Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Do Men Not Like Funny Women? (w/ Drew Lynch)

Episode Date: April 29, 2022

Comedian and friend Drew Lynch (America's Got Talent S10) chats with Nicole about a harrowing bee incident they had together on tour, managing high levels of anxiety, and why female comics have such a hard time attracting men. Plus, Nicole's horny for emo Batman, and explains why she loves giving blowjobs so much. Black Lives Matter. Click here for an updated list of over 100 different things you can do to support racial justice.   Follow Nicole Byer: Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerNew Merch!! podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Ooh, baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Tweet Me? A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, tries to figure out how she's still single, even though you could come in the charging port of my phone, clock it all up, say, I'll never clean it, dummy.

And I would say, well, I guess that's how my phone is now. My guest today is a hilarious comedian and actor who captured the hearts of America on season 10 of America's Got Talent, where he finished in second place. His hour stand-up special, Concussed, can be streamed on YouTube. I am joined by the wonderful, incredible Drew Lynch. Thank you, Nicole. I'm so glad you included the cum part too in the beginning. Oh, yes, yes, yes. You know, you got to keep it nasty.

Well, that's part of all my intros, but I'm just so glad you said it. How are you? It's good. I'm so glad, but I'm just so glad you said it. How are you? It's good. I'm so glad that we finally got to do this. Me too. You're busy. You're so busy. It's really cool to see how busy you are and see that you're losing your mind at the same time. Oh, the mind has been lost. It's long gone. Are you traveling right now?

Yeah, I'm in Hawaii right now. And that's what took us so long for the setup. She was like, do you have this? And I was like, no, I normally travel with that, but I don't have that. And literally, the microphone that I'm using from my fiance's phone is balanced on fucking protein powder right now because that's the thing that was closest to my mouth. I thought that was a jar of mayonnaise, and I was trying so hard not to fucking judge you. I was like, damn, who really likes mayonnaise like that? Well, we have that cum intro, and so I want that synthetic, that synthetic good fats cum.

That synthetic cum that people glop onto sandwiches. I mean, mayonnaise, yeah, if it hits a little bit of water, it does look a little cummy. I feel like mayonnaise is absolutely disgusting. I don't understand it as a condiment when there's, like, mustard. Like, mustard isn't even just mustard. Like mustard has got like different portfolios of it. You know, like there's like Sure. There's grape poupon.

Yellow mustard. See, that's what I'm saying. I'm not a mustard gal. I ordered french fries at this movie theater I was at and I asked for ranch, but what I got was honey mustard and I dipped my french fry in it and it was dark. I had no ranch but what I got was honey mustard and I dipped my french fry in it and it was dark

I had no clue I put it in my mouth I was so devastated I truly was so fucking angry I couldn't believe it I saw the Batman have you seen it? I haven't seen it is it great? True it is three hours

and I loved every second of it and I do not like superhero movies. Oh my God. I'm not crazy about, well, I'm usually not crazy about them because all of them are fucking three hours. Yes. I'm a human being that has things to do, but if you can keep your attention for three hours, then I'll for sure go see it. I looked at my phone maybe three times. And then halfway through the movie, realized I left my keys in my car. But I was like, it's been an hour and a half.

If someone's going to steal my car, it's probably already done. Turns out, spoiler, nobody stole my car, which is very nice. Your life is chaotic, dude. You stress me out every single time. You talk about the way you live. I'm an old soul. And you're just like, I'm in the moment. And I did.

Oh, my God. It stresses me out, dude. I'm so sorry. Well, I also got to the movie 10 minutes late. And then I had to sit in the front row. But the seats reclined. So, you know, my neck wasn't broken. And then ordered food.

It was all wrong. And then truly midway through an hour and a half into the movie, I was like, don't have my keys. But I was like, am I going to go all the way back out to my car? No, I'm going to watch the movie. Whatever happens, happens. Oh my God. And I truly walked to my car being like, it might not be here.

Someone may have opened the door and been like, oh, these are the fucking keys to this car. Beep, beep. Which is only something that happens in the movies yes and it didn't happen i've it's happened before you've never left your keys in the car and gone and lived your life no no no i would i check all my pockets and make sure they're they're uncomfortably bulged to wear to wear people would be like like what does he have, like fucking snacks in his shorts? Like that's because I do the same pat every time. I pat like the front.

I was like, okay, wallet's in the front left. Phone is in the front right. And then fucking phone in the back and then chapstick in the back. That's my thing. I do that, but before I leave my house, right after I've locked the house, and then when I get in the car, and then when I'm on stage, I'll do it several times on stage. You know that stool when you're on stage?

I stack that thing with personal items from my home that's how I know I see it at all times but yeah your life is just you give me anxiety dude I'm sorry I wish I was more observant like that I'm not what happened was I had

so I was like my phone and my keys those are two things I brought my phone went in my pocket and then two things I brought um my phone went in my pocket and then the parking ticket went in my other pocket and I was like those are my two things and that's how I just left my fucking keys I got my two gotta go because I understand that is like the queue of your important things is usually two you have a and and then when you were like oh this is a new piece of thing that needs to be kept, immediately your brain was like,

well, those are the two things now. So that other, the last thing is out, which was your keys. Yeah. I mean, life is tough. It's absolutely so hard. Whenever I'm like,

oh, I'm stressed. I just think about, I went to Mexico recently. It was lovely. I took mushrooms. I did karaoke and I felt free. to know you for the for the past few years. I feel like like I feel like you're someone who's not really thwarted by any sort of professional thing that you have to do. Like you're not someone who's like like like no project seems to be you don't seem stressed out ever. You know what I'm saying? Like you can do things to where – I'm sure you are, but it doesn't have the appearance. You might just be high all the time. Yeah, stoned.

I mean it's – I feel like that's something that I think is just so I see you, you're doing always like 10 things, but at the same time, you're so you seem to still just be enjoying it and having fun, not really giving a shit about the way people feel about it. Oh, thank you. I mean, I kind of do bounce around life being like,

oh, well this happened. I can't change it. So getting upset about it seems like more work than, more work than the return I'm going to get. And I like being busy because then I don't have to think about sad things in my life, like being single. Yeah.

And then I just like to work. I feel like you work hard. I feel like I really got to talk to you. This was years ago in Nashville. You had done, I don't know, like seven shows in the course of like two days and sold them all out. And I was like, this is nuts. This is wild.

And then you had Stella with you. And it was just, I was in awe of how hard you worked because I was like, I don't know if I can do seven shows in two or three days. That's a lot. That's crazy. Yeah, it is crazy. I mean, I think just, yeah, but I just think like we're also just, I think we're two different personality types just because you feeling like,

I love people who are like, well, there's no bother. Sometimes things can happen. There's no, it doesn't make sense to stress out about it, but I spend so much time stressing about everything, everything that goes wrong all the time. So I just, Really? Like what? What are you stressed about? Everything, everything all the time. Like, I feel like, um, you know, I feel like, uh, that they're like, I have a difficult time, like relaxing, you know, like when you say,

like I did mushrooms and karaoke, I would have to be forced to do that. That's something that, you know, there would be no way that I feel like I could do that unless it was a special occasion. Like I found out I was dying and then I was like, you know, that could be a good time to go do it. For real?

