Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Dating Life of a Burlesque Superstar (w/ Jessabelle Thunder)

Episode Date: August 8, 2025

International award-winning burlesque dancer Jessabelle Thunder joins Nicole to talk about why so many partners say they’re cool with burlesque - until they’re not. She shares how she transformed from a shy girl into a commanding headliner, the different styles of burlesque dancing, and the time she broke her ankle on stage mid-show. Jessabelle also relives a London date with an Irish DJ who argued he should be allowed to say the N-word. Plus, Nicole forgets her meds, spirals on the future of AI, and goes to a pet psychic to figure out why Cylde be biting.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:» Quince: Elevate your fall wardrobe essentials with Quince. Go to Quince.com/dateme for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.» Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.» Mint Mobile: This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/DATEME.View all of our sponsors and discounts codes at wwydm.notion.site/sponsors.Follow:Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is too titillating. The question is, have I dated anyone who actually liked it? Okay. Have you? Just the one that put me in the class. Really? Everybody else has a problem with it. They're like, oh, it's no big deal.

And then later on, they're like, that was a big deal. That to me is so interesting because I feel like that's what happens with, like, say, stripping or, Like any sort of like I show my body at night. Yeah. Like then they're like, no, I don't have a problem with it. And then they're like, actually I do. Have you ever worked through it? Like somebody was like, oh, I have a problem with it.

And you're like, okay, we can talk about it. No. Oh. No, never. I've never had an adult conversation about it. I'm usually just like, well, this is what I'm doing and you can go. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me?

Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Ooh, baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? A podcaster, Me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come on a piece of paper and say, babe, that's a sticker. My guest did. today is an international award-winning burlestear that I found on Instagram.

And then I was watching a bunch of videos and I was like, well, got to talk to you. Get ready for the storm. It's Jezebel Thunder. Yay. Thanks for having me. I was curious how you found me. So, okay. I got like lost in an internet hole.

I was on Instagram and I found this white lady at first. She's in New York and she does Broadway. dance, which is like, I guess like chorus dancing from Broadway shows. And she was like, I don't want this style of dance to die. And I was like, neither do I. I don't know how to help you. And then, you know how sometimes you look at like different dancing and it shows you other dancers?

And then the algorithm showed me you. And I was like, ooh, a black burlesque dancer. I don't see very many black burlesque dancers. I think the algorithm, I'm not saying that they, don't exist and there aren't a lot of them. I'm just saying my algorithm wasn't serving it to me. And then I was like, ooh, you're in L.A.? Oh, I love that so much.

I was like, come on it. I love that so much because I was, when I got your message, I was like sitting in a rehearsal room and I saw it on my Instagram and I was like, like, how did she find me? Because I, I've been listening to this podcast for ages and early days, I sent an email to be like, can I be on the show? And obviously, no response because I'm like, I don't know. Like, I'm a nobody.

Did you send it to, because I had put out an email into the world, an email address. Bacon can save at gmail.com. And then people have really overrun it and I can't even look at it anymore. Oh, my gosh. What is it? It's bacon can save at gmail.com. That was not it. Oh, okay.

I wonder what email address it was. Why won't? What's the one that you tell? Why won't you date me at gmail.com? Where you send the stories. And I was like, let me be sneaky and send it in with the stories. And maybe someone will see it. That's not me.

That's Mars. Okay. It also has been overrun with a lot of spam. And yeah, guess pitches and stuff like that. Isn't that annoying? Yeah. It's so awful. Like, on my little bacon can save, because I truly genuinely was like, I don't know,

maybe somebody will send me something that'll change my life and I don't want to put up a barrier. But, like, people sign me up for, like, Subaru fucking alerts. And, like, people buy things and then we'll put that email address. So then I'll get your delivery alerts. It's awful. Random people? Yes. It's not nice.

Wait, can you tell me, how did you get involved with burlesque? How did you find it? It's a long story that I'm going to try to condense a little bit as much as possible. But I was dating someone and 2009. Oh, okay. Yeah, so a long time. I've been doing this for a long time. But he put me in a class because I was like, oh, I love burlesque.

I want to see it everywhere. I can never see myself doing it because I'm not a theater kid. I'm not a dance person, like, I wasn't that kind of kid ever. I was just like, let me sit back and be invisible. Like, I was in chorus in high school in the back, just not a soloist. And so I saw a burlesque and I'm like, I would love to do this, that I could never see myself doing it. And as a surprise, he signed me up for a class in L.A., like a series of classes. That's nice.

Yeah, it was nice. It was pretty shocking at first. Do the classes still exist? Not that school. But there are classes, just not that school particularly. but he put me in the class and then called me up on the Sunday and he's like, okay, I'm going to take you somewhere

so be ready at this time. And I'm like, okay, cool, I hate surprises. So tell me how to prepare and what it is. He's like, I can't tell you what it is, but wear your workout clothes. And I'm like, okay, cool, cool, cool. Are we going hiking? Are we going to brunch place?

Like, what is it going to be? And he's like, no, I'm just not going to tell you just wear your stuff and just be prepared. And then we're getting ready to hang up the phone and he goes, oh, oh, oh, also. bring your stripper shoes because I was going to pole dancing classes. Where were you going to pull classes? In, oh my God, in downtown L.A.?

In downtown Laleigh. I was like, I wonder if it's the same place I go. I go to Luscious Maven in North Hollywood? No, I've heard of that. I've heard of that. I was going for a short time to Beehive. Have you seen that one in Pasadena? No.

That's a cute one. I truly found Lushes Maven and never looked for anything else. Oh, okay, okay. I'm a very loyal person. If I find one thing I like, I'm like, this. Yeah. This is what I'll do. Only this.

Just this one. Well, I should try that one one time. I don't know. I think you'll like it. I just, I can't, I can't invert. I cannot go upside down. So once I get to that level, I panic and then I stop going. It's happened multiple times.

If I can invert, you can invert. Yeah. How do you do it? I kick up. I do it the bad way. Oh, okay. I just kick up. Yeah.

And when you're upside down, It is a little scary and you're like, oh, I might die. But I always do it with the little mats. But truly, if I can invert, you can invert. It's so hard. It's so scary. It's so hard. Well, you need to find a teacher who's willing to, like, support you.

Like my teacher, this very lovely lady, Veronica, she spots me and she's a very strong lady. So, like, I feel very, like, she's not going to drop me and she's not going to let me die. Yeah. And she said it numerous times. Of course, you trust that. Yeah, yeah. So I really don't think she's going to let me die.

