Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Gay Orgies (w/ Jay Jurden)

Episode Date: August 4, 2023

The hilarious comedian Jay Jurden joins Nicole to talk about his secret relationship with a frat boy, working at Abercrombie & Fitch during its peak era, the best app for threeways, and what goes on at a gay orgy. Plus, Nicole gets hit on by a 911 responder. Nicole wants to hear from you! Need some dating or relationship advice from Nicole and her guest? Submit your question to [e-mail] for a chance to have it answered on an upcoming special mailbag episode. Follow Nicole Byer: See Nicole on tour! Get tickets at linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerMerch: podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why? Oh, baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me, a podcast where me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I'm still single, but guess what? The detective work is not good. She can't figure it out. So I'm talking about love and shit with people I find interesting. Today, my guest is a hilarious comedian and writer who's performed all over your TV sets. We can't say which sets because there's a strike. He was recently acclaimed as

Vulture's comedian. You should know. And guess what? I agree with Vulture. I, my guest, I think is so funny. I'll like, just Google him, watch his sets. No, I can't say the show, but there's a late night show where I said, ha ha ha. I love it. Also he posts clips on his, on his Instagram that you can go to. I'm so happy that I have Jay Jordan. Oh my gosh. Yay. Thank you, Nicole.

Also, I love the fact that we get to dance around where we've been on TV now. I was on a thing one time that you can find very easily. Maybe it happened at the night. Just Google. Who knows? Maybe it was late at night on one of those shows that comes on when maybe you should be sleeping. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe the host has an ice cream flavor by Ben and Jerry's. We don't know. Maybe we just don't know these facts anymore. They're gone. Jay, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. Let's just get right up into it. I know that you're married?

No. Yes. Did I lie? No, you're correct. How did you get married? No, just kidding. How did you meet your husband? So I met him in the most traditional way possible

in a theater department at the University of Mississippi. Yes, yes, yes. So that's where all gay people meet. I love this. What? Oh, wait. I'll let you answer the question first. I'm just so excited.

I got all this information I want to ask you about. Okay, so you met at the theater department. Was it love at first sight? Tell me. So we met, and then he ended up being the assistant stage manager of a show I was in. And at one point, as cliche as it is, we were going over lines. Yes.

And, you know, maybe some flirting was going on. Maybe a kiss happened. Maybe I wasn't focusing on the lines as much. Okay. And so kind of started like a secret relationship then. Okay. Because I was still kind of like out there being a fun little college hoe. As we all have been.

As we all have been. Yes, as we all have been. And so then we decided to be a bit more public with our relationship. But then I was going away to grad school that year. And I was like, oh, it'll be like either like super chill or it'll be like long distance and we just kept staying together and so eventually when I moved to New York we moved in together it was my first live-in boyfriend we and we have been together for a very long time and like the living together in New York was a true test because we were in a studio in east harlem with a dog a studio two people and a dog

that truly will test the relationship yeah and so it tested us and then we got engaged and did the necessary millennial like almost like four year engagement where you're like yeah we said it we ain't gotta do it just yet what are you talking about i love so four years you stayed engaged and where did you get married we got married at the foundry in queens last year july 10th and it was a fun beautiful ceremony i only invited two comedians because we'd be talking too much. That's, I mean, good on you. It was really fun. My family came up to New York.

My family had been to New York, but it was the first time like both families were in New York at the same time. It was like a fun wedding where we both like had the financial like resources to do it and the time to do it. And I felt like we were both in a place where we were ready, not only to plan a wedding, but to get married. So I was very happy with it. I love that. Who proposed to whom? Well, when you're together that long, you end up doing it more than once. So he asked me first, and then you kind of like simmer on that and then i asked him and then

we went to a wedding in 2021 that made us be like we probably need to start planning so then there was like another rehashing of the conversation you have a joke that i really love where it's like when you invite a bunch of gay people to a wedding everyone seems to have known each other because they hooked up and then it's like you know ted it's i don't want to like ruin it but it's the joke it makes me laugh so hard oh my god i love that yeah god i i truly whenever your clips come on instagram i'm like oh let me buckle up this one's gonna be fun and you're just so happy and joyful like i i like the style of calm i like you know sarcasm i love a straight face i love deadpan but i really like when people are having fun oh my gosh that's one of my favorite things about you and so many other comedians don't necessarily know how to articulate that but when there's a sense of joy and whimsy to the comedy that you're presenting to a bunch

of people, I enjoy it a bit more. That's just me, though. But thank you. Yeah, I love some whimsy. I also really love when people are like, you're gonna like this. This is funny. I wrote it. It made me laugh. And I think you're gonna laugh. Okay, so you grew up in Jackson, Mississippi. Yes. Research. Yes, my assistant. Lindsay is honestly a dream.

Okay. Okay, so you've said that you've had to double code switch being Black and queer. Oh, yeah. So there is a thing that happens in spaces wherever, like, you realize which sort of identity is most marginalized where you kind of go for okay so let's make sure that like I'm presenting the part of me that I at least feel like I can like get away with presenting so the example I bring up is that since I grew up in Mississippi like my blackness was always like okay that's like it's Mississippi is the blackest state people don't know this it's

like 33 percent black that was never like an issue queerness for me I wasn't even out until college there weren't any gay men in my high school we had a lot of lesbians that's because we had a great basketball team and what happened is the truth lady mustangs and so it is funny that if you have a good basketball team the ladies can come out and everyone's like at least they win trophies they do whatever they want on the bus to the games but they're winning trophies so we're okay with it. Those girls smiles on their faces the whole time. And so like I wasn't out. So I was definitely code switching and appropriating straightness in a element where I go from being like one of like a bunch of black kids in my in my high school to not being one of a bunch of black kids in some of my college courses. So then there's a bit of a switch through a racial lens. I have to like deal with both of these elements, like kind of like while I'm still adjusting and experiencing how I want to present both of these parts of myself that I think I'm happy.

I'm definitely happy that I had the experience and I can talk about it now. But it was so surreal to be like, wait a minute. What? Oh, OK. Let me make sure that this part of me is presented. That makes sense. I used to code switch a lot at like auditions and when I would go to church when I was younger. Oh, yes. You have such a funny joke about it.

