Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Having A Self-Love Affair (w/ Jujubee)

Episode Date: June 12, 2026

You ready for some good juju? This week, iconic drag queen Jujubee (Drag Race, Stop! That! Train!) joins Nicole to talk about the power of self-love and why she’s officially stopped looking for a relationship. Nicole pays tribute to her first dog, Charlie, and the two discuss why the true soulmates are actually the animals in our life. Jujubee shares her philosophy on why love never dies, and opens up about the clarity she's found from being 9 years sober. She shares her best advice on having the ultimate solo date, and the two Delta Diamond Divas share their travel tips.Go see Stop! That! Train! in theatres today. Check out Jujubee's latest EP, MESS FOR YOU.Support this podcast by checking out our sponsors:• Jones Road Beauty: Use code DATEME at jonesroadbeauty.com to get a Free Gift with your first purchase! #JonesRoadBeauty #ad• Warby Parker: Our listeners can buy one prescription pair and get 20% off any additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/DATEME — and using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #ad• Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.• Wayfair: Patio season is here and these deals won’t last! Head to Wayfair.com right now to get your outdoor space ready for way less.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerThis is a Headgum podcast. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description. This is a headgum podcast. We talk a lot on this show about how messy, dating, and relationships can get. But here is something that will make life a whole lot messier. The ongoing efforts to defund plan parenthood. Shutting down health centers makes it so much harder and so much more expensive for everyone to get the affordable care that they need.

Recently, a lot of work. has passed to defund Planned Parenthood as a part of a year's long effort to shut down these vital health centers. Now some members of Congress want to make that defunding permanent, which robs care from the millions of people who rely on Medicaid to get their health services. Cancers will go undetected, STIs will go untreated, and patients won't get the birth control they need to plan their families and their futures. But Planned Parenthood isn't backing down. They're still showing up for patients every single day, making sure everyone can access life-saving, life-changing, sexual and reproductive health care. Plan Parenthood needs you in this bite right now. No matter the

size of your donation, it makes a real difference. Don't let them get away with this. Go to planparenthood.org slash defend and give today. Oh, baby, we're working on some fun stuff behind the scenes, and we want you to help shape the future of why won't you date me? We put together a super quick listener survey because I want to hear exactly what you want to see. Who are your absolute dream guests? What kind of wild topics do you want me to cover? Tell me what you want. The survey can be found in the link for the Why Won't You Date Me Link Tree in the episode

description. Click that and the survey link will be listed at the top. It only takes a few minutes and truly helps me make the show better for you. Answer now. Find the Why Won't You Date Me Link Tree in the episode description for the listener. Everybody. Won't you date me? A podcast for me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single,

even though you could come on my eye and tell me it's eye shadow. My guest today is an iconic drag queen who competed on RuPaul's Drag Race Season 2 and All-Star Season Uno and Cinco. That's one in five for you, non-bilingual idiots. Just kidding. She stars in the brand new movie set within the drag race franchise. Stop That Train! Which is playing in theaters today.

It's the first time I've gotten to interview her in person. It's who? Jujoo Jujoo B! Or we can call me, because of the movie Stop Bet Train, Choochoo B. Choo B. It's really funny. Get it out. Oh, I think that's staying in, honey.

I love it. So, she's an actress. I am now. I've always been an actress Right, thank you, thank you You've always been I think this kind of solidifies the fact that maybe I can act

So we are recording this Before the movie is out But the premiere was last night Yeah What was it like To sit in a dark theater And see yourself On a gigantic fucking screen

In front of a sold-out crowd Nicole It was a dream come true and I don't even say this lightly. I was absolutely living a dream in real life. And you know when you get to do that, you snap and it's real. Yeah. And I found myself not just watching the movie,

but I was watching people enjoy the art that we created. And this movie is stupid in the best kind of way. It is so stupid. but it's that silliness and that satire that the world needs. Yes. And I'm just so grateful. And the fact that I get to be this huge Laotian face that I've never seen before on a big screen. You know, like it correct me if I'm wrong, right?

But I simply don't know. I don't know, you know. And I get to be this queer, left-handed brown Laotian person who's also American and loving. And a cat lover, like on the big screen. And I'm so grateful. I have whatever higher power out there that's been guiding me. My angels, I think there's seven of them. I know I sound crazy, but I believe it.

No, you don't. I believe that we have people watching over us and spirits and whatnot. Yeah. But I really like that you said that, like, somebody who looks like you, you got to see on the big screen. Because some other kid or, like, young adult, who cares what their age is. but like somebody might see you on screen and be like, wait, my dream is attainable. Absolutely. Like a lot of people are like, representation doesn't matter.

It fucking does. It absolutely does. Like, I remember watching Living's single and Kim Coles' character really did it for me. Uh-huh. And I and Erica Alexander also did it because she was a dark-skinned woman. So I was like, so you have this like quirky woman who's like kind. And Queen Latifah, like, she wasn't super thin. But I was like different body types, different shades.

and they were so fucking funny. And Oberton, like, loved Kim's character. Like, I just loved living single. And, like, it mattered. Yeah. Yeah. I watched that growing up. It's a good show.

It's a great show. The set was gorgeous. The outfits were gorgeous. The writing was so good. It was so deeply fucking funny. But I love that people get to see you and be like, oh, I can do that too. Absolutely. And I want people to say that.

