Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - If You See It, You Can Be It (w/ Kirby Howell-Baptiste)

Episode Date: June 26, 2020

Actress Kirby Howell-Baptiste (The Good Place, Barry, Why Women Kill) discusses the rise in "Karens", managing life after death, and the reality of the Black experience. Plus, they share personal stories of racial bias, the importance of seeing representation in media, and how to raise a new generation of active allies.Check out @black.owned.everything on Instagram or officialblackwallstreet.com for a list of Black-owned businesses near you.Follow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Wow, wow, wow! Oh baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, tries to figure out how I'm still single, even though you could take away all of my wigs and weaves

and tell me I have to be a bald-headed bitch, and I would do it reluctantly. My guest today, oh boy, I'm very excited. She is a friend. You've seen her on The Good Place. She stars on Why Women Kill. She was on Veronica Mars, Barry, Big City Greens,

Killing Eve, Love, All Loved Together. Oh my, oh, the Powerpuff Girls. What a dang treat. It's Kirby Halabaptist. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boopist i tried to do the horn like okay i did it okay yeah you did it it sounded great okay perfect thank you so much for doing this this is so i'm so happy that uh we finally found time because you have truly not stopped working uh truly like 2019 I never saw you because you were working so much yeah 2019 was very very very busy it was almost like I was

banking up all the busyness for an incredibly not busy 2020 yeah 2020 truly for me I don't know if it was for you started with like a bang and like things were happening and then the world went oh bitch you got to take a nap for four months or however wait what so March March April May my god it's been yeah a long time time I had the same thing I was like 2020 is the year like not 2019 though I worked a lot like felt like a bit of a like I don't know you ever do you ever I felt like this is the only way I can describe it 2019 I felt like I was in a washing machine the entire year just getting tossed around and I I felt like I just like didn't know what was what. And I was like, no more 2020, 2020, 2020, 2020. There you go.

2020, 2020. I mean, that's how long it's been. But I was like, it's gonna happen. I made I mean, I've made the longest, like, plan for the year or mood board or whatever you want to call it, like vision board. And I was like, that's it. I I'm taking back 2020 and there was no taking back 2020 but I will say what I think it what I do think is that I have already had a better 2020 than 2019 because I have felt more in control and I do feel like I mean not in some ways not but I feel like a number of things have happened in six months that have completely rocked me. But I feel very like, oh, maybe collectively we're all like graduating or growing up a little bit.

Yeah, I kind of feel the same way. Like, I feel like in the beginning of quarantine and the beginning of COVID-19, I was a little spiraling and I was like, my whole world is very much rocked. I don't know how I'm going to do anything. But I kind of figured out that I needed to take a little bit of a break. Like I came to the conclusion that like, I can't tour every fucking weekend of the year. That's not good for my soul and I was like I truly just figured out my period I am old I'm like 59 years old and I just figured out my period I was talking to my therapist and I was like oh my god I I feel crazy and irrational one week. And then the next week I'm craving potatoes. Like I was craving tater tots

and I ate tater tots every day for a week. And I was like, but I'm not pregnant. Why am I craving things? And then my period came and I was telling my therapist about that. And she said, Nicole, have you ever thought about pms and i was like what do you mean she was like do you think maybe you're premenstrual before your period and this is why you're a little irrational and and angry sometimes and hungry for things and i was like huh i never

thought i was the bitch from a dove commercial who was like orgasmed over chocolate. But I am. I am that bitch. And it's not chocolate. It's tater tots. Oh, my God. It's such a real thing, though, that people don't realize. Also, speaking of figuring out periods, it's not easy because I ran out of my NuvaRing when I was in London. So I'm not on it.

So I don't know when that thing's coming. I don't know when to expect her. I don't know what's happening. I don't know how often she comes because the new ring told me it was like every three weeks you take it out you pop a new one in like it told me but i also think that like we're so used to as women having to deal with everything that you can't even like i don't know even when i think like is this pms i don't make room for it i'm like no just you, you just have to get on with it. But it's like, hey, there's a hormonal thing happening every single month. It's a huge deal. And people are just like, you're meant to just, I mean,

yes, we do carry on. Like sometimes when I am PMSing, I walk around and I'm like, there are so many women, like let's say I was like at a UCB show. There are so many women like let's say i was like at a ucb show there are so many women in in that show or in that audience who are all having their period at the same time and just have to act like they're fine just like i get on with my life even though my hormones are literally making me gain weight and crazy for the next three days and it's something that men will never understand that we are fully bleeding out tiny little cups and walking around like we're normal. Like it's fine. Like it's normal.

Just, yeah, just, oh, you know, like, oh, you spent a little while in the toilet. Yeah, I was bleeding profusely. I was bleeding. And then, oh, my God, I started using a Diva Cup and I started like a year or two ago and it kept like turning over oh my the spilling out is the most unruly I use a diva cup I use it for so long because I was like it's best for the environment and I was such an advocate I really wanted it for myself and I use it for about a year and would also have to use pads because that damn thing would always tip oh my god yes it was but then I figured it out it wasn't opening up all the way in me so it would just be like half open and then

the blood would be like oh we free bleeding we having a good ass time we can't just go everywhere we're gonna paint the underwear walls okay and then I like figured it out was like oh god yeah fuck you and then I was like don't get mad don't get upset about it it's a journey nobody takes the time to like teach us stuff like it's all like a journey of self-discovery oh boy by the way Nicole your hair looks amazing thank you I did this I know because I saw it on Instagram I'm so so excited and so proud of you I think that's it looks amazing and I can't believe because you never used to do your own hair before this quarantine did you that's crazy so you had done I think I do my own hair because I'm I'm cheap you're also good at it I think it was like maybe crocheted like a crocheted fro or something and I was like dang where do you get your hair done you're like I at it. I think it was like maybe crochet, like a crocheted fro or something.

And I was like, dang, where do you get your hair done? You're like, I did it. And I was like, oh, my God. And then you, I think, had twists at one point or braids. I don't remember. But I was like, well, Kirby can do it. I can figure it out. So this is honestly the best set of braids that I've done ever.

It's really good. Also, once these braids are out, I'm going to do a crochet. So if you want to do a crochet over the video together, I can show you. We can do it together remotely. I'm going to do a crochet after if you want like a crochet. Honestly, would love that. Also, you're currently in your closet. Wow.

You've got a lot of fucking fun stuff. I see. Is there a turtle? Is that a turtle? Oh, that's a turtle hat that I bought from a Goodwill. Let me show you. I bought this from Goodwill in Pittsburgh one day because we decided on an impromptu day.

