Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Boyfriendless Forever (w/ Marcella Arguello)

Episode Date: August 3, 2018

Marcella Arguello (stand up, @midnight) joins Nicole to share their love for sucking dick, her worry for being fetishized as a tall woman, and gives Nicole great advice for her Tinder profile.You can play along and see Nicole's Tinder bio and photos on her Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/NicoleByerComedyBe sure to rate Why Won't You Date Me 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Leave a dirty comment for a chance have it read on-air.Follow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedy

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Ooh, baby, yeah! Welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? A podcast where I try to figure out why I'm still single, even though I'll suck your dick every night with no problem and no complaints.

Today's guest, you've seen her do stand-up all around L.A. She's been on At Midnight a bunch of times. She wrote on Drop the Mic, yes? Ooh, baby, Marcella Aguay. Aguay. Oh, fuck. You fucked it up. I did, and I asked you how to pronounce it.

That's why I said don't worry about it. Before we started. You know what's funny? No, Aguayo. Aguayo. Thank you. Aguayo. What's funny, too, is when people intro me at comedy shows,

and they obsess over it too much, what ends up happening is they fuck up my first name. Ah, what do they call you? They'll be like, Maricella. I mean, Marissa. But they nailed my last name. They nailed it, if you will. They nailed it.

Marcella is, if you haven't seen her live, a real treat. There's one show in particular that I'm thinking of where you did like a full on act out. I was laughing so hard. What did I do? What was the act out? I can't remember but the audience was like not there for it. And then after you were

done you were like that was a lot of work on my behalf. You guys didn't even come halfway. Yeah, I hate that i hate what you guys but that's la yeah in la it's like you you do a lot and they're like what else you got and it's insane because you're like you guys are they're just so there's so much comedy here even people who are are not regulars of comedy are still inundated with so much comedy yeah and I feel like LA is a lot of, well, what are you gonna do to impress me? Right. Alright,

I see that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, what's next? What's next? Yeah. Are you single? Yeah, I would stay single, bitch. Also, I don't believe that you would suck a dick's dick. A dick's dick. A dick's dick. A dude's dick every night without complaining.

I don't believe that. At this point in my life, I would. Okay. For maybe a solid six to eight months before I'd be like... The honeymoon period. I mean, every night you need this? Why?

I love sucking a dick. I also like sucking dick. Yeah yeah i think it's fun and i think i'm powerful when i'm doing it because you are i can stop at any moment but you could also chomp down on any moment yeah i could bite your fucking dick off yeah i've seen you eat you're aggressive i am a very aggressive eater a very aggressive dick sucker I hope they put that

on my headstone oh wow or my tombstone headstone whatever it's the same thing my graveyard plot stone there it is

aggressive eater aggressive dick sucker yeah it's passion baby how long have you been single I technically have always been single I've technically

never had a boyfriend me either yeah I've never had a boyfriend. Me either. Yeah, I've never had a boyfriend. And is this by choice? No. No. Same. Yeah, it's not fun. I mean, it's, you know, when you're,

when you look a certain way and you act a certain way, and it's two things, right? Because men, they visually, they're attracted to one thing and then they get to know you and you're like, well, I don't want that. Or it's the other way around.

We're like, well, I really like your brain but you don't have a butt so why would I fuck you? And I'm like, well, this is just a nightmare. Well, this is awful. Yeah.

I like your personality. Thank you. I like yours. Thank you. And I've decided this year I'm going to make you my good friend. That's great. Because we know each other not super, super well.

No, super well. But you run this awesome show in L.A. called Women Crush Wednesdays. It's at the Hollywood Improv in the Lab, which is the, not the main room, the side room. But it's a good room, especially when it's packed. And you get a good crowd there. a good room especially when it's packed and you get a good crowd there and you just tweeted or instagrammed women of color right submit a tape well specifically i say black and brown people which uh apparently quote unquote yellow women had a problem with i got realize i would never refer to an asian woman as yellow yeah i mean i know asian women refer and men refer to themselves

as that and i'm like i get it that's like refer, and men refer to themselves as that. And I'm like, I get it. That's like when a black person refers to themselves as N-word, right? I'm not equating it, but it's that concept. Kind of. Right? Because the term is really,

it comes from a derogatory place. Yes. And I even like researched the history because I'm like, I feel like I'm not wrong for not using the word yellow, but like these women were attacking me. I was like, bitch,

just fucking submit to my show. It's very confusing. It can be very confusing anyhow you were like begging people of color to submit to your show and then people of color were like but you didn't ask us right and it's like it is so hard to get invited to the table dude you were invited to the table just fucking show up i had another woman messaged me table. Dude. When you're invited to the table, just fucking show up. I had another woman message me on Facebook and said, if you're still looking for women, let me know and I'll send you a clip. What? Just send it.

Just send the fucking clip. Are you insane? Really wild to me. Because I exploit the fact that you have a show just solely for women. I'm always like, let me do it. Let me do two minutes. But that's'm always like, let me do it. Let me do two minutes. But that's what I want. Let me do it.

Dude, my favorite thing was when you were like, the first time you did the show, you fucking crushed. Like, of course you did. So much fun. But then it was funny,

the first thing you said when you got off stage was like, I forgot to do the pedophile joke. And I go, well, I was like, you can go back on stage.

I don't give a fuck. And I was like, come back whenever you want. And you like, when Sashir was doing it. The next week? No, it wasn't the next week. It was like a month later go back on stage. I don't give a fuck. And I was like, come back whenever you want. And you like, when Sashir was doing it. The next week? No, it wasn't the next week. It was like a month later.

Okay. But Sashir showed up and you showed up with her. I mean, she was on the show and you showed up with her. And I was like, bitch, you want to do the joke? You want two minutes? And you went up there for whatever, two, three, whatever it is. A three minute bit. And you just did the one joke and it was my favorite pop in ever.

It was the best drop in. You came in to do the pedophile joke which i fucking love thank you i'll tell you something when it doesn't go well boy the silence is deafening oh yeah i bet just the first time i did it i threw so she told me on vacation to do this joke and i was like you think she's like i think it's thank god that's why you need friends like that, because it's right. It's so funny. So good. And the first time I did it,

this woman literally went, no. And I was like, oh, no. And then I just went, Sashir told me, my friend Sashir. Sashir's a maid who told me to do this joke. Wow, you're a snitch. I didn't take you for a snitch, but here we are.