You can invert, I promise. Okay, so he was like, gather your stripper. Oh, yeah. At this point, were you like, are we doing a poll class or something? At this point, I was like, no, no, you need to tell me what the hell is going on because I cannot gather and I don't like the surprise. And then he told me on the phone, he's like, you're going to go to a class. And I said, I don't want to go immediately. I was like, I'm not, I don't want to do this.

This isn't for me. Which, you know, and then I went. And then they had, it was intermediate class. So they were just like, oh, she can come if she can do choreography, just pick it up easily. He's like, oh, yeah, she loves to dance. And I'm like, cool, great, let me try. You know, I will say this. This is nice that this man was like, this is something you're into.

I'm going to surprise you. But like intermediate for something you've never done before, I think it's a little unkind. That makes a surprise kind of shitting. It's kind of scary, especially for someone who, like me, who wants to be in the back. And it's like a burlesque class where you, on my head, you've got to be in the front, you know? And I'm like, and I went into the class expecting it to be a bunch of like white ladies. Because I just, that was my, that's everyone's interpretation, I think, of burles. They're like, oh, only just, Dina Vantes does it, right?

Just only people look like her, but it's not true. So anyway, I went to the class and there were so many people that looked like me and then not like me in various sizes and heights. And I was like, oh, hey, okay, this is kind of cool. And I made friends that I still know to this day. And 16 years later. I'm still doing it. See, okay, I have another podcast with my best friends to share, and people always ask, like, how do you make friends?

And this proves that I'm right. Take a fucking class. Yeah. Like, if you're interested in something, take a class. You'll meet people who like the same things you like. It's like a cheat code. Yeah. But I love that.

I love that you saw different types of bodies and whatnot, because I feel like a lot of burlesque is a lot of different types of bodies. But I feel like the burlesque that I have seen, like, in person is like very, very white. Like, even in New, I was in New Orleans. Maybe I just went to the wrong burlesh show. But it was very, very white. And I was like,

Normans is a black gown. Where did you go? I don't remember. And I'm criticizing it, so I don't want to be mean. Fair enough. Because I did have a nice time. Okay, fair enough. I had a very nice time and I don't want to be mean.

I get that. And then this boyfriend that you were, boyfriend you were dating. Yeah, at the time. Yeah. Did you, did he ever. surprise you with anything else? He, oh, you know what? He actually gave me one of the sweetest gifts.

I mean, we're done. We were done shortly after the class, which kind of sucks because I was like, I got this newfound confidence. Bye. Wait, that's so funny. This man was like, I'm going to gift you something. And you were like, and that gift is for me to get out of here. I feel like basically, yes.

Oh, my God. I feel like the tissues left and my eyes are like tearing up right now. My eyes tear up to you sometimes Last time we were recording I was just like My makeup got all fucked up Anyway, so He gave me this really sweet

Birthday gift But I will never forget Because people I was gift cards Like a series of gift cards To places that I liked And people shit on gift cards All the time

I hate it. People like Don't get me no gift card for this And I'm like But I want you to get a gift card Yeah because you get what you want Instead of giving me a gift that I'm like I'm going to give it back or I'm going to give it to someone else. Give me a gift card to like places I go frequently.

Yes. And then I could pick out whatever I want. I feel like it's impersonal but also personal. Like the fact that it's some place that I go to frequently and he remembered that. I was like, oh, here's one gift card a day up until my birthday. That's nice. Yeah. It was super cute.

I was like, oh, sweet. The only thing about gift cards that I simply don't like is I forget that I forget that have them. Oh, yeah. I did a show and whatever the, the, not production, what is it? Promoter. The promoters of the show gave me shell gift cards for gas. And that's a great gift. Yeah. But I never remember to put them in my wallet. So I just, every time I leave my room, I'm like, bring those shell gift cards with you. And then I leave the house. And then I'm like, oh, I need gas. And I'm like, I wish I had those gift cards. So I'm in a vicious cycle. I'm not using these gift cards.

But I also feel like it's, that happens to me sometimes. I'll put them away and then I forget about them. But then the best part is when you find them. Yes. Surprise. Yes, I have money. Oh, my God. That's what happened.

Oh, I have a Starbucks gift card. Yeah. I have to use it. Yeah, exactly. It's because I ordered a Trenta cold brew with four shots of espresso, but the cold brew wasn't working so they had to give me regular coffee. So then they refunded me part of the money on a gift card. So I think I have $4 to Sturbix.

That is a lot of shots in caffeine. I know. Whenever I order it, I go, take me to the moon and kill me! And then we all have a great big laugh. My stomach would be very upset. Oh, I love caffeine. I do too, but that, a Trenta? Yes.

Damn. Four shots. Yes. Wow. Get me going. I can also drink it and go to sleep. It's my body is sick. Same.

I drink Celsius to. to keep me awake and I yawn repeatedly after. Those things are so good. The vibes. They're very, very good. I love them. So have you ever dated anybody who didn't like the burlesque who was like, this isn't for me? This is too titillating.

The question is, have I dated anyone who actually liked it? Okay. Have you? Just the one that put me in the class. Really? Everybody else has a problem with it. They're like, oh, it's no big deal. And then later on, they're like,

That was a big deal. That, to me, is so interesting because I feel like that's what happens with, like, say, stripping or, like, any sort of, like, I show my body at night. Yeah. Yeah. Like, then they're like, no, I don't have a problem with it. And then they're like, actually, I do. Have you ever worked through it? Like, somebody was like, oh, I have a problem with it.

And you're like, okay, we can talk about it. No. Oh. No, never. I've never had an adult conversation about it. I'm usually just like, well, this is what I'm doing. and you can go. Fair.

I mean, I haven't said that. I've been like, no, please stay. We'll work it out. And they're like, okay, we'll try. But then they hate it still. It's just so, it's because they're insecure. I feel like that's a lot of it. And I had one guy and we're friends to this day.

So I'm not trying to shit to talk him. Can I say, I said shit. Like three times. I think I've said fuck a bunch. Okay, good. Okay, good. I'm always like, is that allowed? You see whatever you want, as long as it's not like really bad.

Oh, it's really bad. I don't know, something xenophobic or like racist or is that like really awful. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like if you had a Kanye meltdown and started talking about like, how much you like Hitler, I'd be like, well, I don't think we can air that. I think that might be bad. Get out of the studio is what I would hope. You can curse all you want.