Look at his eyes This is fucking funny It's a foam turtle head I got this foam turtle head Because when Aiden and I were filming in Pittsburgh Aiden who was also on your show Which I'm still annoyed was cancelled Hello, I'm still annoyed

Rest in peace We've all had a show cancelled you know my Pittsburgh show was also cancelled wait was this um Downward Dog yes yes yes erased from the files you can't even find it anywhere Hulu where does it exist which is so crazy because I feel like it got like good reviews and then they were like hey bye bye yeah it did I think it like critically got some good reviews I don't know if the views were great. I don't know. But I also don't know why they pick up and renew or don't.

I don't know. It's very confusing. Networks are very confusing because they'll renew shows that you're like, I've never heard anybody one time talk about this. No one. And then things that you hear people talk about, they're like, well, cancel. And you're like, goodbye.

Yeah. They do their own thing. Say love you. Anyway. Say love you. Yeah, love me yeah look this i love it a mess it's oh there's too much in here i've had a moment where i'm like i have to get rid of some of this stuff my nan passed away recently and we're still dealing with clearing out a lot of her things and it made me i fully had like went into like an existential spiral i say spiral. It wasn't actually a spiral. I don't know if it was like enlightenment, but I was like, you just can't take any of it with you.

Why am I accumulating more? I just don't even want any more stuff. Like I've just got so much stuff. And if anything happens, which should happen at any point, my friends and family just have to deal with all of my shit as well as all the paperwork. Yep. It is a lot like after my mom died first then my dad died and after my mother died we truly didn't clean anything out like we didn't get rid of any of her shit her purse was still where she left it for years and then after my dad died cleaning out that fucking house was a nightmare i it was like what are you what were you keeping this for why did you have this and i like things because my

mother liked things but i'm trying to get in the habit of being like well this thing i literally don't ever wear i don't even look at this anymore I have to throw this away yeah yeah do do okay feel free to do whatever you want with this but did your parents die close within a close no

of each other no it was five years apart that's close Nicole I never knew that that's really close and you were a kid right

I was 16 and then 21 that's young really close that's my sister-in-law has a similar thing she her both her parents died and actually similar ages uh her dad died first so and then her mom died when she was 16 but she lost her dad when she was younger but it's that's really young yeah it's dealing with death is tough and nobody teaches you or warns you about it which i think is not great but you know i mean you gotta learn some things on your own uh but i not that i'm obsessed with death but i do think about it a lot and yeah i was watching 13 reasons why because i don't because i love it i love horny teens uh and I and there was a part like a moment in the

episode I was watching last night where uh one of the characters was like are you afraid to die and I like really thought about it and I was like I don't think I'm afraid to die I think what I'm not like I guess it's like a FOMO I'm like oh everyone's gonna keep doing fun yes and I'm sleeping forever yes well my nan who raised me with my mom like my nan and my mom are my parents and I feel like I watched my nan like progressively she had cancer so it was it wasn't sudden and I had that same when I like I remember one time I was outside McConnell's ice cream my boyfriend and I had stopped to get ice cream and I was high obviously and we needed ice cream and I was like just chatting about my nan and it's not really great to talk about grief when you're high

it's like great ish but sometimes not great because sometimes you're like it's great because your mind goes to these places and then other times you just like peek through a little door then you realize you weren't meant to open that door. And then you can't stop. So then it clicked for me in this moment. And I was like, she just wants to be here. All she wants is to be here. It's the thing she can't have and it's what she wants.

And she just wants to be. She doesn't want it. Everything will keep going without her. And that's so scary because my Nana is also such a people person. Like she just loved her family and love people. And I was like, that's exactly what it is. It's it's not the fear. It's also like, man, I have the same thing of like it's missing out.

I don't even know if it's missing out. My thing is I'm like, oh oh it's so sad when someone dies and if I go I'll make so many people not to be like no you would make so many people sad really sad like yeah really really sad and that's so awful like the what I'm feeling I'm like oh I don't want everyone to feel that and then I also had this moment of like fuck I'm gonna have to keep feeling this because I think I'm feeling, I'm like, oh, I don't want everyone to feel that. And then I also had this moment of like, fuck, I'm going to have to keep feeling this. Because I think I'm lucky because I didn't experience a close death until now. So until my 30s. But then I think about like, oh, fuck, I experienced it so late.

Now it's like going to be nonstop. Because loads of the people are old. Yeah, that's the thing. mm-hmm because loads of the people are old like yeah that's the thing like once you experience loss you realize oh this is a thing that i'm gonna it repeats it's not groundhog day exactly but it will happen again and again and again it doesn't stop until you die yeah i'm not like obsessed with death but i do think about it a lot and like mortality and trying to like live every day with doing at least a couple joyful things because it might be the last thing I do but I also have like a living will because if you have any sort of property any sort of money everyone should have a

living will because my dad didn't have one and assets revert back to the state. And then you have to like do so much fucking work. And you're already also sad. But in my will, you can't enforce shit like this in your will. But I wrote at my funeral, I want everyone to have gone through my closet and pick out one of the dumbest items I own. And I want them to wear it because I was like, it would be so whoever speaks, it would be so wonderful for them to look out at a bunch like it would be so whoever speaks it would be so wonderful for them to look out at a bunch of people wearing the dumbest shit yeah oh Kirby I think I told

we were like on a text chain about RuPaul's Drag Race and other stuff I said I was like I want or maybe I just told you I was like I want to recreate Crystal Methods uh red patent leather latex outfit i did it i found someone in uh where are they russia to make it and it's big and dumb and fabulous and i was like yeah i would love for someone to wear that after i'm gone yeah like the joy it brought me be able to transfer that joy yes i think about that a lot it's interesting i have always sort of been curious about death and not afraid to talk. I listen to a lot of podcasts about death,

not just like gory ones, but just like about death and like there's one that I really like. I think it's, it's not This American Life. It might be, it's called Dying Well.

I can't remember what podcast it is, but that's the name of the episode and it is, it's, I think it's an NPR podcast, but like there's that and they talk about that we should talk about death more. The will thing, my nan had a will and I think that's great and I told my mum before I left, I think it's an NPR podcast, but like there's that and they talk about that we should talk about death more.