No, you gotta do mushrooms before you find out you're dying. Have you done mushrooms before? I've micro-dosed. I've had like a bite of a gummy. Not even the full micro. Okay, I'm gonna tell you something. I think you should trip on mushrooms. I think everybody should trip on

mushrooms at least like eight times in their life. Maybe 20. I don't really fucking know what the actual number is but it is so wonderful you feel so floaty every touch feels nice the like lights start dancing and you just you like are so happy i laughed so hard in that bar at nothing well see that's what i've, that's what I've heard. That's what I've heard. And everybody who meets me says, you're the prime candidate because you're just, you're wound like so tight.

You need to stop this. But my ego gets involved where I'm just like, well, if I want to feel good, I should be able to do it on my own. I don't need something dictating me to do that, which is, I don't know, probably ridiculous, but. It's not ridiculous. People do like to have control, but like sometimes you just can't make yourself happy or maybe you need something external to make your internals happy. Right, right, right. And I mean, I guess trying to trying to strengthen that pathway of like, if you have mushrooms enough, I'm sure eventually it, maybe eventually you come to those conclusions more easily as far as being able to find what's joy

and things like that. Maybe. I, in the beginning of the pandemic, I may have talked about it on this podcast. I don't remember, but I took a bunch of mushrooms. I had gotten mushrooms to microdose and then I figured out,

I was like, oh, you just take more than three, you trip. So I took like 16 little capsules or like 20 little capsules and then started tripping so hard. And I went outside. This is still when I smoke cigarettes, rest in peace cigarettes. I miss them. I love them. I'll never forget you. Big tobacco had a hold on me. I went outside and I tried to hug a tree because I was like this tree needs me and then that made me laugh so hard because I was like trees don't need you Nicole and I had a great time and I didn't tell my roommates I was tripping until much later it was my fun little secret Well, you have that personality anyway that they would not probably have to question if it was mushrooms or not. Which is funny that you say that because people constantly are like, are you always drunk?

And I'm like, no, this is my baseline. I'm truly just unhinged. I can't imagine. I can't imagine. Do you get like what? Do you get like tame when you're drunk? Does it have like the opposite effect? A little bit.

So I've been told by friends that they like don't know when I'm like in a blackout. I'll be like, I remember nothing. I feel really bad. And they're like, oh, you were just like slightly more wild than usual. So, yeah, it's tough to tell if I'm fucked up. It's terrifying. I know that we did Nashville together and then we had the bee incident

where we got into, I don't know if you remember this, but we had the rental car and we were at the same hotel even despite having different show times. Yes. I think your show was the second show and then I had to do the first show. And then we drove on the way to the venue.

There was a bee that got into the car that wasn't leaving. And so I think you were driving. Yeah, you were driving. Yes. And then the bee was like flying around. And you're like, you're hysterical. I'm just screaming the whole time. And it's translating to how we're swerving on in. It's not like you're like stationary in your lane and also screaming. And so I the bee was very much like in the front of the car. So I climbed into the back of the car and the bee is now resting on the passenger seat. Just screaming so loud for so long. You're like, for so long, the entire time.

Like the bee got there the first. Yeah, it was crazy too because we tried like different windows, like different windows. I think you had the windshield wipers on at one point. I had like everything go. It's so funny because I was like, I like vaguely remember the bee story. And then I was just like, oh, no, I absolutely remember that. Like, I didn't pull over to the side of the road. I didn't do anything a normal person would do.

I continued driving and screaming as this bee was like, oh, I guess I have a loud Uber. Like this Uber driver is out of her mind. This Uber driver is out of her mind. Yeah. Dude. Well, when I climbed into the back, you were like, you get up here. Yeah, I was like, you fucking left me. You can't just leave somebody.

Get back up here. You can't do that. It was the best. And then, so when we finally got to Zany's, we both kind kind of like almost like when we pulled up you know they like they were nice enough to like valet the car but when we pulled up we like jumped out of either side and you know like tuck and rolled at a car that was not moving and then we were like you know you were like there's a b there's a b and the guy you know some bearded security dude was like all right fucking i'll park it and then then and then so we did that. So we did we did that.

And then we did the shows. And then the shows, it was like, you know, whatever, like the shows, whatever. They're like between the two of us. It's like a five hour, five hours long since we got since we got there. And then we drove back and the bee was still in the fucking car. The bee was like, I live here now. I'll never leave. We forgot

about it. So you let the last thing you did when we left the car was had that like that crazy hysterical scream. And then when we got back in the car, it started and then just screamed all the way back to the hotel. It was maybe the best night of shows I've ever had before the shows.

And that's the thing. You can't tell people during the shows because it's not going to be nearly as funny as it was when it happened. But it's just one of those things that, and also, we didn't even know that, like, the B had this insane reveal where he was like, I'm just gonna still hang out here and for when they come back, like, I love a good running joke. I love a good running joke, and the

fucking B just, like, committed to that, so that was, that, I think, is probably probably what bonded us from for Nashville. That was pretty wild. That was so fucking wild. It was so funny.

It was just like this normal bee who was just like, I'm a nice guy, but I'm not going anywhere. Yeah, we reacted like we were prejudiced. I don't know. We were prejudiced about it. like prejudice i don't know like we were prejudiced about it it was like to be actually looking back at it like for it to just sit there on the seat it was just kind of like uber pool a little bit like we and we kind of reacted that way but that'd be really funny if you got into an uber and your driver screamed at you and then the other passenger just screamed at you and climbed over seats and you're like what did i do is this me or is it them? Like, I don't know.

Yeah, I know. Like, thinking about it, like, it kind of just did a thing. It kind of almost, it acted like a fly. It was a bee that acted like a fly. But we were like, no, from what we know, bees have a criminal history. So that's why, you know. But even still they don't. There's probably, there's bees that are mostly, they mostly don't sting.

That's, you know, I think. I think all bees sting. I mean, all bees sting. I just mean like not all of them are doing it all the time. Oh, yeah, yeah. Some of them are just here to chill. They're like, yeah, that's it. They're just saying hello.

I think like one person got stung like 10 years ago and everybody's like, no, bees sting. And you should. Yeah, bees got a bad rap because they stung one white lady who had a lot to say who deserved it at brunch she wanted to go to the hive manager and ask why she was stung that bitch deserved it and then the rest of us just reacted because the bee it flew around just it flew around like a few times yeah and then and then it was pretty stationary yeah it flew around a few times which i also think is reasonable

considering you were i mean yelling i didn't know somebody could yell like that that was uh i'm maybe the loudest person i've ever met i love screaming i love having a nice time you just yeah well i mean you i mean you've you've got like that it just it would be different if you person I've ever met. I love screaming. I love having a nice time. You just, yeah. I mean, you've got it would be different if you had a voice that didn't match your personality, which I think it does. Thank you.

But that was such a crazy fucking fun ride. If mushrooms are anything like that, then I'll fucking do mushrooms. I would say mushrooms are a little bit like that. Wait, Drew,

what are you doing in Hawaii? So, I'm in Hawaii. So, I actually have a show here at the Honolulu Theater, I think. Honolulu Theater. And so, the show's next... Oh, man. this is hilarious.

