Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Life as a 90s Sex Symbol (w/ Danielle Fishel)

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

Actor and director Danielle Fishel (Boy Meets World, Girl Meets World) joins Nicole for a chat about how it felt to be treated as a "sex symbol" in the 90s before she was even an adult. Danielle talks about the gross public countdowns to her 18th birthday, and the trauma of being mocked on her own show for being "fat" at a size 4.She shares what it was like taking Lance Bass to her high school prom during the absolute peak of *NSYNC, having Sabrina Carpenter and John Mayer in her wedding party, and details a 3-day nightmare date from her matchmaker era that might just be the worst dating story we've ever heard on this podcast. Plus, the sweet story of marrying her high school acquaintance after reconnecting on Twitter 18 years later.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastWant more Danielle? Check out her many podcasts!Teen Beat - The show where she interviews other child stars and actors about their upbringings and experiences in the industry.Pod Meets World - Fishel rewatches Boy Meets World and shares behind-the-scenes stories with her co-stars.American Idol Official Podcast - Fishel Interviews the eliminated contestants.Take our listener survey and shape the future of the podcast!Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:» HelloFresh: Go to HelloFresh.com/dateme10fm now to Get 10 Free meals + Free Nutribullet® Ultra Plus+ 2-in-1 Compact Kitchen System (a $189.99 value) on your 3rd box. *Free meals applied as a discount on the first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan. Disclaimer: Must order the 3rd box by May 31st, 2026.» IQBar: Text DATE to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply.» The Man of Many Fathers: Available everywhere audiobooks are sold.» Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.» Betterhelp: This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/dateme today to get 10% off your first month.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerThis is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description. This is a headgum podcast. So the third date, he says, I was training for a half marathon at the time. He goes, you're training for a half marathon. Let's go for a run tomorrow and then get dinner. Okay.

And I say, okay, when I tell you that he was very proud of the fact that he ran track and field in high school and thought his mission on this. state was to be my marathon coach and was literally running beside me, clapping me along, hand on the small of my back, pushing me along to run faster. And then when I was like, I do just want to remind you, I told you that I do not run fast. I am new to this. I need to run at my pace. He was like, all right, fine, I'll just run ahead of you. And then did. Then just ran ahead of me, would then stop, turn around, jogging place, wait for me to catch up to him. hand on the small my back occasionally, finish our run.

We're going to go get sushi. And he stops and says, some of my friends are nearby at a bar. Do you want to stop in and say hi? Why? No. I didn't. No. But I did.

And they were all wasted. One of them was shirtless. And the other one was wearing a nash. Fosso Foam Helmet. I said hello and tried to be as polite as possible. I'm like, can we please just go get sushi? We go get sushi at the place he recommended. And at the end, when the bill comes, I offer to pay.

And he said, okay. I would have ran right into the ocean. That man is an absolute menace. He's probably still out there. Probably still out. Pushing women around. If you know Roy Wood, Jr. from The Daily Show or a coffee episode of this podcast when he was a guest,

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and the golden rule of how not to get caught snitching. It's essentially about how raising a good son means paying attention to the mentors who showed up for you. Roy has reached millions of people from headlining the White House correspondent's dinner to his new Hulu special Lonely Flowers, which is very funny,

and he brings the same sharp wit and wisdom to this book. It is written and read by Roy so you get his perfect delivery throughout. Pick up the Man of Many Fathers written and read by Roy Wood Jr. Wherever books and audiobooks are sold. Me and my friends love to take trips together. And we took this trip to Joshua Tree. And I was like, I don't want to stay in a hotel. I want to stay in like a really, really, really cute house with like a good kitchen.

because when I'm like going to do like a girls trip, I absolutely love, love, love to just like cook in the kitchen and not have to order a room service and not always have to go out to a restaurant or whatever. And look, I love my friends. I really do. But lately I don't get to see them as much as I like. So when we finally plan a trip together, it has to count.

I want every second to be quality time. That's why when I'm traveling with friends, I look to book a stay on Airbnb. Airbnb is great because, you can book an entire place to yourself. Next time you're traveling, book a stay on Airbnb so you can actually stay together. Another episode of Why Won't You Date Me a Podcaster, was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come on my purse

and say it is a bad charm. My guest is an incredible actor, director, and producer. You know and lovers, Topanga Lawrence from the iconic show Boy Meets World. and Girl Meets World. She hosts the new pop culture podcast Teen Beat, which I've guessed it on. And I'm so excited she's here. It's Danielle Fischel!

Wait, did I say her last name right? You did. Oh, thank God. I usually... I usually ask before I say it. Yeah, you didn't right. And then it was happening. You just knew it.

You knew it. I knew it. Danielle, I have some questions. Okay. You're a married woman. I am. I'm a married woman. How did you meet your...

partner. Like all partners, we went to high school together. Ah, yes, yes. Now, that's how we first met. So we met in 1995 at high school. And we were acquaintances. My husband did the morning announcements. So everyone knew him because everyone heard his voice every day. And he was a very funny guy. And so everyone knew who he was. And then a lot of people knew who I was because I was on TV. I was on Boy Meets World. So we were two people that were popular but different. Yes. So therefore, you know, you know each other. And then he graduated two years before I did. And we would run into each other at different events, whether it was, they were no longer school events.

