Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Hired a Matchmaker (w/ Amy Aniobi)

Episode Date: August 5, 2022

Writer/director Amy Aniobi (Silicon Valley, 2 Dope Queens) joins Nicole to discuss her experience dating with the help of a professional matchmaker, what it was like being raised by parents of an arranged marriage, and making the mistake of posting your significant other on Instagram. Nicole has injured herself singing karaoke.  Black Lives Matter. Click here for an updated list of over 100 different things you can do to support racial justice.   Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerMerch: podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me, a podcast where me, Nicole Byer, tries to figure out how I'm still single. Even if you jizzed in a mold of a shoe, let it harden, and presented it to me as new shoes, I would date you.

My guest today is a writer and director known for her work on the award-winning series insecure silicon valley and guess what two dope queens on her new no I'm not done. In her new podcast. Shut up! Sorry, keep praising me. Sorry. The Antidote. She and Grace Edwards share the culture and activities that bring them joy in these wild ass times. I am joined by Amy Adeobi! That was the sound of the crowd going wild.

Amy! We're so happy you're here! Thank you! Oh God, I have too much energy today. I might pass away. Amy, how are you? I'm doing great. And my energy is only half mass because I drank half a diet Pepsi. It was already half drunk.

And I was like, did I drink the first half? I don't remember, but I finished it, baby. Do you live alone? I sometimes have friends stay with me. So I am often alone, but often partnered. So I'm like, what happened? But there was only half left and I drank it and I feel good. So I drank half of this.

It is my order from Sturbeck's is a venti iced coffee, unsweetened, light ice, four shots of espresso, and sugar-free vanilla. That'll keep you going all day or till noon if you're like used to it. So I drink, I'll either drink the whole thing if I've got a day. Yeah. If I have like my day, I'll drink half of it and then drink the other half the next day. So this is a day old, but I'm feeling good.

Day old is still fine. Yeah. Iced coffee day old is still pretty good. I think so. I'm like unwinding. I went to Mexico. You ever heard of her? I have.

Is that south of Texas? It's south of Texas, north of Costa Rica. Beautiful. Great spot to be as a country. You know, just a little sandwich between Texas and Costa Rica. i went to puerto vallarta

and it's beautiful boy was it fun except yeah amy i got injured every single day wait what does that mean like you just what what was going on in puerto vallarta so okay i don't know what was going on in puerto vallarta i don't know what was going on with me and the universe, but I'd done fucked up at some point. And the universe said, on your nice vacation, friend, I'm coming. I'm coming for you, gal. I'm coming. Are we talking like finger scratch or like you were in a boot by the end of the week?

I mean, I could be in a boot. If it's not better by tomorrow, I'm going to go get an x-ray. So we did karaoke. I love karaoke. I love karaoke too, Amy. I'm not good at it. But lately, I've been doing mushrooms and then doing karaoke. And it's been incredible.

So that was the plan. Yeah, the lights, the singing, the vibes, the vibrations of the music i love it so i'm feeling myself um and we couldn't figure out why this one table kept getting up to sing we were like we put songs in like what the fuck is going on and they were so obnoxious and annoying and did not pick fun songs so i don't speak spanish but my friend's friend went over and was like why like what's going on why do you keep's friend went over and was like, why? Like, what's going on? Why do you keep playing their songs?

And he was like, the DJ said they paid him $50. Or no, maybe like $20 American. I think, I don't know how much that is in pesos. And I was like, I will give him $100 American to never play any of their songs again because they're fucking obnoxious. And I don't do that often I'm never paying people off but oh boy I gave them a hundred dollars and then they got mad that their songs weren't playing again and then I sang I'm not okay by my chemical romance and I said I'm not okay also this table's not okay you guys fucking suck and like truly on stage and then they left after and I was like if I knew I had to yell at them to make them leave I okay. Also, this table's not okay. You guys fucking suck. Like truly on stage. And then they left after.

And I was like, if I knew I had to yell at them to make them leave, I would have done that earlier. I would have done that sooner. But then the universe was like, karaoke is for everyone. You can't buy your way out and yell at people. That's,

that's the thing. Because on my way. Karaoke is for everyone. On my way to sing party in the USA while in Mexico, which again may be wrong. Yeah. I was skipping and I heard a pop. Wait, what?

I was skipping and something popped in my fucking leg. No. Wait, but you didn't like slip. No. And fall. You didn't like hit a chair just out of nowhere. The universe was like this. I was doing a child's activity oh my god skipping

to sing miley cyrus oh my god that's that's that's called i'll tell you something i finished the song because i'm professionally fun yeah and then the next day we went to this stunning private beach where they give you lobster, shrimp. Delicious. Ceviche. All the crustaceans. Yes. Crab. All the crustaceans.

Everything you could want dragged from the ocean. It comes in a shell. Yes. We're serving it. They're serving it. And they had pool floaties and it was stunning and I loved it. And I was limping out of of in and out of the ocean because my leg but different kind of bond girl i mean honestly that's the vibe i've always wanted

sexy coming out of the water dripping dripping in water just like hot as fuck not the tiniest limp right with a tiny little limp but then the pool float hit my little finger cracked my acrylic horizontally down like down the middle of my finger wait your finger's still busted girl i came out of the ocean like that bitch from the ring covered in blood okay okay i'm convinced that one of the people at that karaoke table was like some sort of witch and haunted me put a spell on me they put a spell on you that's wild and then we went atving god bless nothing happened atving um and then returned and life has been okay since my return. But boy, oh boy, did Mexico fuck me up. And also you didn't get injured ATVing.

No. Like that's actually dangerous. I know. But you got injured like skipping. Yeah, skipping. And exiting the water. Exiting the fucking water. Children's activities.

Swimming and skipping. Yes. The double S's. But here you were doing an adult activity like atv and you were damn fine i don't know i think it's because the woman in front of me she okay so what they do is they clock the bigger gals if you're a fatty they'll put you on a bigger atv because you go up the hills better if you're bigger on a smaller one you're gonna drag it down homegirl i think was thicker than she looked and she was going up the hill every time she's going up the hill she started rolling backwards and i kept screaming at her to shift up and she'd be like excuse me what was that and i was like shift up put it in five put it in four and yeah i think she was just going so fucking slow so i couldn't rip it so the universe was like we'll take care of you here

oh that's what it was yeah they're like you've learned yeah I did have a dream about like flying off the ATV and I was like is this what's is this a premonition but then it didn't happen oh my god it's some final destination shit you're like did I just see the way I go have you been on an ATV

the only wait I have. One time in, not Sicily, where was I? Where was I? I was on an ATV in, no, it was Sicily, on the base of a volcano. And they took us on an ATV over the dried lava. It was very cool.

