Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Eloping on Christmas (w/ Manila Luzon)

Episode Date: December 23, 2022

Drag queen legend Manila Luzon (Drag Race S3, All-Stars 1 & 4, Drag Den) joins Nicole to discuss her Christmas Eve eloping in Las Vegas, dating after mourning the loss of her boyfriend Sahara Davenport, and some of the most iconic moments from her seasons of Drag Race.  For more drag queen interviews, check out our episode playlist on Spotify: bit.ly/wwydmdrag Write to Nicole! Submit your dirty pick-up lines, dating stories, or questions to [e-mail] for a chance to have it read on-air. Black Lives Matter.  Click here for an updated list of over 100 different things you can do to support racial justice.   Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerMerch: podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

🎵 Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! 🎵 🎵 Ooh, baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Day Me? Ho, ho, ho, it's Christmas time. It's a podcast where me, Nicole Byer, tries to figure out how I'm still single, even though you could dress up as Santa Claus, shimmy down my chimney, and I dump me in my pussy, land in my living room, and say, you get nothing but coal, and then the coal is just lumps of your cum. That's hard.

Anyway, my guest today is a legendary drag queen who competed on RuPaul's Drag Race Season 3, All-Star Season 1 and 4. She's the host of Drag Den, the first Filipino drag competition now streaming worldwide on Prime Vidya. It's Manila Luzon! Hey, my boo. Hey, girl. Hey! Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. How are you? Oh my gosh, I am so fantastic. Happy holidays, Nicole. Happy holidays.

Do you like Christmas? I do. I love Christmas. You know why? It's because it is over the top. It is accessorized like a drag queen, honey. It is pretty accessorized like a drag queen. You know, like that old saying of Coco Chanel,

like take something off before you leave the house. No. Christmas is like, no. Leave it all on, honey. Put more tinsel all over me. So wait, you got married on Christmas Eve. Yeah. This Christmas, my husband and I are celebrating our five year anniversary. Oh my God. Yeah.

We got married on Christmas Eve. It was so romantic and so much fun. That's so sweet. Where was it? Well, it was in Vegas. We eloped. See, my husband and I, yeah, my husband and I were like, oh, we were struggling to figure out how to make our wedding special. And I was like, I'm not getting married at the hill airport, Hilton ballroom, A and B.

You know what I mean? Like I wasn't going to do all that. I wasn't going to have like, you know, and then I was like, I want it to be a party. And then, but the problem was that like, I'm a Filipino, my husband, he's Puerto Rican Chilean. We both have gigantic families. We put our list together and just our, without our friends, without our coworkers, without our extras, we had over 200 guests just to invite, just with family.

That's too many. That's too many people. That's too many people to feed. Uh-uh. I'm a drag queen. So I'm used to being the center of attention at every party and getting dolled up. So I was like, I don't need this. So we decided just to elope and we went to Las Vegas on Christmas Eve.

I love that. Okay. Were you flying from LAX? Did you fly from LA? Yeah, actually. I had just finished a drag queen, like a Christmas tour with a bunch of drag queens. And I had gotten back that morning and i was like okay my my tour's over and i'm going to get married this afternoon this evening so i i landed in la from wherever i was

on tour i took like a quick hour nap and then we boarded in flight immediately um to las vegas and then we went from there that's cute okay. Okay. How did your family react? You have such big families. Were they insulted that they were not invited? No, it's kind of my family's fault that we decided just to elope because like, like we were trying to figure out the schedule. Like my, my parents are like, oh no, we can't do it. We can't do a wedding until two, you know, two years from now.

Cause I don't know. I guess I'm as a drag queen i'm just so used to like whatever like what whatever party i'm doing this weekend but like my my family they like have like vacation days and jobs and they have to schedule it and my cousin was getting married around the same time so i was like screw it like so one of the reasons why we did Christmas Eve is because we knew that like for our anniversaries we would always be with our family

to celebrate oh god that's so fucking sweet yes and um and like just greedy because like we get to hijack like the holidays and make it for us and make it about yourself

yeah so every Christmas Eve dinner like we have to stop everything and be like by the way like the holidays and make it for us and make it about yourself yes every christmas eve dinner like we have to stop everything and be like by the way we're celebrating our marriage again you weren't invited to the first time but we're gonna make it special tonight here's a toast how did you and your husband meet michael and i met at a viewing party in New York City. Isn't that crazy? That is. Wait, were you hosting the viewing party? I was hosting, yeah, in full drag, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, he had come with his frat brother. Uh-huh. And they were like, well, I was doing my viewing parties at Boxers New York City, which is like a gay sports bar. Oh, of course. In Chelsea, right? Yeah, they have all these TV screens. So, you know, it's a drag race. It's a sport. parties at this um at boxers new york city which is like a gay sports bar in chelsea right yeah they have all these tv screens so you know like it's drag race it's a sport right yes it's it's the gay national sport so my husband and his frat brother had come in to like play pool and and pretend to be butch but um he had heard like the tvs playing with my voice on it and then like

during the commercial breaks, I would speak. And he was like, wait a minute, that's the same voice. And then he introduced himself to me. And that's how we met. Did he hit on you? Or it was just like introducing? How did it evolve? So I'm, okay, I'm having trouble speaking to people in person

because I don't fucking know how to do it. So when you meet someone in person, like, what did he say? Was he like, hi, hello, I think you're cute. know how to do it. So when you meet someone in person, like what did he say? Was he like, hi, hello? I think you're cute. I want to go out. Or was it just like, oh, you're on TV. What a treat. I want to say number two,

but to be honest, I was drinking a lot and I don't actually even remember meeting my husband for the first time. Wow. I just know the story. So I tell it because, you know, like I meet a lot of people who would come up to me. I was working.