But I don't want to shit talk him. But he, when we were seeing each other, he was very much like, well, if I'm out a show of yours and someone says something I don't like, like, it's going to make me uncomfortable. And I was like, well, you can watch. walk away or you can say something back and be like

that's my girl I don't know like there's options he was worried about people saying stuff to him like during a show I don't know

it was really weird that is strange because I'm like what is someone possibly going to say that's going to make him uncompl like

I don't know like wow she's hot yeah right she's not hot she's my hello like that's what What are we doing?

She's so mid. She's mid. I don't like her. Why do you like her more than I like her? I'm dating her. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, maybe he was worried they'd be like, oh my God, she shouldn't be on that stage.

She's terrible. But then you just... That's my girlfriend. No, she's good. I like her. Yeah, like shut up and then walk away. That's what I would do. But whatever.

But yeah, I've had more people I've dated that don't like it than do like it. But I like to take people to a. a show that I'm in, or like just go to a show together to see what their vibe is. Interesting. Because some people are like, you should just keep it a secret and wait and reveal it. But it's like, it's a huge part of my, it's my life. Yeah. They got to know up front.

And I need to know what their vibe is up front. Do you tell them on like the first date or? I usually do. Yeah, I usually do. And I did, it's funny. I had someone who I found on hinge that I went on a date with. and we were talking. We went on like a whole day date.

It was so fun. And then a night we needed food at a restaurant. And I brought up burlesque, I think, because I was like, let me hold off and not say anything. I brought it up later. And he was like, oh, yeah, you do a storm act to ACDC, Thundersruck. And I'm like, yeah. He's like, oh, I used to follow you.

Like a long time ago. And then I unfollowed a bunch of people. And so I was like, so the whole time I think you knew who I was. And now you're trying to pretend like you did. It's kind of weird. I mean, we're still friends occasionally. That is weird. Yeah, I was kind of like, huh, interesting.

Did you know this whole time? That is, okay, that's a weird thing where I've gone back and forth with on this podcast where I'm like, tell me up front, you know who I am. Tell me on the first date. Or I'm like, don't be weird. Wait and be cool about it. And I think it really comes down to like vibes. Yeah. Like, what are your vibes?

if you're chill, honest, I think it's like, if it's the right person, it doesn't matter when they reveal that they, like, knew you. But I do think it's weird to be like, oh, I know all these specific things about you. It's because I used to follow you and then I unfollowed you. But it's like, you could very casually be like, oh, yeah, I do know you duper less. Hope that's not weird. Yeah. I've, like, seen you on Instagram.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have to be weird about it. Not at all, not at all. Because then I'm sat there and my whole brain is like, spinning like what do they know what have they seen do they like it do they not like it is this like I don't know you know your brain is kind of spins my brain spins my brain spins my brain spins too my current it's funny to go current we're fine but he I think it was like our third date I was like I don't think I ever told you what I do and he was like oh I do I know what you do I know I was like

oh okay he's like I don't know you just were pretty forthcoming about talking about about stuff and I didn't want to make it weird and like ask invasive questions. Yeah. And he's like, I figured you would just tell me what I needed to know. And I was like, oh, ooh, you chill as hell. Like, this is different and exciting. Yeah, it was really nice. I love that.

Yeah. I love that for you. What's one of the worst dates you've been on? Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. I'm trying to, I'm going to try to condense it because someone asked me this question not too long ago.

And I was like, ah, I haven't been on that many terrible dates. And then, like, hours into the outing we had, I was like, oh, fuck. No, I know one. I got one. I got a good one. Okay. I mean, it's not that great. I don't want to hype it up too much.

But anyway. No, hype yourself up. This is going to be the best story that y'all have ever heard. I can't fucking wait. The best bad date story ever. So I was in the UK on Hinge. Found this guy. His picture was, like, half of his face, right?

First red flag. Second red flag, he said he was a DJ and a poet. it. Oh my God. This is very like Phantom of the opera. I love it. This is modern day phantom. But I was like, you know what? Why not just give it a go? I'm just trying to like put myself out there. So we went to Alexandra Palace, like up on a hill. It's a giant massive park. I don't know if you've ever been there. I haven't. Huge. So he took the bus. No, I took the bus. He drove. Anyway, that's part of the story. So we're walking around this park for hours and hours, like getting like far away from the car and the bus stops. And he's barely talking. So I'm like, okay, I'm having to pull so much out of him. So finally I go.

You know, we have this topic of, like, we're on a date. So many people, like, stop talking to people after they know one thing about them that doesn't fit their other vibe, you know? And he's like, well, you know, I think that people should just get past those preference, those things and, like, still work it out. And I'm like, okay. Now he's chatting, right? So he's a white Irish guy. That's part of it. Art to talk.

Right? Yeah. So we're talking. He's talking a mile a minute. And he's just like, I went on this date with a girl from Florida. She was a black girl, and I go, okay, no, mental note made. He goes, she was actually like a Trump supporter, and I'm like, okay, also mental note made. And he's like, but we, you know, we still slept together, and she was all over me.

And he didn't look like someone who, and he wouldn't be all over, first of all. Oh, no. I don't follow him. We don't follow each other. I can talk shit about him. Yeah, who cares. So that happened. Then he goes, oh, yeah, then I went with the other girl, another black girl.

And I go, oh, okay, this is like a thing. This is a thing, right? So then he's like, we went to, we came to this. park before on a date. So I'm like, oh, you've been to this park with another black girl. Okay, cool. And so anyway, into the story, kind of sort of. He goes, we walked to my car and I offered to give her a ride back to her home. And we're sitting in the car and she asked me, randomly, have you ever said the N-word before, listening when you're rapping or singing music? And he paused. And I go, oh, no, he hesitated. I was like, what is his answer going to be?

And he's like, well, of course I say it because the artist puts it in the song, so I'm going to say it. And I was like, oh, God, okay? Like, at this point, I'm looking for the bus stop or car to be like, how do I get out of it? Take me out of here. So the rest of the walk, because we were still walking, I kept going because I'm an idiot, first of all. But I was also in this park where I didn't know the way out. So, you know, couldn't leave. So he persists to talk to me the rest of the time about how he was justified and using the

inward in music when he, you know, when he's singing along or rapping along. And I'm like, cool. So you're telling me a black woman from America that you can say the inward in that the other girl was, he was trying to convince her and also convince me at the same time. And then he told me that Irish people were far more oppressed than black people. And I was like, oh, my God, how do I get out of here? And then he texts me the next day to be like, I had a great time.

Let's do it again. And I just didn't respond. Good. Because that's actually unhinged. Truly wild. I just, I simply, it's, the artist put it in the song, so they want me to say it. Yeah.