You love to see it. I fucking love that. Yeah, I was like, I am in nature. And yet like above nature, I wasn't actually touching nature, just rolling on top of it. I love us. Black people would was like, I am in nature. And yet, like, above nature, I wasn't actually touching nature. Just rolling on top of it. I love us. Black people would be like, take me to nature.

But not too much. Not too much. And don't you dare leave me overnight in it. I'll be nearby. No, no, no. I'll be nearby. Where's the hotel? I'm a day nature-er.

I'm a day nature-er. In hour-long spurts. Yeah, I'll visit nature. But you can't make me stay in nature amy i did not get fucked in mexico which is how you say that's a shame sad not a treat um are you fucking here in america this is my way of asking are you single are you taken what's going on i'm dating yes I'm trying yes you know it was it's been such a weird time because the pandemic like literally you remember when we all got vaccinated and it was like we out here we outside for 36 seconds we were like let's be fucking sluts and then delta was like no

I'm gonna shave my legs and then the pandemic was like no I'm not gone bitch I'm going to shave my legs. And then the pandemic was like, no, I'm not gone, bitch. I'm still here. Let that hair grow out. You're going to have a long fall. And I went back in the house. And then now I'm back out again. I'm out in these streets. But not like the alleys. Like I'm in the well-lit streets.

Oh, that's good. You're on the main streets. Exactly. The main streets. I'm not doing anything too weird. I'm being cautious because like on the main streets. Exactly. The main streets. I'm not doing anything too weird. I'm being cautious because like we're back in another surge. And I just get so paranoid. I'm like, I don't want to be out here.

Like literally, you don't want to get COVID from a one night stand and then not know who they talk to. I don't know. Maybe you do. Like maybe that's an adventurous way to spend a summer. But I think for me, I just, yeah. I'm just like, I want to be a little careful. Yeah. When I finally done got it, like a fucking idiot, I went to Upfronts.

If you're listening and don't know what Upfronts are, Upfronts are where talent from TV shows. Industry talk. They all go to New York City and talk to ad people. And we're like, our show is is so great don't you want to buy ads on you fine hello and then there's parties and you mingle with the ad people so they feel special and they want to buy ads for your show or whatever it's like honestly it's really like I think of it as like a nice honor to be invited every time I'm invited it feels nice that the network feels like i can help sell the show um but i was there and maskless at parties maskless during the ceremony we were all

fucking raw dog in this shit like people yeah like one lady was like i work at clorox ha ha ha and i was like do you know open mouth laughing you what you are it's airborne by the end of the week they were like okay everyone uh put your masks back on i was like we've been spitting in each other's mouth like what do you mean now put them back on and then it turned out to be like a super spreader event so i got it didn't have to miss any work thank god because i've been saying this whole pandemic i was like i make too much money to fucking get it. I'm missing it. I'm not missing work for this.

I can't miss work. I can't miss work. I didn't have to do much, but boy, oh boy, it was not. Wait, have you had it?

Yeah. I finally, I got caught and I'm like pissed. I'm pissed. It was like the week that the mask mandate like ended on planes. And I was like, you won't catch me slipping. I started doubling up on masks and I went to speak at my alma mater they invited some uh like human you know I'm a writer so I studied the humanities and they're like hey people with humanities who

have somehow made careers come back and speak at this institution so a group of us went and I came back from that like four- trip. And when I landed and I'm like, I'm double masked on the plane. I'm like, I'm being very safe, masked up at the event, all the things. I get an email saying you have been near someone on campus who was exposed to COVID. And I was like, well, I wore a mask everywhere except that one time when I was eating snacks indoors by a group of people. The snacks done, gotcha gal. Literally, the snacks got me and they weren't even that good. It was like Raisinets.

You know, it's like one of those, like you think it's like an almond covered chocolate, but then nope, there's a weird raisin in there. Yeah, I got COVID from that. Or from the plane, because I saw a woman open mouth, like cough into her hand and then pick up her cell phone with the same hand.

So it could be from the plane. It could be from the conference. It could be both. These people are out here on these streets disgusting. I flew back from D.C. and every, so okay, I was in first class. Thank you so much. Of course.

But like, you know how you turn around to leave through the middle door? That's a big plane. That's a nice plane. It was an honest plane. Okay. But she was on a nice plane. Come through, Delta.

She's a diamond diva. Also, the new lounge at LAX is stunning. Oh, it's so nice. You're outside inside. Come through. It's like, hello, there's air. There's air. There's exhaust from planes.

There's noise from planes. But we are outside, inside living. But I turned around to leave and I looked at everyone in first class and they were all these. Did you have you seen Wally? Yes. So they are all like and I'm not fat shaming. They were fat people. It's just a fact.

They were fat, round, humpty dumpty white people who were old yeah and one of them had like a neck brace and the other one had like an oxygen mask and they're all like and i was like and none of you are wearing masks and you're dying you're actively dying in front of me and just raw dogging yeah you have hospital gear around you i was like are stretchers coming what is happening do these people fly to their death what happened that's wild that's wild everyone's out here in these streets wiling out nick cannon wiling out oh my god nick cannon never gonna stop he's like give me a hundred thousand children, you know, people talk about a race war.

We're going to have a Nick Cannon war. It's us against those children. It'll be Nick Cannon's kids against Future's kids because I'm like ready, ready for those two basketball teams to square off. I want to see the game. I'm like, that's going to be great. That's so funny. Amy, tell me this.

Riddle me this, Riddle me that. What apps are you on? Oh, so I'm actually not on the apps. Nicole, I hired a matchmaker. You did? That's the way I'm staying safe in these streets is someone is doing the looking for me. Okay. Do you feel comfortable telling me? me wait where's my dog oh he's right there do you feel is he here to listen he's like can i

doggy matchmaker well he was being too quiet i was like what did i leave him did i leave him Um, tell me, how much does this cost? So I have a loophole. Oh my God. I got a loophole. So here's the thing. I got the matchmaker before the pandemic and the dates never expired. Oh. And I bought five dates and they had sent me on three and then the world shut down.