The show will be done by the time this airs. You always forget that. You record like nine months in advance. So the show went great. I fucking, everybody cried and they peed and everybody got the right condiments for their French fries. Everything went so well. I wish I was at that show and not the Batman. Back to the Batman.

It's so good. Robert Pattinson, so hot with the mask on. Zoe Saldana? No. Wait, Zoe Saldana's in it? No, no, no. Kravis. Zoe Kravis.

Oh, Zoe Kravis, yeah. she's in it she's hot um everyone kind of talks like this and that's kind of hot and then at one point batman i'm not ruining anything at one point he learns that he needs to go to a website and he goes the clue is url and i laughed so hard and nobody else in the theater laughed. And then I couldn't stop laughing because nobody else was laughing. I was like, this man just growled. And then the next shot was them typing on the internet. Wait, so was it supposed to be a joke in the script?

No, it was not supposed to be a joke. But I was like, a man gravelly saying URL is the funniest thing that can happen in a very serious superhero movie. I couldn't believe nobody. There was another thing that happened that I can't remember where nobody else laughed and I died. It's the best. My sister does that too. When she laughs, she's just like you. She laughs and then when no one else laughs, she thinks that's even funnier.

It is. It's crazy. It's so funny when nobody laughs when something really funny happens. I went and saw the Spider-Man movie with Sashir, and I mean, it's been out. Have you seen it? Wait, wait, wait. The, uh, fuck. It's like Spider-Man, I gotta go home.

I don't know, it's the third one. Yeah, something like that. Something with, yeah, everything's like, it's like spider-man i gotta go home i don't know something like that something with like yeah everything's like it's the neighborhood like you know spider-man 2 is like the neighborhood kid and the spider-man 3 is like the kid from around the house they're in your house yeah it's it's so many so i think i saw the one where andrew garfield was in it and toby mcguire was yeah i actually yeah i thought it was really cool i it was fine for me. But when Tobey Maguire came out, so she was in there and clapped her hands

and nobody else in the theater clapped. And then I couldn't stop laughing. She clapped for Tobey Maguire and not another person clapped. And I just like couldn't contain anything. And she was so entertained by the three of them on screen together in a way that nobody else in the theater cared. Yeah.

Oh, God. I love when people are excited and nobody else is excited. It just— That's the best. Especially for when it's their geek thing. Like, there's a lot of people that geek over Marvel. of people that geek over Marvel. And if you're outside of it, and you're just an outsider looking in, where you're like, I'm just hoping to see a good movie, or I guess the Marvel movies are cool, which is how I feel. But my friend who's coming to open the show here in Hawaii, his name's Justin

Foster. He is a massive Marvel fan. And so these little breadcrumbs that they drop where it's like, oh, look, they're talking to each other. Like that's it. That's so much more significant. It's something like like for this year or for like Justin than it would be for, you know, like someone like you or I where it's just like, yeah, that's I mean, that's cool. I mean, yeah, I like I'm watching the Marvel movies now for another podcast. And I just I don't think I'm a Marvel gal. I think I might just be a Batman gal because I I've seen a bunch of Batman movies and they're all

like good. I think I just really like that Bruce Wayne puts on truly just the wildest little outfit and he's like I need to defeat somebody. I'm sad about my dead parents. I will avenge their death. I love it. I'm here for it does so does robert pattinson

does he do a a good job as as as batman he is the most emo batman you will ever fucking meet of course the batman we need after the pandemic we're all a little sad wow even if you're a superhero you are a little sad yeah so i'm here for it he's got this like long my chemical romance hair um i'm just like here for it i love it and then the music is kind of like emo drew get thee to a theater i know i know i'm in i'm in hawaii and i might you're actually selling it on me i might spend as if i'm getting paid to talk about this movie and they have paid me nothing no one has offered me a part in it i just can't stop talking about batman that's crazy well the thing is is batman as a as a hero is a superhero he's pretty much the most emo

of them anyway you know like batman's they've always kind of leaned into that and that like darker tone, you know. So, I mean, that always gives me so much anxiety anyway. I mean, Spider-Man, if I were to pick a favorite superhero, Spider-Man would be my favorite because I feel like it's almost the opposite of Batman and how and how buoyant a lot of it is. And it's young and it feels you know whatever but um i i remember when the trailer for the robert pattinson batman dropped i was like shocked i was like i mean what crazy casting wild casting also as you watch the movie you'll go what year is this you'll never figure it out never ever you'll say it's in the 80s the 90s now future what time period and you'll never know and i love it how how often do you are you going to the movies honestly not often okay i don't go

that often i want to go more often because it is nice to leave my house and see a movie yeah yeah that's new yeah you know i could go go back to that. That's nice. How often are you seeing movies in theaters? Fucking mass shooters ruined it so much for me. And I still hold a grudge against every single one. And how uncreative it is to do it in a movie theater. Like, I don't know. And so I feel like resentment. Like, I feel not even just resentment. I feel burned I feel, I feel like resentment or like, I feel, I feel not, not, not even, I feel burned by that. I'm like, I can't like, there's places that I just, and I get, this is the levels of anxiety I feel like I get into where I'm just like, if it's, if it's in my head, I'm like, in my head, like, I can't go see a movie because what if it gets shot up? Like, I can't go see a movie because what if it gets shot up?

And then I'm like, but then I'm like, well, maybe that's where the safest one is because it's already happened. Like, they're not so hacky that they would do it all the time there. But then I'm like, so then I, you know, if there's an experience that I haven't had, like karaoke-ing in Mexico on Mushroom. And I'm like, well, has a shooting happened there yet? Because I don't want to be the first one, you know? Like, I don't want to be. Yeah, so it's just. This is levels of anxiety. of anxiety. I'm saying, man, it goes in. It goes into itself like it plays into like, here's why you should do something. And here's also why you shouldn't. It's like, yeah, it's it's like having a defense lawyer and prosecuting attorney that are at the

set, like arguing the same thing thing which wouldn't make any sense you wouldn't be able to get anywhere so um yeah that's what it that's that's what it is that's what i'm saying like i i like i'm i'm fascinated by people like you who are just like you know like let let life take me and i'm like no no no i'm gonna fucking i'll let research take me but i'm not gonna okay here's the thing drew i i just know in my heart i'm not dying in a mass shooting and you know for everyone listening you probably you might know someone who might have and i'm not trying to make light of it no i just have manifested that i don't see that for myself uh same thing with plane crashes people are afraid to fly i have been on planes where

turbulence is so bad that like a flight attendant was literally whispering i quit uh and then uh it was like really really really really bad we were trying to go to san francisco and we like went to land from la we went to land we had to go back up in the sky. The plane was literally like a big kid was holding each wing and shaking it as hard as they could. People were puking. It was disgusting. It was like really fucking nasty. But like, I like kind of just woke up from my nap because I can sleep through that kind

of turbulence. I like woke up and I was like, oh God, how annoying. But like, this plane's not going down. And I went right back to sleep. And the flight attendant was like, you can annoying but like this plane's not going down and i went right back to sleep and the flight attendant was like you can really sleep through anything can't you and i was like yeah what am i gonna do stay awake and like be scared no i'm asleep and if i die in a plane crash i will wake up right before the death and go oh no well good thing i'm sleeping Fuck. Fucking. Nicole, you're the only person I know who sees turbulence as annoying. Like you're like, oh, that's what it is. It's a nuisance.