The will thing, my nan had a will. I think that's great. And I told my mum before I left, I was like, we all need to have a will. Like exactly what you're saying. We just have to have a will because it's so hard to die. And then it's like,

I didn't realise how hard it was when the government gets it. It's so difficult. You're not like, even if you're sort of at peace, your family are not. You can't even grieve fully so I think that's important but I also think that you Nicole are really good at that you're really really good at like finding joy every single day you are one of the most joyful people I know and I think no but that's so cool because like

I think I'm joyful but I honestly think and maybe this is part of why we have to talk about death more like I honestly think since this thing happened to me this year I am much more like yeah let's just do that yeah let's just do that okay but I felt like I guess you just don't know you're on a ticking clock until you see it and but it's like but you're on a ticking clock you are yes yeah and uh lately especially with like I mentioned this on a different episode but uh since like COVID started I've been like well why don't I just do everything I've ever wanted to do that I can like as opposed to like sitting and watching tv why don't I go try to learn how to roller skate for an hour yeah when

you stand on the skates for a little bit longer, like I feel accomplished and like I did something and I had fun doing it. Like learning how to ride a motorcycle, that was always like a thing I wanted to do. And I was like, well, what am I waiting for? Why don't I just try it? I desperately want,

I was thinking about getting a motorcycle this week because I really want to learn how to ride. How is it? Are you terrified? My God. Okay. So. Because I need to know, because I literally, like my boyfriend rides a motorcycle this week because I really want to learn how to ride. How is it? Are you terrified? My God. Okay. So. Because I need to know because I literally, like, my boyfriend rides a motorcycle and

I was like, I'm going to get one. In London, I was talking so much smack about, like, as soon as I get that, we're getting a motorbike because I want to ride around and I don't want to be in the back of it. And then I got back and he was like, so should we go and get it? And I was like, I don't want to die. It is inherently dangerous. But I will say it's a lot so it's a lot like you have to practice because in order to switch gears you have to like pull the clutch let go of the the gas and it's it's a lot of like hand eye coordination but like once it's uh in your body it's easy

yeah but that being said i haven't ridden in a while because I was like, God forbid something happens and I have to go to the hospital and there's a bunch of COVID-19 cases. Yes. No, thank you. Yeah, no, thank you. Not right now. Okay, well, you've inspired me. And also danger is relative. Like once you know what you're doing, it's less dangerous.

And if you wear protective gear a good ass helmet also this is a thing i didn't know until i took a class if you have an accident and smack your helmet on the ground you have to immediately get another one because it won't it stops absorbing the shock of impact and i was like holy shit that's wild i wonder if it's the same thing with cars like if you hit a car and then you just have it rebuilt, is it as safe? I don't know. It must not be. Even if the airbag doesn't come out, it's like a little damaged now.

Right? That's what I feel like. I don't know. We're all living in a death trap that is the world. trap that is the world uh so i want to ask you you were in london for a while uh yeah and did you were there protests in like i know there was like a ton of protests like around the world because of yeah george floyd and brianna uh taylor and honestly just like years and years of oppression and systemic racism and implicit bias and whatnot and we were like you know it's boiled to a head none of us have jobs let's get

out and like make our voices heard yeah where they're protesting london there were protests i'll tell you what there were there were protests regarding um police brutality what there were not were protests just to not wear masks we didn't have those we didn't have anyone just like we really don't want to wear a mask we didn't have that it was so nuts to see it on the news and to see all the videos of the people being like i'm an american i belong in costco maskless and i'm like people ask you to wear a shirt and shoes for service we're just adding another layer of something you gotta wear to be in public also you only have to wear it whilst you're shopping take it out then take it off the moment you get in the car no big

deal yes or take it off when you're in the store because that's what I've seen people do I don't think it's the best thing to do but like you don't have to argue with everybody yeah yeah it's kind of crazy I saw a photo of like a bunch of obviously white people at like Daytona Beach or they were like do you see the people just crammed in and in my mind I was like that's not even comfortable I don't even care about COVID just fucking butt cheek to butt cheek with everyone it was so crazy it's like a child trying to make a point where they're like I love mustard I'm gonna make a mountain of mustard on my hamburger and then you're like well you've now made this hamburger inedible nobody needs to know how close you want

to be with people because you are upset that there's a virus that we don't know anything about that we can't control it's so america is a teenager i do think like people forget that like it's history is not that long at least it's like colonial history is not that long which is what we are part of it's not very long it's a teenager and so it is it acts like a teenager like it it's it throws tantrums and it bullies people and it's kind of just like a teenager that kind of i guess its parents are across the ocean and we're like okay fine you want to be an adult emancipate yourself you're gonna be an adult and they're like yeah fine we will be adults but yeah we're gonna be

adults and uh yeah and we're gonna we're gonna have slaves and uh um and we're not gonna be nice to the slaves after we let them go you know it's like the shittiest kid in class is America. Yeah. But we did have, we did have like legitimate protests regarding police brutality, which is an issue all over the world, not just in America. I think it's heightened in America because of America's very recent history and because of the fact that police can have guns and have so little training before becoming police. But we did have that and we have had our own incidents of police brutality, like in

2012, I think it was Mark Duggan was a young man who was killed by police in police custody, and his family weren't told for some hours. And that is what kicked off what were called the London riots. But again, it wasn't a riot. It's's an uprising it's so crazy that it's like these are riots it's like people have a right to not want themselves or other people to be killed by the people that are meant to protect us it's not really a riot a riot is like what happens when people's football teams lose and they trash a place that's a riot and people don't talk about that enough that there's a full difference like you were mad that your football team lost I'm mad because my child went to the store to pick up Skittles and didn't come home and that guy who shot him is signing packs of Skittles for fun yes yes yeah it's so

wild to me and honestly like in England and London have there been like because I assume you follow like maybe English people on Twitter and shit I don't know have there been like because I assume you follow like maybe English people on Twitter and shit I don't know have there been like a ton of videos of like white people being overtly racist and screaming at these people with camera phones no well what they have been you mean the the Karen Becky Chad situation yes but I like the way Amanda Seals put it where it's like they're not Karens they're terrorists and. And I was like, yeah, they are terrorists. Karen's a cute name for a fucking terrorist. It is.

It is. Well, what I do, so I do follow some English people and I haven't seen a lot of that. But what I have seen, I love Reddit. I absolutely love Reddit. And so I go on to Reddit, public freak out subreddit, and you see a lot of stuff and there have been recently a lot of because i also think that like if i'm honest the racism in england is so cloaked and cloaked so very well and so subtle that you might just miss it i think the thing about american racism for the most part outside of like liberal elite racism is that it's very overt the rest of it and so it's really easy to spot um which is nice because it's easy to spot even for white people you know it's very overt the rest of it and so it's really easy to spot um which is nice

because it's easy to spot even for white people you know it's there what i think is harder is like this the very subtle um liberal racism which i think is what what the uk or at least london has a lot of which most i think most metropolitan cities have but what i'm seeing more and more is people posting things where the police are stopping them and because obviously because they're black so it most of them aren't violent they haven't escalated to violence but they are incidents because I know like when I'm I mean when I was at home during this quarantine my mom my brother and I went for a bike ride and it was so interesting like the three of us were just out having a lovely, happy little bike ride. And I don't know if I wouldn't have noticed it before, but there were so many people that looked at us where I'm like, we're literally just riding a bike.