That's wild. That's like watching a TV show and they're like, well, somebody murdered somebody. So clearly they want me to start murdering. That's so wild. And then it's wild to be like, the Irish were more oppressive. than black people.

Yeah. And it's like, oh, they weren't giving loans out to Irish people. They burned down Irish Wall Street? Yeah. Oh, okay. Cool. That's so wild. I thought I was being pranked.

And I kind of repressed it. I pushed it in the back of my mind and forgot about it until someone did ask me, what's the worst? And I'm like, oh, right. There you go. Brain. Kick into gear. Bring it up.

Because I was like, I'm just going to forget this ever happened. This was an experience. Yeah. It's fine. You know, the good thing about it is it happened. overseas so you can just leave it over there. This is true. God, that's so wild. I wonder what he's doing now. Probably still talking to black people, convincing them we can use the N-word. Practicing saying it. He's like, I'm going to say it. It's going to sound so natural. It's going to sound so good. I thought he was going to say it,

honestly, on the date. And I thought, if he says it, what am I going to do? Do I run? Do I? I'm so grateful that The whites in my life have not tested me. Yeah. They have not said it. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, because it's like, what do you do? Yeah.

I don't know. It's like, hey, hey, hey, white, you can't do that. That's not good. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. I once had my best friend and I, we were getting ready for a show at someone's house. It was like a private thing.

And this woman whose older walks in and she's like, oh, we're all getting ready. She's like, oh, I love burlesque. I used to go to this club. she's older in the 70s back in the day and we had this black guy that lived in the neighborhood and everyone loved him and he was called inward gym I think or so inward something and she didn't say N word she said it with the ER and I was doing my makeup like I will tell you this this is bad I don't mind when older people say it because you're like I don't know it's of a time I mean I'm sure they have been told, don't say it, but it's really hard to teach.

What is it? It's hard to teach an old dog, something new. Yeah, new tricks. Oh, new tricks or whatever. So I'm just like, I don't know, you're old. It's in your bones. And I don't think she was saying it with hate. No, she wasn't.

That's just what we call to. And it's like, oh my God. I don't, for whatever reason that doesn't bother me. It was so shocked. It was like my, I wasn't expecting it. I was just like, and I froze. And then my best friend, he froze. And we were just like, and she left.

And we both were like, did you, did she just say that? So wild. She was like the racism fairy. She appeared and she was like, I'm going to say it with a hard eye. And then I'm going to lead. And it's like, oh, my God. I think that's what it was. She was the fairy.

That's jarring. Yeah, it was jarring. It happens. Real quick, we do have to take a break. Okay. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. You know what's sexy? Having a clean, gorgeous website that actually works.

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slash date me for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash date me to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash date me. Wait, okay. So you get into Burlesse, when did you start performing? So we had a graduation show after that series of classes. And we all created an act. And the instructors helped us create the one act we did. And I did, my first act ever was she wants to move by NERD. Oh, that's a good song.

Yeah, which was like, in my brain, right, I was like, okay, burlesque has to be fever. What's the other one that people do? Oh, my God. The other classic songs, like summer. It's about, oh, my gosh, I can't even think. It's about summer. Anyway, Summer girls LFO.

No, no, oh my gosh. Summertime. Is that the one summertime? Whatever. Anyway, not that, not the sublime. It's like old, old, old. Some, I don't know songs. I don't know why I'm trying to help you.

I simply do not know the lyrics to any song front to back. Anyway, it was like super classic burlesque in my head. It's like what I was thinking. And then I had an instructor. once. It was like, I dance to whatever, hip hop, R&B. And I was like, what? And then my mind was forever changed. And so I did NERD. She wants to move. Graduation show in 2009. And I don't remember it. Did you like blackout? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if that happens to you as a comedian on stage. Like, do you have moments where you just... I have moments now where autopilot happens.

Like, if I fly in, I'm on my period. The plane was. late. It was hard to check into the hotel. Like, and then, you know, the Uber took a left turn when I was supposed to go right on the way to the show. And there's like a ton of stuff going on and I'm not in the mood to perform. Yeah. I'm like, well, these people paid and I have to give them something. So sometimes it's like an autopilot where it's like I disassociate where I'm like, I personally want to look at a wall and not deal with anything because today was hard. But I'm like, I have to do it. So it's, yeah, it's not like a blackout. It's like I'm very conscious that I'm in front of people. Yeah. But I'm just going through the motions and

I get that. It's wild. In a weekend, because I'll do like five shows a weekend when I'm doing a club, I'll like have one show that I'm like, that was good. And good means I was maybe on a little bit of autopilot. And then shows that are really fun. During the show, I'll say something that surprises me. And then I'll start giggling. Like, there was one show at the Wilbur Theater where I kept doing this bit that was making me laugh really hard. And then, in turn, they were laughing because they were like, what is it happening? And then I was like, I'm having a great time.

And then, like, later I was like, wait, are you guys having a good time? That's what I know I'm, like, very involved. But I'm like, I'm having the best time of my life. I love that. I love that. There's nothing that makes me laugh. more probably than a comedian laughing at, giggling at their own jokes. It's like infectious. I get that. But I love that you're like, I hope you all are having a great time. Probably like 15 minutes in laughing. Yeah, I mean, sometimes people, in interviews, I've had people

be like, you laugh at, and I've talked about this a lot. They're like, you laugh at your own jokes. And I'm like, yeah, man, I left my house. I hope I think this is fucking funny. What are we doing? I'm delighted by me. I can have fun all by myself. Who doesn't think their jokes are funny? I mean, I think people think their jokes are funny, but a lot of people like dead, like when they do deadpan or like detached irony, and you're like, that's just, that's not my style.

I'm like, no, no, this is a, this is silly. I'm being silly. I wore a burlesque outfit for the opening of my special on Netflix BBW. It's a little hamburger outfit that I found from this lady. I think she's in New Zealand. Yes. And she makes a, what, it's star, stellar or stellar apparel.

I wish I could remember what it was called. I love that. But yeah, she like asked for my measurement. She made it to measure. And then there was like little nipple things, like little lettuce nipple covering. And I was like, oh, I simply can't go that far. The pasties. Yes.

Letus pasties. Yes. I feel like I see a burlesque act brewing in your future. No, I don't find myself inherently sexy. And I know burles doesn't have to be sexy. Yeah. I know it can be silly. But, like, for whatever reason, I don't know.