Under the bus. That's hilarious. And then was talking to her about it again, and I was like, is this one of these things where, like, you think it's funny because you know me? And she goes, no, I genuinely think it's a funny concept. She was right. And I was like,

okay. So then I, like, beat it out with her, was sending her texts, like, back and forth, being like, here's a punchline, here's a punchline. And then on your show, I was like, alright, let me do, and I figured out how to make the joke work just by telling people that nobody likes it. Right. And then that allows it like frees people

to be like oh but it's funny right it's also like it's not that bad no it's not that bad but it's actually like even if you didn't

set it up that way I think it's fucking hysterical I love watching it I love that it like what was cool was watching it grow on my show because I was like

super encouraging of you to do that set on my show and then you brought it back like I don't't know, maybe a month or two later. Because Nicole Byer is a frequent Women Crush Wednesdays performer. It's one of my favorite shows in LA. It's an all women show. For anybody who doesn't know, it's an all women show.

It's 10 bucks every Wednesday. No drink minimum. Please come. $7.45. Yeah, we start around 8 usually. But we try to encourage people to get there as early as possible. In case, because what was cool was you needed to run because you just congrats got a netflix special yes and you hit me up and we're like yeah please have a long set which i don't you're actually the first one you're the

first person to do um the shortest set you've had the shortest set at women crush wednesdays and you've had the longest set at women crush wednesdays oh that brings me so much joy so it was cool because that's why that's why I want my show to be. I want women of every background of women to come and like, I gotta run my Conan. I gotta run my new Netflix. I gotta run this. I gotta, like, you know, Taylor did it. Sabrina Jalise did it. Sam J. They all did it before

their Netflix stuff. Maybe not Taylor, but she came before Conan, but that was cool. It's cool to have this and all the women know that it's a supportive room.'s such a supportive room truly if you're a comic in la who's a female identifying person of color queer anything all of it good tape i have so many white women submitting to my i have white men submitting to my show it's fucking crazy that's that's what makes me sad like the reason i posted that was because i did this comedy seminar it was free and um i i made a note to be like women of color and and queer women you need to submit to everything i don't give a fuck if

you don't think you're qualified there are men and women that are white that are submitting to everything everything and um and and then after the show i had this this chick uh jill chrissy she was like oh i'm you know what i'm gonna submit to your show and i was like bitch why haven't you already like you're dating one of my homies like you should know that you can easily submit you might even name drop your homie like whatever it takes whatever you need to do just get up as much as possible and then she sent it to me which was great and i booked her it was fine but then there was another comic who i because i was like booking i think i was booking august and i was going through all my emails and i was

like fuck i'm like really like legit running out of funny black and brown women because that's the other thing i'm not just throwing up bitches no you're you're throwing up very i'm throwing up very shows are stacked it It's well curated. I don't fuck around. It's a good show. I need it to be funny. Because also, like, but if a woman isn't that funny, I'll be like, alright, you can have five. You get an unpaid five minute spot at my hot ass show that always has industry at it.

You're welcome, bitch. But there was a comic who I do think is I don't know her that well at all. Like, I don't... We've met maybe once. But I know her name. I see her name on all the flyers. I know she's, like, in the scene. So I, like, literally search her name in my submissions. And she wasn't there.

But she had signed up for my comedy seminar. So her email was there. So I was like, bitch, send me a fucking clip. I shouldn't have to ask. And she finally sent, she sent it in. She was like, oh, my God, this is the best email. I'm going to frame it. You know, she was very sweet.

But it was like, bitch, she sent it in. She was like, oh my God, this is the best email. I'm going to frame it. Me, me, me. You know, she was very sweet. Yeah. But it was like, bitch, submit. Submit. I mean, when I started doing shows in LA, I was like, well, how do you get booked? So then I just asked a couple people. I think I asked Emily Heller. I was like, do you have bookers in phone? She was like, yeah, here's some good shows.

Yeah. She sent me like five or six or something. So then I just started emailing and then people were like, do you have a clip? And I'm like, I don't have a clip. I have a recording is that okay like and I think people think they're like oh a clip so they want like a visual clip and it's like just ask

ask if they want a recording just ask whatever yeah I feel like black and brown women are like well I don't want to do it until I'm ready and I was like well when are you ever ready? When are you ready? and I've like said this in interviews and stuff but like Tiffany had her catchphrase she ready is a real thing yeah you have to like she has been saying that forever and it's a real thing she's

been ready so when she had that opportunity it was like done it was like of course she's going to become a fucking star for that she was so ready and she was i don't want to speak on her behalf but i think she saw that casting breakdown it was like i'll be the fourth woman i think i want that and then i think her management was like got her in to yeah the audition like you just have to go after what you want yeah exactly it was so funny too at the snl after party that's. I know things and people and events. Anyways, I went to watch her. And I was at the SNL after party. And I looked at her.

And I was just like, I mean, we damn near teared up hugging each other. Because it was just like, holy shit. It's happening. You know? And she goes. And I'm like complimenting her. I'm like, you fucking killed it. I'm so excited.

Like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm doing the whole thing. And she goes, girl, where you next? You know, you need to be ready. She ready. You need to be ready. Because they coming after you. And I was like, bitch, we're not talking about me right now.

I am ready. I'm not worried about me. We're talking about you and this night. But that's what's cool about her, too, is she is also encouraging of other women. You know? And that's hard to find. She's very uplifting. And I feel like a lot of women feel like there's

only room for two of us or one of us at a time to be true it used to be true but anymore you gotta lift people up if you're not lifting people up how do you expect more inclusion to happen right exactly you're like a very strong opinionated person. Do you think that's hindered you in the dating? Oh, absolutely. It's hindered me in everything. Are you fucking kidding me? It's hindered me in everything. It ruined my relationship with my dad.

Really? Yeah, it ruined friendships. It just ruined everything. And it's because I'm like, no, you don't fucking get to tell me how to think. You don't get to tell me how to live. And I don't mean in a way of like, I was never like a rebellious. I was a good kid. I was just a mouthy bitch.

And it was like people couldn't wrap their heads around it, you know, for a long time. But I was a good kid. I'm still a good woman, a good daughter. But, you know, I fucking, I am the way I am when I speak the way I speak. And it makes people uncomfortable, you know. And if you're a good example of someone who, we don't know each other that well, but you're so comfortable in yourself

that what I am and who I am doesn't threaten you. It doesn't hurt your feelings. You don't take it personal. It makes me interested. Right? Because I'm like, ooh, we may disagree on something or whatever, but I'm still very curious to hear your point on something. I couldn't do,

maybe it was Women Crush Wednesday, and I was like, oh, I'm working. You're like, you never have to explain why you can't do something. And I was like, damn. Another person would be like, oh, she's literally telling me how to live my life.