I want people to say, wow, like, jujjjoo. off of multiple seasons of Rupal's drag race, unscripted, reality television, vulnerable in human form on TV, gets to act and take this role. And I approach the role in a very non-funny way. I know it's a comedy, but I know you know this. Yes. The funniest thing is the realist. Yes.

So I went in there and I pretended like it was a drama. and I was, I played the role like it was real. Like, I was really D-D. I love that. I think, because there's truly, I mean, there's so many different types of comedy, but like, leaning into the joke is one and hamming it up. Yeah. And that's my favorite.

But I also love playing something dead fucking serious. Real. And saying something so outrageous just like, with, like, real conviction. Yes. Because it just, like, makes it so much funnier. Wait, I missed one of your credits. You were on Canada versus. the world. No, UK versus the world.

Okay, UK versus the world. And I got third place there too. I'm so sorry. We can't forget Queen of the Universe where I got kicked off first. But that's okay. And then I guess there's another credit that I'm going to tell you about. Oh wait, drag you. Drag you. Wow. That's a lot of stuff.

And then I have an EP coming out, June 5th, Cold Mess for you. Oh. I love that. This is a lot of stuff. Do ju-Jubi said, Choo-2-B, never stop. Trucking along. Wait a minute. When is, And as this airs, May 21st, we premiered Drag House Rules Season 2 on OutTV.

I'm kind of busy. She's booked. She's busy. She's blessed. So when you did season two, back when it was on Logo TV, I watched it on LogotTV.com. Did you ever think that your career would blossom into this? Never. Never.

We just didn't know what we were doing. You watched Season 2 and none of it. of us queens walked into the room knowing that we could sell merch. We didn't know that we could tour after. I never saw myself as making music off of a reality drag show, right? But I got to do all of that. You got to do all of it. And now I'm starting in a freaking movie with RuPaul and Ginger Minge.

That's so fun. And LaTrice. And LaTrice. I love LaTrease. Listen, when you see LaTrease in this movie, she is in theater, what I would call the princess track, where she shows up when she needs to and gets a standing ovation at the end. She is hilarious.

Oh, I'm so excited. I really, I wanted to see the premiere. Why didn't you come? Because my first dog passed away. I'm so sorry. Thank you. His name was Charlie. He was the sweetest little boy.

My old roommate, John Milheiser, somebody on Facebook was like, take this dog. This is in 2012 or 2013? Oh, my gosh. So he lived a good long life. But somebody was like, take this dog. We found him on the street.

And then the first picture we have of him is we're pulling him by his leash in. And he's going like this because he was like, I don't know these people. But then we would take him to the park. I took so many naps with him. We would dye his tail because he was white. Yeah, he was the best. He was a D.O.C. When you were done with him, a dog of color.

That really got me good. A dog of color A dog of color, honey. He was a dog of color. Yeah, and I just wanted to spend some time with him before he had to cross the rainbow bridge. You know what? I can empathize because February 19th, I had to say goodbye to Pris, my cat. I'm sorry.

Thank you. 16 years. I feel like we're so lucky when we get to spend just like a sliver of our time on earth with these souls. Because you know how like people talk about like soulmates? Yes. And they only equate it to humans. To humans, yeah. But it's the animals. I agree.

Girl, I didn't learn, like, true love until my cats. I then, so there was Charlie. Charlie came first. Uh-huh. And then Charlie was bonded to John. Like, Charlie was John's. John was Charlie's. Like, they loved one another.

And then there was me. I'd be like, I'll dab with you. Come on, don't you want to love me? I didn't realize if I took them on more walks, we too could get bonded. Oh, absolutely. But I'm lazy. Me too. But I had gotten the flu and he wouldn't cuddle with me.

And I was like, I need somebody to love me. So I went on a website, dogs without borders, found this little cutie, went to North Hollywood, picked him up, brought him home. I said, John, we're going to foster this dog. He goes, okay. And after a day, I went, I lied. I paid the adoption fee. This is our dog. Oh, my gosh.

And John went, now I have two dogs to walk. And he was right. But Clyde was bonded to me. The nice man in my life, the other day I was out of town. He was like, I woke up early at like nine, and your dog was so confused about that and was like upset that we woke up early. I wake up no earlier than 11, 11.30. Oh, my God.

How? I love sleeping when the sun is out. Oh, my goodness. I love sleeping when emails are rolling in. I love sleeping when I know I have somewhere to be. And Mars is at the studio setting up going, I hope Nicole's on time and I'm sleeping going, I won't be. And then I wake up and I say, guess what?

I won't be. I'm late to everything. It's very bad. You sound like you have ADHD. I do. ID2. Very, very badly. Oh, my gosh.

And I have a tough time transitioning to new things. The only reason I was on time for this is because I was late. No, no, because June Jambalaya was here beforehand. I love June. June is the best. She's such a sweetheart. But I was actually on time for that too. And Mars was like, don't worry about what time you're supposed to be here.

Just be here when your schedule says you're supposed to be here because I was like, am I early or did you schedule this at an interesting time? She was like, don't worry about that. But yeah. So now I have Clyde. Yeah. doesn't ask to go outside in the morning. He, like, gets mad if you take him out too early. That is so funny.

And then he's up to all hours of the night with me. So Clyde is on Nicole by your schedule. Absolutely. And he loves it. That's so sweet. He loves it. And then we play a game where I just chase him, and he gets so happy. Yeah.

