Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Caught in the Act (w/ Jiggly Caliente)

Episode Date: December 11, 2020

Drag queen and actress Jiggly Caliente (RuPaul's Drag Race S4, Broad City) joins Nicole to discuss sex work, walking in on friends or family members having sex, "Dick on-demand boys", and how much sex freakiness should you share with your partner? Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co. Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter: @nicolebyer Instagram: @nicolebyer Facebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedy Buy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964 Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me of Why Won't You Date Me? The podcaster Mina Kohlbauer tries to figure out how I'm still single, even though you could steal my glasses and my contacts and let me be a non-seeing bitch in this world. I would still date you. My guest today, you've seen her on RuPaul's Drag Race. You've seen her on Pose. You've seen her on Broad Cityul's drag race you've seen her on pose you've seen her on broad city playing house search party manila luzon's hot couture it's jiggly caliente what's up what's up nico hi hey hey hey hi so on your imdb it doesn't say Jiggly Caliente. It says Bianca Castro. Yes. Is that your acting name? That's my now name.

Yes. And my acting name. Yes. So Jiggly is your stage name when you're doing drag. Bianca is your name name? Yes. Now, okay. I get it.

What a cute name. Bianca. My mom was going to give me Bianca anyway, had I been born the right way. Since God wanted to play games with me. I was like like you know what I'm gonna make your life a little bit more difficult my name had I been born a boy would have been Christopher Andrew why did you ever ask why well my parents did a weird thing where my first name is a name that they like so So they liked Nicole. Michelle is my aunt's middle name.

My sister is Catherine. And then her middle name is my great-great-grandmother. And then Christopher is just a name. Andrew is my uncle's name. Okay. My mom was so into, like, romance novels when I was, like, before I was born. So, like, when she would commute to work and stuff, she would read these novels. So, like, when she would commute to work and stuff, she would read these novels.

And she said that she was so intrigued by the bad guy and the bad girl of the book that she named me either one. And my brother ended up being the good boy's name. And if he had born a girl, he would have had the girl's name. I like that. I think that's fun. It's cute. But I was just like, that sounds so tacky i don't think it sounds tacky i like it i mean how like how do you explain that to people where'd you get your name my mom was reading under a romance novel i like it i think it's cute and

i think it's unique it's better than like i don't know my name's kaylee because my mom wanted to make the whitest name possible i'm kaylee i don't know oh name's kaylee because my mom wanted to make the widest name possible i'm kaylee i don't know oh my god i i think it's i think it's interesting when like uh a name comes from somewhere so yeah my dear friend sashir her name is from star trek which is i think so silly and so fun see but that at least it's something cool like Star Trek. A romance novel is cool. Have you ever read one? Of course I've read one. I read them in my youth. I used to read Danielle Steele books.

Judy Blume had some adult ones that I read as a kid. This one, Summer Sisters, I really loved it. Let's see, what other romance novels? I don't know if you can call bc andrews books romance because like sisters be fucking day brothers so yeah no that's not romantic uh julie how are you i'm oh wait do you prefer me to call you bianca or jiggly either or people know me as jiggly so i don't. Like, I never take that into offense because that's how I was introduced to the public eye.

So I don't take, like, it is what it is. That's like somebody get, like, Rihanna getting mad if somebody calls her Rihanna instead of her government name. Robin. Robin Fenton. You know what I mean? So, like, yeah, I'm cool with being called Jiggly or Bianca. Either one.

Okay. We met years and years and years and years and years ago. I don't even know if you remember this. I know I've mentioned it to you before, but you used to do this show called, oh my God, what the fuck was it called? It's a drag competition. Yes. It was at an Indian restaurant.

Yes, yes, Purnima. It was in the back room and that was like not my first introduction to drag but like it was one of the first ones and it was so fun because like i got to work it and i got to see the girls stomping through this indian restaurant as people were trying to have like a traditional indian dinner and they were like the fuck uh but you were so good you were so great it was like you logan hardcore uh sweetie hosted it yes and i can't those those are the three that stick out right now so then i know exactly what night you're talking about because i was only booked with logan once oh okay so i know that night that was a Beyonce night. Yes.

Yes. Yes. I fully fucking remember. You did. You fucking killed. Oh, that's so funny. I did Ring the Alarm. Uh-huh.

