Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Fraud & Legal Battles (w/ Lexi Love)

Episode Date: November 21, 2025

What happens when a porn actress comes after your drag name? Lexi Love (RuPaul's Drag Race S17) joins Nicole to talk through the legal fight she never expected to be in and what it is costing her to protect the career she's built. She opens up about the panic attacks she had while filming her season of Drag Race and shares the mistreatment she experienced in rehab, which became a traumatic part of her recovery journey. Plus, Lexi also talks about her past life teaching anti money laundering to bankers, her best dates, and the night she was left abandoned with a bill she couldn’t pay.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport Lexi Love's legal battle at gofundme.com/f/the-real-lexi-love-fund.See Lexi Love on tour with A Drag Queen Christmas. Get tickets at dragfans.com.Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/3v6r90n6 #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Wayfair: Wayfair. Every Style, Every Home.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer is produced by Mars. Guest research by Lyndsey Kempf. Executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. VP of content is Kaiti Moos. Theme song arranged by Mike Comite. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description. This is a headgum podcast. Extra value meals are back. That means 10 tender juicy McNuggets and medium fries and a drink are just $8. Only at McDonald's. For limited time only.

Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Don't rim the butts of straight men. straight men sometimes be having mud butts and stuff no i they definitely definitely definitely do it's absolutely horrendous um and shout out to those looking for the d l trade you are doing god's work out there remember if you paint the d l trade who are they going to tell why won't you date me why won't you date me why won't you date me why won't you date me why won't you me please tell me why oh baby welcome to another episode of why won't you date me a podcast for me

Nicole buyer has been trying to figure out why I was so single even though you could come on my wall and tell me it's a paint sample oh my fucking god my guest today is an iconic drag queen who competed on RuPaul's drag race season 17 one of my favorite queens, a diva who's stunning. Truly a runway package that rivals no other. She's currently on tour with a drag queen Christmas, a tongue twister. You can get your tickets at dragfans.com. Just kidding, calm. It's Lexi Love. Oh my God. Hi, Diva. How are you? I'm good, my love. How are you? I'm good. I'm so excited. I genuinely think you were one of the most stunning queens to go through the competition.

Thank you. Yes. Turning fucking look. Well, you know. And bringing the drama. The episode where I think it was on your nerve spray painted on your... I don't recall. By accident. It was an accident.

Absolutely. Allegedly. But honestly, iconic in this big coat walking around. Who did it? Who did it? Yeah, just the utter gutteral screams. But here's the thing. That was like episodes in The Pressure.

was on. There's cameras on you. People don't know. Like, y'all are filming quick. It's like a day per episode, sometimes a day and a half. Never knew it was that fast girl. It's wild. Nobody knows. It's nuts. From like, here's your challenge to seeing it on the runway. No time. No time at all. And they stop watch it. You know, like they're counting the milliseconds down to it. Like, it's shocking, surprising, and thrilling. Oh, at the same time. It's wild. How did you deal with the pressure during shoot it did you not see me i dealt horribly with it i was having a panic attack constantly no i i i surprised myself in the long run because i think that i am even mentally i know it didn't seem like it but stronger than um i ever thought possible that was that was a real

ringer for um i think for me specifically maybe some of these younger kids it was easier to go through. They hadn't run through a lot. There's not a lot to work through. But there was bones in them closets. Well, it's a lot to have a camera on you at all times. And then if something shitty happens, sometimes it's hard in the moment to react, you know, in a way that you would rather see on television. But it is what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I had a tendency of not being able to control that moment. But in all reality, I think it was kind of refreshing. for a lot of people to see somebody like them. Good TV.

Have those moments. Well, I wasn't thinking about it then, but I agree with you now, darling. In hindsight, I was like, yes. I was good television. Look at me go. I plan that. Oh, yeah. Here's a question. Are you single?

Are you dating? You're engaged, right? I'm engaged. Yes. Yes. Celebrated. I know. I love it.

When did you get engaged? So this was a lovely little happy. thing that happened back in September. We kind of slid off. I had gone through a little rehab stand this year. I had lots of things that weighed on my mind

in and out, as you all saw on the show, my life is a roller coaster. It's high highs and low lows. And I feel like Jay just really rode that train with me like no other. And as soon as the idea of us discussing

something so serious like that, I don't think I've ever had somebody be so into it. You know, like, normally you're the one that's like, oh, my God, I can see me married one day. I can't picture it. And the other person you're with is always like, yeah, maybe, you know, that's not rather my game right now. For him, he was like, I see the vision. I see, I see, I know exactly. I know, I know what you're planning already.

I can plan it for you. And so to have somebody that eager and that sure, I guess you could say, I was like, who am I to say no? I fucking love that I love that because you do want someone to match you and you want someone to be excited about the prospect of like what does our future look like and I love is this a wig as a ponytail

well yes it is a full wig did you notice the part yes yes I was like what's going on up there what is that that's I'm dying I fucking love that pure drag ingenuity this is old school drag You know, the kids tried to read me on Twitter for this. They try to call out my part in the middle of my ponytail.

And I'm saying, you did not see drag in 1999 through 2007. Because if you did, you probably gives it some credit. I mean, I give it credit. That's a full ponytail. Thank you. She is full. But I truly love that. I love that.