But in that moment, I was like, no, that's right. You are right. I've been trying to not explain why I can't do things and just say no you you should and i feel like men do that oh but women are like i'm so sorry i have to i have this i have that and it's like just say no sorry i can't do it and it's not like the person's gonna be like what are they doing but no the thing is some people do that's the problem and they only do it to women there's nobody mad at nick thune because he canceled last minute you know what i mean like yeah and and and nobody should be mad at you if

you cancel last minute either like yeah it bums you out like i get it it does you're like oh well that's kind of sad you know like i i had um i had jean gray on my show and she's amazing she's a rapper she's funny she's great she killed it but quinta was brun had Jean Grey on my show and she's amazing. She's a rapper. She's funny. She's great. She killed it. But Quinta Brunson was also on that show. And I had booked her. And the day I posted the flyer, she texted me.

She's like, I got she's like, oh, my God, you're gonna be so mad at me. She was like, I can't make the show. And I was like, bitch, go live your life. Go work. She was like, I'm visiting my family. I'm like, good. Go visit your fucking family. Don't come and waste 10 minutes. You know, like, I don't give family. I'm like, good. Go visit your fucking family. Don't come and waste 10 minutes.

You know, like, I don't give a fuck. Go live your life. It sucks for me because it's like, oh, now I'm false advertising. But also, fuck everybody. Whatever. So what? Now you showed up to my show expecting Quinta and you still see a hot lineup? Yeah.

You see some great, amazing women. My bad. 10 bucks. Yeah. That you normally maybe wouldn't see. Yeah. So you're a tall woman. I'm sure people talk about it constantly.

I went to the mall. I have a rule about going out on the weekends. I don't do it. I don't go shopping. I stay in the house. I don't because I get stared at a lot. Really? Yeah, it's really uncomfortable.

And yesterday I was just like, I don't want to be in my house. We don't have AC. So I hit up my girl Kim and we went to have lunch. And we were right around the corner from the Glendale Galleria so I was like fuck it let's just go shopping like it's AC I like to shop let's just go and waste the whole day and that's what we did and it was nice but I was like oh yeah like walking through the food court to sit down because we got like a Cinnabon at some point I was like oh yeah this is why I don't leave the house like it was just whispers and people staring. And the thing is, people speak in other languages, and they think just because you're speaking in another language

doesn't mean I don't know you're talking about me. It's all body language and tone, and I can see your eyeballs. This honestly blows my fucking mind. It's crazy. Because what are you, 6'2"? 6'2". I don't. I'm also very thin, so it makes it look like I'm even taller.

Oh. That's what I've been told. I'm an optical illusion. Huh. I remember first meeting you, clocking that you were tall and then moved on. Yeah, but you're also a big black woman. Yeah. You have your share of bullshit and comments yourself.

Mm-hmm. You know? But, like, I go shopping and I hear, and I don't blame kids. Kids are fine. But I'm less likely to hear if I'm out on the weekends. I had this little girl just be like, that's a big lady. You know what I mean? And I'm like, oh, that's cute to hear it.

But it's also like, shut your kid up. Teach your kids some manners. Yeah, teach your kid that you never have to comment no other person that you see because you don't you don't know you don't know you don't know what that person's going through like you don't need to be fucking crazy yeah you don't turn around you have a fucking blade under your fucking yeah i turned around and i was like and then mom was like i'm so sorry i'm like well i was in new y York and I was getting into a car and I was doing press for Nailed It. So I was with Jacques Torres, my co-host slash head judge. He's amazing. And he's perfect.

And he was wearing his chef jacket. Oh, my gosh. So he was very recognizable. Right, right, right. I had different hair, looked very like, if you weren't, if you didn't know me, you weren't going to clock me. Right, right, right. So he was taking pictures with people. I was smoking a cigarette. He gets in the car. I follow him in the car. And then I heard someone say, yeah, that's her. You know, the host, the big, fat, black one. And I was like, okay.

I know what I look like. But I'm the only person getting in the car with this man. So what was the purpose of saying that? Right, what's the extra? Yeah, you don't need that. And you said it loud enough for me to hear. What did you want me to lean out of the car and be like, it's me, the big fat black one.

Thank you. Thank you for not knowing my name, but truly just describing my physicality. Thank you so much. I didn't know. For half a second, I thought I was a small indian woman thank you for clarifying my black it's so i've had people walk up to me and they go excuse me and i just go six two and i turn around and they're like how did she know because it's like humans are fucking stupid

predictable is what they are i think it's biff from back to the future was getting are you biff so much that he just hands out a business card when people approach him to be like I am let's not talk about it so often like I did a show last night and I was like I'm tall get over it move on take it in I'm not talking about it tonight just get over it I just can't I just can't

I can't address it every fucking set I do yeah and that people want me to I'll still say that someone comes up and they're like, I really wanted you to talk about Hotel Eeyore. I'm like, why?

I have opinions on everything. I guess people can't get past things that they see. I did a corporate event for a shoe company and I was running through my set with Stashir and she said,

they can't possibly want 10 minutes of shoe jokes. They probably want some of your material and I was like okay I get there and these people

were applause breaks for shoe jokes that I had never said out loud didn't workshop was just like I know there's a punchline there

and then for my material they were like huh she was talking about shoes let's talk about shoes more I don't like this were they all white

no it was pretty it was a pretty inclusive group that's weird then but they're extra weird they well i guess it was like their corporate event and they wanted to hear about themselves and you're telling me the pedophile joke didn't work i don't do it on the road i bet you don't i fucking bet you don't i can't really do it on the road i I bet you don't. I fucking bet you don't. I can't really do it on the road. I bet. But it's honestly my favorite joke I've ever written. It's such a good joke, dude. It's so funny.

And I think it's because the reaction I get. So I did it. My agent saw me, because I wanted him to see me do an hour. He had never seen it. He'd only seen snips of what I had sent him. Right, right, right. And he's like, let's see this hour that you want to sell so bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I was like, okay. And then you sold it immediately? I mean, it was pretty fast from him seeing it to. Isn't that a, oh, anyways. It's crazy. Different conversation. Different conversation. Just finish the story.

So he saw it. I did that joke. And he gave me some, like, great notes on the the set and then was like, that joke is so dangerous. Because people were screaming, laughing, audibly going, no, but then enjoying themselves. And when I did it at Women Crush Wednesday the first time, so she said there was a woman in the back running back and forth laughing really hard. Oh, my God. It was so funny.