And I was like, can I save these for post-inoculation? And they were like, of course. Fast forward to I get vaccinated. I'm like, I want to turn it back on. And I got matched with a matchmaker. It was actually,

it felt like good luck. Her name was Amy as well. And I was like, Amy's going to match me up real nice. She's going to help Amy. But I told her I didn't have, I was like, I don't have an income requirement, but I have a lifestyle requirement. I fly first class. Yes.

I like nice things. I want a man who is down with that. Yes. She was like, I'm going to start looking. She was looking, looking, looking. Real quick. So you don't have an income requirement. You have a lifestyle requirement.

So are you okay with the person who is in debt and doing all this shit? Well, not necessarily. I think the reason they say that because she was like, do you want to date someone who's like, you know, a millionaire? And I was like, I don't know if you need to be a millionaire to fly first class. You just have to be a little savvy with the saving. Yeah, I want someone savvy with the savings, not someone who's debt ridden. And I think sometimes there's a conception

that to have a nice life, you must be rich. But I grew up in a family that was very, very, very, very, very not rich. But my parents were really good at saving. So we didn't get a huge vacation every year, but every like five or six years, we would go on a kind of nice vacation, you know? So I was like, someone who can save, well, blah, blah, blah.

That's what I'm looking for. So this matchmaker goes out looking and she finds zero men for me. None whatsoever. Three months. I check in with her once a month. She's like, I almost found someone, but it didn't work out.

He was not right for you. And I was like, what does that mean? So she's looking and she's looking. And then one day out of the blue, this was like August of 2021, I get a call out of the blue from this matchmaking service and like from a woman. And she's just like, hi, I'm calling from the matchmaking service. And I have seen we haven't matched you and I'd like to offer you a special opportunity. And I was like, sounds like a scam. I'm going to call. Let's find out. And they upgraded me to VIP because they felt so bad that they hadn't found me a match yet. They were like, we've looked at you. We've seen the things you do. You seem very matchable.

We're really upset. We haven't found someone. you do. You seem very matchable. We're really upset. We haven't found someone. So we want to upgrade you to VIP. And VIP, there's like basically a headhunter. Like you are a business and they're going like on LinkedIn and shit to find men for you. So VIP is $2,500 a date. But I didn't have to pay that. I didn't have to pay it. I didn't have to pay it.

I didn't have to pay it. I asked them. I said, well, what does that cost? Like literally the woman gave me the spiel and I was like, what does that cost? And she's like, it's not about the money. I was like, what does it cost? And then she was like, well, for you,

since you've been in our system so long, we're going to upgrade your two remaining dates for free. That's nice. And okay, can you tell me about the first three dates you've gone on yeah yeah with the matchmaker the first three were good and i knew why not to interrupt i'm so interested in this so yeah these men know they're being set up by a matchmaker yeah and. And they have not signed up for it. They've just met this woman or person in the wild. Yeah.

Oh my God, this is such a treat. Oh my God. Get into it. Tell me. It's literally amazing because my least, absolute least favorite part of dating in modern America

is the swiping. I hate it so much. I don't like judging men. Yeah, really? It's a physical thing. Yeah, it's a physical thing. My fingies. My fingies get tight.

I'm like, oh, this phone is so heavy. Oh, so heavy. I gotta put it down. I get it. You don't like judging the physical. I just hate it. And I don't like, oh, they left out a comma. Are they dumb?

Like, I'm just like, I hate how quickly you have to make a decision. And yeah, I just hate it. And I don't like being judged. And I don't like the men who think they can get me. All of it is just bad. And I hate it. And I was like, I need to take that part of it out. Because I'm not, I think I'm kind of good on a date.

Like, I'm kind of a fun hang. Like, I'm fine. It's like a general industry talk. But like. It's like a general. Like industry talk. But like it's like a meeting. It absolutely is. Where are you from? How many siblings do you have? What are you looking for in life?

What do you like to write? I'm great at generals too. That's why. Like I'm very good at a first date. And then like three to four dates in they're like, oh God, she's a lot. I better get out of here. I'm what I like to call a monster. So prepare yourself for this energy.

I am how you say mentally ill. First date, real cute though. So the first three dates, the first matchmaker I had was very, very sweet. I think her name is Gina. She was really, really sweet. And the first date she sent me, I was a little confused about what I wanted

because I had been like out of a break, like a year and a half or maybe two years even out of a breakup. And it had my like, you know, wild, I don't know, I don't care about anything, hookups and flings and stuff. But I was like, I'm ready for a relationship again. And I was like, I don't know what I want. I really like blue collar guys. I really like guys who work with their hands. And she sent me on a date with a guy like that and who initially I liked. But on the date, he like checked out other women the entire time.

Wait, I've heard of that. It's never happened with me. So like, what does that like? Does that mean he's speaking to you and then just like looking away? Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Up and down to other women while talking.

It's a tick. I think, I don't think he's doing it to be rude. I think he doesn't know he does it. Because he's literally in conversation, but his eyes navigate breasts, thighs, hips, ass, feet, shoes. Like he's just looking at women all night. And I was like, oh, this is odd. And then he also,

he was like a blue collar guy, but then he also had like a lot of side hustles. And he used the word hustle, like this is my hustle. I have this hustle and this hustle. And he was a member of Toastmasters, like the speech club. Do you know Toastmasters?

It's like an organization where people gather to practice giving speeches and then they get awards and give speeches across the United States. What? I don't know what this group is, but I think they give speeches at like Rotary Clubs or something. Toastmasters International, a nonprofit educational organization that operates clubs worldwide for the purpose of promoting communication, speaking and leadership yeah founded by ralph c smeedley yeah what yeah and they make

34 million dollars a year because they are hired out what is this they're hired out to like give speeches to people so that was one of his hustles. And then he also like, I don't know. He had a lot of hustles. Oh my God. I know that this is a audio medium, but if you are listening, www.toastmasters.org, you have got to see the covers of these magazines they have.

Bobby Blackman is unstoppable celebrating women around the world. I, the, wait, this is, I will be researching this later. Ah, this is, and I'll just say this is not an ad for Toastmasters because this guy was a ludicrous man. So I want to know, Toastmasters, are you letting in, like, anyone?