Also, I love that you went to rehab. And I love that you are open about talking about. it because I feel like sometimes people don't want to, like, say, oh, I needed help, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's great that you went and did it stick? That's a rude question. I mean, what's the actual question I want to know? Was it helpful? Did it do its purpose? Yeah. So, very interesting. I would say with a resounding yes, because of where I am today and what I'm doing successfully and what I'm back in the midst of doing where you can catch me at.

Um, but in all seriousness, I had a very traumatic experience when I went to rehab. I had to leave early. Um, there was severe mistreatment of LGBTQ people, of transgender people. Um, I was led to believe a lot of things that were absolutely falsehoods and fake. And it left me in a place where I was becoming a little bit more traumatized by that experience than what I was going in for. Um, at the end of everything, I was, um, being misdiagnosed, benzo. sleeping pills at an alarming amount that like for my body weight would have would have done damage and like I had to like verbally argue with staff to get them not to get forced me to take the medication so I said the day after that I'm not I'm not going back there so that is its whole like own nightmare and I can only be so public about it when I'm announcing coming back yeah so I had a

slew of people on the internet being like oh here she goes you know she can't snick with anything. Just everybody had some thought and or thing to say that was negative. So just to the people that stayed positive about it. Thank you. Yeah. I mean, rehab is a journey in itself. And then having to advocate for yourself in a place that's supposed to help you is hard. And I think that's important to talk about. It's like, sure, these people are supposed to be out here helping me. But like, if they don't fucking know or if it's not working for me, I can't just sit there and go, oh, okay, thank you so much. much. It's like, no, I actually don't think I should be on these pills or I don't think that

diagnosis is correct. I'm going to get a second opinion. Like, yeah, I, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. That fucking sucks. Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah, no, it's, it's been, it's again, own high and low journey. The J-word, baby. The J-word. A journey, journey, journey. I'm on a journey so much. I'm a J-Walker at this point, honey. Arrest her. She's a Jay Walker. I'll show you my tits. Don't. So you, how old were you when you first started doing drag?

And did you put yourself in drag for the first time? Oh, that's a good question. Hey, thank you. I was two weeks before my 18th birthday because we were the gay runaway, shut out, whatever. Then my original drag mom, know me love, painted me in drag for the first time. I was so eager. I was so excited. I was like shaking with anticipation.

By the time she revealed me to this mirror, I thought maybe she just stuck a lash on me and a lip liner. And I said, what the hell did you do? Mind you, my example of drag was India, Farah, and penetration, because they worked where I was working back then. Yes, and they paint. I mean, I thought I needed to be carved out to be a wing. Yes, like a heavy contour. My mother knew, she knew the doll that was within. She knew where I would end up one day.

Now I'm painting how she painted me that day, but that day, absolutely mortified. I was like, oh, no, no, I've got to go in here and just dig and hollow out with these colors. Oh, I would never again. That's so funny because I feel like other people's experience that I've heard is like, I was painted so heavy and I loved it and I felt so good and confident. And you were like, no, more, cover it up, cover it up. There's so much real estate here. Mommy!

So you have a big drag family, yes? I... Now I do. So my new motto, my new goal, is to have a drag daughter in every state. Oh, whoo. 50. Is there only 50? I think there's only 50 states.

Okay, good. I'm Canadian. I have no... Yeah, Mars is Canadian. Trust me. I'm American. Wait. You're, Luke, you're 22.

Yeah, you're in college. How many... You're still in school. How many states are there? There are 50 states. in America. Okay, thank you so much. And we have territories like Puerto Rico, the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Guam? Yeah, Guam is a U.S. territory. What else? The Bahamas? The Bahamas? No, not the Bahamas are. Trust me. I went to school in Kentucky.

Don't ask me. And I went to a public school in New Jersey. I mean, ask me? I'll be like, maybe I know this? I don't know. So wait, you don't live in Kentucky anymore. You live in Ohio now? Oh, unfortunately, we are just separated by a little body of water called the Ohio River.

So I am right there in the ass crack of both of them. He's on my assistance on the Ohio side, and I'm on the Kentucky side. I had a house with my crazy day job that I had before drag race. Yes, that you worked at five days a week and then on the weekend. Anti-money laundering, yes, yes. Anti-money laundering. I taught anti-money laundering. Which is wild.

Yeah, yeah. But I did. I worked seven days a week. I had a house in one city. I had an apartment in another city. And I would just go and work and go and work. And I did that for like four or five years until I got on the show. Did that burn you out at all?

Probably. That's a long time to be working seven fucking days a week. I'm telling you. I really was, at some point I was like, this is not. this is not worth it. This is just not like it's not making me happy. It's getting me from point A to point B. I'm accomplishing goals that I want to accomplish. But like everyone around me was like, you're fucking crazy. And then they would go to bed. And then I would drive home to go to work that morning. And now, lo and behold, everything that has happened, they're like, so girl, what time did you get up that morning? Because I just wanted to know what time I should be getting up because I'm going to my day job. That is now a day job and the night. job and I'm actually taking on a third job to try and top you. And I'm like, go for it. I'm sickening. I'm so proud of you. I wish somebody was doing it when I was. Here's a question. What is, okay, anti-money laundering. Yeah. What would, what is a thing that you would tell them? Okay. So I would teach the bankers

