Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - How to Trick your Partner Into Better Taste (w/ Bobby Berk)

Episode Date: December 26, 2025

Emmy Award-winning interior designer Bobby Berk (Queer Eye, Junk or Jackpot?) joins Nicole to share the secrets of success behind his 22-year relationship. He discusses meeting his husband on Gay.com, his trick to manipulate a partner into having better taste, and the wild reason why everyone was throwing up during his marriage proposal. Plus, he explains why he refuses to give gifts or celebrate Valentine's Day, and why giving in to those societal pressures is actually the quickest way to ruin a relationship.Watch Junk or Jackpot? Premiering today on HGTV, streaming on HBO Max.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.NOCD: If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/DATEME.Wayfair: Every Style, Every Home.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description. This is a headgum podcast. We never poop in front of each other. I think that's a really big deal. I think that I, you know, all my other friends that have been a really long-term relationships

all have that same rule. That's a fun place. Like, that's not a... I simply cannot fathom that. Neither can I. Because when I'm shit and I'm going for the gold, I'm like a rhapsatat. Like, I'm fucking shit.

You're like, I'm shitting it. I am putting it in a Delta Airlines blanket. And I'm going to leave it for somebody. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Ooh, baby.

Welcome to another episode of why. Why won't you date me? A podcast where Meena Colbyer was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come in a mug and tell me it's a marshmallow. My guest today is an Emmy award-winning Intuiter designer who starred in the Netflix hit series Queer Eye. His new show, Junk or Jackpot, premieres today on HGTV. It's available to stream the next day on HBO Max and Discovery Plus. I'm so excited.

It's Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Pea? Oh, Beepoat Your Energy It's so good to be here I'm out of my mind How are you? You know what? That's my favorite type of people though

Hey, thank you so much I never want to be in my right mind I love just being a full-blown loony too No, being in your right mind is boring and it's not fun I love it. I like this sweatshirt Thank you. You know, it's Abercrombie, it's comfy, it's comfy.

It's like my Midwest roots. I love that. Yeah, I went through the closet today and I can, what can I wear today to look more gen Z? And it was this. Yeah, I think you do look very Gen Z. Can we talk about how brilliant they were with the baggy clothes? Because us millennials, we're like, oh, tight jeans, tight shirts.

But then finally one day I embrace this. I'm like, why haven't we been wearing this the whole time? Well, it goes in like ebbs and flows. I've been seeing teens who look like how I looked like when I was in middle school. And I was like, this is crazy. I love it. It's fun. It's fun.

I got my big shoes on. The teens are wearing a big stomp. I feel like you always got a little platform on and they're always cute. Yeah. I like a big stomper. Me too. These look like Brats doll shoes. I love that.

And it makes me very happy. I got them at a thrift store for $50. I think that's quite a steal. No, it's not. Goodwill's losing their goddamn mind. But they look brand new though. They were brand new, but they should be $2. I'm at a thrift store.

What are we doing? What are we doing? Hey, Goodwill is for profit. Do you know that? No. Goodwill's... Wait, no, I did know that. Yeah, Goodwill's actually for profit.

Goodwill's for profit. Yeah. But Salvation Army isn't. It's for Jesus. It's for Jesus? Yeah, which is also for profit. Jesus needs money. Wait, so your new show, junk or jackpot, you're helping people go through their homes.

Yes. And it's not like hoarders, right? I mean... Kind of sort of? Horters with money. Hoarders with money. Yeah. Horders with money.

So we find people that have crazy collections. And this was created by John Sina, because John Sina had crazy collections of his own. And obviously, he has a lot of fans who collect a lot of WWE. Is that what it's? They collect a lot of WM.E. But I'm like, no, that's an agency. Yeah, that's an agency. So he had this idea at dinner one night.

He's like, this would be a great show to find these people whose collections have taken over their lives. Because he was actually selling a big chunk of his one of his collections to fund a renovation. Oh. What was the collection, can you say? I can't, I don't. Don't tell that man's business. Yeah, I don't. Don't tell that man's business.

That was a bad question. It was terrible. And he wanted me to host it. So when John Cena asked you to host something, you're like, yes, please. Why not? And so we go. Yes, Daddy. I'm like, you can't see me.

As we go out, we find people with crazy collections. And it's, they've kind of taken over their lives. Not only have they taken over their homes, but they've taken over their lives. Some of them, it's destroyed their relationships. And like, why won't you date me? because you have too many Disney things in your house. And they need a change. So I go in and there's either like some big life event that's happened

or again, like a spouse has left them. And I help them kind of go through it. We bring it experts that figure out if anything they have is actually worth anything. Like Antique Road Show. Yes. So it's like Hoarders meets Antiques Road Show meets a design show. And pretty much every single one of them had treasures that are jackpots

that they were just blown away by. And then we use those funds after I pry them out of their cold dead hands and I use those for the renovations. And we do, it's not like, I don't redo their whole house, but I get their collection under control. I get the design aspect,

the organization under control. And it's a cute show. It's a lot of fun. That sounds like a nice time. I collect clothing. We actually, one of our collectors, collects clothing. Really?

Did she have any, like, fun designer find. So she has an archive. You might have even, like, rented stuff from her before. It's not too far from here. It's the Lido archive. And she has this massive house in the hills that is just filled with thousands and thousands of pieces.