I sure do. But then I got older and was like, this is just how I speak. And that's it. Right. And I think there's a beauty because so many people don't know this. Whenever I talk about my blackness and my queerness and my southerness, they're all connected in such a way that even if I try to co-switch, it's impossible to, they're inextricably linked.

And my favorite example of that is a world is a word like sugar because sugar is black it's southern and it's queer it's it's like honey girl like all of this all of these things usually through language and sort of like a and sometimes like fashion but mostly language for me I noticed that that, oh, these three parts of me make me so much more powerful and honest than any one part of them reducing me or like alienating me. So I love it now.

Yeah, I love it too. And then there's some like blackness that just is ingrained in you that you can't ever really get rid of. Like during movies, I went and saw spider-man and boy oh boy was it a fun movie but at the end i don't want to like ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it at the end i was like well more more movie has to happen but like when it ended i went oh no i like couldn't help myself i was was like, I can't believe.

Let me tell you something. Because that same experience at my movie theater where I saw it too, at the Magic Johnson on 125th. Oh, I love the Magic Johnson. Magic Johnson 125th. A lot of people in the seats went, come on, what? Which is just like an inherently Black thing. don't i guess i got it from my mother or like i don't it's just like be out loud like what i don't uh-uh what um when i saw the tina

turner uh musical there's a lot of drama in it and like when tina gets slapped for the first time i literally couldn't help myself i was like and then all of the black people were like what the culture of call and response we can't i love it i love it and nicole this you know what's beautiful about that it's also because black people specifically black women it's not that they're trying to bring attention to themselves what happens is they go so is anyone else seeing this shit this shit needs to be handled and people always are like oh like what is that it's community it's someone being like yes why is this baby outside by himself what yes it's that baby's too big for that stroller. I find myself saying that all the time.

That baby needs a jacket. Yes. That baby's too big for that stroller. Ma'am. Ma'am. That baby can walk. That baby can walk.

Just let that baby walk. I had a show where there was this woman in the front row and I know I don't sound stereotypically Black. I know because people tell me. People love to to tell me they love to tell me that my comedy might not be for black people. I don't know. Here's the thing. I know a bunch of black women who work in call centers who sound exactly like you.

exists we're out here but where was i i think it was the irvine improv and there was this black woman in the front row who kept after every joke she would go and then she would repeat repeat one word from it go oh you stupid and i loved her i was like oh to be called stupid by an older black woman is i've won i've won it nicole and you know there's know, there's an analogous response from straight Black men whenever I know I told a good gay joke. When they go, whoa. Yes, yes, yes. I tell one cum joke and they're like, man. I'm like, yeah. We sucking dick in here, okay?

You paid a ticket for it, too. Yep, you guys sit here and deal with it I want to go back to your husband so while you were living in that studio apartment in East Harlem you guys got bed bugs oh my goodness oh my goodness

did that strengthen what did that do to the relationship it ruined us so we had bed bugs and the craziest part about it is that i was gaslit i saw one and he was like no i don't think you saw one because like we had crazy jobs at that point i'm a personal trainer i was waking up at five in the morning to go to david barton to train people he was working front desk at either I think at Barry's so we both had fitness jobs it was like our entry-level jobs in New York I'm doing if this is 2016 I'm doing mics when I'm not training people we're like all over the place

just surviving and kind of scraping in New York I see a bed bug one morning and I'm like is this a bed bug and he was like no no of course I was like oh okay and then that next week you like flip over a mattress and you're like oh so you guys have built a town this is I mean so then that mattress had to get like thrown out exterminators had to be called and but like I had to be in the park with my dog for four hours while all of this was going on. You know the thing that they don't tell you is that you can't be in there. But also, your dog can't be in there. So I'm dealing with that. And when I say, if that didn't break us, then I'm good.

Because bed bugs? Oh, my God. They're just such a nightmare we had bed bugs in my apartment in east harlem it was 126 between 5th and madison and my roommate she seemed to have them at our old apartment and then we didn't have them for a little bit but then my other roommate took this vanity from the street no no no no no no i don't know and i was like we are too old for this don't be taking street furniture we know better and then he got them bad my other roommate got them i was in the middle room as soon as he saw one i bought this this shit called Dymatitious Earth, which is a white powdery substance that allegedly they walk through and they're deshelled and they can't live or whatever.

But I was pig pen for like six months because it was in between my mattress and my box spring. So when I would get in bed, a huge white cloud would float. I lined my room around with it, put it in my closet. It was it was everywhere, but I didn't get them. Oh, my God. Well, congratulations, you didn't get them. But you know that scene from Hocus Pocus where they spin the salt around? That was me.

That was you? That was me. I was making a circle trying to keep the witches away. Oh, God, it was wild. It's so funny, too, that you were like, I don't care what these chemicals do to me. Sure don't. I was breathing it in. Breathing it in. Killing me slowly. Give me cancer. I do

I just don't want bedbugs. Nicole was doing key bumps of diametisous earth. I was just snorting rails of it. Keep them away. Keep them at bay. Oh my god. That's at bay. Oh, my God. That's very funny.

We're bedbug sisters. We are bedbug sisters, which is one of the worst sisters to be. And in Harlem. Yes. Do you still live in Harlem? Don't tell these people. Still in Harlem. Okay.

No, listen. I ain't scared. Still in Harlem. You might see me at the grocery store. Okay. During the strike, you're You might see me at the grocery store. Okay. During the strike, you're going to see me at Fine Fair. When I go back to work, you're going to see me at Whole Foods. But currently, we're at Fine Fair House.

I love Fine Fair. I love C-Town. I love a cheap grocery store. Nicole loves. I don't want Fairway. Get out of here. It's the same shit. It just goes bad a little faster.

You got to eat them apples faster. same shit it's just it just goes bad a little faster you gotta eat them apples faster so okay your last year of high school you worked at abercrombie which is i think a compliment to your attractiveness because i have read so many things that they just they don't hire ugly people they're like only the creme de la creme. Okay, so I'll put out, this is pre Abercrombie Renaissance 2022, 2023, they're having a renaissance. They're expanding, they're like the male

Aritzias, what some people are saying. Like, they're doing a lot of different stuff. Back, OG Abercrombie, we're talking 06, we're talking 07. You, I mean, this, Tyra Banks wasn't as mean to the contestants on her show as the regional and district managers of Abercrombie were. First of all, I go to North Park Mall in Ridgeland, which is right outside Jackson. I get the job.