But like once I had graduated high school and we'd run into each other at clubs or he then went into the entertainment industry. So we'd bump into each other at like, you know, serious radios in New York. And so we just kind of were in and out of each other's lives as at best friends and at least acquaintances. And then when did you like officially get together? How long after high school? 2017. I graduated in 99. So a solid 18 years. Wow. Yeah. And we were acquaintances and friends through all that time. Throughout that whole time. And then what led to you guys getting together? Did you reach out? Did he reach out? I had been married before. I'm racking up. the rings. And we're on tune now. Who's to stop me? Who's to stop me? Who's to say what the future

hold? Why would I, why would I stop? And I had gotten a divorce and felt very much like it was a come to Jesus time in my life of very easy to point the fingers and be like, well, look at these slouches. It must be them. But I really did recognize like, girl, what's, what's, what's, what be something inside. Yeah, it might be something to look at here. And so I really like pulled back. I like took myself off social media. I just really turned inward and did a lot of work. And then some years passed. And I went back into the social media world. And I tweeted something back when Twitter was a place I would even visit. I tweeted something just the most banal benign thing you could think of. It was like a picture of me and my brother. for International Siblings Day. Remember that?

Wholesome. Wasn't it sweet? The internet used to be a nice place. It was so sweet. International Siblings Day. Women Crush Wednesday. Man crush Monday. Where did it go?

Where did it? TBT. All those things. Yeah, it was a sweet time. And I posted that picture and he just, I think, like sent me a blue heart. And I saw his name pop up and I hadn't talked to him in a couple of years. And I thought, that's always been a good guy. Mm-hmm.

Nothing more than that. Nothing romantic, just that's always been a good guy. And then as I was now back into social media, I was seeing more of his tweets and gosh, he's really funny. And then he tweeted something about Rebecca Black who had saying the Friday, Friday. Exactly. And I knew her mother. Her mother was a vet who had put my dog to sleep. Small world. Small world. And I just felt like he needed to know that. And so I messaged that to him and that opened up a more direct conversation between us where we were like, we should hang out. Again, it was not romantic at first. It was just like, we've known each other for 25 years. Let's get together. What are you up to? What are you up to? And so then we had a phone conversation.

And that led into texting regularly. And next thing I knew, I was like, I think we like each other. Oh my. So when was your first date? Our first date was March of 2017. Okay. And we had probably, I'd probably, I'd probably got that tweet from him sometime in like January of 2017. And then we were married November of 2018. So we went real quick. Okay. Yeah. But that's sometimes you go quick when you're like, this is my person. This is the person I'm having the most fun with. We have things in common. Yes. I just like spending time with you. Yes. And we got to cut a lot of the like getting to know you stuff because there was a little bit of history. We have a little bit of history. And when you grow up in the same neighborhood and, you know, there's, you just, I didn't have to worry or spend

the first few months wondering if he was going to murder me. I felt confident that he would not. That he would not, yes. And so that saves at least three months. That saves a lot of time, you know, this man is not a killer. No, not as far as I'm aware. Still haven't figured that out. So, but I feel good about that. Can I ask, maybe this is something you've spoken about a lot and you don't want to, you don't have to. But I feel like I remember you were, you were, you know, you start off as a kid and then there was like countdowns to you turning 18. Same with like the Olson twins and like all these like young women who are thrust in the spotlight. Like how did that feel in the moment?

Very good question. Are you sure? Yeah. No, it is. A very good question. And it's something that I've had, I've talked a lot about on our podcast only recently because we are just now on PodMeets World at season seven of Boy Meets World, which is where a lot of, things shifted for me about the way I felt about that. Yes, I was aware when I was young that I was, for lack of a better term, a sex symbol, that there were people who guys were like,

oh my gosh, I have a crush on her, I like her. And as a young teenager, that felt very thrilling to when you're like just coming into like understanding what sexuality is and recognizing it as a bit of a power. And yet how do I wield it? it. Do I even want to wield it? What does that mean? It's all very overwhelming. And I was a bit of a late bloomer and and was a, you know, a little bit afraid of what any of that could mean. And then when I did turn 18, I had gained only the littlest bit of weight. And you, you would think the way I then was perceived and or talked about was just to be discarded. Like, what a shame. This young girl, this child, this who weighed 98 pounds, her whole teenagehood.

Went through puberty and now has boobs and weighs probably 115 and is now 18 and ugh. Was the feeling I had on set, the feeling I had from people who had, grown up watching me and had no problems sharing these thoughts with me. And so all of a sudden, it was like now I am actually a woman, albeit still a very young woman. I felt very old. You know, I felt very like 18 was, you can say nothing to me. I am grown. But now, of course, we look at 18 year olds. And we're like, still children. I want to hug you. Absolutely children.

Swaddle you and just give you a hug. And so then it became, difficult because I didn't realize how much of my self-worth had been tied up in the idea that people found me attractive. And then when people no longer found me attractive, I felt bad about myself. Oof, that fucking sucks. It sucks. Oh my God. I empathize. I have no idea what that feels like, but I can like truly empathize with that. Like just to wake up one day and have the world be like, yuck, we don't like it. Boo. Oh, what an actual nightmare. How did you feel? figure out how to like keep a good head on your shoulders and pull yourself out of that? It took 10 years. It was truly some of the roughest years of my life from like 18 to 26, 27 years old.