And then all I have to do is go, I love him so much. They're so sweet. Does he chase you back? No. Girl. No, not at all. Girl. But if I stop chasing him, he'll come up and then, like, cock his head and be like...

One more. One more. Yeah. Do it again. Come on. Come on. He's such a cute. I love him so much.

Do you have... And you have other cats, right? Well, both of my cats have passed away. I'm so sorry. Thank you. I will say this. Four days after I bought my house, it was a few years ago, Mr. My cat of 13 years passed away.

And I felt like he was like, all right, I brought you here. And then Pris stuck around for three. three more years. And the blessing that I felt was I really, really loved them. And I still do love them because I feel like, yes, they're passed away. But I don't think that saying the word love in past tense describes the real feeling because I'm always going to love them. Oh, I actually, wait a minute.

That's good. Yeah. We should use that for everybody. Yeah, everybody. Everybody who's passed on, every animal that's passed on because it's like, The loved implies that love stopped. And it doesn't stop. Yes.

You know, and their names don't stop. So it's never what was their name. It's what is. It's, I live in that world. I think the spectrum of the world that I live in is maybe they're not here physically anymore. But the memories and the energy and emotion will forever live in me. I like that. I really, really like that.

That's some good juju for you. Baby. Is this a spiritual podcast now? Because I actually want to date you. Do you? Yes. I'm like, why is her a podcast why won't you date me? Because I don't just want to date you.

I want to fucking marry you. If you let me, I want to fuck you. I would let you. I really would. I think it would be a really fun time. I'd keep the drag on for you too. What a dream. And that never happens.

People have asked. Have they? And you don't honor the right. request. No, no trains here, honey. I'm obsessed with you. I think you are so funny. Thank you. I think you're so funny. Thank you. And I've loved watching you on DragRue. I've just enjoyed you. Here's a question. Do you be? Are you single? Are you dating? Are you married? Do you not want to say? I, I'm single. I'm single. I believe I've gone on a few dates. I don't think this is kind of, of interesting. I went,

I think that was a date. We went to the museum and we had a cute time. I don't know if, I don't know if it was a date. I'm sure he's watching. Was it a date? Was it a date? Well, I can help you. Let's do a little detective work. Did you ask them out or they asked you out? It was mutual. And we were trying

to do something together. And then we were, was it me or was it happened? I don't know if you answered that. What do you mean? It was mutual. Like, you were talking, you were like, Let's go out, like at the same time? Well, not at the same time. We were both trying to hang out for a few months.

Okay. And then we finally had time. And then I said, did I say maybe it? Was there a hug at the beginning of the date? Yeah. Or at the beginning of the hang. Okay. Yeah, there was a hug and there was a hug at the end.

Was there a kiss? No. Did it feel like a kiss was going to occur? It could have. Was there any follow-up from anybody about hanging out again? Yes. And we hung out again. Did a kiss happen then?

No. So it wasn't a date. Huh. Wait, no, I'm... Maybe we're just old-fashioned. Maybe. Because, you know, most gay guys will just... Fucking suck right on that... Right after an hour.

Yeah, SOS. Suck on site. I took that from Jan Sport, so let's... We got a credit hour. You know, I really like you credit again. Jan Sport. No, Jan Sport's going to be like, no! No! So you've been on two dates with this.

You've been two meetups with this person. Maybe they're not dates. I wonder, if you know what, if he asks me the next time we hang out for me to help him get in drag, I'm cutting it off. Wait, has that happened? Oh, my gosh. Wait, you're going to cut it off communication or his dick? Just kidding. Both and I'll keep.

Maybe because no los dos. And for non-bilingual assholes, it's why not both? How much are you going to be working this pride? So much. Actually, I'm going to be. in Atlanta and Peatown doing Licked for Gay with Ginger. It's a lesbian love story between Elphaba and Galinda. That's why it's Licked for gay.

Could you imagine we just called it licked? But isn't that clever? It's very, very clever. Also, I saw you in Hocus Pocus. Yes. It was so, you were so funny in it. Thank you. And the three of you truly seemed like you are having the time of your lives.

We were. I talked to Ginger about it. I was like, there was so many moments where, like, it felt like maybe something wasn't rehearsed or it was. And it was just so deeply funny that, like, on stage, you were like, this is funny. Yeah. Sorry about it. What's really great about working with Ginger and Safira and Landon is you trust them when you're on stage. And you know when you trust your scene partners?

Oh, absolutely. Do whatever the fuck you want. That's what it is. That's the art. That's the emotion. You just know how things are going to happen. And I know the people backstage are like, come on, come on. We got to load out.

Safira at one point hits a note that was like, I don't know, otherworldly. And then at the end, she was like, get up. Every single night, too. She hits the note. It's unreal. It's so cool to like get to see queens with just like such talent because you were so, you play the Sarah Jessica Parker part. And you did this thing when you would leave the stage, like your arms were kind of like not go limp, but like, at your side and then you like you did this thing with your I can't even describe it it was just so

deeply funny oh it was a yeah it's so funny I would you know I don't know where I got that from but I feel like I I approached the character of Sarah as as like a golden retriever yeah like she was looking for her next treat and every room she'd step in was a surprise like she didn't know where she was going. And that's how I, that's how I did. I always, I was kind of model my characters after an animal. An animal? Yeah. Real quick. We got to take a break. I used to think doing my makeup meant spending 45 minutes painting my face with a million different products, but I realize that in the summer, I have zero patience for heavy caked on makeup. They'll melt the second I step outside. I just want to look fresh and put together without the hassle. That is why. I don't.

