Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Dating a Hollywood Scammer (w/ Bresha Webb)

Episode Date: August 14, 2026

Comedian Bresha Webb (Run the World, Hacks) joins Nicole to share her terrible experience accientally dating a Hollywood scammer. Bresha also shares the story of a guy who paid for their dinner using a coin purse full of laundry quarters, what happens when you livestream a terrible first date on Instagram so your followers can roast the man, and the incredibly romantic 30-day Zoom courtship that led to her marriage. Plus, Nicole and Bresha reminisce about auditioning for SNL together and discuss the unhinged challenges on Love Island that will definitely haunt those contestants forever.Check out Bresha's new special, LOL Live with Bresha Webb, on Hulu or Disney+.WWYDM is hiring a part-time podcasting apprentice! Learn more and apply here.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport this podcast by checking out our sponsors:» Hers: Sponsored by Hers. Visit forhers.com/dateme to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you.» Hinge: Try Hinge’s new feature, Friend’s Take. Send your link to the group chat and let the people who know you best do the talking. hin.ge/WhyWontYouDateMe» Planned Parenthood: Donate to support Planned Parenthood now at plannedparenthood.org/defend» Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/3v6r90n6 #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.» Wayfair: Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home.Check out all of our sponsors and discount codes at wwydm.notion.site/sponsors.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerThis is a Headgum podcast. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description. This is a headgum podcast. I'm heading to San Diego for a wedding this year, and I can't wait to sit by the ocean, soak up the sun and celebrate love. I'm bringing the nice man in my life, and we're traveling with a few friends to make it a whole vacation. When we travel, we know that booking a stay on Airbnb just makes for a better trip.

It's so fun to look at all the cool, unique homes available, and we found this amazing, huge house right across from the beach. It is five bedrooms, a massive backyard with a private pool, a hot tub, and a built-in barbecue. It gives us way more space and more privacy than we could get anywhere else. It is a nice big kitchen, so nobody will have to bump booties while we're all trying to make our morning coffee at the exact same time. This place even has a karaoke machine, and I can't wait to scream, sing, sing both. parts of take me or leave me from rent. I'm so excited for this trip. When you are planning your next getaway, do yourself a favor and check out Airbnb. You can find a unique place that will elevate your entire trip. Go see what's out there and book a space that makes your trip unforgettable.

Support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University. I have to tell you, anytime I go to the hospital or a clinic, my anxiety is absolutely through the roof. It's just an overwhelming, scary place to be. But I feel like we've all experienced meeting an exceptional nurse who walks into the room and changes your day completely. They are so experienced and they know exactly what to say to take the panic out of the room and make a terrifying day feel completely manageable. And if you're looking for a new career path or you just want to do a job that truly matters,

you cannot help but think, wow, that is exactly the kind of nurse I want to be. Chamberlain University is where you start. Discover your calling at chamberlain.edu. Chamberlain University belong to something greater, certified to operate by Shev. Another episode of Why Won't You Date Me a podcast for me, Nicole Beyer, has been trying to figure out why I'm so single, even though you could come on my hand and tell me it's a ring. My guest today is a hilarious comedian, an actress you know from shows like the proud family run the world. Hacks. Her new special L-O-L with Bricia Webb is out

on Hulu and Disney Plus. I think she's so funny. She's so wonderful. It's Breesha Whel. Bhaba-ba-Bah, da-da-d-d-D. I did write Bree here because I was like, if I call her Brescia, that's not her name. Thank you. It is Bresia. It's Bresia, Bresia.

Thank you. I'm always intrigued by why people think my name is Brussia. Like, that's not black. Like, I was like, you came up with brush up? I don't know why people do that because the letters are there. The letters are there. And just imagine Keisha, but with a Bree. Oh.

Mind blowing, right? That's fancy. And it wasn't until I started hanging around white people. I was like, there's a thing called Bree Cheese, and that makes them happy. And so I just started going, Bree Cheese. with the Shah. And they're like, oh, I have it forever. I'm like, that's my name.

Wait, so you met your husband through a friend, but y'all had been on a comedy show together years prior? Well, kind of sort of. We met, like, years ago, I had a show at the comedy store impromptu. I was actually on my way to a party, like a Hollywood party thing, and he was going with his friend and just also my friend.

And so as we were driving past the comedy store, I remember that I had a set to do. And I said, oh, my God, because, you know, I struggle with the ADD too. And so I was like, oh, my God, I'm supposed to be on stage. Oh, shit. Can we stop the car right here? And they were like, what breach? We have people meeting us at the thing that's right up the block.

And I was like, well, tell them to come here. I'll get the men. It's fine. I just got to do this 10-minute set. And so he comes with his friend and they come and see me do a set, probably me singing about my vagina. Sure. Because that's one of my favorite things to do. Sure. And yeah, that's how we met.