So I was taking pictures. But I do remember, I do remember meeting him the second time. Because I do remember him coming back the next week and he brought another frat brother and he brought like more. And I was like, oh, I like this guy. I don't remember meeting you the first time, but he came back and you brought more people to my show. So I was like, oh, I like this guy. I don't remember meeting you the first time, but he came back and you brought more people to my show. So I was like, oh, okay.

I like that. So, you know, I mean, I feel embarrassed that I don't remember the first time meeting my husband, but it's fine. I don't remember a lot of the first times I meet people and I have terrible stories where they're like, you fell right down or, or like you tripped or whatever. But like, okay. So the second interaction, I'm trying to figure out how this like evolved. evolved i'm trying i'm like studying so i can take it into my life yeah and maybe do it to somebody oh well um you have one thing um that also i had which was fame because you were on tv

so people recognize you okay i think that really i think that really helps because, um, I, I feel like because I was on a reality TV show and I was just being myself, I feel like people got to like, people think they know me, you know, or at least they, I think, I think they know me because like I was going out there and telling my story. And so that's the good old icebreaker.

I don't have to, I don't have to like talk about me. Like when I meet someone, all I have to do is ask them questions and meet about them which is kind of nice which is kind of nice okay although because i'm a drag queen i am a narcissist so i do like to talk about myself so yeah but okay so he brings other people, and was it like you exchanged numbers then? Or like, I'm really trying to figure out how this evolved. Okay, well, TBH, like, he looked like he was like, maybe like the kind of what would be down to like, you know, do a little smoking of the reefer.

Okay. kind of what would be down to like you know do a little smoking of the reefer okay and so i had asked him like if he had anything to smoke and that's kind of like how we you know like we passed the peace pipe and we got to know each other that way so i like that yeah yeah it was uh it was uh it was all very like fluid you know chill organic. I wasn't actually expecting like a romantic situation with him. And to be honest, I was just looking for like a hit. Okay. This is exhausting. I feel like every fucking person I talked to is like, I wasn't looking and they just fell in my lap.

And like, love is love. And we've been married for 32 years and it's so annoying because I'm constantly looking. I am always on the hunt. And then I oscillate between like do I want a relationship? Do I just want to hook up?

I was like I have this like spreadsheet of people I've hooked up with and i fully forgot about this guy that i hooked up with um and i was like thinking about it the other day and this was like um a while ago but i like went to his house uh he lived on western and santa monica and this is in the phase where i was like whatever let's hook's hook up. And as we were hooking up, he said to me, he goes, would you move to Hollywood for a white dick? And I was like, wait, what? This is this is the strangest thing anyone has ever said to me.

And I truly looked back and was like, I don't think so. And he was like, oh, OK. I mean, it's Hollywood. I mean, Hollywood's like one of those places where you think like everyone thinks like oh I'm gonna move to Hollywood because you know that's all they know about LA is Hollywood and then they get there

and they realize like one block in Hollywood could be like the poshest block in all of Los Angeles and then the next one could be like the shadiest part of town where you could get gunned down. Like seriously, no,

don't move to Hollywood. Not even for Dick. I mean, I, I lived in Hollywood for a little bit, but it was like more East. And then now I live fully on the East side. Um,

and I was just like, what the fuck? And then as he was fucking me, I was like, fuck me harder. And then he went, I'm trying. And I was like, maybe harder and then he went i'm trying and i was like maybe i don't want to just hook up with people maybe i need to be chill and find love um yeah i'm

it's getting sadder and sadder and sadder where is he well i did see like this intuitive lady who then she told me that i'm gonna find someone next year and i was like okay wait like 2023 that's what she said that's what her intuition told her so i i'm on okay i guess i have to stop looking or well actually well she told you you're gonna find them so it looks like it seems like you have to do the look the searching oh my god you right. I should have recorded exactly what she said, but whatever. Okay, okay, okay. But I mean, like, I guess,

I don't know. Like, yeah, it just kind of fell into my lap. It was actually really inconvenient, to be honest. Like, Wait.

It was really. Why was it inconvenient? Ah, because I was like, going through a really like, like, depressing time in my life. Like I, my, my partner had passed away that I had been with for like, like almost seven years.

And it was a very like public, it was a very public like relationship because I was at the time I was dating another drag queen also from RuPaul's Drag Race Sahara Davenport and you know we kind of were this like lesbian drag queen couple that everyone was like so weirded out by and so when she sadly passed like I was like that's when I had met Michael and I felt so I felt so weird because like I was just like this emotional hole and like he kind of you know he kind of like made me see that there was like a way out like there was like a little bit of light and I remember thinking like when I met him I was like this is the kind of guy that I want to be with now like this person might not be the guy but like this is giving me like a little glimpse as to what could be and so it made me really

hopeful that like after like i had just lost someone's lost someone i was like okay there might be something else but the problem was that for me i was like there's not enough time for me to like mourn like it literally happened like almost like the next day you know what i mean like it was and then all of a sudden i was like falling in love and I didn't know if it was just because I was like emotionally like destroyed that it was like easy to like move in on me and like whatever. But like then I was like, you know what? I have to like not really think about like what the audience of TV is going to think of me moving on with my life and my relationship. And then just kind of like accept this like thing that fell in my lap. You know, like I didn't, I felt bad because I was like, I'm everyone expects me to like

mourn my loss of my former partner. But like, I have this like amazing guy who just came into my life and like, I don't want to like just throw away this opportunity because it's a bad timing. So it was, it was like i was very hesitant and very careful and i and making sure like this was like like real because honestly like i like you i just wanted to like get dick down i needed it you know like i needed i needed some dick i needed a big hard cock inside of me. In my mouth, in my hole.