I just don't see it for myself. It's the same thing with pole dancing. Like, I'll never do it genuinely. Like, I would never. Like, I just don't find myself sexy. And I don't think I have anything that people want to see. That's not true. That's not true.

I think you have everything everybody wants to. to see. And I feel like I didn't have, I still, to this day, I mean, I'm sat here and, like, makeup and a wig and leopard print, which makes you feel like, I think I'm sexy. But day to day, I don't feel that. And so, like, I feel like burlesque helps me, like, build it. Do you know, does that make sense? Like, I get on stage and I'm like, here goes nothing. What do you do to, like, prepare? Gosh, that's a big question. I guess leading up to it, like, weeks, days, what have you, I'm practicing in my head in my car because I sit in traffic 24-7.

So some of my practice happens while I'm in the car. And people probably look over and they're like, why is she twitching and peeling a fake glove off of her hand? That's really funny to just be driving around being like, it happens.

It does happen. It does happen sometimes, especially at stoplights. And I'm just like, shoulder twitches. I'm sure people think it's wild. Well, they're really like you're dancing to the music. I,

Sometimes when I drive, a real treat will happen where I'll think of a punchline to a joke that I've either never thought of before or have been working on and I'll be in my car and I'll like throw my head back and laugh so hard and then I have to like scramble to get my phone and then like try to write it down

before it leaves my head. Oh wow. Is that the process? No. It happens every so often. No, my process is bad. Most people write jokes. I truly, I like think of something. I'll be like, And then before a show, I'll do like a show in L.A.

And backstage, I'll be like, hey, y'all think this is funny? And if they go, yes, I go, all right, I'm going to try it. And then sometimes somebody will be nice and be like, oh, I'll watch you. And then give you some tags. Yeah. I love that. I love that. I did Stamptown.

Have you seen Stamptown? No, what's that? Oh, my God. It is unhinged. It happens at the Elysian Theater, which is funny. Because I saw you live there, and I had never, no idea that theater existed in the city. I mean, it is right off the highway, tucked away, and you're like, what? It really is.

But I did Stamptown there, and Zach Zucker is like the host and the big comedian there. It is, it's undescribable how wild that show is. People are like, it's a chaotic fever dream. And I'm like, ah, that's funny. And then I did it. And you're like, no, it's a chaotic fever dream. Very much that. But he does a similar thing, like, before the show.

He's like, is this funny? Is this work? And everyone's like, yeah, that works. Not all his jokes. I don't want to spill his tea, I'm sure. But before the show, he's just like, you know, let's test this one out. And, yeah, it's really interesting to see that process. Well, because it's like, I'm home alone and I can say whatever I want to my dog Clyde,

and he's just going to look at me. And then he's never going to tell me what's actually funny because he doesn't fucking know. He doesn't leave the house often enough. He doesn't get the people experience. No, he doesn't because he bites. And then I get sued. Oh, no. Have I talked about this in the podcast?

I don't think you've admitted it on the show before. Oh, no. Yeah, my dog doesn't get to go anywhere because he bit a server at a stand-up club that I was doing shows at over the weekend. And they didn't tell me it happened the day it happened. And I've been back since there's no bad blood, which is very, very kind of nice. But yeah, he bit a server because I had asked a friend to watch him. She wasn't watching him. And then he bid her.

And then I had to go through my insurance. because I guess if you have like homeowners insurance or like rental insurance your dog is under that because it's in the house I guess So you know State Farm They handled it

Those commercials they get you They did they're very kind State Farm was on my side I don't know what their slogan is We are No that's farmers But they helped And now he doesn't get to go fucking anywhere

Oh no he's on like time out. Kind of. And I saw a pet psychic. And I was like, can you ask him why he's biting people? And she was like, well, he doesn't want anybody in his space. And I was like, okay. And she said that he thinks people are rude. And then this woman said to me that my dog would prefer for people to not come in my place to stay outside and for me to entertain them outside. And I was like, are you kidding? You 12. pound little animal, you don't want people in the house? What are you talking about? Then she said, he's heard me talk about the beach a bunch and he wants to go to the beach. And I was like, he just heard about the beach. And then she said, I don't know what this is, but he really wants eggs. Oh my God. And I was like, what? So this dog wants to, he don't want people in the house. He wants to go to the beach and he wants to eat eggs. And he also thinks people are rude, which is not wrong sometimes. I mean, he's not wrong. He's not wrong.

but like this isn't your house and if somebody comes in you don't just bite them this is true let's not be crazy also that weekend of shows my friend who's supposed to be watching him wasn't watching him

and I guess he bit the server and then ran he figured out where the stage was I don't know how he did that but I mean it wasn't super hard and then he ran out on stage and I was like doing my clothes and I was like that's my dog

wait that's my dog oh no I'm sorry he put the server Maybe he wanted eggs and they didn't have it. But guess what? It's a comedy club, sir. We got to go to a brunch spot if you fucking want eggs. I can't believe he wants eggs. Isn't that weird?

That is weird. That is, and the beach. Like, how do they know? How does the psychic? I don't know. Whatever. It's their process, I guess. Okay.

We'll go back to burlesque in a second, but I'm obsessed with this pet psychic. And this pet psychic said that my friend's dog was wondering why so many people come into their house. and she said, the dog is wondering if there's some sort of e-commerce in the house. And my friend was like, so my dog doesn't understand that it has to go to the bathroom outside all the time, but understands e-commerce. And I was like, don't ruin this for me. Don't ruin the mystery of a pet psychic. Oh, my gosh.

What? What? Was the psychic curious about e-commerce? Maybe. She was like, I have questions about e-commerce and shopping and whatnot. Wait, how did you develop? your burlesque act? Because you don't have a character per se. I don't. I don't have a character. I always tell people that my burlesque persona on stage is like who I am inside that I rarely let come out, that I'm

working on getting out more and more. Like a Sasha Fierce, if you will. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. I like that comparison. I am Sasha Fierce. I wish. You all Sasha Fier's. We all have a little Sasha Fierce. Yeah, Just Bell Thunder is not quite a character. It's just me deep down. But the name kind of came from like my sister was helping me figure it out. Jay Thunder was a nickname I had from friends. Don't know why. Don't know why.

The story they tell me is that, because they're stupid, is this guy friends, right? It's noted. They told me that they were playing ready to rumble video game. It's probably almost a little bit racist, maybe. I don't know. I don't know this video game. Yeah, I don't know. There's one black character.

Okay. His name is Afro Thunder. Okay. So they thought, it was funny, like, Jay Thunder. And that just stuck for some reason. Well, Afro Thunder. Ready to rumble. What were the other characters names?