You know, like a lot of depression or, and I'm not saying I had depression, but like something like that where it can be a self perpetuating cycle where like I don't feel good about myself, so therefore I don't take care of myself. Well, not taking care of myself is making me not feel good about myself. And that kind of of cycle existed for a lot of years. And it wasn't then until I decided, you know, hey, you know what, I don't think I need this business anymore. I don't think I need that anymore. I think what I really need is to find something else that brings me joy and that I love. And when I decided to go back to school and study psychology, that's when I all of a sudden just felt very much like I'm in control of my life, but I had felt like I'd really handed over all the power to other people.

I mean, you say felt, but maybe you did. I had. Because you were a child and then you have a bunch of adults telling you what to do. And as a kid, you're like, well, surely these adults mean well and have my best interest at heart. And it's like, actually, maybe they didn't. Correct. Because they really could have protected you a little bit.

Yeah. Also, it's like adults are in charge of publications that, like, would put shit out about it. And it's like, what are we doing? Yes. It's so wild. It was a rough time the late 90s, early aughts. And, you know, honestly, we're getting back there.

It's shocking how so many of the images and things I see of people in the public eye are like, bring me back to that time of like, oh, gosh, that's right. Where that feeling of like everyone weighs 94 pounds. And it's hard. Wild. I remember it was like. I mean, we all remember. It was like a picture of Jessica Simpson just taking it like, not even a bad angle, but they were like, look at this fatty. And it was like.

They were like, these jeans. Yes. It's like, wait, what? What are we doing? And I've always been fat. So I was like, well, if she's fat, oh my God, I'm the Loch Ness monster. This is wild. There was a time that I remember, like we did an episode on the show called she's having her baby back ribs.

And it was about me being fat. And I was a size four. I was literally the genes that they have me zipping up pretending that I can't zip up because they were my husbands or my boyfriends on the show. I remember being like, they're a size four. And I remember thinking before I started thinking they're right, I'm gross. I do remember thinking if my size four body is being talked about this way, what is that saying to everyone else who a size four is the dream? So I was at least at some point capable of wreckage. Yes.

This is crazy. This is actually really wild and doesn't make sense. Exactly. That's like in the Sex and the City movie where Samantha comes and they have her in jeans that are slightly too small and they're like, damn. And it's like, well, she's still very thin. I know. So thin. And a size four in the 90s, that's like a size zero now.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. My God. So on your podcast, you talked about dating Lance Bass, which I think is so. So fun. That's so wild to me. And this was when he was in, in sync, right? Oh, yeah. This is peak in sync. For people mean to you? Like being like, that's my boyfriend or people loved it. Oh, fans. Yes. Fans were at, there were some fans that were very much like, what? Not her. And then, you know, terrible things about me written on message boards and all that. But there were also quite a few people who were like, oh my gosh, I love her. And I love her. And I love her. And I love.

of him, I ship them. This is great. This is, you know, back in the, you know, teen magazine days. And so my general feeling was not of being hated, but I know there were some, sure, yeah. And you dated for how many years? About a year. About a year. Yeah.

And then you went to prom with him. He came to my high school prom. What was that like? Were people freaking out? Freaking out. And here's where, again, Danielle, teenage Danielle, just not the brightest. bulb because you would think that I would know that's going to be a disaster. Yes.

But I didn't because I was like, well, I'm also famous. I knew that I was not on the same level as Lance, but I actually just gave all the credit to my high school peers and were like, they're not impressed by fame. Yes. They have treated me normally all these years. Lance will show up and it will be as if nothing has changed. And then we went to a prom pre-party to take photos. And when I tell you, the entire neighborhood was out with cameras and siblings and chasing.

And I was like, oh, no. And Lance was such a good sport because Lance had never been able to go to his prom because he was a member of Insync. And so him going to my prom, he was like, this is going to be me experiencing prom. the first time. And so he was a good sport about it. And then at some point in the, at that pre-promp party, he was like, I'm going to have to go sit in a limo. And I was like, that's a good idea. Yeah. I understand that. And then at the actual prom, did he have to leave? He, you know what? It was okay. We kind of, everyone there was like excited, but mostly kept it cool. And then, and then we did leave a little early to go back to our hotel room.

I think it's genuinely so funny that you were like, This will go normally. Totally. This will be fine. You know, I'm on television. They treat me normally. Listen. But it's like they see you every day.

Correct. They're used to you. Every single day. Also, Danielle, Boy Meets World in sync. It was a little different, you know? Sure, but I really didn't think much about it. It was huge. It was such a huge show.

I watched it growing up, you know? Yeah. And you've dated co-stars. I did. I dated one Mr. Matthew Lawrence. Yes. Yes. And then you went on one day.

with Ben Savage. And then you guys were like, no, thank you. This actually didn't work out. That was such, again, another wonderful, totally innocent teenager. We were like 14, maybe 15. So what is a date, really, if not just going to dinner? And I don't remember where we went, but it was probably a taco place. Like just right near the studio.