Sometimes that's all you need, especially when you're sad. You're like, just, you know, something inside that's alive. Because I feel dead inside. Exactly, exactly. And it just so happened. I don't know if it was just because like, I was like really in my emotions were it like, whatever. But like, I was like, this guy's too good to just kind of pass up as a as a as a like a one night stand. Okay, maybe like a two night stand. like having someone new in your life while your morning helped your morning like do you think it helped a little bit more to have like someone to lean on when you're like not feeling the best yeah because like I was restructuring everything I had I like left New York City and I got an

apartment out here in Los Angeles I was restructuring like my entire life because I just had to I had to like I couldn't dwell in the past anymore. So I just kind of was like I just took a leap. You know, I was like, why not? Because like I hadn't met my I had met Michael in New York City. And then shortly after, like, well, we cooked up and then shortly after like well we cooked up and then I never heard back from him

and I was like oh this is why I was like okay I like this guy this might not be the one because he didn't call me back after like

I let him hit that let him tap that ass and then I didn't hear from him and then I was like okay well maybe I just need to find someone that's like this

but it turns out he actually lost his phone how convenient how convenient and between the time that he lost his phone and when i had like went through some of my like facebook messages from like you know like you get facebook messages from like random people like i had was like searching and i was like oh oh there's that guy and he had given um so i had like texted my number and he immediately called me back but i had gotten this phone phone call from a california number and i was like oh it's hollywood they're calling me to be a star but it was him and he's like oh i moved to i moved to la oh how funny and that's where like you were moving to. Yeah, and I was like, you know what?

I'm going to try LA. Like, there's, like, it was, LA was calling me. Like, it was, like, the winter. I didn't want to deal with New York City winter. I just wanted to, like, be someplace chill and warm. And there was some great Puerto Rican Chilean dick waiting for me. He picked me up from the airport when I came out. That's love.

I have picked maybe three people up from the airport ever in my whole life. Exactly. Get me an Uber. Yeah, because at this point I'm just like, oh, perfect. I'm going to get picked a free ride from the airport because LAX is a shithole. Terrible. One of the worst. Yes.

So I get a free ride and then he's going to smoke me out and then he's going to suck my dick. And then that's all I thought. That's all I thought. The trifecta. What a dream. Three dazzling things. And that was like, I was like, okay. And then after that, I would like, you know, go meet up with my friends who live in Los Angeles. And then I just, I was like hooked.

I got addicted. You got addicted to that dick. So who proposed to who? I did the proposing. Okay. Yes. Was it like special? Was it, was it alone at your house?

Where was it? Tell me. Okay. So I told you my husband, he's part Chilean. So I had gotten a gig in Santiago, Chile, where his father and his family are from. So I thought this is like the perfect place because he's always talked about when he was like a teenager, he went to go visit his family in Chile.

And I was like, this is perfect. So I had bought a ring at the mall. At the mall. I love it. Yes, honey. One of the jewelry stores. A cute little like wedding band with like a little tiny diamond in it. Because, you know, I wanted it to be like legit engagement ring.

So there was like a fleck of a diamond that was probably chipped off a bigger diamond that they'd like were like oh it's so fun you'll love to see it we could probably put this in something and we put that in the ring let's repurpose repurpose and so like um i had this wedding ring in my pocket but i had never been to chile so i didn't know where i was going to propose so i'm in this different country and I had these ideas and I was there for a drag gig. So like the promoter was kind of touring us around and kind of, you know, just being a third wheel. And I'm like, God, that's really, you know, I can't propose to him with this dude here.

But yeah, we had like a morning, afternoon before my show in Santiago, Chile. And we had it alone. So we went to the tallest building in South America at a whopping 60 something floors. Like it's not tall. Oh damn. Okay. It's not tall compared to most skyscrapers, but in Chile it's the tallest one. Yeah, I was like 60 doesn't seem like that much. No, it's not. But it's the tallest one. Yeah, I was like, Sisy doesn't seem like that much.

No, it's not. But it's the tallest one in all of, like, I guess South America is like, we don't care about tall buildings. Well, I mean, tall buildings are kind of stupid. Like, who needs them? Whenever I have to go to, like, the 100th floor of something, whenever. I'm always going to the 100th floor. Well, that's where your penthouse is, right? Yeah.

And the elevator takes so long for me to get home. I know. I know. Sometimes I'm like, what's better? Should I lay my helicopter on the roof or should I just take the elevator from the ground floor up? No, I usually just take the elevator so people, they think I'm normal. Now, what is it? The Chrysler building?

No, I don't know. I was in some building where we were very high up and I was like, I don't like this. It's too high. Yes. Well, it was a great view. And yeah, so then finally I was like, I'm going to propose finally. I had been carrying this ring around my pocket and we were like sightseeing and I just kept thinking like, is this the place?

Should this be the place? So then I just did it and like he was so cute when i got down on my knee and like asked him to marry me and it was super super adorbed i love that and then and then later that night when i had my drag show i was like hey do you want to do you want to pretend like i'm asking you on the stage so everyone can see so we can like have like a big special moment for us and then our my chilean fans can like feel like they're part of it and he agreed and i was like and this is a way out if you want to say no then go ahead now's the time honestly that would be

very funny if for the performance he was like, absolutely not! And then you had to continue the show. Oh my god. People would be like, oh my god. This is awkward. Awkward! But in Spanish. Yeah. Acu-o-o! I don't know. I was like,

should I try it? But I truly don't know. Wait, Manila, real quick, we have to take a break. Be-bop-boop. We're back. Oh, okay. So before you started doing... Actually, what got you into drag?

Tell me. As a young boy... Yes, listeners of the podcast i am a man i know my voice is really effeminate okay um when i was a boy i just i i like to i like to go into my closet well my mother had a lot of clothes so she would put her clothes in her closet my sister's closet and in my closet so i had like and she would put her like fancy pieces in my closet because she thought that it would be the safest in my closet. Except it wasn't because I would always go into my closet

because there were these dresses my mom had when I was like, maybe like 12 or something like that. Like I would be like, I was like the exact same size as my mother when she was like in her 20s. She had all these old dresses. My mom never threw anything away. So she had these fashions from like the 70s and the 80s. And I was like, exact same size as my mother when she was like in her 20s. She had all these old dresses. My mom never threw anything away. So she had these fashions from like the 70s and the 80s. And I was like, here for it.

