Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Ho Ho Ho, Sonic is Here! A Sonic The Hedgehog Holiday Special (w/ Ben Schwartz)

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

It’s an extra special holiday treat! Nicole Byer is joined by her friend, comedian, and actor Ben Schwartz to talk about the true love of her life — Sonic the Hedgehog. Nicole opens up to Ben about her deep, emotional connection to Sonic and why it’s not just a bit. Ben shares the unexpected journey of landing the role, the fan backlash to the original 'Ugly Sonic' design, and debunks some of the internet’s wildest Sonic fan theories. Nicole makes her formal pitch for how she’d like to join the Sonic universe herself. Plus, special guest call-in appearances with the voice of Tails, Colleen O'Shaughnessey, and Sonic artist and co-producer, Tyson Hesse. You don't want to miss this!WATCH this episode on YouTube at https://youtu.be/vveFneSDN4kSee Sonic The Hedgehog 3 in theatres today!Write to Nicole! Send your dirty messages to [e-mail] with the subject line "Dirty Message" and Nicole may read it in a future episode.Follow:YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746Sponsor:» Essie: Shop essie nail polish at Target.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ho, ho, ho! It's our holiday special with Ben Schwartz. This is a very special episode and it's even better with visuals. Watch it now on YouTube. The link is in the episode description. This is a HeadGum Podcast. You know there's like conspiracies about what Tika wears in the promos So apparently have you met Tika yet? Yes. Okay good. She's amazing. I had her on the podcast and I was like, let me in on this podcast Do you talk about Sonic with her? Yes. I've had James Marston Who is it? Okay. All right. Is it real? Or is it real life? Okay, who are you? Do you want to hear? Okay, I start with How do you usually start these?

Ooooo baby, welcome to another episode of why won't you date me a podcast or me Nicole Byer was trying to figure out why I was a single even though You could take me to a Sonic movie and leave me there. I wouldn't be worried about being abandoned. I'd be happy about it Wow To live in a theater where Sonic is playing 24-7. Oh Then I would die. Okay Here's the thing. Yeah. I genuinely love Sonic. We've talked about it a little bit, but I think it's like, yeah, you like Sonic, but

this is like a different... You've been playing it cool with me for years. Yeah. We have each other's phone numbers. I literally cried on stage with you when you did the voice. I was so excited. That's true. Okay.

How did it begin? Can we talk about how it began? So I played Sonic as a kid. What year was this, roughly? Are we 90s? It came out in 91. This is the 90s. I don't know what year though.

My aunt had a Sega and she didn't want it anymore, so she gave it to me and my sister. Sonic was one of the games she had. So I played Sonic in Aladdin. Oh, the best. And also the Genesis version is amazing. It's great. That's one of my favorite she had. So I played Sonic and Aladdin. Oh, the best. And also the Genesis version's amazing. It's great. That's one of my favorite games. He slides and shit.

It's wonderful. Heaven. And I just like Sonic and I liked Tails. Tails was so cute. The best. Have you ever met Colleen? No. Oh, we gotta get her on the thing.

We'll save it for the end. Maybe we'll try to get you to talk to Tails. Oh. I will usually take my phone away so I don't have it on me, but I'll, let's see. Who else do you want to talk? Who else I guess those the only real ones I can't like text Idris Elba. I don't have Idris Elba's phone number But that would be fun. I don't have a way to get in touch with him We don't want to waste this this early in the podcast no we can call her later, okay, but that would be oh my god

I'm on a truly I said it earlier, I'll say it again, I do feel like a Make-A-Wish kid, where they get to like one final hurrah before they go into the great beyond. My goodness. This is it. I can't wait. But okay, I saw the movie. The first one. The first one. I didn't see it in theaters.

I like truly sat in my living room. I was on the floor. I don't remember why. And I was like sobbing at parts. And I was like, oh my God, I'm Sonic. Now, why do you feel like you're Sonic? Because he was alone a little bit. Because he was alone and he goes too fast and he's like a little different. He is.

And I feel like I'm a little too much sometimes and I have ADHD. So I'm like going too fast. Very Sonic-icky, yeah. Yes, and then I was like, but then at the end he gets friends and people who accept him. Oh my God, am I gonna cry again? Can we have a cry video, like how many times you cry?

Tell me when it's legit crying though. That's legit, that's one. No, this is pretty legit. That's one, okay, that's one. I truly, wait, I need to do your intro. Do you want me to help you pick it up? I got it. Okay.

It's the holidays! Hahahaha! And I'm celebrating with a gift to myself! It's a special episode of the podcast featuring a Ben Schwartz who plays the titular character Sonic the Hedgehog. Ben's been in other things, but it doesn't matter to me. Of course not. This is Sonic all day. Okay, I have so many questions.

I will answer anything. Okay, was this offer only or did you audition? Oh my god, there's a real great story to it. Do you want to hear? Are you fucking... Yes! Yes, I want to hear! Okay, so... Man, should I... Oh, you know what I could show you?

What? Which is not allowed to come out, but I have on my phone. Illegally. But I don't paramount. The... Okay, I'm gonna tell you the whole story. Okay. I think you'll like it. It's a real underdog story.

Okay. Okay, so I had a meeting with it. It's a real underdog story. Okay. Okay, so I had a meeting with Tim Miller, who is the director of Deadpool. Yes. He owns this company, he's the head of Blur. Now, Blur Studios does a lot of great CG stuff they've done for video games, they did it for Shadow. Okay.

Jeff Fowler, the director of our movie, did a lot of the CG for one of the Shadow games. And so I was having a meeting with him about acting in something he was doing. And then I saw there was a Sonic figure on Jeff Fowler's desk. And I was like, oh my God, I love video games. I love Sonic.

And he's like, oh, you know what? The rights were with a studio and they let them lapse. And so we're trying to film a five minute piece to send to all the studios to see if anybody wants to make Sonic with us. And I said, well, if you need a voice, I do like Dewey and Leo. I do all these voices. If you ever need a voice, like I would love to do that. Here's what we'll keep that in mind. And then a couple of weeks later, like, so hey, we just need a voice for this. It doesn't mean you're going to be the person, but like, do you want to help us out just for this five minute short? And then I said, yeah, of course, I wanna be a part of this.

I would just, even to say that I was a part of this, whatever, I did the short, I shopped it around, Paramount bought it, and then I think they had a process of going to famous people, or very famous people, and then whatever the process ended, they kept going back to the test, and I improv'd a bunch in it, and I sang in it, and they kept going back, and they kept and I improv'd a bunch in it and I sang in it, and they kept going back and they kept loving it.

And people fought for me and they finally said, let's just fine, just let Ben. You think they make a wish for your thing. For me it was like, fine, just let Ben. I remember where I was, I was coming out of a podcast, I was walking in Burbank, and Jeff Fowler called me and said, you're gonna be Sonic. And I like did the opening credits from ER

when Eric Lasalle goes like that. I went on one knee. went on one knee and went. I was like so excited. I was so emotional and happy because like then, you know, whatever, so that was how I got the role. So I did something for free basically, just as a favor. They pitched it, they sold it. They probably went to big people and then they went.

I wonder who they went to. I want to, this press tour, I asked Jeff if we can have a drink and talk about it. But he's the nicest guy in the world. But that's it, so it wasn't offer, it was like, I did a favor, and they just kept coming back to it, like, this is kind of the voice. Wow. Isn't that crazy?

What a nice treat. I know, rarely does something like that work out. Okay, if there's another movie, I would like to be in it. Isn't that crazy? What a nice treat. I know. Rarely does something like that work out. Okay. If there's another movie, I would like to be in it. I told, for this third one, we were chatting about you. Really? Remember?

You emailed me and then I forwarded something to literally the producers of the whole movie. Oh God. I think every movie that we do, you should, do you want to be a voice or do you want to be a? Um, Amy Rose. If Amy Rose is ever in this franchise Amy Rose and then I would love her name Amy Rose I would love to be one of the biggest characters of the franchise You're not starting off as like a camera. You're like if you guys ever see me Rose I would love to be the voice of Amy Rose. That's what I want or what's the other one?

You want to be live-action talking to Sonic and something don't you want to be talking to Sonic? Maybe but Amy Rose would talk to Sonic. Of course, yeah. That would be her... You're asking me. She would be the buddy to Sonic. She'd be in the gang. I know, Idris Elba and then Nickel Vire.

Keanu Reeves, Idris Elba. Well, my name is in there, and Colleen's in there. So Colleen plays Tails. But Colleen is the original Tails, right? Colleen is Tails forever and forever. They can do... Yeah, that's great. That's like legacy. Okay, if Amy Rose ever happens in any of the future things, is there a different role you'd want to do?

Don't you want to be just on set? No. Isn't there one named Bat? Rouge? Bat Rouge? Rouge the Bat? Rouge the Bat? I want to be a sexy little cartoon. It's a very sexy character.

I could do it. Mmm, Sonic. Do you want ice cream? I don't know. cartoon. It's a very sexy character. I could do it. Mmm, Sonic. Do you want ice cream? I don't know. Wait, Nicole. Sonic's a child. I'm gonna say something nice about you.

We did a read for a show that was animated together, right? And we did a table read for a show that was animated. Oh, yes, yes, yes. And I was so impressed with how good your VO stuff was. I told you in the room, and then like five minutes later I texted you, it was like, I thought you were so good. And I think it's a crap, you can be a good actor, but sometimes you can't be a great VO artist,

but you're great at both. You were so good. And it was an episode of television that you carried the whole thing. Thank you. And you were amazing. That means a lot. The show, it's not out yet, but I'm like super proud of it.

And I really, I just love animation. Same. Cause you get to kind of go to a place that you don't get to go to in live action. Yeah. But okay, I would do a live action part in Sonic. Okay, if you can't be the titular character of one of the movies.

I would like to play a recurring lady who's just on the street who sees Sonic all the time, who's like, damn, that little blue boy. Make your pitch. Make your pitch to Jeff and Toby and Neil right now. Okay, Jeff, Toby, Neil. So Toby Arthur and Neil Moritz, who have produced all the Fast and the Furious movies? What? Put me in the Fast and the Furious!

I fucking love Vin Diesel! I love Vin Diesel so much. This, oh my God, they're just going so fast. Okay. And they're furious. They're so furious. Okay, oh my God, they're just going so fast. Okay. And they're furious. They're so furious. Right? Okay, so put me in the movie.

Do a real pitch, because you could clip this and send it to them. Okay, so I would love to be in the movie as a lady, just grocery shopping, and then Sonic blows past her and she goes, damn, what's that little blue guy? And he blows past her again, and she's like, damn, that little blue guy's fast. I gotta fight him.