I don't want to be bothered by this. That's fucking terrifying. I mean, like what? The amount of planes that land safely is greater than the amount of planes that go missing or crash. I still can't believe we're not talking about that Malaysia plane that went down or didn't go down. It just fucking disappeared. Disappeared. I know. Drew, I don't see it for myself. Travel with me.

You'll never pass away. I think that's what I want to do. Yeah. And I honestly, I manifest things. I was with Sashir and this other girl keisha we used to be a three-person improv team this is years and years and years ago we were doing a show in boston and i think it was keisha she was like let's take a bus and i was like i don't want to get on a bus buses break down so she was like buses don't break down they're safe and i was like

it's gonna break down we got on the bus. Hour in. Broke down. Broke down. Manifested it. Yeah. Didn't mean to. I was just, like, speaking my truth. I thought they broke down. And then we, like, rented a car and it was fine. So, like, yeah, I'm never going to die in a plane crash.

I'm never going to die in, like, an active shooter situation. It's just not going to happen. See, that's good. Like, I do, I do, I feel like at my core, I feel those same things. But I just I don't know how you get to that place where you don't let you don't let the editor be the person that starts to like dictate it. And maybe this is just born from like stand up. And I know that, you know, you and I, we don't talk like a ton about stand up, but like, you know, maybe it's just like, you know, you work that that muscle gets so I don't want to say strong, but that muscle is just used so often that when you don't

stop it from like your professional, you know, life, then like if it translates to your personal life, it might even be it might be a huge detriment to being able to experience something like fully and maybe that's what's happened is just, you know, years and years and years of that and using it as a tool where it's like, oh, I can edit or I can I can always I can always complain or I can find the frustration and things like that's great. But but when you do that with your life life, like I think that can, you know, can have like some some unwanted aftermath. I get that. On that note, we got to take a quick break.

Oh, yeah. And we're back. Okay, Drew, we've talked about heavy things. We've talked about the Batman. Let's talk about, are you single? I'm pretty sure you're not. I think you've been in a relationship for a minute. Yes, right?

Yes. Yes, I have. It's actually why I'm in Hawaii right now. We're kind of like moving our honeymoon to before the wedding. So that's how we're doing it. Oh, that's nice. That's cute. So you're doing your honeymoon now. When is your wedding? The wedding is in June and we're getting married

in Vermont. At the Vermont Comedy Club? I'm kidding. Yeah, at the Comedy Club. So that's where we're getting married. And then just planning it just makes me feel so like, like it, like we're, we're, we're totally not taking it seriously at all. Like we're taking the planning seriously, but we're not taking ourselves seriously. So we're going to have like a lot of like silly shit like at our at our wedding. And I think that that's it's just going to be a party. And I want people to we want people to feel like they're having a good time and that it's not I get weddings are supposed to be about us but that's just not like who I am so

do you have a registry for people to buy shit for you guys no what I know like if they want to get like a nice card or something give me like a gift card who cares how are you going to get blenders and mixers and fine china and

forks knives plates cups if anybody gives me that I'll give it to you I don't want And find China and fox knives, plates, cups. If anybody gives me that, I'll give it to you. I don't want anything. I don't want anything in my fucking house. If there's things in my house, it's just clutter. Okay.

Oh, so are you like a clean person? I am just a necessary person. Whatever is necessary. Bare minimum. And then my fiance is the opposite like she likes to buy things that i only buy things that i need she buys things that nobody wants so fair i mean i think a lot of ladies are like that i yeah i've kept so many so i had like a whole storage unit in jersey where i just like moved everything because i was like i'm moving back

to new york i'm never moving back to new y York but um I finally emptied it and I was like going through and I was like oh my god Nicole there's so much shit in here that you don't you didn't need at the time and you need you don't need now but I was like better wash all these clothes and um keep them all and now they're just in a pile on my chair because I don't have room for them. So now I have to, like, go through it again. It's a whole process, Drew. Yeah, it's huge. I mean, it's huge.

And it's like it is something that only hindsight can offer because, like, I tried to explain this to my fiance. I was just like, like, she wants to keep every bit of memory that's surrounded by it. Like, she could take a photo in a shirt. She wants the smell of that day from that shirt so she won't wash it and she'll have it in a section and then she'll have to be reminded that if I fucking find it somewhere, she'll be like,

that shirt! And it's like, you didn't know any of the shit that you have. So I feel like, you know, and I'm a bit traumatized because when i when i was younger my mom she threw away like like if she was someone who like she threw away things like that she wasn't sure about and sometimes those would be like school projects or they would be like whatever and she would just be like well i didn't know what it was

so i threw it away and it was horrifying for me and now i I feel like I've grown into her a little bit because I understand it now. I'm just like, but I don't. Do I need it for today? Probably not. So let's throw it out. And that's probably a very difficult. That's probably a chaotic way. That's a little chaotic for me.

Yeah. I love keeping everything. I had my my assistant was going through the storage unit. I have an assistant can you even um but she was going through the storage unit and then was taking pictures of stuff and she took a picture of this one uh glass and i was like oh yes you have to keep that because it's a window and when you fill it with milk it looks like snow and then she was like you know what i have to stop asking about individual things because everything seems to have a wild story.

Very specific. I mean, that's a Christmas class. Lots of cheer goes in there. And she's like, I'll just ship it all to you and you can sift through it. And I was like, okay, got it. Thank you. Yeah. And it's not like you're bettering your case to a logical person.

Your argument is zero logic. It's like, no, you don't understand. If we fill it like milk, it looks like snow. And then as if the person is going to be like, oh. Yeah, oh, okay. Yes, now I see why you want to keep it. Why didn't you think of that? Yeah.

How did you meet your fiancée? I met her at a bar in Vermont. She ordered an IPA and I was at the time I was drinking IPAs the same way that you kick tobacco. I kicked pretty much IPAs. And then we had good conversation. And then she got confident enough. I don't know if alcohol or not, but she got confident enough to challenge me in a push-up contest, which is ridiculous. Who won? I dominated. I didn't even count.

I didn't even count. That's how confident I was. I was like, I'm not going to count either of us. I'm just going to keep going until you're tired and you don't want to ever date me. So, yeah, that was how. And then the early stages of when we were dating, like she understood that I traveled so much. So she lived on the East Coast. I obviously live on the West Coast.

And then we would just she would fly to see me at some some of these shows. So she would. And and here's the thing is like she she was like training for like she was like training for Olympics. And like she's been in the world championships for cross-country skiing. Like she's she's fucking certified badass so it was pretty cool to you know get to talk to her and um you know get to get to get to know like what what it's what people like Vermont are from fucking weirdos I've never been skiing I assume you've been skiing I I'm a snowboarder, so that hurts my feelings. Snowboarder? That truly seems even harder.

Snowboarding seems wild. So your feet are just like strapped to this fucking piece of wood, and then it's just like you can't move your fucking feet. Good luck. Yeah, yeah. But it's almost like it's part of you, you know? It's like an extension of like all you do is you manipulate just your toes and heels. It's just you dance. Like it's and heels. It's just, you dance.

Like, it's just that. It's dancing on a piece of wood. Interesting. And I know that that sounds like twerking. It's just dancing on a piece of wood. You know, that's how you fuck them. Yeah, that's wild. That's too much.