Because this dude was very ludicrous. And then even with that, even with the checking out the women and he had seven different types of hustles that were not jobs, but hustles. I was still kind of like, you're cute, you're tall. We have a good conversation. Can I forgive these things? And then at the end of the date, he said, oh, I'm going to visit my daughter. And I was like, okay, where is she? And he's like, she's in San Francisco

and by the way the whole time he talked about how the lifestyle he lives of all his hustling he can live anywhere he can live anywhere in the world doesn't matter he can do anything and he's like my daughter lives in San Francisco and I was like oh why don't you live where your daughter lives

and he goes yeah I just like the LA vibe and I was like ooh bad dad like my brain was like this man is a bad dad and I was like how old is your daughter and he said three and I'm like wait if she was like

15 I'd be like oh okay yeah live wherever you know you're part time but three? that bitch don't remember you from weekend to weekend. Yeah. I'm like, you have the option to live anywhere and you're choosing not to live where your daughter lives.

Yikes. So it gave me like a weird vibe. But again, I'm a very forgiving person. So I'm not even done yet. And he's tall. So like, you know, I'm in it to win it. And he was tall. Yeah, there was some muscles.

And also he was looking at other ladies, but also looking at me. So sometimes I felt special. But the thing that did it was I was talking to a group of girlfriends like later that week and was like telling them about this date and how he had a secret daughter. And one of my friends was like, was his name da-da-da? And I was like, yeah. And she goes my friends was like, was his name? And I was like, yeah. And she goes, yeah,

I know. That's what did it. That's what did it. She knew him in an intimate way and confirmed all the things I had said and that his hustles were not jobs. And he was often between jobs and he often was not working with his hands or at all. And he did avoid his daughter. And I was like, oh.

And then I really was like, wow. My bar was so low because I was just happy to be back out and dating. And this matchmaker found this guy who seemed to like check. He checked a lot of boxes until he started to talk. And I was like, but once I got that confirmation from my friend, I was like, oh, this has to end. And so I went back to the matchmaker. Here's the best part, though. There's no that you're not part of the matchmaking rule, at least for this company, is you don't exchange information on the first date.

You have to go through the matchmaker. Okay, I like that. So this person does not have your information. No, no, no, no, no. He do not. So all I had to do was tell the matchmaker here is why this was not a match. And she's like, got it. And then you know what else she did? She went to him and asked him about the things I said were problems was like, why were you checking out other? She said you're checking out other women on the date. What's that about? And she said, you have a daughter in another city. Why didn't you mention that sooner? So she did the follow-up for me.

And then she came back to me and said, he said, Nicole, you're not going to believe this. That she said that he said he wasn't checking out other women. He's former military and is constantly scanning for safety. And she said, I think you're right. This is not a match. I apologize.

What a dream. Scanning for safety in the bras and skirts of other women. I'm always scanning for safety. Yeah. I'm trying to keep you safe. You don't want to be safe, love. Send him my way. I love him. What a full blown Looney Tune. I love

that. How wild. Truly what a treat. My God. It was a great date in the end. Yeah, because of the story. Second date. Oh, yeah. So, second date was, oh, yeah. this guy was actually nice. He was really sweet.

He was really cute. And he was recently divorced, though. And we met up at a bar on the west side. And I was like, I'm driving to the west side for this man? But he sounded really great. And then, but I could tell he was tired. And he was like, I just flew in this morning and I'm actually flying out again tomorrow for work. He worked at like pharmaceuticals or something. And I was like, this is a lot of flights. But he was like, I recently moved to LA because my wife,

my ex-wife and my daughter moved here. And I was like, oh, a present dad. Yes. I was like, already the matchmaker's listening to me. I want a man who loves his kids. And he was like already the matchmaker is listening to me I want a man who loves his kids and he was like I moved here I love LA but I travel a lot for work and I was like that's fine I travel too at the end of the night he kissed me and he said I want your number and I was like I'm not supposed to exchange

numbers and he's like but I want to see you again and I was like I'll think about it I was trying to follow the rules so I left contacted through the matchmaker. She said, he rated you five stars across the board. Y'all should hang out again. And I did say, he talked about his ex-wife a lot. Are you sure that he's available to date?

Like emotionally available. And she was like, I checked and he said he is happy to start dating. And he felt that the vibe was such that he felt comfortable talking in that way. Oh, okay. I was like, oh, this is nice. So then we exchanged numbers, texted each other for about three weeks, and he constantly was unavailable to get together. And after about three weeks, I said, let me know when you are free.

And it never occurred. Oh, no. Yeah. He was great, too. He was real cute. He wasn't that tall. Oh. So every now and then I don't like a tall man.

A short king. He was a short king. He was a mid-sized king. Oh, okay. Yeah. He was real cute. And yeah, I just, I really liked the guy. And I was so sad that he kind of ghosted me.

Sounds as such he was not ready to date again. Yeah. He literally was like, yeah, and my ex-wife this and my ex-wife that. And we're trying to co-parent. And I was just like, when did you get divorced? And he was like, seven months ago. And I was like, that feels recent. Have you been in a relationship since then?

He's like, I've been dating, but I feel ready to date because my ex-wife said. And I was like, oh. So there were some like ex-wifey red flags. But he said they had been separated for three years and the divorce just became final seven months ago so i was like okay feels yeah but like normal being separated is one thing because you're still like clinging to that marriage like maybe you know whatever you're right and then like divorce is like oh it's final and then some people do stay friends with their exes, which is,

I don't know, sometimes healthy, sometimes not. I don't know. I'm not a friends with exes type of person. Like, why would I want to laugh over French fries with someone who's had their face in my vag? I'm just sort of like,

I don't want that. Yeah, but when you're dating, you're laughing over French fries. Yes, but it's like later tonight after these french fries, you're going to put your face in my face. Yeah, it's like wink, wink.