And then we went to the party afterwards. I just remember him being in the background and not dressed for the occasion. But he was there. And I was like, oh, that's nice. What do you mean? Not dressed for the occasion? You know, like the Hollywood parties, you wear your little outfits. He was in like a Marvel T-shirt.

Like, he was in like a Batman or something. Like, I'm not a part of that world, but he was in something that world. I'm so opposite. And I just remember saying like, oh, you didn't get the memo. Like, we're all, like, dressed to the nine. And he's got this marble shirt on. I'm like, and you're still coming? Oh, my God.

You know, because at that time, I was into the Gucci belts. Uh-huh. You know. That's so funny because that is a phase that a lot of people went through. Just the double G belt with every outfit. Make sure you can see it. Yeah, you see this money. And that was probably all the money they had.

But yeah, that was what I was into in that time. So I didn't see him in that way, but he definitely saw me. And so years later, we're in the pandemic, the pandarosa. And Lonnie Love hit me up and was like, I got this bro. He's single. I love him. And I want him to be with a good girl. And I think I thought of you.

And I was like, what? That's nice. Does he have arms and legs? Yeah, so we ended up talking. He reminded me that we met years prior at this comedy show Weird Night with his Marvel shirt on. Did he clock that you clocked the Marvel shirt and weren't interested in talking to him?

I think so. I think he definitely did because I definitely went the other way at the party. You know, I just remember him being over. there and I was definitely over here. And what was your first date? On Zoom. He bought me. Oh, straight up during the Ponderosa. Yeah, I was in Canada doing a movie and yeah, he ordered me sushi on DoorDash and we ate our sushi on FaceTime or Zoom or one of those. That's so nice. It was so nice and it was so thoughtful. And so it It took me 30 days, really, because I had to finish the movie to give him some.

But I couldn't wait. I was so grateful that he was so nice to me. He would wake me up before my call time just so he could have his time with me. He would read me chapters from, like, the Obama book. And it was just so sweet. He was just so thoughtful. That is really fucking sweet. I gave him some after that.

Yeah, after 30-day, the 30-day rental period was over. I was like, look at God giving me 30 days. because I would have gave it to him on the sushi date. But that's just the way. I love that so much. That's so fucking romantic. It was really romantic. It's also like if there's a will, there's a way.

Yeah. It was a global pandemic and he was like, I'm going to treat this lady nice. He's got to tell you, I'll treat them nice. Oh, my God. Treat me nice. Be nice to me. And he was.

He even loved my dogs and he was allergic. Really? Yeah. How many dogs do you have? I had two. Oh, no. Had? I know.

One passed. Little foot. But, yeah, and then Peanut, I have turf now, so he lives with someone else. Oh. You have turf now? Yeah. I don't have real grass, so. And did Peanut not like real?

Well, I don't want, I've already dealt with turf before. And I had a baby. My baby is allergic. Sure. But once you have a baby and you have dogs, it's crazy. Mm-hmm. I always think it's wild when people let their child pet the dog. I'm like, no matter how nice that dog is, it still has teeth and it might turn on you.

Yeah, that is true. That is true. I mean. That's just me. That's just me. I didn't know how Peanut was going to act because he treated me when I was pregnant. Like, you know, you see these videos where the dogs are like loving on their mom that's pregnant and shit. He treated me like I was like a teenage pregnant mother. Like, and he was my dad and he was so disgusted and disappointed with me. He would like, whatever's inside you.

I don't want to see it. He would sit over there. I don't want it. He wouldn't growl, but he was just like disgusted with me like that I chose someone else. I feel like a lot of people would be like, but just give peanut a chance once the baby's here? No, I think that's smart. But he loved the baby. When the baby came there, he really loved it.

They were so cute together, but she also was allergic. Fair. I'm allergic to dogs, but I have a dog and I just deal with it. When I get sneezing, I'm like, time to vacuum. It's time to suck it. I'm allergic to, but I just love dogs. Can I ask a question? Yes.

So by the time you met your high. husband. You were super established in your career. You were very, very successful. Oh, thank you. Did that ever become a problem? Yes. Oh, it did. Dating while, I mean, I don't know if you, you experienced because you're very successful as well. Come on, girl. Thank you. We go back. I remember when we auditioned for S&L remember those days. I sure do. You're crazy. Oh, wow, wow, wow. They couldn't find any funny black women. Here we are, but, you know, that's another story. Anywho, my experience dating while, you know, being on TV, was quite odd, you know,

because I wanted someone that wasn't as pretentious and, like, that was just real, you know, and just wanted to, like, do normal things and not make a big deal about who I was. And I always found that if I wanted to date someone that was normal, I had to date someone that was also as successful. that didn't take themselves as serious. And so I was just blessed enough to find it. But when I was out there dating, oh, God, the cats and the dogs and the debris that I brought into the house. The debris.