And I did Single Ladies. Mm-hmm. And I think you were wearing a little leotard for Single Ladies. I did the look from the video. Yes. Oh, my God. And same with Ring the Alarm. I did the V look from the video yes oh my god and same with ring the alarm i did the vma look with the ponytail yeah i was that that was before drag race yes way before yes yes okay because i couldn't remember if i like saw you on drag race and then saw you in person or saw you in person then on drag race yes that's definitely how it went

yeah oh let me ask you so dating oh actually no let's not get to dating yet let's uh let's start let's start at the very beginning how did you get into drag and how did you discover or decide on your aesthetic okay so drag literally fell onto my laps because i have a loud ass mouth i went to a drag competition like i went to a club in new york called the web and we were watching like an amateur night it was like it's like a talent show it was like everybody was doing something there was two drag queens and one live singer the two drag queens were horrible mainly one of them was doing janet jackson and janet jack Jackson to me is like the icon of all icons like she is like she can do no wrong so this chick was doing Janet Jackson doesn't really matter the choreography

was all off she was wearing an orange hoodie when Janet was wearing a red one so I was like okay this bitch is just all raw I'm over it and then I was like, I was one of those loud ass kids. I'm also the kind of bitch that talks during a movie. So I was like, ooh, this bitch is whack. I was talking so much shit. So the host clocked me. It was like, well, if you could do better, come here next month and do this. I was like, bet. You know better come here next month and do this i was like

bet you know how new york girls are like oh okay okay i got you bitch i'll do it and it was also around the time like halloween was coming around the corner so i was like you know what that's fine because then i could do two birds one stone do this drag thing and then still have a thing to do and i was going to fit at the time so i was like oh good so i could still do like some a little drag thing for like halloween so i had one of the girls make a costume for me i ended up doing i did janet and i did doesn't really matter the right way with the dance break. And I won. Well, no, I was tying.

I tied with some girl. And then we had to lip sync for our lives before lip sync for your life was a thing. But then we had to do Honey by fucking Mariah Carey. And I was like, oh, God. I was like, so I was like being stupid dancing my ass off doing choreography that had nothing choreography for honey but and i won so it just kind of and then all of a sudden like i started doing it like going out you know hanging out like going to class in drag oh i mean it's always been a thing for me i've always dressed up and then later down those like figuring out down the line

is i found who i am through drag and through always dressing up it was like i loved putting it on hated taking it off yeah and then there was just more there was other things that was just like working around to it so that's how i found drag and then i just started competing and in new york just all those competitions everything star search cattle call with peppermint everything what's cattle call cattle call was a therapy hosted by peppermint and every six months she would do like the like a big um competition and it would it'd be it was like a thousand dollars and you win a virgin mobile phone oh that's the actual prize a thousand dollars they give you money for the phone plan well it was like a prepay but it's something it's still like a cute phone and you know at that time like 2000s, like having an unlimited plan wasn't a thing.

You had the minutes or like a prepay. So I was like, hey, that's cool with me because I was living off my beeper. I literally had a beeper till 2006. That's funny. That's so fucking funny. So I was like, yeah, I was cool. I wanted a beeper so bad and my mother would not get me one. I wanted a purple, one of them clear purple beepers.

And she was like, no, you're not a doctor. Who's beeping you? Oh, my mom would tell me, be like, why? Were you a hooker or you're a drug dealer? You don't need one. There's only three people that need them. Hookers, drug dealers, and doctors. You don't need them.

And she was like, you're neither one of those three. And I'm going, hmm. You're like, hmm, maybe I be hooking? No kidding. doctors you don't mean and she was like you're neither one of those three and i'm going you're like maybe i'd be hooking no kidding i'm kidding i would i at one point had a yellow one i feel like that was like a friend of a friend was like getting rid of it and i like couldn't figure it out it was like whatever so let me ask about dating let's get into that okay are you currently single or are you dating somebody yeah i've been single now for a year okay are you on the apps and whatnot oh yeah fully oh yeah oh yeah fully right, the people listening can't see this,

but Jiggly is, I can only see her from the nose up. She, and then also it is underneath, so I'm looking, it's like I'm two feet tall looking up at her, and you look like a Pokemon. I can't, do you ever? Jinx. I look like Jinx right now. Is it Jinx?

Is that the one in a dress? Yes, if I had blonde hair, I would definitely look like Jinx right now. Is it Jinx? Is that the one in a dress? Yes. If I had blonde hair, I would definitely look like Jinx right now. Yes, you do. You look like Jinx. At least I'm still on brand. I'm still on brand. It's still Pokemon.

I fucking love it. How long was your relationship before being single? So I was dating a guy for about a year prior to being single now for a year. Oh, all right. Has the pandemic like affected your singleness?

It's hard. I mean, I mean, I'm scared to like hook up with anyone, that's for sure. Because it's like, look, the other thing a condom can fix and some prep.

This one, bitch. Ain't nobody trying to get covid dick yes that's what i was feeling up until like two three weeks ago i was like you know what i think i'm gonna fuck somebody with a mask on i think this is what i see for myself i am that kind of girl that's what i'm doing let's do it and now i have a broken ankle and i can't go anywhere and uh i think that's the lord they can come to you they can come to me but i live with a roommate and a nice man who lives with me who already do so much for me i think it would be like a real slap in the face to be like can you let in this trick and also give me my medicine? Yeah, maybe not.

