Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Catfishing Men on Craigslist (w/ Bosco)

Episode Date: July 14, 2023

Drag queen Bosco (Drag Race S14) joins Nicole to discuss their long-term relationship with a fan, recounts her most enchanting full-day date, and tells how to spot chasers vs. genuine men. She shares how catfishing on Craigslist for attention ignited her trans journey, plus spills the tea on the severe highs, lows, and trauma shooting Drag Race.  For more drag queen interviews, check out our episode playlist on Spotify: bit.ly/wwydmdrag Nicole wants to hear from you! Need some dating or relationship advice from Nicole and her guest? Submit your question to [e-mail] for a chance to have it answered on an upcoming special mailbag episode. Follow Nicole Byer: See Nicole on tour! Get tickets at linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerMerch: podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Hi, hi, hello. Okay, do you have a burning question about dating, sex, or love that you'd like me and my guests to answer on the podcast? Okay, because you can send it to whywontyoudatemeepodcastatgmail.com for a chance to have it read on an upcoming special episode of the show.

I hope to hear from you. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Oh, baby. Welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? A podcast where me and Nicole Byer used to try to figure out why I was still single But listen, it's been a long time, there's no clues, there's no answers, there's nothing So I'm just exploring love and reliance on chaps with people

My guest today is a multi-award winning drag queen who competed on RuPaul's Drag Race Season 14. She's walked to New York Fashion Week. Can you even? And now you can see her on the work of the world tour. It's B-Bop, B-Bop, B-D-D-D-D-D, Bosco. Hi, honey girl. What are my multiple awards? I don't even know my intro.

Please tell me. Listen. You've won the MTV Movie and TV Award for Best Fight, which was shared with Lady Camden. Okay, I did win that. And the Critics' Choice Real TV Award for Best Ensemble Cast in an Unscripted Series. Oh. Okay, great.

Perfect. Thank you. I love it. Perfect. Thank you. I love it. This is where you come to find out, have you won awards? Absolutely. This is where I come to like update my resume. Perfect.

The LinkedIn is fucking going off. I don't understand LinkedIn. I don't either because I haven't had like a real person job in a very long time. But I hear that's where you apply for jobs. Maybe. So you don't even know. If I ask you a question, you're not going to know the answer.

I wonder. I wonder if it's like a message board where they're like, we need workers for this. I don't know. Whatever. I'm glad I don't have to do a desk job. It's nice that I'm in entertainment. Bosco. Yes. I have a question. Please tell me your question. Okay. Are you single? Are you dating? I am dating. I have a very, very lovely boyfriend for the past three going on four years. He rocks. That's so nice. I love that you said immediately,

he rocks. Where'd you meet him? He used to come to my shows here in Seattle, and he'd be sitting in the audience. And then one night he got really drunk and asked me to go to lunch the next day. And I was covered in fake blood at the time. And I'm like, well, I don't look like this during the day. And he's like, time. And I'm like, well, I don't look like this during the day. And he's like, I understand. I'm like, OK, as long as that's clear. And we just kind of went from there. I love that the blood wasn't like a fetish thing.

Like, imagine you were like, I don't look like this during the day. And he was like, oh, yuck. I only want someone covered in blood. Well, I also had like full drag makeup on, like heavy metal harlot. And I never said that the blood wasn't a fetish. I just said that it wasn't a deal breaker at that moment. I love, I heavy metal harlot. And I never said that the blood wasn't a fetish. I just said that it wasn't a deal breaker at that moment. I love, I love, I love. So that was like three going on four years ago. What was the thing that made you be like, this is the person I want to be

with for a little bit? Well, we started dating right before 2020. And then 2020 happened and I lost my job, all my friends and my mom. And we were stuck together for about a year and a half. So at that point, he just like knew too much about me to ever like freely wander the earth without me. So we just kind of locked it down. So wait, how how quickly did it go from like casual to serious? How quickly did it go from like casual to serious? Well, it went pretty serious pretty quickly because we were keeping it casual and fun and cute and light for like the first four, five months.

And then everything shut down and we were the only people that we could see. And I was in a particularly bad mood because I had just lost all of my work and couldn't go anywhere. Seattle was like one of the really, really like heavily hit first places. So like everything was game over. So we just spent all of our time together for like a year and a half essentially. And now we moved in. It's great. You live together? We do live together. I have a very spacious yet affordable townhome with this van, and it makes me feel like I am very, very successful. Damn. I love a townhouse. A townhouse is opulence and glamour.