how to go in, let's say your account, if there is a red flag or an indication that there is money laundering happening. And I would show them what to look for to give them those recommendations or indications. And then we would make the recommendation to close your account completely. You could have millions of the bank. And we could make the recommendation, shut them down. And you would just have like somebody to check off all of your work. But maybe we had power. So, okay, is like a sign of money laundering, like large deposits? That is a great indicator. Um, yes, my love. So, um, big sums of cash, um, maybe money coming in from foreign places that it doesn't

normally come in from, um, amounts of cash that doesn't sum up to what your, um, annual income or what your job occupation is. There's so many requirements now that they can, like, go through and dig through. Girl. I see, okay, I genuinely find this interesting because have you ever seen that movie catch me if you can with Leonard Coopero. Yes. Okay, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Where he was like washing checks and writing different numbers on that. Clause. The TV show Clause. Oh, I've only seen the first season. Baby washing that money in the what are those, the pill clinics. Oh my gosh, yes.

So now I feel like, you know, you know, you're washed money. That's exciting. But do you think fraud is harder to do in the age of the internet? Or do you think it was, do you think it was, like, easier when there was no internet or the internet's made it easier? I think that. I love fraud.

I know. Internet definitely. Internet's fucking it up, okay? It's messing fraud up. The other issue I'm going to say is just plastics. You know, people have switched from using cash so much. Yes. It's so hard to launder money that's not launderable.

You know what I mean? If it's already in the financial institutions, it's already been. integrated. Interesting. Would you monitor, sorry, I have so, okay, would you monitor like offshore accounts? Like if someone had an account in like the Cayman Islands, would you be like, that's a red flag? Well, here's the thing.

If that person had money come in from their account at the Cayman Islands, absolutely, anything from the Cayman Islands anywhere is a red flag in the U.S. Okay. Bingo. Bingo. Bingo bingo. And Switzerland, right? Swiss.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. But let me tell you this, we send a lot of. a lot of money out to the Swiss. Oh. Yeah, that was something that really wasn't as big of a red flag. There's, like, five countries that are like major no-nows. Can't do that. They're going to send the money back.

What are they? I just want all my scammers to be aware. Well, you know, they update this list every so often. So, it's like Cuba. Iran. You know, the Crimea region. Oh. Yeah. I mean, go

figure, Crimea. No, it's just, it's very, it's very crazy. The one thing that I will say was my biggest joy out of the job was the, I guess you could say like the legal cases. So we would have to investigate people that get arrested that are either convicted or maybe they just got, they got let off with, you know, paying a, what is that? If you just pay like a civil suit or something like that instead. We got to read all of their court documents.

So there was like today, current day, like mafia things going on, drug cartel stuff. Yes, and you're reading their depositions. It really, really, really, really was. Oh my God, I'm so jealous. That's a fun day job. I would be sitting there smoking weed, shoving my face with popcorn, going, holy shit. She did not. Okay, yeah, close that account, baby.

Close it down. Close it down. My favorite is like when people get caught. And it's like they bought a yacht. Their kids were going to private school. They drove a rolls. And I'm like, diva, if you have stolen money, like, drive a corolla. Like, have them go to public.

Like, don't buy expensive things. Yeah. Right? You would think. You would think. But that is one of the most common ways that people just would get away with something like that back in the day. But again, with the way that things run now, it's impossible to do anything without a paper trail. Almost.

Almost. Almost. Now I kind of want to commit fraud just to see if someone will catch me. Guess what? You already are. I'm just kidding. Imagine? I was like, oh my God, how?

I got so excited. I was like, help. You too can help your friend's fraud. And you can find out on Patreon. Here is the fraud I want to commit. Okay. So Delta One has a lounge, and it's a really nice lounge, and there's a restaurant, and the food's, like, pretty good. So I want to buy a Delta one ticket, go to the lounge, not get on the plane, get my money refunded, and have a nice free dinner.

That is actually very clever. That's the fraud I want to do. That is so clever. Because I did it once, but I didn't go in the lounge. I think that's just called a free trial. Right? Yeah, I don't think that it's even fraud. Yeah, it's just a little probationary period.

Don't clip that for social because I really want to try it, and I don't want Delta to be on high alert about me. I don't want Ed Bastian to be like, she can't come in the loud. Baby, when we did that little Nikki Minaj, we thought that we were going to be on Delta's no flight list, baby. So trust me, I understand that concern. Did you ask before you did that? Fuck no. What do you mean did I ask? Honey, we waited until the security was gone, and we booked it. All you could hear was me, clod hopping through the airport.

Come through. Here's a question. So when you were on the show, you were with your fiancé, right? Were you together or no? So, no. We were not together when I was actually on the show. We met right after I came back before everything was announced. So were people sliding into your DMs trying to get at you?

Like, as you were on TV? I, I, yeah. So this is something that just happens. I don't necessarily, I don't feed into a lot of that. And I don't like, I think a lot of times it's just like very, very weird, perverted people. So I'm just like, whatever. But yes, I get a lot of those types of things. So yes, yes.

I feel like that. I feel like it's still happening. It's probably happening right now. Right now you're just getting nasty little messages. Nasty little deck pecks. What was your dating life like before the show? Did you date a lot? Did you stay single a lot?