God, this is a great pitch. I gotta say, these gloves are not comfortable. No, of course not. And your nails look amazing. Thank you. Boy, oh boy, that really, that hurt. So. It's a great pitch.

They're gonna see it. They will see it. I hope so. If you send me a link to that exact thing, we can get it to all three of those people. All I want, truly, I just wanna be a part of it. But it's so funny for you to go, can I play the biggest character and then go,

you know what, all I wanna do is be a part of it. Well, you gotta go big. You gotta go big. And then go home? Yeah, go big or go home. Yeah, okay. Yeah, and I didn't wanna go home, so I went big. You went big, I love it.

And then I said, let's scale it down, let's be real. Amy Rose is an incredible character. An incredible character. Listen, everybody's great in Sonic. The Knuckles mini-series, the six part event. Did you watch Pally? Are you fucking kidding? Of course I did.

I savored it. I watched it like an insane person. I watched 15 minutes at a time, so I wouldn't get through it too fast. But then I was like, what are you doing? You're friends with Pally, right? Yes. Okay, good. I texted him as I watched him,

with the things I liked best, and he was like, cool. Everyone's very kind to me. You gotta be. Look at you. Okay. You're a heart forward person. You love something. I do. I also watched Sonic with Sashir.

We were flying back. Sashir was also, again, we talked about that, I may not be allowed to Sonic with Sashir. We were flying back. Sashir was also, can we talk about that? I may not be allowed to talk about that TV show. Sashir was also in that episode. It was so good. She's great. And you guys get to do scenes together. And obviously you guys are very close in real life. But you were both, I remember literally making sure I went up to both of you.

I was like, that was awesome. You guys were awesome. Ben. It made me so happy. Thank you. I texted you, right? I must have. No, you did. You did. You were very very kind Sorry, you went with Sashir. Not about me. Okay. I'm very bad at talking about myself. So we'll be about you. No, it's okay I'll make you. Okay, so we were flying back from New York and

Sashir was like would you like to watch Sonic with me? And I was like, yes, please Does Sashir like Sonic or she just knows how much you love Sonic. I think she just knows how well no Okay I was like you have to watch Sonic and then she was like I'll get to it and then she like never got to it But then she watched it without me and then I like freaked out and she was like But you told me we can't watch your favorite things together because I don't like them as much I once famously made her watch the minion movie on a plane Oh great movie, but I wasn't watching I was watching her watch it and then she wasn't laughing when I laughed and then I got mad.

So she was- By the way, I know this is a dating podcast. I have friends that will put on certain films in front of people they're dating to see if they understand why it's funny. I remember there's a big group of my friends that are like, one of them was Wet Hot American Summer or like it's like those culty movies that are like,

if this person doesn't get it, I don't know how I'm gonna date this person. Yeah, I've done that. Anyway, sorry to bring it to what the show used to be about. Let's go back to signing. No, no, it's like those culty movies that are like, if this person doesn't get it, I don't know how I'm gonna date this person. Yeah, I've done that. Anyway, sorry to bring it to what the show used to be about. Let's go back to Sonic. No, no, it's okay. I once made a man I was dating watch Sonic and because we were prepping for Sonic 2

because I had to see the theaters. So we watched it, we were watching it and he fell asleep and I noticed he was sleeping so I paused it. And then he went home and then when he came back the next day I was like, we gotta pick it up. And he was like, oh, we didn't finish it? And I was like, no. And then when we saw it in theaters,

it was me and this 10-year-old having the time of our lives. It's the best. I will say the screenings, I've been to a couple screenings and I get to surprise people. And some of them, there are a bunch of kids there. And I like raced them around the movie theater and they were like so excited. We had the best time. It's also so funny when they're like,

and the voice of Sonic and this Jewish guy from the Bronx comes out and the kids are like, what's happening? What's going on? Wait, you're from the Bronx? I grew up in the top of the Bronx. Oh, I didn't know that. In the high school Riverdale.

I can't technically say the Bronx. There are people from the real southern Bronx will yell at me. But my parents are from the south Bronx. They're from 176 and Grand Ave. Here's a question. Sonic? About dating. Sure, well, let's see what you do. from the real Southern Bronx will yell at me. But my parents are from the South Bronx. They're from 176 and Grand Ave. Here's a question. Sonic?

About dating. Sure, wow, let's see what you do. So, when, okay, since Sonic has come out. I love how you pretend it's about dating, but it's really gonna be about Sonic. But have people like slipped in the DMs to be like, hey Sonic? I don't, first of all, nobody says hey Sonic

and then laughs like an anime character. That's never happened. Also, I'm not, I don't think I'm the type of person that people are like, oh my God, I can't wait to say something sexy to this guy on the DM. That's not, that's never been, that's never been really what I receive, I guess. Wait, really?

Like even when you're doing improv in New York? I mean, there'll be fans that are very like happy and stuff like that. But it's not like it's not like, hey, oh my God, Sonic, can you put can you talk in a high register for me? I don't think that's ever happened before. I have left over a thousand voice notes for adults and kids. Yeah, you've done one for me.

Great. Was it for something in particular? No, I think Milheiser asked you to do it. And then you sent it to Milheiser asked you to do it great And then you sent it to Milheiser and he sent it to me and I was so happy Anytime you want one maybe on your birthday you got one or something like that Whatever you need and also you could talk to Sonic today It'll be near the end of the podcast mm-hmm We're gonna get at least one more cry, and then you could and then you could talk to Sonic and ask whatever you want

Oh my god. Okay, just to clear things up, Sonic is a child, right? I think he's a child. The way I play him is like a very excitable kid that has so much energy. And in the games, he does it by running. But in the movie, he can't wait to say more and talk more and stuff like that. And he desperately in the first one really wanted to find family. He was by himself. He was lonely in that cave. He was really lonely in that cave.

So lonely, and that owl set him away. What's her name? Longclaw. She's R.I.P. Longclaw. Yeah, she's dead, right? The little guys got her? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could be like maybe in the, maybe in four, you could be a character that like, you see a dead owl and you go, Longclaw's dead! And then you see another dead owl

and you go, oh my god, there he is again! Oh my god, more Long again oh my god more long claws and just a lady who says what she sees what do you think she's doing? she's shopping or what do you think she's doing? she's grocery shopping she's got a bunch of apples in her bag she's in the produce aisle and then she drops all her apples and she's like more

and just by the time she picks up all of her he comes right back and she's like oh no not my apples that blue guy and you don't want to use your own voice? no and I want to use your own voice? No. You want to do that? And I want to be an old age makeup. I want to be an old lady. So you've already made a more expensive character.

No, no, I'll come fully dressed with my own makeup. How old? How old do you want to push? I would like to be 65. Oh, 65, okay. Well, I guess 65 is not that old now. Okay, so go harder. But I want to be like golden girls old.

Oh, I love this idea. Right? I love this. Just like old and just- Give me a comp. You want to look like who? I want to be like Golden Girls old. Oh, I love this idea. Just like old and just... Give me a comp. You want to look like who? I want to look like blank. Dionne Warwick. Now Dionne Warwick? She's definitely over 65. Yeah, okay, so maybe I don't understand age.

Let's get a... Can we Google how old Dionne Warwick is? I just saw... She's touring. I think I just saw her name at a venue. Everyone's touring. And that is an indication to me that the economy's gonna get worse. Because? Because everybody's touring.

Right. Jay Leno's touring. He has so much money. Also, I think somebody's after him. He fell down a hill. Did you see that? No. He fell down a hill.

What type of hill? A hill that blackened half of his face and broke his arm and he lost a fingernail No, and then last year he like broke a bunch of bones and then a car blew up. I was like sir These are funny happenings. I don't I don't think you're falling down hill. Well, we wish him well We were a little I wish Jay Leno well We wish that so many cars and we could clip this just in case you want to be on Jay Leno's garage We wish him well, we 100% wish him well.

Oh wait, so you're saying when you're with friends and doing improv, it's like more goofy fun, and then when you're doing stand-up, it's a representation of this is my stuff, this is what I want to say. And it is goofy and fun, but it's all derived from me. Yes, it is Nicole Byer coming on stage, and this is what you're getting. And the best times I have doing stand-up are when I'm kind of so tired, and I'm like, I simply don't know how I'm gonna get through this show.

And then something dumb happens on stage, and then I'm like, wow, I guess I'll do that for a little bit. But that's like the most fun when I'm out of my mind. Yeah, it is very, very fun. Anytime I'm tired, I do. I remember also like something bad will happen before a show, and when I'm on stage, you have to be in the moment,

so you can't think about it. And so, like, you just get to, like, live in that world, and I think when people come see our shows, that's a piece of, like, why they come. They get to be happy for an hour and a half or whatever. So I love that stuff. That's what I always say. I'm like, truly, the only reason why I perform is, like,

I get happy bringing other people happiness Yeah, and it's like if I can make a room full of people laugh for an hour like that's really nice Someone in an interview just asked me Why do you think you're here on earth and I was like, oh my god And I like interview or therapy. This was interview. Oh my god. My therapist made you love my therapist He's a hippie wonderful dude Oh, but I was like, I think I'm here to make people happy or make people laugh I think that's what I think that's part of the reason why I'm here

But I've never nobody's ever asked me before I've never thought about it, but it made me feel like Good like because what the things we do hopefully make other people happy. So how lucky are we that our jobs are like, you know? It is really cool if you think about it. It's like I never think about it. I get to just be funny and he he he ha ha ha. And then someone goes, here's some money. Crazy. Every time I drive onto a lot, I'm like, boy, oh boy, this never gets old.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see the huge doors and you see like that friend shot there or Clint Eastwood had a bunch of movies. And then when you go to the sound doors and you see like that friend shot there or Clint Eastwood had a bunch of movies there. And then when you go to the sound stages and you see like what's been shot there. It's the best. Like Ghost is one of my other favorite movies. Great movie. They shot, I think at Paramount. See, I think it's Paramount.

But I was like, I got to like go on that sound stage and I was like, oh my God, Patrick Swayze was here. The ghost of a ghost was there. A ghost of a ghost, oh my God. Can that be our new podcast, a ghost of a ghost? Ghost of a ghost, ooh. I love it. Would you haunt or no?

Haunt people? No, I do little surprises, fun little surprises. See, I don't think I'm gonna do any of that, I wanna sleep. You're just gonna go sleep the whole time? If I'm dead? What do you think happens when you die? God, what are we doing?