And it really was the most casual looking at each other going, we do, we do kids. all day, like anyway, at work, they're paying us. And we do laugh, you know, we laugh a lot. What, do we, are we kind of, do we like each other? That's really funny. That was literally all it was we kiss. We kiss already. We get along all day. Maybe we should date in real life. This would be convenient. But that's like the true testament to chemistry. It's like, so we had chemistry on camera when we're doing our job, but off camera, oh, Oh, wow. You're a nice friend. It was. It was. You know what? I love giggling with you. And when they pay me money, we will kiss.

Your first boyfriend was Jonathan Taylor Thomas. It was, yeah, my very first ever boyfriend at 12. And he was on the home improvement set directly next door to us. So that was another very convenient romance. I look at you're dating just in a proximity of things. You're like, this person's close to me. I don't know. When you're 13 and you have a full-time job and full-time school, guess what? It's going to be either someone in your class or someone on your set. It's going to be one of those two places.

It's got to be convenient. Yeah, there's nowhere else. Like, there's nowhere. There's no cars to drive. You're just with your parents or with this group of people. But Jonathan was very special because Jonathan's the first person. I really remember being like, oh, no, I get it. I have a crush on someone like butterflies and nervous.

and just loved him to death. Oh, I love that. I think that's really sweet. And love him still to the stay. I love that you're still in touch. I love that you still talk. Like, that's just so sweet to me. When I first moved to L.A.,

I went to a house party and he was there. Yeah. And I just looked at him and I was like, hmm, don't be weird. I was like, I have to go. Because I was like, the Lion King's right there. There he is. There he is.

And he's so, he's one of those people that I wish everyone had the opportunity to know because he is better than you would think. I love that. Even if you think he's got to be amazing, he's better than that. He's so smart. His sense of humor is killer.

And he's just a genuinely good dude. Cares a lot about animals. Cares a lot about the environment. Reeds. I can't say enough good things. Just a good person. That makes me so happy. Real quick, we got to take a break.

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Just do it. Say yes. Say yes to as many things. I tried a matchmaker once. Oh, you did? I sure did. How did that go? Not great. But here's the... But I would do it again.

in a heartbeat if I needed to. Because some of the stories I got out of those dates that I went on. Well, there was this one guy. So one of the things I told the matchmaker was important to me was that I wanted someone, this was obviously before I married Jensen, I wanted someone who was secure in whatever industry they worked in, that I didn't care what the industry was. They didn't need to be creative or whatever. As a matter of fact, I preferred them not to be.

But I wanted them to be, like, good at that. And I want them to be passionate about it and good at it. And she was like, great, I've got this guy. I think you'll really like him. He owns his own home and he, you know, all this stuff. And he has a lot of, also at the time, I told her, like, one of my love languages, to use some outdated terms we used to really believe in, love languages, was like time together, quality time together. And me having a schedule that's very flexible, in a perfect world, I'd be with someone who could. but also like a little flexible. She said, great. I've got the guy for you. And then he called me and he had a very high voice. Okay. Which was a little shocking. It was higher than any voice I had ever heard on the phone to me.

And I thought, but that's okay. No big deal. I'm not going to judge a book by a phone cover at all, like a phone call. I'm not going to do that. We're going to see how this goes. And in the phone conversation, we talked about, just things we like, you know. And I mentioned that I like cars. I did not say I love them, that I know everything about them, that I research. I just was like, I like cars. Yeah, they're cool.

And when I see a nice one, I'm like, that's a nice car. You know, just, and he was like, oh, I love cars. And then I was like, oh, wow, I can tell this is a really big passion of yours. That's amazing. Well, then he showed, I lived in a tiny little suburb of Orange County. And he showed up. to pick me up for our date in like an insane Lamborghini that he was so excited to show me. And he was in like a pastel searsucker suit. And he was so excited to show me this Lamborghini. And I was like, oh, wow. Look at this.

Wow. And then he was expecting me to be very impressed. And it was an impressive car for sure. But it was very low to the ground. I'd never been in anything even remotely like it. And then he was like, and wait till you hear how loud it is. And then he made it very loud, whatever you have to do to make it loud, and peeled off down the street of my tiny little suburban Orange County. And there were like moms and dads and little kids that have seen me.

me for years living here, have seen me also just go through a divorce and now see me get in this Lamborghini with the pastel. She's having a midlife crisis. And he and the and I was just like this like oh my god.

And then we went on the date and he wouldn't stop talking about the fucking car. He talked about the car the whole night and then he was all excited again to make it loud on the way home. And he dropped me off and I walked inside that house and locked the door and never again, never again.

Honestly, what a treat. I would have, I would have married him because I love cars and if a man goes, want to hear my car go loud, I go, yes, I do. Oh man, I wonder if he's still single. That's so funny. Yeah, it was like...