And I was like, what a treat. Because that's all I ever want to do when i'm on stage is make people feel everything emotion yeah everything that and it and it makes them feel so many things they just start laughing because that's the thing a lot of people do when they don't know how to process a lot of shit they just laugh nervously yeah and i love it it's so powerful truly anyways i can't get dick you can't get dick. You can't get dick. What are we going to do? What's the last... Are you on apps?

No. No? I'm not because... And I don't know how... Are you on? I'm on all of them. Oh, okay. I feel like I should have known that. But anyway, I worry about the fetishism of being tall and being thin and I don't I'm like

I don't want a dude who's like obsessed with tall women and that's his thing I just you know because I don't care I don't have a height preference

I just have like a let's like each other preference so you would date shorter dudes I've dated shorter dudes absolutely yeah I think the shortest I ever dated was 5'7

it's pretty short pretty short that is pretty've ever dated was 5'7". It's pretty short. Pretty short. That is pretty short. Compared to me, 6'2", in heels. Wait, 6'2", in heels? No, 6'2", and then you wear heels.

That's one of my favorite things about you, that you wear heels. It's great. I love it. I love someone who has something that makes them an utter,

other, an otter? An utter. An other, and then they're like, oh, I'll accentuate that. Yeah. Well, you kind of have to. Because it's like,

why do I have to wear sneakers or sandals with a dope-ass outfit? Fuck that. And that's one of my openers. I'm like, I'm already up here, so fuck it. I'm just going to wear these heels. Also, this drink I made is really good. It's delightful. We're drinking

orange LaCroix and some tutos. Yeah, it's really tasty. It's refreshing. I like it. What's the last date you've been on? I mean, it's like been a year and a half. Okay. Since I was the last relationship I was in.

It ended really badly. I was in last relationship I was in. And it ended really badly. I was in love. It was only for two months, too. It was a really sad ending. It was really fucked up. I'll tell you something. People who aren't like serial monogamists, such as myself, I find that if you have something for a month or two,

you're just like, wow, this might last. This might be my forever. And you get invested, I i think and you get excited you do but also was like we got along so well or so i thought i mean you know and i was like oh this is like a he's a good man he gets me he he's honest i'm honest like this is working out like it's just it didn't feel terrible um and then it's just like he was a pathological liar so it just fell apart pretty quickly because i was like oh i fell in love with not him i fell in love with what he wanted to be for me which is like okay well that's the guy i want to actually look for you know um but uh and where did you find him he was a writer i mean he was um how did we meet he just produced a comedy show and it was really i i thought he seemed really cool he seemed cool

online and we'd only interacted a couple times and um i asked i asked out basically every guy i've ever dated and so i asked him out which is like now i'm like maybe i shouldn't anymore because it's really turning into you know what it is men are so used to not just asking but like courting

and like almost like men are used to having to convince women to like them yes that when it's the other way around

it doesn't work it really does not fucking work like I have to convince a man to like me it's not like most men don't like women period sort of like sort of like be like hey i don't know if you're even

attracted to me and i don't even know if you like me but i feel like it would work out like that's why bumble is interesting yes and my would probably be the only one i work would be on but also i'm like i don't i just can. I just can't do it. I'll tell you something about Bumble. Bumble, so it makes it seem like the power is in the woman's hands.

Right. But men just swipe yes a lot of times on everybody. And then they're like, well, who's going to message me? And then they weed them out that way.

So it's just like a second step of being rejected. I have a comic friend who I love and adore him. He's one of, he's, well,

I haven't hung out with him recently, but he is one of my close friends in general that I've known forever. But his strategy on dating apps was saying yes to everyone. And then when a woman would respond or make the first move, he would just be nice to them. And he, and he said, women are so used to them. And he said,

women are so used to getting like filthy, aggressive, rude messages that if I'm just nice, I will get laid. And then on top of that, he is like, knows the Zodiac up and down.

He is women love the Zodiac. So I just know which signs I can actually are easier to fuck and which ones are harder to fuck. So he uses the whole, he, girl, he has it. He's always laid. He always has a bitch. He's always getting laid.

What a way. I just, honestly, it also confirms how I feel a lot of the times where I'm like, if a man's nice to me, I'll follow him to the ends of the earth. Right. feel a lot of the times where I'm like if a man's nice to me I'll follow him to the ends of the earth right and it's true because a lot of times men will say nasty things to me or proposition me like off the bat when I wasn't even being sexual right uh yeah it's but can you imagine all he has to do is be nice and just know a little about your Zodiac sign. And he gets laid. It works 100% of the time. It works 100% of the time.

And I know it would work on me. Yeah. And he said the one sign he never really goes for is Leo's. He's like, those are the hardest ones. And you know what? I'm a Leo. Are you? Yeah, I am.

I'm a Virgo, but I'm an early Virgo. But also, I don't really, I don't buy into signs and stuff. But if there was a man talking to me about signs, I'd be like, well, I feel like he's in touch with women. Right. Women like signs. It's so, it's the best. Dude, he has it broken down so well. It's so smart.

He should write a movie about that shit. He really should. Or like a fucking book. Something. well it's so smart he should write a movie about that shit he really should or like a fucking book something to be like hey gentlemen women are not stupid but like treated so poorly in this world that if you are nice to them they will just come yeah come a crawling like just thankful that you're being nice to them and the thing is he's also i will say he's also handsome he has a good body so that also and he's talented and he's he he's, you know, works all the time. So that also is to his benefit.

Cause like that book might not help some like dumpy ass dude. Yes. And like a bad attitude because he has a positive attitude about it always. Cause he also knows women are disposable. So he'll just get another one. He knows it. He won't, he would never say that,

but he knows it. But he knows it in his heart of hearts. There's another comic who always has like two Instagram models with him at all times. And I'm like, you're probably, and I've spoken to him where I find myself enamored with him by the end of the conversation. Right, right. Because he's nice and he'll ask me about myself. And then I'll, like, see him walk out with his two Instagram models and I'm like, oh, that's how you get women.

That's how you get women to flock to you. Right. Just by being nice and asking them questions about themselves. So that being said, I am not nice. I am not friendly. And it does not help me in the dating, in the flirting world. And it sucks.