Look how you're dressed. Look how you're dressed. Look how you're dressed. I know, isn't it wild? What do you think happens when you die? I guess you do go to sleep, but like... Do you think, is there a heaven and hell for you or no? I don't know, because I do believe that like, spirits and stuff are with you.

Okay. And I do believe in ghosts, because I lived in an apartment where there was a ghost. Which city? Here in LA. Okay. I do believe in ghosts because I lived in an apartment where there was a ghost. Which city? Here in LA. Okay. The cabinets would just be open all the time.

No. And- You didn't have squeaky cabinets, they're just totally open? They would just be open. I never saw them open, but I would definitely close a cabinet and be like, I am making a point to close this cabinet.

And then I'd go into my room and come back and the cabinet would be open and I'd be alone. And I had a roommate at the time, but like... And then it was John Milheiser, and at one point, we were in the living room being very funny and we heard clapping inside the apartment. No! Not outside, and both of us were like very scared,

but then we made the choice to continue being funny, because we're like, I guess the ghost likes it. Wait, so did you ever find out if there's a story? Like, did someone die there? No, I don't know, but we had a friend who lived there before who also said there was a ghost. See, that's terrifying. And then I saw the ghost. He looked like Mr. Clean and he was standing.

I sound crazy. I sound crazy and I look crazy. I see ghosts all the time. So you saw a bald man. A bald man's like standing in the living room with his arms crossed. And I just said, no, no, no. And I went back in my room and I was like, I think there's a man in the living room.

And I went back out and he was gone. Are you serious? I'm dead ass. What did a ghost look like? Was he shiny? Was he like, was he like... He just, he looked like a man. Like he looked like a literal, like a legit person.

Nicole, do you think a man was actually in your fucking apartment? That never occurred to me. And then, you, by the way, the real, the real thing is there could have been a man in your apartment. That never occurred to you? Oh, my God. Are you crying? That's two. That's three. Two or three. I can't believe it.

It's been like 10 years. And nobody has said that. I can't believe it. It's been like 10 years. And nobody has said that. I've told this story before. It's crazy. The guy was there and he was just like hanging out and he turned the light on and off a couple of times and he said, okay, I'm gonna head out. He goes, first I'm gonna take some things. And this ghost was bananas.

And I never lock my door. And I've never put two and two together that there might have just been somebody in the apartment. Oh, my God. That's scary. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's unbelievable. My God. This is going to be a very, a very special episode.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You can already feel it. Ben. Nicole. That's wild. You never thought about that? Never, ever in my whole life. Have you ever thought about a man that looks like Mr. Clean ever?

Is that anything in your subconscious? No. Does that represent something to you? No, I don't think Mr. Clean's hot or anything. He doesn't do it for me. Did he move or he stayed? He just stayed there. Could you see him breathing and moving?

I didn't register that. I just went right back in my room and I was like, no, no, no, no. Did you hear noises when he left? No. It might've. Could've been a ghost, but also could just be the guy who played Mr. Clean robbed you. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, but we didn't have anything. Maybe his arms were crossed because he was like, the TV on the wall's very small. Our TV was so small, it looked like an iPad. And, huh. Sorry, I got you off track. No, you really rocked my world. It's a lot. That's a lot. That maybe there was a man hanging out there

because you didn't lock your door. I never lock my door. What do you create? Still? I still don't lock my door. Don't tell people that. Come on over, come on over baby. No, what's the point? I don't lock my car either. What? Listen, if you need... It happens automatically when you leave now.

You have to like make an effort not to lock your door. No, it doesn't happen automatically. I've got the lowest, the base model of a Jeep. I saw it outside. Mm-hmm. So you have to, is it one of these locks? No, you have an automatic lock. I have-

I saw the car outside. Well, I'm going to show you the little, so it has like one of these things. Oh my God. It has one of these things. Oh, my God. It has one of these things on it. Give me it. There's somebody on there that you might know. Oh, my God. I was gonna wear my Crocs that have sonic gibets.

Do people give you these or you buy them? Someone gave that to me. The dick? Yeah, and the first time I, like, that have sonic gibets. Do people give you these or you buy them? Someone gave that to me. The dick? Yeah, and the first time I like handed it to a valet, I was like, isn't that funny? And he was like, no. And I was like, okay.

Oh, is this one of the ones where you press it and it flips out? Yeah. I remember this. Wranglers, fine, good. You know. Hard to maneuver? It's an interesting car. It's my second one. Second Wrangler.

Second Wrangler. Second Wrangler. Wow. White, like Cher Horowitz and Clueless. Oh, that's cute. And the week I first had it, the steering manifold malfunctioned. What's a steering manifold? It helps the car go straight.

You don't think it was the bounty guy, right? Or the, yeah, the bounty, no, Mr. Cleed. No, Mr. Cleed. You think Mr. Cleed is trying to clean my clock? No, I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think and... You don't think it was the bounty guy, right?

Or the... Yeah, the bounty... No, Mr. Clean. No, Mr. Clean. You think Mr. Clean is trying to clean my clock and kill me? That's a good movie. We can do that. Get us on that soundstage. Oh, let's get the rights to Mr. Clean. God, they've got to be out there. It's an IP that's definitely available. Let's do it. But anyway, I had to like... It wouldn't just go straight, so I had to like maneuver it

and then take it back to the dealership and they fixed it terrifying Yeah, but I I like the car aesthetically so I'm gonna continue It's a cool-looking car getting one also when I was a kid that was like the coolest only the cool kids had so cool Yeah, I also I just like little SUVs like the geo tracker or like the Suzuki I think it's the samurai I just love them. They're so cute like a tiny SUV or like the Suzuki, I think it's the Samurai. I just love them. They're so cute.

They're like a tiny SUV. I love them, because you're high up, but it's tiny and it could fit everywhere. I love it. I once was trying to park my Jeep in a very tiny spot and the man came out of his apartment to wag his finger and go, not gonna fit. But then I did fit and I was so excited.

Ben. Ben. This is going fantastic. I have another question. I'll answer excited. Ben. Ben. This is going fantastic. I have another question. I'll answer every Sonic question. I can't wait. This is right before we go on a press tour that I go from LA to Brazil, Brazil Comic Con,

then we go to London, and then we go from London to LA, then I go from LA to New York, then I go to New York to LA for 16 days. Oh my God. And this is before it. This is a week before it starts. from LA to New York, then I go to New York to LA. For 16 days, I do- Oh my God. And this is before it. This is a week before it starts. So I'm like ready to answer any question.

It hasn't been asked a thousand times yet. What's one of the worst questions you've gotten? Everybody asks the same questions usually. So it's usually the same questions. One is, what's it like working with Jim Carrey? And then I have to be like, I'm in a booth. I never get to work with them. Would you ever go to set? Only one time. The first movie that brought me to set. And then there's no,, I'm in a booth. I never get to work with them. Would you ever go to set?

Only one time, the first movie that brought me to set. And then there's no, then they're in different countries. I was filming once when they were filming in Vancouver, but my production wouldn't let me go to their production because of COVID. Ah. So I've only been on set once. And it was in the first movie when Jim Carrey

was Robotnik in the egg pod in that big white, remember that big like that, and he's driving it. And I got to meet him for the first time and I am like, I love Jim Carrey. Dumb and Dumber to me is maybe a top five movie of all time. Never seen it. No! I've never seen a lot of people's favorite movies.

That's why you do that podcast with Lauren? Mm-hmm. Wait, why? That's why you do that podcast. Wait, wait. I don't know. I'm sure you talk about it all the time now. Well, I honestly don't know why I've missed. What did you do as a kid? Instead of watching a movie, you did what?

No, I watched movies, but I watched movies like Ghost and Sister Act and My Cousin Vinny. Those are great. Those are all classics. But yeah, name another favorite movie. Mine? Back to the Future is my favorite movie. Okay, I've seen that one. Shawshank Redemption.

Oh, I've seen that one. Okay, so maybe I've seen... Aladdin. All of your favorite movies. Yes. Okay, I hadn't seen Total Recall, so maybe I've seen... Aladdin. All of your favorite movies. Yes. Okay, I hadn't seen Total Recall, but I watched that last night. Have you ever seen it? I have the first one.

You have dumb air. Imagine being a high school kid and having a woman with three breasts on screen. Blew me away. Blew me away. I was just telling Casey, I was like, every choice in that movie was a choice. The most insane choice they could make. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They always did the worst choice. And by the time there was that little baby in that movie was a choice. The most insane choice they could make. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They always did the worst choice.

And by the time there was that little baby in that man, I was exhausted. I was like, that isn't, that's nuts. What's your new, what's the movie you've been forced to watch that you're like, oh my God, this is one of my favorite movies of all time? Face Off. Nick Cage, I did a movie with him.

Let's get him on the phone. Wait, did you? Yeah, he played Dracula in a movie with him. Wait, which one? Can I tell you an incredible Nick Cage story? I have a hundred great Nick Cage stories. Wait, which movie was Yeah, he played Dracula in a movie with him. Wait, which one? Can I tell you an incredible Nick Cage story? I have a hundred great Nick Cage stories. Wait, which movie was this? There's a movie called Renfield where he plays Dracula

and Nicholas Holt and Aquafina are in it. And I play a bad guy. I got to do stunts and had to work out beforehand. It was crazy, never before. But they're- Do they check in on you when you're working out? Or do you just show up to set and they're like, that's good.

No, no, no, no, no. I just have to be strong enough to do these stunts. They're like, I don't have to like take off my shirt. I just have to be strong enough to do these stunts. They're like, I don't have to like take off my shirt. I just have to be strong enough to do a stunt. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, it's like for like, you know, Chris Pratt He has to look jacked when he comes out of that bathtub. For me, it's like just don't get hurt. Just like, please do a little bit of working out. And I did and then I was in New Orleans and the second all my stunt scenes were done,

I went out and ate so poorly throughout the whole movie that I think I gained seven pounds from the first scene to the last scene of the movie. And so like, if you watch that movie, you'll slowly see me getting a little bit bigger just because the food was so good over there. Okay, this is an improv Nick Cage story. Did you eat turtle while you were in New Orleans?

I did, I'm sorry. Did you like it? It was fine, I don't need to do it again. I didn't like it because I couldn't get out of my head that it was a turtle. Of course, I played Leo in Teenage Mutant Turtles, I can't eat turtles. So you were eating yourself. I was eating myself.

Have you ever eaten a hedgehog? No! Neither have I, neither have I, neither have I. Three, four, three, four, no you're not. That would make me so sad if someone was like, you're eating Sonic! You couldn't do it. I was doing something with Cage and I improvised in it.