I mean, right now I live with my brother, so I don't do anything really at home either because I just think it's weird. It is weird, and I think it's rude. Yeah, like when I'm locked up in a hotel, I can do that. Or like when I'm in LA, I usually get an Airbnb or at a hotel, I can do that. Or like when I'm in LA, I usually like get an Airbnb or at a hotel. So it's different.

And, you know, sometimes I'm in LA for like weeks at a time. So like I'll be at an Airbnb chilling, like they get us my place. And I'm like, yeah, sure. Go ahead. Bang me out. Bang me out. Yeah, sure. Whatever.

Bang me out. Yeah. Like I was like like i don't care but like when it's here in new york it's different because i live with my brother and first of all it's my younger brother so it's like like i don't want to hear him doing stuff he doesn't want to hear me doing stuff definitely not a cool situation so you know like plus it's also our mom's older like our mom owned this apartment so before she passed it was like this was her apartment so we're like yeah we don't know she's around so we're like yeah we're not trying to do that here either yeah i don't think i could ever fuck in my parents house like the old house that they had as an adult i feel like it would be i don't know how people do that they like invite their like significant other home with them for like thanksgiving or christmas and they'd be like

fucking in a bedroom and i'm like that's to me is so disrespectful and i could never it's disrespectful and i think it's weird because it's like dude you know like you know you what your house is like you know those walls are thin like why would you want to put other people through that i can't yeah i've walked in on friends having sex more times than I care to talk about. And it's always jarring. I'm still scarred for life. When I was about, my brother was 16. I was 18.

I walked in on him getting head. I screamed so loud. I was not ready for that that's my younger brother to me he always I always tell my brother he hates it but to me no matter how old he gets he still looks like that

six year old little kid to me he's never aged from that so I'm always protective of my brother so I don't want him near little hoochies but i like so like seeing that i was like i can't like that was too much i once had a friend walk in on me giving someone head in a bathroom i think i've told this on the podcast before i wasn't on my knees i was standing just bent over sucking this man's dick and my friend walked in

and went oh wait what and then left she was truly like why aren't you doing it the way that uh normal people do it oh boy i miss living with jenny she's seen so much of me i don't mind friends catching me in the act i don't think I've ever had an issue with that. It's like, it's just family members, yeah. Like, that's just, yeah. My friends are like my chosen family. Like, I don't give a shit. Manila could catch me sucking dick, I wouldn't care.

I'd be like, I'm like, girl, leave. So, after the show, after Drag Race, because I feel like that's where the world got to see you, was dating different? Definitely. It has definitely changed because it's like, well, kind of, sort of, not really. Because I'm trans and I don't get fan dick. I don't ever get like guys that are into me because they saw me from RuPaul's Drag Race you know what I mean

like I get I just get guys that are into trans girls or girls like me or like Asian girls or whatever and I'm a triple threat I'm Asian plus size and I'm trans bitch I'm getting three kinds of fetishes you got them all yeah you're the ultimate fantasy

come on so like I never i've never had an issue dating or like or like cooking up but it's definitely weird when you're at a dating app and then somebody all of a sudden sends you a text message that says, may I call you Jiggly? That's kind of weird. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, dude, this is Tinder. What the fuck? Huh? Does that happen a lot? Because that's like a very iconic thing that Ru says.

Yeah, on Tinder, definitely. And on Grindr. If they figure out, because my Grindr is a little bit more nondescript. Mm-hmm. My Tinder profile and my Plenty of Fish profile is my face. Tinder, I'm a little bit more inconspicuous. I love it.

I love it. I love it. Yeah, I mean, my profiles aren't inconspicuous. They're just me. And I do, like, full body. I do, you know, face shots or whatever. Yeah, but that's dangerous. Huh? Well, see, like, on Tinder, I have like full body. I do, you know, face shots or whatever. Yeah, but that's dangerous. Huh?

Well, see, you like it's on Tinder. I have all those shots, too. It's just it's just on Grindr that I'm like, no. Well, Grindr is a little intense, I think. Oh, it is. I wish there was a straight people Grindr there isn't it's called tinder no it's not tinder doesn't tell you by the foot where somebody's at oh well yeah well um i watched the most insane thing on friday so i don't know if you do you know meatball yes so i'm slowly

trying to make meatball into my best friend and uh i told her i was like i won't stop until we're besties but she and dipper host this podcast and they did a like a live virtual episode where they had a man get fisted on this zoom and he was just answering questions while getting fisted and i was like what kind of i don't not like i'm judging him i'm just like i can't i don't see that i am not that sort of girl like i couldn't i as you are trying to clutch your pearls that are non-existent right now what is going on i mean don't get me wrong there there are things that kind of like freak me out. Not freak me out, but I'm kind of like, okay, that's a lot. But I'm also that kind of girl that's like, I've done a lot of, I've done a lot in my time.

Like, like, plus doing sex work also kind of like, you know, that expanded a lot of my horizon. I had to. It was like, well, shit, that was going to get me paid. So, okay, I'll do it. I had to. It was like, well, shit, that was going to get me paid. So, okay, I'll do it. I feel like that's how a lot of people fall into sex work and people don't realize that.