It was so trashy. It was horrible. The dust. The cigarette buds. It was horrible. Okay. Scammers. Scammers. Wait.

Girl. Have you encountered a scammer? Have I lived with a scammer? Huh? Wait, tell me. Girl. You got to be safe. out in these streets. You gotta be glocked up. Yeah. It's crazy out here, for real, for real, okay?

You look up and you be like, I'm sleeping with a monster. You know, it's crazy. Wait, tell me about living with a scammer. If you don't mind. If you do mind. What you know about funding a project, okay, helping your man get to where he wants to be so we can elevate together. You fund a project. Uh-huh. And he don't even put you in it. Wait, that's fucked up. And you were actress? Not even in like a bit part?

Mm-mm. And then... And you introduce him to all the people. I don't like him. That's wildest hell. And a bitch stayed. Did you get a thank you in the credits? Really?

Did it ever come out? I guess that's a no. That's wild. And a wild bitch was crazy. The worst thing you can do is believe in a man. I mean, the right one. Yeah, you're right. I do believe in the nice man in my life.

Yes, I mean, I have the heart that, you know, I believe in. And some people take advantage of it, you know. And I'm grateful now that I have a man that I can believe in. And he does the same for me. So, you know, you just have to give that energy to a person that actually will put you in a project. Who's thinking about you? You know what I'm saying? It wasn't until I got out the shit that I was like,

oh, fact, that was kind of fraudulent. Why did you leave? That's, what is it? The hindsight's 20-20? Hindsight. Every time I've had a bad, like, relationship or, like, I've been dating someone for a minute and it was bad. I'm like, huh.

So I said, I accept this bad behavior. Yes. And I said, give me more. I'm hungry. I love it. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Something else I need to stay for, that I need to see it all the way through. I need to see if it's going to get a worse.

If you're going to be even more poorly behaved? I mean, my therapist, she told me, she said, you know, because we're in this business and we see so much potential in ourselves, and we keep going at a thing, and we keep believing in a thing, and we keep going after several knows, we believe that that can happen for someone else. Like we believe that that same energy we can put into our careers, we put into people. And so once she said that, that released me. That's interesting. Isn't it interesting? But it's also in an audition, you'll do the scene and then they'll give you a note and then you have to fully adjust. And it's like people who don't have to adjust once they're given a note.

Or you don't even know to give a note. You don't know what you want You don't know what you won't You're just doing the thing Dating sucks and I hate it I'm so happy I'm not doing it anymore It's awful It's terrible

And now I'm like I don't even know how people are doing it now I got apps and shit Well I was on the apps Were you ever on the apps? You know what I was And I kind of did some crazy shit During the pandemic

During the pandemic I was just like The world's gonna come to an end Let's just go all out, right? And I actually did a live date on one of the apps. Like, I went on Instagram Live. Uh-huh. And he was like, I want to see you. Like, I want to FaceTime you. And I was like, you can't FaceTime me. Are you not giving you my number? I said, you, I said, you follow me on Instagram. Instagram Live Me. And I let everybody in on the date. And people were clowning him in his white shirt, his fan was dirty.

He had a Bible on his nightstand that had probably never been opened. Like, people were just like crowning him. I'm dying. This man was like, give me a chance. And you were like, not only will I give you a chance, but I'm going to let everybody judge you. Yeah. Honestly, you probably gave him a very valuable lesson.

I did. Or he's in a basement planning. I don't know. I've never thought of it until this moment, actually. But that was kind of weird. I think you changed his life. I think so, too. I hope he changed.

his shirt. Because I'm like, why would you FaceTime in? You got a dirty ring around your shirt. Oh. Like, it was just not, it wasn't proper. You know, it just was, it wasn't dirty, but it was just like. It was a house shirt. Yeah, it was just like.

It wasn't a date shirt. It wasn't a date. Also, a dirty ring around a shirt for a man. You wear a makeup or you filthy? No filthy. Which one is it? You don't believe in duff? No dub, no tie, no downy.

No downy. Finally. Wait, we have to take it. take a break. I pay all of my guests to be on this show, but sometimes they request to donate their fee instead. And do you know the number one place they ask to donate to? Planned Parenthood. And for good reason, these health centers provide essential sexual and reproductive health care to people who need it the most.

They're out there every single day offering affordable birth control, life-saving cancer screenings, and STI testing so people can safely take care of their bodies and place. land their futures on their own terms. But right now, there is a push in Congress to extend the defunding of Planned Parenthood permanently. And we talk a lot about how messy dating is, but you know what makes dating infinitely harder and way more stressful for everyone, shutting down access to this exact kind of care? But Planned Parenthood is absolutely not backing down. They're still showing up for their patients every single day, making sure everyone can get the

life-saving and life-changing sexual and reproductive health care they need. Planned Parenthood needs your help in this fight right now. No matter the size, your donation makes a real difference to protect access to care and push back against the members of Congress trying to shut these centers down. Don't let them get away with this. Go to planparenhood.org slash defend and give today. We're all on our own unique paths when it comes to our bodies. There is absolutely zero pressure to change a single thing.