And they're like, oh, you're going to be kind of on a trial basis as a brand rep because brand reps get to be in the front of the store. Impact team has to be in the back. So people don't know. There's a cast. It was a cast system. And if you're impact, you're just taking off sensors, opening up boxes of clothes, folding them and then putting them out on the floor at night as not to be seen because you're an untouchable. At night? Oh, my God.

So if you're a brand rep, you get to be in the front of the store. I worked at Abercrombie and Abercrombie & Fritz. So lowercase little Abercrombie. This is the wildest one because you have to sell kids clothing that their parents are not happy that they're wearing. So me, a 17-year-old, has to sell booty shorts to an 11-year-old by making her dad buy these booty shorts. It was wild. That's a mindfuck. That's weird. It's like, you look great in those booty shorts it was uh-huh it was why that's a mind fuck that's weird it's like you look great in those booty shorts little girl it's like what am i saying out loud exactly because

you'll be like um these are our new these are the kinsey shorts like because they would always name they would always name the clothes name them after little white girls after the target demo the mckayla the mckayla tank exactly and here's another thing nicole a lot of camisoles they loved a camisole with lace for a group of girls that do not have titties yet what do we do i that is so wild to me to be like, get in the back. You're nasty looking. Oh no. And if they came out during, if they came out, like while people were in the store,

they'd be like, okay, well go ahead. Go, go take your break. Don't be on the floor. Figure out what you're going to do. I had like, I had so many mixed feelings. Cause I loved, I like, I had fun with the impact people. And some of the brand reps were so dumb. They would hire, when I say the dumbest people in the world, I mean some of the stupidest people possible.

And that's just because they wanted some shirtless people in the front. There was this one guy, I remember his name was Justin. I promise if this boy is not dead, then he is touched. God's hand is up on him. And I don't mean dead from drug use. Just stupid. Just dumb. Just an idiot.

Just an idiot. Like fall down a manhole kind of dummy. So he was one of the people. Oh, there was this one girl named Leah. I loved her so much because we were like the two. I hate saying this. We were like the two sexy black people on the floor. And also, that was wild, too.

At one time, they had like. They didn't really hire black people, right? And that's the crazy part because this mall was like. it was like a, it was a fairly suburban mall. But because it was a nice mall before they built the newer nice mall, like everyone went there. So like they would have like two black brand reps on the floor. And me and her name was Leah. I won't say her last name. She would, we would like make out and stuff.

This was like a little, we would like make out and stuff this is like a little we were like have a look one time one time we were like making out and then the manager caught us and he gave me a look that to this day i remember because i know he was like what is this faggot doing making out at work with this little girl. He was like, well, you can't be in trouble. I guess you're exploring your sexuality here in Abercrombie? In Abercrombie? You've decided it.

When you took the job, you checked it off. But you are bisexual, right? I am bisexual. Abercrombie's also where I had my first male crush that I'm able to articulate it was a crush it was this guy who was on color guard so he was a flag twirling sissy and but his name was shane and he would like do this weird thing where he would like be like a kind of mean

gay because at that point in 20 in 2007 and know this, the gays had to be mean because it wasn't but like four of them. You just had to be mean. That was it. Yeah, just be mean. Be mean before they could be mean to you. Exactly. And so I remember being like,

man, Shane's like handsome and funny. And like he works at Abercrombie. I work at Abercrombie. And I had this like existential crisis in my car. And one time I was like, wait a minute. I like Shane. Am I trying to do I like this man?

He's a man. That's gross. I can't be having a crush on a man. I got to go work at Abercrombie like a straight boy intends to do. That is like a fun awakening. When did you. So your first reaction was ew when did you go huh i think that's okay um probably in college but uh as far as like with shane i there would always be a fun kind of like word tennis like sparring match where he would be

mean to me and i'd be like listen i don't care if you're mean to me i'm gonna make you be nice to me but it was never like i'm gonna date you it was like yeah no like i don't you can be mean to me gay boy because i can take it like we should let's go let's go on lunch breaks together oh let's like walk around the mall a little bit oh let's go see what stupid stuff they're putting out at wet seal like that you know like that's the kind of stuff we would go to hollister and mess with shit because like we go to hollister first of all hollister at this point in time hollister was kicking our ass some days because Hollister was dark. So people would want to go in Hollister because it was almost like pitch black and just like watch that live feed of like Huntington Beach or whatever. And so we would go in Hollister and just fuck their shit up.

We would just knock over piles of clothes and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. It was the Sharks versus the Jets. But Hollister and Abercrombie are owned by the same company. But yeah, there was a rumble. That's so funny. Also, Abercrombie is not the only time

you were caught hooking up with somebody. You were caught by a police officer. Wait, where is this? This is a fun story. You were caught by a police officer while hooking up with a girl in a car. Wait, first is this? This is a fun story. You were caught by a police officer while hooking up with a girl in a car. Wait, first we have to take a break. Oh!

Ooh, we're back. Tell me about this. Hooking up with a girl and an officer saying, sir, you're bad. Nicole, have you ever been caught by a police officer hooking up in a steamy car in a public park? Sure haven't.

Oh, okay. Never ever. I thought we were about to be Mitsubishi Galant sisters too. Oh my God, Mitsubishi Galant. Yeah, I was riding. I was doing it big. Oh, you better believe you got a full-size sedan. I was doing it big back in high school.

So my girlfriend and I at the time, we couldn't hook up in my house. My mom is a Christian woman. We couldn't hook up at her house because like we could, but it was like, you know, like just hooking up in your house as a high schooler is truly the most impossible task. Maybe parents now are cool and sex positive. And you know what?

Fuck y'all for having fun parents. We didn't. I didn't. My mother was, like, door open at all times. Yes. She would honestly be like, you can't even go up to your room. You got to stay at the kitchen table. And I'd be like, okay.

My girlfriend before this one, the only thing we could do is watch TV on the couch in the living room. And her mom would come in periodically. And guess what, Nicole? I still managed to dry hump to completion sometimes. Because that's how horny I was in high school. So we were hooking up in the backseat of this car in a part that I thought was like, oh, I know what's going to know. And the police officer like tapped on the door.

And he was a chill police officer because all he said was he was like, y'all know y'all can't do that here. And we were like, OK, we're going to go to the sonic drive-thru and like well we can't hook up there at least we get to still stay in the car and make out so that's what we did but yeah i'm still alive shout out to that police officer i hate to say it this way but one of the good ones one of the good ones he's one of the good apples also you had a secret relationship with a frat guy in college. This is, y'all, wow. Wow. Jay Jordan, this is your life.