It's a lot of times it's not like I'm making this choice to do it. It's just like, well, I need the money. And you said something, so I'll go off and do it. I was like, you want to pay me? Okay, sure. I mean, I kind of wish I still had some of those contacts to this day so I could just be like, hey. Mainly during this pandemic, I'd be like,

you know, like, hey, why not? Because a lot of them are just like a lot. Well, no, not a lot. But there's a few clients that were just like easy. You know, like either the quick ones, like quick and nut ones. Those are the best because i wasn't uh by the hour girl i was by the session girl oh okay and to me a session was if

you nut you're done yeah i don't gotta do anything else goodbye yeah yeah and it's like a those some of those guys that are like quick i was like oh thank you jesus i have a friend who she's a sex worker and she gets flown all over the country to like you know bop in bop out make people come whatever and then every now and again she'll post a picture of her like in a target uniform and i'm like why why and i think her the process she goes through she's like well i'll just get a legit job for a little bit. And then she's like, it's not paying me anything. Fuck this.

It's so wild that minimum wage is so low. It is. I mean, I don't know. I think sex work should be legalized or decriminalized. It definitely should be decriminalized and should just be legalized. Because if it's done, I'll be honest, there's a lot of sex workers like that there's a process to this like a lot of them do it safely a lot do it you know

so it's not like it's just willy-nilly and like yeah just go ahead and do me wrong no because it's just that's just not how it works first of all there's like there's rules to this situation because you one you don't want to get sick and you know and granted it's not a death sentence that it was as it was before but still it's like there's still that stigma there's still taboo well if i can avoid it why wouldn't i exactly and and a lot of a lot of sex workers do take it very, very seriously. And like, OK, you know, like they don't play. They don't, you know. But it is also different now than it was a couple of years ago where Craigslist and Backpage was a thing. Now it's like they just cracked down so hard on it.

Like, God damn it. Yeah, I just for me personally, i'm just like i i think whatever you do to make your money is fine i just wish there was like more of a paper trail so it's like i mean i think most sex workers wanted to be decriminalized not legalized because then when you leave i can't remember what the argument is against legalizing it but i just wish that then you get taxed well i don't mind if sex workers get taxed because it's like i get taxed to or people who work at target get taxed or whatever so it's like why not create a paper trail to keep people safe like if they're paying taxes i know where you are

you know or like it is it's a tricky situation it's also the oldest profession in the world truly you know like every time somebody tells me they're like yeah but is it really a job i'm like bitch it's the oldest job in the world yes i've said it before on this podcast i'm like y'all do it for free the people who monetize it are smart like yeah on my instagram someone i like posted about my live episode with naomi and they were like you need to stop begging it's sad this that and the other and I was like is it sad that I've monetized a thing that makes me sad like I don't want to be single but I've monetized it so like instead of just moping around my house about it

like I now have a job where I talk about it so I was like you're interested like it's interesting that like people don't see the opposite side of things. It's like, oh, you look down on the sex worker and it's like, well, she's getting paid for doing something that you do for free and like are probably bad at. There was a girl, a queen, actually, that used to talk so low of all the girls that work on the side outside of just drag. Mainly the girls that have sex work. work on the side outside of just drag meaning the girls have sex work and i was like in my head i'm going yeah bitch we get paid to suck dick you're doing that shit for free to a guy that doesn't give a shit about you i'm like there's who's winning at the end bitch i am because i'm collecting yes i fully i fully believe that he gets what he wants. I get what I want.

We good. Yes. And you, you're losing in the situation because he's not even taking your phone number. So you suck his dick in the corner. And now he walked away. And you're there left with cum in your mouth and no money. That's very funny. You're left with cum in your mouth and no money that's very funny your loved one come in your mouth and no money i just wish more people would just like chill out and it's like if it doesn't affect you

why are you worried about it yeah i'm also like there's some people who say well because a lot of those men are like men who are married and are involved. I mean, that's a tricky situation on its own because it's like we don't know that they're married. We're not walking into the situation knowing they're married. A lot of them take their rings off. There's some that are ballsy and just don't care. But wouldn't it be nice to be like okay i might be married but i took off my ring but here are my papers that say that i'm you know

i've been tested recently and i'm negative on everything so we can like safely play or whatever like wouldn't that be nice that would be an ideal word that would be very very nice but even in uh in this world that people aren't hooking up for monetary reasons they could they still easily lie about their status it's like well it's like yeah everything gets a little muddy i'm so horny even talking about this i'm just like, it'd be so nice to have a dick near me. I like dick on demand boys. Those are my favorite. What is a dick on demand boy? So I have a rotation of five guys on my phone that I can call when I'm in the mood.