Like Chapel Rhone wears her stuff. Otsko rented a dress for it. But it had taken over. It started out as just a few rooms in her home. And then her home became, her entire home became her business. And she recently had her girlfriend move in. And there was literally like a little corner in the house for her poor girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In my own. You know, so some people are like, well, clothing is not a collection. I'm like, it's. No, it can be. I have so much fucking clothing. The pieces she has were just amazing. And there were some dresses that were like worth $40,000, $50,000. That's not my collection.

I'm not going to give away if she sold some of those. No, no, don't give it away. The people need to watch. Make them do some work. Yeah. Make them pick up a remote. Do some, uh, some, um, some, some, um, some, some, Bicep curls.

Yeah, some remote calisthenics. Yeah, I don't have any treasures in my house, and I know it. It's just, it's sweatshirts like this that says, what does it say? Reading is something to cheer about. You know, it is. As we were talking about Rue earlier, reading is fundamental. Reading is fundamental. Do you think organization can, like, lead to fights in a relationship?

Or the organization or lack of organization? Yeah, lack of. Absolutely. Are you organized or are you messy? I'm definitely not messy. And I am organized in some aspects of my life, but being like very A-type Virgo that I am... When's your birthday? August 25th?

I'm August 29. We're both... That makes sense. I love that for us. But as you know, there's a lot of things like we don't let go of. Yeah. And I eventually had to be like, you know what? I'm not going to sweat if there's a pile of clothing on a chair in my bedroom.

I'm not going to sweat if this cabinet that... When I moved in and I shoved stuff in and I told myself, I'll get to it. And I haven't. Five years later. And that's okay. I'm not going to sweat it. That's okay.

As long as visually there is no chaos, I'm good. If the chaos is hidden, I've learned to let it go. Where before I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking about that cabinet and I would have to go organize it. And luckily, my husband is also like very, he's not messy at all, except with like water in the bathroom. I call him like a duck. This gets water everywhere. The nice man in my life also gets water everywhere. And I'm like, what are you doing?

Yeah. What on earth are you doing in there? Yeah, that's why I call him a duck. He's like, and I've seen him like when he washes his hands, instead of like shaking him in the, he'll go like this. That's insanity. Do you not see the water going? I see it, but he doesn't.

I guess water evaporates and people are like, whatever. And it leaves spots. Yes, and then I don't like the spots. How'd you meet your husband? We met on gay.com Yeah, 22 years ago Damn! So you were sitting at a computer?

Yes, yeah. It wasn't a most last, 20 years ago. No, we met three years before the first iPhone even came out And it's funny, speaking of phones, like 2007. Three years before the first iPhone came out. Our first week dating, he actually had to use a student loan money to pay my cell phone bill because my cell phone got shut off

because I couldn't afford to pay it. And I guess he was like, he saw potential. Wait, this is the first week of dating. This man's paying your phone bill? Yeah, he was like, why aren't you responding to me? I'm like, come on. My phone got shut off. You finesse.

My best investment he ever made. Why aren't you contacted me? I can't. Yeah, did you ghost me? No. No, I just don't. Sorry. My T-9.

No working. How did he figure out that your phone wasn't working? Do you like see you in person? Yeah, he came by. And you were like, he was like, what the fuck? And you were like, oh, no, I'd be too poor. Yeah, I was like, I'm, yeah, I'm poor. What was your first date?

Do you remember? It was a hookup. Yes, that's fine. Yeah, yeah. He actually came over to my place, but almost didn't come up because he forgot his phone. And he was too shy and embarrassed to go to the doorman and say, hey, I'm going to apartment 32B. Because in his mind, he was like, the doorman's going to know. He knows what I'm here for. He knows I'm here for the dick.

He set out on the street corner for like 45 minutes before he finally got the balls to come up. Yeah. And then you've been together ever since? Yeah, 22 years. 22 years is such a long time. Like, what's your secret to, like, longevity and a happy relationship? We prioritize each other. I prioritize him over everything and everyone else.

We never poop in front of each other. I think that's a really big deal. I think that I, you know, all my other friends that have been a really long-term relationship all have that same rule. that's a fun place like that's not a yeah I mean I don't want to be shit in front of my person

but I also have other friends that that do and I'm like that is I think that's really wild disgusting yeah and by like shitting and like you just mean like

door open or do you have friends where like the kink is I'm watching you shit yeah like walk by and kiss you on the forehead as you're doing your thing yeah I simply cannot fathom that neither can I Because when I'm shitting, I'm going for the gold.

I'm like, rhapsatat. Like, I'm fucking shit. You're like, I'm shitting it. I am putting it in a Delta Airlines blanket. And I'm going to leave it for somebody. Yeah, I'm working very hard. I don't want someone to kiss me and be like, huffing another one out. All of you who thought that was random as shit.

Just Google that interview. Yeah, I found poop in my blanket on Delta Airlines. One of my favorite interviews you've ever done with Godin. It's so wild that that happened. I was like, why me? Why did I do this? Why did I do this? Why did this happen to me?

The Lord puts things in our lap. He works in mysterious ways. That will turn into really great interviews. Oh my God. I was just flying back from Chicago and it snowed. And you would think a place where it snows a lot, everyone at the airport would know how to handle it. Nobody fucking knew how to handle it.

No, no, you never fly through Chicago in the winter. My God. You fly American. No. United. Yes. Houston in the summer. Uh-huh.