No, I'm not a serial dater or anything like that. I'm a very committed girl. So I was in a quite serious relationship with someone a little bit younger than I. I was playing Cougar for the moment. And right before that, I had gotten out of like a 10-year, very serious relationship. And we worked at the financial job together. So I feel like I've always taken relationships very seriously in my life. And that's probably like an indication of my childhood or some kind of trauma that I have anyways.

But, yeah, no, relationship's very, very big on and very dedicated to. Ten years is a super long time to be in a relationship. Can I ask, did it end amicably? Is that how you say it? Amicably? No, surprisingly enough, I feel like it did. We had, we got sober together. Okay.

I was a crystal math whiz, and I, you know. I did meth one time, I cleaned my whole house, and I said. said, I feel great. And then I couldn't sleep for a very long time. And I was like, I don't know what this was, but it was not fun. It's not what I thought it was. No, I got clean with him. So we went through a very, let's say, like life-changing, traumatic, but like transforming period together.

So we kind of felt like we couldn't leave each other. And then I finally was able to open up and be able to gender express myself. and transition, and it just seemed he actually had an ex-wife. So when I started to become a lady, he was like, he said, no, no, no, no. I've done this. I've done it. I love you. Been there, darn it, I don't want a woman.

No. And I'm like, and I said, gender affirming. I said, thank you. Yeah, that's affirming. And I'm going to help you find someone. So I. Oh, did you? Oh, yeah, absolutely.

I helped him find the man of his dreams. I like that. Oh, absolutely. I don't want to leave this life with enemies. And that's even people that I necessarily don't have the best, you know, ending with. So I think ensuring that we have a good relationship to continue on is only going to make me happier. I like that. I think that's, I think a lot of people end relationships in a way where they're like, I hate that person. So, okay, I'm obsessed.

Why the fuck did you date them in the first place? I'm obsessed with Wolfgang Puck. Oh. And he has arrested. where the co-owner of the restaurant is his ex-wife, and they did not end on good terms, but they still co-owned that restaurant, so they still have to, like, see each other. And I'm like, ah, if only you've, like, understood each other's differences and whatnot, you could, like, co-own it harmoniously, but no.

It's like, but at this point, what are you holding on to? Why are you holding on to anything at this point? You're making money. You're successful. You have nothing to worry about other than being bitter. Yeah. Life must be boring. Life must be really boring.

I agree with you. People who hold onto things and, like, think about things and, like, harp on it. And, like, I hate that fucking bitch. It's like, yeah, go live a life. Go have a nice time. Go to Disney. Yeah. Pet a dog.

Yeah. Something. Pet a dog. Girl, stop petting erotic. You got a nice outfit. Have a nice time. Anything other than this. I try really hard not to be bitter.

Yeah. And I try really hard not to be bitter. hard not to be negative. But sometimes it's nice to hate on somebody and be like t-he-he-he and then just like leave it alone. I know I know nothing about that. I don't know what you mean. I'm not that type person. I love talking shit, but not holding the hate in my heart. Exactly. I do it with a smile and a twinkle in my eye. Yeah. It's like when people comment shit, I've talked about this so much on the podcast. I think it should be illegal to put negative comments on people's social media. Why? Why are you in your home? Without your name, address, and data.

to birth. If you leave that, you can leave any disparaging comments you want about me, but I want to have your location turned on. Yes. Yeah, I want to be able to find you. And then I want to steal your identity. Yeah, I want to find you at 2.30 a.m. 2.30 a.m. I would be so excited at 2.30

a.m. if I woke up and you were like in my room and then, let's see love! Wait, okay, so there's somebody who says you infringed on their name. What happened with this? You had to Change your social. Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to. More fraud. No. Yay. Fraud. This is the fraud. We don't like. Okay. The thing is... Wait, before we get into it, we have to take a break. So it's the holiday season, which means everyone is shopping, everyone is busy, and everyone's trying to get your money. I swear, every time I open my phone, there's some wild scam popping up just last week. Someone tried to convince me that I won a luxury cruise for two, and I was like, no, I don't want to go on a cruise.

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Bebarba-ba-ba. We're back. Okay, tell me about this. So, Gagatondra, this woman existed without my knowledge, okay? There is another clever woman out there that created the name Lexi Love, okay? And she did a slew, and that is a lot of pornographic videos under my entertainer name. Oh. And I... Were they good?

I refuse to watch them. Okay, I get it. So, I know, really, I think a great little gimmick would be reading through just a couple of the titles because they literally, I belly cackled over some of these. Wait, really? Can I look up some? Oh, please, please. My most favorite title is Whitezilla is a motherfucker, too. Yes!

Two! Two! There was a one. I love it. It did so well that there's a sequel. It did. It did. She's very into anal play.

She's a big anal girlie. So I thought it was me at first. But then you're reminded. So, yeah, just Lexi Love, IMDB. Anybody any time you guys want, we'll get her some extra. Okay, I was Googling it, but I'm going to. Okay, IMDB. My favorite is how she's number four for.

What? GTA, that GTA number four. She was a GTA prostitute number four. She couldn't even prostitute number one on GTA. Teen booty beat down. Teen booty beat down. Wait, wife switch 16? That means there's 15 other wife switches.

Dirty little threesome, part two, anal fixation. It's epic. It's... Panny pops. Addicted to latex. I love these cherry pimps. First time wife swappers, little gaping lesbians one. Mommy gangbang five?