I did. So I had a secret relationship with a guy who was in a frat. And it was the first time I felt like a real housewife of Oxford, Mississippi. Because, and my tagline would have been, the South might not rise again, but my bank account balance sure will. Like that's what I would have said. Yes, yes.

So he was, he was like well off. He had like a townhouse and he had like, the fun thing about it, he this big suv he would drive and so when we secretly were hooking up if i ever spent the night but i had to go like to a theater class the next morning he would like drop me off there was this like kind of like loop around it wasn't a parking lot but you could like pull into it and get dropped off and so one time people were there and they saw me get dropped off and like that's what i felt so cunt in that moment i felt like such a motherfucking diva getting dropped off in this

big black suv going up to take this and i know people saw me and now people like jay who dropped you off and i was such a girl about the response i I was like, ooh, I was such a mean girl. I was like, don't worry about it. Why don't you get somebody to drop you off? Why are you in, why are you in my business, by the way? I love that the secret relationship

consisted of going to, like, a townhouse, getting dropped off in an SUV. Right. With me at, like, 18, 19, 20, I would be like, this is the lap of fucking luxury. With me at like 18, 19, 20, I would be like, this is the lap of fucking luxury.

Let me tell you, Nicole, I was Olivia Pope. Do you understand? I was Olivia Pope. Just tying your trench coat being like, stay out of my business. I've got things to handle. Big glasses, big scarf.

Holler up. I love it. How long did this secret relationship last? Oh, my goodness. It lasted the same length most college relationships, a semester, because it was spring. And then we went into summer. And then he went to Austin. And we had like a big argument over Facebook Messenger. And then he came back.

And we definitely ended up hooking up a couple more times. He broke into my house. What? What do you mean he broke up into your house? He broke into my house one time while he was very fucked up on pills. And the police had to be called. Oh no. Yeah, it was, I mean. Was it the same

cop who was like, oh, see, you're getting it from everybody. Okay. Listen, Nicole listen when we when we write this when the strike is over that is what happens though it is the same police officer damn boy get it oh yes i ain't mad at you that's okay so no it was just like one of those situations where like drugs were definitely involved. But also like once again, you talk about someone with that kind of access to money that young. They probably also haven't heard no a lot.

So then they probably think they can break into people's houses. But yeah, that was my first like kind of torrid secret relationship was, like, I remember one time, and this is so funny. We, like, went out to the square and we drank a little bit. And then I remember he was like, oh, I don't want people to know that we're, like, doing, like, that we're, like, together. That we're together, yeah. Because it was, like, it was enough of a public place that like, it would have been like, wait a second,

what's going on. But then in my head, I was like, but we're drinking wine as college students who are boys. So we already doing some pretty gay shit in front of folks. Like, do you see, it's like,

it's like Jack and Coke, Jack and Coke, Bud Light, Natty Light, Keystone Light. Like we, shit in front of folks like do you see it's like it's like jack and coke jack and coke bud light natty light keystone light like we chose we chose gay drinks we should have planned better that's so funny um do you think most of your dating has been well you've been with your husband for 11 years, right? Yeah. So we had 11 years. Then we had long distance for three.

And then we also had like, we also had like just a very candid conversations about what relationship, what a relationship deal breakers. Like for the longest time I knew, even like within our first three years, if you want, if you want to kiss somebody, you better kiss that person. That ain't about the, that ain't, you kissing somebody? If you want to give, I mean, we can get into, if you want to give a handjob to somebody, give that handjob. What, what does that have to do with us getting along? And for me, one of the big realizations is that your relationship and your rules, those are just that. That's your relationship and those are your rules, those are just that. That's your relationship, and those are your rules, and that is your person. So whenever people start to kind of like go, oh, how do you make 11 years work?

It was because we had a very, very honest and very candid take, and because we were away from each other for three years. So are you guys technically open? What's the queer way to technically open? We're, what's the, what's the queer way to say this? We're adults. You know,

because now there's that weird thing where everyone, everyone sadly is like, oh, I think that I need to be in a polyamorous relationship. And what it actually means is that man wants seven women to do different things for him. And you're like, no, I don't know. That's a cult. What you've done is kidnapped women. I don't like what you're describing. Or it's like a means to the end of a relationship with the person you're currently with to open it up to like find someone so you don't have to be alone yeah yeah and and they'll never be like oh well

that person also has their fun it's always that weird kind of like kept like super closed off relationship for one party and very open for the other party. And like, they'll never, you'll never hear about them having like a four way with like another fun couple. So like, that's the kind of stuff that I dislike. That's been getting very popular, but yeah, me and my husband,

which I, I mean, it's funny. Cause I told a fun threesome joke on, in that set on this. It's funny because I love this about about him whenever he found out i was doing that particular joke on that platform he was very happy but he also was like oh wow my parents my my dad and my stepmom were gonna see that and i was like can i say something they ain't gonna care

they ain't gonna care there's a you can tell me if you disagree. I think once you break the seal on the gay shit, all the other shit, people don't care. People don't care. I think it's like once it's like, oh, I do X, Y, and Z, it's like, oh, okay. Yeah. Like I had a friend who started dating women and at first I was like, oh, this is new. Not that it was weird. It was just like, oh, this is new.

And now I'm just like, when she's with her girlfriend, I'm like, oh, whatever is new. Not that it was weird. It was just like, oh, this is new. And now I'm just like, when she's with her girlfriend, I'm like, oh, whatever. Okay. It's just the same thing as someone's like, oh, please call me they, them. At first it's hard. But then you just, you remember in your brain, you say this person is non-binary

and I'm going to respect their pronouns. It's just, you just get accustomed to it. Like, I don't know. Someone's like, I took a big old dick for the first time. You're like, ooh, congratulations. Tell me about all the dicks you'd be taking now. And guess what, Nicole? That was the same police officer.

I was like, good for you, Officer Jones. Oh, my goodness. I took a dick for the first time. I found you to tell you, Jay. Nicole, I desperately now want there to be a situation where an old black man finds out i'm queer he goes oh let me tell you about the first dick i took wait a second what mr randy i think that's really funny and i don't think older queer people have had any sort of real representation other than being like oracles or like magical

negros. Like I would love to see just like an older gay man who's still in like leather and bondage. Who's like, Oh, I still get fucking freaky. You go to fire Island. You go to Palm Springs.