Wait, that's sweet. How long did you guys date before a proposal happened? And then who proposed to who? I proposed to her December 31st of 2020. So I feel like, first of all, this year I think has more weddings than in like 40 years. Seriously, because so many many people they got through the pandemic together and then they were just like well fuck you know we can do anything so let's you know let's just do this so i think that's what happened i think we're probably gonna see

a lot of divorces but but uh i proposed i proposed to her and then we dated for I think three years before so I think okay that's a solid amount of time okay so she challenged you to a push-up contest had any other woman done that and is that something that I should be doing to men I think so I think so I think you know um I'm terrible at dating advice but yeah do do whatever you know get get I think guys like I mean, I think guys like to guys like guys are competitive for no reason. You know, guys are competitive for no reason. It doesn't make sense. Like there could be you can make a bet on if someone's gonna do something at breakfast. You know what I mean? Like if you're watching other people at breakfast, and you're like, Oh, I'll bet that guy's not going to tip or whatever. I'll bet that, you know. And then other guys will just be like, they're contentious for no reason. So if you start challenging, first of all, dudes are annoying. So I don't, you know, you just have to understand the psychology of that and then when you can get past that then fucking whatever but i just want to apologize ahead of

time that if you're single it's not your fault it's our fucking fault yeah it's your fucking fault i'm fucking perfect i'll never fucking change that's what it is figured it out okay i have a question okay yeah so when you were not in a relationship did you ever encounter chuckle fuckers um yes but i but i was like i was so um i was i'm just i'm very like uh i'm not a i'm not i'm not that person who like goes out afterward like you know i mean you saw in like even in nashville like not that person who like goes out afterward. Like, you know, I mean, you saw in like even in Nashville, like someone who like I want to get back to the hotel and just be like inside. So if it's a quiet conversation that happens somewhere with someone where we're chatting, like that's cool.

But at the same time, I feel like I'm somebody who I do enjoy conversation. And I like if it has like depth you know like I like to connect with people that way so you know yeah what about you does it does that does that yes I've only had two chuckle fuckers in this whole decade that I've been fucking touring two two chuckle fuckers and then on the road I've slept with like uh one other person who wasn't a chuckle fucker i have the hardest time i once went to i can't remember where i went but i was swiping on tinder and i set up two dick appointments and then they both fell through and i later asked this dude i was like i know it's been like a week or two but like

why what happened and he's like oh i thought it was like, I know it's been like a week or two, but like, why? What happened? And he's like, oh, I thought it was like really corny that you were like, come to my hotel room. And I was like, oh, so like people who just want to fuck, you still have to like go to a bar and like get to know each other and like have a drink. I'm literally just trying to get deep dick. And you thought it was corny, sir? I was livid.

I couldn't believe it. I was like, what are we doing to these men? No, I'm kidding. I mean, it's like nice and fine that he wanted to have a conversation. I was just like, just say that then. That's so funny. That's so funny. So between the two of us, like, you're the dude.

Like, you're the one who's like, just fuck me. I mean, yes. Especially if I'm in, I don't know, Idaho. Would I not stay in here? Let me fuck somebody here in Idaho and get the fuck up out of here. I'm so horny all the time. Sleeping through turbulence gets me going. Juiced up.

I'm trying to fuck. I just crushed this show. Let me fuck uh but i feel like like ladies do not get very many uh chuckle fuckers and i've heard that i've heard that like female comics have like a like like a tough time and i i don't i don't i don't know why maybe it's just i don't know i'm trying to think like about like the psychology behind like why guys wouldn't want to go to a see like a funny hilarious like female comic and then be like oh man that's so you know that's so hot i don't know i mean i don't know i mean maybe it just doesn't i don't know why it doesn't work

i don't know i just googled okay yeah yes definitely get let's get google on this do men like funny women? Ooh, okay. What's Google say? Google say... Wait, so I went to Quora, and that's like a weird website. Okay, so this is from The Independent, a UK thing. Why men don't fancy funny women.

Research shows men find women wits a turn off. Oh, my God. Well, maybe that's why. That's why. That's why you're not fancied. Why? I'm not fancy and I'm too funny. You're too fucking funny, dude.

That's why. It's a compliment. I guess. Why are men not attracted to funny women? Let's discuss. Yeah, I'm interested in this. Okay, so a couple years ago the person who wrote this scored second row tickets to see one of her favorite comedians

amy schumer i immediately asked my then boyfriend to accompany me he was my favorite person to laugh with his answer surprised me she's not very funny why don't you ask one of your girlfriends i was stung it was second row tickets he knew how much i loved her uh blah blah blah blah blah uh sorry men don't find women funny there that's what that's what his uh that's what he said there it was wow this is wild i mean wow i guess i should like read this article and actually talk about it but whatever well so then okay so then this is my question then in the two times that you in experience chuckle fuckers for why like what was what was different about it like what was so like what was the vibe well the one that went well the only one that went well of the three yeah i was doing a show and my friend christy Cello was also on the show I fucking love her and

she had a tough set someone heckled her she was thrown out so then instead of just doing my normal material I did a lot of crowd work they threw out Christy no no they threw out the headler Get the fuck out of here. You just had this heckler lady who wouldn't shut the fuck up. So then I like did crowd work, was getting everyone, you know, back up because it was just like the lady really brought the room down. And then at one point I was just like, I'm so horny. And then I found this couple and I was flirting with them.

And then I was like, yeah, I don't want to be the third wheel who is single. And this man in the crowd was like, I'm single. And then he had an accent. And then he was like, yeah, like DM me or I'll DM you. And I was like, okay. So we DM'd each other. Double score. Yeah. And then he came to my hotel room and we fucked and we had some wine and it was delightful.

What was the accent? I think that's important. Ard-a-tard-a-tee. He was an Irishman. Whoa. There it is. Yeah. Ireland. That was nice. Yeah. Ireland.

That was nice. And then another one. It was another one during the show where I was like, here's my contact info. And then he, I think, turned out to be a homosexual. He could have been bisexual. I don't know. But I, like, figured out his name from his email, looked him up on Instagram. And the first picture he had there was him at a pride parade, just, with rainbows all over him and he could have been an ally but he also

like looked at my pussy and was like i don't think i could eat that and i was like oh okay then that's yeah then that's that's definitely that's definitely a confirmation i mean yeah they're oh man yeah they're they're here here's what i here's what I'll say. So it is because I've heard this also from female. I've heard this also from female comics is that like even like other it can get challenging during shows that that nine times out of 10, if you're getting heckled, it will also it will be another female because they get irritated that like the attention is on you rather than rather than maybe like if they're there with a date or even if they're not you know what i mean like i've seen a lot of female comics who go up and then if they if you know if they get heckled you know it's almost always a female uh who's heckling them and then they will say that you know that that that that's why is that do you think that there's any merit to that?

I am usually not heckled by women. Women will interrupt the show to be like, I like you a lot. And I'm like, thank you. Yeah, that's always great. Gay men will love to heckle me, to be like, I'm part of the show. I want the attention.