Chicago in the winter. Well, I have to go to Chicago in the winter because that's where my family lives. I got to go see them for fucking Thanksgiving. I wish I could make the mood. The only times I've ever been stuck overnight because of storms is always Chicago. I boarded a united plane

and then we taxied for three hours and I fell asleep. And I was like, did we land? You wake up, you're like, still snow. Then we got off the plane. They have to. They said, we're going to fix it. We got back on the plane

because there was like computer problems and the computer problem was just a sound going stall, stall, stall before takeoff. That's scary. Yes. I was like, stall. Stall the plane. When you fly every once in a while, do you ever hear that like that loud beeping coming from the cockpit?

Yes, what's happening? And then it goes stops and you're like, okay, they woke up. I guess we'll be okay. Then we got off the plane, they fixed the malfunction. We got back on the plane and then it said stall, stall, stall again. So then we got off the plane. Then I got on another plane. I boarded it up three times. Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill them all.

Kill them all. Do you travel well with your husband? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't used to. Oh, tell me about that. Because I am, again, Virgo. Yes. I fly a lot. You get it. There's, you know where you need to be, how quickly you need to be there, where you need, you just, you know, to make your life easier. He is a happy, go lucky, like what to do. Let me go wander off. And then I'm like, it's time to board. If we don't get there. And if we don't get there now, we're going to be in the line on the jet bridge. There's not going to be any overhead.

But now he's just conceded. And he knows that my way is best. Do you remember, like, any bad dates that you had when you were in your, like, 20s? So I was definitely one of those people that I would, like, go on at a date. And then I'd, like, I'd be in a relationship. Oh. I was, like, very. Well, looking back, it was always because I kind of dated losers that needed places.

to live. And so they'd come to spend the night and would never leave. Yeah, I would never leave. So I, everyone like went out on like date dates. I went out on a few. I remember this one date I went out on in New York and the guy just like talked about himself the entire time never asked me one question about myself. And I'm like, oh, this is why I don't date. I always think it's wild when you go out on a date with somebody and they don't like ask you a question about yourself because It's like, don't you want to get to know me? Yeah. You asked me out on this date.

Don't you want to, like, know where I grew up, anything? Yeah. No, this guy was just like me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. And those people usually aren't that fucking interesting. No. No, I'm like, I'm pretty sure everything you just told me was a lie. Ooh, and a liar. Yeah.

I kind of like when people lie. Like, I kind of like it because then you can, like, ask, clarify. questions and then you have to like watch them scramble to try to answer it and it's like I had a moment like that recently was somebody I was working with and I just I found out some information I just knew that he was just a line out of his ass really and so I kept asking him in different ways and he kept answering in different ways and then trying to change the subject and I'm like I'd give a five more minutes and I'd bring it up again and you're like all squirming and finally I'm like I'm just going to let I'm going to let it go I'm not going to keep killing him but

I'm like, now I know he knows. I know. I just love it. I love catching people in lies. It's so fun. I feel like a little detective, you know? Bobby, real quick, we got to take a break. You know, when you're scrolling through social media, you see a cute couple, and suddenly you start to spiral.

You start thinking, why don't we look that happy? Do I actually love my partner? Or maybe you're on a perfectly fine date? but your brain randomly starts comparing them to your ex or someone you saw on hinge, and you start panicking, thinking, what if they aren't the one? If those thoughts are all consuming, you might be dealing with relationship OCD. We tend to think of OCD is just about being neat, but it can latch on to things we care about the most, including our love lives.

It creates a loop of doubt where you are constantly checking your feelings to make sure you love them enough, and it's exhausting. But it is highly treatable with no CD. They use a specialized therapy called ERP exposure and response prevention. In live face-to-face virtual sessions, a licensed therapist will teach you how to take the power away from those intrusive thoughts so you can actually enjoy your relationship. Therapy with no CD is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans. So if you think you might be struggling with relationship OCD, don't wait, visit nocd. to book a free call with their team.

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So do you have advice for single people? I know you've been in a relationship for 22 years. Yeah. So you haven't been single in a minute. I forget what it's like to be single. I do know that I would be terrified to date in this. day and age. Yeah. Yeah. It was tough in those streets. Yeah. It was like

swiping, sucks. The lies, the deceit, the catfishing, the yeah, I would be scared. Keep yourself open. Say yes, and I know it can be hard to keep yourself open, especially if you've had awful dating experiences, which so many of my girlfriends have and boyfriends. But yeah, just keep yourself open. Don't allow yourself to be jaded. Which I guess is easier said than done, but...

It is easier said than done. My mom used to always say it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile. And I always think of that when I'm like, like, mad. And I'm like, this is a little easier. Girl, what I just noticed is you have this beautiful, completely smooth head. And when you just... Yeah, but it moves. And I was like, you don't even have Botox.

And you have a completely smooth forehead. I hate you. That's really funny that you cloths that I don't have... Botox. Yeah, I was like, her whole forehead just moved when she did that. But when she stopped moving it, there's no wrinkles. I hate you. Black don't crack.

Black don't crack. Yeah, I just, I, do you do Botox? I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where do you put it? Forehead. And, but I still move. You can still move it.

My husband's a doctor. He does it for me. Oh. And I don't do it constantly. Like, if I'm filming, I don't, I won't do it because I want, you know, we all know those people on TV that don't move. Yeah, but have literally no expression. Yeah, it's like Pam from True Blood, remember, you obviously don't know me.