I don't know. I have no idea. I have no idea. But Jay Thunder came from a video game of character called Afro Thunder. And so Jay Thunder has been a nickname I've had for years because of them. And it's a weird story. I like it. I think it's fun.

Wait, what are like the different... Wait, I do know the different styles of burlesque because it's here. Ooh, the notes, the notes. So there's super classic. Mm-hmm. There's cheesecake. Okay. Do you know cheesecake?

Cheesecake is like very pin-upy, you know, kind of strutting around and posing. Oh, like Betty Boob? Yeah, like those people always have perfect pictures when they come back from shows. Mm-hmm. My pictures are always wild. Like my wonky, like my eyes are... I look drunk. I look, like, crazy.

I look, my pictures are, because my hair's, like, in my face, it's just, but cheesecake is very like, I'm just, I'm cute and I'm here. Okay. Yeah, it's not bad. It's, it's a vibe. There's also, wait, what is super classic? Super classic. It can be different from cheesecake, but it's just, I think people think, like, vintage vibes, right? Like 40s, 50s, I guess.

Classic nowadays could be 90s, which is really sad. I wonder what that would look like, actually. You really just, like, rocked me. That is wild because, like, the 90s is kind of vintage. Yeah, but it happened like yesterday. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm a 90s kid, so this is, it blows my mind all the time

when people are, like, vintage 90s, like, no. In Back to the Future, how many years does he go back? Oh, 40? 30. No. I don't know. A lot. Mars is typing so fast. She's on the case.

Mars is on the case. He's accidentally sent 30 years into the past. Okay. So yeah, the 90s is, oh my God. The 90s is like 30 years from now. So Back to Future was set now, he'd be going to a 90s fucking cafe, which is going to be Chili's because they have a 90s

margarita right now is pretty good. What is the 90s? It's called a radical Rita. You better believe it's color changing. It's just pink and blue. And if you stir it up, it turns purple. And that's not color changing. That's just color theory.

But I had a nice time at Chili's. Oh my God, that's amazing. They're having a comeback. Is that Chili's? You got to go. The Chili's in Encino was popping. There was a fucking wait. We waited like 30 fucking minutes.

Chili's has the bottomless tortilla chips? No. Which one is that? I don't remember. Yeah, if you get skillet caseo, it comes with tortilla chips. And I believe they're bottomless. Oh, okay. But I got a sizzling fajita.

And the man who brought it to me went, it was sizzling out of the kitchen. Sorry, it stopped. And I was just. And I was like, I guess it's okay. Well, re-sizzle it, please. Yeah, sizzle again. Fucking figure out the sizzle, man.

But it was so good. The steak was so good. Really? I love Chili's, baby bag of ribs. Bring that back. They still do that? Is that their theme now? Still?

No. I don't know. I love a good jingle. Well, in the 90s, they had those men singing, I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, Chili. Anyway. That was so good. I am all over the place.

I do not. I think I took my ADHD medicine. Wait, I'm following, though. I'm with you. That makes me happy. Thank you. So Parade and Peel. Okay.

Which is like a cheesecake classic combo. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Neo-Berlesque. Yes, that is like the resurgence of burlesque, which incorporated more body types, more like inclusivity, more like genres of burlesque and stuff like that. Like, that's neo. Some people would say, like, I'm Neo, but I think I'm a mix of all the things.

I don't know. It's whatever I feel like. I don't want to be Neo, because that reminds me of The Matrix. Like with stand-up, I feel like, or not I feel like, like after you do jokes for a certain amount of time and then like, say you tape them for something, those jokes are dead. You don't really do them anymore. So do you do that with routines? Like, do you kill routines or you just do them? No, I just keep doing them until people tell me a stop.

I don't know. I don't know. Like, I used to have a Bollywood act, and people were like, don't do that. And so I was like, oh, I didn't know. Back in the day, we didn't know. We weren't, you know, we didn't think about these things, right? I mean, I think so. I love Bollywood things. So I was just like, well, I'm just going to, yeah, I'm going to do it.

And people were like, don't do that. And so I said, okay. And now that's done. But every other act I do, I still do from like the beginning days. I, that's happened to me. I had a domestic violence joke. and I thought it was funny and then I did it

and then a bunch of people messaged me and they were like it's not funny and I was like well and then I have a thing where I'm like I don't want to apologize for telling the joke because I thought it was funny in the moment

but now I understand that that is not funny it's not my experience I wrote it and it's not great and I just won't do it anymore that's the apology I will retire it I like that kind of apology not just like I'm sorry and it's done

yeah no it's like I acknowledge that it's not great. But at the time, I really thought it was funny. Yeah. And at the time, other people probably thought it was hilarious, too. Yes. Some people.

Some people. But obviously, no. Not the people who messaged me, which I, you know, great for, like, I'm actually thankful that they did. Yeah. But it's like, I don't know, I'm never going out there trying to be malicious. And I'm sure your Bollywood Act wasn't trying to be malicious. Yeah.

No, I was just like, this. I take classes and I love this. And I love Bollywood movies. Oh, my God. When I'm on a plane, it'll take five hours of your plane. I travel to watch a Bollywood film. Really? Please do it.

They're so, they have everything. They have drama. They have comedy, music. There's one on Netflix that I want to watch, and I can't remember the name of it. There's so many on Netflix. Too many. Also, apparently, I don't know if this is true, Netflix is like rolling out AI fucking ads. And I'm like, why?

Why are we doing AI ads? AI ads? I don't get, okay, what is the goal with AI? What is the goal? What is the goal? What is the goal with, like, self-alphal? automating cars. If no one's driving me around, what are they doing? If no one's doing entry-level jobs like coding and shit and the AI is doing it, what do the people do? Well,

what's the goal? The goal is to end humanity. We've all seen the movies. The goal is to end humanity and the robots take over. I don't know why people keep messing with AI. I mean, it can be fun, right? Chat TPT's like, no. I don't do it. I don't understand it. I do it every once in a while. I don't. Let me just test it and see. Because people keep saying that they're like, it uses a bunch of water and then there's like AI farms near towns or their water's all fucked up. Oh no. I didn't hear that part. Yeah. It's not good for the environment. No. We're also making it smarter. I think people forget. People, we've all seen these movies. Yes, we're teaching it. Forget. We're teaching it. Yeah. And we're teaching it how to be smarter and