But also, like, a little bit of humility. Like, it's not a real home. You still share a wall, but listen. But listen. Sometimes the divas gotta share a wall it's fine exactly and honestly like listen you can hear them now the walls are thin who decided to move in with who who asked i kind of bullied him into moving in because his lease was up last summer. And this was before we had moved into my glorious and spacious townhouse. It was my like one bedroom apartment that I'd had for years. And it is very small, but it was mine. And I had to like leave for tour for like half the year, essentially last year. So his lease is up. So I made him move in so he could live there for free and take care of my plants. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Honestly, that's like a

pretty nice hook. It's like you get to live for free, but you got to water my plants. I'd be like, OK, sounds sounds good and easy. Honestly, I'm like I have like seven plants. It's not like it was a jungle and arboretum in here. It was a pretty good deal. This I love. Do you remember the first time you were like, oh, I fucking love this person? I really was smitten with him pretty quickly. I don't know if there was like an event, like a jumping off point where I'm like, oh, now the love has begun right here at this particular moment. But it was like a very cumulative thing of just like he was continuously there and providing support and doing like the right thing at every chance.

And after a while, that just kind of builds into something really, really strong. And it didn't hurt that I was already very much crushing on him, very much into him before all of that as well. When I think of love, I always think of the movies where you're walking,

kind of like in Clueless, where Cher is walking and she's near that fountain. She's like, I love Josh. I'm hopefully whatever in love with Josh. That's how I think love happens. And I feel like that's a very, maybe, childish way to think of love. Maybe that's all love. It's just like, oh, this is a thing that became comfortable and I'm happy.

I think there's a degree of truth to both. I think there should be some sort of action that brings you together that's memorable. But then I think like love really is built through routine and commitment and just like boring shit like that, which isn't really fun or sexy. But we can also be very fun or sexy. What is the most romantic thing that either of you have ever done for each other? Oh, this timing wise, this worked out really, really well on his part. He planned this really, really lovely full day date where like we went to the lake and then we went to dinner and we went to there's this tulip field thing that happens in Washington once a year where there's just like fields and fields and fields of tulips. And he took me there.

We walked through them. We got beautiful pictures and it was really, really fun. And then at the end of the day, I got a call from Greg saying that I was casted for season 14. So I'm just like, you motherfucker. that I was casted for season 14. So I'm just like, you motherfucker. It was just like so fully timed in a way that I'm like, that day is just burned into my memory forever.

That's so sweet. What a lovely, just like cherry on the end of a nice day. Absolutely. Like it's just like we've had fabulous dates and like so many great memories together. But that one, just because of how the cards lined up, is just cemented in there. God, I just, I love it. I'm looking for something romantic.

Okay, here's a question. When did you guys start hanging out during the day? Oh, that's a really important one, especially as drag queens and as trans people. Like that's kind of like the very separation of church and state, separation of day and night for like as trans people. Like that's kind of like the very like separation of church and state, separation of day and night for like nightlife people. I want to say like date four or five. It was like, okay.

He was mainly like coming to my gigs or like hanging out with me after the gigs. Like I work night. And then I think the first day date we went to the movies. I had really thought about that. What our first day date was. I think the first day date we went to the movies. I had really thought about that, what our first day date was. I think that's how you separate the chasers from the men, as it were. I think so. I never know when to ask somebody if it's okay to hang out during the day.

Because, you know, you like go on a date, it's at night, and then you hang out. And then like you fuck or whatever, you sleep over. And it's like, I got to get home. night and then you hang out and then like you pop or whatever you sleep over and it's like i gotta get home um but i never know when it's appropriate to be like hey when the sun is still up do you want to hang out with me i would do you have like a good like um lead into it do you have um a line that you use to like do that or you're still trying to figure that out i'm still trying to figure that out well i wish still trying to figure that out. Well, I wish I could help you, but I'm just extraordinarily gifted and lucky with love.

Seems like everybody in the world is. Do you consider yourself a late bloomer or early bloomer? Like, have you been dating for like forever? Like, were you the person in middle school who like had like a boyfriend or a girlfriend? I would definitely be considered a late bloomer. I'm from like a small town in Montana. There wasn't a whole like amount, a large amount of like weird people to pick from. And I usually enjoy people with teeth and no meth addictions.

So Montana itself was kind of like... Kind of like iffy. Not a smorgasbord. Definitely some great options. Most of them were either taken or 30 and I was 16, which probably was not a great option in itself. Yeah, so I didn't really date much at all until like my early 20s and then I had like one kind of on and off again boyfriend who was cool but kind of just like refused to go very far with anything and then I moved out to Seattle in like 2016 and just kind of fucked around and didn't date until Blake so I

really only had like two major relationships. Blake being like kind of the second one, but like a lot of situationships along the way. That's what I keep getting into. A lot of situationships where the situation works for the other person and not for me. None of my situationships ever worked out well. And like I was always the one that was like, fighting for more for them. And I didn't like when I met, like, I was mainly just focusing on getting like my work going and figuring out like my art and whatnot. So it all kind of just like fell into my lap. That's what I want.