Yeah, I always just loved dressing up. Like, I don't know. Women have better clothes than men. I always remember like being so jealous of my sister. She's a year younger than me. Easter. She would get a bonnet, a pretty new dress, little lace gloves for church.

And I got to wear pants. I had to wear pants, like a, like a stupid, boring, basic bitch. I was like, where's my bonnet?

I want to accessorize. Come on. I do think men's fashion could be more fun. I don't understand why it's still not fun. Well, it's getting there. I'm really impressed and a little bit jealous of what the gay boys,

what the twinks at the clubs are wearing these days. They're wearing crop tops and these amazing little fashion outfits with little pearl chokers and eye makeup and their Chromatica Oreos. I don't know like the

the chromatica oreos were very gross did you eat one um no i couldn't find them and also like i try not to eat oreos because like i like a pack of oreos for me is like a like a fun size you know what single serving so i try not to eat Oreos. There, I get it, I get it. But also I like chocolate Oreos. I don't like, I want a freaking pink Oreo. That's weird to me. I don't care if Lady Gaga does it.

Yeah, they weren't good. I did not like it. Where was your first drag show? Like where did you first start performing? Was it in New York? My first drag show was, I'm from Minnesota. so my very first time ever being in drag and performing was in Minneapolis at the Gay 90s, which is one of the fiercest clubs still for me.

Like, they had, like, that was a really good introduction for me. And ever since, like, I've just been kind of like, wow, the drag, the backstage, the dressing room, the stage at the Gay 90s was so good. Like, when I went to New York City, I was like, oh, this is a little disappointing. But I had just come out of the closet. My girlfriend from high school, like, asked, like, she confronted me. She's like, are you gay? And I was like, maybe.

She's like, are you gay? And I was like, maybe. And then I was like, oh, so then I had to like deal with this like crazy breakup with my girlfriend at the time, which was like. Did she say why she suspected you were gay? Um, yeah, I think she had like cheated on me with a guy. And then she was like, oh, this is what a straight guy ravishing my beautiful teenage body is supposed to feel like. And I was like, I can't compete with that. So, you know. Honestly, pretty funny to cheat on your boyfriend and then go, wait, what? This is what we're doing? Are you gay?

Yes, that's what happened. But it's so funny because it's like, she fully in the wrong yeah she was it was quite devastating and then we had to divvy up our friends and that was a fucking hot mess so what happened was is that like I was just I was just like really I was just really depressed because like you know I had thought that I had been doing like the Meryl Streep

acting of the century thinking that like everyone thought that I was straight turns out when like everyone thought that I was straight. Turns out when I told everyone that I was gay, everyone was just kind of like nodded and in that like, yeah, baby. Yeah. Like nodded and smiled and they're like,

Oh, okay. I'm glad you know now. Yeah. So I was a little devastated. And then I was like, you know what? Now that I'm like gay, I guess,

Hey, maybe now is a perfect time for me to like explore these like desires I had to like dress up in drag. And that's really what kind of, that's really, drag really is what helped me figure out who I was as a gay person, like a newly sprouted, blooming homosexual. Drag was the thing that like really kind of changed that for me. And so I owe so much to drag for like my own healing, for my own growth, for my own coming out. It really helped create that confidence in me.

So like, yeah, thank you, drag, for coming. And thank you, mom, for having all those dresses in my closet I very much love that um let's talk about drag race for a little bit so well you were in a relationship while you were on drag race you didn't really have any time being single I usually ask like I asked the girls like does dating change after being on the show but here I'll ask this did people try to like hook up with you while you were touring after being on the show? But here, I'll ask this. Did people try to hook up with you while you were touring after being on the show? Nicole, yes. And I also tried to hook up with people while touring.

I'm still trying to hook up with people while touring. I love it. I love this truth of yours. Let's just, fuck yeah. Like, this is, you you know i'm fucking famous don't you want to fuck me yes okay although i will say this nicole yes i i usually stop myself before i actually follow through with it i just like that i just like that i just like the attention and i just the tension okay yes and i the chase and the attention. Okay. Yes.

And I also believe that the idea of having sex with Manila Luzon is always going to be better than actually having sex with Manila Luzon. Oh, no. I don't know. Maybe it would be fantastic. Maybe it would be mind-blowing. You don't know. Well, there will be some blowing. Definitely.

I don't know if it's going to be mind-blowing you don't know well there will be some blowing definitely i don't know if it's gonna be mind-blowing but but there'll just be some blowing yeah um what's like the weirdest thing anyone has done while on tour to get like your attention or try to hook up with you see the weirdest thing is and it's it's it very common, actually, for a lot of us queens that, like, you know, finally get to, like, bring someone back to our hotel. I think one of, like, I met this cute boy, and I brought him back to my hotel. And then I had, like, gone to the, excuse myself, to the bathroom. And then I came back out and he was completely naked and putting on one of my dresses.

Oh no! Ooh, wait. You gotta ask before you do that. Those costumes are expensive. Well, not that one because this is back back this is my earlier days when like drag was just something sparkly and stretch fabric so i wasn't too mad but like i was i was i remember being a little disappointed because i was like well i was like i was like

waiting for the whole like foreplay of like convincing you to undress and whatever but i had just come out of the bathroom and he was already fully undressed and wearing my dress clubbing that's honestly truly one of the funniest things i've ever heard that would shock me so much just to be like oh okay uh all right i guess that's what you're into that's what we're gonna do um okay i have a question so on season three you got to witness live yara sofia playing amy winehouse in the snatch game which is to me one of the most iconic performances of our generation so we all know the show's edited How much more unhinged was it in person? Yara Safiya is like completely out of this world.