Wait, do you have another date from the matchmaker that you want to tell me? Yeah, I do have another one. I went on a date with a guy. We went to just have coffee. I learned from the last one. full dinner dates in the Lamborghini, let's meet for coffee. And so we went and met for coffee. And he asked me a question about myself. I don't remember what it was. But I started to answer. And then he immediately interrupted my answer and started talking to me about him. But every story about

him was, he was so down in the dumps. It was truly like, I felt just so bad for him. And as, you know, maybe you've picked up on the idea that I am. for the most part, I'm a realist, but like, for the most part, I can, life's going to truck on. And like, there's a meaning to this. We can, everything he said was like, well, I wanted to, but then I got fired from my job. And I was like, oh, wow, I'm really sorry. How long had you been there? It was just, you know, I've been there for seven years. I really thought we were a family. And then they just let me go. And it was really, honestly, it was very devastating. It was like, wow, I'm really sorry. He's like, yeah, well, so what do you think about? He'd ask me another question, I'd start to answer it and he'd give me, yeah, well, for me. And the last thing he

talked about was like about how his knees were now going and he was only 36 and he just, he needed to have a surgery. And I was like, well, you know, thank you for this. Good luck. You wanted coffee because you needed to pick me up. And we didn't get it done. So you're going to have to figure out them knees by yourself. I also went on a date with a guy for my dad's work. And this turned into a three-day date. Wait. Oh. Okay. Three separate dates. No spending the nights.

Okay. But just three separate dates in a row. You had a question, though. Well, did your dad set you up or was this through the matchmaker? My mom set me out. Oh, okay. So how do you go on a three-day date with breaks in between the days? I'll tell you. So my mom had seen this guy at my dad's company at the company parties. And she was like, this guy's a babe.

And so she had told me, there's this. babe at your dad's office and I want to set you up with him and I was like okay I'm in I'm interested in this so she told she she gave me his number and then we talked on the phone great good phone conversation even texted a little bit great text conversation my mom goes so when it's not super awkward why don't you invite we're going to have a barbecue okay why don't you just invite him over to our house okay for a barbecue where he can have other people to talk to. It's not just you face to face with the haughty guy from your dad's office. And I'm like, that's a good idea. Now, is it also going to be awkward for him that my dad, who is the president

of the company, that now he's coming to my dad's house, like maybe that will be weird. So I don't know, but I'll leave it up to him. So I leave it up to him. We're having this barbecue. And he goes, I would love that. But I would actually just like to take you to dinner first without that being the first time. And I go, I love that. Great. So we do. We go to dinner. But we, I meet him at his house. And I walk in and he goes, well, let me give you the tour. Great. And he gives me the tour. But part of the tour really did include him saying, this is where the magic happens. Like he's on an episode of Crives. That's wild. It was real. And I was like, oh, that's icky. I mean, that's going to give me.

to ick. But, but, okay, we're just starting this dinner date. Then we get in the car and he says, I've got to tell you, I'm really looking forward to going to dinner because I need a drink. And I was like, oh, you know, why? And he was like, I am so nervous. I'm so nervous right now. Uh-huh. Why are you so nervous? He's like, I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, you're so beautiful, very sweet. And I'm like, what? And I'm like, what? Oh, okay, well, that's nice. Thank you. We get to the restaurant.

He sits down. They have not even given us menus. And he's like, can someone bring me a drink menu? I'm like, oh, gosh. And he's like, I'm just so nervous. And I'm like, I know. We did go over that. He's like, yeah, I'm just, I'm so nervous.

He orders a drink. I order a glass of wine. This is before I stopped drinking, but I order a glass of wine. And then he goes, I have a confession to make. I go, what? And he goes, I told a bunch of my friends we were going to be here. And I told them to come, but to not act like they knew I was going to be here. And so if a bunch of my friends walk up and will you just, I'm going to pretend that they don't know that, but I told them that I was going to be here.

I was just so nervous. I was just so nervous that I thought maybe I would want to have like somebody else to talk to. And I go, somebody else to talk to? Yeah. At dinner? Uh-huh. And I go, oh, okay. within 15 minutes, about four people wander up, pretend to be shocked that we're there.

He pretends, even he should have just been like, I told her. I told her. No, we all pretend. This is the most fucked up acting exercise. I'm like, oh, so strange that you. Well, hey, nice to meet you. Then it's time to order our meal. And I'm like ravenous.

And I go, I'm looking at steaks. And he says, I'm just going to eat a dinner salad. I'm too nervous to eat. And at this point, I'm like, sir, we have been on this date for like 45 minutes to an hour. I'm hungry. I'm not going to change my order because you're just eating a dinner salad. But four times to tell me that you're very nervous is too many times. I'm starting to be like, do you need to go?

Should we even be here? Should we leave? Anyway, he eats his dinner salad. I eat my steak. And then he's like, should we go for a walk? And I'm like, I guess. I just said at this point, I'm just ready for the date to be over. But also, realize, the next day is this barbecue.