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To get started and learn more, including important safety information, Wagobe, clinical study information and restrictions, visit for hers.com. So the entire premise of this podcast started as a way for me to learn why I was so single for literally hundreds of episodes. I have shared every messy, wild dating story with all of you. But look at me now. I found the absolute sweetest, nicest man in the world and literally owe it all to Hinge for introducing him to me. Hinge is the dating app designed to be what deleted. It's genuinely built for finding connection and dating with intention. Setting up my profile felt totally different. I could actually share who I am and have meaningful conversations just like right out of the gate.

I think the thing that sets hinge apart from other dating apps is the prompts. I love those prompts. One of them was, who would you invite to dinner? And I think that's just a, it is a simple question. But it's time to get creative. Who would you invite to dinner, George Washington and ask him some questions about his teeth, you know? that would be interesting, or maybe you invite Nostferatus, and he comes and he's all wild and stuff. Now that I'm off the market, I am completely invested in my single friend's love lives.

And that's why I love Hinge's new feature. Friends take. Your besties can now hype you up directly on your profile. This app worked for me. It can work for you. If you're looking to find a nice person in your life and get off the dating market, give it a try. Download Hinge today. We're back!

What is one of the worst dates you've been on before you were married? Oh, oh. I went on a date. It was so bad I actually wrote a song about it because I was so frustrated with it. He drove a BMW. Okay. I'll start there. Sure.

That's where I met him. It was driving a really nice. You know, nice BMW. Okay. Leather seats. Oh, yes, of course. That's an extra charge. Oh, yes.

And so he had a good job. He was the way he was talking to me. He had on a white shirt. Okay. Okay. And so we had been talking for a while. And so I let him take me out. Yes.

He said he was starting to get into the business. And I was like, oh, good. I don't like that. But, you know, hey, belief. You know, that crazy lady is like believing you. Believe in that, man. Even that black man, you don't know. You don't know.

You don't know where he could be. You don't know what he'll be, but he has a job. Okay? And a BMW. And a BMW, so he's doing well, right? So I was like, hmm, let's give him a shot, you know. And so we went to the restaurant and we had the food and he also part-time there. And I thought that was interesting.

I was like, oh, why are you part-time at a restaurant? So he was like, we can use my discount. A thrifty diva. A thrifty tall diva. And then there was some change left over. There was like, you know, it covered most of the bill, but there was maybe $15 or something remaining. This motherfucker took out a coin purse. He said, I have laundry day that I didn't do.

And I have all of these coins, so why not use them? Today. And I watched this man, and I let him put out $15 worth of coins. And I sat there. And I watched him. And I watched them. And I didn't go in my purse out of wants. I just let them.

I said, you better pay for this shit. And I'm going to sit here and watch you. And I want you to slide it over to them. Okay? But it doesn't stop there. It does not stop there. I said, I want to see where you live. I want to see where you live.

I want to see where you live. Take me there. I want to see where these quarters are getting you. Yeah, I want to see. This motherfucker. It took me into his apartment. It was dark. It was, you know, the sun was going down.

It wasn't all the way down. It was by the beach. So I knew I wasn't going to back over this bitch. Because I lived in the valley. You know, he lived in Santa Monica. We're not going to. Too far. Too far already. Okay? So the sun's

going down. I started looking around. I was like, well, where is and when is he going to turn on a lamp? This motherfucker goes into his bathroom and turns on the light and cracks the door. Ambeiance.

I said, I have to get out of here. No lamps? No lamps. No overhead lights? No overhead lights. It was too light. It was too bright. if he turned on the overhead. It wasn't going to give you the ambiance. Oh, I see. Because he was hoping to get some pussy.

Uh-huh. And you said, you paid for dinner with quarters. I'm not a slot machine. You're not sliding anything in here. You're not going to slide that in here. What are you doing? Why are you over here scamming? Truly, get rid of the BMW and buy a lamp.

Buy a lamp. Just a nice little floor lamp. But you know, I'm so nice. I went to Ross, and I got. I'm a cracked a lamp and I dropped it off. That's really funny. Yeah. And I made sure it was cracked.

I made sure it was cracked. It was only $2. Here's a $2 cracked lamp. That's funny. Live a little better. Live a little better. I believe in you. I bet you he still has it.

Girl. What are like some dating red flags that you've seen and either ignored or said? The $15 and quarter. There we go. Okay. Let's start there. Okay. They were dollar coins, but still.

Sacchia's? Who just keeps those? Who stacks those on a rainy day? That's so funny. It's just a coin purse. Just a coin purse. Getting a little satchel. It's got one seccajiia, two sacchargia, three, sacerdia, four, five seconds a week.