But if it's one black person, it's okay. If it's one black person and a white person, then they've been neutralized and they're safe. But three black people and one of them's like a giant black man. That's a gang. That's a gang. They're coming to get me. My poor little mom like people were looking at us like we were a gang i'm like look at this lady she can barely ride her bike i it's so funny that like i know me personally have become numb to people staring at me when i was younger i would be like oh it's people people staring at me when I was younger. I would be like, oh, it's people are staring at me because I'm the only black person in the room in high school.

I would be the only black person in a room. And we watched Roots instead of a teacher talking about racism and talking about slavery. He was like, play. So I don't have to fucking do the work. And I was like, yeah, I mean, is Kunta Kinte really going to teach these white people? But every day when he would turn the lights on, everyone would look at me. So I don't have to fucking do the work. And I was like, yeah, I mean, is Kunta Kinte really going to teach these white people? But every day when he would turn the lights on, everyone would look at me. And I was like, oh, I don't have like a statement.

Like, I don't. Right. I'm not the spokesperson. You know, I didn't write this movie. Yeah. And I was like, also, I've already seen Roots. We're all 17. I know a little bit more than you because I have to. You have to know your history.

But with all these videos, I can't help but wonder, like some of these people are mothers or fathers, like do their kids scroll through Twitter and then their mother comes home disheveled and you're like, mom? I know. I know. Like it's so, imagine how mortified you'd be

if you saw your mom just like yelling at someone. I've watched so many of these and I'm like, oh my God, these people are full on families and they are acting such a fool. It's crazy. It's also just like not for anything. It's different if it was like, you know, but these people are just, you know, like I watched one today where this, where an Asian girl was exercising and this woman, have you seen that one?

Yes. What the hell is going on? Like, why would you do that? What goes through, what actually goes through your mind? Yeah, I mean, I got into a fight with a white man at a gym. I don't know if I've ever talked about this on the podcast, but so I was doing kettlebell swings in this little hallway at LA Fitness

where people will like take those like jazz steps and do like step ups and weightlifting just away from the weight room and like people will like take those like jazz steps and do like step ups and weightlifting just away from the weight room and like people be like, so I was like doing kettlebell swings. And this guy walked literally right where I was about to swing. And I went, Jesus Christ, specifically because I was like, I could have hit you more aware. And then he stomped in his tracks, doubled back and said, what the fuck did you say to me? And I said, Iesus christ you walked into where i was swinging he's like well you shouldn't be swinging back here and i was like there are four other people back here it is a gym i can be wherever i want and he's like well maybe you need to come to the gym more you fat black bitch and i was like wait what

and i was like what did you say to me and i was like I will fucking crack your skull with this and then he scurried away and because I was advancing with a very heavy weight and I was like uh and then this other woman she popped up and she was like she did nothing wrong she did nothing wrong and then he like was away and she was like I was gonna get up and I was gonna do something too and I was like bitch you're still on your butt you weren't gonna do it I was gonna to get up and I was going to do something, too. And I was like, bitch, you're still on your butt. You weren't going to do it. I was gonna. I need you now.

I don't need. I was gonna. But it was a white woman who I think in the moment, like, just didn't know what to do. She just knew that, like, he was wrong and that it escalated rather quickly. And I was holding a literal weapon. And I was like, should I go to the front desk? But I just, like, huffed and puffed and was like should i go to the front desk but i just like huffed and puffed and was like i have to leave um also he could have said fat bitch but i heard black bitch but who knows you know you know i think if there's any ambiguity i mean he's still a piece of shit

right like over which what what verb he used is he's still a piece of shit but i will say and you can't see this situation again but like i wonder if she would have got up quicker if it was a white person because i do feel that like white people like because we are so because white pain is a thing that we see and is normal it's something that people are very attuned to and will be excited to end. Like we don't want any white people to be in pain. We don't want it to be uncomfortable. I'm going to stop him from being whatever. But there has been a number of incidents

where I am in an argument with someone where something has happened, not a number. It's like, you know, you can count on your hands because as a black person, things like this happen to you. And you think, oh, it's so crazy that no one is coming to my eight okay so like speaking of like racism in fitness so like ages ago I was training for the LA marathon I ran it I think I ran it like six years ago now seven years ago anyway I was running along the Bologna bike trail which is a trail that goes from um Culver City uh all the way to the beach to like

you can like it's really beautiful and it's like a great way to run because then you don't have any you know it's a bike trail as well as a running trail at the halfway point where i was meant to turn back and start running um i had done it was a 10 mile run and i'd done five and i was turning back i turned back and there was this bike a white woman on a bike who was speeding flying down this although it's a shared path so you're not meant to go at like olympic speeds she's flying down the path i turned to go back she i guess had gone on the other side to overtake people so she was on the wrong side and we crash into each other i go flying she falls off her bike but meanwhile obviously she was on a bike so she has a helmet she has this she has that i hit my head oh and i am sprawled out on this bike trail about

five white people run rush to this woman's aid rush to her make sure she's okay they're touching her they're like you know don't move do you need help and i'm just lying there and there is i can't get up because my i'm dizzy and i'm dazed there and there is I can't get up because I'm dizzy and I'm dazed and the only person who came to help me was this little black lady who I always used to see

because she would power walk and I would say hi and I used to do this run every Saturday and so we'd always say hi to each other and she luckily was going past at that time

and she was the only person who stopped for me that's fucking insane that's to say about bias is that no one would have thought we're rushing to a white woman's aid because she needs us it's in their mind they're like the person who needs help is getting help but in i think honestly maybe it was like maybe that was like seven years ago that was such a weird turning point in my life and in my understanding

of race in general but also in america of like you know, I would say that I'm quite, I recognize my own privilege in that I am from somewhere else. Like I have an accent. So if you hear my accent, most people treat me better. I mean, I've seen women grab their handbags, and then when they hear my accent, loosen up, because being English makes me seem more white. So I've seen, so I understand that.