And it's like, we can do it. Either it's in their car or a hotel, whatever. But it's like, if one doesn't answer, I'll get the next one. If that one doesn't pick up, the other one does. Bitch, I am frustrated by the time I get to the fourth one. Like, God forbid they're all unavailable. And all of us have an understanding where if we're in a relationship or whatever, like we're in a situation where we don't want to play because of something we just let each other know but like

yeah we're like the break glass in just in case that's nice situation oh my god i wish and we have an understanding and the thing is like and that's also guys i wouldn't necessarily date like i'll hook up with them because the dick is right. Yes. But you're like, I don't know if you're relationship material. Oh, definitely not. No, not after the stuff we've done. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Like, so there's guys that I would play with if I was in a relationship, but there's things that I kind of don't want to, like, there's the nasty stuff you don't want to do with somebody you're in, like, you know. Like what? Like, i wouldn't

get gang bang with like with a guy that i'm in love with you know what i mean like because i don't want him looking at me like he just passed me around like a blunt to all his friends because he's gonna look at you some type of way and i just i can't i can't do that i guess but like i feel like i'd want to share something like that with the person i love i could i want to actually maybe not maybe not yeah see that's what i'm saying to to an extent you want to share your freakiness but not all of it so that's why i'm happy that i've gotten it all out of my system so that i can just have vanilla sex for the rest of my life. Okay, real quick, we got to take a break. And we're back.

So, Jiggly, what are you looking for in a relationship? What is your type of man? Okay, he has to at least be six feet tall. Okay. I would prefer him to be beefy okay not necessarily like muscular but i would like him to be like big big i'm a big girl i want a guy that's gonna like not make me look big i want to look petite next to you okay i'm five i mean i'm already five foot four but i am but since I am a plus-size girl, I still want a guy to make me not look big. So, the ideal guy would look like Brutus or the Hulk.

Okay, I love how you were like, beefy, but not really that beefy or muscular, the Hulk. I said, okay, or Brutus. Who's Brutus? Brutus from Popeye. I don't know or Brutus. Who's Brutus? Brutus from like Popeye. I don't know who Brutus is. He's like the bad guy. He's kind of chubby. Okay, I gotta look him up.

Brutus, Popeye. Oh, it came right up. My phone's listening to me. Oh, okay. He can get it. Yeah. So I was like, I just want like a big beefy dude. Okay.

All right. What kind of job would you want him to have? So I would want him to have a regular job. But I want him to be able to understand. Actually, you know, ideally I would want him to know about the entertainment industry just so he can understand what I have to go through. Because that inevitably ruined my last relationship because he just didn't get it. He didn't get Jiggly and he didn't get like me working as an actress and like the schedule of that. Yeah.

I mean, that shit is hard to make somebody understand if they don't inherently get it. It's like, yeah, my hours are so long. And then my time, my downtime is incredibly short so it's like we have to work it out there was one week during pose that we filmed like 12 hour days so i was like oh i need to just sleep on my day off like i'm sorry i'm tired because it's a lot of like rush and wait rushing and waiting so it's like they don't understand how like he didn't understand how tiring that could be and then like with my drag race stuff like he doesn't understand that sometimes i don't get the confirmation that i'm booked the gig till a week

before uh-huh or god forbid i have to take somebody's spot on a tour last minute because i'm the understudy and i fly out the day of it's sporadic but it's also like beautiful because the pay is great so yeah the pay is great and then also it's like you're doing something you love doing i love yeah yeah i feel the same way when I'm with somebody where I sometimes have to say out loud. It's like, I made time to see you. I flew back to L.A. for two days when I could have stayed on the East Coast to see you. I'm flying out, leaving your house at 6 a.m. to go back to touring or whatever I have to do. And it's like, I don't need a thank you.

I just need you to appreciate it a little bit and understand it's a sacrifice yeah and like talk to me like tell me like if i say i really like you or whatever then like i need you to open your mouth and be like i agree or like tell me you're not into me so i can stop bending over backwards for you. Exactly. And like the last guy, I was just like, I mean, granted, I've also made mistakes in the relationship, but it's like his lack of understanding of what I do frustrated me. And on top of that, it was like, he got jealous over a music video that I filmed for content.

And it was like, dude, he's gay. He wants nothing to do with me. Like gay men don't want trans women. Yeah, that, I mean, that's a wild thing to get jealous about. I don't, but people get so jealous over the dumbest shit. I mean, I would be honest, like Ken is a gorgeous guy oh wait is this the video of you on the beach yes that's a sexy fucking video ah okay that was the point and i was like

because i was like so the point of that music video to me was one i wanted to show them the newer me i'm more adult version of me because like i what, what the perception of me is from drag race. And I wanted to show people that I'm growing up. I'm grown up. I have lost weight. I wanted to just show them that like this brand new version of me. And the only way I could have done that was doing this music video of, uh,

what's it? I forgot the name of the song it's not even mine so it's okay oh it's not yours oh okay i was like girl you can't you can't put on a song and then forget it but yeah like it was it was supposed to be sexy wicked games there you go wicked games um and i wanted to do just a beautiful video and like brad did such an amazing job of casting because i wasn't there to look for guys i wasn't in la i told him i only had a few days prior to drag con to film something he goes we can do it in a day i was like okay great and i left for drag con and then the day like a couple days before we filmed the video and it looked great and i was like and i only saw a picture of ken i didn't even see

like i didn't like stalk him on Instagram yet. I did after. Like, because I was like, wow, he's hot. Uh-huh. And, like, his pictures did him no justice. Because I was like, damn, this boy's fun. Like, it was one of those guys that you're like, oh, fuck, why are you gay? Uh-huh.