But I feel like it was like, if I remember, I haven't gone to this place in so long, it's funny. I just put this together. He was a Capricorn, and he was born in Alabama. Okay. My husband is a Capricorn, and he's from Alabama. Isn't that a God wink? Not this one, but the real one's coming. Isn't that a God wink?

God has a good. Ooh, look at that Godwink. That's so funny. Gotcha, gotcha. That is kind of wild to be like, see, you're going to get something like this, but better. He was tall. Mm-hmm. He had all of his hair.

It was about my husband has a full head of hair. It was very, and I think it was probably because of that. I needed him to have all of his hair. I needed my husband to have all of his hair. I just believe that God could give me that. I don't want a balding man. I don't want that. I don't want a balding man.

The way you said that I was like, oh my God, this is like life or death. It was. The nail beds are really important to me. I can't have nubles. I can't have nubles. Like, I don't touch me with your roach. fingers. Don't touch me. Ew. And a balden head. So no balden head. Roach fingers. Those are, red flags for you. Red flags for me. Red flags. Fix it. Or shave it off. Well, how do you

fix Roach fingers? I don't know. You need to calm down. Take a little zycambe. Not zycambe, you know, one of those little drugs. Just take some allergy medicine. You need to stop biting your nail. Stop now. Stop it. And what are some green flags that you had with your husband? Being kind. Yes. Taking care of you.

Yes. Paying attention. Absolutely. What else? I like that he was strong. You could fix things. I like that man shit. Yeah.

You know? I like a man that can just like put up a fence. Oh. Yeah. He could put up a fence? He built his own fence. Oh. Yeah.

I thought that was real sexy. And he stained it. And he was stained it. I thought you said, and he's stankin. And I was like, so. I was like, oh, this is kind of going in a different direction than I thought. But no, they got to smell good. Yes.

The cologne assortment has to be high. Yes. You know, I need you to smell like man. Man. Man. Yeah, I like that. What's your favorite cologne? I don't know.

Whatever he'd be wearing. I like it. And when he goes on like, when he goes like to do work or when I spray it on my pillow. Because I like the way he smell. I love that. It's really gross. I love him. He was nice to me.

He bought me coffee. He bought me this coffee. He knew I was running. He was nice. That's nice. What is your coffee order? It's so lightened. Yes, I got a cold foam and the brown shaking espresso with oat milk, but with whole milk.

Oh. Oh, I also love that the person who made it said, great choice. They flirt with my husband. Mm-hmm. Oh. The Starbucks is right across the street, and those bitches love him. Yeah. As soon as he pulls up, they don't even know I'm in the car, and they're like, Nick!

I'm like, bitch, call down. That's really funny. See that cyber truck pull over and he'll be like, oh, my God, he's here, guys. You want the brown shaking espresso with cold foam? Wait, that's really funny. Does that bother you at all? Are you like... I mean, at first it was a lot, but now I never mess up his order.

Uh-huh. They correct me. He goes there that much. That's so funny. I fucking love that. The nice man in my life never notices when a man, or not a man, when a woman hits on him, or a man. Honestly, he's so, like, aloof. I love that.

In a way that I'm like, you didn't see how that lady talked to you and just ignored me? And he's like, no? They seem like they were in. nice to you? And I was like, okay, whatever. Does it piss you off? No. I just think it's so funny that he's so aloof about it. But I love that he can just be whimsical. He is a little whimsical. I love that. He's really nice. That's really nice. It's so wild. I could just see you guys like twirling together. Well, it takes a little bit. Sometimes we'll be walking to the car. I'm like, do you want to skip? And he's like, you can skip and I'll watch you. How about that? And I love that

too, because you need a man to make sure that you are careful and taking care of. of. Yes. Listen, listen, my husband, he don't, he don't laugh much. Mm-hmm. You know, because he served our country. Sure. So very few things are funny.

Yeah, so very few things are, you know. My God. You know, he's such a stoic guy. And I'm just like, la-de-la. He literally says, Obresia is la-la-la-la-la. And I'm just making sure all the cordrants or like, are taking care of. But you need that. I need to.

I was just outside letting this pay. for dinner with quarters like and then going to their house to see how they live like what is wrong with me and then still having a heart to give him a lamp like what is wrong with me? There is nothing wrong with you I think that's incredible but honestly I would also be

curious I'd be like how are you living what is your life like? What is your wife like? What is the apartment? Do you have blinds? Do you have a bed that's on a bed frame? No he did not I once hooked up with a man The mattress was on the floor

And he had like a Costco-sized bottle of Juergens And I was like, I should leave You are not safe around women Why is the lotion that much important to you? Right? That it's right next to the mattress Ew! Also, I was wearing my knockoff Keds from Payless And it was summer

I was wearing no socks and he started to take my shoes off and I said, I think they might be stinky. And then he said, well, let's keep those on. Then I rode this man wearing my little knockoff kids. I love that for you. I don't. Dick on the run.