You'll see him. Yes. Let me find one. I want someone to write something for one of them or like like an old, grizzled lesbian who's just like, I love a titty and a clit. That's what I want to say. Well, because, I mean, specifically with queer men, you know, the HIV AIDS epidemic did rob a lot of them

from being able to live to be mean, old queens. So now we are having an opportunity. We're seeing some of these gen xers some of these like super young baby boomers and they're like i'm still here and that's what i love i mean and may he rest in peace i think that's why also people loved leslie jordan so much they're like hell yeah my god i loved leslie jordan i once i had a show called loosely exactly nicole that exactly four people watched no i tried to get him for an episode and my casting director laughed in my face and was like we can't afford leslie jordan and in that moment i was like good for leslie

not being affordable i watched it i was i was watching it on facebook i watched it well thank you very few people and i'll tell you the residuals are teeny tiny i got a residual uh maybe a month ago i posted it for a cent. A cent. I, the, every part about getting that to me cost more than a cent. Yes. You could call me. And then they show you. Yeah, just call me and be like,

do you want this? And you go, no. Jay, you left a penny here. I also got a residual for a cent and it was two pages of where it was shown and I was like wait so there was two page I don't like I don't understand the views or whatever this is the only job we were like I don't understand the hours clocked in the payment but it was two full pages and then the check was for one cent and I was like the fuck like thank god i tore like thank god i do other stuff that's

not necessarily acting because all hosting is non-union uh i wish it was union because we're paying to my health insurance but whatever and congratulations on your emmy nom are we allowed to say that i think so but i don't think i can i don. You know. We won't say for what, but somehow. We won't say for what. She is Emmy nominated for a show. It's delightful. Now, Nicole, explain what TV shows are to people. Oh, so a television show is between 30 minutes and an hour to an hour and a half because time doesn't matter anymore with streaming. And you used to be able to make it to 100 episodes, get into syndication,

and honestly never have a job again because you made that network tons of money via commercials. Streaming came through, took away those commercials, and they only depend on subscribers. Subscribers who can have a whole family of four watch things and nothing is supplemented via commercials so then they say we're not going to tell you how many people have watched it even though that's what we've been doing from the beginning and then they can pay you whatever

the fuck they want you cannot negotiate a good deal because the difference of five or five million people watching something and 20 million people watching something is a different rate. Yes. And they just don't tell you. Wow. It sounds like somebody should do something about that. I think so. Maybe they should go on strike. Because also the whole AI situation is interesting. Because people just think about the actors being out of work because they have AI.

But what about the hair people who do those background people? What about the lighting people who light those people? What about the teamsters who bring the trucks to have sets for those people? The caterers who feed those people? I was like, this is not, this is not I'm like, but I'm telling you, if you're listening right now, it is not about rich people trying to get richer. it is about the industry surviving for people to be able to make a living like there is no middle class in in this industry anymore and that's sick yeah i mean and if you don't care about this get on tiktok and start eating ice cream yum yum so good because that's your future that's your that's the future we're all gonna have to do is yeah nicole did you log in for your hour of tiktok daily i did i did my non-playable character yum yum yum yum clap clap clap clap have you watched those videos they're wild the

craziest part is that okay some people are insanely and immensely talented at getting it fast but there is such a steep learning curve because Because if it was me, I'd be like, okay, all right. Hands up. David, thank you for the lollipop. Jay, we have to take another break. We're back, Jay. Yes. Okay.

So you went to the University of Alabama. You have an MFA in acting. And for one of your final projects, you did a 15-minute stand-up set. That's wild. Whoa. That your first set was 15 fucking minutes. Well, here's the thing. It was a piece from a one-man show that was supposed to be turned into a longer project that had both elements of comedy and tragedy.

Because I was also trying to figure out a place to talk about my queerness, my dad's death when I was 15, and being Black in Mississippi and Alabama. But because my natural inclination is to make things funny, it just, it was peppered with jokes. And I've been watching standup and studying standup, I mean, probably since I was 10. I remember like standing in front of my TV and watching Comic View, watching Last Comic Standing and watching everything on Comedy Central. I mean, everything from Insomniac to Premium Blend to like Gaffigan Special with the cornfield. I mean, I watched Wanda's special back when she was straight. I was watching the old stuff.

You know what I'm saying? People don't, the people who know, know. And so I've always loved stand up. I've always loved stand up. I've always loved theater and I've always viewed stand up as like a fun part of the theatrical experience. And when people don't respect it as part of that, then I kind of like take umbrage because I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. It's it's theater. What you're doing is limiting both stand up and theater by not allowing it to be incorporated and appreciated as such. is limiting both stand-up and theater by not allowing it to be incorporated and appreciated as such. And so I did that 15-minute chunk of a one-person show that was supposed to be 30 minutes and then eventually turned into an hour. And then the note was like, it's very funny. It seems to be

more of a stand-up set than a one-person show. And what I heard was, so it's good. So it's good? This is a good note. funny and then I yeah and then I moved to New York I had a theatrical agent my theatrical agent didn't want to come see me do stand-up I was gonna stand up at Bottoms Up uh yeah at Vodka Soda Bottoms Up in Hell's Kitchen my friend Phillip had a show that like it was one of the places where it was a queer show in a in a gay bar that I was so happy to do and I told my I told one of the places where it was a queer show in a gay bar that I was so happy to do. And I told one of the people who worked at my agency at the time, I was like, I'm pretty, I like it. And, like, people were saying I'm pretty good.

So, like, if you want to just come through, like, just watch me do 10 minutes on my French show. And they're like, yeah, we don't really want to. I was like, okay. Wow. I'm no longer with them. I mean, I have the same experience. My old manager, I begged him to listen to this podcast when I first started it because I was like, I think I'm on to something. I think people like it.

I'm getting such positive feedback. And he was like, I don't know. Do more college dates. Do more stand-up. And I was like, okay, but I do think this is like a way to like maybe explore topics, maybe generate jokes or like also just like another way to like entertain people. And he just like wouldn't get on board. I have since left him. And my current manager listens to every episode.