Damn it. Like, why do the gay guys always get the hot ones yeah he was hot very very hot so your boyfriend at the time was jealous he got so jealous he wouldn't let it go he like he harbored it for like months because that happened september and then like when I left in October to do something he was he brought it up again and I was like why I was like I'm like what do you want me to do call Ken for Ken to tell you he's gay he wants nothing to do with me because like like johnny would also like he followed me on instagram so he saw like comments that would be made and then ken playfully would be like oh you're like thanks for a great time gorgeous like whatever but he like it was just that like dude yeah i mean it's interesting when people get jealous because sometimes I feel like something else might be wrong and then they're just like using the jealousy as like a means to like an end, if you will.

But yeah, like that's just that's just bullshit that you shouldn't have to deal with. I mean, I get it. I also didn't help the situation because I would be like i was like i could have any fucking guy i want do you not understand that oh no i because it's so annoying and we're like when i get mad i'm mad so i just say whatever i want and it's like i forget that sometimes being as blunt as i am can cause me issues and yeah and i was just like dude this is tv pussy are you crazy there's hot guys around me all the fucking time this is tv pussy is very funny that's true though it's like i'm like i'm in an industry where there's a lot of good-looking people in the nightlife in nightlife and in

television so i'm like dude what do you think yeah you just have to be like confident and secure in yourself that's what i always tell i'm like at the end of the day you're the first person i talk to in the morning you're the last person i text at the night like even when i'm out of town i was like and how we started how we started was on plenty of fish he her like not harass me but he was like kind of like going after you he went after me for like a couple months and then like I really paid attention to him when I was in Europe because at the end of the night before I fall asleep I kind of was just like I I don't know it felt nice that somebody desired me while

i was away stuck on a tour with a bunch of queens and you know like it's not like i could play with myself it's like well shit i'm like in a tour bus so like the sweet comment and the sweet conversation is what kind of like got me through that month but then it was like and then we met it was beautiful and everything was fine the only thing i should have really been honest with him about was i should have been honest about jiggly he knew that i was an actress but he didn't know about jiggly oh wow so how long did you keep that a secret or not a secret but like how long did you keep that a secret? Or not a secret, but like, how long did you not tell him about Jiggly? Three months. Wow. And I feel like Jiggly is such a huge part of you.

Exactly. But the thing was, it was like, and the only reason why is because he actually Googled my name. And then because like, so we would go on dates, specifically our first date alone. There was two people that stopped me and to take a picture with me, to ask to take a picture with me. And we were at Dave and Buster's. Wait, your first date was at Dave and Buster's? Yes.

It was so cool. I liked it. That's perfect. I had a birthday party at Dave and Buster's. I'm fully on board for Dave and Buster's. But see, I like Dave and Buster's because it tells me a lot about the guy. One, if there's people that stop see, I like Dave and Buster's because it tells me a lot about the guy. Mm-hmm. One, if there's people that stop me,

how is he going to react? Two, I want to see if, like, he plays against me, like, how is he going to play? Is he going to be a dick or is he going to be...

Playful. And, yeah. And plus, I'm also the kind of girl that I look at a guy, like, how much he tips during a date tells me a lot.

Oh yeah. If you don't tip, I don't think I could date you. Oh, hell no. No, because I, one,

I thrive off like tips when I perform. And so like, and also just like these people are doing a service like, and if they do a good service, you should tip them accordingly so yeah that tells me a lot about a guy like so that's why dave and busters for me is always like a perfect date and it's also because it's also not like super like buttoned up and like you don't have to get like fully not like that yeah like i i'll go and, like, I'll be in comfortable, like, jeans, Timberlands.