But straight men heckle me, because I don't think, especially earlier in my career older like 45 year old like men would have the most to say to me i like start off my shows with allowing people to yell nailed it at me because they love saying nailed it during punch lines and then i feel like you're being redundant i know i nailed it and i don't mind them yelling it at me so we do it in the beginning and usually the loudest voice is some man after everyone else has done it is like i'm like do you feel better now do you feel stronger do you do you feel heard so okay so then going back to the going back to the um the one night stands or if they were, if they weren't. Yeah, they were.

But the chuckle fuckers. So the connection with the Irish guy wasn't enough to be like, let's do this again or let's see each other again. Oh, he lives too far away to ever try to do it again. Okay. Okay. I'm not trying to get on a plane for some dick. I barely want to get in a car for some dick. I would love

to just go up my stairs and have it there. I'm trying to move somebody in my fucking house, my dude. So then you're not looking for a relationship then? I mean, you are, but it has a ceiling. It has deal breakers. Right nowers i think in my current life

right i am looking to fuck a boyfriend oh okay it did it really did yeah i think i'm really just like ready for it um i'm a little bit more stationary now um yeah i don't think i'm going back on the road till next year so i'm like here i'm ready um i have like a couple irons in the fire that i'm working on um yeah i feel like this is the most stable i've been in my life so and i feel like an adult a lot you know like i just had my air conditioning like replaced that's an adult thing that's an adult shit yeah dude you gotta make phone calls and they ask you for a they ask you for a window like 12 to 4 or 8 to 12 yeah you gotta be home for it you gotta be home for it talk to them about efficiency and you go yes efficient okay yeah yeah yeah

yeah i just think i'm ready i'm ready for love to come to me so well here's the thing you're the queen of manifesting things so far as i've heard this podcast so i think it's gonna happen for you like very soon true thank you i think it's gonna happen for you very soon i think like you know you gotta you let the universe know you're like hey i'm ready i'm stable the timing's perfect. That could be great. Thank you. I also feel like it might be coming to me. I'm too horny to not be rewarded with a good deep dicking or a good finger hooking.

Yeah, I love when you say those terms. You really learned a lot from that Irish dude. There's nothing that sounds more Irish than what you just said. Finger hooking. It sounds like folklore. Do you? So, OK, you're in your description in the description of your podcast, by the way, one of the best ones I think I've ever seen.

It says that you love giving blowjobs. Now, I'm sure you've talked about this, but can I hear this straight from you? Yes. Like, what, I have, like, I'm fascinated by this. Okay. I know a lot of ladies do not like giving them. I love giving a blowjob. I will say, I just had some dental work done

that has really hurt, like, I can't, like, open my mouth as much as I want. And I said to the dentist, I was was like when will this swelling go down i have to open my mouth for things and she was like what do you mean i was like i have to open my mouth for things and she went oh it should go down soon and i think we were on the same page or she's like oh she screams a lot which is you know true as well true yeah it's like gotten back to better gotten back to better it's good so okay so my one of my favorite things i like to please people so like i like going down on somebody and then like looking up and then being like do you like it and then they're like yeah and like the subtext is like keep going but then

you kind of stare at them you make make them want it a little bit more. And then you start going again. And then you just figure out fun things to do with your tongue. And then sometimes you make a suction and then that's fun too. And then switching it up while you're looking up at the person. That's very sexy for me. So it's like a photo shoot. You feel like you're being...

Yes. Yeah. Yes. I'm being captured with the eyes and you sexy for me. So it's like a photo shoot. You feel like you're being, it feels like, yeah. Yes, I'm being like captured with the eyes and you're watching me perform. Oh my God, I like sucking dick because it's performing. I'm glad. This is so therapeutic. That was therapeutic. Yeah.

This is wild. I cannot believe I never made that correlation. Yeah, that's what it is. That's what it is. You're a performer at heart. That is so funny. The dick is my mic and I'm deep throating it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you're killing it.

Wow. And the dick is standing, so that's somewhat of an ovation. It is somewhat of an ovation. Yeah, yeah. It's all really coming together. I I'm not a very I'm not a very sexual person. I'm not like I it's just physical touch is not my love language. You know, mine, mine's mine's acts of service and words of affirmation.

You know, those are those those, you know, that's how I feel loved. But my fiance, she hers is physical touch. And I how much I love her. I love fiance, she, hers is physical touch. And I, how much I love her. I love that I get to communicate with her that way. You know what I'm saying? Um, but it's been something that the reason I'm, I brought this up to you is because, you know, she's the same, she's the same way that you are, where she's like, I love giving. And I was like, you don't need to, you don't need to, you don't need to lie to like satiate me. Like that's, you know what I mean? So I'm not trying to you know i'm not i just won't you know i'm not trying to tell you your truth but i don't i don't want you to have to you know feel like you're lying for the purposes of whatever and she's i think still very sincere

so it's just you know that's one of those things that that that baffles me, especially when you hear so many women who they're like, I've done it all. I yeah, I it confuses me when people are like, I hate it. I'm like, but why? Well, they're not performers. These fucking they're not performers. They don't know. They're not performers at heart. Weak ass, weak ass writing

in their blowjob. Yeah, yeah. Real quick, we have to take another break. Speaking of performing, let's talk about it. When did you start performing? When did you know

you wanted to be a comic? I never did. I always loved watching stand-up when I was a kid. Like, I loved, like, I watched everybody. I loved, like, Chappelle, and I loved, like, Ellen, and I loved, like, I even watched Dane when I was younger. I watched Tosh. I watched the Blue Collar Tour. I loved, like, Ron White.

Tosh. I watched the Blue Collar Tour. I loved like Ron White. And so I watched I watched, you know, I watched everybody. And that was a way that like my dad and I would bond was like stand up. So but when I moved to LA, it was it was to just do acting like that was that was my that was my whole shit. I went to I went to performing arts high school performing arts middle school. I just I just loved it. I wasn't great at sports. And so when I started to do shows, that was my thing. I just loved it. And then my injury happened when I was 20. So for people who don't know or whatever, I can retell it. But I was working at a comedy club. I was at flappers in burbank and that was the perfect night job for when i moved there like because for when i moved there i was just trying to have my days free to audition and do shoots and shit so i was like oh i can have a

night job and i'll be around comics like that's fucking so perfect so they had a softball team and I won one of the games. I went to like field a grounder and it hit me, it hit me in the throat. And then I fell and hit my head. And I thought like, we didn't think nobody really thought anything of it. People were like, Oh, that looks bad, but it didn't look like, Holy shit. Like that would like, like that would, you know, fuck shit up. So, um, I went, I had to work later that night, but then they were like, you don't you seem like out of it. So just go home and like sleep it off. And then when I woke up the next day, my speech was really, really slow. I was talking, but I wasn't making a lot of sense.