But in that moment, when you don't have the privilege of having an accent or whatever, you can see how you are seen. And in that moment, I fully saw how I was seen and it changed everything. My God, that is so fucked up. That is so fucked up. Truly so awful. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. It's an interesting thing. And I think it's good for it because I know a lot of white people listen to this podcast

and I think it's important for them to hear stories. I think it's important to hear it from the mouth to be like, we're not making this up. It's ingrained in the culture it's it's a thing that it's a stain on america it sucks yeah it sucks and it's not just it's not just what it's literally everyone it's like i watched um i was watching darren brown yesterday master hypnosis don't know if you've seen him he's's a magician. I love magic. Not to make a blanket statement, but I think all black people like magic. I mean, they're the best reactors when there's like street magicians.

And I went to the Magic Castle and lost my mind. I love magic. I genuinely love magic. So I was watching this thing basically yesterday. Darren Brown was doing like this hypnosis. And he was talking about like if you keep, you know, presenting someone with this idea and their suggestion that over time you will believe it. And I realized I was like, oh, we're all just hypnotized from birth. We're presented with the same ideas of people.

Like it's we think it's just like I'm privileged or that white person. It's because we have literally all been hypnotized by the system to believe a certain thing because it benefits like hypnosis, you know, like there is sort of only one person that can not necessarily one person, but for us, it's like a system or an idea that controls everything. So it makes sense for everyone else to be hypnotized.

And I think we are all just sort of in a state of hypnosis, which I think we're trying to break out of, but it's going to take such a long time. Yes, it will take a long time, but we all just have to do the work. I think about that a lot when I was a kid. I was really obsessed with Whoopi Goldberg, and I would watch The Associate, Eddie, and Ghost,

and Made in America over and over and over again. And I'm a creature of habit. I don't like change. So that's why like familiar things feel good. But I was like, oh, I guess in my little brain, I was like, this woman is really funny and I'm laughing and she looks like me. That like as an adult,

I realized how important representation is. And I think if I didn't have that Whoopi Goldberg would I have thought that I could do this insane job that I'm very blessed and lucky to have it's so crazy it's crazy I used to watch a show called three non-blondes and it was three British comedians and they would do sketches like you know like on the street sketches and they were so unbelievably funny and I remember me and my friend wanted to do like we were like we should go out and do that we should like go and do street sketches but it was some of the and and there was another show in England called The Real McCoy and The Real McCoy was basically like SNL but all black people it was sketches and stand-up

and it was all black people and it was it, like, revolutionary, and I watched that growing up. And then it just went away, which was so, so sad. But I know exactly what you mean, because my brother and I used to, we didn't have, we couldn't afford a video camera, but we had a little tape recorder. And we have so many tapes of us doing, like, skits from the real McCoy. But you're totally right like to like i don't i don't even know until you said that if i ever thought that because people like you know

you wanted to be an act and i think i have i have a very supportive family that are like yeah go do it but i think like where does that idea come from and now when i think about it i think like of course it's that of course it's like i mean i know seeing yourself when you see it you feel like you can be it but on a personal level i'm like oh yeah I used to sit and watch the real McCoy I think it was every Friday night like religiously my family would sit down and watch that and three non-blondes I watched that every like I was so like of course I saw myself doing comedy because I saw myself doing comedy yeah and my mom made sure that like I had white dolls but I also had a ton of black dolls yeah I remember once I was like I want more white dolls my mom was like well you're

not a white girl so why would you want to play with a white doll don't you want to play with something that looks like you and I was like oh fuck yes yeah but that's an early hypnosis because it's probably like when you're a kid you're seeing all the other white like i remember doing ballet and i was like a kid in ballet and they used to make fun of me all the time i was the only black kid in ballet and the teachers even were relentless but but you know ballet in london in england as well is like very very classist like extremely i'm sure it is here but england where we very much have a classist and there is one here too it's just not spoken about but i remember like my hair my mom would obviously like cane row my hair also we say cane row you guys say corn row in America but it's like rows of cane rows of corn anyway so although your family

are Caribbean right yeah my dad's family that side's from uh Barbados and then for I know I've said this on the podcast but I thought I was Native American for a solid I don't know decade of my life because my aunt was like well you know because we're Indian and then the door closed and I said I'm Native American

she definitely meant West Indian West Indian yeah also Nicole Barbados I went to Barbados a few years ago best holiday of my entire life we should go to crop over it's the best thing you've ever I want to go so bad it's the most pictures in the best outfits when you went oh it was such a treat for the eyes oh man we'll all be Rihanna it's the best just let's go real quick we have to take a break. Okay.

And we're back. Yay. We have spent a ton of time not talking about relationships, and that's what the dang podcast is about. But also, I like talking about race, and I think it's important and a necessary conversation but I want to know you have a boyfriend and this is delightful I love it delightful how did you guys meet we met at my manager's office actually because he was there for a self-tape and I was there to have a meeting and um i was i walked in and um i saw the the i saw him actually through the windows of glass i saw him through his manager's office and i was like oh he's cute

and then i went in to chat with the guys who do the tapes and i was like chatting with them and then he came over and was like hi you know he told me his name he introduced himself and then he he was like what's your name and then he was like nice to meet you we went our separate ways and then i went into my manager's office and i was like oh my god who is that and he was like oh you know that's just you know john's client and um then i was like oh okay whatever and he is you know i don't want to be smug but he's a beautiful black man and i feel like unfortunately as and I know I am a beautiful black woman but as a dark-skinned black woman I think I've been conditioned to believe or see that a lot of black men will not pick me yes so I was like okay whatever and then

um a week later I uh I got a text from my being like, so and so wants to go on a date with you. Is it okay if I give him your number? And I was like, hell yeah! But that's also part of the hypnosis on all parts. I mean, that's like a fivehour podcast into like race and conditioning and within our own culture but oh yes uh dark skin versus light skin like my mom was super super light and they used to call her high yellow and shit like that and it's it's it sucks and my mom told me my mom talked a lot about race and at one point she was like you know after your sister was born i would pray that you would come out the same color as her not darker not lighter because you would just be treated so differently and i was like jesus fucking christ imagine being pregnant and being so excited to welcome a child into the world and then you have to already worry about their place

in the world and how yeah they're going to be discriminated against. Yeah, it's so crazy. It's crazy. It's horrible. This might be a personal question, but is this the first black man that you've had a long relationship with? Yeah, this is only my second long relationship. I wouldn't count all the rest just because um I'm generally scared of commitment and if to me if it's less than a year that wasn't a relationship I'm different I'm like if it was two dates it was a relationship

if you came back for seconds it's one that's true that's I think maybe less than six months I think I was i was um as you know but people may not i was married for a long time i got married really young and so um i was in that relationship and then after that i was like no more relationships and then i met my now partner um but yeah this is this is not like the uh the this is the only black man i've been in a in a long-term relationship with. And it's the best. I won't lie to you, Nicole.