You know what I mean? Like, I'll go. She's a New York girl. Oh, she's definitely jeans, Timberlands, a bubble coat, and door knockers. So, yeah. That was my fucking look in New York. I had this brown, baby-fat bubble coat that I would wear with these baby fat jeans and i tuck them into my tims and i be stomping around town i miss that see why you had to move to la

but i think even if i moved to la i would that would still be my uniform yeah but you'd be too hot in a coat well i guess now not maybe not but i'd definitely be jeans and tims that's not stopping me I just bought a new pair and I'm really excited about them I'm like I'm gonna wear them again but like that's why

I think like a date like that it's also like cool you don't have to get like you know cause sometimes if you go to like a movie you don't get to talk mhm

at least you get to talk when you're in a restaurant like that you can have a fun conversation and it's not there's no what's it called this um i feel like you're not stressed like there's like there's no there's no pressure

it's like a very low pressure situation it's a chill situation i don't go on like a first date to the movies but like a third or fourth, I will go to the movies and then like have a bar to go to after. So it's like, oh, we have something to talk about. Oh, don't get me wrong. I've definitely used guys to see movies that I want to see. Like that, when I want to go see like a IMAX, Dolby movie.

Oh yeah. You could pay that $20 ticket. Thank you. 20? Sis, where you been? It's $30. Is it really? A Dol20 ticket. Thank you. $20? Sis, where you been? It's $30. Is it really? A ticket is $30.

I don't know what Adobe Theater is, and I don't know what IMAX is. I only saw one movie in IMAX. I think it was IMAX. It was Gravity with Sandra Bullock, and it was too much space. I was surrounded by space. I was like, what is this movie?

Give me something else well i mean yeah but like used to see movies like avengers and fucking wonder woman that's how you want to see those movies johnny was really good though he was really he was a good guy i just wish he would understood more of me we didn't necessarily leave in bad on bad terms, but I mean, cause we're still talking to this day. Yeah. So, I mean,

that's nice. I think that's like, I, I like when people like, I have a friend who was married, they got divorced. He's engaged again. I think she might be engaged again as well.

And they're each other's cheerleaders. Like sometimes on Twitter, they'll like lift each other up and be like, look what she did or look what he did. And I think she might be engaged again as well. And they're each other's cheerleaders. Like sometimes on Twitter, they'll like lift each other up and be like, look what she did or look what he did. And I'm like, this is so healthy and so nice. I like it. I always get so sad when people are like, well, we're done and I fucking hate them. This, that, and the other. It's like, but at some point you love them.

Don't get me wrong. The first two months of us breaking up, I hated him and dogged him out for all i could he was all kind of bastard and dirty it's like i couldn't that poor white man didn't know what the fuck hit him but you got to a point where you were like i appreciate you and i will always love you right yeah because i did i do appreciate the way he treated me and made me feel. He never, it was nice to feel like a regular girl. Aww. Like, I didn't, you know, like, the girl, being the girlfriend that he would pick up on the weekend and I'd stay at his house. Mm-hmm.

And, you know, like, you know, like, I like that. It was nice that I got to experience that in a healthy way. And I didn't feel fetishized. Granted, I was like the second trans girl he's ever dealt with. I was his first trans relationship. But it wasn't like, he never made me feel like I was an experiment or a fetish. So that's why I like I still have respect for him because I was treated with. With kindness.

Well, I mean, that's like so important, you know, like to not feel like a fetish to not feel like like whenever a dude's like it's happened i think maybe once or twice where he's like you're the first black girl i've been with and i'm like oh okay is this like what is that like why did you feel the need to say that yeah you know it's like i didn't need to know please please don't i'll ask if i wanted to know. So, yeah, like, I think that's... See, but I'm a bitch. So when a guy says something stupid like that to me, I'm always like, well, you're the first guy

who had a little dick that I hooked up with, so... So sometimes with being a trans woman, sometimes when guys say shit like that to me, I always feel like, what, you think, like, you're doing me a favor? I'm like no dude at the end of the day i control the situation not you i tell you when this happens so i'm like you know so during the pandemic do you so you don't want to get covid i know that but like after the pandemic

ends like what do you think like you're going to be on the apps are ends like what do you think like you're gonna be on the apps are you like how do you think you're gonna go back now okay i'll be completely honest so since i've been getting like the covid test and i have that um temperature thing i've i've kind of like fooled around. Okay. And actually, I've hooked up with my ex really recently. So you be in these streets doing shit. Okay. I need, well, okay, at least with him, I like, I could pretty much, I know that he hasn't been with anyone. And I haven't been with anyone since either. Well, I haven't been with anyone since either. Well, I haven't been with anyone since February.

Okay. But he hasn't been with anyone since me. At least that's what he says. And he showed me his test and everything. And I'm like, okay, good. But we both got COVID tested. And I was like, all right. And we both got COVID tested.

And I was like, all right. And then, like, because when, like, around October, I came home. I needed to be quarantined. Mm-hmm. So, desperation and, like, hit really hard. So, I was like, oh, shit. It's been months and me and him got to a point where we were having conversations where we didn't end it arguing because like our conversations always started off like okay

we'll start like for a couple months was like it starts off well and then we end up talking about our relationship and we start arguing so around that time we just started to have real conversations like around it happens it started around june and it started to become more not safe. Healthy. We weren't arguing. We weren't like, it didn't seem like there was any animosity. It just seemed like we just missed each other. Do you think you guys are going to get back together?