And I don't even remember that day. That was just something that my roommate told me that I just wasn't myself. that day, that was just something that my, like my roommate told me that I just wasn't myself. So he took me to, um, the hospital and then they were like, yeah, you had, uh, you had a, like a, uh, major concussion and a vocal contusion. But for the most part, they didn't, they didn't, they weren't able to deduce why I was like stuttering. And it wasn't even like, it was almost slower than stuttering. It was like every single word that I was saying was like staccato and like broken up. It was just it was so in my motor skills were not all there. So that long story to say this part to say this story is my agency and my manager for acting like they all they all they all they all dropped me. So I had

like, yeah, they all they all dropped me. They all I had like, I had like callbacks lined up for like, like Mad Men, I was doing stuff for like, for Disney, like I was like, in the thick of it for after for only after like a year, year and a half of being in L.A., like I had had some good momentum. And I think that's because, you know, I look so young and like my agent knew how to like market it. So it wasn't necessarily that they were as curt as saying, oh, you you're fucked up. We can't represent you. But they did say like, well, come back when you get better. And my I was told that my voice was my speech, especially was going to get better after, you know, at about like they said, they told me about

two weeks to whatever, two weeks or a month, and then it'll get better and with some speech therapy. And then, you know, here we are 10 years later. And, you know, it's obviously much better. But I've had to change. I've had to change so many things. Like I've had to go to like, yeah, I had to go to like physical therapy, like, like physical rehab. And I've had to do speech therapy. I had to, I've done like therapy to talk through like the fucking trauma of it. I've had to change my diet because after you have, I guess, after you have like a traumatic brain injury, it's called a TBI. You're supposed to switch your diet to like high fats and low carbs. So your brain to switch your diet to like high fats and

low carbs. So your brain can, your brain can heal itself. So, you know, in the past few years, my speech has gotten, um, much better, but it's just, you know, that whole trajectory was, uh, was why I got into standup. I got into standup because no one would hire me. And then I had some comics who were like, use it as your pain bro talk about you know talk about the fucking pain of it so that was the whole that was the whole uh I guess trajectory damn that is fucking wild yeah I know I rushed through that story but you know I just told it so many times I yeah I get it and I knew you talked about it so much so I was like I mean that's okay that's okay yeah it is like fully

fucking wild that that happened at like a softball game like i think we forget that like one thing can just change your whole life but also it's like it changed your life for the good you know yeah there was definitely some lessons to have been learned there i I have some, I have some control issues. Like I have, you know, I have a tough time, like giving up control with, with, of things, you know, and I, that was already, I was already that way prior to the injury. And then the injury happened and was like, you know, you know, here's, here's a lesson for that. You're not always in control all the time and you, and you know, and you have to learn that and there is strength in overcoming that but then it came it came around to where you know it gets to this point where when you start to get some traction in your career yeah then all of a

sudden you then everything comes back you're like shit now i care about this i have to care i have to control as much as i can about this and then then, you know, life is just, it's fickle, and that it wants you to learn those lessons. And sometimes, when you you forget about them, or you come back to them, you have to rework through that. So, you know, it's, it's, it's exciting to me that you said, for your life, you're in a place where you're like, Oh, I'm feeling more adult, I'm fearing, I'm feeling I'm feeling more like I'm comfortable with where I am and I have this balance of work and fun. And that for me has been,

especially I think the perspective we got from the pandemic, I think has really brought that into my life as well, where I'm just feeling more like, you know, I don't have to do 13 shows, you know, in a fucking weekend to do 13 shows, you know, on a weekend, you know, in a fucking weekend to, to validate myself or my injury. You know, it's, it's, there's, there's a lot more human things. Like, you know, I even see like you, you do, you, you have stuff where you post where you're like, you're, you're dancing or you're like, you're pulling it, you know, you're, you,

you do pole classes. And I think like, you know, that shit's inspiring because it's like I do soccer now. Like I never did – like I never had like a thing. Every person who ever asked me about a hobby, it was always comedy. Yeah, it's it. And to be honest, I hate that. Like I don't even so much like the vibe that is around comedy for as much as I love comedy. You know, like I love like, I love the writing and the editing

and the performing part. But, you know, when it comes to like hanging and trying to be cool. Yeah, it's like there's get friendly with certain people, get booked on certain shows. That's truly exhausting. I'm like another job.

It's and it's not honest. It's not honest. Like it's not who I am. Like I'm somebody who, I'm a genuine person and I care about people, but I don't want it to, I don't ever want it to feel like

I care about something or I'm inquiring about something because I need it, you know, or because I'm trying to get, because I'm trying to get somewhere further. Even though I am, I want it to be on the merits

of my hard work, not, you know, whatever. Not like who you know and who likes you best or whatever. Right, right, right. Right, right, right. So that part, you know, it's just politicking. And I feel like I'm too transparent for it to feel honest for me. So I have to navigate that a little bit.

But I think just coming down to, you know, like we're talking about was just like being comfortable with where you're at, trusting and manifesting, you know, more positive things for yourself. I think is I think, you know, I think that's a really, really healthy way to approach it. So I think so, too. How did your life change? I mean, we do have to wrap it up, but I'm curious to know how your life changed after being on America's Got Talent. Because that's like a huge fucking show. It's network. Millions of people fucking watch it. So after it aired, how did your life change?

Yeah, I was really busting my ass doing colleges. We talk about right now how many shows I was doing when I met you was definitely a lot, but the year before I did AGT, I made it a goal to do 500 sets. I was just like, yeah, I was like, I'm going to do 500 sets because I want to get comfortable in every environment. So I was doing them everywhere. So when I got on the show, doing them everywhere. So when I got on the show, you know, that shows just it does have such a massive reach. Or it did. I don't know if it still does. Yeah, you know, yeah, but it did at the time. And then, you know, that definitely made it to where I could start doing clubs and I could start touring and I didn't have to just rely on like colleges or in, you know, in town shows. However, you still have to, you still had to like grind to, to, to, um, build your, I guess your

social presence or your online presence and stuff like that, you know, which has become even more prevalent in recent standup years. But for me, you know, I think I when I got done with the show, I only had like, I don't know, like 65 or 70,000 subscribers on YouTube. And for me, I was like, I want to make that the main vehicle for my stand up and for when I was doing my vlogs with my with my dog Stella. And so then, you know, that was the main vehicle for how I continued to, uh, afterwards. Like I could tour, um, and people would buy some tickets for people who saw AGT, but it wasn't to where it was like pushing it over the top to where you were like selling out or adding shows and stuff like that.

That was that I had to kind of like create through, um, you know, cultivating the stuff through YouTube. So we're, you know, since then, you know, it's, you know, we've gained like 2 million subscribers, which, you know, holy shit has been that that that has been the big reason for why people will come to see shows. And I'm almost I'm almost happier to know that someone found me from like either Facebook or YouTube, because that's content that I generated, you know, rather than, you know, that's, that's stuff that I generated, um, on my own. But for me, it was really cool after AGT to have like, you know, people, uh, people

come, want to come see me. And then I was so young when i did that show that it's cool to try and like you know evolve into more adult things and talking about more adult things and not talking so much about my speech or making jokes about my stutter and stuff like that like you know like i said it's just about being honest with where you're at and i know that sounds like fucking artsy or whatever but I just mean you know that's been what's cool about it well I think that's awesome because it is disingenuous if you like aren't having if your stutter isn't as prevalent and isn't affecting your life as much it's like then why am I still making jokes about that exactly why not evolve to the person I am now

and that is like i i really identify with that because after my special i was like well i am a horny single lady but also i'm horny for love and i've been like trying to figure out what that means to me and means to my stand-up because i never want to just be like inauthentic or like have people go jesus christ this is all she fucking talks about because it's like yeah well there are different facets of me i got to figure out which one i want to show yeah stand-up is yeah it's just interesting it is i mean and it is interesting because you can find that market like that that that that is very niche however people are identified with it or they or they you know they, they, you know, like, you know, there's just there's so many people.