It's the best relationship I've ever had. It's so easy to talk. There's a common language. I feel... I don't feel... When he says, I don't feel like I'm looked at... It's not tokenism. I don't feel like there'm looked at like it's not tokenism. I don't feel like there's this weird sort of like ownership,

nor do I feel like there's a fetishization. I feel like there's just a true appreciation. And I think that like that's something that not a lot of people have or feel they have or feel that is like coming to them. And it makes me really sad. I think it makes me really sad as well in general that black women are truly the absolute most disrespected people in the entire world. I mean, like within and outside of our own culture, we are so unbelievably disrespected. respected and it makes me so sad because black women are so like so unbelievably intelligent so accomplished so loyal so emotional and it's it's so it's painful yeah and it's a real trip

to like so my mom when I started wearing makeup would teach me to line my lips to make them look smaller and she would also be like stick your butt in so my butt wouldn't look as big and it was like adhering to like uh european standards and whatnot like but also on the flip side my mom tried to keep my hair in braids and little bobbles for a very long time uh and not flat iron my hair or press my hair out and I just wanted that so bad but then I was like wait big lips are now in I know big butts are now in it's such a trick and no one's even saying like hey thank you black women because the the beauty standard that you have you know brought to us and owned for years I mean similar we were talking about ballet in ballet I used to get teased

mercilessly because I had a big butt like mercilessly it was like i wasn't skinny enough and it's like the other and now we black women are the reason why plastic surgery has boomed like why this is a multi-billion dollar industry is literally because of us and no one is going like i remember when i first i remember my mom pointing this out because when JLo first came out people were like she's got they'd be saying like a JLo butt like oh she's got a JLo butt my mum was like a JLo butt JLo has a black woman's butt like there's never any credit and I also think like we're in this time right now where I hope people are starting to be more honest but I think like it would really really be honour honorable if some

white people were literally like I literally owe everything to black people I the look I am trying to achieve is that of a black woman yes I wouldn't mind it if someone was just like yeah I got my butt done because I love black women with fat asses I love that I wear braids because black women wear braids and I like it as opposed to like Kim Kardashian being like, Bo Derek braids is what she like wrote like a couple of years ago. And it's like, um, no, it's not that. And things are considered ghetto or like low rent, low class until, you know, some designer puts gold teeth down the runway with chains and shit. Languages. Yes.

Yeah. I mean, I honestly it if that but that's the problem with white people as well and that's the other thing to say about the disrespect of black women is that to not even to talk about there are people who will be so attracted to white women who have paid to possess all the attributes of black women and then still turn around and tell you that they don't find black women attractive and that is the fucking tea that is all tea no shade but that's the truth that is like that is isn't that so crazy and like also maybe it's about when we have to understand like we are so and and i think if we could take the idea that imitation is a

sincerest form of flattery and know how fucking bad we were, we would then not allow other people to not treat us like the baddies that we are. Because truly, the entire beauty standard, even though they don't want to say it's us, the beauty standard of the world right now is black women. It is. Although what they'll do is, it's black women that have been, it's the idea of blackness that has been co-opted by white people. And and that's what we pushed to further keep us down and keep us feeling like we don't exist. Yeah, it's so fucking wild. They can't erase us. They want to, but they can't.

They can't. We just keep coming back. We won't be put down. Also, like I've been told numerous, new like yeah like numerous times i had this one manager for a while and i don't know if i've told this story on the podcast but uh there was a disagreement that i had with a network over what they were doing with something and i didn't mince my words i wasn't an asshole about it but i said what i felt i said what i thought they should do and i was like and that's for y'all to like, you know, think about whatever.

Come back to me when you have thoughts, whatever. And then my manager, maybe like two minutes after we got off the phone, texted me and was like, I think you should apologize. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, for the way that you said everything, you really came off as a bitch. And I was like, would you tell one of your white male clients that he was a bitch or would you say wow that was assertive and you're a boss and it's just like black women are like people paint us as like angry we're angry and it's like I can't remember who said it but it was like wouldn't you be angry

too if you were treated the way you were treated yeah we are definitely treated as angry but I am here to say that i am angry like i think it is angering it is angering when i truly like when i see people like it is angering to see how much is taken from us you of course you would be angered it's not it's not that you walk around being like i'm in a constant state of anger but it's like oh if you want to talk about it we can talk about it yeah and uh i would i don't know who i want to end up with black white puerto rican mexican whatever i just know that like i want to be with someone who like respects me and that i don't have to teach them anything yeah like i dated a dude who i said i was like you can pull

my hair and he was like can i and i was like yes we're sleeping together and i asked you to pull my hair and you did you like we're very he was very like he like kind of gently tugged at it and i was like it's pinned down i pin this bitch down you can pull on it okay let my scalp feel something okay and he was like i just didn't know if i could touch it and i was like i don't want to have to teach you that if you're inside of me you can touch my hair right right the people who aren't inside of me i don't need them to touch it right and if you've clearly said it because i've also had sex with a white guy where i'm like if you ever i'll kill you don't ever go near my hair okay i don't want you near it you don't need to put it if i've given you permission that's fine but you don't need to yes but. If I've given you permission, that's fine. But you don't need to. Yes. But also, it's like I gave you permission.

You gave permission. That's it. Yeah. It's hard. The teaching is hard in relationships because sometimes people slip through the cracks. Sometimes you get someone who's like, I know everything and I'm very woke. And they're lying to you. They're lying to you.

Yes. Yep. Anybody who's like, I know everything. It's like, okay. it's like okay like i'm sure rachel dolezal could learn a thing or two yeah kirby i went into a rachel dolezal hole on her instagram and then i re-watched the interview where this interviewer is my god is the shadiest queen of all time this man asked her like real questions about this like alleged hate crime that she was talking about for five straight minutes and then at the end of the

interview pulls out a picture of a black man and goes is this your dad and she was like um yes and then and then he was like you mean to tell me this this person is your dad and she was like yeah that's what i said he's like are you afric African-American? And I was literally screaming because I watched the whole thing. I have time. It's the face crack of the century. It is so funny. And now she's a hair braider. Honestly, she's a good hair braider.

Now she's a hair braider? She's a good braider. But I will say they're a little too tight i'm like you can loosen their grip a little bit hers always look very tight yes very very tight which is yeah they don't need to be that tight no but it's just like yeah you want to be part of the black experience or whatever you think you know everything you teach afro studies but it's like i don't know a bunch of black people tell you please don't you't bronze yourself and put on an Afro and say you're black.