And one of the jokes in my special where it's like i just want to be in a relationship so i could fight in public is because i said it on this podcast and he was like i've never heard that before that's the weirdest shit i've ever fucking heard and then i just started like sitting on that joke and then it like came to me and i wrote it but i was like had he never had he didn't listen, I may not have written that joke. So, I mean, you got to get people who fucking support you. Yes. But also shout out to you for being able to know that. Like, it's such a I think it's so cool whenever people who are in our industry go, no, I like this. And I feel passionate about this particular part of this.

A case in point is like, I'll go on like so many different X-Men podcasts because I love the X-Men so much. Who's your favorite? Well, okay. Now, here's the crazy part. My favorites. I'm never just going to have one. My favorites, of course, Storm, but also Iceman. And Iceman, back in the day, before I even Storm, but also Iceman.

And Iceman, back in the day, before I even knew, and then he came out in 2015, I was like, I knew it! But also big Nightcrawler fan. Big, if we get into characters people know a little bit less. I'm a really big fan of like the academy x kids so there's this kid there's this student i guess named hellion who was like really love emma frost uh who is just like emma frost just a bad bitch a bad bitch and when i say bad i mean she did break up a marriage in 2001 by having a psychic affair with a man. I'm not deep in the comics. I watched the cartoon as a kid, and then I thought the movies,

the first one was good. The second one was okay. The third one, I was like, what are we doing? Why is Jean Grey, why is she going to pass away? And then the reboot, I thought the first one was really great. The second one was okay. The third one, I was like, you set up Magneto and Professor X to be, to have this tumultuous friendship that you don't play on. This is, you're making some very good points.

Points that filmmakers and comic book fans have made. I will also say this. So I was like always passionate about X-Men stuff. Like it's always just been something that like, it yields nothing for me comedically on stage. But guess what? Because I went on so many X-Men podcasts because I like we'll talk about them because it's like a passion of mine. Guess what? In August 16th, I have a six page story in X-Men Voices, an anthology that comes out from Marvel, and Marvel approached me. So, like, when you're passionate about something,

like your podcast. You follow it. Follow it. Do it. Jay, congratulations. Thank you. I have been lobbying quietly on my podcast. I've said it occasionally.

I just want to be Storm's fat friend in the standalone Storm movie. I will learn an African accent, or I could be her friend when she gets to New York. You don't have to. She can. She'll come to New York. Her parents. Nicole, you'll love this.

One of her parents is from Harlem. So Storm has Harlem roots. So you can just be you can be a Roro's cousin. Then when she when she finally. Right. There's so many ways. That's all I want. Also, Storm is funny and silly.

And that would actually be, Storm having a fun Black friend is something that people always want. Because there has to be a moment when Storm is in the comic book sometimes where she looks around, and it's happened a little bit more recently, where she goes,

these white people are getting on my nerves. These white people are getting on my nerves. These white people are getting on my nerves. Okay, Jay, here's what's happening. I'm going to get your contact information and we're going to write a fucking storm movie.

Oh, listen, we're going to write a storm movie when the WGA has a fair deal. Oh, yes, yes, yes. We have to wait until we get our deals in place

because we can't be working for the studios right now because it's bad uh did you see bob eiger okay i'll just talk about that man just in a big old field where he arrived in a private jet saying people are being unreasonable and i was like i know you've been rich your whole life or for a very long time but like saying that we were at we're not asking for a it's not fair i was i think i read somewhere i was like if every head ceo or whatever took a two percent cut it would just be solved it would also show us show us what people are watching. The Nielsen rating scale, that was around. We knew how many people watched it.

Tell us. I think it's like people would be surprised how little things are being watched or things that are being canceled, how much people are watching but aren't bringing in new subscribers so it gets canceled because it's too expensive because it's not offsetting the subscribership. It's truly insane. I mean, it's also like the ins subscribership it's truly insane i mean it's also like the insidiousness of deals that say oh season two no matter what you get a pay bump oh

is this season two no this is season one part b wait what yes wait no this is definitely first season into what this is definitely season two no no also season three you'll definitely get a pay bump okay so we made it to we made it we made six seasons that technically count as three seasons pay bump we're gonna cancel the show but yeah goodbye but you said you said we can renegotiate after three it is this is the renegotiation wild and you're in a very wild time i mean i know what and sometimes this is based inside baseball this This is like shop talk. But like you're in a very particular place because, you know, both the network side of things and the streaming side of things.

And so many people now don't even register that because so much is just streaming. They associate it with network. So they don't even know that the residuals are different. They don't know. People truly don't know. But that said like i am doing okay but like i truly talk about it for the people under me yeah there is no route to make money there's like fran drescher i think someone finally explained her she's the president of sag i think someone finally explained to her the money you have is unattainable yeah there is no more syndication there is no more residuals you you have to work

like i don't know a hundred times as hard to make that money i mean jay we could talk about this all day yeah i will swing back to dating um so technically you're like open-ish. Do you like approach people in person? Like I don't know how to do that. Ooh. Well, I think that the most, this is so wild. What's your, do you have an app or do you, because. I'm on all the apps, but I lately. Well, the most successful app is always going to be Instagram.

But the most successful app is always going to be Instagram. It's just it's the app that like you can actually be like, hey, this is a person that like I know everything about. Like there's a realness is maybe not for you anymore at the level of fame that you've achieved, Nicole. But because what is Instagram except for Raya without the fees? I mean, I guess nobody ever really reaches out on Instagram. Sometimes every now and again when I say on the podcast, I'd like to see a dick pic. I'll get a nasty little dick pic. What's the what's the craziest one? One man sent me his penis next to a broom.

But I was like, brooms are very skinny so of course yours looks bigger I'm not sure what I'm this is to skate like I don't know the craziest thing I've seen lately is there was a party there was a day party

in New York two weekends ago and there was a big dick contest at the party and what they would do is the contestants had to go into the bathroom in New York two weekends ago and there was a big dick contest at the party. And what they would do is the contestants had to go into the bathroom. If they needed help, I guess a bunch of people offered. Uh-huh. Get a chief's size.

To fluff them. Yeah. Some fluffers. Which is, that's not union work. So y'all can do that now if you want to. So then they would take a picture and then the judges would take a picture but to me that's so much work because i'm i need to see it in real life yes in real life with none of the fluffins just show me that dick in its natural habitat. No. And so I saw all of the, because the Polaroids were then posted.