And in the scene, in the scene, I pretended my guy was a bad guy, that he was like taking endangered species from zoos. And I made some bit about stealing endangered species and talk about taking this hippo and anorosaurus. And they go, cut. And he looks at me and we go to our chairs and he goes, cut! And he looks at me, and we go to our chairs, and he goes, Ben.

And I go, yeah, terrible neckage. No, no, I was into it. I thought it was good. He goes, that... The way you invoked the rhinoceros in that last scene. Unbelievable. I was like... I literally, and he's dressed as Dracula.

And I was like, thank you so much. I was like, I do improv. He goes, oh my God. I go, is that something you like? He goes, yeah. I go, do you think you would ever want to come on stage? He goes, maybe, I think that might be fun. I was like, if I can get Nick Cage

at a Ben Schwartz and Friends show, Nick Cage, that would be amazing. Anyway, he was amazing. And then the second he's dressed as Dracula, and I go, I'm so sorry to do this to you. Adaptation, can you talk to me about adaptation for a little bit? And he goes, of course, of course.

But he was amazing. He was amazing. All the big, like, Jim Carrey has been amazing to me. Everybody that I've met, that's lovely. I love to hear that. Because sometimes you're like, people will talk, and they're like, eh, you know, that person was like not great, da-da-da-da.

But I love Jim Carrey. One of my favorite Jim Carrey stories is, I think it's Batman Forever, where he was with... Tommy Lee Jones. And he said, I do not sanction your buffoonery. And I was like, I can't wait to get someone so angry with me that they say, I don't sanction your buffoonery. That's a choice to say buffoonery or sanction.

You thought about this sentence for a while. Yes. And you were mad and you were stewing. You couldn't wait to say it. It's so good. It's great. God, he's in everything. He literally has been everything. It's just... How does it feel to be in a movie

with so many famous people? It's crazy. You know what's crazy now? It's so hard to get in movies that premiere in movie theaters. Yes. That like when we go to a movie theater, we can see a poster of our own movie, or I could like sneak in and watch what the crowd thinks.

It doesn't happen anymore. So for me, and maybe you understand this as well, like as an improviser who's been very lucky and I'm very happy with how my career has gone, it's still as impossible to get in those movies, so I lose my mind. I get emotional when I see, like if you're at the premiere and you looked at me,

I will get emotional in two or three different things. It happened in the first movie and the second movie. Even screenings by myself. I tear up and I have to like chill myself out. One is when I hear my voice as Sonic and the crowd laughs or reacts. And I'm realizing like, oh my God, I really play this guy.

I play him. And the other one is when I have a scene with Jim Carrey because I can't believe even though I'm not there. And the last one, this is so cheesy, is in the end credits when it says your name. And like, I think about how like my parents are seeing my I think about how my parents are seeing my name in that and kids are seeing my name in that. And I'm like, it makes me, that is a very emotional moment.

Because it's- It's so cool. You dream of that. It's so rare too, yeah. And then on a big screen. Yes, and it's usually the first one in those Sonic movies first or second. So it's like,

cause it's not my face, so sometimes it's like, it doesn't feel real until I'm there. And then when I'm there, cause I'm also like, I wasn't on set for all the other movies I've done, I'm on set. This one I'm just in a room with Jeff and Toby and Tyson Hess, who you gotta meet, who's an incredible Sonic person.

I wanna meet everybody. And he can do, he can draw you anything you want. He could draw me a Sonic. Ah! Ah! But I'm there, and then I'm there for, I'm in such a big part of the process at the end. I watch the cuts and I give thoughts and I think about how I could do things better.

Like I'll do 20, we've done 20 records for some of the movies, which you as a voice of Ratchastoh is- Yeah, that's a lot. It's so much. That's a lot. And at the beginning there were six hour sessions, there were four hour sessions, there was three. So it's like, so I put in so much work at the end, but it's very solitary work,

and then I get to see it on the screen with everybody else. I mean, it shows that you do a lot of work. Can you tell? Yes. The movies are so fun. I try so hard. I want it to be so good. Okay, when you first saw Sonic, were you also upset? The video game or the movie?

No, the first image of Sonic where he had all them teeth. I'm trying to figure out how to say it so... He looked like a kid that bites. I was like, oh my God. He had big old legs too. He had hams. He did. He had big old legs. My thought was that this is the best part about what happened for me. So many people responded to the trailer

that we were so terrified that we were going to release the trailer. And people were like, we don't care about Sonic. And so many people did it that all of a sudden, it was like, oh my God, so many people care. And so many people are angry. But I agree with the change. I was like, oh, you know what? This is what I also think that helped us a lot.

Paramount, Toby, Neil, Jeff, they listened to the fans, which when does that ever happen, ever? They heard what they were saying. They're like, you know what, we can make this better. They pushed the movie. They put more money into the movie. And they redid it because they're like, we could see how much people love this.

We wanna get it right. And I was so proud of that. And I agreed that. I agreed that that was the right move. That was the right move. Yeah, he had so many. It was wild how many teeth he had. And then the next trailer, everybody went bananas for it. Yeah, he looked great.

I don't know if you retweeted or, because I follow you, and this is when Twitter was, people could just say things. Yes. So it was like, I forget, but I remember that. I was like, oh my God, Nicole saw this trailer. I was like, oh, this is like getting, I think this is bigger than I think people think it's going to be.

And then I was like if we get It right we could be making these movies for a while and but my performance didn't change There's some I have still the same performance, but I was really happy it And I wonder how much I? Think it helped us with the fans because they said something and we literally nobody was this we spent millions of dollars and pushed it Which takes so much time to get it right which I appreciate because do you remember how you reacted the first time I came out god I wish we could bring that up the first trailer I was like whoa oh I was like genuinely

excited but then I was like he looks scary I don't like them teeth but then they fixed the teeth and I was like wait this looks like so much fun and then seeing the movie I was like oh my god I love oh I meant to add when I first watched it I stopped the movie and then restarted it and watched it again really wait where do you stop it at the end at the end? I was like oh wow what a movie so at the end when tales came out to do flip out We're so excited. I was very excited when I was going to theaters and surprising people, I would stay for that end part, and watching the audience go crazy was the coolest thing.

It's the closest I'll ever get to being in like an Avengers movie. The series does a smart thing with just like introducing everybody's like each movie, it's fun, and it's like, ooh, what's next? And then you're just like, ooh, we're gonna get through all of them. And Jeff just said, so I can say that there's a new character

that's introduced in the credits of this one. Yes, because there is a theory with Tika Sumpter's Is that how you say your last name Sumpter? Sumpter? Sumpter? Think Sumpter. Well Tika's clothing in The the press stuff so in the- She wore baby blue when I did it. She wore what color did she wear? Well, apparently I don't I didn't like- I will tell you there. This is not real thing. Okay. Well, I don't know if she's even seen the post credit sequence Well, it's not in the credit sequence. It was just like a promo image So for the first movie she was wearing a gold sweater and then tails was introduced and then in the second movie

She was wearing red really knuckles was introduced and then then, wait, am I messing it up? Whatever. No, Shadow was introduced at the end of two. Yes, so she was wearing black, I guess. I don't know. I saw it and I was like, oh my God, that's fun. And then apparently she's wearing pink. So they think that Amy Rose is coming.

I've done press with her for a couple of days. She has not worn pink once. I got it, okay, let's find it. We'll take the time to do this. I don't even know how to Google this. I just Google Tika's sweater theory. What if this is one of your theories? This is a theory that Nicole came up with

and she's like, everybody's talking about it. Everyone, everyone's talking. Would you want it to be that? I want it to be Amy Rose. You want a female character in this? Yeah, I think it would be fun. I like, you know, getting the girls involved. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's fun. Do you think you'll cry even harder when the girl gets involved? Probably. I'm just pleased as punch that the movies keep happening. If we can keep making these for, I want so badly to make these for so long. I would want to do it so, I want to do this forever.

It makes me so happy. And then kids, it makes kids so happy. When I leave these voice notes, and adults, when I leave these voice notes, like some of my friends will take like a picture of their kid, like, like, like it's like Santa Claus. They just saw Santa Claus. So it's like, it's crazy.

Santa Claus is a thing, right? I'm Jewish. Yeah. Ho, ho, ho. Sonic is here. Holiday special's like, it's crazy. Santa Claus is a thing, right? I'm Jewish. Yeah. Ho, ho, ho. Sonic is here. All the day special. Okay, good. I used the ho, ho, ho's from Santa's iconic phrase, ho, ho, ho.

He says ho, ho, ho? Yeah, Ben, we gotta take a break. Okay. Let's send it out. Who do we talk to to say you're taking a break? We're taking a break. ["Santa Claus is Here"] We're taking a break. This podcast is supported by Essie Nail Polish. There's something about having a fresh manicure that makes you feel fabulous.

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Shop Essie nail polish for the holidays in store. Target, Ulta, CVS, all the stores you're already shopping at and online at your preferred Essie retailer. And we're back. We're back. We're back. Ben, I had a question and it escapes me right now. Well, first of all,

these questions have been absolutely fantastic. No, they haven't. Is it about Sonic? They have. Are you sure? Yeah, I love this. Okay. I don't know. I'm not doing a bit. Why do you, I love this. Okay. I don't know.

I'm not doing a bit. Why do you think I'm doing a bit? I don't know. I just, okay. Wait, what does it say? You have a sheet of paper, don't you? With all your questions? No, the questions are in my head.

So what's on that sheet of paper? Why even have the sheet of paper? It says, it's got your intro on it. Oh, okay. And then usually I have, my assistant will do research on guests, but I said I didn't need any research because I have all my Sonic questions in my head.

Okay, great, I can't wait. Do you have like merch at your house? Oh my God, so- Do you have a Sonic room? Not a room. In my house, the things that I have, so I have an office, oh, I'll show you

a picture of this. You're gonna love it. I have props from everything I've ever done. I've asked the prop master for everything to take one thing. So every single project I've done. So from like Parks and Recreation, I have like the money that we threw around for Entertainment 720. I have the gravestone for John Ralphio. Mike, sure. My character dies in it. Every single thing. Sorry. For Sonic, I wasn't there, so I have like a talking Sonic. That's my voice.

And I have like two action figures. Wait, what do you mean? Like a Teddy Ruxpin? Oh, my God, they did a Build-A-Bear. Where you could build your own Sonic for the first one or the second one. So I have... I missed out on this? I could... We could probably get you some Sonic toys. So they just asked if they can use my voice or the second one. So I have... I missed out on this? I could, we could probably get you some Sonic toys.