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getting a free gift on their first purchase when they use code date me at checkout. Just head to Jones Road Beauty.com and use code date me at checkout. After your purchase, they will ask where you heard about them. Please support my show and tell them I sent you. You guys know I am basically a full-blown farmer now growing my own food right in the backyard. I am living that farm-to-table lifestyle because I'm a farmer. But a glamorous farmer like myself needs a glamorous farm. I couldn't just have my patio looking like a messy vegetable patch. Come on. I need gorgeous outdoor furniture with the right planters to make it chic, stunning, modern, beautiful. Thanks to Wayfair, I officially have the coolest yard in the neighborhood.

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glasses and get 20% off any additional pairs at Warbyparker.com slash date me. That's 20% off any additional pairs when you purchase one pair at W-A-R-B-Y-Parker.com slash date me. You bop, boop, we're back. Br-R-B-B-R-B-R-R-R-R-R-R. Are we stimming? I think so. I, I, I stimmed with a, with Bidi-B-D-B-D-B-B-B-B-B-B-

Sela-C-C-L-L. Selina Kintin-P-R-Rez. I love Selena. I have a Selena poster in my room. Do you? Not now. No. I mean, no offense.

I love Selena. That's forever. When I was a kid, I grew up in Fresno, California. Oh. And I had the dreaming of you picture. Mm-hmm. What is that? That's like a white background.

Mm-hmm. With red. Red at the bottom, dreaming of you. Yeah. I saw the movie. I didn't know who she was until I saw the movie. Years and years and years and years ago. And when I got to the end of it, I was like, wait, what?

Uh-huh. Now I can't, like, go to a concert. I was like, so, I know. I didn't know what happened, and I was so excited because I was like, I love her. And then that bitch, Yolanda, I think she got out of prison or something. I don't think she's going to get out of prison. But she's not out. Okay, well, thank.

Someone's going to kill her. I think. People still love Selena. Yeah, I mean, I love Selena. I love Selena. Beeddy, bum, bum. Have you gone to the Selena statue in Corpus Christi? No, I haven't.

I really want to go. And the Grammy Museum just had like a. exhibition with her stuff and I missed it. Listen, she's a goddess. I love her so much. Me too. I go around my house going, beidi, beady bum bum.

And the nice man in my life had no idea it was a real song until I played it for him. And he went, oh my God, I thought you. It's a real song, yes. He was like, I thought you were just saying words. He loves you. He does. It's really nice.

This morning, I ran away from him as a bit. Did he chase you? Well, I went, ah. And then I would stop and he would catch up and he was like, what? And I went, ah. No, that's. And he was like, what's happening? And I was like, ah, I did it three times.

And then he was, are you okay? And I was like, yeah, I just made a choice to run away from you. Good morning. So you were role playing as Clyde. Mm-hmm. Very that. And wanted to be chased. Yes, I did.

But then also, it was making me laugh because it felt like I was in a horror movie. I like that. I was like running away, but then he kept appearing. I like that, though. I like that. I also never tell him when I'm playing a game. You don't have to because it's nice mind games. And if they pass the test, they could stick around.

And then you can start wearing like those old panties in front of them, you know, the ones with the holes that you refuse to throw away. I have. I'm wearing one now. Just some nasty little. Holy Panties. Honey, the holiest. I wear big, big granny panties. But, like, they're, like, pretty high up.

My grandma does, too. I love them. Buckle me in. I was away from the weekend, and I texted him. I was like, you miss me? And he was like, yeah, it's really quiet. And I was like, what a compliment. It kind of is.

Yeah. Because the day before I left, I was working all day, got home, would not shut up. And then we went to a birthday party where I would not shut up. And then on the way home, would not shut up. And then at night, would not shut up. Does he ever get a word in? Yeah, but sometimes. But I had a lot to say.

And he hears everything. Yes. I know he does. And he remembers things. It's crazy. That is kind of wild. I said one day, I love Uda noodles. And then, like, three days later, he made me Uda noodles.

And I said, how did you know I like them? Wait, because you said it, girl. Did he learn how to make them or did he already know how to make them? He already knew how to make them. He knows how to make so many things. What does he do? He's, uh-oh. I get it wrong.

He's a data analysis. Dada. Dada. He's my dad-da. Wait, I kept saying something. Data anal. Wait, we were in public and I kept saying, load me up, daddy. And he...

And other people can hear this? Well, we were in a shooting range. Oh, well, they couldn't hear it because they were shooting. No, yeah, there was like poppity pop-p-de-p-p-de-b-b-de-bom-bib-bom-lode-bibum-lode me up, Daddy! He likes it, I'm fun. Good. What are you looking for in a man? I don't think that I am.

Oh. See, okay, I think... It's a weird thing to say because I always used to chase after the idea of, like, this relationship. But we said earlier, I didn't know what true love was. I lost my first cat. Yeah. And that's when I learned, oh, my gosh, love is just not romance. Love is just not romance.

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I said romance. That's so weird. It's okay. I was following it. Yeah. I didn't clock it. I did because I overthink.