I'm... And she said cease and desist to you. She's like, I'm not this disgusting drag queen. I'm like, no, you're not. Wait, was she, like, upset that you were a drag queen? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. This is iconic, natural and hairy 22, white trash nurses, teens like it, big, hot bush. Big wet butts!

Big wet butts is, I might have to watch big wet butts, anal buffet, Bush administration, Lord of Ass is 13. You're right. These are iconic. Squirt Gang Bang 3. Hairy movie. Squirtilicious. Hairy movie. Black-boned.

I don't know, girl. That one's tough for me. Oh, my God. Pussy in a bottle? I'm gonna ruin my makeup. I am floored that Hotbush was like, I don't want to drag with using my stage name. Oh, my God.

Well, she said, I've had a 20-year career and you're erasing it in this amount of time. Because when you search me, you only find you. And I said, wow, that speaks for your 20-year career. That doesn't speak for me. I mean, I guess black-boned didn't do so hot. People aren't looking for it. That's really, so did you have to, like, change your drag name, like, or just your socials? So, unfortunately, as of now,

I am putting my dead name on my account so she can't attack it. It is what it is. It's still my name. Thank you. It still sucks, though. It does. Because it's not your chosen name.

It really does. Yeah. But I'm, you know, I'm a team player. That's what she said in Gangbusters 10. Yeah, I'm just, it's right now the name is a waiting game. And it, um it took it humbled me to be in the top four of drag racing to have to make a go fund me

because this woman is getting my bookings taken away so i'm having big event gigs that are pulling out because she doesn't want she's sending the cease and assist that's not even a real cease and assist that no lawyer is backing that nobody's actually pursuing them and they're like you know what we just don't want the trouble yep we're not going to do it i am so sorry yeah that fucking suck. Yeah, so I've probably lost like 25K in the last six months from her alone, just from bookings. Um, and then they wanted to turn around and say, you know, you have to pay so many thousands for your retainer for a trademark lawyer. That's more expensive than a regular lawyer. And I said, I don't have that money. And I said, now I really don't have that money.

So we resorted to go funding. What if you just changed the eye to a why? I would see. That sounds like it would work. But guess what? Then she's going to say it's Too similar. And she's still doing that. She would literally, we changed it just to Lexi and venues still pulled out. So I don't really know what else to do other than lawyer up. Oh, damn. I'm sorry.

That sucks. It does. And let me tell you, from being somebody doing hard math equations under a bridge to now buying a lawyer for trademark law is a complete. 180 in life that I never thought I'd have. Have you spoken to porn, Lexi? Said Lexi. I have reached out to said dollface, and she refuses to have any communication whatsoever

and just wants me to like turn over everything Lexi love involved. And I'm like, eat my dick. Truly. Yeah, munch, munch. Crunch. That's rude. If there was a... for Nicole buyer I'd be like have at it

I'd be like can we partner can I get a license it how much do you want for me to use like if it's that important to you because I didn't want to have to lawyer up but now now that we're doing this yeah I will definitely be keeping looks at well do you still have the go fund me

I do the go fund me is up and running so if you would like to donate to the go fund me to conquer and crush porn Lexi Love. I never thought this would be happy. What the look? Please help me. No, thank you.

I really appreciate it. That would be amazing. I did not expect to have to do this, but it is literally what we got to do. It is interesting when you start being in the public eye, what issues arise? Like, never in your life did you think that your name, your chosen name would be a thing.

My drag name turned chosen name. Yes. It would end up being something that somebody on the other side of the country is like, no, bitch. You can't have it. Like, are you fucking kidding me right now? It's always the white women. Sorry, Mars.

Thanks. Thanks. Thanks, Mars. Geez. Real quick, we got to take another break. officially here. And if you're anything like me, you're already panicking a little. You want to get something that actually feels personal, but not like you spent hours scrolling or crafting. That's where Uncommon Good saves the day. They have thousands of gifts you won't find anywhere else.

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Here's a question. When you're single, how do you deal with being, do you enjoy being single? I know you're not currently, but did you enjoy it? No. I hate being alone. I have severe anxiety. I have severe, like, not, not. And maybe not, like, dependent personality traits, but I do need reassurance from a partner or somebody that I trust in a very intimate way.

I need that, like, sounding board constantly. Without that, I feel a little crazy. That's me. And it's called codependency. I really thought I was avoiding that. No. And I think it's okay to be codependent as long as you understand your codependent. I absolutely agree with that.

Okay. Yes. Because sometimes I'll be. like, uh-oh, I'm falling into a codependency pattern. Let me see if I can get myself out of it. Let me, like, make some choices on my own and be okay with that. Absolutely. Yeah.