Like it is. I love her. She's insane. Just to like be around that like chaotic energy is just a lot of fun. So I remember it being like a complete, I don't, it was like one of those things where you're like, this person sucks at the Snatch Game. But it's so fucking crazy that you know that it's going to be like good TV. And, you know, like on RuPaul's Drag Race, I think the Snatch Game is always like that, that thing where you're like, it's either going to be the best and I'm going to be laughing my ass off. Or it's going to be like the auditions from American Idol where people just suck and I'm pointing and laughing at them. And it makes me feel better about myself because I'm not up there making a fool of myself like that.

And Yara Sofia was, it's this weird thing where it's this combination where two things are happening at the same time that shouldn't be happening like a terrible snatch game but the most entertaining thing to watch because she's got this thick Puerto Rican accent English is not her first language even Alexis Mateo who is also Puerto Rican would say

yeah you think that like you can't understand her because she's speaking Spanish but I speak Spanish and I still can't understand what she's saying you know then she's trying to do on top of that a British accent

a British accent hilarious crazy you've been a part of like some of my favorite moments on Drag Race the untucked episode crazy you've been a part of like some of my favorite moments on drag race um the untucked episode we'll teleport us to mars that that shit yes yes it was so funny i love tammy

brown that was all stars one right all stars one tammy brown it is the most iconic snatch game moment in all of the world there will never be a an untucked episode that it was as chaotic as random as confrontational and dramatic there is another wait yeah that's Mimi change your dress

Mimi change it around yes that's when Mimi at first got so pissed she walked off set yes yes yes and then walked right back on cause she was like I'm sorry I'm a drag queen I gotta have this TV at this moment caught on camera gotta have that TV time

yes god that's great that episode's great another untucked that I love is wait were you there for the sugar daddy thing? That was. No, but we heard it. Because that was back in the day when they had like the gold lounge.

Yes, yes, yes. We were in the other room and it was like my, it was my team because like my team was in the bottom. So we thought we were all nervous. And then we heard some screaming going on in the other room. We're like, what are they fighting about? They won the challenge. Like, what are they going off about? And it was pretty insane.

So all of us were like, oh, well, they're fighting. So kick them off. Don't kick any of us off. Kick them off. They're fighting. They're bad. Let them go. That goes against the rules and regulations that are, know what rules and whatever rules and regulations there were and then truly you've been a part of so many iconic moments on that show

and then when naomi small sent you home on all stars while you were the front runner um which was like the elimination heard around the world um truly wild like people were like oh my god and i was like me personally i wanted to see more of you on the show but i understood it i was like of course everyone who's like eliminating the worst girl i'm like that means you don't want to win you gotta eliminate your competition so you can win. But then she didn't win. Yeah. See, that was like the part about it.

Like if you make a bold move. Well, I mean, honestly, like I knew in the show what an all all stars for when I returned, having done all an all stars already, even though the format was completely different because all stars one was done with the partners twist. I don't know why they did that. That was really awful. I thought that was so partners twist i don't know why they did that that was really awful i thought that was so unfair oh you know why they did that because um the network bought six episodes but the production company wanted to have 12 queens so they thought how are we going to have 12 queens how can we eliminate two of them at a time um and so i think that's kind of like what they were and they're trying to they were trying to do a twist or something different to make it to separate it

from the regular show well world of wonder it was not the move although I will say I will say that if they ever wanted to do a series with partners that would be actually really fun

because I love like the amazing race when you see like two people that like know each other and are like competing with each other like that would be s really fun. Because I love like the amazing race when you see like two people that like know each other and are like competing with each other. Like that would be sickening because like had they told us, like it would have been really cool to like me and Latrice like get together before the show

and like plan our outfits and plan stuff so that when we compete, we could compete as like a team. Like, you know, when you go to the Olympics and you're doing that when we compete, we could compete as like a team. Like, you know, when you go to the Olympics and you're doing partners on ice skating, you don't just like get randomly paired with someone. Like you go to the Olympics with your partner.

You know what I mean? So like that would be really cool. So I'm not saying that it's a bad idea. It just wasn't fully realized the way they think, I think that they wanted it to be. And definitely like, you know, when you try to switch up the format of drag race that you know people are just so like like in the in the zone and of like how you're

supposed to do it that they think that there's no other way to do it well with that i was like it just went so fast i was like i want more time with these queens that i love because it was um they did it after season four yeah yeah we had some sickening queens yes that's what i mean i was like we have nina flowers and we're trying to send her home quick like what pandora box was paired with poor mimi or poor poor pandora was paired with mimi um and pandora gave up immediately i mean i i don't blame her i would have been feeling the same way too if i got stuck and i don't talk shit about people publicly, but she was so rude to me at DragCon

that I do not care. Oh, damn. So rude. Oh my gosh. And I was like, all right, I guess you are first. What? A drag queen being rude? Never.

Never. Yeah, I was so shocked I said why is this happening to me don't you know who I think I am don't you know honestly at that point I don't think anybody knew who I was it was years and years and years ago well I've had those

moments where people like meet me and I'm not at my best and I'm like hungry or tired or I'm just like trying to piss or trying to get to the bathroom. You know, I've had literally people I've been to drag con and like there's no private restroom for the drag queens. So if I have to go pee, I have to go to like the public restroom. And I'm literally like parked up to a urinal, like trying to like untuck and take a piss before I like wet my tights. a urinal like trying to like untuck and take a piss before i like wet my tights and people are literally there standing with their phones like waiting for me to turn around to finish and to be like can we take a picture i'm like we're in a bathroom that's yeah which is fully fully wild

and honestly just wait outside you have to leave at some point i don't have to i could spend my whole time in the bathroom i guess you can be like find me in the bathroom you can get your pictures and get your fucking thing signed i'll be i'll be at stall three by the glory hole okay tell me about like the difference of like drag here and drag in the philippines oh my gosh okay so i had been wanting to go ever since i was on rupaul's drag race because like on season three i had heard from some fans in the philippines that they started like they started airing um season three specifically because i was on it in like some television show in the philippines so i was like yes i'm going to the philippines so i finally made it after years and years and years i finally made made it to the Philippines and baby, I was floored.

