for me i'm too old i'm i'm i'm becoming the old man where like i'm complaining like every two days they got a new word. You know, I tried. I tried, but it's a no. I truly feel you on that. Well, Jimmy, thank you so much for doing this. We've come to the end. Do you have anything that you want to promote?

Well, Love Hard is still on Netflix. It's a holiday movie. It's a very beautiful rom-com with me, Nina Dobrev, Darren Barnett, Harry Shum Jr. It's a great film. We were number one in the whole world in 60 countries for 10 days, 7 days, something like that until The Rock and Red Notice overtook us, which I ain't even mad about. Okay? But it's so great to hear all the fans. Thank you for all the fans that's watched it worldwide. I'm getting messages from people from Argentina, Guatemala, Philippines, Singapore, Czech Republic, whatever.

Just seems like a very beautiful, nice, universal story that everybody can enjoy. So if you watched it already, watch it again on Thanksgiving. Watch it again on Christmas. And if you haven't, check it out, Love Heart on Netflix. I love that. Jimmy, thank you so much. If you like this episode of, oh,

why won't you date me? You can like it, rate it, subscribe on Apple Podcasts. If you write me something dirty, you can send it to the email, whywon'tyoudatemepodcasts at gmail.com.

I will read it aloud. This nice person said, oh my God, I just want to open your legs and motorboat your cod canal until you're as wet as the seven seas and we sail away in ecstasy i cannot believe someone called my vagina a cod canal well wow you know we're here for a short time not a long time let's have fun thank you for that. Okay.

Bye-bye. That's it for Why Won't You Date Me with me, Nicole Byer. Why Won't You Date Me is produced and engineered by, oh, the sweetest woman I know, Marissa Melnick. It is executive produced by other wonderful people, Adam Sachs, Joanna Solo-Taroff, and Jeff Ross. Thanks for listening. I love you. Thank you so much. We'll be seeing you next Friday with a brand new episode. What a dream. What a dream. This has been a team coco production