I didn't do any work for it. That's what I want. I want to do no work. I think that's what you deserve. I think that's what everybody deserves. I think it should just fall into your lap. No work. Thank you. I think that's what everybody deserves. I think it should just fall into your lap. No work. Thank you. I think I deserve it. It's all I fucking want. I just want a relationship to fall in my lap if there's no one to love me. Yeah. Let's see. You've been together for three

to four years. And how does like traveling affect your relationship? Because you tour a lot. Yeah. traveling affect your relationship? Because you tour a lot, yeah? Yeah. So traveling's really fucking hard. It puts a really, really heavy strain on things. And each travel's kind of different. Up until this point this year, I've mainly just been doing club gigs where I'll be gone for three to four days at a time, come back for a week. where I'll be gone for three to four days at a time, come back for a week. But when it comes to these bigger tours and the work the world tour that we're going to pop on to, I'm gone for months at a time.

So we're really trying to figure out how to make this work this year because last year was a stretch for sure. Our current plan is for him to just pick dates that he wants to go to and I'll fly him out and he can spend a few days with me and see if we can make that work. But yeah, this year's going to be a little bit of

trial and error experimentation. If the next time we talk we're not in a relationship anymore, it's probably because of the travel. The travel's a bitch. It's crazy. And especially, like, he's, like, he has, like, a really, really great people person job. Like, he works in, like, medicine.

And I tap dance on bar tables for a living. So, like, while I'm traveling and, like, oh, my God, I just got to, like, have, like, an entire, like, night spender with Vanjie. And he'll be like, oh, my God, I just got to like have like an entire like night spender with Vanjie. And you'll be like, oh, that's great, babe. I just worked another like 10 hour shift. It's very funny. It's like I'm saving lives and I'm dancing with Vanjie on bar tops. Like it's all about the balance.

He's like in oncology scams and I wear wigs i think we both offer a lot to the world honestly you said it jokingly but i do think you do i'll take that i take that since doing drag race have people tried to like slide into your dms and be like bosco let's see let me take you on. Yes, yes, for sure. But I do think I sit in a very particular camp when it comes to the drag race, the race chasers, because they are usually gay men, and I am not a man. So I don't get quite as many DMs as, say say somebody like Lady Camden would, but I get very, very particular ones. Honestly, my favorite thing is I have recently infiltrated straight Tinder for compliments while I'm on the road. I absolutely fucking love that. Go to where nobody knows you and just get compliments to feel better. It's like, get strangers from different countries while I'm on, not countries, different states while I'm on tour. Please just tell me I'm pretty and I'll leave and never see you again.

It's awesome. It's like just like a little rush and just like, God, I'm having a hard day. Let's see what the chasers have to say today. And it's it's fantastic. This is fucking beautiful. I mean, sometimes I'll open up Tinder and be like, has anyone said anything nice? I did have a man who opened up with,

hey, sausage. And I said, what? And then he said, you're beautiful. And I just deleted him because I was like, I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means either. And like, it just, I can't think of a singular way to like construe that as like glamorous or like helpful or nice.

And like, I don't want to put any work to try to do that. No work. I think the theme of this podcast is we're not doing work. We're not doing any more goddamn work. I simply do not want to do any work. It would be a real treat if somebody just like knocked on my door and I opened the door and they were like, you, you're for me. And I go, oh, what a dream.

Yes, I am for you. And then we actually get along. That's what I fucking want. Yeah, I think that'd be neat. That second part's really important as well. That's almost more important than the first part. A lot of times, I mean, I think getting along and actually liking the person is, I think we don't talk enough about that

because it is important. You have to be able to like do nothing with that person and just like deal with them every day. Yeah. And like sometimes and oftentimes people suck, like really cool people. Yeah. And like you have to really like and get along with somebody in order for you to be OK with their own version of sucking. Which is very interesting. Yeah. Like a lot of things that are like so some things are deal breakers and then some things you're like, OK, well, that's just a thing you do that I guess i'll just fucking have to deal with absolutely and you have to like create like kind of like a little like pro and cons list of just like okay that can kind of offset that this is the absolute like red flag like nope nope nope nope nope but

him leaving his clothes out next to the hamper rather than putting them in the hamper which would have taken worth of effort is one could reason to like leave somebody but it is irritating yes very irritating living with somebody seems wild in a way where i just don't know if that's in the cards for me i like my space. And yeah, the thought of someone throwing their clothes next to the hamper when they could just put it in the hamper is like, so who's going to do it? Me? It's a game of chicken at that point. And then once you do it once for them, then you're just doing it every single time. Then it just happens and they don't even notice anymore. It's crazy.

I will have to say, Blake is the first boyfriend that i've ever moved in with it's great but i was very much in the same camp that you are where i'm like i had so many fucking roommates for so fucking many years that when i got my own one room bedroom i, you are going to have to airlift my dead body out of here. Like, you will have to literally firebomb my apartment to make me live with somebody else right now. And then that changed. But living by yourself is one of the greatest luxuries I have ever afforded by myself. And I think everybody should live by themselves at least once, hopefully once in their life, if not many times.