I have a lot of channels in my mind. Don't overthink anything here. This is the time to turn that brain off and say dumb shit. Yeah, I'm going to say some dumb shit. I think this is the first time of my life where I'm not looking for a relationship because my relationship with myself is. is still developing and I love my career. I love the music that I'm writing.

I love the movie that I'm starring in with some great people. It's a love affair with me. And I think I'm okay with that. I love a love affair with yourself. Yeah. I think it's, okay, things that I think are underrated. Like people really do romanticize romantic love. But self-love is beautiful.

Yes. Friendship makes me cry. I love friendship. And then I love like animals loving you. Like there's things that are way more important than romantic love. And I feel like nobody really talks about that. Yeah. You know what I mean?

No, I do. I do know. Like, I started doing this thing where I take myself on a date. And it's just me. I pick a good restaurant. And I'll just get dressed really nicely. And it's always a little shocking because you show up. And they're always like, how many?

And I'm like, oh, it's just me. Just me. And don't you dare hide me in the corner. I want a table for six because I'm going to order for 12. And I'm going to fuck this shit up in this restaurant and tip you really well, sweetie. Honey. If I was a hostess at a restaurant and someone said that to me, I'd be like, well, yes. Well, yes.

There is your table of six. And I hope you do order for 12. And I will. I used to take myself out on dates when I lived in New York more because there's something about getting in the car out here where I'm like, I don't know. Yeah. But I used to like, if I was out and I had a chunk of time,

I would just like go see a movie by myself. Or like go to like an expensive, there used to be this, I think it was called like city bakery. It doesn't exist anymore. But they had this like just the best fucking chocolate chip cookie. So I would just like take myself there, get a hot chocolate with a giant marshmallow. And I would just like have a nice time for, hour, hour and a half tops and just like read a book.

Yeah. Oh. It's really important to do these things because you get to spend time with you. And maybe the thoughts just don't happen. Yeah. And maybe you're just experiencing the present moment. Mm-hmm. It's nice.

And I love New York, by the way. I love New York. Took me a while. Oh, did it? 30 tries. Really? Yeah. But then I finally did that thing where I became sober and I was like, you know what?

you tell yourself that you hate this place, but do you hate this place because every time you were here, you would get messy. And this was the first time I wasn't messy in New York. I let myself get lost. I don't know what train it was. I just took it like a few stops

and I got out and I walked around and I realized how beautiful New York City is, how diverse it is. It is. It's so diverse. And it's just so many different people living together. But it does feel like, Sesame Street to me. Yeah.

It's a set. I don't believe it. Yes. And I, when I lived there in like my early 20s, I too was very, very messy. And I'm not sober, but I drink less. And like I wouldn't like go out during the day in my early 20s because I'd be like nursing a hangover. But every time I go back now, I'm like, I'm going to make a point to not, you know, black out. Yeah.

I'm going to make a point that I can like wake up in the morning and like, Go see every, like, not everything. I just like walking around the city. It makes me happy. It's the energy that you can't get anywhere else. Yes, but we could if public transportation was a thing that this country prioritized. It's crazy that New York City is the only city in this country where you could get from, you could go to the top of the Bronx to the bottom of Brooklyn for $2.75.

You could ride the train for four hours and be. some, like... And you can tap your phone now. You can tap your phone? Why can't I do that in L.A.? I mean, there is a train system here. It goes in a circle, the red line. It doesn't go anywhere I needed to go.

If you come to Boston, you could take the tea, honey. Ooh, what's the tea? What's the tea, honey? What's the tea? And you could be a tea girl up on that train. I could. Well. All the adults are like, I can't believe she just said that.

We'll never date her. And here's the thing. I didn't jump on the joking because I said you're not coming from me. You know what? We all love. Nothing but love. Can I ask, do you have any advice for single people? Just keep being single.

Live your life. Eat pizza. Adopt a cat or a dog garden. And stop looking for love because love will look for you when time comes. And if it doesn't, so what. Who cares? I like that. Do you garden?

A lot. Half an acre. I know. You said that earlier, and I gasped like I didn't know. I love that you have a half acre. I'm a farmer. Yeah. The crops I have are tomatoes.

Strawberries that I planted incorrectly, so they come out looking wild as hell. Lumpy and bumpy and kind of deformed, but they're really sweet. Wait, how? I just didn't give them enough room from the pot. Oh, you crowded them. I like that. That's chaos. Mm-hmm.

And then I have cucumbers and a watermelon. Blueberries. Those are fun, but the birds always get to them before me. Oh, really? Yeah. My birds, they didn't come for them. Yeah, Boston birds are assholes. Oh, my Lord.

I love these California birds who said, I don't give a shit. Girl, they're all high here. That's why. They're like, I'm looking for some chocolate or something. Yeah. Yeah, they're like, do you got some chicken? I do love chicken Can I ask

Why did you get sober? Do you mind sharing that story? I don't mind at all I got sober because I was tired I was sick and tired of being of being sick and tired Of repeating the same things It was the same thing

I would go to work I would get super drunk I would you know eat chicken bare hands in my hotel room bed and quickly pack and it was it was as if it was a metaphor for my life I was just throwing everything in this suitcase and zipping it up and when I would get home it would be this mess that I had to clean up and I hated repeating that and it was a really long time before I actually got sober

and when I got sober everything was clear as day and I was still a mess I mean I'm still a mess but I'm a sober mess. Yes. And I get to deal with my mess because in my drinking, it wasn't just a drinking problem. It was a thinking problem for me. And I discovered that. So I found people who I wanted to be like and we help each other out. And I think on this side of my life, it's just better.