I mean, I try to be, I try to put my best foot forward, but also I'm not, I am who I am. Like, I was dating this guy, and we went to the Arclight, and I was like, well, let's not sit in those seats that we bought. This theater's not full. Let's sit wherever we want. He was like, well, no. Oh, God. We bought these seats. And I was like, yes, but there's not full. Let's sit wherever we want. He was like, well, no. Oh God. We bought these seats. And I was like,

yes, but there's nobody here. So truly we can sit wherever we want. If we wanted to, we could talk through the movie. And he's like, talk to the movie. Oh no.

And I was like, yeah, man, we own this place. There's nobody else here. Yeah. It's like we're home. It's like we're home,

but now we have this big theater to ourselves. Ugh. I just, I keep meeting men who just don't want to, like, I need a whimsical man. I need like a Willy Wonka of a man. I think it's not so much about whimsy and whimsicalness and all that. It's more like you just want someone who adapts and is going to just go with the flow and have fun because our lives are so crazy and you know

and so more often than not like if we're on the road and you decide to go to the movies you're alone and you don't get to talk to anybody

and you're like oh if someone was here this would be so much funner but also I'm gonna enjoy myself no matter what right or whatever and then you're in

a situation where like oh my god if this happened on the road this would be like the greatest shit ever right but so you go on the road a lot. I stay busy.

Do you? No. You don't fuck people? You don't fuck chuckle fuckers? No. I have never had a man hit on me after a show. I mean, I have, but they're all older and creepy. Yes.

You know, it's just not the type that I want. I get a lot of, so my demographic of fans are women, gay men, and then boyfriends that are dragged by the women. Right, right, right. And a hundred times

out of a hundred times, the man will go, hey, I didn't know who you were and I was kind of upset to be brought here, but you were actually funny for a girl. And I'm like, gee golly. Right. What a non-compliment.

Right. I was just fucking funny. Right. And then the men who hit on me after shows are like older gentlemen. What about staff? Do you ever fuck staff? No. I have a couple times and that was actually

kind of the move because usually Interesting. the dudes that work at a comedy club are not always dirtbags actually. They can be pretty chill.

Yeah, I guess I'm trying to think. I the men usually stay away from me when I'm on the road. Yeah,

they don't. I mean, why would they? If a man is at my show it's usually because his woman brought him. No, no when I'm on the road. Yeah, they don't. I mean, why would they? If a man is at my show, it's usually because his woman brought him. No, no, I mean like the staff. Like I've never been hit on by a staff person. I mean, I have also never been hit on by the staff, but I definitely fucked a staff member. Yes, you are the person being like, let's do this.

All right, hold on one second because we got to take a break. And we're back! What a dream, what a treat. So, yeah, I just... These apps are... I don't think I could ever do it. You know what's funny? I think last year, maybe, I finally downloaded an app.

I was like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to get an app. I don't remember which one it was. And I saw all my friends, all my guy friends, and I'm just like, nope. I was on for like 10 minutes. I was like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to go now. I don't remember which one it was. And I saw all my friends, all my guy friends. And I'm just like, nope. I was on for like 10 minutes. I was like, nope, I'm deleting this. I can't.

I'm not going to fuck any of my homies. I swipe yes on every friend I know just to see if we match. Nine times out of 10, they're like, just wanted to say hello. And I was like, okay, but why? Why did you swipe on me? Me personally, I was like, I swiped yes to say hello, but then also to be like, maybe? Maybe.

I don't know. Yeah. Maybe. I never thought of you that way. You know, that's the other thing is like, comics dating, I fully support. Like when people are like, you shouldn't date comics. I'm like, no, you shouldn't fuck people

that are pieces of shit. Yes. Period. Anywhere, anywhere in the world. That's a fact. But comics who get married and it works, I wish. It's nice. It's super nice.

Moshe and Natasha. I was just about to say them. They are such a nice couple. Yeah. They fit together. Yeah. They work together. Yeah.

And they have a mutual understanding that I may be busy at this time. You may be busy at this time. We might be busy together. Right. Or separately. But, like, they understand each other's schedules. And, like, what a dream. And they're also, like, at a level where they're both working.

Yeah. So I don't, I mean, I don't know. I haven't spoken to either of them about this. But, like, I feel like there's no competition. Yeahicole can i ask you a question yes please um you started doing stand-up after you did girl code right yes and you did a girl code for like six months or some shit like that right and then they were like every i remember jessimae just being like we've been trying to encourage her to do stand-up yeah and and then they and then they pushed you into it which was cool how old were you when you got girl code I had moved here already

so that's 2012 8 to 9, 9 to 10, 10 to 11, 11 to 12 25 pretty young yeah was dating before that easier no was it worse, harder was dating before that easier?

No. No. Was it worse? Harder? It wasn't. It was easier to get laid. Mm-hmm. I believe that.

I was doing improv and sketch or whatever, so I was still doing comedy, but I was at a theater that was pretty incestuous, where everyone was just fucking each other. Right, right, right. And we would go out to bars after shows. So being at a bar in New York, you can get laid just if you try hard enough. Right, right, right, right.

If you stay late enough, if you talk enough, you'll get laid. Right. And then moving to LA, I realized, oh, this is like just a different town. Yeah, totally. People don't go out as often. Nobody's staying out till four o'clock

in the fucking morning. So moving here was just harder for dating. And then people recognizing me, I sometimes, you meet someone at a bar, you start talking to them. You're like, ooh, baby, this is gonna happen. And then 20 minutes into the conversation, they were just like, yeah, it's just really great to talk to you because I love how you are on on girl code and you're like oh okay yeah well it's nice that you're a fan but i thought we were gonna fuck and then it's like no i just wanted to talk

to you so that's been a little hard and challenging but like i'm grateful that people like me and respond to my stuff right but just say off the bat like don't make me wonder yeah yeah you're like i'm such a fan of yours can we have a can i buy you a drink can we have one conversation over this one drink yeah that's fine and i dated this guy who on our first date five minutes into the conversation was like hey just like just so you know like i know you're a comedian. I've seen your work. I've heard you on podcasts. It felt weird to not say that.

And I said, okay. And then we kept going and he truly didn't ask me anything about work, which was nice because you wouldn't ask an engineer, hey, so how do you do what you do? What is the science facts of engineering? Or whatever. I don't know.

A lawyer. Like, how do you write a disposition? Like, you wouldn't ask them that. So it is very weird when someone's like, can you tell me a joke? It's like, no, I'm not at work. But then, like, the closer we got, the more times we, like, hung out. He would just, like, ask me some questions, but then I didn't mind answering them because we had already gotten to know each other. Right, right, right.