You know, sometimes people be sending me stuff. I saw the Polaroids. And there was one fella in that group. I was like, my God. What? What? What? First of all, tax dependent.

That was dependent at that point secondly my god like if that he was just walking around so he heard about this you you know like when uncle phil hustled those guys in pool on fresh print yes that was him he was like oh i don't know i don't know if i'm gonna win i don't know i might be smaller than others the'm going to win. I don't know. I don't know. I might be smaller than others. The minute he got the chance, he was like, Jeffrey, break out Lucille. I love that. If you're hot in real life and I've approached you, you know why. I like hitting on people in real life.

Queer men do have the luxury of our spaces being inherently sexualized already. And to the point past straight people. Like, Nicole, if like in public for straight couples or straight people, it's like a lower back touch. Oh, my goodness. What are we doing? Lower back. I have literally seen my friends go, I'm going to go in that bathroom and suck that man's dick.

I'll be back in a little bit. Because we just don't. We don't have no cooth. You're just out here in these streets just doing things. No cooth. We went to the Eagle. Okay, this is so funny. I do like the Eagle.

After one of my friend's weddings, we went to the Eagle. I love that. You're like, this after party won't do. I got to suck a dick. And me and my husband made out with one of my friends, who was one of the grooms, one of their friends. And this guy, he was one of those people that you kiss him, and then he starts talking nonsense you're like

i'm gonna have to keep kissing you to shut you up you are not i don't need you talking this much baby uh-huh i've definitely been on dates with people where i'm like you have to shut up do i fuck you and you shut up i just okay we're gonna do. I was hit on this morning and I didn't know how to handle it. So there was this man in a van and I was walking my dog. I'm a little scared. I know, a man in a van, but there was a badge on the van. It was a white van with a badge. I don't remember what the badge was, but he was like, hey.

And I was like, hello. And he was like, how are you today? And I was like, oh, I'm good. And he's like, I like your shirt. My shirt has like a little monster on it. And he was like, uh what are you doing and I was like oh just like walking my dog and he was like really nice to meet you and I was like okay where is this going and then he then he finally goes have you seen a man screaming around here and I was like no and he's like I'm part of a no and he's like i'm part of a uh like risk like a responder thing like you call 9-1-1 and it's a non-violent response team and i was like oh that's really great and he's like oh you think that's

really great and i was like yeah for the community and he's like i have a dog too and i was like okay then my dog started peeing and i that was awkward and then he was like yeah just you know if you need us to come out just call 9-1-1 and i was like okay and then he was like, yeah, just, you know, if you need us to come out, just call 911. And I was like, okay. And then he like wouldn't let me go and was like looking me up and down. And I was like, this is the oddest way I've ever been hit on. And then I was like, is this screaming man going to come out of the park? And then I'm going to have to watch this man deal with that.

And then he's like, call me later as I deal with this. And then he just watched me walk away. And the reason I know that is because I turned around to pick up dog shit. And he was definitely staring at my ass. And I was like, I don't, this is not my meet cute. I don't want this for me. No, I love it. Nicole, you should have said, have you?

I think there's a black woman that's screaming. Where? In about 45 minutes at my place. He was kind of cute, but it was just the way I was being approached. I felt like it could have just been a little smoother. A little bit. I've had people, you know know sometimes the approach really could have changed the trajectory one time on the subway late at night you know like when it's a lot of

people late at night at the subway because they're not a lot of trains i had a guy and he like held up his phone and just pointed at it and i was like man you at least come over here what what he's just like this you want to give me a number can i call you that's very funny i do feel like i i wish i was a gay man sometimes i feel like it's just a little easier listen um tons of people have described it as bowling with the bumpers up and they ain't wrong they are not i want the bumpers for me well i think it's because much to the detriment of other components of the way we interact with our peers queer men definitely feel sexually free enough in a way that other demographics don't queer men specifically can be like this is an app for fucking okay no one else no one else

has an app like grinder like sniffies like Scruff. I do love Sniffies. It's very funny. Sniffies is so hilarious. Mateo was talking about it on a podcast a couple of days ago and people were like, a couple of weeks ago, and people were like, for real? Because he didn't say Sniffies. And every gay man in the comments is like, he knows it's Sniffies. Sniffies. He's lying.

It's Sniffies. He's pretending like he doesn't know. Oh, there are listeners who probably don't know about Sniffies. It's super location-based. It's like not even, hey, you're nice. We should meet. You're close. It's like, I'm going to be in the Macy's bathroom.

I mean, there is. I love that it's location-based and it's fast and it's quick. The straights and the queers, the queer people who are in, like, heterosexual relationships, who are bi-curious and fluid and pansexual. She's covering all the bases. Look at her. You know, all of them. There's this app called, uh, oh, shit. What is it called?

It's a fetish app. Field. And I got on Field. Yes, I got on Field. And everyone seemed to know who I was, which seemed truly implausible. And then people would tell friends of mine that they saw me on Field. And then that friend would tell me. And I was like, I don't want this.

I've never wanted this. Let's just be cool cool mixed success with field field is where you go if you really want to have a threesome or four way in my opinion it can definitely lead to one-on-one stuff but because you can be a you can be a couple on there yes which is like people would be on tinder as couples but only one person could be on there. But Field lets you be like, well, what's the husband look like? Let's not. Okay.

Don't surprise me. Okay. Oh, he's cute. Okay. Wait a minute. Okay. I guess I can do this. Okay.

That guy has clean underwear. Let's go. Field is also funny because field hosts like social events and like yes it's it's it's funny because when a gay app hosts an event that's just an orgy if field hosts an event they're like oh no it's nice it's it's a nice event it's nice. It's a nice event. It's nice. We're in a nice rooftop terrace. I love that a gay app hosts an event. It's just an orgy. No, yes. They'd just be like, we put the tarp down.

There's some hand sanitizer over there. I don't know. My friend runs, I guess, yeah, they're orgies or it's like a sex party. I think he'd be okay with me saying that. Maybe we cut out his name or I'll text him. I don't know. But I was like, let me work it. I just want to be near sex.

I was like, can I just be coat check? I'll just like take people's clothes. And he was like, no, Nicole, it's no women. And I was like, but please, I just want to be near sex. I'm so horny. I'm so horny. I'm so horny. It's been a while. Well, they have, they definitely have a very, I'll say this.