So they just asked if they can use my voice in the new toys. And I said, you gotta send me the toys. And so I have a box of all the new ones for this one. And I'm such a nerd that I was like, should I keep them in the box? Do I open them? Cause I usually open my things, but I was like, I already have enough Sonic stuff.

I can't put more Sonic stuff on my wall. What if they're unopened? And then like 10 years from now, I'm like, look at all this cool stuff. It'll be worth money. Well, maybe, I already have enough sonic stuff. I can't put more sonic stuff on my wall. What if they're unopened? And then like 10 years from now, I'm like, look at all this cool stuff. It'll be worth money. Well, maybe, I don't know. And then if you get into trouble financially, you could sell them.

That's what I'm hoping. You know what I mean? I'm hoping when I get into trouble financially. So I have a lot of toys. I have posters. Like I have a couple posters, but those are all put away. I have one poster that's signed by the whole cast.

But not a ton of stuff. But I'll sign this poster for you. We can get everybody... ["SCREAMING"] ["LAUGHING"] How funny would it be if Keanu Reeves came in right now? He's like, I play Shadow. You're like, I don't care.

I don't give a shit about you. I love Sonic! Well, I just watched John Wick. All of them. I love John Wick. They're so fun. He's amazing. I couldn't believe how much fun I was Sonic. Well, I just watched John Wick. All of them. I love John Wick. They're so fun. He's amazing. I couldn't believe how much fun I was having. Same with me. We love John Wick at our house.

It's so good. The first one is so good. So good. And then the subsequent ones, I think, are just as good, but like the first one is so heartfelt. And then in the fourth one, I cried when he fell down all those stairs because I was like, he's got to go back up then. He fell down so fast.

I couldn't believe he had to go back up. I would have said, I'm not going to make it to the church. I got to go home. John Wick's like, it's time to go to church. I couldn't believe. I'm going to go up all those stairs. It was wild. I was like, they're good movies,

but I was like, he's in great shape. He's in incredible shape. If I read the script and they're like, fall down the stairs. And he tours in a band. He does? He tours in a band. Dogma, a band and he tours in a band. Dogma, maybe? Dog Star.

Dog Star. Oh. I said, Dog Star. Dog Star. The Nickelodeon show, Dog. How did you get involved with Improv? I'll ask you some questions about you. I graduated college and in college, went to Union College. I was a psych-anthro major, so no... What does that mean?

Psychology and anthropology major. So that's like bodies and brains? Yeah, it's brains and societies. Oh, oh. So like cultures and societies. Sorry, cultures and brains. And then I took, I was always, I was always too nervous to audition for anything.

Like even when I was in high school, I wouldn't audition for the musical because I was afraid I wouldn't get it and I'd find out I'm not, I'm like bad and people make fun of me. So I never did it. I was in high school, I wouldn't audition for the musical because I was afraid I wouldn't get it and I'd find out I'm like bad and people make fun of me. So I never did it. I was in singing groups, but I wasn't able to do that. Like show choir? I did, no, I did like, I was in all county chorus.

I was almost a soprano back then. I was in all county chorus. I was in like mad girls. Wait, so you sing? I used to be able to sing, and now my voice is a little wrapped up from voiceover, by the way.

My voice got crushed from doing voiceover. It's tough. Yeah. All my characters are so high pitched. But I can sing a little bit. Do you sing? No. Do you want to sing together?

Yes. What song do you want to sing? What song do I know? Okay. Anyway, so I was too afraid. On my own, pretending he's beside me. That's from Les Mis. It is.

I don't think, that's the whole song. On my own, how's that? We got a little shit here. Da da da da da da. Is it? He loves me. He loves me. Da da da da da da da.

Let's pick a song we both know. You know what I mean? Yes. It doesn't have to be a musical. I cannot think of a song. Any song? Do you watch Disney mean? Yes. Um... It doesn't have to be a musical. It can be any song. I cannot think of a song. Any song?

Do you watch Disney movies? Sometimes. Yeah? Name any Disney song. I bet we both know that. Underdassy. Seems like you're leading me into a racist. Underdassy.

I can't do it. I would love to join you. I can sing this myself. Here's the thing about... That one goes, isn't that? No. Kiss the Girl goes, there. Do you know that one? There. You could do the voice. I can sing this myself. That one goes, isn't that? No. Kiss the girl goes, there, do you know that one? There.

You can do the voice, I can. There you see her. You can lead it to the voice even harder if you want. There you see her. Sitting there across the way. I don't know the words, I'm just looking at your mouth. What's the song you know? Give me one song you know. I don't know lyrics.

Wait, this is crazy. Name one song you know. I don't know a single song from top to bottom. Well, give me, you know a chorus to something. Do you believe in life after love? You only know a line of every song. So what's the next line of that? I could see something inside myself. The random things long in the road.

I don't think it's, I really don't think it's long enough. I'm constantly finding out I don't sing anything correctly. Wait, here's a, okay. How did Sebastian- Oh wait, what were you just answering? We were just answering something. Do you think Sebastian- What was the question you asked?

I don't know, but do you think Sebastian's a slave? Because he's the only one with a Jamaican accent in the kingdom. And he works for- Why would you say he's a slave? Because he works for the king and he's got an accent. He's from Jamaica. Don't do this to me.

This is like you telling me that there's an actual man in your house, robbing your house and just let you go away. Don't break my heart. But how did they get him? How did they get him? What does that mean? What is the phrase? How did they get him?

Did he float over from Jamaica to the kingdom? Hey, listen. Like, how did he get there? He made a journey to get there. Did they steal him from Jamaica? You can't do this to me. And make him work for King Triton? You cannot do this to me.

You can't tell me. Why is nobody else under the sea, Jamaica? There you see her. Sitting there across the way. Wa wa wa. Boy, you got a lot to say. But there's something about her Oh yeah

And you don't know why but you're dying to try You gotta kiss that girl La la la la la la don't be shy You gotta da da da You gotta kiss that girl La la la la la la Don't be shy You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it.

You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it.

You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it.

You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You he did and he liked it. Are you still dating this person? Do you want to bring him to the premiere? I would. Oh my god. You gotta make this happen. I gotta get something blue. If that doesn't work for this text me. Wait. I auditioned for, I was too afraid to audition. Oh yes! So I had a girlfriend at the time. This works with dating. I was dating someone in college at the time.

I love how worried you are about this being a dating podcast. No, I just like whenever, as an improvis, when I can connect things, I get so excited. And she forced me to audition for the improv team in college. Because I wanted to, but I was too afraid that they would tell me I'm not funny. And I was like, I can't handle it. I don't want to be told that. I like, my friends think I'm funny. I don't want to find out I'm not funny. It would be soul-crushing. It would. Like, it's a part of my identity.

I was like, ugh. So she forced me to. I had a terrible audition, so I was so nervous. But they let me on the team. And then I became one of the people that people were excited to see. Then I started at UCB. I was like, you know what? I love Amy Poehler. Amy Poehler is at theater in New York.

I took Second City classes and I took UCB classes at the same time. And Second City did not mesh with me. And UCB immediately meshed with me. I became an intern so I could afford classes. I was an intern for years so I could afford classes. Man, it might be years, years, might be like three years or a year and a half, two years, something like that.

And then I became a bartender because I thought that people, and then I thought that people weren't taking me seriously as a performer because I was a bartender for so long. So I was like, I think I gotta separate it so people just don't think I'm behind the bar the whole time. And then I worked in the office there booking UCB as a touring company for the college

when it didn't exist. Eli Newell put me in a room, in the box office at UCB Chelsea with a phone. And for eight hours a day, I would cold call colleges to explain what UCB is. That's wild. And try to explain and like I'd explain yeah it's formed by Amy and they go will they be touring? They will not be touring and it's just like people they've never heard of touring. Oh yeah I've done Torco and people would get mad. I was the first person to try to pitch the idea

to people that it should be a touring thing and now I tour with my thing but so like I was obsessed so that that's how I started improv. And the first like show I saw, I was like, oh, I want to do this. This is so fun. You go up with nothing and you can make a whole world laugh. And then I saw someone do a Harold in the Dark.

And I was like, there's not even lights. There's not even lights in you making people laugh. This is, it's a magic trick. And then I went to, I was an intern at Ask Cat and I saw the best improvisers in the world perform. Like it was Tina, Amy, Rachel, Jack McBrayer, it was both Matt, Ian. And it was like, it was just like, you know, it was insane.

John Glazer would come and it was just incredible. And I was like, this is what I want to do. And I got obsessed with it. I was so obsessed with it. Was Hot Sauce your first team? No. I did a sketch group called Gibbons and Schwartz with a guy named Nick Gibbons. And then Hot Sauce was me, Gil, and Adam.

And that was the first one that kind of like... That was one of the first shows I saw. That you saw? Mm-hmm. And I was like, boy, oh boy, these boys are funny. Oh really? And then I think I saw a Harold Knight and that just confused the shit out of me.

I was like, I- I know, it's not as fun. It's funny, but I don't quite get the structure of what's happening. And then I started taking classes. Because I was like, whatever this is, I need to learn it. How did you know to come to Hot Sauce? You were in New York?

Yeah, I think I just randomly went with a friend. Oh, I love that. Yeah, it was great. That makes me so happy. Yeah, and then... That was a very special group. Hot Sauce is so, we had the most fun. So funny. It's the... Gil is so funny, you're so funny, and Pally is so happy. Yeah. That was a very special group. Hot sauce is so, we had the most fun.

So funny. It's the... Gil is so funny. You're so funny and Pally is so funny. And then together I was just like, this is insane. I think Gil is the funniest person in the world. I also think so. I don't think there's anybody funnier in the world

than Gil. He's so funny. Gil Ozari, it's literally the funniest person in the world. He makes videos or he used to make, maybe he still makes them, but you make these random videos that were just so fucking funny and put them on Instagram and I would just like giggle. He's incredible. He's incredible. I love him. But that was, it's funny, now you and I have toured and played Radio City and all these crazy places.

And the best, my favorite, the shows that like, I still remember the fun are the beginning. I feel like the beginning of the journey is the most exciting part. I loved those like, those years were the best years. And we were making no money. Dinner for me was buying a slice of pizza then putting all the free shit on top. You know what I mean? Like the Parmesan and the thing sort of felt like a different slice.

Or like going to Wendy's which was near my apartment and like I had no money and we had the best time. Yeah, I agree. The best time. Most of the shows that I really remember were at Chelsea. Like UCB Chelsea was like my ultimate. The best time. Most of the shows that I really remember were at Chelsea. Like, UCB Chelsea was like my ultimate and I was like, when I get to get on that stage, it's going to be so amazing. And then it was.