And he was an editor so like like i had questions about editing sometimes and like we both like to watch movies so like we just had like a lot of things in common but like just different different aspects of the entertainment industry but yeah man the apps they're very hard oh i haven't done this in a while want to look at my tinder profile and tell me what you think yes let's do it i don't even i've never been on tinder so i don't even know okay so you just swipe through the pictures tell the people what you see if you'd like to see them along with marcella you can go to facebook.com i think it's Nicole Byer Comedy. That's my fan page or whatever. Nicole, these are all great pictures.

Thank you. Okay, I'm a big old bitch with a fat ass. Hey. I like people with a sense of humor. I'm definitely a thought, she says. Have you updated this? I updated it like a month ago. Or maybe two months ago.

It's been a minute. Okay, you say your last thing you put was, also I'm all about that D and by D I mean dinner. You should say, just kidding, I also mean dick. Because you're trying to get laid, it's Tinder. I know. My friend Molly was like, you should put that so people can infer whatever they want to

infer on that. No. Okay. It's not as funny. Okay, you're right that so people can infer whatever they want to infer on that. No. Okay. It's not as funny. Okay. You're right. And it's not you. You're right. That's not you.

You're right. Did she say that? And then you were like, I'll write it. I did. Yeah. I'm just trying. You're a nasty bitch. I am.

That's really what you should write in here. I'm a nasty bitch. I'm a nasty bitch who loves to fuck. Yeah. But I think I might be at a point where I want to be in a relationship. You should write that. I'm a nasty bitch who loves to fuck. Yeah. But I think I might be at a point where I want to be in a relationship and don't just want to fuck.

Write that sentence you just said. I'm a nasty bitch who likes to fuck. But I also think I'm at a point where I want a relationship. I mean,

we have friends that have gotten married off Tinder. I know, but I feel like I missed the boat on that. I don't think so. I don't agree with that.

You don't think so? No, there's no such thing. Yeah, this is, I don't like the way that this is set up. You've done like

your best one-liners that you would not use on stage. You're like, these are throwaway, but some of them are not reflective of you. I can see that. That's why that day dinner thing

is like, that's not, that's not Nicole. I could see it. Dude, the fact that I, I caught that immediately. You truly did. And that's true. You did clock that.

And it's not you. You should just write what you just said. I'm a nasty bitch who likes to fuck, but I'm also at a point where I wouldn't mind a full-blown whatever the fuck or whatever you just said. Play the tape back. Write it down. Write it down.

I'll listen to it and I'll write it down. Yeah, I just, I don't know. Are you on Riot? Those pictures are great. What? No, I'm not. I don't want to be on a dating app. Ah, yes, you did say that. I don't know. Are you on Raya? What? No, I'm not. I don't want to be on a dating app. Ah, yes, you did say that.

I don't. This is too weird. I also, like, you know what it is? White men are attracted to my body, and black and brown men are attracted to my brain. Ah. And it's really shitty for me. Okay. It's really shitty.

And in L.A., black and brown men want like a Kardashian looking ass bitch that's what they want yes and it's not fun for any chick yeah who doesn't look like that and I feel like very few people look like that so it feels insane

to think that that's what a man would want it's crazy I don't have i don't have money to get surgery but also women aren't natural it's not that it's just i don't look like that period what's wrong not looking like that what's okay what's not okay with me yeah exactly and most of the dudes that want that don't look like the dude that they any of those bitches would fuck anyways so what the fuck have you been tall your whole life? My whole life, yeah. I mean, maybe when I was little, little, but.

Yeah, I've been fat my whole life. So like I don't know another way to be. Yeah. And I feel like like in high school, I grew up in an all white neighborhood. Me and my sister were like, I guess two of five black kids in my high school, maybe ten of us. That's brutal. There was very few of us we weren't made fun of because we came up in a town, or like I was lucky enough to live in a town

where being black or being an other was cool. So like, I don't know, like hip hop was being embraced and being black was cool. And that was like friendship wise but like relationship wise i don't think that it was cool like if one of these little white boys brought home a black girl i'm pretty sure their mother would be like oh what no they would say oh no no are you sure this is a cute fave yeah and my mom would say things like that she'd be like well they're nice

to your face now but wait till one of these boys brings you home. Right. And I was like, oh. And she's right. And it never clicked until like I got a little older, but then nobody ever brought me home. Nobody was ever like. Right.

Right. And yeah, I just. Where did you grow up? Northern California, Modesto, California. I don't even know where that is. 209. 209. It's like less than a five hour drive.

Up north. Yeah, I mean, it was predominantly white. I think it still is pretty white, but now it's getting like, there's always been an Asian community there. Now there's a bigger Latino community. Now with the gentrification of Oakland, there's a black community in Modesto.

And it's a little more mixed than it was before. It's still completely like east side and west side, like the ghetto and the not ghetto. It is crazy how cities are not gentrified, are segregated. Yeah, they're super segregated. It's like Chicago, I think, is one of the most successfully segregated cities in America. Successfully segregated. I mean, my family lives in Chicago,

and they live on the south side. I'd never really seen white people there, so when white people were like, I'm from Chicago, I'd be like, cute, you're from a suburb. You're from like Schaumburg or whatever, Evanston. And Mateo Lane was like, come do this show, it's on the north side, and I never really went to the north side.

Get there, park my car, and it was like the walking dead of white people. They were just walking in. They were every fucking where. Oh my God. And I was like, wait a minute. What do you mean? What is?

I was shocked. And I think I opened the set with, I've never seen so many white people in Chicago. I've never been to the north side. And then I got off stage and a bunch of people were like, that was really funny. Yeah, this is where we all are. I was like,

this is nuts. And they're proud of it. Yeah. And you know, it's so funny too because I always find it interesting and it's true here in LA too where it's like,

you know, you see people online just be like, diversity, inclusiveness, wow, we got to fight for these rights. And then you like,

go on their Instagram and you're like, all your friends look like you. That's kind of weird and you're not making any effort to actually be friends like actually be friends like yeah maybe you're friends with Nicole Byer but you're not actually friends with Nicole Byer

you know and that's the shit that really gets under my skin like it's the same shit with dude that's why this like the kids in cages stuff is interesting because people are like I can't believe we're separating families it's crazy and then they'll like post a picture of of them at a cafe in Highland Park. And I'm like, hey, guys, you know what's happening in Highland Park? Families are getting separated.