I agree. I currently live by myself and my dog, Clyde. Clyde. He's such a cutie. I love him so much. But sometimes I'll catch myself having like a full conversation with him and that's when I'm like,

oh, you should text a friend and leave this home. You gotta get out there. You got to talk to people and have a nice time. Live a life. It is really easy to get sucked into your own little world. And then it becomes that one episode of SpongeBob where he's friends with the tissue and the penny and the potato chip. Like, you get there pretty quickly, really quickly, honestly, especially if you can

like work from home at all. I feel so scared for my friends who like live by themselves, who work from home. I'm like, I we just do like a wellness check once a week just to make sure that they're still there to be like, are you all right? Are you going to leave the house? Oh, wait, this coffee mug is very fun. I'll describe it. It's a cow mug. And instead of, oh, instead of just a flat base, there's little udders at the bottom. Yeah, I think it's festive. I have a thing for novelty dishware. I like things that are shaped stupidly.

I bought me and my boyfriend matching cat mugs. And when you put them out together it looked like the cats are kissing and it's one of my favorite things in the world that's cute when you gave it to your boyfriend was he as excited as you were not in the least that's my favorite thing I've talked about it before on this podcast but I once made a person I was dating watch Sonic 1 before we went and saw Sonic 2. And it took three full days or maybe four full days. And they were not excited to watch it, but they were very excited to watch how excited I was to see Sonic 2 in theaters.

And that's the important part. And then my cat mug is like this like pussy little like pink cat mug with like a white cat on it. And then it's like blue with like a little like cute little like black cat on it. And then they smooch. Very his and hers. It's one of my favorite things. I fucking love that. Real quick, Bosco.

Yeah. We gotta take a break. And we're back Bosco okay tell me this I know you started training dance training dance dance training at around seven how do you know that because Lindsay my wonderful assistant does research and I know that you started with tap dancing. Oh, my God. What? Is she just like taking newspaper clippings from my hometown? I actually sent her to your hometown and she interviewed everyone you ever spoke to growing up. Wow. And then killed your family. That's crazy.

But what inspired you to start dancing? Sometimes you just have so much sugar in the tank that you need to get it out through your feet. And I think that's how tap dancing was invented. If I had to guess. Yeah, I hated sports and I wasn't very good at them. And my grandpa was dating at the time and is now married to the owner of a dance studio. And so they threw my ass in there, hoping that it would like Fred Asterify me or like Gene Kellyify me. And then like we just kind of ended up as like a slutty Ginger Rogers, which I think is more interesting.

But yeah, I started it kind of family situation and then ended up really, really liking it. I love that they were like, OK, so sports are not for you. Let's find you something like that. Sweet. I love that. That's so supportive. Yeah. My family's cool. They're all band nerds. So like none of them were good at sports. So like they were like they would they would honestly be more like mortified if one of their like kids were like an athlete more so than anything. They're like, well, I would know how to like relate with you on that. Like I would know how to talk sports. So like let's get them into the arts. So we all like play instruments and whatnot. But dancing was my thing. And they were very supportive of me dancing. Wait, Bosco, when did you start doing drag?

I started doing drag at 25. Okay. So like five years ago. And what was the Oedipus? No, Impotent? What started it? The Impotent Oedipus of it all. The guy who wants to fuck his mom mom but he just can't get it

sometimes i try to do a new big word and sometimes it doesn't go well and that was one of the times it did not go well no i liked it i feel like that should be like the name of a novel like that is a study that is Oedipus um well I had been um catfishing men on craigslist for a while okay and um also was a backup dancer for um drag queens as like uh I would like be the backup dancer for Britney Spears so like I took my um love for cross-dressing on the internet at home and combined it with dancing and stole all the tricks of these drag queens and kind of set off on my own. What do you mean you were catfishing men on the internet on Craigslist? Well, I mainly once again was doing this for attention. You'll find that I do a lot of things for attention.

And that's kind of my main love language is giving me attention. So as a baby trans person, sometimes when you want to feel euphoric, you dress up in a wig and makeup and post nude, not nude, but lewd pictures of yourself online. And like, I don't think I was like fooling anyone into thinking I was a cis woman, especially because I was not labeling myself to be a cis woman. But I guess I was catfishing them to think that I was a trans woman, but then I was a trans woman. I'm not really sure, but I was dressing up in a way that I wouldn't during the day for attention from men at night. Okay. I think I get it.

It's a long journey to get to where I'm at. Being open in who you are and living authentically? Yeah, I think that's the moral of the story that we want to go with for this. I think that's the nice soundbite. Well, it's hard. It's hard to, like, do something that isn't... Let's see. I mean, transness isn't presented to me necessarily, like, every day.