My bitch face is the same as my happy face. That's just like a lot of people now. So when I'm filming, you know, it's as long as I know when I'm filming, I will not do it before. But then, like, when I wrapped Junk or Jat Pot, I'm like, ooh, I got some grand canyons. You got to get some of Boat. Fill me up, Daddy. Are you watching All's Fair? No, what's that?

Okay, it's Kim Kardashian's new show. Oh, no, I haven't. I'll tell you something. It's the most fun I've been having in a very long time. But Kim is filled to the brim with Botox. And her reaction shots are so funny to me. She's like, I object. Yes.

And then I'm like, why are we using her reactions? She can't react to anything. Oh, but I mean, it works. I mean, it's working for me. I'm having such a nice time watching it. I can't recommend it enough. It is so campy. Everyone's in a different show.

I hear the reviews I read are horrible. Yeah, people don't like it, but I'm having a great time. People that talk about it, like, say it's great. I love it. So I feel like a lot of publications, like, want to hate Kim. Yes. I get it. But I hear a lot of people are enjoying watching it.

I mean, she wears a full suit with a thong showing. What are we doing? That's fun. That's really fun. You lost me. You lost me. I don't get thongs. I don't get them either.

No, my butt's hungry. So, like, I feel like if I'm putting something in there, gonna go yeah yeah yeah I just I like if I have underwear that's stuck in my butt like it's the most uncomfortable why would I want like purposely do that to myself and some people only wear thongs and I'm like

what are you fuck I'm like maybe they just don't have hungry booties and like it's fine it just like lays there the most uncomfortable thing in the world to me is a pair of underwear wedged up my ass I simply don't like it yeah yeah I don't get it so yeah you lost me as a designer and having a partner, did you come together on what your house looks like?

No. I have molded my husband into having good taste, both fashion and for home. When we met, he did not know how to dress. And now, honestly, he dresses better than I do. His fashion sense is better than mine. He's very stylish now.

And his home decor, it just was non-existent. And again, he was like a, And again, he was like a poor college student, you know, though there was no money to do anything anyways. But even back then, as a poor person, I still figured out how to make things look cute. But yeah, so his design aesthetic is my design aesthetic. Yeah, he doesn't know that.

Don't tell anybody. Secret to say here. He thinks he's, yeah. And I've learned that because used to he didn't care, he had no opinions, he didn't want to be a part of the decisions, but now he wants to. And so I've learned just to give, yeah, I've learned just to give him three choices, two being really bad, and one being the one I would choose. And so that way, don't tell anybody.

Don't tell. That's so funny. That's a funny way to trick somebody. But then what do you do if he picks the terrible one? He wouldn't. But what if he done? No, I've molded his taste. Yeah.

Okay. All right. I think that's so funny. Here's two disgusting options And then here's the one that That's beautiful I do that in not just with him So many different aspects of my life

Yeah I love it You're like what I do is trick I'm a little trickster Yeah Yeah You learn how to Steer things in the direction

That you want them to go in Who proposed to who so i got us rings back because we got married in 2012 i got us rings in probably like 2009 but it was illegal to get married so it's like why yeah we just didn't so when it was technically legal for us to get married he proposed and it was a surprise proposal of course but it was also a surprise wedding the same day and i had no idea and the night before we were at our friend's house in cabo and the night before at her house there's always this big bag of weed in the freezer it's just been there for years and we've never touched it like i'm not i'm honestly not a big weed person like it just it makes me

yeah i'm not it's not for me um i get very in my head and that's not where it's not a fun place to be there i guess but that year i'm like i'm gonna make some pop brownies and i was like this weed's old so i probably should use a lot because i assume that's that's way we're the way it works. And so I put a ton and I boiled in oil. I did it the right way and I put the oil in these brownies and I made everyone eat a piece like this big. Worst drug experience of my entire life. We almost like called an ambulance. We were so messed up. Like I was scooting across the floor because the gravity of the earth was so strong. I couldn't stand up. my husband was like running around the house seeing bunny rabbits and throwing up and it was just a horrible thing and so we were supposed to go on this catamaran the next morning on the sea of Cortez sailing and I finally wake up and I'm like I can't get on a boat I can't even walk but everyone was like no you let we need to do this and so I'm like oh you know and that was a point in my life where I'm like sailing on the sea of Cortez was not at all

a normal occurrence. So I'm like, okay, I should do this. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. So we get on the boat. Again, we're all just messed up still. And the sale comes out. And the sale on the sale was the logo of my company, Bobby Burke Home, and then also W-Y-M-M.

And I'm just like, I was still so high. I couldn't figure out what W-Y-M-M meant. And then I turn around and Dewey's on one knee, but then proceeds to lean over the side of the boat and throw up. And then everyone throws up. So that was my proposal. Everyone's throwing up. Luckily, I wasn't. But then I, of course, said yes.

And we go back to the house. And I'm thinking about when we're going to have the wedding. And as the doors open, the wedding's there. The wedding's happening. Friends are there waiting. Oh, my God. What have you said no? I'm still stoned.

I mean, at that point, we had been together for eight, nine years. At that point, like, I wasn't going anywhere. It would have been funny, though, if you were like, no, no, thank you. And then get back to the house and it's like, oh, you're all here. Well, I said no. Cake for everyone. Wait, was it all catered and stuff, too? Oh, my God.