It's the best. When I was an intern, I used to do the garbage and mop the stage and we would do it at Ascat and when they left, Adam and Gil would come and the theater's empty and we would beg Chuck Dobble and Alex Sittes, can we just go on the stage and improvise in front of nobody? That's so fucking cute! And they're like, you're gonna make us leave late. I go, just 10 minutes. And they'd both be like, fine.

And we would pretend because Amy was just on the stage, and it used to be four, and like, we would do a show for nobody. And we would die laughing. And we felt like it felt incredible. I love that. Yeah, we just love doing it. We love making people... We love each other and we would thought we felt like in it felt incredible. I love that Yeah, we just love doing it. We love making great. We love each other. We love making people laugh There's probably ghosts there that were like, oh Or mr. Clean broken. Yeah, either one person not laughing or a ha ha ha

Real quick we have to take another break We have to take another break. Um. Sonic question. No. Do you ever play like wingman for friends? On dates? Sometimes. I think, I feel like when I was younger way more.

How often, I don't know, do you go to bars ever? I don't really get. Sometimes. And also like the older you get the fewer friends that are single. So I haven't done it in a while. But when I was younger, older you get, the fewer friends that are single. So I haven't done it in a while, but when I was younger, I used to, I would be great. I feel like any improviser is great. I want to make the person, in any scene, I want to make the person next to me look amazing.

So in real life, anytime I could try to, like, help someone out. Especially when I was really, I would like, guys who couldn't figure out how to text women, I was like, I was a little bit better at doing that. So I'd be like the Sereno sometimes to them. Or like women of my friends who are women would put up their dating profile on like the TV screen. And they'll be like, what should I say to this guy? And we like decide together like that stuff

and see what gets a reaction. What's like a message that you would send somebody? Like what's an opening message? Oh my apples, I dropped my apple. My boy are you fast. Or the little ones. That's not the voice. I think you should do the voice. I'm not allowed to.

I'm not allowed to. But you could do a Jewish voice and I wouldn't be upset. Do you wanna do a Jewish voice? I don't know how to do a Jewish voice. That's fucking anti-Semitic. Is it? That's unbelievable. Can you believe it?

Send this clip to Paramount. What the fuck? Yeah, so I forget. Unbelievable. Can you believe it? Send this clip to Paramount. Um... Yeah, so I forget. It was just being a normal person. And like being a little bit funny. Like just being a little bit funny, like commenting on someone's picture or something like that.

But being light about it. As opposed to like, I feel like guys and even women when they're talking. Like, there's so much pressure on that first one. For me, when I have no, nothing in the game's so easy. What were, were you on those apps? I love how you said it, those apps. So you've never been on apps? I've, I was on an app for a month. Oh my God, what a life.

Yeah, yeah, I spent years on these fucking apps. So you must have been a, but I would have to imagine if you, if you match with someone, when when you match with someone that when you start talking you win because your brain in your mouth is like how do you not how do you not fall how do you not want to just keep talking to that person? No I for a long time my opening was would you rather be a penguin on the fourth Friday of every month for an hour or be a hot dog on Tuesdays for 30 minutes and people would unmatch me?

No response? I've never gotten a response. But I think it's a good question. I would turn into a penguin. If you're a hot dog, you might get eaten. I would love that. That's a great question. Thank you.

But people genuinely did not like it. I think you gotta be funny. And now I ask my boyfriend that all the time. Thank you, but people genuinely did not like it You gotta be funny and now I asked my boyfriend that all the time all the time I'll ask not that specific But I like I like to ask him weird questions if you bring your boyfriend a thing and we can find a way to say hello We I can meet this person you can meet him. He's really nice. I can't wait imagine. I was like he's really mean Don't you make him mad I don't wait. Imagine, I was like, he's really mean. You don't want to meet him, he's so bad. Don't, you'll make him mad. I don't get him mad. And now I need to get him to watch the Knuckles mini series. That one he was like-

You don't need to see the Knuckles series to do three. Oh, you don't? No. Okay. It's a standalone series. But you need to see the series because Adam is amazing in it. He's so good.

And Idris is amazing in it. Idris is so funny and great. And, oh my God, why did her name just leave me? From Greece, soccer chanting. She's in it. She is? Yeah, it's Pally's mom. Really?

Have you not seen Knuckles, the miniseries, the six part event? I've seen the first two episodes. You haven't seen the six part event? Bring it up, let's watch it. Don't tell Pally. I've seen the first two. It's okay. She plays his mom and there is a scene where she gets to fight. I heard there's a Hanukkah or a Bar Mitzvah episode that Yoruma directed. Yeah.

I cannot wait. It's great. I can't wait. And her stunt double is definitely a man in a wig and they don't shy away from showing that and it made me laugh so hard. Oh, I love it. I can't wait. I gotta say, the series is genuinely very funny. Yeah, because Pally and Fowler directed it. No, no, no. I mean, like, the movies, the series, like, everybody involved in the Sonic universe

is just very funny. And the scripts are good. The scripts are awesome. Uh, Josh, uh, Josh and Pat write them, and then John did a write on this one. But I think, um, the big thing I think that we try to do that separates us a little bit is heart. I think we really try to put heart in there.

And comedy isn't just for kids, it's for everybody. And I think we're not just taking pieces of actual, exact scenes from the video game and throwing them up there. Everything has a reason to be up there and they're Easter eggs as opposed to the reason why things are happening. But we were a big part of video game movies coming back and becoming a up there. Everything has a reason to be up there and they're Easter eggs as opposed to the reason why things are happening. But we were a big part of like video game movies coming back and becoming a big thing. And now Mario made a billion and you know what I mean?

It's like amazing. We're not responsible for that, but we were. You are. We were a part of the wave of people carrying it. No, take it. Ben Schwartz, you brought video game movies back. Oh my God. So you had a Genesis, did you play other games?

Were you a big video game person or no? No. No, just Sonic. Just Sonic and Aladdin. Would you want to play Sonic? Oh my God. I would really enjoy watching Sonic on the screen and having it be my voice, but I would not ever want to step on the work

that you have done because I was spreaded in a wild way. Okay. I appreciate that. I have a rug of Sonic. It's great. I love it. What a small rug. I thought it was going to be bigger. I don't know what you do with it exactly.

It just sits in my office in front of a bookshelf. Made of Sonic stuff? No, my sonic stuff is scattered around. Do you have a prized possession in your office? My sonic clock. I didn't bring it. Is sonic the biggest thing in your office? No, there has to be something from your life that's in your office that you're like, I love this. No, it's a sonic clock.

I really love that sonic clock, but I have like a lot of rubber duckies. What's that fascination about? I love a duck. Have you ever been to Cape Cod? No. I really love that sonic clock, but I have like a lot of rubber duckies. What's that fascination about? I love a duck Have you ever been to Cape Cod? No, there's a store that just sells rubber duck. They have one in Amsterdam Is it the same store? I don't know but that's where he's from. He's amazing and I have a share rubber ducky What is it? Do you beer? Wait? No. Oh, can you turn quack time is what it says on the box. If you can turn quack time,

I'll give it all to Ducky. That? Yeah, that was nice. All right, sing. I'm trying to think of a song that you know. Mm-hmm. How about, what's the most famous Disney song ever?

What's the most famous Disney song ever? What's the most famous Disney song ever? I can show you the world. Perfect, keep going, let's see how far you go. Shining, shimmering, splendid. You're doing it. So tell me princess, when do you lie? Keep going, keep going, no you got it. Let your heart decide.

I can open your eyes. Take you wonder by wonder. Overseas, over the world. I can show you the world. I can show you the world. I can show you the world. I can show you the world. I can show you the world.

I can show you the world. I can show you the world. I can show you the world. I can show you the world. I can show you the world. I can show you the world. I can show your eyes, take you wonder by wonder, over sideways and under on a magic carpet ride. Paramount's gonna be like, why this? This isn't sponsored by Paramount. No, but maybe, I don't know. Oh my god, does that mean we have to do a commercial in seven seconds?

No, it means we're wrapping up. The whole thing? I didn't realize that I only had seven seconds. This could be a longer episode? Yeah. Alright, great. This is a special... This is a special... This is ho ho ho, Sonic is here! Mars, my producer, was like, what do you want the special title to be named? I said ho ho ho, Sonic is here. Does Santa have another catchphrase that I'm not aware of? Merry Christmas. Okay, do you have one more? Is there one more? You've been a naughty girl. I don't think that's it. Yeah. You've been a naughty girl? He says, like, you've been a naughty girl or boy.

Yeah. He says it like that? You're on the naughty list. You're on the naughty list, okay. That's what it is, yeah. You've been a naughty girl. I guess you've been a naughty girl. Yeah. You've been a naughty girl. I guess you've been a naughty girl.

Yeah. You've been a naughty girl. Stop it, Nicole. Don't side eye me and say you've been a naughty girl while wearing a Sonic hat. I forgot it was on my head. Don't you dare close your eyes. I have a question. Yeah.

Why did you think it was a bit that I like Sonic as much as I do? Because sometimes when, uh, cause we're comedians and you know I played Sonic. So I thought you were like, I thought you liked Sonic, but I thought you were leaning into it for the bit on stage. Interesting. No. No, you love it. I really do. You're excited for this movie?

I'm so. If you were to come to the premiere, would you go opening night? Yes, it's in my calendar. Do you want to see it? Which movie theater do you go to usually? Uh, it's in my calendar. Do you want to see it? Which movie theater do you go to usually? The Americana. Oh, yeah, okay. I like the Americana. But yeah, I had it in,

I think tickets go on sale soon. They do. Also- They go on sale Monday, I think. I was going to buy them for the 20th on Monday. I mean, you could go to the premiere and then buy tickets for the 20th. Oh, I probably will see it for so many times.

Also, you guys are doing press at the airport. We're doing press at the airport? Well, you have on those big cylinders. But that doesn't mean we're going to the airport and doing press. You're going to LAX tomorrow to do some press. Wait, are we up already? Yes.

Did you take a picture with it? No, I got too excited. Can you please do it and tag me? Yeah. You could be going to LAX probably next week. I'm like, where am I going? But yeah, I will. But I got too excited. Can you please do it and tag me? Yeah. You could be going to LA next week. I'm like, where am I going? But yeah, I will. But I got really excited.

It was like, Sonic's on the no fly list. Oh, that's what it said? Something like that. I can't say if Sonic's on the no fly list. Sonic is a bad boy. I can't, he's a naughty boy. He's a no fly list. They're doing the buildings.