I have, I have been traveling around the U S I've seen drag from different countries, but I was not prepared for like just the dedication that the Queens in the Philippines have the creativity because like the Philippines is a third world country. So like, they don't have like the, the full fantasy that we have here in the States. So they, they can make their, but they make their costumes work for them.

Like you'd be looking up close and be like, Oh bitch, I see what you did there. Like, that's like a really clever way of making, you know, something sparkly or, you know,

taking some things that wouldn't necessarily be what you would think it would be in a costume, but like making it work and making it look glamorous i went to i did my first show in the philippines at this place called obar and the oh divas the cast there they they arrive to the venue at like two o'clock in the afternoon and then they do rehearsals dance rehearsals for the show that night. And then the shows, then they start getting in drag. So they're there from like two o'clock in the afternoon until like six o'clock in the morning.

Oh my God. Because they do like multiple shows throughout the night and each of the shows are different. And I just sat there watching like amazing drag performance after amazing drag performance. And I was like, these drag queens are turning it like full production numbers, full dance numbers,

group numbers, like, like full on every number was different. They did three shows, I think throughout the night and they were all completely different. And I was amazed because these Queens, you know, a lot of them like were traveling into the city from like, you know, where they live with their families, like, you know, their poor families.

Some of them would even like just sleep in the dressing room for the next day because it was easier for them just to catch some sleep and then like do the show the next day. I was thrilled because like I thought that I was a dedicated drag queen. I thought I was dedicated to the art of drag and the Queens in the Philippines, they were doing something like I had never seen. And their passion for it was beyond anything that I had ever witnessed before. And so like,

I had always wanted to like somehow shine light and bring more attention to Filipino drag. I was telling it to all my drag queen friends. I was like, Hey, if you ever go to the Philippines, you got to go check out the drag queens there like they'll amaze you

like when I did my show they're like hey would you like to fly during your number cause we have this like wire here we can hook you up to and you can just like do a fucking full Peter Pan around above the audience and I was like I've seen some videos and it's fucking

wild yes and that's fucking wild. Yes. And that's like the professional drag shows. That's not even talking about like just the people getting up and drag, you know, at the street parties

because they will do full on. Have you ever seen those videos on Facebook or on YouTube where like there's like just drag queens battling like climbing up the side of a wall and like getting like just going into a basketball hoop, like climbing up the side of a wall and like getting,

like just going into a basketball hoop and then dropping into the splits. Like that's the kind of drag they do out in the Philippines. It is over the top. It's crazy. Um, it doesn't matter if you're, if you are the most glamorous because like, I don't know if it's just Filipinos are just so pretty,

you know, like I, I thought I was the doll, Nicole. I thought I was't know. It's just Filipinos are just so pretty. You know, like I thought I was the doll, Nicole. I thought I was the beauty. And then you went to the Philippines and you were like, oh. I was the truck driver girl. I was the Tina Burner, honey. I was the big beast.

I was, yes, honey. I'm like such a dude when I go to the Philippines. I mean, I'm like at least a foot and a half taller than everyone else there. So it's just like, I stand out. But yeah, the drag in the Philippines is so amazing. So every time I go, I just always love watching the shows. I love tipping the girls. I always bring presents.

You know, like here's a bunch of of I just brought you a whole bunch of I don't even know if they need anything. I just like to give, like, I'm like, you just need, here's some glue sticks. Glue them eyebrows down. Here's some eyelashes. Everyone needs more eyelashes. I think everyone needs more eyelashes. I fucking love a lash.

Yes. I do love the different types of drag there seems to be in the philippines and i do like i've watched a bunch of those videos where it's just like like street battling like two queens fucking dancing it out climbing up trees and shit and i'm just like i wish there was more dirty drag here or like not dirty but like just down to earth gritty like let's just do it like what we have yeah it's just like drag. Like, what we have. Yeah, it's those, like, drag queens.

You see, like, those little kids and they're, like, you know, they're, like, modeling like they are in the Miss Universe pageant. But they're literally just, like, they literally have, like, cinder blocks tied to their feet as platform shoes. And then, like, a tie wrapped around their little titties. And it's just like, I love it. And, like, a giant palm branch like that's like a yes like a feather backpack like that's the kind of stuff that i love yeah because like drag is a fantasy and honestly like if you can create the fantasy where someone else watching also follows your fantasy like follows what you're giving giving like it's great because like i feel like these days we don't get to use our

imaginations as much no we're all just copying each other from like instagram and shit yeah like we we can't even want we have to now like our tv shows can't just be like on like a cute little sound stage they got to be like million dollar episodes you know full special effects like full-on disney plus like marvel cinematic universe like that style like full on Disney plus, like Marvel Cinematic Universe, like that style. Like you can't even watch like a silly sitcom anymore where it's just like three walls and a door and just like in front of a live studio audience.

Like the fantasy is no longer there. And I think that the drag in the Philippines definitely reminds you that like we all have our imaginations. We all can like share in this like theatrical experience where we're sharing our energy our combined energies and creating something that is unique to that moment that only lives in that exact moment and um that's why i love the drag in the philippines i mean that's why i look about drag too and in general i feel like because of the popularity of drag and it's always stepping its pussy up

like sometimes we forget about that but honestly some of the most amazing drag is the busted hilarious we don't give a shit drag you know what i mean yes i agree some of the funniest things i've seen are like oh just like i don't know like i think about lala ree's bag look it's so funny it is so funny to me i just had her on the podcast and i was like i really regret when i was judging not saying how funny it was because and it wasn't like i don't mean like i'm not like ha ha ha funny i'm just like that's just really funny like i don't think anyone would think to just glue bags to a corset like i don't think anyone would ever think of that and she was just like yeah i mean i i did it yeah and i think about it and it makes me laugh and that's like i think that's what art should do. Art should like make you think about it again.