And it's safer for me. Yeah. And I'm less judgmental of myself. and other people. I mean, I'm still a fucking bitch. Always and forever. Baby, but I own up to it. And I think that's the beauty of sobriety for me.

I like that. I drink a lot of my early 20s. And as of late, I've been a little choosier with the times I drink. Uh-huh. Because I had a silly misconception that, like, things are only fun unless I was, like, a little tipsy. Right? And I'm like, oh, wait, I can just be fun. can just bring the fun. I don't always have to be drinking.

And that has been a fun, a fun thing to like just, you know, experiment with. And I don't know. There's just something to having a little bit of clarity sometimes where it's like, oh, I don't have to apologize to somebody for what I said last night. Right. Or ignore it and pretend like, oh, I'll just ignore it. Like, that didn't happen because I was drunk. And I would use that excuse with myself. But now I am, I immediately say sorry when I heard somebody's feelings. And I'll say sorry. this, Nicole, I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. I wish I didn't do that, but I did, and I'm really sorry. And I used to do, I'm sorry you felt that way. And when I was saying it back then, I thought that that was a real apology. Yes, and it actually really isn't.

No, it's putting it on them. Yes. Did I do two breaks or no? No, you get through it next one. I'm really, the ADHD truly is like, I was like, yes, did I'm like, yes, did I'm Because we're together. Groh, it's because we're together. Real quick, we got to take another break.

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And I have to tell you, it was the most perfect weekend. I found this incredible home on Airbnb that set on a massive, beautiful plot of private land with miles and miles of desert surrounding it. We spent the whole night in the hot tub, even my dog Clyde, had this huge, huge safe area to roam around, leash-free, which he absolutely loved because there was zero light pollution. The stargazing was magical. I saw so many shooting stars, even the Milky Way for the very first time. For that kind of trip, hotels just don't give us the privacy we want. Instead of sharing a crowd at pool with strangers, we had our very own private hot tub, hammocks, and even an outdoor shower. Plus, having two bathrooms was a total game changer. If you're looking

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Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash date me for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash date me. And we're back with the ju-ju-B. We got the ju-ju-B. She's wearing red right now. It's the ju-ju-bib.

Hold on. Let me sit on this song. I'm a cover desk because... You know, Coke Zero, I think, is marketed to men because Diet Coke is marketed to women. But I like both. Oh. I also like Diap Pepsi. Oh my God, did you hear that? No.

Did you burp? I did burp. I also like Diet Pepsi and any other kind of Dietkeola. Here's the thing. Have you ever had a fresca? Yes. I once had a fresca on a plane. Oh, I've never done that. How was that?

It was really nice. Really? I've never had a fresca on land. Really? No, it's delicious. Really, like, fizzy and lemony. I love a fresca. I like a fresca.

You know what I drink on planes? What do you drink on planes? Tomato juice. And I'll only drink it on a plane. It tastes better for some reason. I don't know what it is. It's science. says that you are telling the truth, but I think tomato juice just tastes really tinny.

You think? To me. Wow. I don't like it. Wow. Like people love a Bloody Mary or like tomato juice with like the celery and stuff and the spice. I can't. I also like, like, okay, do you like mustard?

I love mustard. I hate mustard. Really? Do you like pickles? I love pickles. I hate pickles. We can't be friends. Do you like horseradish?

I'm growing it in my garden Oh, I hate horse ratus. What? Oh, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. Is it, is it that like, it must be that like, um... I don't like vinegar. Really? Mm-mm.

Is it too strong? I don't, it hits me in a weird way and I can't, I don't like it. It makes you gag. And I think like kimchi has vinegar in it, and people seem like they love it so much. Maybe it's fermented foods? Oh, maybe. Yeah? Yeah.

I don't think kimchi has vinegar in it. It doesn't? I don't think so, honey. Oh. I think it's fermentation. Yeah. Wait, is it pickle fermented? It can be, but a pickle does have vinegar in it.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't like old food. I want mine fresh. So you don't like canned things. Yeah, I'm too rich. But you like a fresca in the sky. I love a fresca in the sky. No, I do like canned things because I think tomato sauce comes out of a can, right?

Yeah. I'll eat that. And that's acidic, though. Unless you put a little baking soda. Oh. Sugar? I don't cook. Actually, I think that's really smart.

I've seen people put honey in their pasta sauce. Or as the Italians would call it Sunday gravy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Or is that just a Massachusetts Italian thing? No, it is a northeast Italian thing. Okay, so you get it. Yeah, gravy, Sunday dinner, where they're like,

oh, would you like this charcutory plate? We have Butzadeh. And prosciute. And you're like, all right. And don't you forget the regatta. Maybe we were Italian in our last lives. Ah, Mamma Mia, maybe.

The only thing I know how to say. Sorry. Sorry. Brian is also ADHD. Brian. The funniest part was I heard it. And I was like, well, it'll be over soon. And then I look over and you're non.