So it's like, if I was feeling trans inside, like, I would be like, well, this is a strange feeling. Who do I talk to about it? It's not like the person down... Well, you know, the person down the street could be trans, but like, usually I don't know. Yeah. Like, I don't know. Growing up, I knew like two or three gay people. I didn't know a single trans person until I was like 23. Really? Like, like a trans person that was regularly in my life. Yeah. I had done

a lot of battling and work to like be accepting of like myself being gay. We're using quotation marks for those of us at home that can't see what my fingers are doing. Yes, air quote. And yeah, so like I had just done all of that work. I had updated the pronouns, the email header. I'm like, you won't have to change that all again. I'm not ready for all that. So I was like doing a dry run, if you will.

Like we're doing like a soft open of like transness. And that involves like experimenting and like seeing how certain things make you feel and seeing like what makes you feel good and accepted. And then there's also sometimes like navigating like, oh, maybe this is just a kink. And then maybe sometimes it's like just like your how you want to present. Like maybe like your kink is being accepted for who you are. Who would have thought that nasty little kink might be a little bit of all of us? I know it's crazy acceptance. It's the it's the real social contagion.

You said you love attention and you had a face reveal party in west hollywood was that like i feel like that's like a very redundant sentence like yeah yeah i think you're right i just kind of loved it i was like i'm gonna go to this this is fun i love that you had a whole face reveal party. But I will say I was in the back and I didn't see anything. I saw online later. I wish I had known you were coming. You would have been able to go wherever you want. I wish you knew some Drag Race girls or I wish you would have been able to like contact somebody involved with the production.

I decided too late to like, I was like, I'm going to go. I think Kornbrough was on the show. So I texted Kornbrough, but then I was like, she's probably getting ready. What am I doing? And then I was like, you know what?

We got here late. I'm fine in the back. I'm just going to black out. And that's what I did. It was a lovely time. I am so happy that your favorite part of the show were the drinks.

Because that was kind of my kind of thing, too. You know, the party was really, really fun. I was so excited that people were into it. Because, I don't know, it just sounded like such a stupid John Waters-esque concept for a party. Just like, let's have a party celebrating me getting my face ripped off and put back on remix and then also it was on president's day so like i made like all of like the advertisement like patriotic so i'm just glad people were into it it was so fucking packed it was truly wild like that must have felt so not like affirming or anything but like did that feel like

just I don't know like an overwhelming support did it feel good that's what I'm trying to ask yes did it feel good my god it felt really good um yeah it honestly it did feel for affirming in a way um it felt less affirming of well it felt affirming in two different ways like obviously people were very excited and supportive of my transition but then they were also like excited and supportive of me after drag race like a lot of like drag race girls we kind of have a moment after our season is wrapped where we're like are people still gonna care about us once the new season comes out like does anyone give a shit there's like 70 million of us across the world at this point are they still gonna care about me and then

to have this party that like was crazy oversold and then like have like videos from it like go like all over the internet i'm just like okay people um are a fan of me and are happy for me transitioning. And that like one, two punch, like kept me going through the rest of the year of just like, I'm good. I feel good. I feel great. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I love that. I love that so much. How did you come up with the name Bosco? I had a childhood dog named Bosco and he is dead. So he's not using that name anymore. So I have put it to use. I wanted a name that... He's dead, so he's not using it. So I said, oh, what about me? I think it's okay for women to want things for themselves.

I think so too. Can we get behind that? Absolutely. I want the world. And you deserve the world. And you know what you also deserve? What? Not work. You don't need to work for it.

They just need to give it to you. Thank you. Just gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. Take, take, take, take, take. I wanted a name that was something specific to me and my history that people wouldn't know, that wouldn't matter to anybody else, but then also didn't mean anything to anybody else. I wanted a name where you heard that it was kind of like a blank canvas where it can kind of sound like a brand or something. But then I found out that Bosco means a lot of things to a lot of different people. Oh, does it?

So it does. And I found this all out after the fact. There is a chocolate sauce called Bosco, which is what Alaska is consistently referencing when she says my name in a particular way. RuPaul also referenced it because RuPaul gave me what I am proud to say is probably the worst tagline of any drag race contender in the history of the show. I don't know if you remember it. I don't remember it.

Her intro for me, every time I'd come on the runway, starting from like episode four or five on, is, there's something not clean in the milk. It's Bosco. on is there's something not clean in the milk it's Bosco that is not the craziest but I see that at the first time and I just like screamed what that walked out on stage for like one of my runways that is it is so wild there's something not clean in the milk.