I think as long as you know it's okay. Well, see, the thing we're doing better than our parents, because that's where you modeled, that's where a lot of times this relationship gets modeled after. And I can tell you one thing. My mom does not know that about herself. It is interesting. I saw, I didn't watch the whole thing. I saw a clip of a TED talk.

that it says you're just searching for relationships like if you lived with your parents you're looking for that relationship you lived with your grandparents you're looking for that relationship because that's what feels safe and at home and like if you grew up in a toxic

household toxicity feels more at home than normal and I was like that's wild that's my life I had a problem yeah absolutely totally it's not a problem it's just how we're programmed

it's kind of wild It's eye-opening, I think, to go through this type of experience, especially for somebody of my age. Just because there's more things, I think, for me to process and for me to be able to be perceptive of because a lot of times it's, you're too young to see the bigger picture. You're too young just be able to step back and be like, oh, I see what's happening here. And I feel like I was able to do a lot of that. So while there was a lot of young viewers, maybe that was just like, God, she's just all over the place. a lot of other people were like, oh, she's real, like, all of it's making sense now, you know, like things are actually opening up in that bigger picture.

So, well, I think it's interesting being on a reality television show. It's not actually reality. And I think people need to just get that in their brain. It is not real. If you take somebody's footage from two hours and edit it down to five minutes, you can literally portray them in 20 different. ways. Absolutely. And people don't understand that. It's like maybe they leave out this or leave out that. And also they don't take in

consideration. You had a whole life before Drag Race. That has influenced how you respond to things. Listen, the people need to know. They need to know. Wake it up. Wake it up. Wake it up. Wake it up America. Wake it up. Lexi, do you have any advice for single people at all?

Advice for single people. Yeah. Don't settle. Oh. Never settle. A lot of times you hear about people get into relationships They do it just because they feel like they need to Or they have codependent issues like us Just doing things I think for the right reasons And with the right intention in any aspect in your life

Will ensure happiness I think it's when we misconstrue our intentions And when we do things for the wrong reasons Is when things backfire on us in life I like that I think that's good advice Yeah And suck dick

Yes Suck dick Subdick eat pussy Do all the things you like to do Just use your mouth That's my advice Use your mouth Rim those butts

Rim them up You know I take that back Don't rim the butts Of straight men No Straight men sometimes be Having mud butts and stuff

No I They definitely definitely Definitely do It's absolutely horrendous And shout out to those looking for the DL trade. You are doing God's work out there. Remember, if you paint the DL trade, who are they going to tell?

That's very funny to me. I really like that. Who are they going to tell? Who are they going to tell? What is your idea of like the, oh, what's the most romantic date you've been on? Oh, TBD. I have not gotten a lot. lot of memorable, let alone, like, iconic date experiences.

I think that, like, mine and Jay's relationship, like, who I'm currently with, we haven't had a lot of opportunities to do things like that. So now we're doing, like, cutesy. Like, we do dinner dates every week. And, like, you know, I always heard of people doing things like that. And I was like, they don't really do that. People really do that. They do.

Really cute. But, I mean, yeah, nothing. nothing really yet. So I am waiting for that experience, that like big wow date. What is your, like in your brain, what's like the most

romantic date? The most romantic experience I could get I think that's going to be, I like a lot of physical attention. So I think like massage, couples massages, spa retreat

Prostate massages Okay You said up that butt You know I think just doing things together In a very slow, soft and sensual way I think you missed this

I was giving a prostate massage I didn't know because there was only one finger Well there's for two people Oh oh you said Oh get in there I was confused because there was only one finger I thought she was like No I was trying to prostate massage

That's a very little prostate baby. And at Nicole's a prostate shop, you sit up there and I'm underneath and I'm going, but now I know I got to go. Okay, and we're playing Sarah McLaughlin in the background. In the arms of an angel. Get yours today. Okay, so a couple's massage. Yes.

I like that. I think that's fun. A sexy couples massage. Rose pedals everywhere. Soft music, lingerie. I think, yeah, very sensual, private, intimate things. Maybe a little nature out in the woods. I like this.

I think you should do this for your anniversary. I think you should rent a cute little cabin in the woods. Jay, don't watch this. No, or watch it and book it. No, yeah, just to watch because she's telling me what to do right now. No, no. Jay can watch and Jay can surprise, because you'll forget you that we've said this. Babe, you have a job to do.

You're not going to watch this back. So I'm too busy You're too busy You're fighting for your name You're touring You're doing on So Jay, okay Rent a cabin in the woods

Not too far from town We don't want it to be creepy And then book a masseuse A hot, big, strong masseuse Get that lingerie You know her sizes And then on your anniversary Have a candlelit dinner

With rose petals Your favorite meal What is it? Ham How did you know? You like ham? I don't. No, I, like, I love pork.

Wait, really? I just, you said that because I did you love pork. I just, I've been thinking about, hey, I'm recently. No. But, yeah, wouldn't that be a lovely anniversary? That would be delicious. Yeah, I like it. So, Jay, do it.

What's the worst date you've ever been on? Being left with a bill. Being left with a bill. Yes, rude, yes. I think you're going out to a lovely dinner with somebody, think that they're, like, showing you a good time. You're like, wow, I'm so impressed by you. Only to find out that they don't even have enough money in their account to complete what's happening tonight. And because they expected you to do it, they are now going to try and run off at the end of the dining experience.

Wait, you were on a date where someone like dine and dish, like left you? Absolutely. Absolutely horrible. I sat there, cried to them like, oh, why do you do this to me? But the time, I was not a doll. So it was just a little gay boy whining at the front door already lit. So they were just like absolutely... Already lit! Yeah, they were like, absolutely not.

You will be paying this. And I was like, okay. So I had like go back and pay it like a week later. Like they let me, they gave me a little time. Oh, see, that's nice. They didn't have to do dishes or anything crazy. But yeah, crazy. That is wild to just feel like, don't have it.