There's one with Shadow and Sonic. It's a whole building that just went up. That I'm like, oh my God. Where? I don't know, someone just send it to me. It has to be LA somewhere. That's fun. It's probably on sunset This is probably this is the coolest time here for like one month We're like you feel very important not important, but you feel like oh my god Everybody's getting ready for this movie because it's gonna be a holiday movie It was all gladiator for the past month of wicked and now we have like the next three weeks She'll be like we're gonna be everywhere.

That's exciting. Wait, did you see Gladiator 2? It hasn't come out yet. It came out today. You're seeing it tonight. It came out today. And I've never seen Gladiator 1. You gotta see it before you see the second.

No. Why not? I love not knowing what's going on. I saw Joker 2 and didn't see Joker 1. Really? Yeah, and I love Joker 2. Really? I won't stop talking about it.

I haven't seen it. It's great. Is 2. Really? I won't stop talking about it. I haven't seen it. It's great. Is it great? So why are people very mixed about it? I don't know. They saw the first one and they were like, I don't like the second one. Not you?

I didn't see the first one. So you love the second one. I had nothing to compare it to. I love it. I thought the acting was really great. Of course, they're great actors. And I thought it was made very beautifully. Oh yeah, I can't wait.

I can't wait to see it. I like the singing. What's your favorite movie of all time? Ghost. Second favorite movie. Sonic. No, what is your real second movie of all time? Sonic. Really? I think so.

I watch it a lot. I love you. I'm so happy. It's great. Do you think you've watched it over 10 times? Yes. Easily? Yes.

Yes. Sonic 2, how many times? Sonic 2 less because I really love the first one. Because it's the lonely aspect that you're connecting with. And I love an origin story. I watched Christian Bale's Batman for the first time last year, and I loved it. And people love the one with Heath Ledger.

I like it. Dark Knight is incredible. But the first one is so good. That's so funny. Scarecrow's in the first one? Killian Murphy? Mmm, yes. So funny, Scarecrow's in the first one? Killian Murphy? Yes. I simply was like, no.

Heath Ledger in the second one is unbelievable. He is great, but I just love an origin story. I get it, I totally get it. What's your origin story? What happened that made you want to be a comedian now you're a successful comedian? Other people. So- Doing what? I wanted to be an actress. You're an actress?

Well, I went to school for it and stuff. I went to a conservatory. Ever heard of one? Did you do plays and stuff? Yeah. What did you do? I did plays. The first play I did was Short Stories by Christopher Durang because there was like a bunch of people who auditioned and the theater teacher at the time was like, how can I get the most people in this? So we did that, and the first time I played the DMV lady in this DMV lady sketch where she was just not gonna help you. And I remember like the first laugh I got, I was like, oh my God.

The best feeling in the world. This is it, I love it. So then I went to theater school, and I really wanted to be like a serious actress, and my improv teacher there was like, you're very funny. And at the time, we were using improv as a way to get deeper in scenes, serious actress and my improv teacher there was like, you're very funny. And at the time we were using improv as a way to get deeper in scenes and I didn't know that improv was like

just a means to an end. And then I just, people kept saying I was funny. And then I literally Googled what do actors do when they're not acting and it was like improv. So then I Googled improv places in New York, the pit and UCB came up and I ended up taking classes at UCB and then that's it. That's crazy.

And I love it. Yeah. I love making people laugh is the best thing. And happy accidents on stage where you like say something. Anytime it's magic. It's just, it's so perfect. Magic is the best part of it. When people leave, they're like, I cannot believe that wasn't written.

Oh, that's my favorite. And people are like, wait, you guys didn't pre-plan stuff? And I was like, absolutely not, no. The best feeling in the world. Until they like really don't believe you and they're like, no, you did do it. I was like, no, we didn't, like, no, you didn't. Show me the scripts, come on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, you guys rehearsed, no, definitely didn't. So if the movies keep going. Yes, please. I think this one, we need to make a fourth. I would love to make a fourth, but I think it's very much on how much money the movie's making, obviously.

So hopefully this one makes a good movie. But do you think they'll have to like reboot it to keep Sonic a child? Cause if it keeps going, he'll be old. He'll be like 20. If you watch, he's getting a little bit older each time. He's not an adult, but he's growing up. Well, according to the internet,

he's 14 in the first, 15 in the second, 16 in the third. Is that true? According to the internet, I Googled it. Because I read- Should we call someone and see if it's true? Yes. Who do you wanna call? I don't know, your Sonic.

Should we call the director or Tyson Hess? Who do you think? The director. Okay, let's see. Should we call the director or Tyson Hess? Who do you think? Who do you think? The director. Okay, let's see. I also asked for like dirty messages hitting on me as part of the podcast. What is dirty messages hitting on me?

What does that mean? So people write nasty things hitting on me and I read them on the podcast and people know I love Sonic. So sometimes it'll involve Sonic in it. And I have to keep saying he is a child. You cannot do that. You just simply cannot do that. Okay, we texted Jeff, because he's literally... I think they just finished the movie. I just

did the DVD commentary yesterday. Me and Jeff did the DVD commentary each one. I'll ask Tyson, too. What a dream. Can we call Tails? I just texted her too. I'm texting everybody I can for you. Anybody else? Do you have Keanu Reeves' number?

I have only met him once. But this, when we go to London, I get to like, I said, is it possible to the wonderful Hadley at Paramount? I go, I just need to be paired with him for a couple interviews. Just give me a couple. And she's like, we'll see what we can do. And then she goes, she goes, okay. You're gonna be paired with him for a couple interviews. That's so nice.

Ugh, I love Keanu Reeves. I just saw Speed for the first time. For the first time? Yeah. It's a great movie. It's unbelievable. I just rewatched it again. There's so much action. I just literally rewatched it. I couldn't believe. Kans. That's my great movie. It's unbelievable. I just rewatched it again. There's so much action. I just literally rewatched it. I couldn't believe.

Cons. That's my favorite line. Cons? The bus is going fast. Yeah, of course. And there's a lady with like a stroller and then Sandra Bullock hits the stroller and she's like, oh no, a baby. But then you see a bunch of cans and Keanu's like no it was cons

Well in Sonic 1 there's a Keanu Reeves reference with speed do you know that we watch speed in Sonic 1 don't we I'm almost the movie that doughnut Lord Antica watch and he's in the window That's exactly right and I make a counter reference in the movie and now can was in our movie Yeah, that is fun Okay, do you want tails first? Did you want to have to Tyson? tails tails My god, what do I want tails to say to me join me plug in or I can just do this Colleen hi Colleen I'm with Nicole Byer, who is an incredible comedian and also an enormous Sonic fan.

And we were talking about you and how incredible you are. Aw, thanks. So is it possible? What do you want to ask Colleen? She's right here. I don't know. You're on the podcast also, Colleen. Is that okay, Colleen? She's right here. I don't know You're on the podcast also She's crying she's crying

Colleen she's crying But if you saw what she I wish you could FaceTime because if you saw what she looked like right now you'd lose your mind And I'm not even a child, I'm a full grown adult. She's a full adult. And I'm so happy. Do you have any questions for Colleen? I do that, I have that effect on people. I make people cry. In the best way ever.

Colleen, how did you become Tails? You know Colleen's been Tails for, or you know her as a Tails? Yeah, she's the original Tails. For years, I know. So I was auditioning for Sonic Boom, the series. Yes. And I auditioned, I got a call back and they said yes. And funny enough,

we recorded a video game first. Like I thought I was auditioning just for a series and bonus it came with the games. That's amazing. That's fun. Will you say something to me as Tails? Can you say, wow, Nicole? Sorry, she's crying. Give her a second Colleen. Will you say something to me as Tails? Can you say, wow, Nicole? Wait, sorry, she's crying. Give her a second, Colleen. Nicole, don't cry. It's just me. Don't be nervous. I get nervous all the time. Dear, she's... I mean, when you're not Sonic, it's your best friend. You know, it can be stressful.

Oh, Sonic is your best friend. You know, that can be stressful. You can't talk, and she's literally crying. And this is a grown woman. This is a grown woman wearing a Sonic hat. And also, by the way, one of the funniest people in the world that just happens to love Sonic. Like, it's not her. She has a whole life, and then in that life,

a big gem of it is that she also loves Sonic. Oh, I love that. You go into it. You're so seamless. She's been doing it for a decade SOT. Aww, I love that. You go into it so seamlessly. She's been doing it for a decade. Oh my god, what a dream. Colleen's coming to London. We're doing everything together in a couple weeks.

We're going to have the best time. I know, I can't wait. I'm so excited. It's going to be so fun. We shouldn't take up too much of Colleen's time. No, Colleen, thank you so much. That was really wonderful. Oh, you're welcome. No more Colleen, thank you so much. That was really wonderful. Oh, you're welcome. No more crying. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

You're so sweet. Oh my God, that was amazing. Thank you. Bye, Colleen. Yeah, I'm the flip-flop. Ah! Ah! Thank you, Colleen, you're the best.

Okay, thank you. Bye. I mean, that's very special. That's very special. I love that so much. You're literally dressed as Tails. So much. She's the nicest person in the universe.

It's the best. She's the nicest person in the universe. All right, we can ask Tyson about the age question if you want. Yes. Okay. He is, he knows everything about everything. How did that feel?

I really wanted it. Also, we could try to get him to draw you a Sonic thing because he did it for Sonic Mania. He is, he knows everything about everything. How did that feel? Also, we could try to get him to draw you a Sonic thing, because he did it for Sonic Mania. We'll see. I truly feel like a Make-A-Wish child. Hey, Tyson, I'm on a podcast right now, so are you okay with being on a podcast or no? Uh, sure.

Okay. It's when the coal buyer who is an incredible comedian and also an actress and podcast here. Oh, yeah, you go. What? Of course. Well, so Colleen. I'm sorry. So Nicole is an enormous Sonic fan. Like at the beginning, I thought it was a bit because she was coming so hard.

And now it's like I came into her podcast and there is like, hold on one second. You're breaking up real bad. Oh, sorry. Can you hear me now? There? Yes. Okay. So she's a very big Sonic fan. And so she had a question about Sonic canon, about the movies that I didn't know the answer to. And I want to know if you would know it,

you or Jeff would know it. So the question was in the films, Nicole said she read somewhere that Sonic is getting older, correct? Yeah. He starts off at 13? Yeah, he was 13-ish. We never gave him an actual age, but we won around 13, 12. And so then in the second one is he older and in the third one he's older or no? Is he always 12, 13? I mean, by the way, you're being recorded, so don't just wing it, kid.