As soon as I came, I was like, got to go! Look, you got to get what you need and get out of there. Oh, boy. Wait, I want to know, what is your proposal like? Is that private or do you want to share it? No, you know what? I actually was talking to my mom on my way over here because my girlfriend sent me

a different view of the video. It's so ridiculous. I mean, I could show it to you. I could show it to you. It's really right here. Like, I was literally talking about it on my way here because my voice is so high. I was so touched that my friends did this,

like that he did this. We're at Wally's. Okay. What's Wally's? It's a wine place in Santa Monica and Beverly Hills. Oh, so you walk in. I take my jet. jacket off and my glasses, and then I freak out.

Oh, I love that you were like, I need to freak out properly. Yeah. I need to take my glasses, my jacket off. Oh, my God, your voice is very high. Oh, my God! You're stomping up and down. Oh, you look so happy. I was so shocked.

So it was a surprise proposal. That's your husband? Damn. He's fine as hell. Thank you. He really is fine as hell. My God. And he's big.

Oh my God. He got a nice butt. Thank you. Oh, my God. It's a football butt. I told me. I'm dying. It went like that the entire time.

And I know exactly what I'm saying the entire time. And my girlfriend was like, it just came like in my memory on my phone. And she was like, Brescia, it's so ridiculous. Like, why were you talking that high? And I was like so, I was so worried about everybody else. Like I knew where this person was going to be. where this person was going to be. I was like, it's Angel's birthday.

Like, why is she here? You told me this was a birth dinner. I didn't wear the right outfit. Like, I was just all over the place. I'm like, why are these people here? And no way you're doing this right now. Right now, this is happening. Like, I was freaking out, but it was in this, like,

little peony little tincty little voice. It's so funny. It is, it sounds like you suck to, like the helium out of a balloon. And I didn't know I could even go. that high. I was so shocked. I was just so blown away. Yeah, I was really shocked

and like the thought that went into it. It's really sweet. It was really sweet. I also love that you start going just higher in the register of your voice and your husband just kind of walked away. He did like a couple circles to be like, let me give her a minute. It's really sweet. It goes farther.

Like I like throw myself into the wall and I kind of have a temper tantrum. Like I kind of like, you know, and then my friend comes over and she starts taking off my rings and I'm like, no, no way! And she was like, someone was like, Brisha, stop saying no.

And I was like, it was like they were taking off my... Your singlehood. My singlehood. And I was like, it's over! Oh my God! No, no, no! But it was great.

Wait, let me see your ring. Oh, yeah. Oh, he did a very nice job. He did. He actually got the ring I wanted. It was on my Pinterest. board. And he went to my friends and was like, what's the ring? And they sent him the picture. You see that ring? Oh, this is, you know. Oh, that's pretty too. Oh, look at her. She's dripping and jeweled. That's my love language. That's why you gotta get the right one. You gotta get the right one

that drives a nice car, but has a nice place with lights. You know? And that's the advice. That's the advice. Date a man with a nice place and lights. Mm-hmm. He had his own house break guy. Oh, look at that. That's lovely. That was a very hard, you know, I was like, if I got my house, you need that how you're on.

And then we combined house and then we combine house and that's nice real estate. Yes. We got to take another break. Oh my goodness. My debit card was stolen and they kept using it to order exactly $999 on DoorDash. And I was like, what's happening? This is not fun. I don't want this. And guess what? Keeping your money safe from fraud deserves to be a priority.

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Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash date me. So you got married at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Very fancy. I love that. Very fancy. An old Hollywood glam themed.

Did people show up and do the theme? They did. There was a pause there. I'm not going to say, okay? You're not going to have me out here. But they did. People were really, really on point. And I really, I loved it.

It was beautiful. My friend also did a Hollywood glam-themed wedding, and some people didn't do it. And I was looking at them being like, what the fuck? You have one job. This is glam to you? Why don't you Google glam and then do what Google says? Anyway. Anyway.

So you guys didn't do your vows in front of people? You did them separately? Yeah, we didn't. We didn't do them. like in front of everybody. Well, first, because I would make a joke about everything. Yeah. And my husband's a writer.

And so, of course, he's going to do the thing. He's going to write vows that are, like, I've read his scripts. He's very accomplished writer. It's not, I'm going to tell jokes. Yes. You know, like, you're going to, you know, be like, the wind and the earth and the love. And you're going to be like, I love that dick. Yeah.

I love my dick. Look at that. I just saw fire. You know, and so yeah, I just wanted to be serious. And if I wanted to cry, I wanted to touch up my makeup before the cameras got on us. And yeah, I wasn't about to be ugly crying in front of everybody. So I was very performative. Like, yes, look at me, everybody.