That's what's exactly happening. It's just not in a cage. So you don't think it's terrible. Gentrification is such an interesting thing because you don't, I mean, you know it's happening, but it happens pretty fast. It happens pretty fast. But I think the other thing that makes it weird is how many, like whatever, like Highland Park, good example.

A lot of Latinos. The Latinos that originated from Highland Park are also like, oh shit, these white kids want to rent our space for hella money? Fuck it. Yeah, fuck it. Let's do it. Let's fucking do it. I don't give a fuck.

Let's go live somewhere else with a bigger house and let's upgrade. Everybody wants to upgrade. Everybody wants to upgrade. That's the American dream. It is. That's why immigrants come here. They want to fucking upgrade. Even if it is living in the hood of a hood, the hood of a hood in America is still nicer

than the shit that pops off in the third world country. Yeah. And that's what people don't understand. Yeah, it's wild. Like Los Feliz, I'm pretty sure it should be Los Feliz. It is. I'm pretty sure. So we pronounce it.

Dude, the first thing, that was the reason I didn't want to move there. Was every time I said Los Feliz, somebody was like, it's pronounced Los Feliz. I'm like, no, no, no, just because you can't say it doesn't mean the pronunciation changes. Spanish named neighborhood was gentrified so much. So much. That the name is pronounced incorrectly. I mean, Los Angeles is also pronounced incorrectly, but it's like, whatever. We don't get it.

What is it? How is it pronounced? Los Angeles. Los Angeles. Really? Angeles. Los Angeles. Really? Angeles. Los Angeles. Angeles.

Angeles. There it is. Los Angeles. We're going to have her thinking she's Dominican. This Cheetos is very strong. I'm mumbling. Yeah, I also, I feel very happy. I know, I'm feeling good.

This conversation is going to go forever. Dude, there was a guy I had like two summers ago. There was a guy. It was a comic. And my ideal situation would be being with a comic and being with someone who gets my life. So there was a comic that I had a crush on. All homegirls know I had a crush on him. And I was like, you know what?

I'm going to like by the end of the summer, i'm gonna like just if if this is like going well and we're hanging out and it feels good and it's cool i'm gonna just be like yo i got feelings for you what right so we had spent a bunch of fucking time together it was really nice we got along it was really sweet um it so there was a moment where i was like this is this is the week to do it i'm gonna be like yo what's good so we're all everybody's fucked up we're the thing

we're all fucked up and I pull him aside and I'm like dude I fucking really like you and he's like I like you too and I'm like no no no

I like really really like you like you and like you know but whatever I said I was like professing my love for him basically and I was like

so there's that and he just stood there frozen oh. And I was like, so there's that. And he just stood there frozen. Oh boy. And I was like, so anyway, so I really like you. And so if like we could do something with this,

that would be cool because we get along so well. Your family loves me. Your friends love me. I can tell you really like me. We get along so well. And he stayed frozen. And my temper kicked in because i have a bad temper and i go you know what i know you like white girls with big butts so you know what just do that follow that i'm good just want to let you know it's all good peace out and i walked away and i

was like well that's done it was embarrassing but that's the other thing say anything to you he did but it was like the next day. And it was not, it was a very, he really threw himself under the bus. It was not, I'm not going to repeat what he said because it was not pleasant. No. And it was just, it was that moment where I was like, I can get along with a man so perfectly that I'm like, I'm not imagining things. No, you're not. This is a good thing.

Like we work well together we make a good team like we look good together like it's nice you know and it's all it was all the things and in la men are so there's so many they're so saturated with beautiful people beautiful people whatever that is for them that when they do actually have something of substance they don't go with it they're like why would i do that also why would i settle down of like self-worth is warped because you'll see dumpster men with beautiful women it's like that dumpster man's probably a millionaire right that's probably why he's got that or he's got some sort of power that's why you're an open mic or like what is like just chill out and stay in your lane right i worked with this guy and i really liked him he was the director of what i was

working on and i was like you know what i'm gonna tell him that like over these last couple weeks i've really been feeling him i think he's cute cute. I think he's nice. I think we compliment each other. So at the wrap party, I was just like, hey, I'm going to tell you something. You have two options. One, you say, Nicole, I wholeheartedly agree. And we go out. Two, you say, Nicole, no hard feelings, but I don't feel the same way. OK. And he said, OK. I said, I like you. I think you're really attractive i think you're cute um i think uh we would you know fit well together and then he was like oh gee nicole uh well i just and i was like i said two options yeah is it one or two and he's like i i think i i'd like to take you out and i was was like, okay, cool. So then we like exchanged numbers, started texting and then the text came

that was like, I don't know if I feel the same way about you that you do me and I was like, we could have avoided all of this. You were not gonna hurt my feelings. I literally told you

you could say no to my fucking face. And you were too coward to do that? Yeah. Like you had to do it via text do at least you got an audible response i can't imagine someone just blinking at me like that's the other thing is like i know i have a bad temper and i'm working on it it's a thing whatever i don't raise my voice but i got a

temper and i remember thinking like oh like i'm gonna lose my shit right now like i have to walk away and i just have to say like a quick like a funny thing or something and just get out of here because I was like I'm going to lose it. I stopped working with someone I was working with

and when I told him that we weren't going to be working together anymore he like blinked at me and didn't say anything and I was like I felt the blood boil and I was like

don't. Yeah. Just stay calm. Yeah. And then he was saying shit at me that I was like none of this makes sense and I was like just stay calm. Don't yell then he was saying shit at me that I was like, none of this makes sense.

And I was like, just stay calm. Don't yell. Don't give him what he wants. He wants you to get angry because then you have something to argue about. Right. If you stay calm, you can't argue about anything because you're just stating facts. So I have that issue with getting very angry and like shooting off at people. have that issue with getting very angry and like shooting off at people like i got into an argument with a fellow comic about something and we like got on the phone and i got like heated real quick

right and they were like you sound angry and i was like i'm not angry i'm making a point but i also was angry right and after like talking to somebody else about it and like really thinking about it, I was like, oh, we literally were coming at this from two different like schools of thought. So then I apologized to them. I was like, here's where I was coming from. They were like, here's where I was coming from. And I was like, great. I'm so glad we had that moment where we could just get on the same page about why we were upset with each other. It's hard when i was the first guy i

ever dated um i think he thought i yelled which i mean i have a temper but i don't yell and so he was like i'll never forget i was sitting on the edge of my bed and he's yelling at me standing over me yelling at me pointing at me and i'm just standing there like just just sitting there like looking at him almost like I'm looking at a painting. And he just goes, why aren't you reacting? Why don't you say anything? What's wrong with you? And I go, I just don't really understand yelling.