No, no, I mean, logically, yes, he is getting older. Time is passing, but we're still never gonna give him a definite age. Oh, okay. You know, because I think a little bit of ambiguity, I think, helps kids. Because then they can think that they're that age, right? They can be whatever age they're age.

Like they could be your age. He could be your age. No, he's a child. We want him to feel like a teenager because young kids like to look up to teenagers and think, oh, teenagers are so cool. You know, so we like to give them a little bit of that, but giving them a definite age

kind of grounds him in a way that I don't think we actually want to do because he doesn't Act exactly like a 14 or 15 year old sometimes they're like he doesn't go to school So there's lack of human context in a human age like that, but he's a school of the world School of the world. Do you have any other can you have any canon questions? I know I be in the movie if you do it if you do another one I'm pitching pitch about you want to be in the movie? If you do another one, can I be in it? Pitch a boat you wanna be in the movie. Okay, I just wanna be a lady who is grocery shopping.

She bought a bunch of apples. Sonic goes by real fast and she goes, oh damn, that blue thing was fast, my apples. And then she picks them all up and then he goes by again and she's like, no, not my apples again, that thing too fast. Okay, so you don't have to answer now and I'm pushing her not to use that voice, but you don't have to answer now and I'm pushing her not to use that voice,

but you don't have to answer now, I just need you to marinate on that for a little bit, Tyson, okay? Sorry, I hate to break it to you, but we wrote that exact scene in the Sonic 4 already. Oh! And we cast it. Oh no!

I'm sorry, and we got the rock to do it, which we're gonna do it. Oh no! Why is he carrying all those apples? You know. That's it feels like the Rock. It feels more like the Rock. Yeah, I get it. And the Rock does that accent. You just did.

I constantly lose roles to the Rock. Yeah, you were supposed to be in Red One. I was also supposed to be in the Fast and the Furious franchise. That's crazy to me. You know? Well, Tyson, we really appreciate it. Thank you, Tyson. We're very appreciative. Thank you very much.

Of course. You're very welcome. Bye, buddy. I'll talk to you soon. Bye. Bye. Wow. We've got everybody. I don't think there's anybody else we can do. That Colleen one was very special, too. It was wonderful. She's so incredible at VO.

I can't explain it, but just hearing the voice, it's delightful. I went to a Simpsons table read once and got teary-eyed just hearing them read the script. Because I was such a big fan of the Simpsons and I heard them reading the script and I was like, oh my God, my whole childhood is here. Like everything I love about it, my life is here. I mean, we can go on forever. Well, we could, I guess I could wrap it up.

You don't have to. Do you wanna talk to Sonic? Oh my God. Do you have questions for Sonic? Do you wanna ask questions to Sonic? Oh my god. Do you have questions for Sonic? Do you want to ask questions to Sonic? You've talked to him once already. Okay. You have talked to him once.

Yes, I have. Let's see, what do I want to know from Sonic? Sonic? What's your favorite thing to do in your downtime? By the way, what if I did that Sebastian voice? I would die. That's where I break it up. I would just pass away. What's your favorite thing to do, Sonic, in your downtime?

In my downtime? No. Okay, I think back when I was living in the cave, one of my favorite things to do was read comic books. I'd read them all day. Just go through all the comics all day. But can I tell you something that I love even more? What? I love watching Nicole Byers do stand up comedy. No!

Sonic, I talk about inappropriate things. Well, I don't watch it. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I don't watch it. I like playing baseball with my friends Knuckles and Tails. I like trying to thwart Robotnik, if you don't know what I mean. And I love movies.

I love 90s movies. Wait. Have you ever seen Speed? I have seen Speed. I'm at those movies. Wait, have you ever seen speed? I have seen speed. How about those cans? Sonic I have a question. Yeah, how does it feel being a kid with an adult trying to kill you? You know, I never thought about it that way the way I think about it is I'm saving the world that whatever comes in my Ways and thing I try to fight so this new new movie, it's more of like a hedgehog. It's Shadow the Hedgehog.

The ultimate life form is kind of coming after me. Do you know what I mean? Do you care about Shadow? There you see her sitting there across the way. Boy, you got a lot to say, but there's something about her. Wah wah wah. And you don't know why But you're dying to dry

Sonic's gonna hug the girl That's better Kid, I'm a kid Yeah, you're a kid You can't be kissing nobody Especially with your first iteration of teeth Hey man, what did you just say? Well, we have come to the end, Ben

Okay I have to let you leave All right And I have things to the end, Ben. I have to let you leave. All right. And I have things to say. To me? No. Oh, do I not have a thingy? Is there a dirty message there?

Yeah. How dirty is it? It's clean. Okay. So I asked for people to write me dirty messages and they can send them to why won't you date me? Podcasts at gmail.com. This is what a lovely person wrote. Hi Nicole, I wanted to write to you

because sometimes I know you really love Sonic the Hedgehog and so do I. And I have a dream where it is night and I'm playing Sonic the Hedgehog Pocket Adventure on my Neo Geo Pocket Color. I don't know what that is. By the way, it's a different console and then it's the Game Boy version of that console.

Oh. It's the handheld version of that console. Keep going. It is night and there is a storm outside and I get really scared. But then you come into my room. We live together. We are platonic roommates.

And you- You're Nicole? And you offer to sit with me to make me less scared. And I go sit in your lap, not to bone bone or anything, just because you're warm. And you make my video game scariness go away. I keep playing my Neo Geo Pocket Color. It's blue, by the way, in case you were wondering, and your lap is really soft and warm. Even if you wanted to do the bone bone, I would say,

please, I do not want to bone bone right now. I'm trying to concentrate on my game, but I would seriously really like it because I think you're super pretty and have a pretty girl wanting to make bone bone. Who wrote makes me did you write this chat AI? Truly, that's what it feels like makes me juicy inside like I'm full of a million gold rings Just like Sonic before he gets hit by it a cat killer a cat or cat or a cat or killer sure Thank you for doing the podcast I love playing video games and I think of getting juicy in your lap and I also love Sonic like you do I think of getting juicy in your lap. What does that mean like you do. I think of getting juicy in your lap?

What does that mean? I don't know. Oh, that's not like a phrase of yours? I've never heard that before in my whole life. Have you ever coined a phrase here that people say? Juicy in your lap is not one of them? No, but I do say what a dream a lot. What a dream.

This has been a dream. Who texted? Colleen. She was so sweet. If I had been there in person, I wanted to give her a big hug. Well, tell her she's going to meet me at the theater. I had been there in person. I wanted to give her a big hug. Well tell her she's gonna meet me That is not the attitude you bring to a premiere Gonna get her I'm gonna get her. Thank you for doing this. It is my honor

I think you're a wonderful person. I tried to perform with you forever. I'll keep asking I don't know if you want to Ask now the Ask now. Ask now. The economy's doing poorly. She needs a job. But I think you're incredible. I also think you're incredibly funny. And I love how much you, I love people who love things and I love how much you love Sonic.

I love it. It makes me so happy. Thank you. I love loving things. And I like when people like things. And I think you're you love Sonic. I love it. It makes me so happy. Thank you. I love loving things. And I like when people like things. And I think you're so funny and wonderful. Have you been, I forgot to ask this, have you been to the Sonic the Headhawk Speed Cafe? Have you done it? I did. It was in Chino Hills.

Now it's in Katy, Texas. Sick that I know this. I don't know if it's still in Katy, Texas. There's a Sonic Symphony also. There's a concert that they're touring right now. That plays all the music from the video games. Well, I got to get there. That's great. But the Sonic the Hedgehog Speed Cafe...

What did you eat? I had a knuckle sandwich. It was just a chicken sandwich. It was pretty okay. But the mascot wasn't there. Like, Sonic wasn't there. Oh, you're gonna die at this premiere. Oh! This premiere, the red carpet is all the guys.

We're all there. And then I'll be there as a human too. I know that doesn't matter, but. No, it does matter. This is, I can't wait. Are you free? Are you gonna come? Yes, I'm coming. You gotta take pictures.

You gotta find me too. If I had a thing to do, I would cancel it. But let me tell you this. My boyfriend took me to the Sonic the Hedgehog Cafe. This is before he decided to actually date me, date me, which is wild. But he was like, yeah, I want this. This shows that this is the real deal. But we were driving back and he was like, one day I want to love something as much as you love Sonic.

Because I burst into tears when we got there. And truly it was in a sunglass hut. Like they spared all the expenses. And there was no Sonic, there was like nothing. There was like a bunch of children inside screaming and then me being like, hee hee. But I had a great time. It sounds incredible.

Ben, do you have anything you wanna plug? Yes, Sonic the Hedgehog is gonna come to, In America comes out on December 20th. I really hope people see it because at the end of this one You'll see how why I really want to make the fourth one so badly this movie's so good and it ends so well And it's so excited and then I am touring with Ben Schwartz and friends I start the new tour in January and we're doing it. We're playing everywhere. There are so rejected jokes comm Backslash tour we're playing these beautiful big venues. So, come if you can. It's me doing improv. Yeah. Thank you for the plug. Well, that's it, Ben.

This has been great. I'll see you on the 16th. Is that your catchphrase? No. I'm imagining it was. Thank you for having me. Bye-bye. You've been listening to Why Won't You Date Me with me, Nicole Byer. This show is produced and edited by Mars with executive producer Anya Kenovskaya. It's engineered by Casey Donahue with guest research by Lindsay Kemp. Our VP of content at Headgum is Katie Moose and And our Thief music is arranged by Mike Cometae. Ah, thanks for listening. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode.

See you then. Okay, bye bye. That was a Headgum podcast. Hey, hey, I'm Lamorne Morris. And I'm Kyle Shevrin. And we're here interrupting your workout to tell you about the La Morning After podcast, now on HeadGum. That's right.

Every Wednesday a new episode drops and we... Wait, Lamorne, what are you doing over there? It's nothing, just polishing my Emmy. Why? Because we're now the only official HeadGum podcast hosted by an Emmy winner. Is that true? Probably not. But Jake Johnson's on HeadGum. Does he have an Emmy?

No, but he has been a guest on The Little Morning After. Which might be an even bigger honor. I mean, and we have other amazing guests like Glenn Powell, Raven Simone, the cast of New Girl, and many, many more. Plus, we play games, we tell stories, we poll the fans for questions. We poll them for questions, Jesse. Just polling them constant I up and down

Sideways backwards. It's a lot less weird than it sounds You'll see subscribe to the morning after on Spotify Apple podcasts pocket casts or wherever you get your podcast and watch video episodes on YouTube New episodes drop every Wednesday