What is it? It's like a bar of sorts. It's like everything I took from the craft service. And it's probably crunchy, isn't it? I am dying. That was so funny. Okay. For everybody watching and listening,

Brian's trying to open up a foil package of crunchy foods while we're recording a podcast. It was, I like, nothing could have prepared me for you gnawing on it to get it open. Like a fucking. sewer rats. Because I really, I was like, oh, he must be just like trying to open it, not catching it with his hands. That's how he is with condoms.

The other time I opened it was when I needed my second Adderall. Oh, my God. I'm dying. That couldn't have been funnier. What were we talking about? I don't know, but that ADHD guy right there. We were talking about the Italians. I love Italians.

I love Italians, too. I grew up in Jersey, and I just finished the Sopranos. I had never seen it before. I've never seen it. You got to watch it. Okay, here's the thing. The pilot episode is going to be a little tough to get through with the ADHD. But then the second episode still going to be a little hard.

But once you get halfway through the season, I'm telling you. Halfway. I know. I know. Stay with me. Halfway through the season, you're like, well, I need to know how this ends. Season two starts and you go, okay, I'm pretty locked in. I really need to see what's going on.

By season three, I could not stop watching it. How many seasons? I believe it is six. Oh. You're going to have a really nice time. Lorraine Braco is doing some of the best work. That man, Tony Soprano, James Gandalfini. Uh-huh.

He does not like black people on the show, and I kept apologizing for him. When I was watching it, it was a nice man in my life. I was like, I know what he said was not great, but like, Tony is just, he's just so great. It's, I loved it. I loved it so much, and they read the Star Ledger, which is the paper I grew up reading. Oh, my gosh. But here's what I know it to say in Italian. Usona Bella Dona Bianca.

I am a beautiful white woman. Well, let me start. You should get that tattooed. I should. I said it all over Italy and people kept going, no, you are not? They're like, ah. No, they didn't get it.

I was kidding. No, I bet you they did get it. No, they really didn't. My friend, my friend, his friend was like, she smokes cigarettes. She was like, you a lot of things. but white you are not. Like, I think they really thought I was like, I'm white.

You know, I love that. Thank you. Well, we have come to the end. Jujubi, I've really enjoyed this. I find you... I've enjoyed this too. Thank you. So wonderful. I think you're so funny and you're just like, I don't know.

There's something about you. The aura is the thing. Thank you. The kujoo-choo-ch-ch-ch-choo. That wasn't your original name. No, it was literally airline, which is my real name. Wait, you were using your real name. Yeah.

And then your real name is a misspelling of another name? My real name is so airline. It was supposed to be Air Lynn without the E. Yes. And I don't know why the E was put on, but it's really funny. And I'm keeping it forever. Wait, I love that your first name is Airline. And then the movie Stop That trains another mode of like transportation.

And I'm a Delta Diamond Diva with 1.6 million miles, honey. You beat me. I have 1.5 million miles. Lifetime miles or just current? No, lifetime miles. Like flown miles. Yes, same. You know?

Did you know what? You have to get to 3 million miles before you're a permanent 360 member? 3 million? Yes. That's going to be a while. I know. That's what I said. I don't travel as much.

Yeah, especially now with the price of gas and the- It's crazy. And Harmoos being shut down and she... I know. Girl. But the Delta One lounge at JFK has one of the best bagels I've ever had. I don't know if I've ever gone to that lounge. Wait, you've never been to the Delta...

Have you been to the Delta One lounge? No! Ju-Jubey. I've been to the one here. Yes. And that one's great. The New York one is even better. No.

There's a sit-down restaurant. Shut your hole. There's massages. No. There's a quiet area where you have to, Shh. Wait, I love that part of the train, too. The quiet car. Oh, yeah, there's a quiet car on a train as well.

Well, I mean, would you know, girl? Nope, I love screaming. No, but massage? Yeah, there's like massage chairs. Listen, I would like show up at the airport early just to do the things. Okay, here's the thing. I keep trying to convince my very best friends this year to buy a refundable Delta One.

one-way ticket. Go down there. Have a lovely dinner. Miss our flight. Get our refund. Go back home. She won't do it. I'm sure somebody at Delta is watching right now. Here's the thing. You can't stop me. How are you going to stop me?

You're not going to let me buy my ticket? Right. It's refundable. So you could do that. You could just miss a flight and get refunded? I've done it before. I went on a date to, so this was years and years and years ago. I talked about it. I went on a date to the Burbank Airport to go to Guy Fieri's burger restaurant. Oh, my gosh.

We wore flames. He wore a cowboy hat. We went through TSA. We ate our burger. We left. I called Delta. I said, we missed our flights. Even though we checked in, we just, like, missed them.

That is, okay. And they gave me my money back. Wow. It's because you're a diamond. Yes. Oh, yeah. Don't try it if you're not a diamond. Because if it's refundable,

You'll get it back, but you have to make sure it's refundable. Right. But if you're a diamond, it doesn't actually have to be refundable. They'll just give it back to you. I didn't know that. I should really read up on things. Oh, I don't read. I just call them.

And I say, I miss my flight. Hello, this is Nicole Beyer. And they're like, hello, Ms. Beyer. Here's another thing I learned. What? If you tell them fun things about your life, like, say you need to change a flight for the stop that train premiere. Uh-huh. If you called Delta and you were like,

Not to tell you all my business, but like, I'm in a movie and I have a premiere. They're nicer to you. Really? Mm-hmm. Wow. Or, honestly, if you just go, oh, it sounds like you're having a tough day. I'm really sorry that I'm adding on to this. No, no, no, it's my job.