They have like that weird rule where like it's strictly for people there who want to have sex. But the coat check shouldn't be affected because the coat check is before the sex area in most of those situations. That's what I think. He was like, I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable. And I was like, but I have a smiling face and I'll be happy to be there. I think they truly would just be like,

Nicole Byer, girl, I'm about to go get fucked. What you doing here? And I'll be like, and when you check out, tell'm about to go get fucked. What you doing here? And I'll be like, and when you check out, tell me all about it. I'm so horny. Thank you. Jay, we have come to the end. Do you have any advice for me, a single woman, and any other single people out there? Kiss lots of strangers.

That's my favorite thing to tell people is kiss lots of strangers. Tell people what you like about them. And I don't know, like flirt a little bit more. The interaction you had today. I love that. I mean, it didn't turn into anything. That's because you had some dog poop to pick up. But I love more public flirting.

Like queer men, we're monopolizing it too much we need more public flirting from everyone of every sexual preference i want more flirty sexy fun well what are you thinking about energy out there in the world i like that well because everything now has become so kind of like it's not that it's sex negative it's that people like well no what i have to do is say hey do you want to go on a date then we have to go on a date then i have to kiss no you saw them in the grocery store kiss them on the cheek in the grocery store be like what's going on what like like make this a little bit less formulaic. And that's what I would want to see from people.

Jay, I like that. I mean, my therapist literally was just like, have more fun. Flirt. Don't believe that everything has an end-all, be-all. Like, you can just leave things. And I guess I could have flirted back with that man today. But I was running late for my training session with my personal trainer. And you had dog poop and pee.

And that man, he was literally at work. That man was at work looking for a man screaming, which is a wild time to flirt where you're like, this is kind of an emergency. And you are just like chit-chatting me. You should go find that man hey um yeah there's like a guy who's like dangerous and armed or whatever and i was i was sent here to make sure that it happens i'm not i'm not i'm not police i'm like non-police intervention services but um like where do you get into, that's what it felt like. I was like, this is a lot of information to be hitting on me. Jay, okay, I ask most of my guests this. I've only missed it maybe eight times.

Would you date me? Oh, yes, Nicole. We will have the best dates. No bed bugs. No bed bugs. Uh-uh. No, I can't. I'm so jealous of your photo shoots, too, with Mateo.

Thank you. And your roller skating, too, with Mateo. Thank you. And your roller skating. See, here's the thing. You know about me. I know a little bit about you. I love it. I love that you know a little bit about me without your own Lindsay doing investigations. I haven't roller skated in a minute because I'm just deathly afraid of hurting my ankle again.

But I think I'm going to get back into it. I'm going to make a date, I think, in August to get my little skate gang back together. And if you're in LA, you can come skate gang. I just roller skated in LA for the first time a couple of months ago. Where's the rink? There's a rink close to. Moonlight. Yes.

I went to the fun one. I went to the one with all the themes. Oh, the themes. Was it to the fun one. I went to the one with all the themes. Oh, the themes. Was it on the west side? It was close to Overpass, which definitely makes me know it was in L.A. Okay. Yeah. Maybe it was downtown.

I don't know. I'd have to look that up. There's so few rinks open. Yeah, but I went there. And it was fun, but scary scary because there's some professionals get out of their way the saddest part where it's like i'm just moving and people are like whizzing past you last time i went to a roller rink i screamed the whole time and my friend uh josh sharp was pulling me and i was just screaming oh my god god. We have too many similar friends. I love

Josh Sharp. He's one of the best people. He sends me a Christmas card every year. One of them was him, just his butt, just naked and I still have it because it made me laugh and smile so hard and every now and again I'll just look at him and be like, there's my friend's butt. I love it.

Aww. Alright, Jay, we've come to the end is there anything you would like to promote that is not backed by a studio oh 100% you can catch me on tour I'll be at Zany's in Chicago August 17th through August 19th come out

to that show I'm also on tour if you go to my website or go to any of my social media which is all just at Jay Jordan or jayjden.com. You can see my full list of tour dates. I'm going on tour this fall. I'm also going to be adding more tour dates for the winter. So Los Angeles, I am coming.

Nicole, do you get this? People on Instagram get so mean. They'll be like, great clip. When the fuck are you coming to Atlanta? Wait a second. Yeah. Or they'll be like, when clip. When the fuck are you coming to Atlanta? Wait a second. Yeah. Or they'll be like, when are you coming to D.C.? And I'm like, I was there last weekend.

And they're like, what the? I missed it. And I'm like, I posted about it ad nauseam. When I tell you that's it. Listen up, District of Columbia. Y'all, I want y'all to achieve statehood, but only if you stop complaining about missing comedy shows because y'all are the most missing ass comedy show ass city ever they'll be like no one ever comes dc because i don't know what y'all are doing are y'all looking at cherry blossoms all the time

i when i was in dc i made a joke about waking up joe biden and nobody liked it well you know what woke him up that That cocaine, baby. He's awake. A little too bump. That's my favorite thing that's happened recently. Okay, well, Jay, I could truly talk to you forever. You're fucking delightful.

But we've got to wrap it up. If you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you can like it, you can rate it, you can subscribe on apple podcast if you write me a nasty come on hitting on me to why won't you date me at gmail.com i will read it uh please send fun ones uh this one says i would like to walk in on you putting your makeup

on butt naked except for matching flowing blonde wig and merkin because you are playing naughty rapunzel in a new movie. I will help you rehearse your nude scene. This is like your romance, Jay. I will rehearse your nude scene by saying, Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair as you spread your legs wide open for me. I will go to town on your mound and booty hole until you feel like you're in a fairy tale. I will butt munch you so vigorously that your golden merkin ends up on my head. We now look like sexy, naughty twin sisters, except I'm actually a man in a merkin wig.

We decide blondes do have more fun, so we have a pillow fight and get feathers stuck all over our sweaty bodily fluid-soaked bodies. We fall asleep looking like sexy chickens and we live happily ever after. That was fun. Thank you. Sexy chickens.

Bawk, bawk. Okay, bye-bye. Why Won't You Date Me with Nicole Byer is produced by me, Mars. It's executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, with talent bookings by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Maddie Auden. Got a question, crazy dating story, or a dirty message for Nicole? Write it to whywontyoudatemepodcast at gmail.com for a chance to have it featured on a future episode.

Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Bye-bye. This has been a Team Coco production.