There's so many comics who they're talking about one thing that's so specific to them. And so many people relate to it that there are that that that that there are sometimes afraid to leave it. about this like in therapy where it's just like I went from hating my the way I talk so much that I would make jokes about it to then people knew that's all they knew me for to then feeling like oh shit is that all they're going to know me for so I can't evolve from it and then to where it people had accused me of it not being real in the first place so then I'm like no like like do I have to feel like I could never grow from it? Or can I, you know, and then it all just boils down to, yeah, inauthentic is such a great word, because it's never something you it's never gonna, it's never gonna feel good. And it's never gonna translate in what you're trying to do. And I hopefully think people appreciate someone who

evolves more rather than just doing, you know, the same bullshit over and over and over like repurpose material. Yeah. I, I have like a couple of jobs where I had to like cancel shows, but then also I was like, maybe we just like regroup and figure out what I want to talk about.

And I think, I don't know. I think in life we can all just like learn to like take a minute I think that's like with the pandemic like not to like I know I come from a very privileged place where I was able to not work and or podcast and still you know make a living or whatever but like I did do less and as like things have opened up and we're back out there doing things, I have to keep reminding myself, I do not need to say yes to everything if it's not going to bring me joy or

move my career in a way that I'm trying to have it move. And then also people can wait, they can wait till you have the material that you're like happy to show them as opposed to something you've like cobbled together. Just, you know, give me your money money and that feels grimy to me yeah it feels it feels incomplete and it feels like there's no there's no purpose I mean you can just go in circles then if you're just saying yes all the time and I think the way you're doing it right now especially if you're not doing shows until next year and you're you're just kind of, you know, you're you're working on the things that you want to work on where you're at and also growing personally.

It feels like the more that you can, you know, grow personally, the more like opportunities otherwise come to you professionally as well, because then you're just, you know, you're manifesting that same like, you you know that same kind of growth but i would say the challenge is with our with our industry you do have to book shows well in advance you know so you're almost like well what's the mental place i'm gonna be at six months from now you know yeah that's why like uh 2019 i burnt myself out like boy oh boy i've never been more tired because i was like on sets working i wrote a book uh and i was touring almost every weekend but by like the end of it i had like i remember like november of 2019 i had some of the best shows of my life and i was like happy and

like fulfilled with what i was talking about and then the pandemic hit and then I was like, well, I can't do all of that. I have to. So then I started like cherry picking things that I was like, this is what I still want to talk. It has just been like a real interesting journey these last two years. I completely agree. I think, and I know that it's, it does sound, it does sound like you're, you can come from a privileged place if you say that it was a blessing because it wasn't a blessing to everybody.

That's not everybody's relationship with it. However, I was in the same position in 2019 where it just got to be so much. I was never in a position to say no to things. And then you just get taken advantage of by your own, you know, by yourself. I have to do this. I have to keep grinding. If I don't do it, someone else will. And it's like, yeah, it's OK if someone takes that weekend.

It's OK if you take the weekend for yourself. Being about self-care in 2022. I know. Right. I know. It sounds so L.A. to fucking talk about. But it's you know, it? I know. It sounds so L.A. to fucking talk about, but it's, you know, but it is real. And, you know, I'm so happy with all of the things that you're getting to do.

You're getting to do so many, like, different projects. And, like, it's just it's really cool to see that you're also at a place that you've got some personal wants as well and some things that you're doing for yourself. So that's really cool. I want a partner. Well, Drew, we are winding down. I stopped asking this question,

but I miss asking it. So I think I'm going to start doing it again. Would you date me? Uh, you know, I am in a relationship. Um, but what is that?

Is that something that I am removing from this? Um, yeah, I? Yeah, I guess. I guess it's like if there were no restraints, no one in your life. Right, in a world? Yeah, in a world. I absolutely would. And here's why.

But here's why. I think we would be a fucking, I think we would be the oddest couple ever. Like provided I never met my current, provided I never met my current fiance. I think it would be, I think we would be like friends that hung out all the time and people like, and, and, but if you'd be like, and I think they date too. And then I would, I would, I would slowly start to, I would get satisfaction out of knowing people would be like, well,

how do they like, how do they like, how does their sex life? Like, there's so, how do they do it? But then we would never, and we would never talk about it. Yeah. We would never talk about it. We'd just be like, yeah, that's my girlfriend. I'd be like, yeah, that's my, we date and stuff. And then we would do, and we would do shows and then we would have posts sometimes on

Instagram and they would be, and then, and then, you know, it then we would have posts sometimes on Instagram and then it would be like, if it was like my birthday or whatever and you post on Instagram and you were like, love this man it's my boo's birthday or whatever I feel like people would be like this, so they're serious

This doesn't make sense We never talked about it on stage We never talked about each other on stage. We would never be like, it would never be like, yeah. And we would never talk about like our differences on stage. We would talk about just like, and people would be like, they have to say something at some point. There's no way that they cannot talk about it because you're taller than me. We cannot be, you know, your personality is so different than mine.

Like we could not be more opposite. And I just think people would be like like how the fuck does that work? And so just I know, despite, you know, despite that aside, like, I think, yeah, of course, you're such a you're such a cool person. And you're gonna find your person this year. That's, that's, that's what's gonna happen. I know it. Yes, from your lips to God's ears to some big dick. Yum, yum, yum, yum. Okay, Drew, do you have anything that you want to promote before we get out of here? No, this airs when all my touring is pretty much done.

But I start up touring again in the fall. So just truelinch.com. That works. And Concussed, which can be streamed on YouTube. Yes. Okay. If you like this episode of Oh, I Want You, Date Me, you can like it. You can rate it. You can subscribe. Give me five stars on YouTube. Yes. Okay. If you like this episode of Oh, I Want You Date Me,

you can like it, you can rate it, you can subscribe, give me five stars on Apple Podcasts. And if you write me a dirty message hitting on me, please, please send it to

whywontyoudatemepodcast at gmail.com and I will read it. Okay. This dirty message from this nice person said, Hey, bacon sweat. Check out the dumpster on your baby

oh the dumper on your on you baby oh my butt okay you can call me the chef because i want to spread your legs like butter and sling my sauce up your down south mouth then we can go to the farm because i'm gonna roll you over shove my hog in your mud. I want to milk your fun bags like ripe balloons and make you choke on my man butter. You know? Alright, that was a message. Thank you so much. Are you kidding me? That was so well written. That was perfect. That's the dude.

Alright, whoever wrote this, please contact us again. You're my dude and I'm gonna marry you. That was perfect. Bye-bye! You're my dude and I'm going to marry you. That was perfect. Bye-bye.

That's it for Why Won't You Date Me with me, Nicole Byer. Why Won't You Date Me is produced and engineered by, oh, the sweetest woman I know, Marissa Melnick. It is executive produced by other wonderful people, Adam Sachs, Joanna Solotaroff, and Jeff Ross. Thanks for listening. I love you. Thank you so much. We'll be seeing you next Friday with a brand new episode. What a dream. What a dream.

Ha ha ha. This has been a Team Coco production.