I don't do yelling. I get that you're mad, but I do not do yelling. That is one thing. I do not exchange words in that capacity. And it made him, of course, even more mad. even more mad angrier yeah so he just started yelling more and i was just like oh yeah you gotta go like you gotta leave now yeah any dude that's just gonna fucking yell at you is not worth your fucking time no not at all so yeah no i mean obviously it didn't last oh here's a question when did you lose your virginity i'm sure you've talked about this before what um i believe i was 20 is that late i was 25 19 or 20 i was 25

oh i think i feel like it's late because i feel like everyone's like oh yeah i was fucking in high school yeah but that's the filthy animals i lost it in my not the greatest way uh just a random man in a bathroom at a bar i mean at certain point, when you want to get out of the way, that's what happens. Yes, I did. I wanted it gone. I didn't want that anymore. I encourage all of your listeners,

male and female, don't do that. No, don't. Not a good story doesn't make for a good story. It doesn't. It's like I couldn't pick him out in a lineup. Yeah, it was just... I mean, I will say, the way I lost my virginity,

I was finally fed up. I was 25, so I was fed up. And I found a guy that was extremely like he was so hot like that's the one thing like he's a piece of shit but he was fucking hot as fuck he looked like common you know the rapper common of course he basically looks like common so sexy and i was like well at least i can at least that's the story i fucked a really hot guy with a huge dick were you dating or were you just like let me get it over with yeah? Yeah, I was definitely like, let's get it over, let's just,

like, I was like, I want to fuck you. I don't, I'm still a virgin, I need to fuck. He had a humongous dick. Oh?

It was too much. It was actually, it went to waste with me. I didn't have any experience. But, then we started dating and then he was a piece of shit. So I was like,

this has got to stop. Yeah, I just, like, in my early 20s i just fucked a lot i just fucked a lot of just dudes from bars and i think i'm at a point now i like hit 30 31 32 i don't know i'm 47 and it was really funny on you post that on instagram it was really funny thank you i just i feel like used to lie about, or not lie about my age.

Like, my Tinder says I'm 28, and I can't figure out how to change it. But it was younger because I didn't want the industry to know how old I was. Right, right, right, right. But now it's on Wikipedia. Now it's on IMDB. It doesn't fucking matter. So now I tell people I'm 50, 47. It doesn't matter.

62, 97. You look great for your age. If you're 50, you look great for your age, Nicole. Thank you. Thank you. 50 years yeah yeah

God's queen I don't fucking care I also like we're coming from a generation that it doesn't matter yeah we're watching women

who are older be extremely successful and also gets like Ava DuVernay got success later in life later in life yeah

and so we're not we're not coming through like and that's why I'm happy that anybody who's like 20 right now that's all they know. They're like, oh, you can be successful at any age.

At any age, yeah. Which is amazing. I feel bad for the women who are 40 right now who are still lying about, who are actually lying about their age and actually hate themselves. Yes. I'm like, girl, what? 40 is young. 40 is young. We're all living longer and longer.

I just watched, have you ever seen All About Eve? No. It's a very interesting movie. It's All About Eve is about an aging film star who has a fan who like just loves her, starts working for her

and then like not assumes her identity but like just like starts booking more and she's worried. She's like, I'm getting older and this young girl

is just gonna just take my shit and I feel like now there's like, I'm getting older and this young girl is just going to take my shit. I feel like now there's so many outlets that you don't have to worry about that, but that was a real thing that women had to worry about. You hit 50, you're a dumpster. You're trash. You go away. They take you out.

Nobody loves you. You're done! But men, men get to just grow old. What fucking show was I watching that had an older woman? And like, you could see all the wrinkles in her face. And at first, when I first saw her on screen, I was like, why does she look so weird? I couldn't figure it out. And I realized it's because we don't get to see women with full-blown wrinkles.

We see men all the time. All the time with wrinkles. But we see Botox women who can't move their faces. Exactly. And that's what I was like, it took me a minute to figure it out, but I was so happy once I realized, I was like, oh, she has wrinkles on her face, which is normal.

I see wrinkles on women all the time. I interact with older women all the time. So it doesn't actually faze me, but on screen, I definitely notice, which is good. I'm glad I noticed. Because also, I don't have a problem looking at this woman or her having authority on this show. No, it's like seeing an older woman on screen, it's not going to make people just fucking pass out. Be like, she's too old.

It's fine. It might make some dudes pass out. I don't know. Men need to just get on board and fucking get over shit. Men just want erections all the time. I mean. That's the problem. And I want my pussy licked all the time.

But like I'm not. Yeah, you're compromising. Old fucking dudes. You're compromising. Marcella, here's a question. Yeah. Would you date me? Probably not.

Fair. I agree. I think we're two strong personalities yeah it wouldn't work and I think we would just constantly butt heads we wouldn't compromise and I think we would

butt heads but then also have a conversation after and be like alright let's not fight about that anymore let's just have fun yeah we love each other

right I mean I really love you and then we would right this is why we would make good friends and then just butt heads again

yeah that's why we would make good friends but not good I agree no it's not a good dating situation no alright we've come

to the end oh Marcella do you have anything you want to plug we talked about Women Crush Wednesday a lot but it's

Wednesday it's a great show I don't know when this drops um I don't know either well if it drops it's every Wednesday right

no I was gonna say I mean I have plenty of tour dates coming up I am coming oh yes yes to the Blue Whale Comedy Festival in Tulsa Oklahoma Well, if it drops. It's every Wednesday, right? No, I was going to say, I mean, I have plenty of tour dates coming up. I am coming to the Blue Whale Comedy Festival in Tulsa, Oklahoma, the end of August. I'm coming to New York. I'm doing Butter Boy on the, I think it's the first week of August. And I have dates all over. I'm recording my album at San Francisco Punchline July 24th and 25th, but I don't know when this drops.

So hopefully you can catch that. Do you have a website? MarcellaComedy.com and two L's, MarcellaComedy.com Follow me online. Yes. Perfect. Thank you so much for coming on. If you liked this episode of

Why Won't You Date Me? Please subscribe and if you feel compelled you can leave a nasty little message for me and I will read it. Aimee2711 said Nicole, I'm gay as fuck

but I want to lick jerk chicken sauce off your butt. Wow. Thank you so much. Alright, thank you for listening. All right. Thank you for listening. Bye-bye. This has been a Team Coco production.