I had already ugly cried. I like that at your wedding, you kept something for you guys. Because I feel like sometimes, like in sex in the city, the wedding got bigger than Carrie. I am big the movie, not the TV show, which I think is a different canon. But anyway, I like that you kept something for yourselves. Like, I think that is so fucking sweet. Yeah. Oh.

Yeah. It was really, I like that we did that. And he knows me well. He knows that I would not take it as serious and go as deep as we should and naturally say vows. Like, we say the vows that are, you know, do you take this in front of everybody? But, like, real, like, sincere. work. Yeah.

And he said something about my dad and I had lost my dad a year before or two years before. And so, yeah, you're going to get. Uh-huh. And I'm not about to do that in front of everybody. And all my pictures are like, you know, now, no, no, that's so funny. Have you ever collaborated with your husband? Have you guys worked together? Well, we have a project that we're about to take out now.

Oh, that's exciting. That's exciting. Like, we've never really worked together. but just making a human. You did the ultimate work together. We did the ultimate work together. But like, no, not really. No, not yet.

But that's exciting. It's exciting, yeah, because he's really funny, but he writes a lot of serious stuff. So, yeah, we're doing that. And that collaboration, I assume it's like a pitch. Yes. Well, for non-Hollywood people,

a pitch is you go and pitch it to people. He would go and pitch it to people and somebody says, yes, we want to do it. How intuitive that word is. I was like, well, a pitch is. And I was like, a pitch. Anyway, so writing a pitch together, was that hard to collaborate? Or did you find it easy to collaborate? Well, my sense of humor and his sense of humor is different.

You know, he's more hitty and I'm more really goofy. Yeah. And so I feel like it worked together. We clashed a little bit, but then we were able to. to make it better for each other. You know, I was like, this is ultimately going to be someone that I can relate to so I can play it and we can be in this world. And we both found this whole situation really funny.

So it was like we had to actually talk it through with each other and hear each other's creative process, which was kind of sexy. Ooh. Yeah, because sometimes, like, his creative process is very singular. He just locks himself in a room. and I just read the product and I'm like, wow, look at that. But this one I had to give notes

and he had to take it in and it's kind of weird because, you know, when you're a writer, you get notes from everybody. Network and you just got to take that shit. From me, you know, his wife, I read it and I go, well, I see it this way. And he's like, well, what do you mean?

You know. That's so funny. It's really funny. So he, you know, we kind of clashed a little bit But then we actually took a glass of wine and just relaxed. I love that because I feel like this is beneficial for him in the long run, like to be able to collaborate with truly anybody. Well, he can collaborate with everybody.

It's just me. You. I know him on a different level. And so, yeah. No, marriage is interesting. You know, I'll be pitching jokes to him and he'd be like, well, you know, I would say, I was like, I didn't ask him to say nothing. How about that?

I called you to listen. I invited you into my process to listen. Okay? So listen. That's really funny. Yeah. I called you. I invited you.

I invited you to this process. Shut up and listen. Yeah. So he'd be getting me back. Do you have any advice for people out there who are single and looking for somebody? Hmm. Do I have any advice? Strap up because these motherfuckers is just dirty.

Okay. Strap up. Strap up. I mean, I think just... Is your advice to shoot somebody? No, I mean, that too. But also, like, just wear a condom. Like, everyone, please be safe.

Because I was watching Love Island, and I was like, they kiss a lot. And there's a lot of just liquids going on. And I just don't believe it's clean. And I just want everyone to be safe. You know, you don't like that. anything. You can just, you can't, you know, you got to take it home, you know, and then that just lingers on in your life and you just want to be safe. Honestly, I don't think I ever thought of it that

way. Whatever you do outside, you have to take it home. So why wouldn't you be safe outside? So then when you go home, you're good. Yeah, you're good. Yeah. I don't watch Love Island. I watched it for five minutes and I was disgusted. I was like, this is what the children are watching. It's just hot people. It's porn. Locked up kissing? Yeah. I mean, we, I mean, I don't know how old you are, but like real world and all of that for us was what this is trying to be.

But we actually had like real experiments going on. Like real people, real problems, real life. Uh-huh. Real world. Like, I feel like it's trying to be like that, but like really crass. Like, they was eating feet. Like, they had black women. on their licking white men's feet.

And I was just like, what the fuck is going on? Everybody can't be Alondria. You know, like Alondria, you know, she made it. And I'm happy for her. But like, everybody, calm down. Calm down. Why are we licking people's feet? Ew.

That made me. I'm not a foot hound. And I just. The challenges? Ew. Ew. The challenges are like lick each other's feet? I don't, yes.