Oh, no. He's already coming over. I couldn't get, the first date not being good. So I just decide, I'm going to chalk it up to nerves. Yes. And maybe tomorrow in the afternoon, in the light of day, he'll be a normal person. And it was a little better, although he just mostly ignored me and hung out with my dad all day at the grill, at the meal in the kitchen, just followed my dad around. And my mom and I were like,

I don't know, I don't know where this is, I don't know where this is going. But then a third day of this happened. So I, again, I have a very high tolerance for bullshit. I gave him, I said, okay, the first two experiences were rough. He was very nervous about the single date. He was nervous around my dad. Maybe he just followed my dad around because he was too nervous to sit and talk to me in front of my dad, cutting him some slack. So the third date, he says, I was training for a half marathon at the time. He goes, you're training for a half marathon. Let's go for a run tomorrow and then get dinner. Okay. And I say, okay, but I need you to know. One, I'm a treadmill runner. I don't run outside a lot. It's cold. It's hard to breathe. I'm not sure this is going to be hot for a date. And also,

So I run slow. I'm talking like four and a half miles an hour, five miles an hour max. And he's like, that's no problem. Not a problem at all. You run at your pace. Great. And I'm like, okay, sure, let's go for a run. We meet at the beach and we go for a run.

Oh, no. And when I tell you that he was very proud of the fact that he ran track and field in high school and thought his mission on this date was to be. my marathon coach and was literally running beside me, clapping me along, hand on the small of my back, pushing me along to run faster. And then when I was like, I do just want to remind you, I told you that I do not run fast. I am new to this. I need to run at my pace. He was like, all right, fine, I'll just run ahead of you. And then did. Then just ran ahead of me, would then stop, turn around, jogging place, wait for me to catch up to him, hand on the small of my

back occasionally, took every, and then just run up ahead and then, and then finish our run. We're going to go get sushi. And he stops and says, some of my friends are nearby at a bar. Do you want to stop in and say hi? Why? No. I didn't. No.

But I did. And they were all wasted. one of them was shirtless, and the other one was wearing a NASA foam helmet. He then had a couple of drinks with them. I said hello and tried to be as polite as possible. By the way, I am flushed as hell. I am not cute after running. Some women are adorable on a workout.

Not me. I'm like, can we please just go get sushi? We go get sushi at the place he recommended. And at the end, when the bill comes, I offer to pay. And he said, okay. I would have ran right into the ocean. That man is an absolute menace. He's probably still out there.

Probably still out. Pushing women around. But just hollowed their backs. And when then he reached out to me about a fourth date, I said, I was not honest. I said, you know, I think. think maybe this was too soon for me to date because I had just gotten out of a relationship, maybe a few months before. And so I said, I really think this experience taught me that maybe I'm just not ready to be in a new relationship. And so you're great, really nice, liked you a lot.

But it's just, I don't think this is for me right now. And he wrote me back and said, well, we both know that's not true. If you don't like me, you can just say you don't like me. And I was like, okay. What a nightmare. What a nightmare of a human. It's the worst three-day date to anyone's ever had. Daniel, this man was so poorly behaved and then was like, hey, if you didn't like the way I was behaving, tell me. Exactly.

Exactly. And I was like, if someone tries to, even if he knew that that was a lie, that the truth was I just didn't like him. Why do you then just accept that? Say, you know what? She's trying to be nice. She's trying to be nice. I'm just going to let her off the hook.

No, couldn't do it. I wonder where he is now. I don't know. I should find him on Facebook. You should. I really would love an update. I need to know if he's making some lady's life miserable. Miserable.

We have to take one more break. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Let's talk about money for a second. Dating someone who makes way more or way less than you can be incredibly awkward. You feel that weird tension the second the check hits the table and suddenly you're doing mental math on how it should be split. It's a massive stressor. And it turns out 88% of us have started the year feeling financial stress.

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It'll make your life so much easier. Ready to make your website? Go to Squarespace.com slash date me for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code date me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. So you mentioned when I was on your podcast. Maybe it wasn't on the podcast. Maybe it was after.

but you were talking about how on Boy Meets world, you weren't really allowed to like act or like you weren't, is that something we can talk about? Absolutely. Like you weren't, that blows me away. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't exactly, it wasn't a place where, at least for the majority of us,

Will Fidel, who played Eric, feels differently. He, they kind of let him off a leash and really just let him do what he wanted. And when they needed to reel him back, they would. for the rest of us, it was mostly line readings and mostly being told what the intention was about why this was written, how it should be said, and what is the only funny way of saying it? And there were very rarely exceptions to the one funny way to say it. And we would be told how that funny way is. Was that frustrating or was that just how you thought it went?

I didn't know any better because I had barely worked in any other capacity at all. So for the first several years, when me, a child actor, who's a people pleaser, listen, you want to just tell me what's going to make you happy? And then I get to do it. It was the cat's pajamas. Great. Love it. By the time I got to be 17, 18, 19, and I've been doing it for a very long time now. I, am very, and I'm, burnt out. And yeah, then it was frustrating. Did you ever, like, ask, can I try it differently? Or was that just, like, not a thing? Usually the way we got to try it is if we, if we didn't have a direct line reading and we do the first take. And then if it wasn't what he wanted, we would hear,

no. And then run into camera and then no. And then tell us how to say. say it. And a lot of times it would also, the note would come in the way of like, you're doing blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I want bab, blah, blah. And so then we would have to, and so we would do it that way. Wow. What a fun environment to do art. My God. And was this in front of an audience? I can't yes. Yeah. Right? That's crazy. Yeah, there were, there have been stories that have come up on the podcast that I, as a young child, like 12, 13, burst into tears in front of the live studio audience and they had to stop down and I don't remember it. Of course you don't.