You're going to eat that fucking pussy again. Exactly. It feels like a nice little like prequel to the, you know, the fun times. But like if there are no fun times after this laughter, I don't really. I got other people I can laugh with. Yeah, I guess. But also I feel like, like i mean lately with dating i've been trying to be like would i be friends with this person if we weren't fucking which i think is like kind of important that i've been realizing that's a good question oh nicole you

just that's a really good like do i want to hang out with you if we happen to not fuck today? Well, that's interesting because I'm of the mind sometimes that I'm like, I don't need to have the same hobbies or interests as my partner because I do shit with my girlfriends. Like, if we like, if I like, you know, walks or whatever the fuck, like I can do that with a girlfriend. So sometimes I like when a guy has completely different interests than me. And I'm like, but the thing we have in common is that we both like each other's bodies. Yeah. But like, sometimes you're going to want them to go on a walk with you. That's true. Do you know what I mean? Like sometimes

it's nice to be like, oh, well, I have friend time, man time, friend man time. And then something I'm interested in that my man's going to do with me or my person. Yeah. I think I do think long term that does make sense. And I, it's something that I turn over a lot because I think I don't like, I don't like a lot of things like stereotypical things that guys like. I know I hate sports. I hate anime. I like, I'm like guys. And I know that's being really reductive, but I'm also like, okay, you can like those things, but do you like wine? Hey, we have that in common. That's good. Do you like a long walk? Okay. We have that in common. That's good. Do you like a long walk? Okay. We got that in common. That's good. So I kind of like give more credit to the

small things we have in common, even if big hobbies we don't. I mean, that makes sense. Real quick, Amy, we have to take a break. break! What?! We're back. We're back from the break. Okay, Amy, your parents had an arranged marriage? Yeah, they did. And they've been together

for over 35 years? Yeah, I mean, in the 1980s when they got married. So now it's 41. Damn. Right? Right. So would you ever do an arranged marriage?

Girl, I've thought about it. I've thought about it. Because there's something, it's a very Western concept to fall in love. Like that love is something that happens to you, catches you when you're unaware, like, oops, I wasn't looking. You find it when you're not looking. Like all of that is just very like storybook Cinderella bullshit. And there's something that's really beautiful, I think, about being intentional about partnership rather than romantic love to start. Like my parents love each other, but when they met,

they didn't know anything about each other. You know, it's just their families are like, you guys check these boxes and are from a similar place. You should get married. And I think when you start, and this is, I'm painting with a really broad brush. Like I think there are lots of arranged marriages

that don't end up well. Like I have a friend whose parents also had an arranged marriage, and it was terrible. But for my parents, you start from a place of knowing that the relationship takes work. Whereas I think very often when we're so focused on falling in love, when things start to go wrong, we're like, well, I didn't sign up for this. I signed up for the butterflies. I didn't sign up for the hard work. And then you leave.

But I'm like, relationships take work. And I saw my parents do that work for so much of my childhood. And they love each other so much that it's like, kind of annoying. But yeah, it kind of, I won't say that it gave me like a really strong foundation of how to date or anything, because I think children of like bad divorce and children of perfect relationships both are kind of fucked up about how they think about unions. Because they're like, well, this is all I saw, so this is how it works kind of thing. So I had a very Disney, I'll find a man, we'll lock eyes, we'll become married. And then, you know, three kids and a fence and a picket fence, you know. Three kids and a fence. Yeah. Just one side of a fence and a picket fence, you know. Three kids and a fence. Yeah.

Just one side of a fence. I watched this TED Talk. I may have mentioned it on this podcast before. I don't fucking remember. But the person was like, love isn't real. Love is just you searching for what you think love is. And what you think love is, is the way you were treated as a child. Yeah.

And you're just looking for trauma. And I was like, oh, my God, this is fucking depressing. Ain't that a read? There is something to like, this is what I saw. This is what my parents did. So that's what I'm looking for. Or if you grew up watching TV, you're like, I'm looking for what's happening on the TV.

It is true. I think we get really accustomed, like you're looking for what's happening on the TV. Mm-hmm. It is true. I think we get really accustomed. Like, you're attracted to what's familiar, not necessarily what's good for you. So I think whatever you grew up with sometimes does lay the foundation to how you think about romance and love in general. But for me, even the concept of, like, love takes work means that I've stayed in and tried too long with relationships I shouldn't have. Because I'm like, but it takes work.

So I'm here working. And then the guy's like, I'm done. And so I've ended up in situations where I was committed to a lifetime of work. And they were like, but I need it to be good right now. You know? And I think that it didn't align. So I feel sometimes that having more space for the romance of it all and being like, oh, it shouldn't be hard now. This should not be hard. This conversation shouldn't, it shouldn't all be work.

There's got to be good too. Because my parents have a lot of fun together too. They make each other laugh. They're each other's best friend. And I'm like, I need to remember that as well, that they like each other. It shouldn't all be worse. And there is something to liking the person that you date because I have dated men who have hated me. I've also dated men who I was like convincing myself that I liked them when I didn't like them at all.

Yeah, I've done that. I've done a lot of that. You know? You're just digmatized. A lot of like, he's fine. He's fine. He'll change. It's depressing. Dating is so fucking depressing.

It is. It's now, right? Like, I think it's not just the app dating, but it's also pandemic dating. It's everything. It's really, right? Like, I think it's not just the app dating, but it's also pandemic dating. It's also, it's really fucking depressing. And I hate people. This might be you listening. End of sentence.

Yeah, I hate people. Fuck them. No, I hate people who find love easy, who connect with people easy, who don't seem to have like boundaries or walls who are just open books. It like makes me mad it really fucking grates my goat i don't fucking know the phrase but it makes me so mad that like

people bop around in relation like i don't like people who are constantly in relationships i'm like what kind of magical pussy do you have like what is it is it? How do I get it? No, no. Or are your standards mega low? Or like, are you, I don't know. Like, cause sometimes when people are constantly in relationships, I'm just like, are you like secretly like a doormat? Like you're just like, whatever you want. What is it? Yeah.

Cause it's different if you're like, you found someone and you're married and you've been together a long time, but you have that friend who's like always in like a one year relationship. I'm like, what's going on? and you've been together a long time, but you have that friend who's like always in like a one-year relationship. I'm like, what's going on? That to me, I'm not necessarily jealous of. Because I'm like, what's that about? Like they ain't staying, you're not staying, but you catching them. So what's that about?

I get curious. I'm jealous. I want it. I want it. Because I've never been in a fucking relationship. I mean, I get it. I want it. Because I've never been in a fucking relationship. I mean, I get it. It was forever until I was in one and then it was bad. So I'm just sort of like. How long were you in your relationship? Well, I've been in a couple relationships and the most recent one that was long was two and a half years. Yeah, that's a long fucking time.

one that was long was two and a half years yeah that's a long fucking time yeah yeah it was long and it was and you know i think not long in the broad spectrum of life but i think we like moved in together we live together so that's i think when you cross that boundary it feels like when you break up it's like oh no you know um do you mind getting into a little bit of what it's like to break up with someone that you live with? Because I can't fathom that. That seems hard. Yeah, it sucks. It was terrible.