smarter. And then we're going to go, we're going to all be gone. But what are we doing? Like, what do we do? If people aren't in movies and it's all AI generation, it. So those actors just don't act? What do they do? If someone's not taking the order at McDonald's, what do they do? Where are we going? What is going to happen? I know, I know. We're all going to be like idiocracy. Have you seen that movie? No, I've never seen it. I know that the costume director was like, I need ugly shoes and found crocs. Yeah, I heard that. And then put crocs in the movie and was like, nobody will wear these. And now we're all wearing crocs. I love crocs. I can't get down with crocs. Are you kidding? They're the most comfortable

shoe you'll ever slip on your damn feet. It molds to your fucking feet. I have leperprint ones that say good pussy and I got Sonic all over them, Sonic Jibbitts. I'm having a good time with my crocs. Wow. I guess I should watch that movie because people have talked about it a lot to me. Yes. So in the movie, all the humans, most of them, I think, if not all, are sat in recliners that are also toilets, just eating tubs of lard. Maybe that's what's going to happen to everybody. I don't want to live like that. I don't either, but. I don't. I don't. I I'm like, where's Tom Cruise? He loves movies.

He should go to Congress to be like, stop AI from taking away the thing that matters the most to me. Where's Arnold Schwarzenegger? I don't know. No, he was a bot. No, he was the Terminator. Yeah. He was, but he became good. But then there's other Terminators who are bad.

Right, right, right. We need him. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't get it. If the AI writes the scripts, what do the people do who write scripts? Sitting on toilet recliners. I don't want to sit on a toilet recliner.

I don't want to shit where I eat. That's disgusting. We've all been told not to do that. Yes. It's nasty. I'm worried. I'm so worried. What is life?

What are we all going to do? Imagine it AI me. And you can get whatever episode of War will you date? What will I do? This is where I'm having like an existential crisis right now. I didn't take my medicine and I'm worried about humanity. Change the subject. medicated and not worry anymore.

Oh my gosh. Anyway, real quick, we got to take a break. Let's talk about the time that both of us broke our ankles. Ooh, that's fun. Is that in the notes? I wonder. I was so curious to see what the assistant was going to say. She has broke.

Okay, embarrassing stories from performing burles. She has broken her ankle performing. She got her period immediately before performing. Oh, damn, that's a deep cut. Oh, that's a deep cut. Oh, that's great. Lindsay. That's a good.

Well done. Wait, how did you break your ankle? Performing. Yeah. Was it in a heel? It was in a dance heel. So not even like that. I was on the ground.

It was like 20 seconds into my act. At a bar, I had never performed up before. I was substituting for a friend of mine. And she's like, yeah, you can dance on the bar, dance on the tabletop. And I walked in. I was like, I'm just going to be safe in dance on the floor. And I broke my ankle. I broke a whole ankle.

on both sides. My left ankle had to have surgery emergency surgery the next day. I've never broken a bone before my life. So. Wow, you got good insurance. I didn't get surgery the next day. I had to wait like a fucking week.

That bill was intense, though. Yes. It was a lot. It was like $60,000 without insurance. Yeah. But I thank God. Yeah, after his good insurance and I was covered.

Yeah. But I was like, this is nuts. If you don't fucking have insurance. Oh, yeah. Like your life is over. That's like a down payment on big things. I can't think of a simple, like, just, I couldn't think of any thing. I was like a down payment on something.

Some adult thing. Something. I don't know. But yeah, I did, I just did a spin in the middle of the room, kicked my leg up in the air, just dropped to the ground. And I was like, you know, my brain was like, oh, my God, this is embarrassing. My first time here, you fucking get up. Get up, bitch, get up. So I kicked, I did the floor work, right?

Like, you know, in the whole class, like, oh, sexy on the floor. So I did a little floorwork. kicked my leg up, and sorry if this is a TMI for people, but my foot was hanging to this side. So I was like, that's weird, and I pushed it back. And then I stood up again. Oh, my God. And I collapsed to the floor, and I sat there. I think you were in shock.

I was confused. I'm like, that's weird. And I just like, let's keep going because this is embarrassing. And I stood up again, fell to the ground again. And I looked at the bartender, and I was like, cut the music. Like, cut it. I think something's wrong. that's wild.

I think you were fully in shock because when I broke my ankle I took a tumble down the stairs and John Milheiser, my old roommate John Milheiser famously said, did you fall as he looked at me on the ground? I have never been angrier

at somebody because I was on the floor my ankle was a U-turn and he said, did you fall and I was like, you heard this big body fall down the stairs you heard the doof the doof the doflop like you heard it all

did you fall? I was so mad. Damn. And then I was not in pain until I got to the hospital. Like, I was just fully in shock. Yeah. I remember being like, my foot is so close to my face. I'm not stretching.

And then the paramedics came, and I was, like, making jokes. And at one point, they, like, were, like, half laughing. And John had to be like, she's funny, so you can just laugh. She's funny. Just in case you didn't know, she's hilarious. She's funny, so you got to just go with it. And then it took six to seven men to get me out of my home. Oh, no.

And I said, wow, this is fun. I love this. Were any of them good looking? No. Actually, I don't remember. I was like in a fucking blur. Yeah. And I also said they were going to give me fentanyl.

They were like, do you know what fentanyl is? And I was like, yes. I'm like, we're going to give that to you. And then they didn't give it to me. Because I think they thought I was like a drug seeker, but I was like, I could get drugs on my own. I don't have to throw myself down the stairs for drugs. I have several people I can call. Why would they think that?

Because I'm a black woman. And I think they're like, oh, you nasty little drug seeker. And I was like, wasn't seeking any sort of drugs. No. They gave me oxy when I broke my ankle to recover. So I was pretty terrified to take it. So I took half of one. And it didn't work.

Oh, really? Yeah, I didn't. I still felt pain. It was really weird. They gave me morphine at the hospital. and I had like some sort of allergic reaction. I just got hot and itchy and the pain did not go away. And then my surgeon was like, okay, here's how you take these painkillers.

I don't remember which ones I got. He was like, take him. Take him for the first week, like as prescribed. And then after a week, only take them to like go to sleep so you're not in pain. But just like remember, you have a rod in your ankle. That hurts. He's like, you're going to be in pain. If there's no pain, you're taking too many.

And then I was like, oh. If there's no pain, you're taking too many. Yeah, he was like, there's a rod in your ankle. So if you have no pain, you're taking too many of these painkillers. But you don't want to be in pain. You kind of have to be in a little bit of pain. He was like a little bit of discomfort's not going to kill you. You have a rod in your ankle.