And like if it elicits laugh, then it's like laugh. If it elicits laugh, that was a bad sentence. If it elicits laughter, then like I think it did its job. Yeah, I think that's like a really important about drag. And I think a lot of us have to remind ourselves that drag is not the real thing you know what i mean like it's not supposed to be whatever it's not supposed to be the real thing it can come close but that's what i love about drag it's like you can go onto an empty stage in a crappy you know bar and you can show up on that empty stage in this dark corner of a of a club and perform as

if you are Marilyn Monroe in a full soundstage MGM like whatever and it's up to the it's up to the imaginations of the drag queen and the audience to like live in that fantasy like yes she is Marilyn Monroe she's she's not just on a stage. She's descending from a crystal staircase. You know what I mean? Like we all get that like idea and that like fantasy. And I think that's like important.

I love Alaska Thunderfuck. Yes. Because she plays with the whole idea like drag doesn't have to be the full glamour like she will make that dress out of trash bags yeah but she will make it like voluminous and over the top and dramatic so that like you're like you know if that was made out of like a hundred hundred hundred dollar a yard beaded fabric that would be a sick stunning bitch yeah i love that i mean i love that she has like a fully coiffed hair and then like you turn to the back and then this in the back holding up

her like a rat vest or like a claw clip with the with a neon green claw clip like just giving away all of the secrets like this is you have gone behind the curtain and you are seeing what you're not supposed to see i like that part of drag. I think that's I think that's totally acceptable to like clock a bitch's lace front or to have or to have lumpy pads. I'm OK with that. You know what I mean? I think that like. Yeah, I agree.

You know, obviously for like if you're going to go on TV, you might want to like polish her up a little bit. Don't think so I think as long as you're funny and have a personality and you're bringing something to the table I think you can have all the lumps you want I agree on all the bags you want yes all of them anything you want okay

Manila real quick we got to take another break can we come back please from this break we're back just because you asked nicely okay so the holidays are coming up ho ho ho um what'd you call me i called you a fucking ho ho you're accurate accurate okay how do i get someone how do I find someone to love me in time for Christmas? This is airing the 23rd, I believe. So that's two days. How do I get someone for Christmas? Ooh.

Have you tried Craigslist? I have not tried Craigslist, but Craigslist might be an option for me. I mean, yeah who knows you know you should just put up one of those like like missed connection ads but just make something up and see if it actually comes to life comes yeah oh my god that's what I should do I saw you at the Starbucks and we exchanged looks I was wearing a hoodie and you were wearing pants maybe that's what i do because it's like okay so i'm lying i'm putting out a lie into the world and then whoever answers it is also putting a lie out into the world or they just thought you were someone else but like the

enough time has passed that they don't actually know that it was you. But okay, here's the thing that might happen. So we meet up and then they go, ugh, that's not the same bitch I thought I was talking to. And then I'm like, sorry about it. And then they're like, ugh, tutu, I don't like you. Then what do I do? Well, it's Craigslist, so you murder them and bury their body in a lake.

Ah, there we go. I'm going to murder someone and bury their body in a lake ah there we go i'm going to murder someone and bury them in a lake i don't think i could murder anybody though one i don't think you should murder yeah definitely like you would be arrested immediately because we'd be talking about it right now on the podcast and well i don't are you on like the dating apps is that a is that a thing i am on all of the dating apps truly all of them i'm on hinge ok cupid bumble uh tinder a fat one called woo plus i was on happen i think that's what it was called um i just signed up for field um and then i just signed up for blk um i was on coffee meets bagel but i fucking hated that one because you you know like play

games to like earn beans to spend on bagels don't ask me what that means i don't fucking know and then i'm on raya i pay too much fucking money for raya and i match with nobody on raya nobody wants me on raya it is how you say a little depressing yeah well okay so maybe the dating apps are not for you they're not for me and then also i don't understand why men just go, hey, how's it going? You can't think of anything else to say? I mean, it's hard to come up with a good opening line. It's really hard. Maybe you should ask people if they want to be on your podcast.

Oh, I don't know. Hey, you want to be on my podcast? That might turn people right off to be like, okay, let's publicly talk about relationships and sex before we go out. I mean, I guess. You know, I have no clue. I don't know. I feel like gay dating apps are very different from straight dating apps. I think gay men are just like,

I need some dick and I need it now. Have you heard of, have you heard of this app? It's not an app. Have you heard of the site called sniffies? It's like sniffies sniffies. I know it's cause they were a sponsor on my podcast with the trees. Yeah.

It's just like website. It's like, it's so explicit that it can't be like downloaded from apple because it's just like they don't approve it's just so bad wait how do you get it then you have to like hop on your computer old school bitch whatever but it gives you it shows like people's the profiles are just their dicks or their holes and it just shows you like where they where they are you don't need to know their face you don't need to you don't all you need to know that's so wild to me i don't think okay i'm at sniffies.com it's a map-based dating app uh dating and meetups find fun local

guys yeah it's like it's like cruising like you know all the gays used to like cruise like we'd go to like the rest stops or you know like there'd be like some bathroom with a glory hole it's kind of it's kind of in that vein where it's like it doesn't even matter who they are it's just it's a dick or it's a hole um wait this is wild so you can browse you can log in as a member or you could browse uh just anonymously oh but i have to allow it to use my location i don't know if i want sniffies to know where oh girl everyone knows i mean the world like the you know the cloud knows where you are girl like is it gonna matter if you're on sniffies too i let it know um there's a lot of men downtown oh my god this is wild this man is just bent over with

his dick hanging out okay yeah see i feel like gay dating apps is a little bit more like let's just do the sex and then once you get the sex you're like hey you have like that awkward conversation and sometimes those awkward conversations after you both nut are what forge friendships or relationships. Here's the thing. There's nobody near me. They're all downtown. Oh, my God. This one.