You fucking block that out of your memory. Yeah, block that shit out real fast. That's so awful. I can't imagine speaking to a child with anything but like, hey, let's work on this together because you're a fucking child. That's so wild. Yeah. What a wild way to run your set.

I don't like it. Yeah. Let's get in a time machine and fix that. We joke about the time machine on our podcast all the time. We want to go in the time machine and do things differently. And, you know, when I think about the fact that I loved or I thought I loved acting, when I started Boy Meets World, writer strong really loved acting. Will Ferdell loves sitcoms specifically and the acting on sitcoms.

And I think, I don't think it's out of turn to say that Ben Savage obviously loved being an actor. Yes. And yet, we were on a very successful show. show and of the four of us, none of us really went on to continue in that field. And I think, you know, our showrunner would have a million reasons for why he did the things that he did and, and, you know, there would be justifications and all of that. And I give him credit where credit is due. There were a lot of things where he was right, you know, there were a lot of times he'd be like, what you just did isn't as funny as this.

And then he'd be right. I would do it that way and it would be funnier. But I... There's a different way to deliver a message. Agreed. Fully agree. But I do also think we didn't really learn to be in touch. We didn't learn a craft.

We learned to mimic. Which is its own skills. Yes. But it doesn't help you much. Go to a different project. And then you're like, well, no one on this project is telling me. how to say these lines. So then how do I say these lines? Yeah. So when you did Girl Meets World, how was it a, it was a different experience, obviously. It's years and years and years later.

So did you, do you think you came into your own as an actress or what? So Girl Meets World came about and I, Girl Meets World was a difficult few years for me. And both personally, I went through, my divorce during that time and then professionally because had Girl Meets World never happened, I never would have even been able to articulate any of the things I just told you about the environment we grew up in. I did not know that that was the reason why none of us continued to work. I did not know that there should be a different way of speaking to children. I did not know that it had negatively impacted me at all. I was. told and believed for all those years of Boy Meets World and all those years after Boy Meets

World that everyone I worked with was a genius. Everyone who told me what to do was right and had my best interest in mind and was always looking out for me and was lovely and loving. And then as a 30 something early 30 something year old woman who had taken space in time away from the entertainment industry, had gone to get my degree in psychology, had was planning on, had just been accepted to get my master's in marriage and family therapy at Chapman University, get called to do this show, Girl Meets World. And I think, well, what a once in a lifetime opportunity. Who gets to play the same character years later? The reboot was not a thing back then.

Yes. You were like one of the first. And so it was like, this is incredible. I'm going to go back and do it. And then I saw all the same behavior. Oh. Played out in front of me. Uh-huh. But through adult with rose-colored glasses tossed off, and I started saying, but wait, what are you doing? But wait, I will not let you talk to me like that. And but wait, I will not let you talk to them like that.

And I was aggressively shunned. Oh. And was talked about behind my back and was called self-righteous and was people who came to visit were told that I had gone crazy. And that because I was no longer the little girl who wanted to just. puppy dog eye him all the time. That sucks. I'm sorry. It was a really hard and painful three years. I'm very, very sorry that you went through that.

And I feel like when women advocate for themselves, they're seen as a bitch or difficult or saying she went crazy, which is an unhinged. Just because you're like, I don't like the way this is working, someone can't go, let me take a step back and understand why you don't like it.

Yeah. I'm really sorry that you went through that. That sucks. That's so fucking shitty. Thank you. It was. It was shitty. And I don't, you know, there were lots of shitty things about that experience.

But on the other hand, I'm incredibly grateful for the veil that it lifted for me. Because it really did help me, even in my own personal life during that time then personally with getting a divorce and me having all that self-reflection time, it was also a time for me to be like, hey, you know what else? I don't think I've ever established for myself. Boundaries. What are those? Yeah. And like, how do I make those? And that show was my first experience really advocating for myself and speaking up for myself and saying, I might ruffle feathers, but I have, if I don't say this, I will feel bad about myself later. And I can't do that. I can't allow myself to be dishonest with myself.

So lots of good things to, you know, rough experiences, but grateful to have them. And the shittiest part is you probably made the experience better for other people on this set, but it was at your expense. That's correct. And you know what? I would do that over and over again. I have no problem with that. I think that's one of my strong suits is like, oh, I can take it. I got it. Go ahead. Dish me your worst. Uh-huh. We'll be okay. I can take it. I can take it. But if it spares the shrapnel from other people, especially when you're talking about kids, give me the best shot you got. Go for it.

Well, Danielle, we have come to the end. Oh. I've had so much fun. You're truly a treat. This has been delightful. So are you. I really love being around you. We should do this just for fun and not for recording. friend. Let's do it. I'll date you. Oh, that was my next question. I almost ate this microphone. But that was my next question. Would you date be? Hey, you? I didn't even have to ask. Hell yes. You are fantastic. You're a dream. Thank you. Do you have anything you want to promote? I am going to be hosting the video companion companion podcast for American Idol. Oh, wait, that's so fun. Starting March 30th, Every Monday, I will be at the live taping. And then I'll get to interview the people who get let go.