This is wild. Yeah. That's lovely. Luckily, our friend whose family's house it is, she had also gotten married there before and divorced. And, like, her wedding coordinator was still around, like, all the decorations that she used. Wait, was it like a recent wedding? And then she was like, I think her wedding had been like four or five years before.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. So not super recent. God, that's so funny to be like, huh, I have all this stuff here. Yeah, we can just, yeah. Do you want to wear my dress? We could do whatever. It was like, it was at the Palmina, down in Cabo.

Yeah, it was great. God, that's so lovely. I love that you were proposed to and then married truly in the same day. That's so wild. And there was a split second where I was like, he stole my wedding from me. he stole my wedding from me. Because, again, I'm a planner where Virgo's, like, and I'm like, but then that quickly turned to, oh my God, and thank God he did.

I don't want to have to, I don't want to plan a wedding. Because weddings, I mean, weddings are for everybody else. Weddings are for family. They're for friends. I mean, don't get me wrong. There are some people who are like, oh, my God, the only thing I want is like to have a big, beautiful wedding. And it is for them.

But for the most part, to me, I'm like, it's for all the guests. You plan all these things for the guests. And I'm like, I don't like people. Like, I don't want, like, there is maybe a handful of people I want, and they were there. And I'm like, that's it. Like, I'm autistic. I don't like crowds. Loud noises.

Dancing, dancing. Yes, that's terrible. It's my worst nightmare. I hate going to weddings. I'm sorry to all of our friends, but I hate going to weddings. And the moment everyone's like, it's time to dance. I'm like, JVN and Jonathan gave me such a horrible complex about dancing because it's like, interesting that's like little scenes in between scenes where we'd be dancing those would be like

12 hour days and anthony and i were not the best answers we could dance but not you know not like them and they would they would make fun of us and so now i'm just scarred now i'm i won't i won't dance i got to say yeah let's stop making fun of people dancing or singing or like showing joy because i don't know you don't have to have rhythm to have a nice time i love why i love why watching people with no rhythm dance. That's fun. And the thing is, like, back of the day, I used to get told they're like, oh, you got, like, girls would be thinking,

you got a lot of rhythm for a white boy. And you were running with it. Yeah, I was like, yes. And then they were like, no, you don't. And you're like, oh, my God, okay. Oh, things just keep getting better. I will say, I do love at a wedding when it gets like a little late and then like back that ass comes out.

And I'm like, ooh, we got it. We got it. I have excused myself long before that. Really? Yeah, I'm like, my dog needs to go out. Fair. Fair. I love nothing more than drinking free drinks at a wedding,

eating a nice one-ish dinner, and then dancing. I think that's fun. I don't even really drink anymore, so I'm just like, get me out of here. I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I drink. Yeah. Sometimes too much.

I just had an adventure on Sunday where I ended up at a lady's house at 3 a.m. Did, were you invited? Oh, yeah. Yes. Okay. It would be wild if I was just like, let me in. I ended up at a random man. Let me in.

I'm drunk. No, I went to a second location with two nice, 20-year-olds. We had a seven-hour layover in Hong Kong the other day on purpose because we wanted to go in and like have dinner with some friends. And I started drinking at pre-drinks and then at dinner. And then we went out and then at the lounge back at the airport. And then I got on the plane and I'm like, I'm just going to take a little nap. And I woke up.

I was like, why did they turn the lights on in the middle of the flight? No, I slept 14 hours. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, this was great. Yeah. So I'd still will every once in a while. Every once in a while, you're like, let me have a nice time and I'll sleep it off on the plane. Yeah, yeah, it was great.

That's lovely. I love falling asleep on the plane and then waking up, being like, we did it, we landed. We all did it. Like, now we just, yeah, the best part of a plane is sleeping. I agree. And some people really like to enjoy a plane and, like, watch a movie. I'm like, get real. So when I first started being able to sit up front.

I'm like, oh, I'm getting every penny's worth. I'm going to eat all the food. I'm going to watch all the movies. I'm going to do everything. And now I'm like, no. I do wake up for the food. I don't know how it happens, but I will wake up. Do I hear my dinner?

Give me my dinner. I want my chicken. I've gotten to where now I'm leaving like, don't wake me. No. I'm always like, wake me up for the cookie. Depends on the airline. What airline do you want to be awoken for? Cathay Pacific.

Okay. Qatar Airways. Oh, that's fun. I haven't flown guitar. I've seen, I've seen reels. Yeah, yeah. Singapore Airlines, which partners with the United. I love it.

You're like, not nary a domestic one can wake me up. No. The domestic divas are not good. They're very, very bad. I mean, I only fly American in the States, for the most part. And their food is not bad. Yes, it is. I'm not an American girly.

Heard it here first. Fuck you American. I love them. They take very. Very good care. They take garbage care of me. Well, I'm sorry. Okay.

United takes better care. Or did you only fly United because you're going to Chicago? So from L.A. to Chicago, there is no Delta. It's United or Southwest or American. And American fucked me too many times, so I will not fly them. Who do you normally fly then? Delta. I'm a Delta Diamond Diva.

So we were the safety video for Delta. The Fab Five and I. Wait, were you? It was supposed to launch June 2020. COVID. Needless to say, no one was on a plane. We even filmed an episode that just lived on their infotainment center. Like, we went into Philly.