I had a particularly bad breakup in that, like, you know, like I said, I'm committed to work and, like, seeing a relationship, like, through. I'm very, like, it's going to get,. I'm very like, it's going to, I love this person. So it's going to get better. And this person, I think, recognized that in me and therefore like sat me down and was like, I have rented another apartment and I'm moving out in a week. I did not see. Yeah, it was bad.

It was bad. I did not see it coming. I did not see. Yeah, it was bad. It was bad. I did not see it coming. I did not see it coming. And here's what I'll say, because I never like it when people are like, my ex was a terrible person, even though that was a terrible thing that he did. I do also think that my self-esteem, I'm still working on my self-esteem, and I had extremely low self-esteem. And so was not, I wasn't, like, I was the doormat. So I think that's why I see

people being doormats all the time. I'm like, are you a doormat? Why is this person here in your life? And they're loud talking over you. Are you a doormat? Because I was that. And so I was just kind of the shallow, like hollow shell of myself in this relationship. I wasn't myself. And really like negotiating everything I ever said to him and all these things. So it wasn't a this relationship. I wasn't myself. And really negotiating everything I ever said to him and all these things. So it wasn't a good relationship. Even though I thought it was. And so when he did that,

he moved out while I was at work. I came home from work and the dining table was gone. I came home another day from work. All his clothes were gone. I came home another day from work. It was traumatic. Nicole, it was traumatic. Oh my God. It's like he's being raptured. Yeah. It was really terrible. And it was so awful. I mean, it got me back into therapy, which is great because I was definitely like, I remember I had talked to a therapist like a month before and I

was like, I don't know. I feel okay. Like I might see you like once a month or something, like just, you know, some check-in sessions and maybe my boo and I will come in someday, whatever. And then when this happened, I was like, hey, I'd like to see you Sunday and this is what we're discussing. Why am I someone that this happened to? You know, I was just like, what's wrong with me?

And what I found out through the help of my very lovely lady therapist was that I have a tendency to round up on people and round down on myself. So I tend to think like I'm a piece of shit and everyone I talk to is incredible. And so I'm always like, you're so amazing. How are you even with me? Because I'm a bundle of horseshit. So I'm so lucky to have you. So I just have this like, oh, thank you. Thank you for liking me kind of thing. So the moving out after this guy moved out, just to go back to that part of it, after

he moved out, we had some mutual friends and he had left a few things at the house. So I just packed them in a bag and gave it to a friend and was like, you can give this to him. But I was destroyed for a good like three, four months. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, thank you. I was that girl at a wedding who someone's like, aren't they so beautiful? I was like, I don't know. Not if he leaves her because that could happen too.

Like just drinking way too much. And like, I looked fantastic at every event because I was so thin from crying and only drinking wine. I was just like, oh, it was, it was a bad summer for Amy. It was so bad.

But then therapy kicked in and I was like, it was a sad girl summer. It was a sad girl summer. I can't believe the whole like, like just moving out while you're at work i know that's fucked up it was bad it was bad news fuck him whatever okay fair enough i mean i don't i don't care enough to feel it anymore this i love she is healed and she has moved on. Literally, and that's what's great. That's the power of therapy.

Like literally, I'm like, I can talk, I can have, there's pain around what happened. I'm not like, I never felt it, you know? But I'm also sort of like, at the end of the day, he did me a favor. Sure. Because if that's how he treats his partner, we should not be together. You know? So I'm like, oh, this is, at the end of the day, I'm like, I'm better off not in that situation. And I'm still trying to find exactly who I am in a relationship because I've had so few opportunities to practice.

That that's what I'm excited about now and going on dates now is like oh I get to practice um what I'm like past date three um which is nice because you are a different person in the beginning you're putting your best foot forward you're on your best behavior you're like I shan't show you anything toxic that I do exactly yeah you don't You don't want to. So, but yeah, I've had a few relationships since then and enjoyed. One thing I did learn was like, oh, you never going on the gram. I made that mistake. I'm like, never again. Wait, never doing what? Oh, going on the gram. Like when, cause I thought, you know, at the time I was like, oh, this is super serious. So he was like on my socials and stuff and then I had to take him down and then friends are like hey

where'd so and so go and I'm like I hate this part of this you have to like announce your breakup to people and so now every relationship I've had since that I'm just like we are lovers and secrets I mean yeah I can't imagine

putting a dude up on my public instagram a mistake like especially because i host a dating podcast so like yeah no don't do that people would just be like who are they and get all up in their business and it's like depending on who who i end up with, they probably didn't ask to be investigated. Yeah, yeah. I would like, literally, Nicole, if you posted a guy on your Instagram, I would follow him.

I would just be like, well, he's my friend now. He's my friend now. That's my friend. I need to know what he's up to. Is he eating soup? It's funny. I once posted a picture

of my very gay friend, Evan, and people were like is this your man is this him and i was like y'all i know you're rooting for me is very very kind it is very kind i'm not i mean i think i i don't even i don't know i don't know how i'd handle being in a relationship who knows i guess i won't know till it fucking happens to me oh no it's true you don't know how i'd handle being in a relationship who knows i guess i won't know till it fucking happens to me oh no it's true you don't know you don't know what latent parts of you are gonna pop out when someone is staring at you saying they love you you don't know what parts of you are actually going to go lower like diminish when you feel like it that's the thing i'm always like oh you're there's a version of you that you haven't met until you're in and also that version of you could change i love knowing

that there's like a fucking different version of me out there just like waiting to appear to be like this is me and i have a boyfriend. A little Gemini. Oh, boy. I'm on Raya. Oh, yeah. Tell me about your dating apps. Tell me about Raya. I heard, what's his face?

Chandler from Friends is on Raya. Is he? I have yet to see him on there. But I got a, so this nice man on raya an app where we're all supposed to just be cool and that maybe we maybe you know somebody from something but you just be cool this nice person said i know it's probably not cool to say on your, but I'm a big fan. And I was like, great. They didn't say anything else. So I'm like, that's it.

You just wanted to say that you're a big fan and I'm not sure. And I've talked about this before on earlier episodes, this podcast years and years and years ago, but, and probably recently, but I just, you're a match with me to tell me like, good job. I don't know.