And those episodes will be airing everywhere you get podcasts and available on Hulu on Wednesdays, the Wednesday after American Idol. That's exciting. I love that. Ooh. I wonder if they'll be so sad. Anyway. They will be. But you know what?

Here's the thing. That's where my mind immediately goes. I was like, oh, no, their dreams are crushed. But are they? Or did they just have the best? biggest platform of their life to show their talent that they can now spin into the next phase of their life. That's a nice reframe. And you know what? I'm going to have a wheel of fun so that when they walk off the first thing they're going to do is spin a wheel. They're going to win something.

You just lost American Idol. No problem. You're going to win something. It might be some shit from my house. It might be a quiz of art. I'm going to bring a random piece of shit from my house. It's going to go up on that board. You want a sock. Maybe not that. Maybe not that. I'm going to find something a little less shitty than that. But listen, I want to just show you how quickly you can have something to turn around. That's really sweet. I love that. And then you also have Teen Beat.

I sure do. Teen Beat the podcast. Pod Meets World. Book Meets World is coming out in November. We're going to have a coffee table book. That's coming out in November. But the book is available for pre-order now. And Dancing with the Stars.

And Dancing with the Stars. Yeah. In April, I will be back for a few dates. I'll be in Texas, Kansas City, and Denver. Oh, no. It's either Kansas City or Oklahoma City has a place where I had the best chicken I've ever had in my whole life. I'll have to look it up. I can't remember if it's Kansas City or... If it's Kansas City, I'm going to need you to tell me where that is. Okay. Okay. Note yourself. Okay. Okay. I'm losing my mind.

If you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me? You can like it. You can rate it. Subscribe. You can give me five stars on Apple Podcast. and if you write me something nasty hitting on me to Why Won't You Date Me Podcasts at Gmail.com, I will read it. Keep it short. This person writes, Hi, Nicole. I want to have you over for a relaxing and sensual evening

watching my cousin Vinnie. As we start Netflix and chilling and things get hot and heavy while I eat your pussy, you start to come so hard that the laws of physics, time, and space are defied. Suddenly, Joe Pessie, suddenly Joe Pesci emerges out of the TV during the middle of the movie

and joins us. in a threesome. He asks, how wet is your pussy? Regular, creamy, or al dente? You willingly read these. It is a line from my cousin Vinny. Oh, okay. So this person really got me good. That is so, he's talking about grits. He goes, you like them regular, regular, creamy, or al dente?

I like buying creamy. Anyway, then he disappears again. We both come again just from the shock and enjoy the rest of the movie. The end. Honestly, thank you. I loved it. Did you like it? Didn't seem like you did. No, no, that's not for me. No, this is not for me.

Seemed like you really hated it. Yeah, no, I'd like to remove myself from this situation real quick. Goodbye. Tell me about your wedding real quick. It was the most magical day, truly. I have to say, we ended this podcast and then I was like, Fire it up. Sabrina Carpenter was your prize me, which was in my notes.

And I meant to ask, and then I forgot and it came. to me after we ended. Yeah. So Sabrina and I met on Girl Meets World. Yeah. She played my daughter's best friend. And Sabrina and I just truly connected on that show and then have remained very close in each other's lives.

And yeah, I mean, I really consider Sabrina to be one of my best, best friends. Considering she is nearly 20 years younger than I am, I look up to her and admire her so much and value her input. Is she taller than you? She is not taller than me. I am taller than her. But we are very close in height. Very, very close in height.

But yeah, I really admire her instincts and I look up to her as a person. She's somebody who from the time she was very young has always trusted her instincts. And I am someone who assumed my instincts were always wrong, everyone else. were right. And I've only had, I've had to teach myself what even my instincts were telling me in my 30s and 40s. And so the fact that she's just so tapped into hers, I'm like, I just, I look up to her so much. I love that. I love when you have a friendship with someone where maybe your blind spot is their strong suit, I don't know, their strength. And it's like, we just compliment each other. Like my best friend, we really compliment each other because

she's just a little bit more grounded than I am. So she grounds me a little bit. And I just love that about her. And she probably loves that you get her out of that little comfort. Yeah. And you bring some joy and fun and frivolity to her life. Yeah. And then, yeah, I love telling everybody.

John Mayer was one of our groomsmen. My husband's groomsman. He sang our first dance song for us, which was Beyonce's. He does a cover of Beyonce's X-O. Oh, that's fun. That's to die for her. Oh, that's nice. And it was beautiful.

And we had a no-speech. rule at our wedding. I think speech is suck. And we had a no speech rule and John found a little way around it by singing a mini speech that he kind of wrote for Jensen at the end of the song, which was very beautiful. And yeah, we are very blessed with good, wonderful friends in our life. Yeah. So I hope you'll be one of them. I will. I genuinely like you. I like you too. I think you're wonderful. I think you've such like, I don't know, you radiate positivity. And I like when people are happy and positive. Yeah, me too. The world's bad. It's bad. Heard here first. Not good. It's not good. It's just not good. And so we got to spread joy, make joy, create joy, find it where we can and cultivate it with other people who are good at cultivating. Yes. Community Fedosh. Yes. Okay. Well, bye-bye. Again. That was a HeadGum podcast.