We made over a Delta employee at the airport. But I made them fly me to Atlanta on American to fill the safety video. I'm obsessed with you. And I ended up running into Doug Parker, the former CEO of American. I was having dinner with him at some gala in Dallas. And I was telling him the story. And he was like, just a second. And he pulls out his phone.

He calls the CEO of Delta and he's like, so I hear one of the fab five... He called Ed? Ed Baskin. I hear one of the fab five made him, made you fly him on me to come film your safety. Of course, like, they're all friends. They're all that he's like, ha, ha, ha,

and like hung up the phone. I love that the Sky Daddies are all friends. Yeah, they've all worked together at some point. I guess so, yeah. Coming up together, flying around. I will usually only fly American. I'm conciergeers community with them, so. Ah, you're the highest.

I was Delta 360, but they took it away. Delta, so when Delta, when we filmed that safety video, like, they gave us status and some miles, but they wouldn't give us 360. And I'm like, match what I have with American and maybe I'll consider. And maybe I'll go over there. Yeah, but they wouldn't. They're like, no, Diamond. Ed really fucked up. Yeah.

Big mistake. Isn't that a while that I know Ed's name? Why do I know his name? We fly a lot. Yeah, but I've never met the man. But I'm sure, I think he's in some of the safety videos and, yeah. Oh, probably. Yeah, that's probably why you know.

Yeah, I probably subconsciously have just seen him on the safety videos. I can't say I don't know the name of the new American CEO, but the old one, Doug Parker, I know. What's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to you? Getting proposed to while getting, well, throwing. Well, throw it. Yeah, yeah. The most romantic thing that's ever happened to me. So my husband and I are not very romantic. Oh.

We don't, yeah. Like, again, like our form of intimacy and the reason why our relationships work is because we put each other first. Like, I don't say, hey, I'm going out with friends. Peace out. Like, I don't remember the last time we did something without each other. Like, we're always like, because of work, we're not with each other a lot. But when we're with each other, we are with each other. We don't do separate things, like, but we also, like, I haven't gotten him a present in 20 years.

Like, we don't do birthdays. We don't do holidays. We don't do Valentine's. We don't put those societal pressures on each other that the world puts importance on or, like, puts pressure. Like, oh, if you don't find the perfect restaurant on the perfect gift for Valentine's Day, he's a worthless man. No, like, why are you judging him on that type of shit? like you need to judge him on if he shows up for you like if he supports you if he is encourages you not if he forgets stupid anniversary or valentines day like that is not how the

character of a man like granted those could be some tall-tail signs but i don't think so um so yeah we're not the so you've never really like celebrated valentine's day or like an like you've just never been like that oh interesting that we do not put those pressures on each other like I'll randomly get him something, but to us, we don't want to spend money on things. If we spend money, it's on experiences, trips that will do together. Like, if people are like, oh, well, that must be nice to have money to travel, yes, but if you didn't spend money on Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, anniversary gifts, Valentine's Day gifts, girl, you could go on a vacation.

Yeah, I mean, you're right. Yeah. And the time that you're getting to spend uninterrupted time with your significant other, no kids, no work, no friends, no family, is worth far more than getting the perfect table for Valentine's. Don't put stupid pressures on him or her or them, are they? I like that. I think that's smart. I, for Christmas, when does this come out? December 26. Yeah. Oh, day after. So yesterday was Christmas. And I was like, what do I get this nice man in my life? And I was. was like racking my brain and we've been together like almost two years and I was like I'm running out of like ideas to get him stuff because I get him stuff all the time like when I travel I like going thrifting that's one of my favorite things so I'll like pick out a shirt or something if you see something that makes you think of him yes yeah like I got him a shirt it says Miller light and it

has glitter on it and he was like I think this is a women shirt and I was like no it's a boy shirt and he wears it but it's definitely a women's shirt Like it's really tight, babe. But yeah, silly things like that. Then we, like, giggle about it because, like, I got him this thing that definitely doesn't fit. Definitely was not made for him. But, like, he likes it because I gave it to him and I thought of him. And then for Christmas, I was like, I genuinely don't know what to get him.

And I think he's at the point where he's like, I don't know what to get her either. So I think we're just going to not do gifts. Yes, don't put those pressures on each other. I think those are some of the pressures that can really ruin a relationship. Again, gifts are lovely if you're getting the gift because it is just something that, oh, this reminds me of the person I love, and I know that this is going to make them smile. Yes. But not like, oh, God, I've got to, it's Valentine's Day. Oh, I've got to, I've got to do better than all her girlfriends are getting.

No. Like, that makes that person resentful. It makes you disappointed because your expectations are often always going to be higher than reality. Just don't do that. I will say on Valentine's Day. I do want flowers, and I'll text his sister to be like, tell him to get me flowers. And then this year I'll probably just text him and be like, I would like flowers on tomorrow on Valentine's Day. I'm like, I don't need to circumvent it.

I can just be like, I want them. Yeah, if you want something, why make him guess and then be disappointed that it wasn't exactly. Just, just tell him. Just tell him. He's going to be so much happier with that. One of the hardest things I had to learn was like, oh, if I don't just. say what I fucking want. How will he ever know?

He can't read my mind. Although I do 22 years expect my husband. To kind of know what's up. If I'm struggling with something, don't make me ask for help. See that I need help. Yeah. Yeah, after 22 years. But he's like, why don't you just ask me?