I have a rule where an ex is an ex for a reason. Okay. But he's making me question that. Oh, I love this. This is like a new phase to your love life. Maybe an ex isn't an ex for a reason. Maybe a reconciliation. But that's, for me, it's a dangerous ground.

Because I hate feeling vulnerable and I hate feeling like I don't control the situation. And usually, that's what I'm used to. I like being in control of the situation. I like being in control of my emotions. So when something like this is coming up, I'm like, fuck, what's going on? Like, fuck, what's going on? And I told him from our first date, I was like, you're going to be bad for fucking business. Because everything he did on our first date that got checked off was like, shit. And it's usually like when I go on a date with a guy, date with a guy all my checklist doesn't get like nothing more than three gets

checked off but my checklist was like he knocked out like ten in one date and I have a weird checklist because it's just like a guy has to be like this a guy has to be

this he has to be this he has this like and he knocked out 10 in one day in a span of a four and a half hour day he knocked out 10 and i didn't even sleep with him on the first day i feel like he didn't get a handy or a blow job i mean i feel like all signs are pointing to you might get back together and i'm excited for this i mean he's gonna have to because like there's things that i'm doing recently like so i recently auditioned for a cw show and a freeform show if i get either one of these i mean well i mean this is the thing that you just have to work on the communication and be like, this is what I love doing. This is what I'm doing.

We have to figure out our schedule together while I figure out the schedule for that. Yeah. Hoping that we can go forward in a different direction, like in a healthier direction. Because at least now he knows all of my, like, not my dirt, but like, I held so much of Jiggly to him that now he knows what Jiggly is. And what Jiggly is to my life. So, you know, it's not just, because granted, I mean, I really should not have just told him. I'm kind of just like an influencer on Instagram and I'm an actress. I didn't tell him about Jiggly. Jiggly, you can't just be lying to people like that.

I didn't know how to explain who Jiggly was because it's always a hard situation to explain drag and being trans as is let alone time to tell that to a guy i'm trying to date so it's like i oh i guess yeah i mean to me transness and drag is intertwined but that's just because i've you know seen a bunch of documentaries and i like you know speak to a lot of people about drag and whatnot but yeah i think it's just i think hiding a part of you a lot of yeah it did cause a huge strain in the relationship because he didn't know for months and then he's trying to figure out what i do and then like he had his own preconceived notions of what what nightlife is and i'm like i was like what studio 54 movie do you think i'm working at i think you should invite him

into that world bring him to a show or like if you can bring him to set bring him to a set i will only bring him to a drag show knowing that I'm the only pretty girl on cast. Bitch. No, he wants you. I refuse. You need to let him into your life. Just in case. Just in case.

Like, I'm not going to have him work, like, see me when Kylie's on stage. Hell no. And he only used to date blonde girls. hell to the no hell yes but he's dating you now all that shit's in the it's in the fucking rearview window i you really gotta let him in that's what i say for this to work you gotta let him in you gotta explain your shit you i i mean i think he would enjoy it he would enjoy because he enjoys you so he's gonna enjoy this part of you yeah and he's also but you know it's also weird he's like low-key conservative that's wild to me not in not in a way as far as in like politically or whatever but like he's also he's that kind of guy who's like so he's just like kind of uh reserved and like pulled back a little

bit like i mean even like when we go on dates there sometimes he's like he'd tell me like jokingly he'd say something he's like your skirt is really short and i'm like yeah it's for you duh like you think i'm wearing this shit for anybody else it's for you motherfucker yeah i think you just gotta i used to tell it was like hello the easier for you to pull this up so you can bang me out. I see a future for you guys, and I'm very excited. Jiggly, we've come to the end. I ask most of my guests this.

I've only missed a couple. But would you date me? You know what? If I was, like, lesbetronic, I definitely would. Do you know how sick that would be? We would be an would be like two tv pussies bitch we could both and we could both watch ourselves on netflix yes we imagine we just like sit around watch each other on netflix and we're like that's all that we do. As we collect those residuals.

I don't get any residuals from Netflix. You must have a better deal than me. Do you have anything you want to promote? Well, I mean, I don't know if I if I land those roles. Yes, please, God, watch me on television again. But if anything, just get a cameo from me or follow me on instagram now tell the people what your instagram is and what the and cameo they can just search jiggly caliente on cameo yes you can just search jiggly caliente on cameo and on instagram i'm jiggly caliente official

there we go and if you like this episode of why won't you date me you can like you can subscribe you can rate it uh and if you send me a nasty come on hitting on me i will read it this person said puss juice margaritas for two just kidding you're so busy let's see uh i want to grab your puss and squeeze out those delicious margarita juices uh and that's it. We can figure out how to make some chilled puss juice margaritas for two. Thank you so much. What a wild thing that you think I have margaritas in my pussy. I assure you, I don't. Okay.

Bye-bye. Love you. Bye. This has been a Team Coco production.