It's Bosco. The conception, the execution, the phrasing. There is nothing about that that makes me feel comfortable. No. Not a single piece of that. But she's talking about the chocolate sauce. That is truly wild. I love it so much. called a Bosco stick. Okay. And then there's also in Ireland,

a child's puppet that's like famous for being like, it's like a Kermit the Frog type of situation named Bosco. And it's like a little clown with red hair. Oh, how funny. Where did you figure out your drag aesthetic or how did you figure it out? It took me a minute. With drag, it's kind of like a weird class on like self-marketing and like figuring out like what you're giving, which I feel like a lot of entertainers like you have to just kind of like show up and entertain for a while before you get a sense of like what the audience is like reading from you.

like reading from you when i first started doing drag i was doing like really happy like gender fuckery performance pieces spoken word monologues martha graham fucking collegiate bullshit um because i'm from seattle yeah and i that's just like a rite of passage here you kind of have to like roll around in the fake blood and do a monologue if you want to get anywhere in this town but what people were getting from me um that i didn't realize was like kind of like a sex appeal or like there's like some sort of like pin-up situation or there was a performance quality that i didn't really think i had that people were picking up on. So then I started diving into it and going with kind of like a very sultry demonic villainous type of vibe.

And people started really resonating with that. And then I saw an anime where a character had my eyebrows and I'm like, oh, I'm stealing those. I'm stealing those. Because I want to be able to change my makeup up as much as I want. But if I have a singular, like, focal piece, they'll always know it's me.

Which came in huge handy after I had my face remixed. Because otherwise, nobody knows who the fuck I am right now. After I had my face remixed. Were the anime villains Baki Hanma and Mako from Avatar Korra. You really had your sleuths on this. Did you just have a private eye following me around for the past two years to prepare for this podcast? I'm telling you, Lindsay's very good. She'll figure it out.

Lindsay has people. Lindsay has eyes everywhere. She really does. Yeah, those are some of them. There's also characters characters from like Castlevania. It's kind of like there's like a kind of a weird cartoon trope where like devils and vampires and like general evil people have this kind of eyebrow shade. I'm like, well, that's just like a smart thing to steal then. I love it.

Real quick. We got to take another break and oh we're back what your season of drag race was it was two after the pandemic when did it air it aired there's so many seasons. It's hard to keep track of everything. I can barely keep track of school is on mine. So that's fine. There was 2021.

Yeah. Yeah. 2021. No way. Wait. Then 2022. Yes. 2022.

You were just the last season before this last season. Good Lord. And there's been last season before this last season. Good lord! And there's been like six seasons since my season, so it just feels like it was 82 years ago. Did you enjoy your time on Drag Race, or did you find it hard and grueling? Both. It was some of the most severe highs and lows of my entire life. They kind of put you through the blender there. I'm sure you've had a lot of girls on that have talked about the trials and tribulations

and intense emotions, but there's not really a way to really put into words how fucking traumatic that experience is. But it's also like some of the coolest and biggest moments of your entire life all packaged into one little fun summer camp that will be watched by millions of people a year later and they will tell you that you are ugly and to go die for wearing the same outfit twice it is very interesting that fans of anything people who consume anything are like you suck

you are nasty and it's like did you not think I tried? Like, nobody does that to you when you try. Right. I'm just like, at what level of like public like consuming do we like stop being like, oh, that's a person that's putting their best foot forward and actively trying to do a good job. We should make sure that they want to kill themselves. Like, at what point do we like the flip switch that we just like, I need them to know that I need them. At what point do we get to that? It's so truly wild. I have never once been like, I don't I mean, I have watched things and gone, I don't like it. But I've never been like,

and I need to let them know. Let me find where they are. Let me ask them and let me tell them exactly how the fuck I feel. It's so wild. Even like before, like I would be like, I didn't like that. I wouldn't even put it into writing. I might talk to a friend about it. But like there will be think pieces put out about like individual people on a reality tv show and like full character assassination studies i'm like what now it's wild i try with judging

on the show and then sometimes i'll do my friend mono agapian's podcast drag her i always try if i don't like something to be like it wasn wasn't for me. I understand that it could be for somebody else, but for me, I did not love and try to give like constructive criticism or like, just be like, whatever. But like, sometimes people are just like, I really want to hurt your feelings. And they do. And they're really good at it. And I'll never fucking understand that. It's so weird. I don't have much time for it. But at the same time, I think it is worth what we get out of it. But it is such a weird and intense price to pay. Yeah, especially for girls that have like more of like a villainous edits or like a less like pleasant edit. But like,

I feel like the word villain has completely lost any sort of meaning. Like villain or somebody who disagreed with somebody else and then wasn't nice about it. How dare she? Whenever I hear villain, I go, oh, good television? Can I tell you who is the best television of all time right now? Who?

And I'm so obsessed with. Are you watching the new season? Alexis Michelle? Alexis fucking Michelle. Alexis Michelle. Oh my God. I am writing so hard for Alexis Michelle right now. Her brain is huge.