You can't listen and say, ah, okay, I won't. Right, that's the craziest thing about it is being like, I mean, Rachel Dozal could go freaking toe-to-toe with most people about race. She's ready. I mean, she was pretty high up in the NAACP. She was the president of the Spokane chapter. Isn't that nuts? It's wild. I mean,'t that nuts it's wild but that is to show you

that even someone who is the most educated can get it so wrong yes if you just don't listen to actual black people which i guess you would argue she is she's like of course i'm listening i'm one of you and it's like the only person that rivals her is this kid i don't remember his name but he was like 18 years old and he lied about being a doctor and was working in a hospital with patients and he's a black guy and i was like you finessed the system and then he got caught and then did it again and i was like this man i love him I know I'm here for it one person can trick the sister one person be the sister I'm with him also dating while being a black person in like we do improv and improv is such a white space and it bums me out all the time and I think I was like really

trying to dip in that pool. Not think that's what I was like trying to do in my early 20s. And I was like, this is so hard. And then you watch someone say something on stage that you're like, oh, God, are you like racist? And then you're like, oh, it's fine off stage. He doesn't say shit like that. It's such a it's it's tough to navigate spaces. Yeah.

such a it's it's tough to navigate spaces yeah i also think improv is unique because improv like has an implicit financial buy-in because yes there aren't many particularly in new york which you know like how many people i don't know very many people in new york who aren't who who can afford to do improv is essentially like hugely not essential it's a fun thing but it costs a lot of money and requires a lot of time 400 to go to a space to pretend to pretend you could do that in your living room you could be like you could do follow the follower at home you could make weird sounds in your bed but you we paid we paid i didn't pay i paid for one set and then i got some scholarship and whatever but like you you pay for that and then it requires an incredible amount of time so yes what i realized coming out of it is that the i

think like if not the majority then at least probably half or 50 of the population of people doing improv their parents still pay for a lot if not most of their expenses it's a very privileged world so it's a really unique microcosm so when you combine like financial privilege with the fact that a lot of these people you know LA is probably the most diverse place that most of these people have ever been and so yeah you get people who are like oh this is exciting to finally meet a black person. Let's see. You know what I mean? So I think for me personally, it's more of a romantic cesspit. It's not really.

Cesspool? Cesspit? I like cesspit. I love cesspit. It's just like, I don't know. As a black person, I think that, and there's also like very few, there are very few, like you said, black black people doing improv and I don't know I don't see very many black relationships in improv like I don't think I I don't think I've seen any actual uh no in the improv world black relation I don't

think I know of any can you think of any yeah no. I truly cannot think of a black person with a black person. There isn't enough of us. And you have come from New York and I've been there and we've both been around for a long time. And the fact that we can't think of that is bad. It's mind boggling. I've been doing improv for, oof, my God, for 12 years now. And I can't even think of it. That's crazy.

Oh, my God. I've been doing improv for 12 years. Well, you don't do it so much anymore. I can't even think of it that's crazy oh my god I've been doing improv for 12 years well you don't do it so much anymore I don't I am and also as much as I make fun of improv I've never loved anything more yeah than improv I also love improv but certain like Benetton Arty I love Benetton is like the I mean I love my old Harold team but there is the freedom I feel on Benetton is like no other. Like that, I think, is what the world could be like if there was actual equality. It's just like everyone feels very free.

Yes, we I think you were at our DCM show. Fuck, I can't remember the specific, but it was just like Uber and a white lady complaining. And I have never laughed harder on stage at like people literally making fun of the audience to their face because it was like pretty it was like like uh black brown people but then a lot of white people because improv is a white space yeah and they were like guffawing at us being like hey Becky and I was like i was like you're laughing but are you listening because we're literally i comedy it's like i did an interview with conan where i was like if you love chris rock but didn't realize that racism exists if you listen to dave chappelle and didn't realize

racism exists if you look like if you like michael chain didn't if you look if you like me and didn't realize that this was awful and we live with this every day, you weren't listening. Like if you like Beyonce and you loved Lemonade and you didn't realize that she literally says that black women are the most disrespected women, like you weren't listening. It's so crazy to me that a lot of white people are like, I'm here.

I know. It's kind of crazy because it's like, it took this awful thing to recur, but also to recur on film for people to believe it when you're like, black art has been, it's not like it's been, it hasn't been shielded. I mean, NWA have a song that's literally called Fuck the Police.

Fuck the Police. It talks about racial profiling and things like that. Like KRS-One has a song called Sound of the Police, which is, I would say listen to it right now. It's an entire history on race and where we've come from and slavery to police. And it's like, it's not like we hid it from anyone. We kind of kept saying, guys, this is a thing.

And everyone was like, I don't know. And then people go, this is a fun beat. I like this. Right, they're like, whoop, i like right that's the sound of them yeah and it's just like a jazz standard billy holidays strange fruit is literally about lynching and it's like are you not listening i find that song so beautiful but so hard to listen to it's so hard to listen to so upsetting to listen to yeah also like the news has been really upset like i think white people just don't understand it's like we get to like wake up roll over open twitter

and then watch another black person get killed by the police or another white person scream at another black person and like two weeks ago i mean i feel better i'm in like a more zen like place i'm still trying to like figure out how i'm funny again because i don't feel super funny right now but i was like you don't understand that like it weighs on your heart every fucking day to like wake up to another fucking thing but then you get funny things like nancy and Kente Clough doing some performative allyship. Girl, I screamed. Oh, poor Nancy. But what could they do?

They were giving it to her. I mean, it's like they could have said, no, that would have been really bad. But it was it was so ill conceived. I will say, though, and I'm with you is like it's it's inescapable and it's it is like we have to see it. But I think as black women, you also feel even deeper. Because I think about like, you know, if that was my kid or my brother, I don't know, there's just like this deeper feeling. But you're right.

I mean, memes will help you get through it. And I will say, yes, Karen should be called terrorist. They are. But sometimes I feel like the Karen thing is a way of sort of making fun of like it is. It can be funny. I mean, not not what they're doing, but I think that people are able to come together and find some levity. And even like the Amy Cooper thing. Horrendous. Not funny at all. But some of the memes that came after it was so funny spectacular I will say this like black people it's been going on for years hundreds hundreds and hundreds of years but like we still figure out how to be funny yeah uplift and change the

culture and shift the needle and I I love being black and i think a lot of times when people hear black lives matter or like i'm black and i'm proud they're like well how come i can't say i'm white and i'm proud i'm like because the whole system and the whole culture already celebrates that we have black history month you guys get white history the rest of the year. Right. And then you whitewash it, and it's hard. And white is seen as normal, right? Like, I even see, and I really do appreciate, because I know I can be a cynic, but I really appreciate that people are posting and talking about it and trying to change.