Got to go. Bye. He said, oh, you don't have it? I thought you did. Oh. Honestly, that's kind of iconic, two poor people being like the other one's got it. Two poor people. Let's go eat steak.

Let's go have a stick. Let's see. It's a fun game. Who's got the money? You want a bottle of wine? I do. Let's get everything on the menu. All the appetizers.

Two of each. Who's got the money? Lexi, I'm dying. That's so funny. Because it's wild that you went on the date with you didn't have the money. Oh, absolutely not. Absolutely not. The best thing that ever happened, we, when I was, like, living in a house with no running water electricity,

there was like four of us drag queens that all lived together and the head crone. that was like guiding us around the time. Her name's Bella Dolce. Make she rest in peace. She would take us all with backpacks to the Chinese buffet, and we would fill Ziploc freezer baggies from the Chinese buffet of food, and we would pile it in the fridge and eat on that for days on end. And we would have like a wet bag, a dry bag, a bread bag.

A wet bag, a dry bag! A bread bag, yes, girl. What's in the red bag? The bread. Oh, the bread bag. I thought you said the red bag. The red bag. I was like, am lettuce.

That's just sauces? That would be the bathroom bag, probably. Honestly, that is smart. No, it was iconic. Like, if you don't have the money, go to a buffet. I was like, we're going to get arrested. And she goes, they know we do this. Don't worry.

I mean, honestly, they make a lot of food. They probably waste a lot of food. Half of that food was expired before it went out for the buffet. I'm dying. That is incredible. So wait, you lived in a house with no running water? No rainwater, no electricity. And there was a total of five of us that lived in it.

Oh, yeah, three-story antique home. Yeah, that had absolutely nothing. We were all like gay, runaway, shut-ins, blah, blah, blah. Are you on good terms with your parents now or no? And we don't have to get a trip you don't want to. It's so interesting, you know, the way the things played out on the show because I really thought that, like, it would just be a completely different experience. And now we were just going to be, like, in trans bliss. But I think just reality sank back in from the reality of being reality star.

And my mom just kind of went back to her norm. And I can't blame her for that. That's just my mom. So hopefully in the future we'll have a better evolution of our relationship. But as right now, it kind of went back to where it was before we went on the trip. Well, I will reframe it in a way that, yeah, maybe you will get it. get to a place because there's ebbs and flows. Absolutely.

It's like acceptance, rejection, acceptance, it's not a fun road to be on. She's like a boomerang. She'll come around. Okay. All right. Yeah. Okay. Well.

Ma. My. Hey. Ma. Mama. You get it. You get it. I do get it.

And it's like, I mean, it's not the same. But, like, I've had family members who are like, you can't be an actor or like, or like, have something to say about me doing comedy this literally is not the same thing but I kind of get it no that's my entire family I think like all the way you go like through school and getting to this point I was like

I'm going to be in acting one day and they're all like he's creative he's so artistic and now they're like you're so creative and I'm like okay great I don't think anything to have a stank face about it I am creative you know I will say this

I think it's really awesome that you live so authentically, even though there's people in your life who say, I don't like it. I think it's really cool. I appreciate that a lot. I love it. It's fun. Not to make it.

It keeps life interesting. It's fun that you live your authentic truth. No, I just think it's really interesting when people are like, transness is a choice or being gay as a choice. And it's like, yeah, but like if you chose to not be trans or not be gay or whatever, it's like, then your family would accept you a little bit. Do you know what I mean?

Oh, absolutely. Life would just be easier. That's why it took me so long to transition. I waited until I was 30 years old to finally follow through with it because I was so scared. Because of where I live. Because of just how much it complicates all the relationships in your lives. My entire world was built around the support and or the approval of this extended conservative family. So I have spent a lot of time being obsessed over that.

Mm-hmm. But I like that you did it. Also, it's never too late to transition. Fuck, no, it's not. It's never too late to figure out what makes you happy. It's not. And I think the funny thing is, just like I do you already know, you're just hurting yourself, girl. You're just making yourself upset.

And at the end of the day, ain't nobody like getting a kick out of you not doing what makes you happy. You're the only one hurting. Yes. Speak on it, sister, preach Okay The Reverend Lexi Love MD What if you change your name to that? I mean

Workshopping, we're workshopping I mean, I kind of like it The Reverend Lexi Love MD DDS Oh, exactly Throw that right on the end Exactly, I went all the abbreviations What's one of the wildest states

you've ever been on. Ooh. So I was 19. I got, there was a man. A man brought me to L.A. Mm-hmm. You got flued out?

I got flued out. And I came and there was a young guy. And they used to have a show called a thing called Tiger Heat in L.A. That would go on like Thursdays and it was like a big gay party. And I went. I met this guy. He was 19. He was super young.

I was like, wow. I'm so. impressed by you, he had a sports car. The, oh, I said Sugar Daddy. I was like, oh, I was about to, okay, Sugar Day is fine. I didn't say his first name. Sugar Daddy said no. And so I got the number.