It's so big. Okay, here is my Alexis Michelle. So when this podcast plays, things will have happened and I'm sure she will be even worse than what we're currently talking about. And I can't wait. but what has just happened for us is she unprompted on stage is just like I just want to say that I am so sorry for going along with this shit idea that was absolutely not mine but I am going to be taking responsibility for the fact that this is not my fault. And I'm like, you are incredible beyond every season. You are perfect. You are perfect. Don't

have a fucking change. In Untucked, the first Untucked where, spoiler, Monica Beverly Hills goes home first, where Monica is crying about the fact that she's probably going to go home. And then Alexis Michelle starts crying and and goes i just didn't know how you girls were going to um uh accept me and it turns out that you did i was like we have to have her on every season this is iconic behavior oh she deserves a fucking pulitzer like this woman is doing all of the heavy lifting upon her shoulders i i am a let's stand till the day i die now same i am so happy same so happy love her also people thought mistress was a bully mistress was fun mistress was fun and honestly i met my mistress in real life and two of my friends are very close friends of mistress and from what

i've heard that was her being nice that was her on her best behavior the entire season like oh that brings me joy i'm obsessed with her she rocks she is um somebody of just like unbridled evil like it just like courses through her. And I find that so entertaining and lovely. And then she's also just like a killer drag queen. Like it's the perfect package. It's the perfect package. I love her so much.

Oh, drag is just so fun. Drag is so fun. And I think we do need to honor like the actual things that happen in the drag world outside of television. And there is always a spot on cast for somebody who is just. Chaotically evil is usually usually reserved for a beautiful trans woman. Just like she's allowed the room to play mental warfare with every other girl in the room and i think that needs to be represented on television and by that i mean we need to have gia gunn in the work room for every episode gia gunn is so funny i adore her she comes in guns a-blazing and literally, truly,

simply doesn't give a shit about anybody and will say anything. Oh, there's room for everybody. I love her. Yeah, you both have the same fucked up nose. Oh my God. Incredible.

Perfect. Jim, you're the president for sure. Oh, I love it. Bosco, I have to ask you. Please do. Do you have any advice for me, a single woman or other single people out there on how to gather someone to love them? love them i feel like i'm speaking from place of intense privilege because as we've talked about i did no work and it was handed to me but i have found that i've never had anything fruitful come from like the dating apps or or actively seeking things out

or actively like, I'm on a hunt to find myself a partner. The two main relationships that I've been in that I've been successful were just things that happen by being surrounded by people who love what I do and can appreciate who I am. And I just, for me, what, and like, I was definitely a late bloomer.

I found like my best relationships just by living my life as fully as I could. And that attracted people to me. So be yourself. Believe in yourself. If you can dream it, you can achieve it. Women are possible of anything they set their minds to. This I love. Okay. Here's another question. You worked at a barista at Broadcast Coffee Roasters. Did you ever? What is your assistant's name?indsey lindsey is outside my front door right now listening in she is doing on the ground interviews with my neighbors she dug up my dead childhood dog to check the name tag you already knew where my name came from lindsey needs to be

stopped lindsey is a madman and I'm putting out a warrant. There's going to be a restraining order against your ass, Lindsay. I'm so scared right now. Did you ever like flirt with customers and maybe go on a date with one? I did have,

we, in the barista world, everybody kind of has their customers where like that person will come up and usually like with a barista world, everybody kind of has their customers where that person will come up. And usually, with a barista situation, especially in smaller cafes where you're more cafe, cafe, like Brooklyn Cafe or Seattle Cafe, San Francisco Cafe situation, there's only three to four people that are working at any given time. So everybody knows kind of everything about the other people you're working with. So you usually know each other's customers. And then we would have like a code where it'd be like, hey, can I borrow a pen? And that means that I want to slip onto cash register so I can talk to my customer situation. I never like went out with anybody, but I had like

a greatest hits of like four dudes that I would go out of my way to just chat with. I don't care if the line was out the door. We will be having a conversation with these men. Yeah. And they always look like really tired, worn out metal heads. And I love that for me. I love that, too. It's like you got to have a type. Is that what your current boyfriend looks like? Like a tired, worn out metal head? Absolutely not. I had a type for a very long time. That was like my greatest hit. and then my boyfriend stuck in and completely deviated my boyfriend is kind of a cowboy-esque dude he has a horse a horse uh-huh and he was like this it's on the research yeah lindsey's just like and their names were ted and fred weren't they weren't they yeah we talked to ted yesterday, and he says you're a bad horse mom. I don't know the horse's name,

but I know that your boyfriend and his horse live in Seattle, which makes you not want to leave. But other cities you could see yourself are San Francisco or Chicago, but not L.A. or New York City. Where are you calling this from? Does Gene do this for everyone? are you doing background security checks on all of your guests she truly yeah i asked for um i just call them one pages but sometimes they're two three pages

and she gives me so much information she's great i'm so scared i'm so scared do you want to know what else i i Yeah, please give me like what is this one sheet? What's the what's my fucking rap at this point? Okay. Some of your celebrity crushes include Paul Hollywood from the Great British Bake Off. That is factual and I will yes. And Matt Berry from What We Do in the Shadows. That is very true. That is very true. And I stand by both of those things. Do you know who Matt Berry is? I do. He's very, very adorable.