I want you to fuck me. I want to get deep dicked i want my back blown out i want to go to the moon i want to be twist and turn like a little make me your fucking puppet put your hand up inside me uh yeah don't tell me you're a big fan no don't tell me unless you're hitting on me yeah it's also like that's my whole thing about friends with exes or friends with other people like don't i'm not i'm not here to make friends like when someone's like yeah you know i don't feel a connection but i'd love to hang i'm like no i'm not here for that i don't want that at all

uh this other person said i'm trying to think if i should make a wipeout joke to start us off now i have a feeling it might land me in the water. Oh, so you made one is what you chose to do. Yeah. So he said, I'm not going to do it. I can't help myself. I got to do it. And, you know, here we are. Isn't Raya supposed to be the app for people who, like, understand that the entertainment industry is a job?

Yes. Like, that are like, we're not, we're not we're not like a star struck isn't that the point but much like the delta lounge they're letting any old people in i thought we liked it i'm kidding um i was truly just the delta lounge and this man in this cowboy hat was like they're making it easier for any old person to come in here and it made me laugh this cowboy hat was like, they're making it easier for any old person to come in here. And it made me laugh so hard. I was like, sir, you're eating powdered eggs. Like, you're fine. You're fine. Okay. Yeah. What are you upset about? Seems like you should be happy you are here. I don't know. I feel, I mean, I've lamented about this before, but I do think at the core, dating in LA specifically for me as a black woman who's also fat is really hard

because it's like, I don't look like a beautiful, like I know I'm beautiful. I'm not saying I'm not. I was like, yeah, no, no, no. I'm just not traditionally beautiful. And I refuse to change who I am for somebody. So I guess I just got to wait for that person to be like, hey, I like how messy you are.

Your wig that you never wash, that's okay. Smells great. The makeup all over your pillows, that's fine. I'm into it. Those contact lenses you've left on your nightstand for three weeks that are now shriveled and broke because you touched them, that's okay. You'll throw it out soon, one day. You know what I say sometimes? You know what I literally say?

Because I use Jamaican castor oil in my hair, and it's yellow. So it gets on my pillows, so all of my pillows are yellow. Like, I take the pillowcase off, it's a yellow pillow. And I'm just like, this looks gross. So sometimes when gross shit like that is cropping up around my house that I'm like, this is not presentable for the world.

I'll be like, one day there'll be a man and he's gonna love this. He's gonna say, there's Amy's yellow pillow. It's one of the many things I love about her. So somewhere, and I hate it when people are like, oh, you need this one. It might not be one. It might be a few different guys at different times in different iterations. But somewhere there's a guy who's like, oh, there's Nicole's crusty little eye-seeing devices. What are they called? Contact lenses. I forget the word not eye seeing devices

but there's a little crusties oh my girl and i'm waiting for it i think i have to take another break and we back um so okay amy you're very very very successful what you can delete one of those no i'm gonna add another very do you think the manses have been intimidated by your success uh yeah i think well as black women we are the highest earners and most educated like group of people in america we're the highest earners yeah black women yeah most educated yeah most educated and in comparison to their partners highest earners somebody fact check that am i talking out my ass? But I do think- I think you are, because aren't women paid less than the men?

We are, but in relation to our partners. So it means like black men versus black women, black women earn more than white women versus white men or something like that. Oh, interesting. I don't know if that stat is correct, but the other stat is we are the most educated and the most single. Yes, that I know. And know if that stat is correct, but the other stat is we are the most educated and the most single.

Yes, that I know. And on every dating app across America, we're at the low, like we're the least desirable. Yeah, us and Asian men. Yeah, exactly. Which is why I'm like Asian King, come here. Come through. I love an Asian man.

Same. And yeah, if we're at the bottom, let's pair up. Let's both be bottoms together. I'll be the power bottom. Butt to butt. it'll be cute but yeah i i actually encounter a thing when i'm dating uh i call it the lean back oh and it's when a guy figures out what i do and he and he goes oh and he leans back it happens on every date it happens on every day it's gonna happen and then sometimes they lean back forward and they're back but there's a moment where they're like oh she's like working working or like oh she just because in LA a lot of people this is a city where people move to pursue their dreams yes and it's really weird to be like

hey i came here to pursue a dream and it and i'm doing it i'm doing the thing i came here to do la is a city where everyone is living on the hope for a deferred dream coming true yes so very often you're dating people who are like even successful people who are like i work at you know uh fucking google but i want to create a startup you know it, it's like I work at this fintech company, but my real passion is paint, you know? And I'm like, yeah, I wanted to be a writer and I'm a writer. And so when they realize that or they realize like where you worked or that you've been on TV or whatever,

there's a moment where they go, oh, and they lean back. And I'm like, there it is. That sucks go oh and they lean back and i'm like there it is that sucks yeah they leaned back but don't you don't feel that way you don't feel like that happens to you sometimes men like to make me feel like it doesn't matter what i do usually they'll be like i know you're a comedian just so you know and I go okay and they're like and you like host whatever but whatever and I go oh cool thank you oh well I don't know if I like that either we're gonna call that the eye roll it's not nice I don't like the eye roll or the lean back but neither of them are nice I mean it would be nice if somebody I did go

on a date with somebody once who I asked them what they did. They told me what they did. And then they were like, what do you do? And I was like, oh, I'm a comedian, like an actress. And I host this show. And they're like, oh, that's cool. I don't think I've seen it, but it sounds really fun. Do you want to tell me about it? And then I like told them about it. And that's great. It was like one of the nicest dates i'd been on yeah they were such a quiet person but it was nice it was nice and one of the only dates where they asked about me in a way that they seemed like they were interested and then on the second date remembered I can't. This is wild to me. That's amazing.

It's wild. Wait, Amy. Okay, so we do have to wrap it up at some point, but I do want to ask you about this. So you went on a date with a guy who wouldn't let you send back your meal after you found a hair in it? Oh, wait, what? Wait, who told you that story?

Yes, that did happen before. I've done a little research on you, and by I, I mean what? Wait, who told you that story? Yes, that did happen before. I've done a little research on you. And by I, I mean my new assistant, who's really wonderful. And I like her better than my last one who stole from me. Yay. I'm so glad you like your new one. I'm so sorry that other one stole from me. It's okay.

You didn't make her do it. She did it on her own accord. The devil did. I don't know if the devil made her do it because I think she is the devil. Fair. Yeah. So she did it on her own accord. The devil did. I don't know if the devil made her do it because I think she is the devil. Fair. Yeah. She did it. She did it on her own accord.