You know, I flew back home and that boy reached out to me. I came out and spent a couple days with him. He actually does the coolest thing I think I've ever done. He took me in his little sports car and the hills up here in L.A. And like how they twist and wind and you like see the city. out from him, but it was at night. So, like, the city's all lit up. He's flying around in his sports car. I felt like I was on the fest and the furious. I was wet. It was absolutely incredible. That was the coolest thing I've ever done. And I said, one day, I'm going to buy a sports

car, and I'm going to be with someone. And I'm going to whip it through there and make them feel like that. So that's, yeah, it was magical. It sounds like fun. Yeah, I felt like a bond girl. Did y'all fuck after? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, I've never been flued out. That sounds so fun. Well, of course it sounds fun, but there was like, there was, there's this trans girl on TikTok, the one that does, a daughter, 5, 6, 7 8, is she giving 5, 6, 7 8? As she just did a TikTok about one of her daughters that came to her and said, well, I got flew out to Paris, blah, blah, blah, the man expected X, Y, Z.

And she says, you've got a free trip to Paris. You didn't? What did you think they were going to be expecting? And I think that's like something that a lot of people forget still. You know, like there's, this is a trade. It's ass or grass, baby. And there's, you know, another such thing as a free lunch these days. There is.

If you're into fraud, you fly out to Paris and guess what? You don't get picked up. You get in an Uber and you go about your business. Get your own up. I actually We should just do that together Get flued out and then just go about our business Nicole and Lexi try to commit fraud

Okay that's Wow on Wow Presents Plus Fraudsters I really do want to commit fraud fraud busters Ooh because we're busting the myth Of can you create fraud Yes

Love it And then it's in like It's in the vein of like Oh it's just a TV show No, we're not actually committed in fraud. We'll give the money back. I'm not putting this money in my account in the Cayman Islands. No, no, no, no.

It's a fake account for the TV show. Because I've been watching The Sopranos and I'm like, man, like, it's fun. I just watched an episode where Tony Soprano had a bunch of money and he, like, took it out. And then there was a bunch of guns. And then Carmel was helping him. And then he took it to his mom's, like, nursing home and was stashing it there. I was like, oh, my God, no one's going to look. That's good crime.

That's a good crime She's like Yeah, no one's going to look She's an old lady Yeah It's a pretty good Idea Well, Lexi

We have come to the end Oh shit Do you have anything you want to promote? I would like to promote My tours Yeah Please please please Drag Queen Christmas tour

It's actually going on right now You can get tickets In a city near you We're in 38 cities throughout this entire tour. My birthday is tomorrow, November 22nd. So please please please me a happy birthday. Happy birthday.

Thank you. You're a Scorpio? I'm a sad Scorpio on the cusp. It is literally, you can flip, it's like flip fucking. You could just do either one. They're reverse. And if you're in Canada, you can see me on war on the catwalk. Ooh, Canada.

Hey. Here's a question. I almost forgot to ask. I ask all of my guests. I think I've missed it five times. God. Would you date me? Oh, fuck yeah.

Yes. Oh, my God. Please, we would have so much fun. They say date slash marry your best friend. So I would totally do it. Okay, here's why I would date you. You have a giraffe tattoo. That is literally my favorite.

That's going to be my next tattoo. I love giraffes. I went on safari in South Africa or no. In Zimbabwe? Amazing. I was in Africa. I was on the. continent of Africa. No longer in America.

No longer in America. And they have giraffes, like, just at the hotels. Oh, yeah. And I saw one. And I was like, stop. And the driver stopped, and I opened the van door and fell out of the van because I was like, a giraffe! I love them so much.

And they have such big eyelashes. It's so gorgeous. I know. They're so stunning. And they're so weird looking. I love them. You know when they sleep, they curl up like a dog. Gorgeous. I love that, and I love their black tongues. It's really a dark purple, so the sun doesn't burn it.

Purple's my absolute favorite color, so this makes me love them more. Also, they don't travel in packs. Did you know that? No. They're a very independent animal, and they choose to be in a pack, and then they choose to leave the pack. I could be lying. This is what somebody told me, but it could be a lie. No, I believe it.

I would believe anything you told me about dress. Hey, thanks. If you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me? You could like it. You could rate it. You can subscribe. Give me five stars on Apple Podcasts. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me to why won't you date me a podcast at

Gmail.com, I will read it out loud. Also, keep them a little short, please. So Mars doesn't have to edit them because I don't want a novel. I just want something nasty, quick, fast, and nasty. A little quickie. Okay. This person writes, Nicole, I'd lick the ranch off your chilies plate like it was holy water, then press my face into the sizzling fajita skillet, so I'm forever branded as

yours? Well, that's insane, because it's a Chili's fajita skillet, so you're going to be Chili's branded, whatever. They don't have to make sense. I want the grease running down my face as I beg the waiter for extra napkins I'll never use. I drag my whole body across that sticky chili's floor just to catch a single crumb of your Southwestern egg roll. And when I'm done, I'll tip 200%, not because I'm generous, but because they watched me. worship you like a feral raccoon in heat from Alex. Alex has written a lot. Hey, Alex. Thank you. Goodbye. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. That was a headgum podcast.

What's going on? It's Lamarne Morris. And Hannah Simone. And we host The Mess Around, a new girl rewatch podcast now on Headgum. Now here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl. And we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog. That's not true. We talk about so, many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodriguez. We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zoe Day Chanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayne's Jr. And your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well. Make sure you subscribe to the mess around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.