I'm obsessed with him. So funny. If you make me laugh, you are like so good. You are so good. You are so good in my book. I do love humor. I do love humor. And then i do kind of love um

pudgy boys with a cute face that's usually like my go-to is that what your boyfriend looks like it is now investment you worked hard for it wait what's that horse's name? His name is Ted. That's a great name for a horse. Isn't it? Isn't it? I love animals with just normal human names. Honestly, yeah, this is my cat, Susan. It tickles me pink.

This is my rabbit, Carl. It's so funny to me. George! Come on, George! Yeah, Ted the horse. He is a gorgeous, very, very sweet horse. He doesn't live in Seattle, Seattle. He lives in essentially like a horse farm, like 45 minutes away. So does he like, okay, I'm not a horse girl, nor have I really interacted with a lot of horses.

So he, Ted lives with other horses at a horse farm and then hangs out with like, someone takes care of him during the day and then you guys go visit Ted? Basically, it's a little bit more intensive on Blake, my boyfriend's part. Cause like Blake goes out almost every single day to like exercise Ted and brush Ted and ride Ted

and like takes care of him health-wise stuff. But he does what's called boarding his horse, where they have him set up in a pasture and they feed him at night and make sure that he's doing good while Blake's not there. Because Blake used to live out in the country, and during that time

he had Ted to himself. Ted lived with Blake. But Blake got a job in um medicine here in seattle so he had to move into town and seattle does not have a lot of room for horses i would imagine not it's the big city there's a space needle exactly it's huge well bosco we've neared the end um we are at the end do you oh wait no i usually ask everybody this i'm bad i've missed it like three or four times but would you date me ah i'm currently taken so no all right it's all right would you date me absolutely i think you're adorable and fun and

nice oh my god well now i'm a fucking douchebag, aren't I? That sucks. Yeah, made you feel bad, didn't I? Well, I kind of ruined it. Yeah, you sure did. You sure did. Is there anything that you want to promote? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when this comes out, I believe I will be on the road for Work the World, which will be coming to a city near you. And then I hope I'm allowed to talk about this by that point, but I'll be joining the Vegas show at the end of July. Yes.

So if you want to come to Dave and Buster's The City, come to Vegas and you can come see me at my show. Also, what are your socials that people can follow you on? You can follow me at hereisbosco for all the social medias. I don't really use my TikTok unless somebody is paying me to use it. So Twitter and Instagram mainly. I love it. And if you loved this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you can like it, you can rate it, you can subscribe on iTunes or whatever, Spotify.

I don't know. But if you write me something nasty hitting on me, I am running low on these. So please email them to why won't you date me podcast at gmail.com. Marissa Mars, my producer reads them. So no dick pics or pussy pics or butthole pics. But if you would like to set a picture of your finger, you can. This person said, hello, Nicole, if we were together, I would take you to my home of the Scottish Islands, where I would allow us to saunter around the hills naked.

I would watch as I see your tits fly and the farmers watch on in envy as I'm the only one they desire only for you to shadow it. After I take you into a boffy, a traditional home where I would whisper Gaelic, oh, Gaelic, in your ears while feeding you black pudding and haggis,

which I consider a local delicacy if it weren't for your pussy. And then after us rolling around in the heather fields, I would sniff the island delicacies off of you before treating you to the night of your life followed by an abundance of whiskey and pussy squirt mixed together in a cocktail then we will watch the northern lights as you delete duolingo off your phone as you discover the scottish dialect is all you need and then they wrote something i think in the Scottish dialect. I don't know how to say that. Oh my God. Okay. So I guess the question, would you date them? How does that sound? Honestly, I would at least go to the

Scottish islands and see if things worked out. I would like, I, I, Lauren Chaney has such a hot voice to me. I love a Scottish voice. Absolutely. I know it's a bad Scottish accent, but you know. It's kind of tricky to actually, for sure, for sure. Yeah, it is a really, really hot accent. Yeah, I would go. I could do it. Yeah, why not?

Why not? Let's get into it. Thank you, Pascal. Of course, Nicole. Thank you for having me. Okay, bye-bye. Okay, bye. Bye.

Why Won't You Date Me with Nicole Byer is produced by me, Mars. It's executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, with talent bookings by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Maddie Auden. Got a question, crazy dating story, or a dirty message for Nicole?

Write it to whywontyoudatemepodcast at gmail.com for a chance to have it featured on a future episode. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Bye-bye. This has been a Team Coco production.