Well, you live in a nice part of town. So I can only imagine that like the glory holes are in like the seedy areas. that like the glory holes are in like the seedy areas this man is 31 5 10 130 pounds 8 inches cut fit i love it can you just forward that to me i just want to check that out later i mean this is wild this man has a pig emoji over his face which is pretty funny to me um he is muscular he's versed he's a geek and a bro he's hosting a pump and dump tuesday at 3 p.m 3 p.m girl let's go early yes three no because sometimes those last really long time this is so funny for me. Okay. Well, maybe this might not be the way you find a date for your Christmas party, but it is at least a look into what your alternative could be if the Tinder or the bagel meets coffee doesn't work for you.

I really love this man's profile. Okay. He's a nerdy commie muscle cum peg here who loves talking as much man seat, taking as much man seat as possible, as well as felching, breeding other loaded pigs like myself, right? Pizza plus no drugs ever.

All colors. Welcome races can F off. That'd be most of you. LOL. I regularly do come dump hotel sessions. And then his interaction is anonymous. Come and go. Door open.

That's really funny to me. Just come into my house, fuck me, and then leave. Yeah, it's like that Bruno Mars song. Oh my God. Wait, which Bruno Mars song? Just leave that door open! God, I'm enthralled by sniffles.com. Yes, sniffies.

Yes, you gotta. Oh, I'm sorry. Sniffies.com. Use the code Nicole. No, I'm kidding. I don't know. Sniffies.com. Use the code Nicole.

No, I'm kidding. I don't know. Manila, thank you so much for being here. I ask all my guests this. Would you date me? Nicole, I would for sure date you. I would do more than date you. I would marry you.

Oh my God. Yes, honey. Thank you. And then like White Lotus, you might be murdered by a bunch of gays on a yacht. Just so be careful. Just be careful. I've never seen White Lotus, so I don't understand the memes.

I don't understand the like theme song thing. I don't get any of it. I didn't watch season one. I didn't watch season two. And I feel like I'm really missing out on like- That's probably why you're single. I mean, maybe that's what it is. Maybe.

I didn't watch Game of Thrones either there's just so many things that everybody watched that I was like I don't know I'm not here for it yeah well um yeah maybe that's a lot maybe that's a lot

well you know what though I will say this it took me a really long time to finally watch Game of Thrones. It was until I watched, it was the pandemic when I was like, I have plenty of time now. And I got nothing to watch on TV. So let's watch Game of Thrones. Yeah. There's like a lot of incest and murder in that.

So maybe that's like probably. It doesn't seem like happy or fun. It seems like dark and like sad. Okay. Well, yeah. I mean, you know what? Maybe there is someone out there that also hasn't watched Game of Thrones or White Lotus that it would be the perfect person for you to watch it with them. And then you can start a relationship with them.

I don't know. You know, that would be I'm late on everything. I just started watching The Office last year. But you are a comedian so like why would you want to watch a show about some office like that seems like the last thing you want to watch i mean it's really funny i don't know why i waited so long it is it's pretty hilarious well i mean she's late to the party she's late to the relationship so and she's late to sniffies everything okay manila is there anything you want to promote of course of course of course nicole you know that i you

already spoke about it i've got my show drag den with manila luzon on amazon prime video it's around the world it actually was number one in the Philippines, which is amazing. I'm so proud. I'm so proud of our entire production and all of our drag queens. We have some amazing drag queens and we let them fight it out.

So please go check that out. I would love, love, love for our queens to get the attention that they deserve. I love that. Okay. And if you like this episode of, I want you to date me,

you can like it, you can rate it, you can subscribe on Apple podcast. And if you write me something hitting on me, that's nasty and short. These have gotten so fucking long. Let's edit ourselves. I sound like such a bitch,

but when you, when I i read this you'll see it's pretty long um to why won't you jamie podcast at gmail.com mars my producer reads it she does not want to see holes or dicks or titties or anything of the sort no pictures just words this person said dear nicole my balls ring are you listening in your vajayjay oh this is funny i take it back if it's long and funny that's fine in your vajayjay your cum is glistening a beautiful sight we're frightened all right clit munching in a winter wonderland that's right nicole the cum trucks are back and it's better than ever for christmas this year i'll chew your labia minora That's right, Nicole. The cum trucks are back and it's better than ever.

For Christmas this year, I'll chew your labia minora. Virgo rising like I was chewing on the tires of a Hestruck from 1997. If you didn't sing the Hestruck jingle while reading my message, I will swallow. I will swallow your juices or I'll swallow the tree. The world will never know, but you will. Love, some deranged who wholeheartedly agrees with every every filthy thing you've said on this podcast full send um you can tell my listeners that i'm a fully cisgender bisexual woman with jingle balls between my legs for your sweet missile camel toe i surely wouldn't be a silent night with you and me

ha ha ha please don't report me bye honestly it can be that long if it's that funny because i love the hess truck jingle that was very oh my god that's a throwback it's better than ever for christmas this year the house truck is here okay bye-bye that's it for why won't you Date Me with me, Nicole Byer. Why Won't You Date Me is produced and engineered by, oh, the sweetest woman I know, Marissa Melnick. It is executive produced by other wonderful people, Adam Sachs, Joanna Solo-Taroff, and Jeff Ross. Thanks for listening. I love you.

Thank you so much. We'll be seeing you next Friday with a brand new episode. What a dream. What a dream. Ha ha ha. This has been a Team Coco production.