It was just disgusting. It was really repulsive. I just came. believe people are doing that. And so I just think, stay off of Love Island. But I mean, if I had any advice, just be true to yourself and listen to that small, that small voice. And if your small voice is saying, run, please run. I'm still thinking about licking feet on television. Girl, that stays with you. That's what I'm saying. That stays with you for the rest of you were like, Mommy, I can't believe you licked a man's foot like that. Like taking a toe in the bottom of the foot. Some of our

ancestors dived into the ocean. Honey. Not on purpose. No. They made a choice. And your choice is to lick feet? Let that feet. Let that foot.

I don't know about that. That makes me very upset. No protection of nothing. You're going to eat a man's foot and then go eat a piece of burger and swallow it. Like, girl. Like, life can't be that difficult. I'm obsessed with the idea of foot protection. Like, saran wrapping a foot before you lick it.

Like, it would be me. If I had to, it was like, this is what you have to do to survive. Does anyone have anywhere in those rap? I just would say, I would be like send me home. Because people get eliminated on it, right? Yeah. Like not being hot enough. I don't understand the show.

I don't understand the show. And people keep talking to me about it. I'm like, all I get is there is hot people. Now I know they're foot looking. And then they get sent home if they don't look good enough. And so what happens if you go home and you look the foot? It just ain't worth it. No.

It just ain't worth it. No. And you have to go home and be like, I lost and I licked feet. And it's documented. Yes. And now everybody knows you as a foot licker. It just don't seem culture to me. God, that's so wild.

And then you're going on a day just living your life and it'd be like, oh, I remember you. You lick that foot. Yeah. And you don't want that to be your legacy. Girl. Ladies. Oh. Don't do that.

No. Don't do that. Don't do that. Well, Parisha. We have reached the end. Do you have anything you wish to promote? Yes. Well, I can promote my special that is out now on Hulu.

Just look up my name, B-R-E-S-H-A-W-E-B-B-B-L-O-L-L. And I shall come up. And I shall come up. And then a barbershop is coming out this, I think, next, like in December or January or something. like that. Okay. Yeah. They'll let you know when it's important. You know, they'll let us know, but I did it. It's coming out. And hopefully you'll see me and be like, oh, that's that girl. We like that girl. We like that girl. Yes. I have another question. Oh. I ask, all of my guests, this. I've only missed it a couple of times. Would you date me?

Yes. Are you nuts? That was really sweet. Yeah. Because it really, you seemed confused that like it was even a question. Yeah, it was like, of course I would date you. We would have so much fun. I honestly think we would tuck her each other out every day. Every day we'd be like, we have to go to sleep. And it's like, but I have something else I would like to say. And we could go on the pole because I love that you do pole dancing because I know your teacher.

You know Veronica? Yes, she taught me. I'm upset. I didn't know that you knew Veronica. Yes, I love her. She's so good and she's so gentle. She really is. And I would love to go to dance class with you.

Please come. We're learning how to do shoulder mounts and they hurt so. I would bruise. I mean, I burn myself just curling my hair. I'm so clumsy. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I burn myself by accident all the time. But yeah, so watching me on a poll is hilarious. I would like to see it. Okay. Okay. It's a date. See? I'm dating you. We're dating. Yeah. Aw. Shad, thank you so much for being here. You're truly incredible. I told you before we started. I really love this outfit. Thank you. You can have it too. I can. Yeah, I've told you where you can get it.

I tell you where you get it. Well, if you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you can like it, you can follow it, rate at five stars on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, subscribe to our YouTube channel for video episodes. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me to Why Won't You Date Me podcast at gmail.com, I will read it. This person writes, hi Nicole, here's a dirty story I imagined for us. You, me, Guy Fieri, and Vin Diesel all meet up at the Burbank Airport and order burgers at Guy's restaurant. When we finish eating, we smash our plates to the ground and take off all our clothes. You and Vin get freaky doing doggy style on the table. Oh boy.

Well, me and Guy, 69 in the booth. Then we guzzle down milkshakes while Guy pleasures each of us with his tongue, one by one. Your face. His beard tickles us and he says, yum, that's delicious. Then he pours hot sauce on our tities and we scream of joy. So hot, goodbye. From Anonymous. Risha hated that.

I just don't want to include milkshakes in that equation. It's going to be gassy. You know, so many things can happen. No, you're absolutely right because I'm lactose intolerant. Listen, you don't want to include milkshake in that. The 69 on the booth was really cute. I was like, that could be hot. Yeah.

But, yeah. In a public, like, place, like, the floors are dirty. I think about all of those things. The floors are dirty, and people are trying to travel and pee. Yes, let them. They're trying to get out of here. Yeah. Well, no.

Goodbye. That was a hate gum podcast. Ooh, baby. Why won't you date me is officially hiring? We are looking for a part-time podcast production apprentice to join the team. If you know the show, get my voice and want to help us edit and put the show together, this is for you. It's a paid role. You'll get direct mentorship, so it's the ultimate way to learn the ropes and get a real start in podcasting.

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