I'm like, why don't you just open your eyes? Open your fucking eyes. I'm like, when you're driving, which never happens because I don't let it. You know, I'm the navigator. Yeah. When I'm driving, you're just like, I'm a bad navigator. He is, yeah. I'm so bad.

The only fights we have, not the only, but predominantly, the only fights we have is in the car due to some navigational thing. Because he'll, like, it usually happens in rental cars if there's like not car play or something where I can just have it on the screen and deal at myself. And then someone has to listen. Yeah, and he'll do this thing where he won't hit start. He'll just look at where we are.

And he's like, oh, you need to turn left. appear. And I'm like, and he won't be paying attention and we'll miss that left. I'm like, just hit start. Just let her tell me. And then it's my responsibility if I don't hear her. But why won't you hit start? I don't want to hear it. He doesn't want to hear her. Same. The nice man in my life doesn't want to hear it. I'm like, but they're telling you where to go. Yeah. And you'll miss an exit. Why do you want this responsibility? Because you know, you know you're going to miss it. You know we're going to get in a fight. Yes. It doesn't make any sense. Just let the lady tell us. Mine's a guy. He hasn't done that in a while. Yeah. I.

I am, mine's a South African guy Oh But for years I had it on Indian English Because I love that accent It's one of my favorite accents But what I didn't know is When you have Siri on a different accent That's also your voicemail

Is it really? It is And so one day my friend Amy She was just like Oh my God, your Indian voicemail Is so weird Why do you have that? I was like, wait

What? Oh my God That's really funny My voicemail has had an Indian accent all this time like, I am so sorry. That's very deeply funny. I just love it as my navigation.

I think it's so endearing. I wonder if my voicemail's a man. Is what, yeah. Huh. Yeah, it's a man. Leave a message. I don't know. I don't know what a voicemail thing sounds like.

Right. I'm like, if you're leaving a voicemail, I'm like, fuck you anyways. Yeah. Leave me. I like voice notes. I send people voice notes. Long ones. And sometimes I'm like, is this a podcast episode?

Like, I historically hate them. I'm like, this is a voicemail. And voicemails, we don't, we're millennials, we don't do that. But recently I've started to embrace them a little more. I love them. Yeah. Give me all the information. I was more speak to text person.

I'm like, I will speak to text if I have something really long to do. But I have gotten a little voice memoe now. I love it because then you get to hear like the feelings people are having. But I'm often in a place where I can't listen to it. I'm like, I need to just read it. And then I'm like, oh, well, you've lost my attention. And sometimes you'll forget to hit keep. And then I'm like, and now it's just gone.

I'm like, eh. Mine just stay on, okay, for the longest time, I, the whole keep thing, keep just means you listened to it. Or is it like keeping the- So no, voice memos will just go away after two minutes unless you click on keep. Mine don't. Maybe that's a setting I can change.

Maybe. Huh. I simply don't know. But whenever I saw Keep, I thought people were like keeping them and saving them. No, the keep is to keep it in the, Yeah, it just keeps it in. I thought they were like going to a special place and they were like saving them and listening to them again and again and again,

which is psychotic. I think one of the things that has made me embrace them a little bit more, though, is now it transcribes it so I can read it. When before, like the only option was to listen to it. Bobby, I want you to embrace listening to people's emotions and feelings in a voice note. I promise you'll have a lovely time. Get some earbuds, put them in. I'm like, I don't want to hear you.

I don't watch video. I will watch everything with subtitles. If there's a news article that I click on it And it's actually a news video I'm like, nope I'm on the spectrum Like I don't I like quiet I get it

Yeah I'm the opposite Give me loud Give me noises Give me bangs What's like a red flag In a person A red flag in a person

Yeah Narcissism Yeah we know some like Biggest narcissist in the world Yeah reading um yeah um yeah a bit wreck flat i mean talking too much about oh being the victim ah always being the always being a victim and a problem they created we know some of those too oh abstitute of loose where i'm like oh my god so you're the victim in this you've created

this situation. And now I have to listen to you, talk about it for 45 minutes, uninterrupted. Oh, you're the victim because you got called out. Yeah. Yeah. I think those are good flags. People that are always a victim and a problem that they've created. Huge red flag. I'm like, that's a huge big red checklist in the checklist of clinical narcissist. Yeah, I agree. Wow, Mooney. Sorry about that. No, all good. All good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, and we host the show, what's our podcast here on Headgum?

But we want to make sure you heard about a very special episode with a very special guest that we just released in the feed. Yeah, it's in the feed. It was sponsored by Squarespace because they were appalled. We didn't have a website for our show yet. They were like, you don't have a website? What are you guys? Kindergarteners?

They wanted to do something about that. So we built a flawless, beautiful, perfectly designed website live on the pod with our very special guests and very web-savvy guests. Should we tell them who it was? Let's, but we could play 20 questions. I don't think we have time for that. Is it person? No, it's not.

It's Finn Wolfhard. But Finn had a bunch of great ideas for the website. Beck, you had some amazing ideas for the website, too. You had some amazing ideas for me. Well, I was sort of driving the thing. I was sort of like clicking and... And I was like, let's put a little... Let's put some widgets in there.