I shouldn't say she's the devil. She just really, really rocked my world. Yeah. Yeah. In a bad way. Anywho, so I have my current assistant who I love. She did some dirt digging on you. So who is this man? And why wouldn't he let you send

your meal back? The thing is, I think some people, for me, when I go to a restaurant, I love going out to eat. And when I go to a restaurant, I'm like, someone is doing a thing they love and giving me food. Um, like the chef, maybe not the line cook, but the chef is like, I made a menu, you know, they wanted to do it. And doing a thing that I cannot do. And when you pay for a service, you want to make sure that you're getting what you paid for. So my dad, growing up, like my dad was always like, if you don't like your food, you send it back. You know, you send it back.

This guy I went on a date with, and by the way, he ate French fries with his entire hand. Like as in, you know, like when you get a French fry, you can like take one and then eat it and take another one and eat it. He would do five fingers into the French fry basket, gather a bunch, let some slide out and then still have like four left in his entire hand and then eat them. So his eating habits were odd. I was like, I don't like the look of that. But here we are on this date. I would get along with him. I rip my food apart and it grosses some people out.

Well, we can get back to that because I actually am okay with aggressively eating. It's that it was shared fries and he touched them all. To me, I was like, this is too much hand in my fries. So I actually like being hungry and eating like you're hungry. I'm not a bird eater on a date. So, but that same guy, salad arrives. And it was like a balsamic dressing, like drippy as fuck. And then there's, I just go and I take my fork and I just see the longest brown hair. And I was like, oh no, I got to send this back.

And he goes, no, don't send it back. They worked hard on that. They worked hard on that? Yeah, they put their blood, sweat, and tears and hair in there. I was like, wait, why not? And he was like, well, it's just a hair. You can take it out. And I was like, but it's

touched the goopy dressing, which means it's been, you know, across every leaf. I got to send this back. And he was like, oh, no. Like, it just, I think it felt like confrontation to him. And to me, sending back food is not confrontation. One of my favorite things is when I'm on a date with somebody and they complain about their food and I don't even ask.

I ask, well, I go, what's wrong with it? And they tell me, and when the server comes back ask I ask well I go what's wrong with it and they tell me and when the server comes back I go this is what's wrong with his food can we get another one or like what can we do can you get something else and then I watch their reaction and sometimes it's just like oh god this has to end or sometimes you're like yeah and then you're like you make a decision right then. Yeah. You're going to stick around a while. But I will say if I make the mistake, like if I ordered something that I isn't as great as I thought it would be, I just keep it. Like if I was like, uh, yeah, I want salmon and the salmon comes and I was like, Ooh, I actually wasn't in a salmon mood. Why did I get salmon?

I'm not going to send that back. It's if there's a mistake. I went to a Michelin star restaurant. I think you've heard of it. Applebee's. And I had ordered chicken finger mac and cheese. And it was not good. It was honey chicken mac and cheese. And I said, Applebee's, what are you doing to me? And then also we had eaten a bunch of cheetos dusted uh fucking little boneless

chicken thing it was a it was a meal to remember but i looked at the server after eating six bites i was like sir i'm sorry i cannot eat any more of this please bring me a plain hamburger i get that i need to enjoy my life i will send it back goodbye goodbye i get that i get that. I need to enjoy my life. I will send it back. Goodbye. Goodbye. I get that. I get that. And yeah. Amy, we have come to the end.

I could talk to you for hours and hours and hours. I adore you. But this is a question I ask almost all of my guests. I went through a phase where I said I'm going to stop. But I'm back at it. Would you date me? Yes. Nicole, are you kidding? You're rich.

You own your own home. You're very successful. You know celebrities. I'm like, you're extremely desirable. And you're beautiful. And you like sex with men, which means we can just cuddle. I'm like, Nicole, let's date.

All right. Well, let's do it. Amy, thank you so much for being here and doing this. Is there anything that you would like to promote? Yes, I would like to promote the podcast The Antidote, which I started with my bestie, Grace Edwards. It's a podcast where you just talk about joy. Nicole introduced it at the top of the show. But we like to talk about the bummer news of the week, like things like Roe v. Wade.

And then we also talk about what our antidotes are, like long walks with our moms. So if you like feeling good about yourself, subscribe to The Antidote wherever you get your podcasts. I love that. Yeah, Robey, wait. That's a pretty, that's a bummer. Yeah. Yeah, it's a bummer. I just don't understand.

Anyway, let's not break it down at the end of the podcast. Let's stay up. So that's it for Why Won't You Date Me? If you like it, you can rate, you can review, you can subscribe. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me, I will read it. You can send it to Why Won't You Date Me? Uh-oh. What is it?

I think it's Why Won't You Date Me podcast at gmail.com. That's very long. I think. Okay, so here. I should know it. Okay, here's this message that this nice person wrote hi nicole i want to dress you up in a clown costume clown makeup and a big red nose and have sweaty i think they spelled sweaty wrong no they smell right sweaty passionate clown sex with you

i want you to lay on my bed take your big shoes off and let me lick your toes while you blow up condoms and turn them into balloon animals. Then I want to take, then I want to take your clown pants and clown underwear off. Why are they clown underwear and clown? Anyway, well, I'm imagining they're polka dotted like,

like big old polka dots. maybe. And start pulling several feet of colored scarves out of your klussy clown pussy once the scarves are out i want to fuck your klussy with a rubber chicken as you honk your big red nose in time with my thrusts i want you to do a wild clown laugh and spray me with the squirt gun flower while you simultaneously squirt out of your klissy i want your klissy so bad it hurts this was a experience that this person is going through that was fun i'm. And I think I'm here for it. Yeah. Of all the kinks, that's a pretty fun one.

Yeah, a little clown kink. I think I'm here for it. Yeah, there's comedy. Yeah. All right. Well, that's it. Bye-bye. Bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye.

That's it for Why Won't You Date Me? With me, Nicole Byer. Why Won't You Date Me is produced and engineered by, oh, the sweetest woman I know, Marissa Melnick. It is executive produced by other wonderful people, Adam Sachs, Joanna Solotaroff, and Jeff Ross. Thanks for listening. I love you. Thank you so much. We'll be seeing you next Friday with a brand new episode.

What a dream. What a dream. This has been a Team Coco production.