And I liked that. I said, that makes sense. But then, like, after a week, I was like, I need my pills. And then I was like, I see how people get addicted to this shit. Because it's nice. It's nice. And then he was like, don't drink on this. And I said, I will have wine. And then I would have a nice glass of wine and

swim on my couch. And by swim, I mean, it really felt like I was swimming at times. It was a nice. It was nice, but I don't recommend breaking. How long were you, like, out of commission? I was determined to get back to my life. So I think it was pretty on par. Like, they told me, so I didn't feel the pain in the hospital until the doctor came on FaceTime, right? Because it was like COVID times, like hardcore. So on FaceTime, he's like, you'll be out for so. six to eight months. And the tears were streaming down my face. Not really because the pain so much because I was just like,

just my life, like roller skating, dancing, like what, like what? And that's when I felt all the shock. I also got wheeled in in full costume, by the way. I wish someone had a video of that. I love that. All right. My friend, um, Meatball, I believe broke their hip in full drag. I was at a drag show.

I don't know if they went to the hospital in drag. I should text her. I think I've heard that story. That's wild. Ooh, you roller skate? I do. And people are like, did you break it roller skating? I'm like, I wish that was the story.

I broke it with a little kitten heel on. Which honestly, I think is fun. Trying to take my clothes off. That's the best. I wish I was better at roller skating. One of these days, I'm going to get back into it. I'm still scared to get back into it. Because your ankle.

Yes. Oh, but it makes you stronger. Like people told me that. They're like, you'll just come back stronger. And I was like, shut up. That's not true. But it is true. I don't think it's true.

I was roller skating before I was putting on a heel again. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Because I'm just now comfortable in my, like, stripper shoes, my pleasers. And I do wear a boot for extra stability. That's smart. But at home, I practice in a sandal to try to help the little ankle get stronger. Yeah.

I'm like four, five years out from breaking it and it's still, like when it rains, I'm like, ah. My ankle hurts. And then sometimes I have to do like extra stretching so it like gets unsticky, which is fucking annoying. That is. No, I was, I think I broke it October 2021 and then I was back in a dance shoe in early March of 2022. I was determined. I was fucking determined. I was like, I'm not sitting here. I think I broke mine. Let's see. I think it was either. I think it was. I think it was. November 2020. And I think I was in a boot by February. So walking by February. But like all of December I was like in a scooter and crutches. It was so, it was awful. It was awful. I got, I had a person

I was in a situation ship, bought me an I walk. It's like a peg leg. Oh, that is fun. It was pretty fun. You like strap it to your knee. Yes, I was trying to find one of those and I couldn't. So that's why I went my little knee scooter. Yeah. They told me to get a scooter. And I'm like, no. I was also driving still with like a boot on. That's, I think, very illegal. Is it? Yeah. I had like, it was my left, so I don't use my left. I was just like right. Oh, then you were fine. I don't know why I was like, you broke your right. That's the one I broke. And that's illegal. That would be wild. No, I was determined to not sit around. I sat around for two weeks and did nothing. And I'm like, no, I'm going to take a shower. I'm going to shower. I'm going to get off. couch. So I think that like mentality helped me probably heal. Wow. You did much better than me.

I, it was, wait, I did that to myself. This is nuts. So my bathroom is upstairs. But I do have a bathroom downstairs. And I should have put the shower chair downstairs. Instead to shower, I would drag my body up the stairs. Like, just like, struggling. and then, like, pull myself onto, like, my shower chair. Why didn't I shower downstairs? Listen, I did the exact same thing. I had a shower chair, too. I actually also had what I call a foot condom from Amazon.

Have you seen that? Interesting. It's like a suction cup that goes around your leg and you pull it over your boot and it goes under your kneecap and it kind of suction there. It's like a giant, like, leg condom. I wish I had that. I did this all wrong. I mean, I would just, like, hold it over the tub.

Yeah. Whatever. Oh, maybe I did the trash bag. Maybe that's what I did. I did a trash bag, you tape it up. And then I was like, this, there has to be something on Amazon. And then Amazon came on through. Yep, they did.

Well, we have reached the end. Do you have any advice for single people out there who might be listening or watching? Ooh, damn. I've kind of given up hope. You know what? Okay. I don't have, I mean, don't give up everybody else. No, but I think it's okay to give up for a little bit. There has been periods of my life where I'm like, I give up. I don't know. I simply don't know. This is not for me. This is bad. No one's approaching. I'm like, oh, anyone, you want to come forth and put effort in? And they're like, no. I'm like, okay.

No, thank you. I simply don't want it. Let me carry on for my life then. Okay. I think that's good advice. Give up. If that's what you're feeling in the moment, give up. Take a break, maybe. Take a break. Take a break. No, give up. Give the fuck up. And then take your time and come back.

Well, do you have anything that you want to promote? I have a brown sugar burlesque, which is like an all black burlesque review that I do with a co-producer Mariah. We're hoping to come back. We need sponsors. Anyone out there? And then my Instagram. I'm traveling to Europe in October for like a mini tour, so I won't be here. I just have shows all over the place.

If people have money, I will come and take my clothes off. Did you hear overseas? So if you're in Ireland and like saying the N-word, there's a show for you to go to. Just kidding. Ooh, would you date me? Yes, 100%. We'd have the best time. Thank you.

With our matching ankles. No, our opposite ankles. Our opposite ankles. So if we combine them, nobody can walk good. Well, if you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, You Can Like It, You Can Rate It, You Can Subscribe. You can give me five stars on Apple Podcasts. If you write me something nasty to Why Won't You Date Me Podcasts at gmail.com, I will read it. Send them in, please.

I don't know for running low. Mars hasn't told me. We are. We are running low. No, get them in. Send them in. This lovely person writes, let's have a romantic date night in my basement sex dungeon. Oh.

I'll strap you into a harness that lets you bounce like a human shake weight. This is fun. While I eat you out with goggles on? Well, come on. Just for the splash zone. I'm not that juicy. You'll come so hard. You'll knock over my taxidermy collection.

Oh, you're a freak. We'll call it love from someone anonymous. Thank you, Anonymous. That was nice. Bye-bye! Yay! Oh, you've been listening to Why Won't You Date Me with me, Nicole Beyer. This show is produced and edited by Mars with executive producer Anya Kennefkaya. It's engineered by Casey Donahue.

With guest research by Lindsay Kempf. Our VP of Content at Headgum is Katie Moose. And our Thieve music is arranged by Mike Komete. Thanks for listening We'll be back next week With a brand new episode See you then Okay, bye bye

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