I was talking about widgets. You get done using that phrase widgets. Yeah, there's all sorts of stuff there. And you might want to check out the hippo. Just go check out the website. Just know that there's a hippo video and know that you're going to want to watch that. We had a lot of fun making this episode. We had a lot of fun making this website. Best time of my life. I think you're going to have a fun time listening to it

and maybe watching it. Think of it as our little Christmas present to you. Yeah, yeah. This is a gift for you. It's just like, it's a selfless thing we did for you. Thanks to Squarespace for making us build a website, sponsoring the episode, and for supporting creators across the Headgum network. Go check out the bonus episode. What's our website from what's our podcast on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts? Go to Squarespace.com slash Beck and Kyle for free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code, Beck and Kyle. Yes, sir. To save 10% off your first purchase of a website domain. Get it, Kyle. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University. Okay, listen, I know so many

people who keep saying they want to make a big change. Go back to school, switch careers, start something new. And if you've ever thought about getting into health care or leveling up in it, you really should know about Chamberlain University because they've been preparing health care professionals for over 130 years. And they're the largest nursing school in the entire country. Learning is actually built for real life there. You can choose from online programs, hybrid setups, or even in-person classes if there's a campus near you. And classes start every eight weeks so you don't have to wait a whole year to begin. You can just start when you're ready. They have faculty and mentors who actually check in, guide you, and help you stay right on track, giving you real support at every stage.

So if you've been feeling it's time for something different in your career, Chamberlain wants you to know, you've got this and we've got you. Learn more at chamberlain.edu. Chamberlain University belong to something greater, certified to operate by Shev. Well, Bobby, we've come to the end. I have a question for Bobby. Oh. Can I ask? Okay.

Yes. So I really liked junk or jackpot. I watched the episode. I saw a screener yesterday and I could have watched 10 more episodes. It was so great. I really wanted to binge it. You're basically like fixing a lot of these relationships between couples because like otherwise, like they might have broken up if they couldn't live together.

And so I want to know if you have any advice for couples looking to move in together, especially if someone's like a maximalist and the other person's a minimalist. Do you have any advice on how they could kind of integrate well with making everyone happy? That's a good question. So I should have asked. Um, so whoever has the best taste wins, no. I always say, if you can, try to at least come together on like a color story, you know, try to find at least a color that you guys can agree on and kind of try to design around that.

And be willing to edit, be willing to give three choices to being bad and one being the one you want. years ago, I was giving a lecture and I had this woman in the end kind of asked a similar question. She goes, so I've been dating this guy and it's amazing. We've been dating for years and I know I want to marry him, but it drives me crazy because he has zero opinions on like the home and like what it looks like. And he could care less and it's so important to me. And she's like, what should I do? I'm like, marry him.

I'm like, that's great. Something that you really love to deal with. Couldn't care. Do whatever you want to do, babe. And she was like, oh, I always looked at it as a negative, but she's like, you're right. It's a huge positive. Yeah. Dur.

Yeah. My worst fear is dating somebody who has input on how I decorate. Yeah. Yeah. That's what was so great about doing the beginning. It had no input. And then all of a sudden you got opinions. We're going to have to nip this in the bud.

Yeah. I would be so sad if someone was like, I don't like your leopard print wallpaper. I'm like, I don't walk into your ORs and tell you how to do certain. You know? I could because I don't say no. And we're right. We're done. The timer has said we have finished.

Bobby, I ask all of my guests this. Would you date me? Of course. Yes. Virgo power. Virgo power. And what would you like to promote, Bobby? Junker Jackpot premieres today on HGTV, HBO Max, and Discovery Plus.

Honestly, I love Discovery Plus. I think it's wild that it's still around and I still use it. Well, anywho, if you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you could like it, you could rate it, you can subscribe and give me five stars on Apple Podcasts. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me to Why Won't You Date Me Podcasts at gmail.com, I will read it. And then keep them short, please, no novels. This person writes, hello, hello, hello. I would like to make you a purple food buffet. Purple cabbage, purple potatoes, plums, purple peppers, purple green beans.

You have to eat them raw, though, because they stop being purple after they're cooked. How dare they leave out eggplant? I mean, the best of the purple vegetables. I would get the most purply ones for you, eggplant, purple cauliflower, purple grapes, maybe a purple artichoke, passion fruit is purple so you can have that too. Purple carrots, Ube, Figs, the purple kind. There's purple corn too. Blackberries, despite the name, I think it would be nice.

Colobre? I don't know what that means. Yep. And you're going to like it so much because it'll all be prepared perfectly for your taste buds by one chef. You keep talking about that you like Wolfgang. I do. I love Wolfgang. Even the ones you think you're not going to like, you're going to love. Also, maybe we jerk it after. I don't know. Thank you. Goodbye. That was a HeadGum podcast Hi, I'm Nicole Byer. Hi, I'm Sashir Zameda. And this is the podcast, Best Friends. And we're here at HeadGum. So this is just a podcast where we just talk.

Yeah. We're best friends. We talk. And then we have a segment where we answer questions and queries. So audience and users can ask questions about friendships. and we can answer them to the best of our abilities. Yes. We are professional friends.

We are professional friends. Subscribe to Best Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcast, PocketCast, or wherever you get your podcast and watch videos on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday. That's the middle of a work week. I was deeply unhelpful to you during that whole thing. You were. I'm really sorry.

I felt the support. I was so, okay. I was trying to be supportive. Yeah. But I was like, well, know reading seems pretty hard right now it's a lot i think you did good thank you so much you're welcome