Don't worry about it. Let me do. I'm going to try everything I can to help you. I'm always really sweet. Very, very sweet. That's how you get what you want. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like once I was getting on a flight and they called me. And they were like, we have a first class seat available. Would you like it? I said, no, thank you. But also, there is number two on your list will be Sechir's Ameda. She's traveling with me. Don't call her.

She can't have it. She has to sit next to me. And they didn't call her. That is so funny. Oh, I would have taken it. No, we were traveling together. We got to sit next to one another. She would have been fine.

You're already going to see each other over there. We're very different there. I can't believe you said that to them. And then that number three person was like, yes. Yep, that number three person had a really nice time. And we had a real nice time in a, what is it, comfort plus? Oh, that's fine. Is there anything you want to promote?

Stop that train, June 12th. Yes. And this, my music project, mess for you. The EP comes out a week. June 5th. A week before, yeah, June 5th. And lick it with Ginger Minge and me in Atlanta and in Pee Town this summer. And when you're in Atlanta, you've got to go to this restaurant called Jin Chans.

Okay, that sounds really good already. It's so fucking, it's Asian fusion, and they have really delight. They aren't paying me, and this is the second time I've mentioned them, but they have these, like, really good pizzas, and then they have bang bang chicken, which is fried chicken that's gluten-free, and then they have, like, this sauce on it, and it's so fucking good. I missed out on some noodles that I went on their Instagram that looked really delicious, and I know far too much about these people from the Instagram, but it was so. fucking good. Everyone there is really nice. They also have this tequila called, oh, wait, you don't drink. Never mind. But tell me, maybe somebody wants to hear about it. Yes. I forgot. Other people are listening. Yeah. It's called Sparkle Pony Reprizzado or something. Wow. And they serve it to you with an orange slice with cinnamon on it or nutmeg. I can't remember. But I had never had nutmeg or cinnamon on an orange.

And it was so delicious. So like an orange, like an orange cup? It was like a slice of an orange. Oh. That was the garnish of the drink. But then I was like, just bring me more oranges. This is lovely. Maybe I'll just get that with the fresca.

Yeah. Oh, a land fresca. Opulence. A land fresca. Get out of town. Wait, would you date me? I would absolutely date you. I would marry you.

Oh, yeah. You did say that. Yeah. I just wanted to hear it again. Nicole Vier. Yes. I, Jujib, would date you. If you like this episode of,

Oh, I won't you to date me. This will take you long. You can like it, you can follow it, you can rate it five stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. And if you write me, wait, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. What do you do your thing, girl, you're good. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me

to why won't you date me podcast at gmail.com, I'll read it. This person writes, Hi, Nicole, you got me acting like a freight train. That's funny that you found you search for, for this episode. Mars is one of the best producers. See? She's been with me

since the beginning. She's the best. Because I want to chug a chug a chug my way right between those thick thighs into your juicy pussy. I'm going to lay my tracks deep inside you. Vibrate like a high-speed rail and suck on those tities

until you squirt all over my conductor hat from Anonymous. It's actually from me. Choo-choo! J-Joo! J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-B! That was trained and Batman. It really was.

He got really hot in the studio. You're not hot? No, but I know you're wet. I'm sopping wet right next to J-Jub-B. Juicy Pussy is crazy funny and amazing. To read that out loud, It's my favorite part of a podcast. Wow.

Because sometimes I'll have a guest where they're really upset about it. Really? Oh, my gosh. Yeah, and I'll just like, you know, like a vibe shift? I'll just feel it. And I'm like, oh, you absolutely hated that. Well, at least it's at the end. Yeah.

And then there's some guests where I skip it all together because I know that the vibe shift will be too much for me to come back from. Oh, my gosh. Well, we're cool. We go. When do you leave town? Tomorrow. Oh. Yeah, this one's got me working, so.

Wait, are you flying back to Boston? Mm-hmm. Are you in Delta One? No, they didn't book me Delta One, did they? I didn't book it. I'm in coach. Did you ever get your thing opened? No, I'm waiting. I was already mortified.

No, no, open it now. Me? I was saying earlier, that's probably what it's like for him to open up a condom. I literally can't do it. I mean, we ended. Yeah, you just hear like the full of wrapping. Oh, can you do that, Mars, at the end of this episode? Let it just fade to black and just let the little crunch.

Go on for a while. And we're just like, get that open. Get it open. I'm so sorry about that. It was really funny. Bye. That was a hate gum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry?

Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to F***. Coming to F***. That's what it is. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast. A new show coming to Headgum soon. Woo-hoo. I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute to rock. Apparently, there's only so much. much butthole you can take.

We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that. Every so often. With guests like Spike Jones. I think this committed jackass the podcast.

What was it going to be felt? The jackass podcast. No, Jackass podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Steve-O. There's a strong chance that we're at an operating. jackass that I would be in clown makeup right this fucking minute. Chris Pontius.

That shot of your butt just cruising up. I'm like, I got that on TV. God bless us. Dave England. Yeah, when you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it, something bad's going to happen to me. We man, Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me.

And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy. I left a nice surprise in the toilet for him. Every time. Apparently, he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocketcast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Woo!

Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday. Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the podcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes. Yeah.