And I have friends that are doing anti-racist workshops in groups and trying to, like, figure things out. I think that's really brilliant. But I will say that still the narrative around, even people who are saying Black Lives Matter, the narrative is still we're the normal ones, but those different people also matter, guys. It's still like, I still feel, I won't lie and tell you that i that i don't feel i feel very objectified even like i feel objectified and said and still treated as a group

of outsiders it's almost like it feels some of some of the narrative feels like guys listen the aliens can live among us and we'll all be fine and it's like listen i know you're trying but i wake up and do the same shit you do i wake up in the morning and sit on my squatty potty and do a shit and scroll on my phone and you know going like i speak to my mom and my mom gets on my nerves as well just like you and like it's it's not even that like i think it's still seen as like normal and i think that's what we have to keep working towards being like there is no default even though we've been told the default is why I just the only thing I'm like super super hopeful about is like our friends who are white

who have kids I think those kids will be raised in a way where they're anti-racist but I think people need to be like you can teach your kid to be anti-racist but you also have to explain to your kid when they're in class and their black classmate freddie gets called you know nappy headed your kid can't just be quiet and go that was wrong your kid has to out loud go don't do that to freddie that's not nice freddie's hair is different than your hair i would you feel if i called you strawhead you wouldn't like it yeah so it's it's like there's good allies and there's active allies and i think that's i'm hopeful me too kirby i also think that like what you were saying is about the kids is you know i think the majority of people we know

we are one of their black friends we are probably one we are probably you and i cross over so we are yes two they may have two black friends or they may have whatever like but we all have multiple white friends but i think that like maybe as people are becoming more aware of that like i don't know take a look back at your wedding photos and see what that landscape looks like and i think as you become aware of that then you will you know because you can't just like be like oh shit i'm gonna drop all these friends i mean you can make an effort but i think like you can start to make an effort and see where those patterns are so like when you do if you do have kids and you take them to school because i

know we talk so much about like millennials and gen z's and i do think that those people those like the movement is always young i think i think movements happen from younger generations but i do think that the people who are in their 30s and 40s or even late 20s whatever whenever you're having kids people who are having kids can be more aware that like it's implicit bias is the reason why when i start my kid at school i immediately make friends with the other white moms rather than going and talking to the black mom so then my kid now is like this is normal so i think it's like that's also a way that you can be active and an older generation is going like oh everyone around me is white because of xyz but that doesn't have to be the same for my kid yeah wow speaking of kids and

dating we brought it back full circle after you date you can have a kid but kirby truly i could talk to you for hours and hours but we've come to the end we have oh man i usually ask all of my guests i think i've missed it like four times but would you date me of course oh my god i should be so lucky thank you kirby oh also I have to say this. So you're in Cruella and I think I auditioned for that part. I don't have a good English accent. And then after my audition, I was like, my friend Kirby's got an English accent because she's English.

And they were like, we love Kirby. And then like a month or two later, it was like on deadline that you got it. And I was like, they made the right choice. Oh, Nicole. That's so nice. See, that's solidarity. Thank you for giving me a shout. Well, it's just like, I used to be a person who was like, only one black is allowed at the table.

Or not like that was in my heart. It was just what I was told. And that's what I believed. And then the longer I've been alive, I'm like, oh, no, there's room at the table for everybody. And you're part of it. You might have to step back from the table to allow someone else at the table. And it's like, I don't have an English accent. I can't do that part.

So why would I be like, oh, I hope I get it. I won't say anything else about it. I was like, no, no, Kirby. Thanks, Nicole. Oh, boy. And I think we can all uplift other black women because it's tough. It's tough for us. Yeah.

And a lot of times I think about all the things I've had to do to create my own space because I wasn't allowed in a space or like, was like, no, you can't have that. You can't have this. And I'm like, okay, well, I guess I'll fucking do like a podcast. Like doing a podcast was like a reason to do it was like, oh, well, let me give myself a platform to talk about whatever the fuck I want to talk about. Yeah. Yeah. But like pulling each other up, I think that's good. I think that's great. And I think you're doing great because this podcast are a very white space and this is an amazing podcast I love it I won't be ashamed to tell people that I asked to be on here because I love it well Kirby to be fair I've asked you so many times to be on it but you truly have been i'm honestly so happy and so proud of you uh it's just nice to

see a black friend fucking work same like do good work you know same nicole i've never watched you and been like kirby you shouldn't have gotten that it's like no you you did all the work to be ready to work and you're just you're you're so funny. And I truly adore you. I adore you, Nick. I hope this corona goes away so I can see my friends again. I know, we can hug in person. Also, someone give us a job together. Yes.

Oh, that I would love. I truly would love that. That would be the best. Yeah, I would love that. Do you have anything you want to promote I know that life is tough and nobody's really been working but like uh do you have anything that's like coming out that you know of um I know I don't but what I will promote is two apps that I recently really like one is called um black owned everything. That's an Instagram page.

And the other is called Black Wall Street, which is an app where you can find lots of black owned everything in your area. That's great. I fucking love that because I just was truly in crisis because I was looking for hair products that were black owned. Because I thought because you got brands like African Pride and Cantu and Shea Moisture where you're like, ah, thank God, black owned business.

And you're like, oh, black people don't own this. No, I'm going to send you a list. I have a list of some and I posted it today, but I'm going to send it to you. Also, I know Design Essentials is black owned and Atlanta based and they have amazing products. I've been using them for the last like three years. But I will send you the list of actual black owned hair companies.

Yeah. I found one called. Oh, shit. It has the best. Oh, it's like Uncle Funky's Curl System. And I the name made me laugh so hard. But then their packaging was so cute. And I was like, oh, OK, Uncle F so cute and i was like oh okay uncle funkies

i was like i love us i love that someone's like i'm gonna name my company uncle funky and i said we are the funniest people i love us on reddit is the funniest i've ever seen in my entire life black twitter my god it's crazy well if you like this episode of why won't you date me you can like it you can subscribe on itunes and if you write me something nasty to hit on me i will read it out loud this nice person said i want to shrink down to the smallest size possible and climb that booty it will be known as the greatest expedition known to man uh i'm only 16 episodes in so i don't know if you still read these but i wanted to leave one hey friend i still read them

thank you This has been a Team Coco production.